Hi, this is my very first WMatsui fic. It was supposed to be only one single page (I had difficulties to write down what I had in mind on paper), but then a nice senpai motivated me to continue writing and even offered to proofread my fic. So here it is!
WMatsui is my ultimate pairing. I realised WMatsui shippers have been torn between staying on the ship or leaving it to find a new one, especially after Rena’s graduation. I wrote this fic with you-who-stay in mind.
(http://i63.tinypic.com/2m512ld.jpg)
PROLOGUE
It takes courage to confess to people you love, but it takes a greater amount of bravery to befriend someone who rejected you and stay by her side no matter what.
Matsui Jurina knew it very well when she just got rejected, and still asked the girl sitting next to her to continue their daily routine as if nothing happened.
“I understand.” That was the first thing Jurina said after hearing such painful truth coming from the girl she adored so much. Somehow, Jurina knew that would happen; she even kind of expected it. The girl told her about her past. When she confessed to the girl, she knew she only had 20% of chance. Now, it was over. Not that she regretted her choice to confess. She simply had to. She had to make it clear that she had feelings for her. Their time together was limited.
Jurina could feel the worry she was causing the other girl. When she didn’t say anything between her constant sobbing, Jurina knew she had to do something to lighten up the mood a bit. The café they had settled in for dinner was cosy and warm. The lounge music playing in the background was soothing and relaxing. But Jurina could hardly enjoy it, even less the girl who was now looking terribly guilty and sad. It was hard to tell who just got her heart broken. The situation was just too heavy for both of them.
As if she didn’t understand the implication of such rejection, Jurina told her almost casually. “Alright then. It’s already late. I will drive you home. I will pick you up tomorrow as usual.”
“Don’t you need time?” after a long pause the girl finally answered.
“Time for what?” Jurina now looked at the girl innocently. The girl couldn’t read her expression at all. It was Jurina who should be crying right now, not herself.
“I mean..,” the girl was hesitant. I have just rejected you and you still want us to be as close as before? She almost blurted out, until opting for a better choice of words, “...I think it’s best if we don't see each other for a wh-“
“Rena...” Jurina cut her off, chuckling a little, “We work at the same place. We will meet five times a week, eight hours a day. It’s impossible for us not to meet.”
When the girl didn’t seem convinced, Jurina added, “Let’s just forget what happened tonight, okay? Can we go back to the way we were before we entered this café?”
Impossible. Jurina could practically hear her brain saying. It was just wishful thinking. So when she got the short reply, “Okay,” she believed tonight was not that bad after all. They could just start over.
Chapter 11
It had been a week since Rena went back to work. She adjusted herself easily as she recognised many familiar faces. Jurina was also very helpful, giving her the necessary updates on their current project. Whether at home or at work, she never got tired of answering Rena’s questions, no matter how trivial they were.
There was only one question Jurina couldn’t answer.
It all started when Rena went on her laptop and found her Cloud account. Because of the accident, Rena’s phone had broken as well as its memory card. She now had a new phone, but she kept wondering how to retrieve its memory, until she saw the Cloud account. If only she remembered the password.
“Jurina, do you know the password of my Cloud account?”
“Uhmm… no. Maybe you can try your birthday?” suggested Jurina.
“I never put my birthday as my password.”
Nevertheless, Rena tried the combination of her birthday but failed. She asked for a new password but unfortunately she also updated the password of her private email. This Saturday night, Rena was still trying to figure out the password. She was lying on the bed, with the laptop resting on her lap. She tried countless of possible combinations of words and numbers, without any result. Rena was beginning to feel really hopeless.
In the background, Rena could hear the sound of cooking in the kitchen. Rena glanced up at the clock, knowing that Jurina was preparing dinner. Tonight, they decided to have rice curry. She was about to leave her laptop aside and join the younger girl in the kitchen when something suddenly occurred to her. She remembered that, in the past, she used to put the name of a person dear to her as her password. Maybe the pattern is still the same.
Rena looked at the blank password box on her Cloud account and began to type.
JURINA.
Password is invalid.
Rena sighed at the pop-up notification. She tried again.
MATSUIJURINA.
