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Author Topic: AKB Fanfics Contest 2015-EXIT POLL  (Read 82803 times)

Offline kuro808

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AKB Fanfics Contest 2015-EXIT POLL
« on: February 25, 2014, 08:54:03 PM »
Hello Writers,

I have been enjoying your company for about two months and being on this forum for over three years.  I always wanted to help out the forum with promotions and other good stuff but to do for which set of people.  As a fan fiction writer, I have seen many great submissions and I have commented on countless fics over the years.  I have also written pretty decent ones or to the many ones that makes no sense what so ever.

Anyways, I wanted to offer all writers contests to have a little competitive spirit within the group.  I know many here don't venture outside of this area and this is a way to promote a part of the forum where it has been our strength and an improving part of the experience for the forum.

Of course, there will be prizes for any contest if it deserves one.  However, not all are going to have physical prizes, most will be a chance to test out their skills among everyone.  I, kuro_808 aka kuro or kurorin based on who do know me, will be coordinating these contests.  To be fair, I will not take on a judge's role and it will be in the hands of the registered members to do the voting most if not all the time.

Participation is highly recommended as it will be also a learning experience for any writer to post it on such public places.  However, the Golden Rules apply in all cases and any entry can be denied at any point if it deems to break any of the set rules within the forum.  The moderators of this area (seigus and mode107) and I will clearly establish that there will be no rule breaking.  It also comes down to any claims that will be brought upon us if in protest of an entry.

So in short, we shall have fun doing this and try not to get at each other's throats.

-kuro_808 aka kuro


All entries shall be in English.  Romaji shall be used in a sense of dialogue.  Any other use or other languages are forbidden

All entries shall be PM’d to the organizer (kuro_808). Unless directed by contest rules.

The entries will be of anonymous source posted by the organizer or any related party to the contest i.e. Moderators

Rallying for votes is strictly prohibited, meaning participants cannot advertise and ask people to vote for their entries anywhere in cyberspace, e.g. Facebook, tumblr, private messages in Jphip, etc. If found out by the organizer or the mods, the entry will be disqualified.

All participants are considered to be registered members of the forum except for the moderators and the organizer (kuro_808)

Any entry will be limited to one unless specified so by the organizer

The deadline for all contests will be based on Hawaiian Standard Time (It is the best period!)

Golden rules apply in all cases unless established by the organizer to do so (Most likely we will won't have ANY perv contests)


This competition will involve prizes for the writer(s) that do participate and based on participation the prizes will vary in size or amount.  Once there is a set list of people, the amount of prize(s) will be announced.

The theme is to write a short story (3,000-7,000 words) with your favorite pairing.  However, I want to limit one person per favorite pairing so it be one a first come first served basis, so if you apply late, your favorite pairing may not be available.  Details at the bottom for signup.

The limitations is the rules for the fanfics forum so no sex and limit the gory violence.

When entries are delivered, I will need four things

1) A short summary of your story
2) Title of the story
3) Your proofreaders (PLEASE DO THIS)
4) What pairing(s) are being used with your main pairing in bold

You'll be disqualified if you do not follow these rules

Sign up period: March 1st- March 15th, 2014

PM me to sign up and you'll get a confirmation.   DO NOT SIGN UP IN THIS THREAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

Prizes will include gift certificate(s), a t-shirt, ETC

Contest Period: March 16th-April 30th, 2014

Anything after that will be disqualified and follow all rules said in the beginning part of this post.  Questions will be directed by PM, no questions shall be answered here.

Winners will be decided by ballot voting and thanks received for each entry.  The entries will be posted within two days after the deadline with a week given for voting.

Ballots shall be shaped for example:

1. Entry #2
2. Entry #4
3. Entry #7

Where 1 is given as the best and 3 is the third best

Only entry per slot so you have to enter the entry number with the placement IN THIS THREAD  Once the voting period is over, all votes and thanks will be tallied and results will be posted here promptly

I wish all good luck and let's make a garden with the flowers we possess here :jphip:
« Last Edit: September 10, 2015, 07:37:37 AM by kuro_808 »
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Offline kuro808

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Re: AKB Fanfics Contest 2014- SIGNUPS Updated 3/9/14 (PRIZES ANNOUNCED)
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2014, 01:03:23 AM »

1st Place is a $50 gift certificate from YESASIA and a shirt from milk-tee

2nd Place is a $50 gift certificate from YESASIA

3rd Place is a $20 gift certificate from YESASIA

All participants will get a pat on the back for participating

Good Luck to all and there is only six more days to sign up  :)
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Offline kuro808

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Re: AKB Fanfics Contest 2014- SIGNUPS Updated 3/9/14 (PRIZES ANNOUNCED)
« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2014, 07:52:23 AM »
So the deadline for entering has passed and those who have entered will make sure that the story and the four requirements are PM'd to me and not posted in this thread.


Thank you!!
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Offline kuro808

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Re: AKB Fanfics Contest 2014- SIGNUPS Updated 3/9/14 (PRIZES ANNOUNCED)
« Reply #3 on: April 28, 2014, 11:38:01 PM »
Just as a reminder....

If you have signed up, please turn your entry in by 11:59 P.M. HST (GMT -10)

No exceptions and no extension of the deadline
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Offline kuro808

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Entry #1

In a dark room, a silhoutte of a girl clad in white lab coat is typing on her laptop with lightning speed. The girl subsequently change her view from a laptop to another with a big screen of monitor in between showing blue background flashing animatedly with undecipherable codes. Wires were bundled up in a messy way, filling the floor in a jumble of colorful cables. The girl pause her action as she exhales tiredly before cracking the stiff muscles in her neck. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she decided it’s time to take a little break from her work.

She steadily stood up from the creaking chair, taking some steps towards a huge tube filled with bluish liquid of some sort. Inside, a figure floats in a comatose state with wires and lines of multiple colors attached all over her body. The huge tube was filled with bubbles constantly floating around her due to the water being exchange for the third time that day. The girl in white placed her pale long hand on the tube, exactly on top of the lifeless person's heart... with a remorse expression on her face, she muttered exhaustedly.

"Just a little bit more… and we’ll be able to meet again.”


“Can you give me the answer?”

The tall girl with long slick raven hair could only stand in embarrassment, her eyes looking down on her table. She could feel everyone’s eyes inside the classroom directed on her. She started to feel her breath shortening, her asthma attacks begins to fill her weak lungs.


“Am I talking to the wall, Kashiwagi-san?!”

The girl jumped on her spot, a little startled with the shout. She could only muster a small shake of her head. She can hear her teacher giving out an exasperated sigh with the deafening silence. And again, she could feel her classmates smirking at her in a mocking way. Suddenly, a husky voice sounded from the back.

“Y is 4.”

The attention began to change towards the back of class, focusing on the most unexpected person they would think would help the loser. The teacher scrunched her face with the intrusion.

“Excuse me?”

Rena just stared nonchalantly outside the window with a hand under her chin. Sensing everyone is looking at her, she took a glance towards her teacher.

“Oh, sorry. I was just talking to the window…” She replied with an innocent smirk. Everyone instantly look to the front, afraid to meet the eyes of the girl that was rumored to have beaten up some male seniors from a rival school. Yes, no mistake when they said male. The teacher, however, grits her teeth in annoyance before declaring in a calm voice.

“Matsui and Kashiwagi, detention after class.”


They both sat in silence inside the boring looking class. The evening sun shone half of the class in orange contrast, the other half shaded in black. Shouts of students running a drill outside echoed within the classroom, with male cicadas chirping in the background. Yuki sat straight on her chair with a book on her table. She tried to read, she did. But her brain could not process any words written on the white paper, especially with the presence of someone there. She turned her head to face the other girl by the window. Unlike her, Rena has her head buried in her arms on the table, probably taking a nap like she usually does in class.

Yuki knows her. Matsui Rena, the class prodigy that is well known in her school, but that’s not what people are saying though. Rumor has it that Rena is actually a yankee outside school, involving herself in some gangsters and dirty works. How the rumors turned like that, she wonders. But that’s not important. Even if Rena is a bad guy, Yuki still owes Rena for saving her from a major humiliation back then. Screw detention, a kind hearted girl like her must be optimistic when others had helped her.

A sudden movement from the other girl woke Yuki from her reveries. Rena is now facing her, both eyes are still closed. Yuki can’t help but to study her features. White complexion with a tiny mole on her left cheek, pony-tailed hair with half her bangs covering her left eye, faint thin eyebrows, short but cute nose and a pair of plump pinkish lips. From her observation, this girl is an angel. Too angelic to be a yankee, moreover to beat a guy.

“Am I that beautiful for you to stare like that?”

Yuki almost fell from her chair. She is not aware that Rena was awake after she turned her head. Rena flutters her eyes with a grin, amused with the sight in front of her. She had never watch a red beet Yuki before but now that she had, she can’t help but to feel fond of it.

“I… I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay. I’m quite used to it…”

Yuki had thought the last statement was of self-praising, but Rena had actually meant the other way. She noticed there was a glimpse of pain shown in Rena’s face but she push the assumption away, for now. She knows that look. She had seen that face countless of times in front of the mirror, but she decided to keep it to herself. Besides, she barely knows this girl even if they are classmates.

Rena stood up from her chair, stretching her arms to loosen up some muscles before leaning on the table behind her. She stared outside the window on a couple of students running around the field track probably for practice.

“Umm… thank you.”

“For what?”

“Earlier… for helping me…”

“I’m not. Just had to settle a score with Aya-sensei… You know how she likes to pick on people.”

“Ahh… well, she is a teacher…”

“That won’t do!”

“Eh? W-what?” Yuki almost screamed out of shock from Rena’s outburst.

“That thought of yours! Even if she’s a teacher, she shouldn’t have acted like that… taking advantages of people’s weaknesses, that’s bullying!”

“But still…”

“You know, Yuki… there are times where we can let them mock you, crush you, even kill you with their actions but everyone has their limits. Even you, Yuki. We have to eventually stand up to fight for what is right and what is wrong…”

Yuki was in awe with the wisdom words coming from the stranger who had just called her by her first name. Somehow, she felt comfortable talking with Rena. Being a shy and timid person, Yuki would usually shut herself from any conversation and only listened to her friends chatting from the side. She had always imagined there is an invisible barrier that separates her from others. But with Rena, there's no barrier. Even if they are strangers, she felt as if they have known each other long ago. It’s like there’s nothing separating them from each other. Nothing at all.

She can’t help but to think that Rena is actually a pretty cool person. With the orange sun illuminating Rena’s figure and her laidback attitude just made Yuki did a little bit of admiring in her mind.

“You… just called me Yuki…”

“I know... Can I call you Yuki?” Rena turns her head with a cheeky smile. Yuki was startled a bit. Did Rena just ask her that? She’s not planning to befriend her, right? Because if she is, then Yuki would be more than glad to be one.


“No? Oh, Oka-”

“Yukirin… call me Yukirin.”


“No… that’s wrong, Yukirin. You should do it like this…”

“But I did!”

“You forgot this formula here…”

They were both basking under a tree on the school’s backyard, with Rena trying to take a nap as usual. But that day, Yuki decided to change Rena’s former plan into something productive. She had stalked Rena to her favorite hiding spot and chose to ask her friend to be her tutor for the day. Yuki is not a dumb person, she’s just a bit slow in study and being friend with a prodigy had helped her a lot in class. Rena seemed like a lazy girl, but that’s just because she was always seen dozing off in class. Everyone was curious on how did the girl managed to gain first place in her examinations but now no one pays any heed, which includes their teachers. Somehow, they could only see Rena as a troublemaker in their eyes.

After finishing with her work, they both laid down on the green grass, enjoying the blue sky and cool breeze. Yuki decided to ask Rena some questions just to fill in the silence.

“Hey, Rena… why are you always sleeping around?”

“Because I haven’t had enough sleep.”


“Personal things…”

“Oh…” Yuki decided not to probe anymore and instead changed the subject. “How can you aced in class if all you do is sleep?”

Rena chuckles lightly with the question. With closed eyes, she put a hand behind her head for support.

“I don’t sleep all the time, Yukirin…”

“... Really?”


“You always sleep, Rena.”

“No, I’m not…”

“Yes, you are~”


“Oh, tell me what did you do when you always had your head buried in your arms? Sleeping, of course!”

Rena sent a judging stare with a teasing smile, “You’re watching me…”


“Don’t tell me you have a crush on this lazy but pretty girl?”

Yuki blinked her eyes a couple of times before realization hit her hard. Her cheeks flushed red in embarrassment with Rena rolling around the grass laughing from her friend’s reaction.

“Are you serious, Yukirin?”

“Shut up!” Yuki slapped the girl’s arm to stop the teasing and laughing. Rena’s laugh calm downed a bit, only giggles could be heard.

“You’re cute, Yukirin.” Yuki could feel her heart swell from the praise but what Rena said afterwards makes her heart throbed in bliss, “I wouldn’t mind being watched every day by a beautiful person like you.”


A man of forty sat on his wheelchair, staring outside the window of his bedroom. A black sedan screeched to a stop in front of his mansion. The driver stepped out from the car followed by a girl in a school uniform. The old man watches as the guards bowed down before her daughter as she walks in a graceful manner towards the door, disappearing from his view. He tapped his fingers on the shiny surface of his cane handle, waiting for his daughter’s arrival.

As in cue, the door opened revealing a tall girl with long black hair. She stepped into the room and stood by his father’s side before bowing slightly.

“I’m back, papa.”

“You’re late.”

“I’m sorry, papa. I was having a group discussion.”

 “About time you take your studies seriously.”

“Yes, papa…”

“Next time, inform me if you’re staying late at school. You may leave, Yuki.”

“Yes…” the atmosphere around them was dry. It was suffocating for Yuki to be there inside the room and how relieved she was for being excused quite early today. Usually, her father would question her days to no end, interrogating her every action in school. Today is a bit odd but she’s glad he’s not that attentive like always. Maybe he’s a little bit tired from work. She took a bow before turning around to escape from the dark square of his father’s room. Before she reaches the door, her father called her.

“Yuki, don’t wait for me for dinner. I have things to settle right now and I don’t want any disturbance while I’m working.”

“Sure, papa.” Yuki knows what her father meant by that and she is to follow whatever his father ordered her. No objections, no questions. Sometimes, she wondered if her father had actually loved her like how her late mother used to when she’s alive. Everything was turned upside down since her mother left them 5 years ago. She prayed every day that his father would at least spend time just to chat around and have a normal family-like dinner together, but all he ever talked was about school and work. Nothing more. With a sigh, Yuki makes her way to her own room.

As the door of his room closed, he switched on the table lamp. In front of him is a folder with sheets of papers scattered all over the table. He opened one of the drawers and pulled out a black folder. The content showed a different profile but the picture clipped on the page matches the one on his table. He took the paper on his table on compared with the file he’s holding. Both girls are of the same face but with different descriptions and clothes. He had never imagined this girl, a professor, could disguised herself as a high school student, even more being in the same school with his daughter. A devilish smile appeared on his face as he rubbed his scruffy chin.

“I’ll make you pay for everything…”


“Yukirin, are you free right now?”

“No, we have class right now, Rena-chan… why?”

Rena smiled cheekily as she reached for her partner-in-crime’s hand, pulling her closer as she whispered into her ear, “Let’s ditch school.”

Yuki was taken aback and almost scream out of shock, “W-what?!”

“Shhh! Calm your nerves, Reaction Queen… Come on, it’s just once in a lifetime!”

Yuki squint her eyes with the way Rena is pleading her, they way she pouts and desperately pulling on her arm… There’s no way she could reject that cute face.

“Fine, fine… But if we get into trouble, I’ll put the blame on you!”

“We won’t! I cross my heart!” Rena stood up straight with her hand gesturing a cross mark on her chest. The action caused Yuki to stifle a laugh, afraid if their interaction would cause a commotion between their classmates even if they never cared a thing about these humans called Matsui Rena and Kashiwagi Yuki.

“Let’s go!”


Rena and Yuki were sitting on a bench of a park after stopping by a vendor street selling mini melon pans. Rena unwrapped the paper bag, inhaling the scent wafted from the sweet melon pan. Yuki watch from the side in amusement. She had never seen this side of Rena before. She knows Rena is an avid fan of melon pan, but her reaction just now was incredibly out of the calm and cool Rena character. As soon as she spotted the street vendor, the girl was jumping like a little girl that had just seen a candy store. Before Yuki could react, Rena had literally dragged her to the shop, pushing everyone in front before yelling “Obaa-san!!! A dozen of the special mini melon pan!” like a high-spirited kid.

“Here! Eat it while it’s hot!” Rena offered one of the good smelling buns to Yuki. The scent of the baked goods was really tempting her senses. Yuki can feel her mouth salivate as she looked at the steamy bun. She took a bite of the fresh bun, savoring the sweet taste with her tongue.

“MMMM! This is good!”

“Isn’t it? The crunchiness of the crust…”

“The softness of the bun…”

“THE BEST!” they both exclaimed loudly while laughing at each other. They were indulging the melon pan in silence when Rena decided to speak.

“You know what, Yukirin?”


“This… feels like a date.”

Yuki choked on a piece of bun, coughing uncontrollably with Rena looking at her with a teasing grin. She opened a can of juice they had bought earlier and offered it to Yuki. The latter gulped the juice frantically; trying to swallow whatever that got stuck on her throat. But it feels like something is still there on her chest, a feeling of fuzziness. She pounded her chest, trying to calm her heart from Rena’s statement.

“Do you have to tease me like that?” Yuki frowned at Rena but the latter merely shrugged her shoulder before reaching out for the juice.

“It’s true, though… I mean both of us are in the park, sitting on the same bench, eating melon pans together while sharing a can of juice…” Rena took a sip from the same can Yuki had drunk.

“Oh! We just had an indirect kiss too!” Rena wore a big smile as she look at the flustered Yuki. The latter turned her head away from Rena as she tried to hide her heated face from her friend. Her hand clutched on her chest as she tried to stop her heart from beating erratically.

“This is too much…” Rena could hear Yuki mumbled those words. She could feel guilt struck her instantly. This girl is too innocent. She shouldn’t have teased her like this.

“I’m sorry…” Rena scooted closer, pushing Yuki’s hair behind her ear to uncover the flustered girl’s face. She reached for Yuki’s chin, pulling her face to directly look into the latter’s eyes. Yuki’s eyes were glistening, trying to hold the tears from flowing.

“Why are you crying?”

“It’s nothing…”


“Heh, we meet again, girl…” Out of nowhere, an unknown voice interrupted their moment. A few ragged looking men stopped in front of them with someone who looked like their leader towering over Rena.

“Tch. You again…” Rena stood up followed by Yuki who cowered behind her. The men leered on the girl hiding behind their target. One of them whispered as he recognized Yuki.

“Hey, dude… looks like the president’s daughter, isn’t she?”

“I think so…”

Rena lean closer to them, stomping her foot to try to intimidate them, “What are you guys talking about? Care sharing with me?”

“N-nothing… Look, we’re not looking for trouble. Just passing by the park. Public’s property, eh?”

“Sure…” Rena keeps her tough front as she glared on them one by one, but it seemed like they were really not there to pester her. There’s uncertainty on their face as they glanced on the person hiding behind Rena's back. Throwing a last look, they scurried away from the scene, leaving a dumbfounded Rena and a trembling Yuki by the bench.

“Who… were they?”

