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My eternal blue rose
Chapter 7-Bleeding rose petals Sae's POVFlashback130428 春のメンバー人事 新兼任等宣布 AKB48グループ臨時総会夜公演—在线播放—优酷网,视频高清在线观看Sayaka... I see you... I see you crying...
I know you must be happy... We can be together, but... only for a while..."Sae!"
You suddenly hugged me. Aren't you ashamed? You hurt me.
Aren't you sad? I'm ignoring you.
You cry now. Why not then?
You sure do cry a lot, Sayaka..."Sae, I'm so glad... Listen, I promise I'll never leave you, okay? Ill always be RIGHT HERE!"
I pushed her away and silently walked out of the room. But, she forcefully opened the door and chased after me. I felt her grab my wrist.
"Sae, don't ignore me!"
"............" I stay silent. I can't face her now.
"Sae, I DEMAND you SPEAK to me!!! SAE!!!!!!!!!!"
I made her let go and ran off as fast as I could.
"Sae, come back here! Sae?! Sae!!!"
Shut up! Shut up, Sayaka!
End of FlashbackShe doesn't realize it. This is the ONLY thing I can do for her. I have to do this for her sake... For OUR sake. I can't let her get to close to me. Doesn't she see I have to be alone? I don't care if I make myself suffer. Sayaka needs to be alone, and that's exactly what I'll do, even if it means we both can't go anywhere near each other ever again.
End of Sae's POVSayaka's POVSae, what the hell are you doing to yourself?!
You're acting like Jurina, y'know? You're working yourself to death, refusing to eat, plus no matter what I say or do, you're always so dark and cold.
You feel cold to the touch and never say a word to me.
Sae, stop acting like this and turn back to normal!!!I've already called Sae, but she only makes me leave a message. I've texted her I don't know HOW many times now, but she won't reply. I try to call her again and again, but her phone is always turned off. I found it almost impossible for her to be off her phone all day, so she must have ripped the battery out to prevent me from trying to call again.
Now, I've given up and had to search for her everywhere. I've asked the other members where she probably disappeared to, but they haven't seen her at all today after she left the practice room. Then, I finally found Yuko and asked her if she knew.
Flashback
"Mm~ after dance lessons, she just disappeared from us. Maybe she went back to her apartment. I dunno... I'd check, though, JUST to make sure she didn't fly back to Shanghai yet."
"No time for jokes, Yuko!"
"No, I'm serious! She's been saying that she doesn't want to got to close to you, because she may hurt you..."
"Eh?"
"Yeah, I'm surprised it's not the other way around!"
"..Oh, damnit, Sae!"
End of FlashbackI ran as fast as I could and finally reached Sae and Yuko's apartment. I stopped at the door and waited to open it, trying to catch my breath. This is the only other place I know Sae could be. I have to talk to her and straighten things out.
However, when I opened the door, I saw something that shocked me to my core. Sae was holding a knife in her hand, ready to cut her wrist. Her blank expression and dark eyes staring straight at her untouched skin, cold tears running down her cheek.
"Sae, what are you doing?!"
I grabbed the knife and threw it to the ground. Her mouth slightly parted as she blankly stared at me with wide eyes.
Sae... Don't do this to yourself...End of Sayaka's POV
Sae's POVI looked down at the floor to the knife, away from her strong gaze.
"...Go away."
"Sae..." Her grip on my wrist tightened and she made me look up at her eyes. "Tell me the truth. Why are you trying to kill yourself?"
"...You obviously don't need me, Sayaka. Y-you're just saying all this stuff to try and make me feel better... It wouldn't matter..'cuz you're going to leave me anyways."
She bit her lip and hugged me.
Sayaka, let go of me!Why can't I say it out loud? I try to push her, but my hands don't cooperate.
"Sae, I'm so sorry if I hurt you! I won't hurt you ever again! I'll stay right here with you. ONLY you. I promise you, Sae! I LOVE YOU!!!"
I gritted my teeth and finally just..exploded.
"..I hate you.."
"Eh..?"
"...I HATE YOU!!!"
I pushed her hard and she flew to the wall. Her back pounded on the ground hard and she looked at me with weak eyes.
"Sae, I--"
"No! NO MORE!"
I punched her in the stomach, making her cough. I punched her again and again and she coughed up blood.
"Sae.. *Cough* *Cough* Sae, what are you..?"
"SHUT UP!!"
I punch her in the face. More and more time passed and her face was covered in bruises and scratches. Her mouth was cut a bit and blood was sliding out of her mouth.
"I hate you, Sayaka! I hate you! Hate you!!! HATE YOU!!!!"
"Sae... Stop..."
I'm punching her face... Beating her to a pulp... I can't control myself. My arms. My body. My tears. Why can't I stop? I hear Sayaka clearly, but I can't surpass my feelings anymore. Sayaka's just sitting there... Weak and bruised. Her lips are bleeding and she's coughing a lot.
"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"
The light in her eyes are slowly fading... I can't stop... I want to, but my body's rejecting me.
"You hurt me, Sayaka... This is all YOUR fault! YOUR FAULT, SAYAKA!!!"
"...Sa...e..."
"Why don't you just...!!!"
Wait...My dream... This is exactly like that dream... I was completely reliving my nightmare.
"What am I saying?"
My hand slowly dropped to the ground. I looked down and wiped the tears off my face. My nose sniffled a bit and my rubbed my eyes.
"Sayaka, I..."
I looked back up and Sayaka wasn't moving. She was hurt badly and her eyes were closed.
"Sayaka? Sayaka?!" I shook her, tried to wake her up, calling her name again and again. I scream louder and louder, longing for her to answer. "SAYAKA!!!"
But, she remained still and silent.
"No.... No. Nononononono! NO! Nononono..." I quickly carried her to the couch and kept slapping her cheek a bit, shaking her more, trying to wake her up. "Sayaka, please, PLEASE wake up. Please... Nonono, don't... Sayaka, wake up! Sayaka! ...Please..."
I have to help her, but how? I can't call Yuko or the other members. They'll ask me how it happened, and I can't just say I beat her up. I can't call the doctor or any hospital cause they'll do the same. If anyone finds out I did this, I'll be sent to jail.
But, still, I need to tell someone. I called Yuko on my home phone, because I had already ripped the batteries out from it. But, when she answered, I told her I called by accident and hung up.
I slowly walked back over to Sayaka and tried to call to her again.
"Sayaka... Can you hear me? Please, say something, Sayaka... Please... Open your eyes..."
My tears fell on her bloody cheeks and she didn't even flinch as I slowly picked her up and hugged her. But, what broke my heart the most was that her body as so cold. She didn't have a pulse and was no longer breathing.
"Sayaka, don't die... Please, don't leave me! Sayaka, please, wake up!! SAYAKA!!!"
I broke down crying, holding her in my arms. I created a tragic fate. I killed Sayaka...with my own bare hands...
To Be Continued
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