im starting to wonder if i should shorten my subject title lol anywho~
Handwritten Feelings
A soft sigh escaped Ai’s lips as she typed the last few sentences of a recent blog post on her laptop. She skimmed it over a few times, and sent it to her manager to make sure it was okay to post before closing the tab and opening another to look at some possibly new accessories to add to her never-ending closet. The boredom of browsing eventually got to her as she looked around the hospital room that would somewhat be her home for the next week or two.
It had only been a few days since she had the vocal cord nodules surgery, and even though she was supposed to take a break, she just felt extremely restless. This resting was totally different from her usual breaks if she was sick or had a sprain. At least during those times she could voice out her opinions to herself her sister, or whoever was in hearing distance, but now it was totally different.
She looked over to the small heart shaped white board that was given to her as a gift by her girlfriend and felt a small smile creep up on her face remembering when she got it a few days before her surgery. It was cute seeing the bean’s expression change from being shy about the gift; to being slightly mad at her for poking fun about it being heart shaped. If it was up to her, Ai wouldn’t mind looking at her lovers face all day. Plus she hadn’t seen that cute face in what felt centuries. With the bean being busy with work, and her own personal things, she hadn’t seen Ai since the surgery, unless it was through the small screen of their iphones. The older girl was missing her bad, and pixilated images could only do so much after all.
If only this vocal cord nodule didn’t happen, she could probably be off snuggling with her lover, or maybe eating out somewhere…in short, she just wished that her lovesickness for the bean would never go away. She looked through old pictures of the two of them on her phone. Some were 2 or even 3 years old, while others were as recent as a few weeks ago; just seeing that cute loving smile alone made Ai weak. It made her wonder just how she could have such a pretty being like Risa.
Even now she felt like her heart would give out from the love she had for Risa. The bean could do the simplest things and she just couldn’t take it. She loved how the bean dotted after her when she acted careless (which were many times) as well as when Risa had her own spoiled moments.
Another small sigh came out as she reached for the board, and marker. She hadn’t really used it yet, since she either nodded to the doctors and nurses, or used her phone or laptop to answer her manager or friends and family. She looked up to the ceiling for a brief moment, trying to think of what to draw on it, when her phone’s text chime suddenly went off.
“Nee~ How are you feeling today? I’m coming over to visit you in a bit~!”It was Risa! Ai’s smile grew wide as she eagerly replied back to the text.
” I’m ok. I can’t wait to see you!”The monkey didn’t have to wait long until she heard the sound of a soft knock on her door and the bean’s voice mumbling her entrance. She felt her heart race with every step until the bean came up to her bed and affectionately called her name.
“Ai-chan~!”
Ai grinned at her as she scooted in her bed a bit to give the bean some space to sit, and stretched out her hands as if asking for a hug, which she received instantly. The bean gently patted her head as Ai hugged her a little tighter, not wanting to let her go. They stayed like this for a while; both being thankful that words went really needed for a moment like this. Ai closed her eyes, feeling glad that she got to touch her lover again. Even if this was selfish, she just wanted to hide Risa in her embrace like this, and look at just her for all eternity.
The couple parted, and Risa lovingly ruffled Ai’s bangs and giggled when the older girl scrunched up her face in slight disapproval of the action.
“Your hair’s a mess Ai-chan…did you even bother to brush it today?”
Ai nodded her head as the bean tried her best to detangle some of her messy locks with her fingers. It gave her a chance to look at the bean who was wearing her fake oversized brown glasses with a blue buttoned top that was tied and tucked in at the bottom, along with white lace shorts that showed off her slim legs. Ai looked back up to Risa’s face and smiled as the bean finished her little hand brushing and placed both of her hands on her lap. She looked back down as she looked for her marker and started writing onto the mini white board, turning it over to show the bean when she was finished.
“I’ve missed you.”“Me too…sorry it took me so long to come see you…”
”It’s alright, what matters is that you’re here now right?”“Right.”
The bean smiled as Ai gave her a nod, and turned the board over to erase and write something else down. It was kind of weird for her to watch Ai write down her thoughts face to face like this, but at the same time it was kind of cute seeing her try to write her feelings down fast enough before she forgot them. They talked about various things for a while, even joked a little, though the bean made sure it was just enough for Ai to smile at, since laughing and even coughing was against her doctor’s orders.