Rena knows them; she had encountered some of them before. Someone had hired this bunch of hooligans to mess with her life everyday. She can handle them for sure but their number increased day by day and it’s bothering Rena to no end. Someone is on her tail and this means bad business. She had a clue of who is the mastermind but for now, she would let it slide. She wouldn't want to let her friend worry.

“No one… just a bunch of stupid goons doing their usual things…”


“Sir, we have a report from one of the boys.”

“What is it?”

“It seems like your daughter is close with her.”


“They’ve seen both of them together in a park.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive, sir. Here’s the proof.” The man in suit pulled out an envelope from his blazer. The old man took the envelope and pulled out the content, revealing pictures of his daughter with the one that had caused him all the misery in the world. He gritted his teeth, slamming his fist on the table. She’s planning something and he’s about to stop her from getting on his way. He must stop her for good.


Rena exited a convenience store with a bottle of water on her hand. She unscrewed the cap, downing half the content in one gulp. She took steady steps down the dark road, sometimes glancing down her shoulder as she examined the shadows formed on the pavement. There were at least three people trailing behind her and she knew they are up for nothing good. She deliberately let go of the bottle on the ground, acting as if she had accidently lose grip of it. She bent down to pick it up, before throwing a glimpse on her back stealthily. In a swift movement, Rena threw the bottle with all her might to the nearest target, hitting him square on his forehead, knocking him out for good. She quickly turned around before sprinting away from the thugs.

The men were hot on her trails as she reached to a dead end. Rena calmly stood in the shadow, waiting for the men to slipped by her hiding spot. She let the first one run passed her before grabbing the other by his neck, choking him with her arm with the inertia of his speed. She swiftly pulled him down to the ground, slamming his back hard on the cold surface. The man writhed in pain as he thrashed around on the floor. Rena took out an expandable baton from her belt, jerking the steel to expand it before knocking him out for good.

However, the other man had turned back after hearing the commotion. He sent a flying kick on Rena’s direction. Caught in surprise, Rena blocked the kick with her arms but the force was too strong, she was thrown back to the floor. The man wasted no time as he continued slamming his foot directly to the girl’s face. But his attempt was futile as Rena quickly avoided his foot. She rolled over while getting on her feet as fast as she can. The man wore a sickening grin, keeping his intimidating eyes on Rena. He thrust forward, throwing a high-speed punch aiming for Rena’s face. The girl dodged her head to the side, barely missing the hit but her opponent had read her action and raised his knee directly onto her gut.

Rena quickly recovered her stance, spitting some blood forming in her throat. She dashed forward for a round kick. She managed to hit him but the man countered her assault by capturing her leg with his bare arms, slamming her hard on the ground. Rena struggled to get up but the man had his foot on her back, preventing her from moving around. This man is something else. She had never encountered someone that can fight as well as him. This means he is starting to get serious. Rena closed her eyes as she felt the cold tar grazing her pale cheek.

“Hey, hey... don’t passed out on me now. I didn’t hit you that hard…” the man removed his foot before squatting above Rena’s head, turning her around in the process. He slapped Rena’s cheek a couple of times just to make sure she is still conscious.

“You sure know how to fight. Got me bruised here and there…”

Rena laid still, ignoring the man with her eyes staring blankly on the starry night sky. Somehow, she knows he won’t end her life tonight. Besides, he needs something from her and he will do it with his own hands, for sure.

“The president got some message for you… You know this girl?” he took out a picture of a girl. Rena squint her eyes, trying to make out the blurry face in the dark alley but after taking a good look at the picture, her eyes widen.

“Yeah, he knows both of you are friends. Tell you what… why don’t you stay away from her? That way, no one will get hurt.”

Rena gulped as she tried to process everything.

“You don’t want your friend here knows who killed her mother… aye?” the man swayed the picture on Rena’s face, his action making her angered as if mocking her defenseless state at the moment. She can’t think of anything except to follow his orders, for now. Rena closed her eyes before nodding her head numbly.

“Now that’s a good girl… Oh! One more thing. He wants to meet you this Saturday…”

‘This Saturday? But that’s Yuki’s birthday…’

“Be sure to be there or else… you know what will happen.” The man stood up, throwing the picture on Rena’s face before walking away from the scene. Rena heeds no intention of moving or getting up from the spot. She puts a hand on her forehead, thinking of a way to get out from this mess. Her mind is cluttered with so many things; she barely got any solution out of this trouble. But there’s one thing she should do right away; fulfilling her promise to her late mentor and partner.


Yuki skipped her way to her seat as she arrived a bit early than normal. She looked around the empty classroom before sitting down on her chair. Just as she was about to took out her books, the door slammed open. Yuki instantly smiled with a hand greeting her friend but her action halted as she looked at Rena’s face. The latter had a bruise on her lower lip and a square bandage on her cheek. She quickly jumped off her seat to interrogate her friend.

“Rena-chan, what happened? Did you get into a fight? Who did this to you?” Rena ignored her friend’s queries and continued making her way to her chair. She slumped down on the hard surface, right hand supporting her chin as she gave out a bright smile to Yuki.

“Good morning to you too, Yukirin! It’s a nice day today, isn’t it?”

“Rena! Answer me!”

“Oh geez… I fell down the stairs. You know how clumsy I am…” Yuki knew Rena was lying, not after she caught her friend’s left hand that was hidden under the table were full of blisters and plastered on certain places. She tried asking more but the latter had beaten her to it.

“Hey, Yukirin… Can you meet me at the rooftop after school? I need to give you something…”

“Eh? Can’t you just give it now?”

“NO! This is something special and I need a romantic place for it.”

“And our school rooftop is a romantic place? Geez… I can never understand your taste…”

“Hey! I’m on a tight budget right now!”

“Yeah, right…” they shared a laugh before returning back on their seats as the class was starting to be filled with other students arriving. Rena heaved a deep breath as she clutched the blue box in her hand. She knows today is the last they would see of each other and she doesn’t want to regret anything after this. She won’t repeat the same mistake twice. She will make this right.


The handle of the rusty rooftop door twisted, the door hinge giving off a weird creaking sound as Yuki opened it from inside. The breeze blew her hair in a gentle wave as she walked to the railing. She enjoys the soothing wind caressing her face as she waits for Rena. Suddenly, her view turned black. Yuki almost let out a scream but recognizing the warmth emitted from the familiar hand, she smiled instead.

“Guess who?”


“What? Who’s that?”

“My secret lover.”

“Uh-huh… and she’s a monster who likes to eat spicy food.” Yuki lets out a warm giggle from Rena’s witty comment. The latter stood by her side with a serene face as she watched the view of the school.

“Wow… this place is better than that old tree.”

“Don’t tell me you’re going to change your hiding spot here?”

“Hmmm… I doubt that…”

“Eh?” Yuki was confused with Rena’s reply but the latter feigned ignorance with Yuki’s reaction. Instead, she turned to face Yuki with her hands hiding something on her back. Her face had that same cheeky smile as she stepped closer towards Yuki.

“I’ve got something for you, but I need something else in return...”

“Hmm? What?”

“This.” Rena closed their distance as she tilts her head towards Yuki’s left cheek, pressing her lips on the soft surface. Her lips lingered for a second before she pulled away. Yuki blushed heavily from the unexpected act, her eyes as wide as a saucer while her hand unconsciously touched the spot. This is the first time Rena had done an intimate action to her, not counting all the flirting and teasing she had done before. And boy, her heart was beating erratically like she had run a full lap around the track field.

Rena was actually quite nervous too despite her cool demeanor. She could feel her pulse beating abnormally fast but she pushed them aside for now. She reached out her hands, holding a blue box with a yellow ribbon tied around it.

“Advance Happy Birthday, Yukirin!”

“Eh? What… How… How did you know?”

“I have my ways.”

Rena grinned anxiously as she handed the box to Yuki who accepted the present with clammy hands. In all her life, this was the first time Yuki had ever received a present from a friend. Sure, her father always gave her one every year but this one is more precious than anything she had ever received before. Yuki grasped the present tightly, her head dipped low. Now, Rena is scared. Was her timing bad? Did Yuki hate the present? What if the box was too small for Yuki’s liking? However, her uncertainty flew away as Yuki flung herself into Rena’s arms. Rena was startled, not by the hug but by the sobbing coming from her friend. She soon wrapped her arms around the taller girl with a hand rubbing her back to ease her crying.

Rena whispered sweet nothings to her friend, trying to calm her down. She pulled away as Yuki stopped weeping. She brushed Yuki’s bangs away from her eyes while wiping the tears flowing down her red cheeks. But what she did next was out of the ordinary. Rena pinched both Yuki’s cheek, making the latter squirmed from pain and annoyance.

“These cheeks are so soooft~!”

“HEY!” Yuki punched Rena’s arm repeatedly, giggling with the unexpected action Rena had just done.

“Now that’s better. A smiling Yukirin is a pretty Yukirin.” Rena said the words sincerely with childish voice, resulting in Yuki laughing in an endless fit.

“You sure know how to flatter me.”

“Of course! I’m the best buddy you’ve ever met.” They both smiled while sharing a loving stare with each other. Rena grasped Yuki’s hand, her eyes showing a glimpse of sadness.

“Promise me, Yukirin… you’ll never stop smiling from now on.” Yuki could feel there was something odd with Rena. The way she said that was like they won't be seeing each other again. However, she pushed the thoughts away, wearing a lovely smile on her face.

“I promise.”


Today is Saturday. Today is Yuki’s birthday. And today is the time Rena will soon meet her fate, alive or dead. She sat on the ledge of the bridge, her legs swaying around without a care in the world. The traffic wheezing through the bridge had drowned all her feelings and emotions. Now, she just had to wait for them. For him, the man who had been hunting her until now.

A screeching sound woke her from her daydream. Four sedans pulled up on the street just behind her, with steps of people running reverberated on the hard asphalt ground. She took a deep breath before getting up on her feet. Glancing back on the groups of people in suits surrounding her, she memorized the total count of opponents she’s about to face. Taking out her guns from the belt, she prepared herself for the fight of her life. She muttered a small prayer, directed to her friend and her late mother, who was once Rena’s mentor. She turned around, facing the men with menacing eyes before letting out a creepy laugh.

“Hey... you mad?”


“Yuki, I have some work right now. Your present is in my room.”

“Oh… sure, papa.”


“Yes, papa?”

“Happy birthday, dear…”

“Thank you, papa.”

Yuki bowed her head as she waited for her father to disappear behind the door. As soon as the door slammed shut, she made her way to her father’s room. She turned on the light switch and neared his father’s table.

“Now, where is it…”

Yuki was about to opened the drawer when she accidentally knocked over the folders stacked neatly on her father’s table.


Yuki quickly picked up the folders but halted when a name caught her attention.


Feeling curious with the content, she opened the folder. What she found inside had almost made her faint. The picture was of a brown haired woman in white lab coat named Matsui Rena. She continues reading her profile and the revelation makes her stupefied.

Matsui Rena, young mentor of Kashiwagi Haru.
A child prodigy. Was recruited at early age of 10.
Worked together for a thesis about life regeneration but stopped halfway due to a tragedy.
Matsui Rena was suspected to be the cause of Kashiwagi Haru’s death.

Yuki couldn’t believe her eyes. She hastily opened another folder, showing a picture of her friend, Rena in her school uniform. She brought the two pictures together and make out the resemblance. Positive. They are both the same person, only with a different hair color. Yuki couldn’t help her tears from flowing down. She had to confront her father about this. She must know the truth. Then she remembered Rena’s gift. She abruptly sprinted to her room, slamming the door open. Reaching for the bag, she hastily threw everything out before her eyes caught the blue box. She opened the box and found a letter with a pendrive inside. She rips the envelope carelessly, not caring if she would tear the content. She read the letter with shaky hands and shallow breathing.

My dear lovely Yukirin,

Happy Birthday! Okay that was plain normal hahaha… I was hoping I could celebrate your birthday in a more proper way but I don’t know if I would still be available after today. It’s ironic how your birthday might be the deathday of mine. I’m sorry if that’s not funny… I wish you could remember your birthday as the happiest day of your life, but now I doubt it.

There’s another thing I want to tell you. Truthfully, I’ve been keeping so many secrets from you, Yukirin. We’ve met before when we were still a kid. I don't think you recognized me though. I remembered you as the cheerful kid who always had a laugh on her face, even if you were sad or hurt. I was envious of you. Yukirin, the girl who have the perfect family, having the perfect life. On the other hand, I had to sacrifice my time with my family just for the sake of being labelled as a child prodigy. Actually, I’ve lost the memory of how I met you but that’s okay. At least I can treasure the day when we first became friends.

Now, for the suprising part. I was a recruit for a national security agency during my childhood. I was trained to do research, spy on people, fight and combat and even killing enemies. But my specialty is research. That’s how I met your mother. Haru-san was actually my mentor during my high school years. We’ve been doing a research about cells regeneration and restoration. The results was amazing! We had successfully revived a few animals including a dead orang utan. But our long time research had finally taken a toll on us. Your mother, Haru-san was suddenly having some sort of inner turmoil. She started to seclude herself from everyone else, doing all the work alone. Sometimes she would mumble by herself, sometimes lashing out at everyone. It’s pretty horrifying for us, for me. She was like a mother figure to me, Yukirin. I tried to help her, staying beside her to watch and keep her calm and composed. But my strength alone can’t help the depressed Haru-san.

One day, I was late for work when hell breaks loose. Haru-san had gone berserk and destroyed everything in our lab. Thankfully I was there on time but the damage done was terrible. Everything was literally destroyed. But then she started attacking me, trying to choke the life out of me. Out of self-defence, I grabbed the nearest thing I could reach and push her with it. My mistake was that I didn’t check what I was holding. A shard of broken glass had punctured through her heart. I was breathless. Everything was happening too fast.

But one thing was etched in my memories of your mother. It was her smile, Yukirin. The relieved smile she gave to me before her last breath. It was as if she was free from all the sorrow and pain she had endured all this while. And that’s what been keeping me alive until now. There’s a pendrive that contains all the research studies and findings. If you look through the folders carefully, there are hidden videos of Haru-san. You should watch them. I’m entrusting this to you because I know I can count on you to use this for a good cause.

Lastly, I hope we can still be friends, even if I’m no longer alive. I once vowed in front of Haru-san’s grave to protect you, to make you smile again, to make you feel loved again but there's a quote saying every promise was made to be broken. Remember, I’m always inside your heart, beating the same rhythm we had once breath. Thanks for becoming my friend all this while. Don’t forget your promise, okay? If not, I’m gonna haunt you every night in your dreams! I love you, Yukirin… always have. I hope we can meet again…

Matsui Rena,
Your cute pretty lovely friends forever...


A single lone tear drops down her pale cheek. She could have prevented it. She should. But cowardice and resentment will always be a part of her life. However, right now, she must change it. Just like what Rena had told her the first day they are officially friends. Fate will never get its way with her life and so does her father. Whatever happens, she will definitely make her dream come true.

"Prof, we've found some interesting results! The test was a match!"

The intercom sounded from her end with a male voice on the other. Yuki's eyes twinkled as she heard the announcement. 'If the test is successful, then...' A smirk found its way on face. Her thoughts are filled with only one thing at the moment; she can meet Rena soon. Yuki caressed the glass in a loving manner, the vibration giving off some warmth to her hand. Then, she widens her arms before embracing the tube, rubbing her left cheek on the cold surface as if it is a soft skin of her friend.

"I missed you, Rena..."

Unbeknowest to the professor, the figure's hand inside the glass twitched for a second in a jerking movement, as if replying Yuki’s longing of wanting to see her one more time.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2014, 12:33:56 PM by kuro_808 »
Random Thought:


R.I.P. Jab!  Dad/friend

Offline kuro808

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Entry #2

The wind was whispering loudly in her ear, everything around her was moving upward rapidly, the ground beneath her was rushing up to meet her. Rena consciousness was slipping away. Other than those clouds that abandoned her, a black spot was drawing near. It zoomed bigger and bigger, a figure that she knew. Jurina came into her thought 
The wound on her stomach was draining her life while the free falling was going to offer her a clean death in time, soon. Something sharp was penetrated through her stomach. Rena outstretched her hand to the incoming figure, hoping that she can hold her closely for one last time. Rena knew their love was forbidden, they bended the law of nature, they disobeyed it.
“Just one last time” the wind brought away her whispered. Her vision faded, her sky darkened and her eyelids came down like a dark curtain to bring away the light of her world.

30 Days earlier

“Your highness” a female knight came through the crowd “We have prevail under your lead. The city is ours now”.

Matsui Jurina, the princess of Scardin, also known as sky people in the tongue of mortal. Scardin was a city in sky. There lived a race call Scardian. They possessed superhuman strength and a pair of angel wings which allows them to fly. A Scardian can live up to thousand years if it didn’t get killed. In their body, there is spell flowing in their blood, granting them the ability to create.

“I would like to see how those captives entrance me. Keep them feeding, I want them alive. We will see how those weaklings crawl under our leg like a dog” Jurina demanded “We will have our victory feast tonight. You will come too Mariko”.

The night had fallen; those Scardians were having their feast and wine. Soldiers were drinking their wines, tearing the flesh, dancing and singing in the night.

The princess filled her glass with wines, over and over. Jurina was pleased of their continuous victory.

“Your highness” Mariko stood beside her “You shouldn’t drink so much”.

“Mariko, you should go get some wine for yourself” the princess noticed her knight didn’t take any wine or food “It is the best invention of mortal. Now, go seek whatever pleases you. You brought me the victory and you deserve this”.

Finally she noticed my existence. ~Mariko.

“The only thing that please me is serving you, your highness” the knight glance at the half left wine flask “The mortal product makes you weak. I beg you to stop”.

“I can see your loyalty to king in your eyes. He will know about your contribution once we get back” Jurina filled her glass again “Look. Every guard and knight were enjoying their victory out there, go join them”.

Not to the king, is you. I wish you will understand me one day. ~Mariko.

“Not until you stop poisoning yourself. I pledge you!” Mariko peered through the entrance of camp to the outside then back to Jurina “You should listen to me”. 

”Enough! You are just a dog of my father! Are you trying to command me? I want hear no more words from you!” the princess positioned herself on the chair and glared at her fiercest knight “Now! Get out of my sight! I need a silent moment for my mind and the wine!”.

“Yes, Your highness” Mariko’s face was emotionless when she left. She headed to a big tree behind the camp. Mariko sat down and leaned her back against the tree. The best knight in the war was now hugging her knees, crying under the witnessed of the moon.

Jurina, what I try to do is for your own good. I didn’t work for anyone, even the king; but you. I never thought I am just a dog in your eyes. ~Mariko.

26 Days earlier

The princess lay lazily on her chair in her silver armour.

“I wonder if there is something fun down here, mortal.” Jurina said with disdain “If it please me, I will free you, with gold coins”.  She gestured her hand and gold coins magically appeared in her hand. The princess flipped her hand; gold coins fell heavily onto the soil. 

“Ye-yes, game call chess” the man hand bounded behind, knelt in front of the princess. He wanted both, freedom and gold.

“Ohhh...interesting, explain more” Jurina leaned forward. It seems to amuse her.

“Chess is a game for noble and wise” the man obeyed “It is a simulation of battlefield for people to compete against each other, the side that took out the other’s king will win and...”

“Are you fooling me with?” the princess stood up intensively and glared at him “Tell me how noble is a man win a war in the game than on the battlefield? As I said, human are fools; the god must be too merciful to allow your race to survive for so many years. Soon, we’ll send your whole race to meet the creator. Now, show me how fool you are. Your freedom and gold will be granted if you defeat me on the stupid game”.