Invalid.
Maybe the password is the combination of our names, she thought.
JURIRENA.
The same pop-up notification appeared. Frustrated, Rena almost gave up until she remembered something. A name that she heard that morning at The Yamada’s.
WMATSUI.
She couldn’t believe her eyes when the account started proceeding. The password was correct! Without wasting time, Rena began to browse through the photos of her older phone. Starting from the recent folder, she looked at the very first pic.
It was the picture of a sleeping Jurina. So peaceful yet so cute. Rena checked the date: it was the morning right before the accident. She kept browsing; her pictures with Jurina were noticeable between hundreds of other pictures. There were not so many of them, but Rena loved how happy she looked every time Jurina was by her side.
The video folder was the next she explored. Rena clicked the most recent one showing Jurina in the frame. By Jurina’s pyjamas, Rena assumed the video was taken at the same time as the previous picture of the sleeping Jurina.
Jurina looked gorgeous, even with her messy short hair. She smiled so brightly – beaming with both eyes closed – but then looked puzzled when she opened her eyes and discovered Rena holding her phone.
“Wait, are you recording?”
Rena could hear her own laugh in the video.
“That’s not fair,” Jurina pouted.
“Well… I can see you did enjoy the kiss,” Rena teased.
Jurina was blushing and Rena couldn’t help but utter a light “awww”.
“I really like it when you blush like that. So adorable! I’m going to miss you, so please let me keep this cute video of you?”
Jurina pondered her options. She didn’t say anything.
“No? Okay, I will delete this video.” Rena sounded sad.
“No! Keep the video,” Jurina finally said, “But…”
“But?”
“Take a shower with me. Just for this morning.”
“No,” Rena giggled.
“Yes.” Jurina leaned closer and the video started to change direction. Now it showed the ceiling. It was as if Rena unconsciously put down her phone on the bed.
The ceiling was the last thing the video showed. Before the video finished, Rena could hear – almost inaudibly – her own voice saying yes.
Feelings began submerging her and tears rolled down her cheeks.
We were real.
Rena repeated those words to herself again and again, yet frustration washed over her as she couldn’t remember any of those sweet moments between them. Now, she was more than certain that her heart belonged to Jurina. Rena closed her laptop and left the bedroom, then walked towards the kitchen where the person she wanted to see the most was cooking dinner.
Noticing Rena’s presence from her peripheral vision, Jurina spoke up, “I was about to go to your room to ask whether you like to have potatoes in your curry or not.”
When she received no answer, Jurina turned around in her direction, only to see Rena crying.
“Rena, what happened?” Jurina got immediately worried.
“I’m sorry I can’t remember,” Rena sobbed.
“It’s okay,” Jurina reassured her, turning off the electric stove and drawing closer to Rena. Her heart ached to see a person so dear to her trying so hard to remember her past that it would bring tears to her eyes. Without warning, Jurina gathered Rena in her arms and hugged her tightly to comfort her.
“I saw our pictures and videos on my Cloud,” said Rena between sobs.
Jurina processed the information, now understanding what had triggered Rena’s tears.
“It’s okay,” Jurina gently repeated, while bringing Rena to the living room and taking a seat on the sofa.
“What should I do, Jurina? What if I never get my memories back? Our memories?”
Jurina was pained to witness her girlfriend’s despair. It was the first time she saw Rena have such a breakdown because of the accident. Rena always acted strong but tonight she looked so fragile and powerless.
“Rena, sweetheart, we can always make new memories,” Jurina cupped Rena’s chin tenderly.“While we can still work on remembering the old ones. What do you think?”
Rena nodded weakly.
“I’ll be at your side, Rena. You can count on me. I can’t promise that you’ll get your old memories back, but I’ll do my best to help you and to fill your future with new, happy memories.”
Rena was still in tears, but her tears of sadness progressively transformed into tears of joy and hope. She hugged back Jurina, feeling warm and safe in her arms. That night, Jurina knew wholeheartedly that Rena’s love was eventually hers. No more hesitation, no more doubts. Jurina knew she would keep her promise to Rena even if it took her a lifetime to take a journey to her memory.
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