“You look really cute today.”“Do I? Well…I did want to look cute for you today…”
”Gaki-san always looks cute no matter what she wears.”Risa felt her cheeks heat up as she gently patted her girlfriend’s thigh as she instantly disagreed with Ai, who in reply just moved the white board back and forth to emphasize her point. She then erased it and wrote another response.
“You’re more beautiful to me than you know Risa“I know…you say that all the time…and you’re the same way Aichan…”
The two looked at each other and slowly leaned in for a kiss, when the bean suddenly stopped and kissed Ai’s forehead instead. The older girl looked at her in slight confusion, and then down at her board to scribble down why the bean suddenly did that.
“Because, didn’t the doctor say no extreme stuff?”
Ai nodded.
“Well, as much as I want to kiss you on the lips, I know it would just lead to something more...and we can’t do that until you’re fully healed….”
Ai’s look of confusion, suddenly turned into a frown as she, erased and wrote another sentence.
”But I wasn’t going to give you a deep kiss or anything like that~!”“I know but you always say that Ai-chan, and it never ends up being just a quick kiss…I’m just looking out for you, alright?”
The monkey gave her a small nod, as the frown was still plastered on her face. 4 weeks without even giving her girlfriend a full deep kiss on those cute plush lips…and then some, was going to be a hard task, but Ai knew she had to it. She slowly erased the white board again as she felt the bean softly pat her head.
“Don’t worry Ai-chan…I’ll be sure to make it up to you once you get better…but until then, just quick kisses on the cheek, ok?”
Ai gave her another nod as she looked up at her lover who warmly smiled back at her, and gave her another kiss on the cheek. The older girl softly smiled back and gave the bean her own kiss, and looked back down at her board to write.
“Only because Risa-chan is always looking out for me…”“Good.”
Risa brought her hand down and cupped Ai’s face gently rubbing her thumb on the older girl’s cheek. Ai smiled and closed her eyes as she scooted closer to the younger girl and loosely wrapped her arms around her waist. Risa scooted closer and wrapped her own arms around the shorter girl, letting her rest her head on her shoulder. The two sat like this for a while, feeling completely at ease.
After a while, Risa looked at the time on her watch and sighed. She had to leave soon for another play rehearsal, but she didn’t want to leave her girlfriend at the same time. Knowing that the bean had to get ready to leave, Ai separated herself from Risa and began to write on the board.
“You should head out soon, I don’t want you to be late.”“Un…”
The bean slowly got up as she stood up at stretched while Ai watched her. She wanted them to spend more time together as well, but she knew work had to come first for the time being. Risa slowly got her things together and looked over at her lover once she was ready to head out.
”You know, I really want to marry you one day.”Risa smiled as she stood with her. It wasn’t her fist time hearing (or rather reading) this from Ai. Whenever the two had to separate for a while, for some reason Ai said this line to her. She never fully understood the main reason why Ai would use it, next to the actual meaning, but it didn’t really matter to her, because she knew her lover meant every word of that line.
“I know…and me too…”
The bean gave Ai one more embrace and kiss on her cheek and forehead as she mumbled into the older girls shoulder:
“I love you Ai-chan…”
‘I love you too Risa…’“Make sure you get plenty of rest ok?”
Ai gave her a nod as Risa patted her head and separated from their hug. The bean said one more goodbye and reluctantly left the room. Feeling slightly lonely, Ai looked down at her mini board and slowly erased the writings and wrote a simple phrase on it she couldn’t wait to say again to the bean. After writing it, she took a picture of it on her phone and instantly sent it to her lover.
“I love you.”She knew that writing this phrase multiple times would never be enough to express her love to the bean, but maybe for now, until she can talk and sing to that lovely girl again, this heart shaped board would have to do for now.
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somewhat longish oneshot! and it only took me 5-6 hrs to write @~@ lol i got most of the idea from seeing how bored aichan must be just answering questions and uploading pics since she's on break, and its also from listening to some iu songs. a few days ago i was listening to the jph!p radio and 2 of her songs happened to come on one after the other, then i looked around some more, found another song my friend had told me about a while back and then looked in that mini album/single to find the song peach. ^^;
so for those of u who wanna hear the song/read the translation just click here
http://www.jpopasia.com/celebrity/iu/videos/peach::23662.html