10 Minutes later

“Checkmate” the man hid his joy “Can I leave now?”

What? It is not possible, I lose to a mortal? ~Jurina.

Jurina’s eyes fixed at her defeat on the table, nodded. Mariko handed him a sack of gold coins as he turned to leave. “How wise are you to defeat by a fool?” he smirked.

“You asked for it” The wound on her pride provoked the anger in her.

A silence breath escaped from his lips, he tilted down to look at the source. A spear pierced through his chest.

“How fool and naive are you to believe that I’ll let you go after the stupid game? I have the power, I can do whatever I want” She whispered in his ear.

15 Days earlier 

“You failed to amused me” the princess complaint “Who will die first? The young one or you both”
Three human were knees before the princess.

A child girl was crying and both of her parents were begging the princess to spare them.
“Please, I pledge you; spare our lives, at least the young one”.

“Shut up!” Jurina slapped the crying little girl and insulted “Human are half-wit, disgusting and annoying. No one can even entertain me since last few days, but I found something interesting about human. The fear on human’s face, that pleases me a lot, the expression before their end”

Scardian is terrible. We should have learned and experienced more about feelings. It is something that we lack of. Other than arrogant and anger, we express no more. What I earn from the human is love, it kills me. At the same time it makes me feel something else. Something that is indescribable, I can feel it when I am with the princess. ~Mariko.   

“Your highness let them go” Mariko split her lips “There is no need to talk so much to those weaklings”.

“Did your brain grow rusty day by day?” the princess turned to the knight “When did we become so mercy to them? I notice there is something changed in you. It weakens you. But perhaps we could have a little mercy today”. She smirked.

“Thank you! Your highness, thank you!” the man and wife presented their gratitude.

“There is one condition. You will do whatever I command” Jurina turned back and offered.

What is she thinking? Is she angry? I never saw her treated anyone like this, Scardian don’t mercifully spare or feel sympathy. There are no kind people among Scardian, no, not Jurina. I pray in the name of god hoping she will grant them a clean death instead a terrible one. ~Mariko.

Jurina crossed her hands and widened the gap under between her legs. “Crawl like a dog beneath me, hahaha” she laughed “then I will consider sparing your lives. The male comes first”.

The man lowered his head, clenched his jaw and fists. 

I am a man, my pride...How could…dog...I hate myself. Why I am so useless? I can’t even protect them. Now, in front of my daughter and my wife, I need to crawl between a woman’s legs. No, this is for my family. I will sacrifice for them, even my life if I can keep them safe. This is the least I can do now ~the man.

The man lifted his head and casted his eyes to his wife beside him. “Clarissa...Would you?” The woman knew what he wanted her to do; she can saw it in his moist eyes. She nodded. The women hugged her daughter tightly and rest her head on her chest, not to let the girl saw it. She knew the man don’t want anyone to see this. The man loves his family so much; he doesn’t want anyone of them to see this humiliating moment, especially his daughter. This will saved a very least pride as a father for him to face his daughter in the future.

“No! She will see!” the princess urged “Or all of you will die”.

The woman looked at her husband, tears rolling down his cheek. “It’s ok” he wiped off his tears. The pain in his heart can never be described by any word in the world; it was even more painful than thousands of spears pierced through his flesh.

“I understand” the woman tapped on his shoulder. This moment, it was more valuable than any wealth in the world he ever heard. The man’s heart tightened, he bursted into tears again. This time, it was not for his pride, it was for his family’s love. The little girl stood up from her knees, headed to the direction of her father that just crawled under the princess. She rubbed off the tears on his face. She hugged him.

She turned and looked at them. Jurina’s heart was shaken. A strange feeling struck her heart.

What kind of feeling is this; what is this sorcery. My heart tightens. What am I doing?  I was supposed to continue torture them, insult them. No! I don’t like this feeling. We are the mighty Scardian! We don’t feel this! Die mortal ~Jurina!

Jurina threw her fist toward the back of the little girl that was hugging her father.

Uurrghhh...Who hit me? ~Jurina.
Mariko sent a punch to Jurina’s cheek, causing her to fell onto the ground. “Run!” the knight shouted. The family ran out of the camp, before Mariko followed, she took a glimpse on the princess on the ground then disappeared in the camp.
Sorry Jurina. I can’t let them get kill in front of my eyes. I already affected by the human, I start to possess variety of feeling. Especially love, I love you. I want to experience the feeling of being with the love one. But I need to go now; you will understand the feeling of human one day. ~Mariko
Those patrol wanted to stop the family, but Mariko was with them. No one dare to interfere with her business since she was the fiercest knight of Scardin. Mariko expanded her wings; she threw the little girl on her back and grabbed the man and wife on each of her hand. She flew toward the south as fast as she can. No one tailed behind them. As Jurina recovered on her feet and tried to pursuit them. They were nowhere to be seen.

14 Days earlier   

Mariko flew back to the camp. As she landed; her wings folded. The two guards gestured to warn her not to enter the camp. Mariko donned a faint smile on her face to assure that she got everything in control.   

Jurina shot her a glare when she appeared in her camp.

“I never expect you have the guts to come back!” Jurina slammed her hand on the wooden table and stood up.
I will teach this rude knight a lesson. ~Jurina.

“I am here to receive any punishment” Mariko stood still; head down “But not death”

Jurina. I will explain to you. Everything in you will be change if you understand me. ~Mariko.

“Yes, like a dog” Jurina caressed the bruise on her cheek “If you are not my father’s knight, I would have killed you the moment you came back. You should be grateful for that. Now, do you want to make any excuse?”

Any excuse will not work. I will punish you until you clear the debt for disrespect on me. The excuse is just to entertain me; I will see what excuse you will make up. ~Jurina.

“Jurina Matsui...” Mariko addressed.

“How dare you call my full name?” Jurina interrupted and her anger was rising.

The knight drew out a necklace from beneath her chest plate. It held a sapphire in the socket. Jurina’s eyes widened.

“This is a gift from the king. You know what does it means right?” Mariko held the necklace.

Behind the socket, there carved an emblem; an eagle with its wings expanded. It is the sigil of the Matsui, any outsider that possessed the necklace was considered as a part of the Matsui. Mariko’s status is as high as the princess.

When did father gave that to her? I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t punish her right now; everything must wait until father’s judgement. You will pay your debt one day. I wonder what was father thinking, why would he gave the necklace to a lowborn. I hate Mariko. ~ Jurina.
I can see it in her eyes. Her curiosity and hatred and insult towards lowborn. I know her so well. The relationship between us become worse and tenser by now, how do I make her fall for me now? ~Mariko.

“Yes, I recognize the sigil. It represents the royal family.” Jurina stared at the sapphire. “Don’t be so cocky. I will tell father and the necklace will be taken away from you. Please, leave now before I change my mind.”

“Yes, your highness” Mariko bowed and left.

I don’t even have a chance to explain to her. The excuse I wanted to say. Maybe one day our god will give us back our feeling, something that is more important than power. The God gives with one hand while He takes away with another. I would rather be a mortal than be a corrupted Scardian. ~Mariko.

7 Days earlier

“What is your name?” Mariko asked while holding her hand.

“You can call me Rena, Rena Matsui,” the girl replied. “Where are we going?”

The same family name with Jurina. ~Mariko.

“To the princess. I think something called ‘sick’ by human is attacking her.” Mariko explained. “I heard you are a doctor right?”

“Yes, I am. But who are you?”

“I am a knight, I am a Scardian too. I know you hate us so much, but please heal the princess. I will do anything for you afterwards.” Mariko pledged her, “and how did you become a doctor? I-I am sorry, not to offend you, just curious.”

“No, you don’t need to be sorry. I was meant to be born into this lightless world; my father was a doctor, he taught me all of this so that I can take care of myself and help people.” Rena giggled “I bet you are a mutant of sky people. You are different from them. I can feel the good inside you. You must be the good Scardian that our people talked of. Glad to meet you”.

I am so happy. The greatness in my heart can’t be described by words. This is the first time, not like the honour or respect that earned from the king by killing, but the love and respect that earned from the human. It is so different compared to the king’s honour; this is more valuable. What I learn is that if we treat someone with our true heart and sincerity, they will treat you the same too. She is so unique, even though she is blind, but the happiness in her can still be found. Human’s feelings are deep, I need more time to discover more of them. ~Mariko.

This is the first time I meet a good Scardian. Not like the rumours that they always insulted us, took our lives. It must be hidden deep inside them since they were borned; waiting for someone to invoke it. ~Rena.

“Glad to meet you too,” Mariko blushed for her first lifetime “I hope you can affect our princess.”

The aura around her. I don’t know what is that, but I am so happy to talk to her. She is like a person who can affect everyone around her. ~Mariko.

“What kind of person is she?” Rena questioned.

I wonder what kind of person is the princess. I am curious. ~Rena.

“You will know.” Mariko stopped “Here we are.”

She brushed away the curtain and led Rena in. “My highness, I have bring someone who can heal you. She will be here for you until you recovers.”

Mariko brought her to Jurina’s bedside. She was lying on the bed, her face was colourless. Rena sat beside her and asked, “How do you feel?”

“You are here to heal me, you should know how. If you tell me that you can’t do anything, I can still kill you with one hand.” Jurina struggled so hard to spit her words “I will give you as many gold as you want if you heal me.”

“Well. You can try, but I don’t need your gold.” Rena groped her hand until she found it on her forehead “I think I know what got you.”

I will kill you when I recover my strength. How dare you touch me. ~Jurina.

“How foolish are you?” Jurina insulted. “The only thing that catches human’s eyes are gold. With gold, human can abandon their pride to be a dog”

I notice there is something different about Jurina. She calls them human instead of mortal now. Maybe that family made her touch a little and changed. Maybe unintentionally, but this is good. Her inner self starts to reconstruct without noticing  herself. ~Mariko.

“I am blind, no gold can catches my eyes,” said Rena. “Humans are far more stronger than that, you will understand one day.”

Their dignity as sky people are very heavy and deep. They are very proud of themselves. I wonder what will happen if they start to develop more feelings in them. ~Rena.   

“I don’t need to understand. If human are strong, then why would human be crushed like an ant by us.” Jurina shoved her hand and sat up “I will not need your help. Things from the human world can’t kill me.”

Rena remained silent. The princess barely stood up and tried to walk, but she can’t managed to keep her balance due to the dizzyness. Jurina fell and fainted.

“How many days did she suffer?” Rena heard the slumped on the floor.

“Three days.” Mariko placed Jurina’s arm over her shoulder to bring her back to the bed. “Can you please save her? I am sorry for her arrogance just now. Scardians always behave  this way.”

“Yes, I will bring her back. It’s just fever. She will be fine in a day or two.” Rena assured Mariko.

It is hard to see a people with such kindness. No fear, no malicious in her. Rena’s heart is sure pure and innocent. Those people out there want Jurina to die so much, but Rena is different. She tries to heal our princess. Jurina, I am so worry about you. Please regain your health and strength soon. ~Mariko.

“I have some personal matter to deal with,” Mariko informed Rena. “I will send in two guards under your service, order them if you need help.”

Rena nodded. Mariko took a last gazed on Jurina, then left.

6 Days earlier

What just happened? How many days did I sleep? Who is this lady? Is she treating me? Oh...the doctor. Why did she still tries to heal me? This is a great chance for her to kill me. ~Jurina.

Jurina laid in bed; receiving treatment from Rena. She can barely open her eyes for a while before sleeping back.

5 Days earlier

I am feeling better now. She really means to heal me, to cure what is harming me. Why is she doing this? ~Jurina.

“Is she better now?” Mariko asked.

“Yes, she will regain her conscious by tomorrow.” Rena was brought out to a place where she was alone with Mariko. They sat on a long wooden couch under a tree.

“Thanks for that,” as a sign of relief, she sighed.

“You like the princess, don’t you?” Rena held her hands.

Ho-How did she know? I never told her and she is blind. ~Mariko.

“No, I don’t. She is a princess; I am just a knight that runs my duty to ensure her safety.” Mariko denied.

“My eyes are blind, but my heart is still as bright as any stars in the sky. I can see that with my heart.” Rena said with iron certainty. “You like her and I am sure of it.”

“Er-Erm...but she can’t see that.” Mariko lowered her head. “There is no love between Scardians. We marry just for benefits for both families. Another thing is just for having children, to ensure our race are free from extinction. We are living with no feelings, apart from anger or arrogant. I start to develop feelings in me because I was affected by your people last few years ago, I even lived with them.”

“Now I understand why Scardians are all cold-blooded killers, but you are not.” Rena smiled. “One day, she will understand your feelings, your love. And she will love you in return too.”

“But she hates me!” Mariko’s voice mingled with sad rhythm. “I am so sad, so despair. I could never let her fall for me since she hates me too much now. Everything I did was for her good. Why wouldn’t she understand?”

“Come, you got my shoulder.” Rena tapped twice on her own shoulder.

Mariko leaned forward to rest on Rena’s shoulder.

I wished no more than serving you. Jurina, it’s ok if you can’t give me your love, just let me stay beside you and sacrifice for you. No matter what it cost me, I will do it for you. I just want to see you happy. I still hope that one day you will understand and accept me, love me. ~Mariko.

2 Days earlier

“As I promised, take the golds and flee as far as you can.” Two leather sacks appeared in the midair; fell onto the ground with gold coins chattered. “No matter how far you run, we will conquer all of human’s land in time. You will be killed or maybe be our captives again.”

“No, I don’t need your gold.” Rena stood facing Jurina that sat on the bed. The princess has recovered. “But I have a demand.”

“Speak, human.” Jurina allowed her to speak.

I have never seen Jurina behaved like this...Sh...She allows Rena to speak? Rena is so different; she makes someone who hates human so much to listen to her. ~Mariko.

“Do you dare to accept my challenge?” Rena challenged her “Live like a human for 3 days, experience what we have been through daily, experience human’s feeling. If I fail, my life is yours to torment.”

“You will regret for this, Scardian don’t need those feelings that will enfeeble us” Jurina scorned. “Alright, when do we start?”

“Now.” Rena announced. “Come closer.”

Jurina went as she said, she stood beside Rena. Awaiting for her next move. Rena’s hand came up and held her hand.

“Bring me for a walk.”

What is she up to? I don’t get it. Chih, I won’t be so easily confused by a human. I will see what you want to do. ~Jurina.

The princess led her to a grassland.

“We are almost there” Rena sniffed “Do you see a red tree?”

“Not far from us, yes, north.” Jurina’s attention was caught by a red oak tree near the cliff.

“We will go there.” Rena told her.

The two of them headed towards the red oak tree. They remained silent as they walked, hands swinging side by side. Jurina doesn’t like it so much. As they were getting closer to the red oak tree, the cliff drew back to reveal a field of lavender that stretched to the horizon of land and sky. The whole land beneath them was painted with purple lavenders.

Jurina’s eyes were captured by this magnificent view, it was so mesmerizing, she stunted for a while.

What kind of place is this? Magnificent. Never thought there would be a beautiful place like this existing under the sky. ~Jurina.

Mariko was tailing them up on the sky, keeping a distance so that they won’t notice her. She wants to ensure Rena’s safety and to observe what they were doing. She saw Jurina had Rena in her arms and flew down to the lavender field.

This place is so beautiful. Human never fails to amaze me. No matter how many times, especially you, Rena.  ~Mariko.

Jurina and Rena were walking among the lavenders. Jurina’s voice softened unintentionally when she talked to Rena. She didn’t noticed the change in her. The scenery and the smell were stimulating her feelings.

What is this feeling? It is so comfortable. ~Jurina.

“Princess, how do you feel about human?” Rena broke the silence.

“Filth, weak, half-wits. Your whole race shouldn’t have existed to desecrate this world.” Jurina repeated the loop. “Humans can betray its own kind for gold. All of you have no pride. All humans want is just gold that worth nothing in the sky. I don’t see that you are different from them. Now, tell me what is important to you.”

“Love.” Rena protested. “The most powerful weapon of human. Everything we sacrifice is just for love, for our family, for our love one. Love can influence someone, I believe that Scardians will feel the affection of love too”.

“Love, huh...ridiculous!” Jurina turned to Rena. “I have seen many sacrifices their own family for their own benefits. I don’t see how great human’s love is. Scardian don’t need it. The feelings that will weaken us were already abandoned by us thousand years ago.”

Rena kicked her own leg. She fell onto Jurina’s chest and took away her balance. They both fell. As both of them fell into the crowd of lavender, their lips met each other’s. Jurina’s face reddened, heat rushed up to fill her cheeks, her heart fluttered wildly. Her eyes widened, staring at Rena’s pink face. Rena felt the same too. Something struck their heart the moment Rena’s lips pressed onto Jurina’s lips.

What is this? What is Rena doing? Is this sorcery? My heart is pounding so fast. As though heat running through my whole body in my blood. What is this feeling? ~Jurina.

O-MY-GOD. Did I  just kiss her? My-My first kiss. Wait, why is my heart beating so fast and why am I blushing? It can’t be. This feeling... ~Rena.

Rena pushed against Jurina to rise herself up. Jurina is still staring at Rena’s face, uncertain of what just happened to her.

Has she always been so beautiful?. Wha-What just happened to me? What just happened between us? ~Jurina.

I can’t see what happened inside the sea of lavender. What happened to them? ~Mariko.

1 Days earlier

“Today we will cook together” Rena had her hand held by Jurina in the kitchen.

“Leave us” Jurina commanded.

Chiefs and kitchen helpers obeyed. They cleared the kitchen; left only Rena and Jurina. They went to the stove, getting ready to cook. Jurina gestured to let her magic do the cooking, but Rena grabbed her wrist; indicating no magic was allowed.

Jurina took all the listed ingredients from the pantry and placed them on the wooden table. Rena grabbed her hand to show her the way of using knife.

“I know this better than you. I cut more flesh than you do. There is no need of this.” Jurina chopped the carrot.

“My princess. This is not how you cut a carrot. You need to cut it as thin as possible” Rena felt the carrot pieces by her hand. “Let me show you again.”

“Only human will mind about these small details” Jurina smiled with disdain while Rena impressed her with her knife skill. “My magic will do it.”

Rena snapped away, as her tip of index finger was cut. “Aw-Awh, I cut my finger.” Jurina quickly put Rena’s finger into her mouth.

“Wh-What are you doing?” Rena flashed red as she felt her finger drowned into saliva. She quickly withdrew her finger from jurina’s mouth.

“Saliva can stop the bleeding, aren’t you a doctor? You should know that” Jurina said.

My heart has to stop beating. Control yourself. Yesterday’s kissed was just an accident. She will never love me and we will never be together. I am just a human and she is a princess. She is just trying to help me ~Rena.

“I know that, thanks” Rena cleansed her finger with her sleeves.

The fire was set; they threw in all the ingredients into the pot. Jurina lifted it and put on the stove to cook.

The stew was boiling; Rena took a wooden spoon and scooped. Jurina stopped her, she blew it before Rena tasted it.

“Ummphh…” as a sign of satisfaction “You should try it too.”

As Rena scooped and blew it, Jurina was staring at her.

What am I doing? Did I just felt worried about her? Why did I blew that for her? I wonder what this feeling is, I want to make sure my feeling. ~Jurina.

“Here” Rena raised the spoon to let Jurina to taste it. As Rena was still holding her spoon,  Jurina’s face got closer to her and leaned forward to taste it. “It is indeed very nice.” Jurina suddenly slipped her arms around Rena’s waist in a swift moment and her face got close to Rena. Jurina whispered some words into Rena’s ear and Rena blushed.

“Can I know what the feeling I have in me is? Something has been bothering me since yesterday.”

Uh? Wait? What? ~Rena.

Before Rena could respond, Jurina’s lips were pressing on Rena’s lips. Jurina held her face close and broke her lips apart then met with Rena’s lips again. Jurina’s eyes were closed as she enjoyed the moment of kissing.

Rena didn’t resist. She stood still and the spoon fell onto the ground. Jurina’s sudden action shocked her.

This moment, the time of the world has stopped for them. They had fully immersed in the kiss, everything around them was a void and null. Without any hesitation, their sweet kiss turned into a passionate one and later on a rough one.

“Emm-Ahhh. Stop” As Rena felt out of breath because of the kiss, she pushed Jurina away.

What am I doing? I am addicted to her lips somehow. This feeling in me wanting her is growing stronger. Why? Is this feeling call love? The kiss… is this love? ~Jurina.

“What are you doing?” Rena said in a loud tone as she felt her face has heated up due to the kiss. “Why did you kiss me?”

“........ I want to know what I am feeling inside me.”

“Then? Why do you have to kiss me? You took my first kiss and now you are kissing me again! ” Rena’s eyes became teary


“Do you know what does a kiss mean? You only share your kiss with someone you love. You don’t even love me and yet you kiss me just to know what you were feeling. You are so selfish!”


“And now? Have you found the answer?” She said in a loud tone.

M-My heart is stabbed by thousands of knives. I didn’t mean to hurt her like this. I didn’t know kiss meant so much to her. Wait. Why did i felt guilty? I never feel guilty to anyone, not a human; not even a Scardian. But she...I think I already have my answer. ~Jurina.

Mariko clenched her fist, she was jealous. She saw everything in the kitchen from a vantage spot; hidden and had a clear view of the kitchen.

Why? They kissed. Rena, why didn’t you push her away? You knew that I love the princess. Why? I have misjudged you Rena. You are a wolf under the sheep’s skin. I will make you pay. You will never be with Jurina ~Mariko. 

Anger flashed in Mariko’s eyes then followed by tears shimmering in her eyes.

Rena groped her way out of the kitchen with tears while Jurina stood in the kitchen in guilt.

I hate you. You don’t even care about my feelings ~Rena. 

Current day

The dawn has arrived. Jurina walked toward Rena’s bedside.

“Come” Jurina gently held Rena’s hand.

“What?” Rena sat on her bed.

Jurina yanked her on her feet and led her out of her camp to a open field.

“Stop this. What are you doing? I don’t want to be hurt anymore” Rena exclaimed.

Jurina put a finger on Rena’s lips, hinting her to stop. She slowly raised her hand to Rena’s eyes. A globe of light illuminate around Jurina’s hand placed on Rena’s eyes.

“Rena, I have found my answer about the feeling I had for you.” Jurina whispered in Rena’s ear.


“Hold tight” Jurina wrapped Rena in her arms. She stretched her wings and launched into the air.

“What are you saying?” Rena can felt the air moving around her “Wait, are we flying?”

 “Open your eyes” Jurina told her.

Rena’s world had lit with a faint light, and then the whole image of colour came into the frame of her eyes. Jurina cast a magic on her eyes, so that she was able to see. The first thing she did was to look at Jurina’s face.

Jurina realized Rena opened her eyes. She lowered her head to look into Rena’s eyes. Their eyes met each other’s. Both of them were immersed and fell for each other’s beauty.

Re-Rena’s eyes are so beautiful. Her eyes. It captured my heart.Once again, I was captivated by her. ~Jurina.

The princess? She is so beautiful. Her black eyes, her silky hair. ~Rena.

“What is your name?” Rena asked.

“You can call me Jurina. Matsui Jurina” Jurina answered.

“Jurina…” as she rested on her chest, she whispered.

“We will go to Scardin; to get the blessing from the king” Jurina looked towards the floating city above them.

Suddenly, a flash of light flew toward Rena’s stomach. She twisted and slipped away from the grip of Jurina. A spear hit Rena’s stomach and dispersed. 

Jurina tried to trace the direction of that light spear, but the source was nowhere to be found. Without hesitation, she dived toward Rena to save her from the falling.


The wind worked as a messenger, delivered the whispers of Rena to her love one, Jurina. Her hands stretched straight side along her body, like an eagle diving towards it prey, but this time was her lover. As she dived, her long black hair was stirring backwards in a wave motion. The dive granted her more speed; she was catching up the free falling Rena.
A flash of light flew past her shoulder. A double edge light spear flew into the midst of cloud, disappeared. She frowned. Jurina rolled her eyeballs to the left edge of her eyes, a knight in silver glittering armour with wings were not far behind her.
“I will need to kill you if you don’t let her go!” the knight shouted “It would be a disgrace to our race! My princess! You cannot fall in love with a mortal! Our gods will not grant you their blessing either do the king or the queen!”
“Mariko! Just leave me be! ” tears were drained from her eyes and rose upward “Tell the king and the queen that I love them...and sorry! Even if it’s my death, a disgrace to our race or treason, I will save her”
“She will die one day! She is just a mortal!” Mariko wanted to convince Jurina “But you are a Scardian. You will live another thousand years after her death; you will live in despair for your entire life if you don’t let her go now!”
“A life of despair is better than a life of regret! Now i understand what does Rena means by the most powerful weapon is love. I love Rena, and now I can’t imagine my life without her anymore! She has changed me! I will regret for my entire life if I don’t catch her now!” Jurina replied with tears.

The knight fell into a moment of silent, a sign of agreeing with Jurina, and a little tears glittering in her eyes. “Her death will haunt you for the rest of your life. I will stop you in the name of the king and the pride of Scardin before you fall too deep for a mortal! I will not let you save her! Death or alive, you will be stop!” the knight tried.

“Dead or alive!” Jurina insisted “I will love her to the last day of her!”                     
“You don’t know how much pain that I suffered for you” Mariko retracted her tears and whispered. No one heard, but herself “All I wanted is just a little attention from you. I’m sorry, Jurina”.
The knight expanded her wings to position herself to a gliding stance. Mariko body spun up as her dived turned to glide. She raised her hand above her head, gestured her hand into gripping pose. White holy light gathered around her hand, formed a shimmering short double edge spear in her hand. The next thing was Mariko sent her spears toward Jurina.
But Jurina managed to dodge all of them.
In this moment, Rena was close enough to be held. Jurina stretched her hand to grab Rena’s hand. She yanked Rena towards herself and wrapped her arms around Rena.
“I won’t let you go anymore”
“Ju-Jurina...I knew it was you” Rena regained her conscious. She tilted her head upward to look at her love one.

“I love you Rena” Jurina held her tightly.

“Ju...Jurina, I won the challenge” A faint smile was hung on Rena’s face “I love you too”.

The fall was near. Jurina expanded her angel-like wings.
“Uurrghhh…” a sudden of pain struck on one of her wings, followed with her shoulder and her back.
Jurina lost her balance, twisted, slumped toward the ground with Rena in her arms. She rotated and positioned herself to let herself crashed on the ground instead of Rena, she was a mortal, and she can’t afford this crash. They have a rough slide along the ground, dusts and sands were rose around them.
The knight glided and landed safely on the ground. After the dispersed of dusts and sands, she saw Jurina’s wings were torn and injured while she cradled Rena in her arms. Both of their lives were in dire situation.

Mariko ran toward Jurina and knelt. She rested Jurina’s head on her lap.

“Jurina. I will save you” Mariko worried about her life. “Hold on”

“N-no.” Jurina held her hand “Save Rena first, I will be al-alright in time.”

“Why are you so concern about her life?” mariko’s eyes were drowning with tears “Do you know I love you?”

“If...If you love me..“ Jurina casted her glance towards Rena that were lying motionless beside her. “save Rena”.

Mariko burst into tears. She rested Jurina gently on the ground and went for Rena.

“N...No” Jurina held her hand “I will do it, help me take good care of Rena”

“Bu...But…” Mariko wanted to say something but Jurina gripped her hand harder.

“She is my love. At least let me save her.” Jurina climbed toward Rena. “This is the only last thing I can do for her. Erase her memory of me, start a new life with her”.

“I love you Rena.” She leaned closer toward the consciousness Rena and kissed her.

Jurina’s body illuminated with holy light and shot a flash of light into the sky.

“No!!!!” Mariko shouted.

6 Months later

“He-Help! Darling, help!” Rena ran toward a wooden cabin.

She opened the door and Mariko rushed out from the kitchen. Mariko saw Rena was panting and fear was wearing on her face.

“Mon-Monster, Ma-Mariko, You must see. It’s face was so ugly until I can’t recognize what it is” Rena dragged her out of the house.

Mariko saw a crimson figure standing behind a tree far in the forest.

“There!” Rena pointed while holding Mariko’s arm “The monster tried to give lavenders to me when I was looking for fruits in the forest”. 

“Don’t worry” Mariko patted Rena’s head “You will always see that monster, but it won’t hurt you. This monster is the kind one”.

Mariko donned a smile on her face and nodded toward the crimson figure. The monster then turned it back and disappeared into the forest. 
“Jurina. I have realized your wish. Don’t worry about Rena. I will take care of her and make sure she is safe and healthy until her last day” ~Mariko.

Mariko, thank you. I owe you so much.~Jurina.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2014, 12:35:19 PM by kuro_808 »
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Offline kuro808

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Entry #3

Life is fragile, and one must handle it as though it were glass.

Nightfall descended upon the nation of Japan, allowing the stars to scatter across the sky without remorse; each and every one of them twinkling from the distant.

Barely any sounds were produced in the neighborhood containing rows of houses that stood side by side. Lights from the light post hanged overhead in between each house; easily letting those see in the darkness. Few motor vehicles were making way through the roads nearby, pointing out that it’s late in the day.

If one were to observe the entire area, they would be pleasantly greeted with the peaceful atmosphere. Almost as if the community away from the city of Akihabara was welcoming citizens and strangers with open arms.

A single red Lexus car drove through the empty streets; its headlights illuminating the paved path before its body. Soon it turned right into one of the many homes’ driveway. The lights of the car were quickly flickered off. It was then followed by the opening of the door from the driver’s side.

The driver had just gotten out of her car and closed it when there was a squeal of happiness heard from within the home.

A young girl burst open the front door with a loud slam. That short figure continue to squeal loudly as she dashed out into the dark night. Arms outstretch, the small hands reached out for someone. And alas, she didn’t have to run far for she wrapped her arms around her mother who had come home from work.

“M-Milky!” Watanabe Mayu cried out her nickname as she slightly stumbled backward. Her arms managed to wrap around the little girl’s body to prevent her daughter from accidentally slipping and falling to the ground.

Watanabe Miyuki in her grasp was bouncing up and down in happiness. Her eyes closed, there was the silly, cute grin that was plastered on her face.

“I’m glad Mommy’s home now!” the adopted six year old girl exclaimed.

Then without a second’s hesitation, Mayu bent down to pick up her daughter and embrace her in a warm hug. The girl by her side, she landed a quick peck on Miyuki’s cheek to show affection.

This little girl had been adopted when she was only four. Both of her real parents having abandoned her from an unknown circumstances, Miyuki didn’t have a single ray of light shining in her direction. Until she was found near death by the epidemiologist. Taken her into Mayu’s care, she was granted with happiness that had suppressed what she had long ago with her blood-related parents.

Mayu nuzzled her girl’s nose, the ends of her lips widening. The two girls had a tinge of pinkness coloring their cheeks, showing the affection that were expressed between them.

“I’m glad to see you back from your work, Mayuyu~”

Upon hearing the one voice she was looking forward to, the dark haired girl in her work attire unconsciously giggled. The two girls glanced over at the door to see the tall, dark short-haired girl

Watanabe Jurina was standing by the entrance. With both of her arms crossed against her chest, the other girl grinned. Just the sight of her wife made her heart race with joy. As for the other girl, she did not hesitate to, with Miyuki in her hold, run up to Jurina and hug her.

The three in a firm embrace with each other, they all cracked out their best smile. Together, their smiles could bring light to a dark night that surrounds them.

While Mayu gently and slowly retracted herself from Jurina, the taller female led them all into the house. The safe haven instantly greeted Mayu with warmth. Compared to the laboratory that she spent many hours for today, it was like heaven. The smile from earlier was still plastered on her face.

After lowering their daughter down to the ground and allowing her to run off into the living room, the two quietly exchanged a giggle. Not surprising, the man of the relationship swiftly grasped Mayu’s chin in a single motion. She gently turned the epidemiologist’s head towards her direction; their lips met together.

“I miss you so much,” Jurina whispered before planting another kiss to the girl’s mouth. Her other hand decided to join in the fray, resting its palm on her wife’s waist. Their smiles still retained in the kissing sequence.

The soldier and researcher separated from each other’s contact.

“I miss you too, Jurina,” Mayu muttered under her breath, resting her face against the chest of her wife. Eyelids closed, her heart screamed with joy and content at the life she was presented with.

The two girls having met long ago, it was destiny that brought them to this day. The epidemiologist, who was once an active soldier a couple years ago, met the wife that she is proud to call. Jurina, who still carries on the duty till this day without retiring like Mayu, granted government support for their family. How they met was interesting.

Both of them came from an interesting background. Mayu didn’t have a mother due to a terminal illness that claimed her life while her father was a workaholic. Jurina had great parents, but carried a burden into supporting them due to their financial crisis. Why they joined the army was both for their family’s benefits.

How they met was also intriguing. It would be of great shock for someone to gain the knowledge that Mayu hated Jurina at first. The two girls at a tender age training in boot camp, Mayu always saw the taller girl as a pest and an annoyance. Yet it didn’t drive the stubborn woman away. What sealed the deal was one of the missions that they were sent out to complete.

A mission that wasn’t particularly dangerous quickly transformed into a life or death situation. A simple mission of escorting a prime minister from point A to point B went spiraling out of control. And at that crucial part of their life, Jurina had saved Mayu’s life against the order of the other girl. Although there was resentment and some silent treatments retrieved from the quiet girl, it was only a matter of time before she finally faced Jurina and thanked her.

Friends at first, their relationship blossomed into love. There were rocky moments every now and then, but they were tightly knitted to each other; almost as if the red string were tied on their pinkies to one another. Before both Mayu and Jurina knew it, they had gotten married.

Mayu retired in order to pursue the public health field as Jurina remained. The older girl worked as an epidemiologist in a laboratory not too far from where they live. Jurina on the other hand, despite being on active duty, has remained home comfortably. Sometimes in the week, she would drive over to meet with the commander and be updated on the news of the nation’s political affair. And so far, their life played out in the direction that they wanted to.

Everything in their life is perfect. Everyone is always smiling at every single moment of their life in this household. The perfect life that others hungrily crave for… The three of them have it at the palm of their hands. The key word that everyone wish to proudly announce to the world: content.

Jurina led the researcher to the living room, in which their daughter greeted the two of them with sock puppets concealing her small hands.

The goofy googly pair of eyes staring at the two parents as their mouths opened.

“Well, Mister Donald!” the gray sock with an elephant ear mock speak from Miyuki’s voice. “I am glad Mama and Papa are here with me!”

The other yellow sock with a yellow beak and a blue sailor’s hat representing one closely related to Donald Duck bobbed its head. “You’re right! I love them a lot!”

“I love Mama and Papa too!”

Their daughter glanced upward at the two of them and flashed her best smile with closed eyes. The sight alone was simply adorable. Jurina didn’t hesitate to reach her hand out and bring Miyuki close. She ruffled the top of her head, messing up the black hair similar to theirs.

“We love you too, Miyuki,” she grinned with ease. “Mama Jurina and Mama Mayu love you a lot.”


[Next Day]

As her wife had gone to work, Jurina was left at home as usual with her adopted daughter.

It was a peaceful morning where she might have a chance to hang out with Miyuki. Another great chance for the two to develop their bonds together to the next level.

At the breakfast table with her coffee mug at hand, the dark pair of eyes the girl genetically inherited from her parents flickered left and right. A newspaper lying on the white and red checkered cover, showing interesting topics about today’s society. The neutral mood that she always carried transitioned into sourness. There was a few scoff heard coming from the older girl. Squinted eyes, Jurina turned her attention away from the article.

‘Capitalism at its best…’

She could mentally rant on and on about the government, and their power on regulating the information being brought to the community. But that could be for another day. Right now, she didn’t want her mind clouded with negativity about such world. It didn’t help for a fact that she is an active soldier awaiting orders from the higher ups, knowing for a fact that she could be called in at any moment.

However, Jurina had one important focus for today. It was to spend time with her daughter.

Her face erased all traces of uneasiness, and replaced it with both corners of her lips curved upward. A smile that would charm both her wife and her kid, Jurina truly was proud of carrying the dimpled grin. She got up from her seat. With the mug in her hand, the athletic female trended forth to the stairs, humming to herself a tune that she knew since she was a child.

When she had gotten close to the base of the staircase, there was the ringing of the doorbell. It stopped her on her track. Jurina groaned in irritation when her desire to wake up her daughter was interrupted by the person in front of the door. Her other hand scratching the back of her head for a brief moment, she used the same hand to swing open the door.

In front of her, she saw no one. A little confused, it was only when she accidentally gazed downward that she saw there was something for her. At her feet, there was a light brown envelope.

Jurina did not hesitate to bend down and pick it up. The next second, she went back inside of the house. With the coffee mug laid gently down on the nearby small table for convenience, the tall girl tore open the seal, revealing the content.

There was a single letter inside it followed by a small business card. Lazily the girl shook the envelope to see if there was any more content flowing out of it. When there was no more, she finally directed her focus to the letter and card.

Her eyes skimmed through the letter. But after skimming it, she ended up rereading it again. And again. And again.

Each and every single time Jurina read through the finely printed text, her eyes widen in horror and shock. The grasp on the paper trembled as all of the blood rushed up to her head, giving her a headache.

The letter was telling her that a war had been declared between the nation of Ukraine with Russia and China. Those in support of helping the nation become independent of its holder, the United States, Japan, and South Korea formed an alliance to provide support against the big powerful countries. A war that was similar to the Cold War in regard to superpowers; it’s a worst-case scenario. The war that would be named World War III.

Nausea hit the woman as she struggled not to upchuck in her spot. A cold sweat ran down the side of her face as she saw the words of recruitment and active duties the soldiers must play. Most of the roles are involved with the frontline danger zone. And it begins today.

For once, Jurina was thrown into one of the biggest conflict that would pit the greatest nations against each other. And at what cost? Bloodshed, lives, and hope. The greatest disaster mankind can bring upon this planet, and truly the worst.

Jurina clenched her teeth when she checked the card. The card merely provided information of directions and a couple phone number to contact the military department here in Japan.

Her body unconsciously pressed against the door for support, Jurina was in a huge dilemma. To crack the news to her wife and her daughter… It wasn’t going to end well. But alas, despite the emotional turmoil she is forced to go through, a sense of justice and need to protect her nation sparked from the back of her head.

She did sign up for this job many years ago. The job that she has first met Mayu; the job that she was able to fall in love with Mayu; the job that she was could get married to Mayu; the job that allowed her to have a family; the job that provided security to her entire family; the job that taught her the skills to protect her family and nation. Without it, she would most likely would’ve been with someone else, and Jurina honestly can’t see that sort of vision. With her current lifestyle, she was more than content compared to everyone else.

‘It’s to keep my family and country safe.’

That single statement planted itself deep into her brain, making it the driving force to willingly participate in a cruel battle for power and independence.




It was a struggle to watch the active soldier be back to her duty. A female whose sole duty is to protect her nation and family with her life.

That was something Mayu and Miyuki admired about Jurina. But alas, they were left back home with a missing loved one in their life. They were at home without Jurina. Without a wife, without the other mother.

They had given her their farewells not too long ago. A long, passionate kiss mixed with the salty tears running down their faces were exchanged. To add Miyuki’s bear hug that seem like it would last forever, it was difficult for the soldier to march onward without remorse.

However, Jurina knew that it was not just for the sake of the nation of Japan, but for her family. The war that was progressing at a dangerous rate might one day impact the area that her family and friends reside in. That was the last piece of thought she wanted to become reality. Thus this caused the lone soldier of the family to, with ease, separate from them; just for the time-being.

But that was a couple weeks ago. At the time-being, the mother and her daughter were doing their best to progress through life as usual. There would be faltering in their composure, but the two girls remained strong for Jurina; for her wife, for her mother.

One unexpected day, Mayu brought Miyuki to her room.

“I want to show you something special,” Mayu smiled as she saw her daughter leap on the bed. While she walked over to a nearby desk, Miyuki was hugging her stuff animals; the two being a dog and a mouse. As she snuggled them close and sunk in the comfortable mattress, the girl watched the doctor pull a sky blue box out from one of the drawers.

Her eyes widen when she saw Mayu came over to her. The box that her mother had retrieved was presented to Miyuki.

“This is for you, Milky,” the hands urged her to take it. “Go on and open it.”

Granted permission from the older female, Miyuki didn’t hesitate to receive it. After finding the opening of the smooth box, her small, but thin fingers carefully remove the lid. What awaited her from inside caused her to drop her jaw in awe.

Small sounds of excitement and amusement exited out of her daughter’s mouth when she took out a glassed object. From the sunlight outside of the windows nearby, it reflected against the surface and sparkled. A castle that sparkled, almost making it seem as if it was magical.

“Allow me to tell you about this crystal castle,” Mayu began her lecture as she watched her daughter handled it carefully. “That was given to me by Mama Jurina. On the first birthday of mine, she presented me with this beautiful gift. She told me… that the castle is magnificent and huge despite its physical form like this. But on a metaphorical sense, Jurina told me that she gave this to me for the sake of saying how fragile life can be.”

Mayu’s mind began to wander back, remembering the special moment that she had received the gift as her mouth rambled on.

Why Jurina chose the gift left her slightly puzzled. But she did know for a fact that Jurina wanted to give her something that represents their relationship and life.

”Life is fragile. No matter how strong we are both physically and mentally, there will always be something that can shatter it. Just like this castle of glass… It is built with great care and hard work for years. Yet it can be destroyed within a matter of seconds.”

Those words from her wife echoed in her skull, bouncing around like soundwaves. It was deeply engraved into her brain for sure. And with those same exact words, she repeated it to her daughter just as Jurina had to her.

She chuckled to see that her daughter was half paying attention to her words and more on the castle. It didn’t matter if the young girl understood it or not; eventually she will have to.

“I see that you really love it, Milky,” she commented.

“I really do, Mama!” the little girl quickly replied; eyes still trained on the foreign object. “It’s really pretty!”

Mayu giggled and covered her mouth in politeness. “Neh, did you know that I always look at it every morning for good luck?”

“Ah, really?! It brings good luck?!”

“At least to me it does,” she smiled.

Miyuki continue to be at awe when she heard that this glassed object could be a good luck charm. Perhaps it could give her good luck too if she examines it every morning! However, her eyes squinted every now a then from confusion. She tilted her head to the right slightly and said, “Mama… I see a crack on this glass.”

Mayu was a little shocked to hear that from her girl. Quickly she scooted herself close to Miyuki, peering over her shoulder to observe the precious treasure. Her eyes examined the surface with careful attention paid to details. And just like her daughter had stated, there is indeed a crack on the surface. A frown crossed Mayu’s face.

“Hm… Too bad there’s a crack on this…”

“It still looks fine, right?”

“I suppose so.”

Miyuki’s mother tried to overlook the fact that there was a crack on the treasure that had be given to by Jurina. She couldn’t remember the last time it was there, and for sure it did not appear when she checked on it this morning. Perhaps she had been a little rougher this morning into putting the castle back in the box? Whatever it was, there wasn’t much she or her daughter could do.

With a small sigh escaping out of her mouth, Mayu turned to look at her girl. Though the fear of seeing an abnormality seen on the object, she regained her composure and instead, flashed a smile. She reached out and rested her hand on top of Miyuki’s shoulder.

“I want you to have it, Milky.”

It seemed to have surprised the black haired girl at the statement. The little girl twisted her head around to see her mother; pair of eyes widen.

“R-Really Mama? I can have it?”

Gently Mayu combed Miyuki’s hair with her hand, nodding her head.

“Yes, you can have it.”


[1 year later]

There was a knock at the door.

“I’m coming!” Mayu’s voice was heard from within the kitchen.

She allowed a single sigh to escape out of her lips. Out of all the times for someone to be knocking or ringing the doorbell, it was when she was packing her daughter’s bento box for school.

As she hastily threw the food into the plastic container, from the corner of her eyes, Mayu saw her daughter rushing towards the door. She did not hesitate to yell out a scold to not open the door in fear of a stranger. But alas, Miyuki didn’t hear and proceeded to approach the front door.

She jumped up and down, managing to unlock the simple lock mechanism of the front door. Afterward, her small hands came into contact with the golden knob of the door, twisting it without a second’s hesitation.

24 year old General Yokoyama Yui was standing in front of the door, dressed at her very best. In her black suit attire with medals gleaming thanks to the sun’s rays, it was a surprise to how she wasn’t sweating from such attire. Her firm eyes focused on greeting the individual that would soon open the door.

What she wasn’t expecting was a young, seven year old girl to confront her.

Miyuki stared at the person she has never seen before in her life. Eyes trailing upward to the tall figure, her lower jaw opened slightly with curiosity. There was a long staring contest that ensued until she finally spoke up.

“Who are you?” she blurted out in a loud tone.

Yui stiffen her shoulders as she shot her gaze away from the girl, looking at everywhere but her figure. She then slowly articulated each and every single word that left her lips.

“General Yokoyama Yui desu.”

Upon hearing the key word ‘general’, the girl’s dark eyes widen in amusement; sparkled even with admiration. Mouth opened to a greater extent, Miyuki let out a small, cute exhale.

“General Yuihan!” she boldly pointed her finger at the frozen general standing before her. Yui could only blink a couple times in complete dumbness; unsure of what was going on. A single sweat drop mixed with the production of the heat and nervousness slid down the side of her face.

Honestly, she had never dealt with a child in her entire career life; let alone this girl give her such a nickname!

“W-Who are you…?”

“Me? I’m Watanabe Miyuki! Yoroshiku!”

Yui was speechless. When she wanted to speak more, none of the words had successfully escaped from her voice box and through the trachea. All she could do was watch the other girl with interest.

‘So this is the daughter Jurina had been talking about…’

When she continued to remain silent with a tensed stare, Miyuki pouted, puffing her cheeks in annoyance. Before she was able to open her mouth and throw out a tantrum, Mayu appeared behind her daughter.

“Milky, I told you not to… Y-Yui?”

Internally, Yui was thanking the kami-sama slightly for being able to see an adult. But what made the colors of her face drain is the identity of this figure.

“Watanabe Mayu…” she breathed out. “Retired soldier from the military…”

“It’s been a while, Yui!” Mayu did not hesitate to throw out as she stepped out to the front porch. With a gentle smile, she tilted her head to the left. “How have you been? I see that you’ve become a general now!”

“E-Er… I guess…”

The researcher was somewhat confused to see the general’s eyes changing its direction of its gaze downward. The bright, optimistic mood that Mayu and her daughter carried around was something that contrasted what Yui had carried. Mayu reached out to bring Miyuki close to her, she then asked a question.

“So is there something important that you wanted to tell us about?”

It was almost like a taboo question despite how harmless it was. Everyone uses and throw out that question, so why did the woman flinch upon hearing it?

Yui bit the bottom of her lip, turning her head to the side with distress. From seeing her reaction, Mayu almost regretted asking that sort of question. The bright mood instantly spiraled downward into uneasiness and terror. Her hands resting on top of Miyuki’s shoulders began to tremble; her heart increasing its pace within her chest.

Her daughter was oblivious to the fact of what was going on, glancing upward at her mother with concern.


Miyuki’s concern was brushed aside when Yui finally spoke up in a shaky tone, finally gazing directly into the eyes of the ex-soldier.

“Watanabe Jurina… will not be coming home. She had died on the line of duty.”

Mayu didn’t hear it right. No, she did hear it; her mind just didn’t cooperate to soak in the information that was given to her. The girl’s consciousness shifted almost as if she was watching the scenario unforld from the distant. Mayu gaze fixated on the other girl, five seconds has awkwardly passed by before she opened her mouth.

“E-Excuse me? What did you mean by… that?”

The general mentally sighed. Yui knew that this girl, a friend from a long time ago, is in the state of denial about Jurina’s state. It was a shock to her too, but the strict young lady has to keep her composure up. At least for the moment. So with her dark eyes staring deep into Mayu’s eyes, she inhaled deeply. It was held in for a few seconds before she exhaled through her nose loudly.

“As I had said, Jurina won’t be coming home.”


[5 years later]

Within the five years without Watanabe Jurina in their life, the Watanabe family barely managed to make it through their life normally.

Mayu had fallen into the state of anger and depression, trying to cope with the fact that she had lost someone so dear and close to her. It didn’t help for a fact that her new wife, Kashiwagi Yuki (who didn’t want to change her last name), had to replace the hole that Jurina left behind.

It was a little difficult for her adopted daughter to accept, but Yuki was, thankfully, kind and sweet, caring for the child like it was her own child. How they came together was not out of pity, but rather another individual that Mayu has known for a few years after Jurina’s death. The registered nurse that helped her through the dark times that still raged on till this day.

Yet this did nothing to help ease the pain of a great lost.

Every single night, those who remained in the household would hear the muffled cries that came from the older girl. Despite the amount of comfort from outside, no one could do anything. Even with Yuki, it barely did anything to soften the damaging emotional blow. 

Miyuki, on the other hand, was suffering from great sorrow. At first, she was at denial; always running to the front of the living room and peeking through the curtains, awaiting for Jurina's return. When reality sunk itself in her brain, she was at great despiair.

Yet her face continue to smile for the sake of her mother. That was the best she could do for Mayu, and that was the best she could do for herself. She was an individual that continue to keep her mother sane after so many years has passed by after all.

The entire household had fallen under the deep state of darkness. Rarely anyone would come out of the house with the exception of Yuki; only to come out for both school and work. Every single day was met with the deadly silence and murmurs between the two older women. The child was always holing herself in her room, coming out with the forced smile she's begun to naturally become accustomed. 

As time progresses by, something had finally unraveled itself in Watanabe Mayu. In the time span of five shaky years, something finally clicked in the girl's head.




It was a request that Yuki, her second wife, was astonished to hear.

The pupils within her eyes darkening, she stared at the shorter girl for the longest time possible. She was staring into the fiery spirit that had long been extinguished ever since five years ago. The rekindling of the fire that brought Mayu alive to this world.

However, the words that Mayu had uttered mere seconds ago left her in a state of shock.

When Mayu saw that they were just staring at each other at the edge of their shared bed, she exhaled loudly. Both of her hands clasped together and fingers intertwining, she whispered a plea.

“Please Yukirin… I want to resume my military service.”

“For what though?” Yuki finally managed to grasp her consciousness. “I don’t understand.”

“I have an important job that only I can do.”

She frowned.

“Is it so important that you’re willing to leave both me and your daughter behind?”

There was a slight chuckle as the younger girl closed her eyes. She leaned forward and pressed her forehead against the hands that formed into fists. A slight tremble was seen in Yuki’s perspective; which prompted the girl to reach out and rub her shaking back. The eyebrows that were slanted downward to express disbelief now shifted towards sympathy.

It took a while for Mayu to give a proper reply.

“Yuki… The war is still raging on even after the death of Jurina.” Her face retracting from her hands, she then shot a glance over at her second wife. “We are very lucky to live in a remote area that is safe from the war zone. However, I can’t sit around and allow it to ruin other family’s lives… Especially when they have someone participating in the war.”


Without warning, Yuki’s lips was met with Mayu’s for a split second. Her eyes widen when the other girl pulled away; the sad eyes with the fake smile forming on her face.

‘I’m sorry Yuki, but there’s much more than what I’m letting out,’ she stated to herself inwardly, exiting out of their bedroom. 

Mayu did have a reason more than a good deed to motivate herself out of depression and back into action. She wanted to do something for the person that she so dearly loved. Even though she loved Yuki… The first person to have taken a step into her life and stayed with her till the war…

Jurina… Mayu wanted revenge for her death.

As the years progressed by, the stored sadness that she drowned herself in soon transformed into a silent fury that can only be appealed by countering against the cause of it. And the cause of it? The war itself alone; the sole enemy group that had killed Jurina.

“Mama… Where are you going?” the 12 year old daughter yawned as she rubbed her eyes.

There was a faint chuckle from Mayu’s direction at her response. The little girl that, no matter how old, is still such a sleepyhead. Considering that it’s the weekend, it’s no surprise.

Mayu decided to make a stop to her daughter's bedroom. The entire pink layout did nothing to relieve the tensed atmosphere that only grew between the two of them.

She reached out to caress the side of Miyuki’s small face. The forced smile glued on her face, she then answered.

“I must return back to work.”

“Mm… Don’t you work at a labora… labroraro… laboro…”


“Whatever it is,” Miyuki puffed her cheeks as she sat up on her bed; still rubbing her eyes to erase any remaining trace of daze. “Don’t you work there anyway?”

Mayu scratched the back of her head nervously. “No, I meant… I’m going to return back to the military.”

Her daughter widen her eyes and became fully aware of what her mother was explaining. Instantly her eyes became teary. Miyuki rapidly blinked in hopes of not letting Mayu know that she was about to cry out of desperation. She knew what had happened to her other mother, Jurina. Now she couldn’t help but wonder if the same fate will revisit Mayu. The young girl in her pajama bit the bottom of her lip.

“I don’t want you to go, Mama…”

“But Milky,” her mother pulled her into a hug “I have to do something very important for the both of us.”

Miyuki buried her face into Mayu’s chest, taking in all of the scent and warmth from her mother. Skinny arms wrapped around her stomach, she mumbled in a small voice.

“I’m scared of losing you, Mama. I don’t want to lose you like Mama Jurina.”

That name mentally startled the older girl. Just the mention of it froze the mother stiff. But quickly recollecting herself back to reality, Mayu’s hand shakily reached out to her daughter’s hair. Fingers combed through the straight, smooth black hair that was inherited from her blood-related mother, there was a tinge of heartache.

She knew that she was going to make her only daughter go through the same pain as previously with Jurina. Yet Mayu had this profound confidence that she… isn’t like Jurina. She will make it out alive from the war. She will come home safe and sound; into the arms of her second wife and her daughter.

Mayu will make it unlike Jurina.

Such thought revolved around her mind infinite amount of times, keeping a faint passion and hope alive within her.

“I promise you… I will return back home. Just for you.”

Miyuki retracted herself from hugging her mother. Mayu saw the girl’s dark eyes glisten from becoming watery; the little girl holding back her tears. The sad smile still plastered on her face, the soon-to-be returning soldier on duty gave a kiss on her daughter’s cheek; followed by nuzzling the tip of her soft nose. Both pairs of eyes closed from the two individuals, she exhaled softly.

“I promise you with my life; I will return home.”


Jurina, remember the castle of glass you’ve bought for me?

I gave it to Miyuki.

She really liked it.

Yet there was a crack.

It made us feel sad, but that’s okay.

Miyuki will take good care of it.

On another note, I really miss you.

I cry every single night in my sleep.

I always dream of seeing you bloody and dead.

That's reality though, right?

I just hope you’re resting in peace now.

Since I’ve finally avenged your death.


[3 years later]

There was the knock on the door at the Watanabe residence.

“Milky!” Yuki’s voice was heard from the background. “Do you mind to get the door?”


Quickly the 15 year old girl raced towards the door. Miyuki, who was now older, stood in front of the wooden object. Her hand reached out to grab the golden knob, but hesitated. The grip around the object froze in its position as the girl’s heart began picking up its pace.

‘Could it be Mama…?’

It has been so long since she last saw her mother. After leaving her home in order to participate once more in the military service that she had dropped, Miyuki impatiently waited for Mayu’s arrival. Stuck with Yuki, who cared for her dearly, it was not enough to fill in the enlarged hole in her heart. Mentally she hoped to be embraced in the warmth that only Mayu could provide to her.

Not wanting to jump to conclusion so fast and for safety’s sake, Miyuki tiptoed on her toes in order to peer through the peephole. Besides, Yuki was busy with the next door neighbor to help assist them in their spring cleaning.

Miyuki widen her eyes. She saw the familiar, tall, slender figure in her black suit. Medals gleaming off from the smooth exterior as the white colored cap reduced the heat from the sun’s rays outside on top of the figure’s head. Black hair tied in a ponytail, the female stiffly lowered her head.

This caused the younger girl to feel nervous now. It wasn’t Mayu… It wasn’t her mother at all. It was Yokoyama Yui at the front door. Even though not a single word was spoken about what exactly was going on, a sense of dread hovered above Miyuki’s head.

With a gulp, she unlocked the door and cracked it open. Slowly the door widen to reveal the old general standing tall as ever before her.

Yui’s dark eyes blinked a few times when she saw Miyuki. A faint smile formed on her lips; glad to see the girl older than ever. Her entire figure was still firm and strong as the girl has seen before, but Miyuki saw the weariness and tiredness behind the general’s eyes; emptiness behind her pupils.

The younger tilted her head to the side and stared up at the female standing on the doorstep.

“The war…” Yui began speaking in a slow motion. “…is almost over.”

A surge of relief ran through Miyuki’s body as such news came to greet her. Unconsciously she smiled as she proceeded to ask the burning question that she wanted answered.

“I’m glad to hear that! So how’s Mama Mayu then?”

There was a long silence that came between the two figures. Confused, Miyuki kept her smile plastered on her face as she watched Yui. The other girl clenched her jaw as she took off her cap. Pair of worn out eyes still not meeting Miyuki, she croaked out a reply.

“She’s… She’s passed on.”


Another brief silence.

“I’m so sorry…”

A single teardrop escaped from the corner of Miyuki’s eye as she heard Yui’s voice crack and strain to say the apology. The smile that she had worn just seconds ago instantly curved the ends to the opposite direction. Soon, tears were streaming down her face as if they were a waterfall.

Her brain had registered hastily in concern with the situation: Watanabe Mayu is dead.

Miyuki silently wept in sorrow at the news. Once again, she was left alone in the world without her mother. As if losing mother Jurina wasn’t enough, it was mother Mayu that had vanished from her life.

She knew that Mayu was acting selfishly, yet she couldn’t blame her mother. After all, she wanted to have revenge against the force that had ended her other mother’s life. And now that the war was nearly over, she had no one but Kashiwagi Yuki.

Her eyes squeezed tightly as more tears seeped out from the corners. Both hands on her sides were balled into fists, trembling with a mixture of rage and sadness. In front of the 15 year old girl, Yui, who was now 32, arched her brows to express empathy. The general that knew her and her parents so well too felt regret and the aching agony of losing them. Especially when she knows for a fact that Miyuki is left in this world with both parents dead.

From the background as Miyuki reopened her wet eyelids, she saw her kind stepmother sobbing with her two familiar friends, Kuramochi Asuka and Sashihara Rino. Her swollen, red eyes barely heeded any more attention to their existence as she returned her gaze back to Yui.

The older female bit the bottom of her lip as she herself glanced downward. She didn’t want to meet the eyes of a child that was in much more emotional pain than she was. All she could utter was an apology over and over in a small mumble; not knowing whether Miyuki would hear them or not.

Regardless of it though, the young girl sniffled as she clenched her jaw stiffly. What was she to do without both Mayu and Jurina? She has Yuki, but it’s not the same as having her actual parents with her. What would she do with her life? What would her future be like?

Then she made up her mind. Her heart has been shattered into numerous pieces and can never be the same ever again. Yet she could do something.

The pair of eyes that she carried began to darken as her heart pounded against her chest. Miyuki was only 15, but she only had a couple more years till she’s able to follow the steps of her parents. Even though she knew that it would be reckless and selfish of her to decide on such option, her entire consciousness was blinded with the fact of avenging her parents. Or was it merely to bury her grief into action? Whatever it was, she knew what she wanted to do.

Miyuki’s dark brown eyes stared hard at the general bent down in front of her. Yui finally lifted her worn out eyes at the girl. The expression she had worn shifted into surprise as she saw a burning, emotional passion before her. It was the same look that she had known from the wife of Watanabe Jurina after her death.

‘Don’t tell me she’s…’

Yui didn’t even have to think any further than that. She knew exactly what this little girl was thinking, and it horrified her that it was going to repeat again.

The daughter of the deceased Jurina and Mayu firmly stood in her spot as she opened her mouth.

It was time for her to finish it.

« Last Edit: May 01, 2014, 12:37:33 PM by kuro_808 »
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Offline kuro808

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Entry #4


"VACATION! Finally!" I've been working straight for months. I'm about to forget how it feels like to rest.

"Yuko, you only have two days off. After that, you should get back to preparing for your concert."
This midget, how dare she ruin my mood.
"You talk like you’re my manager, Takamina!"

"I know you're not good at remembering things. You're lucky to have a friend who reminds you of your own schedule."

"Boo.. you haven't changed since highschool, the only difference is that it’s me you're nagging this time." I teased. But she just continued on packing things up.
"Which reminds me, I met Aachan in an event last week. She's currently shooting somewhere near our hometown."

She paused. "Like her.. you're also one of the busiest persons in the country. You don't have the time to think of other things. So don't blame me if I can't trust important matters to fit in your squirrel-sized brain."

"Hey, that's mean! You should have just said that you care." She just smiled, ignoring the news I just told her. "It's time to go home. Are you going with me?"

"You can go first, I still need to meet my boss before I leave."

Your boss, huh. "Well then, I'm off now."

I decided to spend my vacation in my parent's house where I grew up. Unfortunately, they're both out of the country so I'll be home alone.
"Oh, I miss my bed. At last, no one will disturb me. I can sleep as much as I want." I immediately fell asleep.

*Door bell rings*
I checked the time. 6:15 AM.. It’s too early for a visitor. I’m still sleepy so I ignored the door bell.

*Door bell rings*
What the.. who could be interrupting my peaceful sleep! That can't be my parents, their arrival isn't until next week.

"Okay, wait! I’m coming!" I shouted. I reached for the knob and opened the door. My sleepiness instantly disappeared as I recognized the person right infront of me. I know I'm wide awake now, but why am I afraid that this might only be a dream.

"Hisashiburi.. Yuuchan."


"Perfect score?! Really, Takamina are you human? I only got an almost passing score after those sleepless nights studying. But you.. I didn’t even see you read your notes. That’s unfair!"

"Stop ranting, Yuko. At least you’re also graduating together with us."

"Nyannyan, may I see yours?" I looked at her paper. "Life’s really unfair! Nyannyan is not only perfectly beautiful, is tall, has long brown beautiful hair, and has skin as white as snow.. but she can also get high scores!"

"Geez, Yuuchan! You always sound like a pervert." She's cute when she blushes. "Takamina is right, at least now I’m not worried that you’ll be left behind in school."

"Really, Nyannyan is worried about me? I’m happy!" I cuddled her like the usual.

"Ofcourse, Yuuchan and will you please stop hugging me?" I'll miss this tsundere side of her. "By the way, Takamina. Where’s Aachan?"

"She’s still at the theater club practicing for their last performance. I told her to follow us here after."

"Hi guys! Sorry, our practice finished late today." Aachan joined our table and sat next to Takamina.

"It’s okay, we kept your girlfriend company while she was waiting for you. Look at how many bowls of katsudon she ate!"
Takamina just glared at me. Maybe she knows why I'm acting silly today.

"Nyannyan! I'm scared!" I buried my face on her shoulder. She smells good. This time she didn't resist, but I heard her let go of a sigh before she stood up.

"Hey guys, I think I need to get going. I still need to pack some of my things up." The Atsumina couple nodded to her.

"Take care, Kojiharu. Don't forget to contact us when you get there."

"I will. Thank you for everything." She bowed, then we left.

"Ne, Yuuchan. I need to ask you something."

I have to pretend like everything's normal as we walk home. "Is Nyannyan going to confess? My answer is yes!"

"Baka, Yuuchan. Can you please be serious sometimes?" Her face saddened.
"You know that I'll be leaving for Paris tomorrow."

Just the thought of her leaving makes my heart ache, but I need to show her that I'm okay. "You can finally achieve your dream to become a model. I'm happy for you!"

She stared at me looking disappointed. "Yuuchan.. what are your plans?"

The truth is that, it feels like there's no tomorrow for me.
"I don’t know what I'm capable of. I'm not smart like Takamina, talented like Aachan or beautiful like you."

"Yuuchan, that's not true. You're.."

"Nyannyan, look!" I interrupted her, directing her attention to a posted ad for a voice talent search.
"I guess I have a plan now! You think I can get in if I audition?"

She looked sadder than earlier.

"I know I'm not experienced, and you're the only one who heard me sing. But I won't know unless I try, right?"

There was a long pause.
"But the date is on the day of my flight."

"I thought it's an evening flight? You still have the chance to watch me before you go."

"I.. I’ll try, Yuuchan."

"Promise me you'll hear me sing again, Nyannyan."

"Okay, I promise."
And that was the last time I heard of her.


"Yuko, what are you doing? You’re next!"

"But I still can't see Nyannyan. She promised she'll watch me."

"Yuko, I'm sure Kojiharu believes in you even if she's not here. So go up there, and give your best. Do it for her."
Takamina is indeed a great leader. She's right. From now on, I'll sing to my heart's content.

She didn't come. I didn’t even have the chance to tell her how I feel for her.
"Hello, my name is Oshima Yuko." Tears began to fall, as I finally  let out my voice.


I ended up like a stalker, crossdressed as a guy. But this is the only way I can be near her. It's already been a year since that night we were last together.


"I can’t believe Yuko got in. I’m not saying that she’s not good. But she was crying during the entire duration of her song! Last time I checked, it was a singing contest."

"She probably got upset because Kojiharu left, and the feelings she felt reflected on her song."

"Well, one of the judges commented that her way of singing is full of emotions. Not to mention, the judges have big names in the industry."

"Too bad, I wasn't able to watch her."

"It's okay. Yuko understands you're busy on your stage play."

"Ne Minami.."


"How much do you love me?"

"Why the sudden question, Atsuko?"

"Obviously we know that Yuko loves Kojiharu, but she wasn’t able to tell her before she left."

"That's true. But I already told you a million times how much I love you. That I’m willing to give up everything just to be with you."

"I love you too, Minami.. So much that I wanted the best for you. For both of us."

I saw her teary eyes, I felt that something's wrong here.
"That’s why we already planned our future. We’ll go to same college and live together."

She remained silent for a second.
"Minami, what if I continue on my acting career?"

"If that’s your true passion, then go. I’ll find my way to be able to support you as always."

"Minami, I.."

She didn't finish what she's about to say. Instead, she kissed me. I felt her kisses were different. They're much deeper than before. The way she hugged me, tighter than usual. Her touches burn my skin, there's too much passion. Her body was trying to send me a message that I couldn't understand. We shared the night together, and I never knew that would be the last one.

I woke up, she’s nowhere to be found. The only thing beside me on bed was a letter from her.


Remember the last practice in the theater club when I came out late. That time, a director approached me. He wanted me to be the leading actress on his movie. I really thought aboit it many times before I decided to meet him again to accept his offer. It's the real reason why I didn’t come to Yuko's performance.

Minami, I'm sorry for being such a coward. I was so afraid to tell you that I don’t want you to only end up supporting me all the time. I know you can do more than that. I don't want to hurt you. Chase your own dream, Minami. I’m sorry, I didn’t say goodbye. I love you. Please never forget that.



I decided to follow her, so I planned to take a job that will get me closer to her. After a year, I trained to become a makeup artist. Every after work, I have to disguise as a guy to approach her. Since I know she’ll get mad if she knows I'm here. And besides, being a girl as her lover would be bad for her image. I watched her films, all her partners are good looking guys. I have no match compared to them.

I bought a bouquet of flowers for her. Hope she'll like these.
"Aaaahhh!" I bumped into someone.

"Hey you! Watch where you’re going little guy!"

I looked up. She's so gorgeous with a model like figure. She has long black, beautiful hair. I recognized her.
"Ray-san! Sumimasen deshita!" I bowed. Ofcourse who can't possibly know her, she’s Japan's number one diva! I picked up the bouquet from the floor.

"Another fanatic? Are these flowers for me? How lame.. why can't guys like you understand that wasting time and money won't help your feelings be returned."

What a brat girl! Who does she think she is? "I didn’t come here for you! I'm here for the girl I love!"
I shouted at her. I guess she was surprised with my words. She didn't speak. She picked the letter that fell from my bouquet.

For Maeda Atsuko
From your greatest fan.

Just on time, Atsuko was about to pass by. She was talking to a guy. I think he’s her partner on her latest movie. She looks like she's enjoying his company.

"So Kai, right?" Ray spoke to me again.
"Well, I guess she has a boyfriend now. Goodluck on that."
She gave me my letter and left.


"Really, Bakamina! All my life I thought you're the smartest person on earth. So this is your plan, genius! First, you only enrolled in a vocational school to take makeup and cosmetics, eventhough we all know that you're far better than that. Now you’re crossdressing as a guy. All of this for Aachan!"

"Don’t move or talk, or I’ll ruin your face, Yuko."

"The class president we all knew is now the president of Aachan's fans club. What a waste."

"You're done." I ignored what she's mumbling, and handed her the mirror.

"Woah, one thing's for sure. You’re really good at anything." She's surprised as she looked at her reflection. "So what are you planning to do, now that your training here is about to end?"

"I'm going to introduce myself to her. Tomorrow is my last chance."

For the nth time, I brought again a bouquet of flowers for her. I usually sneak these in her room like a secret admirer but this time I will hand them personally.

I was so nervous as I get closer to her. She's still the beautiful Atsuko I love, with that shoulder length black hair of hers, and that magic in those eyes that always melts me.

"Hi Ats.. uhm Maeda-san. This is for.." I was suddenly interrupted by some reporters.

"Maeda-san, is it true that you and Sato Takeru are going out?" They asked.
So that's the name of the guy she's talking to last time.

"Yes, we're officially dating." She confirmed.

I felt like my heart is crashing into pieces. Atsuko why?

Then someone grabbed my hand from behind.

The only one I remember who called me like that is..

She’s staring at me. Maybe because she noticed my teary eyes.

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

"What do you want?" I asked.

"You’re a girl right?"
What! How did she know? Is my disguise too obvious?

"I have a proposal for you."
A proposal?

"Be my personal makeup artist."

Ehhh?? Nande!?


It’s been three years since I left Japan and now I'm coming back. The flight seems too long and I can't even sleep because of my excitement. I put on the earphones and listened to the plane radio. The voice seems nostalgic. Then I thought of her. I wonder how you're doing now, Yuuchan.


The first time I met her, I was playing my psp alone on the rooftop. I'm new to the school that's why I don't have any friends yet. Then I heard someone singing. What an angelic voice. I was curious so I tried to look where the voice is coming from. Then I saw this girl, she's on her earphones. She's cute when she sings. She looks like she's enjoying herself.

I keep coming to that place to hear her voice. She doesn't notice my presence, not until one day.

"Eh, Kojima-san?"
She knows my name?

"Excuse me but, do we know each other?" I asked.

"We're classmates! Everyone knows you. You're quite popular you know!"
How did I not notice before?

"By the way, I'm Oshima Yuko!"
What an energetic girl. She has cute dimples when she smiles!

"Wow, you're more beautiful up close! Can I call you Nyannyan?"

"Eh, why?"

"Because you love cats, I saw you feed your pets. I'm also your neighbor!"
This girl.. I thought I was the stalker here. I never knew she's worse.

"I'm your very first friend here, right?" She continued talking.
"You too can call me anything you want."

I can't resist her charm. "Then, Yuuchan?"

"Yes, Nyannyan?"

"Ano.. what's the song you're singing?"

"Oh, so you heard me?"

"Uhm, just a while ago." I lied. I don't want to creep her out.

"Nyannyan is my first audience then." She blushed. This girl gets cuter every second.

"You see.. I don't mind if you continue singing." That didn't sound good.
"I mean, I don't want to be disturbed when playing my psp. So, just do what you usually do while I do mine." I even made it worst. I sounded cold. Hope she doesn't get mad at me.

"No problem! If that's what my Nyannyan wished!"

I secretly smiled, as I continue playing my psp. I was happy to have a chance to get close to her like this.
And that's how we spend time together since then.


My plane arrived early. I dropped my baggages at home and went straight to her house, since it's just few blocks away. I know I can't wait any longer to see her again. I rang the door bell twice. I was so nervous as the door finally opened.

Oh my, she got really cuter than before. She's so pretty eventhough she looked like she just woke up.

"Nyannyan?" She hugged me.
"So this is real! I’m not dreaming, am I?" She sounds like she's about to cry.

"I’m back, Yuuchan." I hugged her back.

"Come in!" She breaks the hug.
"Sorry, I look like a mess. I didn't expect to have an early visitor. And you.. you look lovelier than ever."
I missed the way she stares at me.

"Hmm, are you hungry? Do you want to eat?"

"Actually, I just arrived this morning. I haven’t slept or eaten yet."

"I’ll cook breakfast for you. My parents are out. But they should have left me something to eat here."
I watched her as she went to the kitchen to find some food.

"How are you, Yuuchan?" I asked.
"The last thing I know is about the voice talent search."
She remained silent.

"I’m sorry I wasn’t able to wa.."

"Nyannyan, it’s okay." She looked serious. "I.. I didn’t go either."

"Eh? But why?" She didn't answer.
I feel like there's something she's not telling me.

"All this time I felt guilty that I didn’t keep my promise. I was afraid to contact you, to know that you’re mad at me."

"Nyannyan.. Can we just forget about that? The important thing is that you’re here now."
She put slices of bread and two glasses of milk on a tray. We sat on the sofa.
"So, how long are you gonna stay in Japan?" She switched the topic.

"I will stay for good. I told my mom I wanted to have a job here and she agreed."

"Yay, that’s great news! Takamina and Aachan will be happy to hear that!"

"How’s everyone?"

"Well uhm, Aachan is now a famous actress here in Japan. You didn’t know?"

"Sugoi~ I don't watch tv that much, that’s why I’m not updated on what’s happening here. And besides, I was busy studying."

"Ah, now I understand."

"I bet Takamina is having a hard time dealing with her famous girlfriend now."

"Actually.. they’re not together anymore. After you left, Aachan also left for her acting career."

"That's sad. I thought they're inseparable. So, how's Takamina?"

"She’s now a professional makeup artist. We work together."

"Ah! So that’s why!"


"I’ve been staring at your face and noticed your flawless sakin. Being a makeup artist made you take good care of your own skin."

"Ahh yes.. yes. You’re right! Hehe.."
She said as she drank up her milk to the last drop.

"Ne Nyannyan, why don’t we have a reunion! Great idea, right? I'll text Atsumina right away!"
She switched the topic again. She's acting a little strange.

To: Takamina
Nyannyan is back! Are you free tomorrow?
Let’s meet up! Same place!
From: Yuko

To: Yuko
I’ll be there!
Say hi to Kojiharu!
From: Takamina

To: Aachan
Hi Aachan! Let’s have a reunion!
Nyan nyan and Takamina will be there! Same place tomorrow. Hope you’re free.
From: Yuko

To: Yuko
Hi Yuko! I’m free tomorrow.
Thanks for inviting me. See you!
From: Aachan

"It’s all set! Nyannyan? Are you sleeping? I guess you're really tired."

I felt sleepy. I closed my eyes. My head resting on her shoulder. I can still hear her phone beeping.
"Yuuchan, are you still texting?"

"Uhm, just need to tell something to Takamina.."

"About what?"

"Nothing.. just about Aachan coming."

"Ah okay.." My eyes are getting heavier. "Yuuchan.."


"I missed this.. I missed you.."

"I missed you too.. Nyannyan.." She whispers.
Then we both fell asleep.


I was happy to receive an invite from Yuko. It's a good thing we exchanged numbers when we met.
"...Takamina will be there." I read this part of her message again. Minami.. how is she? Is she mad at me. Did she already forget about me? I have too many questions left unanswered.

I was on my way to our meeting place, her favorite restaurant, where the four of us had last been together.

"Aachan! Over here!"

"Yuko! Kojiharu! I’m happy to see you guys again." I looked around, she isn't here yet.
"So, how's Paris?" I asked Kojiharu.

"Such a beautiful place. But still, there's no place like home. Sorry, I wasn't able to keep in touch."

"Nyannyan decided to continue her modeling career in Japan!" Yuko happily hugged her.

"You two are finally reunited again." I wish me and Minami too.

"Have you guys ordered me katsudon already?" A voice came from behind.

"Takamina!" Kojiharu shouted.
I froze. I can't move.

"It's been a while, Kojiharu. Atsuko." She smiled at me.

"Takamina, you're late! And we're hungry!" Yuko complained.

"Hey, may I sit here?" The small girl asked me and I nodded.

"So Aachan, I heard you’re now an actress. How was it?" Kojiharu continued the conversation.

I can hardly speak, now that Minami is listening.
"It’s life draining but fun. I think Yuko feels the same way."

"Yuuchan feels the same?"

"Ah.. Eh.. it's because we both work in the entertainment world." Yuko answered nervously.

"I see. Ne Minami, how’s Yuu-chan when it comes to work? She told me you work together."

"Yuko, she.. well she grew a little. She's more mature now."

"While Takamidget didn't grow an inch!" Minami glared at her. "Just kidding."
It felt like dejavu, I missed being with them like this.

*Phone rings*
"Excuse me for a second. I just need to attend this call." Minami went outside.

Our food arrived so we started eating.
"She’s taking so long." I said.

"Maybe it’s her girlfriend. It's rare that they weren't together since she also works with us."

"Yuuchan!" Kojiharu elbowed her.

"Oops, I just thought you guys already moved on. Since you already have an actor boyfriend."
Yuko explained.


"Well I, heard it from he... from the news."

"He’s not anymore, besides it’s just to put on a show."

"Sorry, I took so long. So what are you guys talking about?"
Minami came back.

"We’re talking about Aachan’s…"

"Aachan’s new movie!" Kojiharu interrupted Yuko.

"Oh, so how was it Atsuko?"
She called my name for the second time today.

"I just had a shooting near the area. So I got this chance to spend time with you guys."

"I’m glad that you finally reached your dreams." She sincerely said.

"Thank you, Minami. How about you?"

"Yes, I’m quite happy from where I am now." She responded.

"So it means everyone's successful, like Kojiharu as a model and Yuko as..."

"Aaaghhh!!" Yuko suddenly shouted.


"Nyannyan, I don’t feel well.. Can we go home?"
This squirrel what's wrong with her? I haven't talked to to Minami that much yet.

"We have plenty of time to meet again since Kojiharu isn't going back to Paris anymore, right?" Minami said making some eye contact with Yuko.

I noticed people are staring. Maybe they already recognized us. So I agreed to go home.


She now has a girlfriend. She already moved on. I can't stop thinking about it.
I dialed Kojiharu's number.

"Hi Kojiharu! It’s me Atsuko. I got your number from Yuko."

"Hello, Aachan! What's up?"

"I wanted to make a surprise visit at Yuko's and Minami’s work tomorrow. Do you wanna come with me?"

"Sure! I’m curious too."

"Then let’s meet there. See you!"

Minami's girlfriend. I wonder how she's like.


"Eeehhhh? What are you doing here Aachan! And why is Nyannyan with you?"

"We wanted to visit you guys! Aren’t you happy to see us?"

"Noooo! Nyannyan must not know my real job.. I don’t want her to get upset about not showing up three years ago."

"You should have told me!"

"I forgive you. But you should do something for me!"

Yuko grabbed me as we went back to where Minami and Kojiharu is waiting.

"Hey Takamina, put make-up on her. She will be the one performing on stage!"

"What are you talki…"

"Nyannyan.. let's go. I still don't feel well." She ignored me.

"Chotto matte.. Yukoooo!!" They flew away leaving me alone with Minami.

"Atsuko, Yuko’s number will start in 10 minutes. Come with me."
We went to the makeup room.

"Did you know about Yuko’s lying to Kojiharu?" I asked.

"I knew, I was forced to go along with her."

"How is it even possible that she didn't know Yuko is Japan's top idol today?"

"I'm not surprised. Kojiharu has always been an airhead since highschool."
She’s touching my face. God, she’s so near.

"I never imagined that you’ll become a makeup artist."

"Well it’s a long story. 10 minutes isn’t even enough to tell." She giggled.
I can’t help but to stare at her. I wanted to kiss those lips again.

"I guess you’re done. Here’s the mirror."

"Wow, as expected of Takahashi Minami. You’re good." I liked my reflection.

"Thank you for the compliment. Wait here, I needed to explain the new arrangement for today's performance."

I looked around the room, and found a picture pinned on the wall. Is this Ray the diva? So she's also her makeup artist. Wait the guy beside her looks familiar, I think I saw him somewhere before.

"Atsuko, you’re next." Minami called. "So what song do you plan to sing?"
Song? Omg! I forgot that Yuko's a singer. I'm gonna kill that squirrel after this!

This is the first time I’m gonna sing live on stage. Kami-sama, help me.
Then I sang. I saw her in the audience, my eyes locked on hers. It felt like there's only the two of us.
I’m singing only for her.

~ I don’t need a time machine
I don't care for the past or future
As long as I can be with you
What matters most is today ~

Please hear my feelings out, Minami.


I head back to the makeup room to look for her. I heard someone crying. I peeked inside.

"Ray, is there something wrong?"

"Nothing Kai. I'm just tired that's all."

She called her Kai? Now I remember the guy in the picture. It's the person who sends me flowers two years ago. Kai is Minami? But how?

"Really Ray, you're crying because you're tired? Hey.." She came near her.
"Did I do something wrong?"

She asked sweetly as she kissed her cheek.
"Sorry I can't help it, you really look cute when you cry." She teased.

It means Ray-san is Minami's.. My knees got weak, I accidentally leaned on the door.

"Atsuko?" Minami got up.

"Sorry to disturb you. I actually just want to thank you for earlier."

"No problem, it's my job. Atsuko, this is Ray."

"I know her. Everyone does."

She held her hand then spoke again.
"Ray is.. my girlfriend."




"Where are you heading? The stage is that way.."

"Ano, Ray-san this is Nyannyan."

So this is the girl behind the success of the famous Oshima Yuko. I thought.

"Nyannyan this is Ray-san. You wanted to meet Takamina's gf right?"

"You mean Ray-san is.." She was surprised.
"Kojima Haruna desu! Nice to meet you. I'm a fan!"

"Nice to finally meet you too, Kojima-san."

"Please excuse us, Nyannyan and I need to go now. Someone's going to be my substitute for today. I'm sorry!" And they immediately left.

That girl.. Oshima-san, I remember when she auditioned three years ago. The way she sang was different from how I did. It's like she wanted to send off a message through her song. That's something I know I lack in. I did the right decision to choose her. She deserves the place where she is now. Before her, I've been Japan's number one diva for consecutive years. My everyday life was just the same.

Until that one day, I met the person who changed my life.


Kai. Since that day I bumped to him, I've always been watching him bring flowers to that actress. I find him cute with his blonde hair. And he's way smaller than me. But what interests me most is that he's the only person who rejected me. How dare him choose that newbie over Ray.

I wonder how he gets into the set, since this place is restricted from outsiders. Maybe he works here.
There he is again. Where is he going? And when did I become his stalker?

He entered the girls room? This guy's a pervert I need to stop him!

He's changing his clothes. Why am I still watching him strip?

Are those girls clothes he's about to wear? Wait! He's a girl??!

Oh no, she's coming out. I need to hide.

I ended up following her. She headed to the makeup room.

"Really, Bakamina!" I heard someone shouting at her.
Oh, I know that girl she's talking to. She's from the audition last year.

I listened to their conversation. And found out why she's disguising as a guy. She went all the way here because of Maeda. So tomorrow's her last day. I wonder what she'll do next.

She's on her male clothes again with a bouquet on her hands. She's on her way to approach Maeda. But a bunch of reporters interrupted them. In the end, she didn't have the last chance to tell her. This girl is hopeless, I thought.

I suddenly grabbed her hand. I actually don't know why I did that.

Her eyes we're about to cry.

"Be my personal make-up artist."
She looked confused.

"I know it's your last day today and I just witnessed how you blew your last chance to talk to your Maeda."

"And you wanted to help me?"

"Well just think of this as my apology for what I said last time. So are you accepting the job?"

She suddenly hugged me. My defenses are totally gone.
"Arigatou, Ray-san!"

I tried her skills out. She's surprisingly amazing.
"Are you sure you're just a trainee here? Cause you work like a pro." I complimented her.

"Well, I believe that anything can be learned." She answered.
So can you learn to love me too? What am I thinking? Oh my, I guess I'm falling for this small girl.

When the Japan billboard announced that I ranked 2nd to Oshima Yuko, I cried so hard because it's the first time I stepped down from my throne. But she's there to comfort me.

"Hey Ray, it's okay. I'll always be here for you." She said.
That time I realized I don't mind being number two after all. It means more time to spend with Kai like this.
And because the number one place I wanted now is in Kai's heart.

I felt the urge to confess to her. I kissed her lips.
"Kai, I love you. I hope you accept my feelings."

She's so kind to consider it, out of pity maybe. But I don't care as long as she's here with me.


Oshima-san said someone substituted her, I wonder who's singing on stage. I saw Kai watching from the audience. She's looking at... Maeda Atsuko. She's here. I can see how she stares back at Kai while she sings.

I can't stand the pain I felt out there so I went straight to the makeup room. Tears started falling.
Kai entered the room and saw me crying. She asked why but I didn't answer her. She went closer and kissed my cheek. She's so sweet. Then someone opened the door. It's Maeda. After Kai introduced me, she immediately left.

"Kai, she's finally back. I saw how you looked at each other earlier." I said.


"I know I'll never get the number one place in your heart. Don't worry about me, Kai. I want you to be happy."
I didn't let her speak. I just left.

As I runaway, I started to recall what I just said and regret the words I told her. I decided to go back and saw her talking to Maeda. And I heard the most painful words I wished I never heard.

"I never stopped loving you, Atsuko.."


"I still can't believe Ray is Takamina's girlfriend!"

"Mou~ Nyannyan, how come you know about Ray-san? I thought you don't watch TV." I asked her.

"She's Japan's number one diva since highschool! Ofcourse, I know her. I'm just not sure if she still is."

"Actually, she's second now."

"So, who's the first?"

"I thought you're not interested?"

"You're right. Oh Yuuchan, before I forget. I finally got a job! I'll be starting tomorrow."

"Congrats, Nyannyan! This calls for a celebration! Are you free in the evening? I also need to tell you something."

"Why not tell it now?"

"There's something I want to give you too. It's a surprise."

"Alright then, let's meet after my work tomorrow."


I have a photo shoot today for my upcoming concert. After this, I needed to tell Nyannyan the truth.
People in this studio are lining up to get my sign. I'm getting tired, I hope this finishes up soon.

I was terrified as I hear a very familiar voice.

"Nyannyan? Y-You.. work here?"

"You lied to me!" She ranaway.

"Nyannyan, wait let me explain!" I ran after her.
"I was planning to tell you everything today that's why I wanted us to meet up."

"So the world knows, except me! You're being unfair!" She cried.

"Nyannyan please.. I'm sorry! I don't want to hurt you.. I just don't want to upset you about what happened three years ago." I captured her and hugged her from behind.

"Get away from me!" She tried to let go but I hugged her tighter instead.

"Haruna, I'm in love with you!" Her movements suddenly stopped.

"I've always wanted to tell you how I feel." I cried saying these words.

I released her and handed her a small envelope.
"I'm so sorry.. but please.. at least come hear me sing."

Then, I left.


I tried to follow after Ray but I saw Atsuko outside, alone crying in her knees.


She looked up at me. "I never imagined it would hurt so much like this." She said.
"I never loved anyone else besides you, Minami." She stood up still crying.
"I regret the day I left you and chose my dream over you. I'm so sorry, Minami!"

"Atsuko.. you just did the right thing. Look at where you are now. I've always wanted to you to be happy." I came closer to her and wiped her tears.
"You told me to chase after my dream. That's what I did. I followed you because you're that dream I've always wanted. I never stopped loving you, Atsuko.." I paused.
"It's just that I'm loving you in a different way now."

"It's because of her.." She said sadly.

"Ray saved me." I answered.
"She helped me to move on. She's loud and bossy, but she never leaves me behind. She pretends to be strong but deep inside she's vulnerable, and that's what I love about her." I finally said it.
"When she confessed to me, I knew how hard it was for her to bring her defenses down. But still she didn't think about her pride and told me what she feels. She's even willing to let me go, when she saw you."

"The way you talk about her, it seems that like she's a good person. She deserves you." She tried to smile.

"Atsuko, someday you'll learn to love someone too. And if we're really meant for each other, then we'll still be together in the end. Let destiny decide for us." I looked at her eyes.
"But now, it's clear to me who I'm in love with."

She hugged me and cried longer.
"I love you, Minami. Please never forget that."


"Takamina, you're late! And why are you dressed again like that?" It's the day of Yuko's big concert.

"Yuko, have you seen Ray?"

"Ray-san went to the stage already. Where are you going? You need to fix me first!"
I immediately went out of the room.

I arrived where the performance is. Ray is already singing up there. I took a deep breath and climbed the stage.

"Kai?" She was surprised to see me.
I was dressed up exactly like the first time we met, holding a bouquet of flowers.

"I came here for the girl I love. I'm here for you, Ray." I said.
She's speechless. Tears start dropping on her cheeks.
"I just hope you won't say this is lame." I continued.

"Kai!" She jumped to hug and kiss me.

"I love you, Ray. I'm sorry, I came late."

"This is the first time you said you love me.. Thank you, Kai." She cried.
"I love you too." The audience started cheering for us.

"But, I just heard you saying you still love Maeda-san?" She said in a low voice.

"That's what you get, when you don't let me finish my sentences."
I whispered to her ears and kissed her back.


I was excited on that first day of my work. Finally, I can start a career here in Japan. I turned down the offer from Paris because I wanted to be here with my friends, especially her.

"Eh, what's going on?" There's some commotion. I heard people chatting.

"They said there's a VIP having a photo shoot here."


"The top singer of Japan!"

Since I've been curious who beat Ray-san, I tried to check who. That person seems to be famous, everyone's screaming here.

"Oshima-sama! Can you please sign this!"

Oshima? I tried to go infront and got surprised with who I saw.

She's.. Japan's top idol?


I feel like I'm fainting. I rushed away from that scene. But later got captured by her from behind.
"Get away from me!" I tried to push her away. My head is spinning. I can't comprehend the things she's trying to say.

"Haruna, I'm in love with you!"
Except for those words. I can't believe what I just heard.

She handed me something before she left me. I opened it. It's a ticket to her concert.


I'm now here infront of Tokyo dome. I arrived late, the concert is about to end in a few minutes. I finally decided to enter. The ticket she gave me is for the front seat.

I saw her up there on stage. She's so different. She has that confidence in herself. She's radiating with that all white winter fur clothes she's wearing from head to foot.

"This will be my last song for tonight."
There's a silence in the audience as she began her speech.

"Three years ago, I sang this as my audition song. This song was meant for someone who matters most in my life. But unfortunately that person wasn't able to hear this. That person is the reason why Oshima Yuko is now here infront of all of you."


"So once again, I wanted to sing this for you."
Then she sang. I missed her angelic voice.
She's looking at my direction. She's not taking her eyes off me.

~ What should I do
When it hurts so much?

My most important one
Went a separate way

I just smile through my tears
As I let you go away ~


The concert finished. It's too crowded there and it's impossible for me to talk to her tonight. I think I'll just go home.

"Nyannyan!! You came!!"
She ran after me and hugged me again from behind.

"Nyannyan, does this mean I'm forgiven?"

"No." I responded.

"Eeehh.." She looked at me with puppy eyes.

"This means more than that." I answered.

"What do you mean?" We started to walk around.

"Remember the times we shared on the rooftop? You singing while I'm playing my psp." She nodded. "Before you introduced yourself, I already kept coming back to that place to hear your voice."
"I didn't come to your audition because I was afraid. I don't want anyone else to hear you. Because I know how good you are. I wanted your voice for myself only."
"It's me who must say sorry. I was being selfish. But when I saw how you touch people with your song, it's now okay with me to share your voice to the world."
"But.. I can't share you with them. Yuuchan is only mine."
"That last day we're together, I was waiting for you to tell me not to leave. If you only told me, then I will not go. Because I don't want to be separated from you."

"Nyannyan.. I'm speechless."

"This means.. I love you too, Yuuchan.
I loved you even before I saw you. I loved you from that moment I heard you."

I kissed her. And she kissed me back. I felt tears on her face. We shared a long sweet kiss.

"Oshima-sama! Where did you go?" We're interrupted by noises.

"Your fans are now hunting you. I guess, I have no choice but to kidnap my famous girlfriend tonight." I smiled.

"Girlfriend?! You mean.."

"Yuuchan, you're still slow. I can't believe you're Japan's..."

She kissed me again to shut my mouth. "Go kidnap me! I won't tell the police or the media. You can also do things to me if you want.." She teased.

"Yuuchan, pervert!!"

Then we called a cab.
"Ne Nyannyan, have you seen what Takamina did on stage? I wonder if you'll also dress up as a guy and do that for me." She grinned.

"Ehh?? In your dreams!!!"

We both laughed as we went home together.


"Yuko! Hi!"

"Aachan! What are you doing here?"

"I'm meeting my movie partner in this cafe today. After you forced me to sing that time, many of my fans liked it. They requested me to have a musical movie."

"Oops, sorry about that. So, how are you and.."

"Minami? Well, I admit I still love her. But she's right. If we're meant to be, then we'll still end up together someday." She smiled.

"As for now, I will focus on my new project. I will sing with all my heart to reach that person meant for me." Then, she looked around.

"Oh, I think it's him over there. I must go. Send my regards to Kojiharu!"

Before I left, I watched her go to the table where the guy is. He's.. eating cakes? His looks resemble someone I know. Except for the height and hair color. He stood up and greeted Aachan.

"Kuu, desu! Yoroshiku ne!"

I guess Aachan's prayers were answered quickly.
When the heart sings, the feelings will surely reach its destination. I thought.

Home.. finally.

"Okaeri... Yuuchan."
« Last Edit: May 01, 2014, 12:42:04 PM by kuro_808 »
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Offline kuro808

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Entry #5

From the ripe old age of ten, I was completely fascinated by one thing. It was the sole cause of 13% of all human deaths worldwide. It astounded, fascinated and horrified me at the same time. How it’s made from you but aims to destroy you. How quick your own body comes to hate you. One minute you’re completely fine and then the next, you’re not. Instead, you’re on the way to meet Death. Like a murder.  And the murderer was cancer.

At that innocent time of my life, I didn’t know anyone who had cancer. It was like a myth. I’ve heard stories about people contracting this condition, like malaria or HIV, but I’ve never come to know anyone close to me to experience it first-hand. Yet, it was a daily occurrence, constant campaigns on television or on the street.

Help fight cancer. Help us win the war.

Like it was a pandemic, like it was the end of their world. But why should I have cared. It wasn’t the end of mine.

It wasn’t until I was seventeen, seven whole years later, that I would come to know someone personally who had cancer. Someone who would change me and my life as I knew it, indefinitely.


The first time I met her was definitely a special moment in the midst of an ordinary day. Alone, I sat at my desk during lunch, with my bento box and my own copy of Shakespeare’s ‘Romeo and Juliet’. I would tell myself it was because I was too good for my juvenile classmates, but in truth, I just didn’t want to make friends. No one approached me and I was too shy to approach them, then a year passed since the beginning of high school and it was already too late. I was known as ‘The Loner’ and that title encapsulated me.

I pretended to be engrossed in the book, but I had already read the same sonnets at least three times.

“My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep; the more I give to thee,
The more I have, for both are infinite.”

Romeo, Act 2, Scene 2.

At that moment, I wondered, would I be able to face such a love so endless and selfless. Would I sacrifice everything for something that I knew could not come true.


The voice was so frighteningly close that I couldn’t help but jump, facing the person who evaporated in front of me. She sat at a desk which was always empty, like she belonged there. The girl smiled impishly at me, her shining teeth gazing at me, as if she knew me. My first impression of her was ‘what a freak’.

“My name is Kuramochi Asuka.” she said, her eyes glittering as if she found a new toy.

I was so stunned that I just replied out of conditioned politeness; “I’m Nito Moeno.” 

“Nito Moeno.” she mulled, as if tasting my name. “You have really pretty ears.”


“Can I bite them?”

Then, as sudden as a snake attack, she leapt forward and sank her fangs into my tender ear. I screamed rather girlishly and loudly. However, she paid no heed to my scream or the students looking at us, and just continued nibbling by ear, sending shockwaves through me body. She held me, constricting me and I was trapped.

 From then on, I’ve been a constant and willing victim.


After lunch, the teacher announced to the class who she was. Kuramochi Asuka, a returning student who had to take a year off school due to health issues. The desk in front of me originally belonged to her.

“My name is Kuramochi Asuka. My life goal is to graduate from high school. Please take care of me.”

I heard the whispers after her brief introduction and simple yet unusual goal. After the commotion she caused, there was no way anyone wouldn’t be interested in her, but her eyes were focussed on me and that just made it worse. I just wanted to blend in. I wanted nothing to do with her.

However when she sat in front of me, I couldn’t help but stare at her hair. Though black, it glistened in the sun. It captured me like the cool dark night, a common yet granted sight that could calm any wavering heart. Like stars or the moon, her hair was so close yet so far. If social boundaries didn’t prevent me from doing so, I imagine that I would have reached over and stroked my fingers through the thin strands and let myself become entangled.

The bell rang and I almost jumped out of my seat. To others I might have just been sitting there, but my insides instantly withdrew. My skin suddenly felt not my own and a whole new sensation emitted from my nerves which made me want to instantly retreat.

All of a sudden, Kuramochi Asuka spun round, her hair almost, teasing, tantalisingly, whipping me in the face. For that moment, my rationality flew out of the window and I could have easily just stayed and watched her smile. However, like any human, my body reacted instinctively. Adrenaline rushed through me and I ran away. Quickly diverting my gaze, I gathered my things and retreated from the class without even looking back. It wasn’t until I was outside when I felt an insatiable pull and looked towards the window next to my seat. There, I saw Kuramochi Asuka looking at me with a gaze I couldn’t recognise, a gaze which I could now imagine in a second. A rush filled me. It was new and frightening. Yet, though I didn’t want to admit it, it was exciting. I hoped that I wouldn’t have to see her anymore.

However, she was there the next day. Honestly, what did I expect? We had school and it wasn’t like Kuramochi Asuka was going to disappear.

“So tell me about yourself.” she asked as soon as I was settled.

“What is there to say?” I replied, because I didn’t stick out in any way and her seeking me out was not helping me. I was used to being alone.

“Your hobbies, your likes and dislikes.”

“Why do you want to know?” I never did like anyone to know too much about my personal life. They call it personal for a reason.

“I just want to know.” she honestly answered, which for some reason annoyed me. Maybe because honesty wasn’t a quality that I had, especially towards myself.

“I like reading.”


She asked like she knew I had a secret. It unnerved me. That was why I didn’t like others to know about me. They could use it against you. However, she looked at me so earnestly that my mouth twitched with the desire to talk.

Finally I spoke about one small secret. “I can make perfumes.”

“So that’s why you smell so nice!”

Even though the comment was brash, it brought a strange heat to my cheeks.

“I’m crazy about pro-wrestling.” Asuka said.

“Wrestling?” It was unexpected, however it seemed odd things suited her.

“The feel of skin slapping against skin, throwing each other, violently expressing their individual desire to win. Don’t you think that would be amazing just to experience that close bond to someone you’re supposed to fight against?”

“I guess.” I didn’t really understand what she was talking about; but that glitter in her eyes when she spoke about her passion made me want to agree.

“I like you Nito Moeno.” she said. My name sounded so different and yet so familiar from her lips. “I hope we can become great friends.”

As unlikely as it initially was, she began to grow on me, like a fungus growing in the most unwelcome conditions. However, persistent was another one of Asuka’s qualities that made her so strong. And I knew, deep down, I just wanted someone to accept me. Before I knew it, we were part of each other’s world.

We had recently taken to having lunch on the school roof. Asuka said it was the place she felt most free in this institute. I just thought it was a nice place, where I could feel like I was living while being kept safe within the school fences.

“Kobashi Kenta is my hero.” said Asuka as she picked at her bento. “I wish I could just see him live.”

I turned to Asuka, whose long hair was tied in a tight braid, as she stared out towards the city. I remember how a few weeks ago I wanted to become tangled in those knots. In contrast, my untied brown hair blew softly in the breeze.

“Why don’t you go to a match if you love him so much?” I asked.

“Alas, I cannot.” Asuka acted, as if she were part of Romeo and Juliet. “I blew all my money away.”

“On what?”



Asuka’s cancer was classified as leukaemia; cancer of the blood. To be specific; acute lymphoblastic leukaemia. Blood constitutes for 7% of a human’s body weight. Imagine if 7% of you didn’t want to be you. Honestly, we must have days that we didn’t want to be ourselves. If 7% of the days we were alive, we didn’t want to be ourselves, it doesn’t seem like much. However, in medical terms, it was a lot. In cancer terms, it was enormous. That’s probably because; those with cancer tend to have fewer days to live.

At twelve, Asuka’s blood decided to hate her. However, thanks to years of vicious radiation and vigorous treatments of chemotherapy, they announced the cancer was gone. At seventeen, Asuka was cured. When I say cured, I mean a lasting remission, a.k.a. absence of detectable cancer cells in the body or what we like to call, ADCC (which I later discover is also an abbreviation for the Abu Dhabi Combat Club – Submission Wrestling Championship). This gave her a year to fully recover and catch up with her studies.

However, cancer was not the only thing that defined Asuka. Her favourite sweets were green tea mochi. When she truly smiled, her eyes would curl into moon crescents. Her favourite season was winter. She could be very kind but extremely blunt. She supported the Saitama Seibu Lions. Her hands felt so warm against mine.

“Do you know what it’s like to be in love?”

“What?” I replied, watching Asuka cling onto roof fence, as usual.

However, Asuka didn’t return a word and instead decided to climb the fence. I exclaimed when she jumped over the rail with an ease that made me hideously frightened.

“Asuka!” I cried. “Get back here!”

She didn’t listen to me. It’s not like she usually did anyway. So I ran to the fence and through the gaps, clung onto her fingers with the sole purpose of anchoring her to this world. I was terrified. Yet Asuka was just casually leaning against the fence while she stood at the edge of the five floor building. 

“I want to have the overwhelming joy, that endless desire.” she said as the wind caught her hair. “Scream at the top of my lungs that I AM IN LOVE! I want to say to someone that they are the one, and for them to say it back. I just want to be completely, inexplicably, wonderfully in love.”

Asuka turned back to me with her glittering eyes.

“Do you get what I mean?”

Honestly, at the time, I didn't. I was too hysterical to think.

“Have you ever wondered why people congratulate cancer survivors by saying things like ‘you won the battle’?” Asuka continued, as if I wasn’t there. “I may have looked messed up back then, but it wasn’t a battle for me. I just kept living.” The fear escalated in me when Asuka glanced down, as if something was tempting her. “But maybe my body unconsciously wanted to fight. It wanted me to be healthy again. No one wants to be unhealthy. Except if you want to ditch school.”

I stared at her incredulously. Does having cancer make you casual about death? Maybe people said she had won the battle because she had already danced with death and she had won. Now she was immortal.
However, that’s not the case. In one second, the gift of life could easily be lost.

Finally it all became too much for me.

“Please come back.” I pleaded.

When Asuka looked at me, the shine in her eyes disappeared and I felt she was finally seeing me. In seconds, she stealthily climbed back over and I immediately held her, mostly to prevent her from climbing again and partly because I had to make sure she was with me. I didn’t even notice it was the first time I had embraced Asuka.  I held on so tightly that my arms hurt, the pain showing me that Asuka mattered. But then something happened that made my heart stop and made me pull away from the person I thought I knew.

She kissed me.

It may have lasted only a second, and it may have tasted sweeter than any chocolate, but it instantly changed the relationship I was used to knowing. I had completely lost my grasp on everything I thought I understood. So, I did the first thing I always did when I lost control.

I ran without looking back.

Asuka didn’t follow me but her face was constantly in my sight. The look that changed from surprise to despair, probably matched my own. That expression haunted me all the way home and then I was inhabited by my guilt. I rejected a girl who had cancer. I was the worst.


I took the next day off, feigned I had a cold. Even though it was a lie, I needed rest because that night I did not sleep a wink. Sleep is impossible when you can’t stop thinking. I stared at my phone. The background was of Asuka smiling, showing both rows of pearly teeth. She had changed it for me and I just couldn’t be bothered to return it back to the original neutral grey wallpaper. As I stared, my heart constricted with a familiar pain. The same feeling I have when I lie, when I know I’ve done wrong.

I was an utter idiot.

However, it happened so intensely fast that I felt it was ridiculous. Who falls in love with a complete stranger, at first sight? This wasn’t Romeo and Juliet. This was real life. So in denial, I had just pushed down the feelings and hoped it would fade away. Yet, I couldn’t tear away and I just fell deeper. I wish I was more honest with myself.s Unlike Asuka and her cancer, my emotions won over me.

However, this time I wouldn’t let my fear get the better of me. Grabbing my phone again, I typed my message quickly before my doubt could catch up.

‘Can I come over today? I want to talk.’

Relief washed over me. I didn’t know if it was too late, but it was worth a try.

However, after an hour of no response, I was starting to lose hope. My despairing thoughts made me wonder if I really was too late, that Asuka was truly hurt by me. That thought, made me curl into a ball and cover myself with the heavy duvet. I breathed until the air was hot and I was slowly suffocating. I couldn’t bear to allow myself to even look at the light, that’s how ashamed I felt. I should always remain alone, in the dark. That way I don’t hurt anyone, especially myself. At that point, I still thought of myself. That’s how selfish I was.

Suddenly, I heard my phone vibrate on my desk and I immediately shot out of the covers. Her text was the cool air that hit my desperate lungs.

Asuka replied with one word.


It was simple and blunt, but it unlocked the door to many possibilities. All I had to do now was push the door open.


Five minutes had passed until I had the courage to ring the bell. Even though I was frightened to the point it felt like a boa constrictor was around my throat, I rigidly waited until I heard the door click open. Like an angel, the house lights shined around Asuka making her glow as she stood at the doorway.

“Hi.” she simply said.

“Hi.” I croaked out, the constrictor tightening.

Asuka allowed me to enter her home, even though I wouldn’t have blamed her if she slammed the door in my face.

It probably makes me a bad person, but I expected Asuka’s house to be much different from what it was. It was either going to be a grandly decorated or the bare minimal, the opposite sides of the spectrum, especially when it came to costly cancer treatment. However, it was an ordinary home, much like my own. Dotted with pictures of Asuka and her parents, they showed her life at different stages. When she was a baby, her first day at elementary school, when she was lying in a hospital bed, when she went to Hong Kong, when she had no hair, when she entered high school. She looked different in each picture, except from one common factor. Asuka was smiling all the way through. However, if it was forced or genuine, I didn’t know.

“Mom, Dad, this is Nito Moeno.”

I stood in the living room, tense as Asuka’s parents faced me. From the way they looked between us, I knew that they suspected something. Did they know about Asuka’s feelings? Did she cry to her parents about my rejection? I just had to wait until they threw me out.

However, they suddenly smiled.

“So this is the girl you’ve been talking about?” her father said.

“She’s very cute.” said her mother.

Smiling must have been a family trait. As they fawned over me, I thought about what they said. Kuramochi Asuka talked about me. I was still part of her life. Plus, their reaction was different from what I imagined, much like their home. They welcomed me with open arms. I was initially shocked, but then I realised. Their only daughter nearly died. How could they deny her the simple pleasure of love?

“Okay kids, we’re leaving.” they announced. “Try not to wreck the house.”

A part of me wished for them to stay because their presence dispersed the awkward atmosphere. With their departure, it meant we would have to talk and expressing my feelings wasn’t something I was great at.

Sitting in Asuka’s room was like outer space. It was new, filled with diverse sights, and oxygen was lacking for me. Even though it was like any other high school girl’s room - except for a simple oxygen tank gathering dust in the corner - it was still like a different world for me. I wanted to explore but didn’t know how to take the one small step.

“So, do you come here often?” Asuka suddenly said, smiling at me.

Her attempt at light humour ignited something in me that had sparked when I first saw all those photos of Asuka.

“Don’t.” I snapped. “Don’t force yourself to act as if everything is fine. I hurt you. Why won’t you show that?”

For the second time, I caused Asuka’s smile to disappear and I wished I took it back. It wasn’t until later that I realised that’s why Asuka smiled and why her parents could be so strong. More than herself, Asuka smiled for the sake of others.

“I was hurt.” Asuka said, with a hint of disappointment. “When you ran, I cried on the roof. Your rejection hurt more than my first chemotherapy.” I know Asuka wasn’t saying that to be spiteful but guilt radiated within me all the same. Asuka looked at me with eyes that glittered like stars, elements of the sky which tragically would never last forever. “But I can be happy because it worked out. You’re here now.”

She reached and touched my hand and I felt a pulse from the centre of my body. It was as if my body, my entire skin and blood, was drawn to her touch. Asuka was the Sun and I was the Earth, continuously going along the axis around the bright star. It riveted through me, making all my senses concentrated, the heat from her hand burning me. Then on impulse, I kissed her. Again I felt the shocking pulse, but this time it came from my lips as Asuka gently pushed against them, like she was activating something within me. People say first kisses are unforgettable. Personally, I liked our second kiss far more.

When we slowly broke apart, my heart was beating so furiously I thought I was going to die from a heart attack. I opened my eyes and Asuka was smiling ever so gently and so purely that I wondered if she really was an angel.

“See.” Asuka whispered. “Everything works out in the end.”


It was at night when my mother called from downstairs to answer the phone, saying it was for me. I was just doing my homework, getting ready to start the week all over again. I hadn’t seen Asuka over the weekend because she came down with a cold on Friday night, so I was excited for the first time to go to school. It had been three months since we began our relationship and I’ve never felt so content. Simply having Asuka in my life was a blessing and I was thankful for every day.

As I headed downstairs, I wondered who was calling me and why.

I wish I didn’t answer it.

I barely recognised Asuka’s mother. Her voice - dry and desolate as a desert and emotionless like a machine - told me to come to the hospital. I’ve never been hit by a hammer, but I could imagine it felt like the sudden impact on my heart. I told my mother and she immediately drove me to the hospital. Finally I saw Asuka. It had only been three days since I’ve seen her but she was a completely different person. With tubes in her nostrils and around her arms, like tiny see-through snakes with their venom pumping into her, Asuka still managed to weakly smile at me from the bed.

“That’s right Nito-san; I am completely, inexplicably, wonderfully filled with cancer.”


I stared at her while she lied there on the hospital bed, waiting for my reply. I wanted to say something, but I didn’t know what I could say.

You’ll be fine. You can fight it. You won’t die.

Those empty words that I wanted to regurgitate just wouldn’t come to my lips. There was nothing that could convey what we both knew. It was the end of the life we once knew.

It was only a week ago that we had made love for the first time. It was awkward and nerve-wrecking, but it was the most magical moment I have shared with anyone. I remember how I felt her frantic heart beat against my hand, her hot breath in my ear and her naked body heating against mine. I thought it would be forever imprinted in my memory. But I had already forgotten what her naked body looked like, how warm it was, how smooth it felt. If I had known that night was going to be the last time I saw that beautiful form, I would have savoured it more, touched her more, felt her more against my body. I just selfishly wanted more.

I’ve heard that we need pain to experience joy. But why do I need to know the existence of one thing to know the other exists. I’ve never had frog legs but it doesn’t affect the deliciousness of sushi. I did not need to know what pain was because I was completely content before.

However, there are different levels of pain. Like air or God, pain cannot be measured or seen, but we know it exists. When you go to the doctor, when they assess your pain, you have to rate it out of one and ten, one being a slight prick and ten being a true whopper. When I was seven, I had fallen off my bike, managing somehow to flip over and so crashing my body onto the ground. As painful as it was, luck was on my side as the ground was padded with thick grass. However, I did break my ankle. At that moment, when I was asked how much pain I was feeling, through my hot tears and body shaking sobs, I said nine. Being young and usually careful, it was the most painful experience I had up to date. However, now I truly know what a nine pain feels like. But it wasn’t physical. This time the pain was emitting from depths within me and ripped from the inside out.

I wondered, was this a sign of heartbreak or cancer.

Saying nothing, I climbed into the bed, held her fragile body, and sobbed with all my might, reverting back to my seven year old self.


Asuka soon stopped going to school. However, as a health human specimen, I still had to continue attending. But any chance I could get, I would visit Asuka, no matter her state. If she was in a drug induced sleep or throwing up her dinner, I was there. My grades suffered. My mother worried and Asuka’s parents insisted that I need not have to come every day. However, I did because every moment I’m away from her, or even when I’m with her, I was afraid it was going to be the last. No matter how relieved I felt being away from the disinfectant smell or the sight of dying people, the fear clung to me.

However, her cries were like bones rubbing together, making my body shiver. Inhaling, I took a step into the room but instantly froze. I caught a glance at the massive needle that was the length of my hand. Instantly I retreated and slammed my back against the wall next to the door, shaking my lungs back into life.

Even after the nurses left, it took me an hour before I had the courage to enter again. 

Sleep can be so deceiving. If I didn’t see the bags under Asuka’s eyes and her sunken cheeks, I would say she was a healthy young girl. Instead her body was riddled with cancer.

She must have sensed my presence because Asuka’s eyes fluttered open.
“Hi.” she breathed.

“Hi.” I said. “You should go back to sleep.”

“You know I had a dream about you.” Asuka said.

“Tell me about it.” I said.

Asuka signalled for me to lean in, and I did. Leading with my ear, I brought it to her lips. However, instead of a weak whisper, I felt her teeth bite surprisingly hard on my lobe. I yelped and drew back in reaction. Asuka smiled innocently and I could only puff my cheeks.

“You’re so cute.” she said.

“And you’re so annoying.” I replied, but still lied on her bed.

“Have you heard this quote?” Asuka asked, while I stroked her hair. “In the end, we were all just humans. Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness.”

“Who’s the quote from?”

“Scott Fitzgerald.”

“Well tell him he’s a miserable old fuck.”

Never in my life had I sworn and now I know why people do it. They use it when there is no other way to express how they are feeling through any other words. I grin at Asuka. Her shock dissolves into a smirk. Then, we burst into gallants of laughter.

“I’m going to say it again. Nito Moeno-san, I love you so much.”


Immediately I felt a rush of red reach my ears and I immediately bolted upright. However, Asuka was smiling, lightly rubbing the heat of my ears. A tall young girl, with wide eyes, a bucked smile and long straight black hair stood at the doorway. I stood up as she made her way towards. I didn’t like it when people saw our intimate moments. Our time together was private and I wanted to keep it special, between only me and Asuka. 

“This is Maeda Ami.” Asuka introduced.

She took a deep bow. Then, she took her wig off.

I must have gasped because the two of them started to laugh.

“Everyone has that reaction.” Ami grinned. “It’s made from my sister’s hair. When my hair started to fall out, she completely shaved her head and got it made it for me. That’s why it looks so real.”

“What are you doing here Ami?” Asuka asked, patting the empty spot so Ami could slip next to her.

I hate to admit it, but I was sort of envious. Sometimes knowing that Asuka had cancer made me afraid to touch her, like she was going to break. However, seeing Ami so casually lie next to her while Asuka held her shoulders with one arm, reminded me that Asuka wasn’t fragile.

“What are you going to use your wish for?” Ami said.

“Wish?” I heard myself say.

“You know, from the ‘Make a Wish Foundation’. You can be utterly selfish without anyone judging you because you happen to be dying. Asuka said she still hasn’t used hers from the first time round.”

“Maybe I should use it to get your hair back.”

“They’re genies, but they’re not magic. They can’t bring back what’s dead.”

I don’t know if they heard my intake of breath but my heart skipped a beat at those words. Even though they laughed, I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to tempt death.

“What about you?” I asked Ami, attempting to change the focus so I could feel better. “Do you have a wish?”

“I do and I know what I’m going to use it for.”


“I want them to make me a strawberry jelly mound that is as big as the Tokyo Tower. Then from a helicopter, I want to jump out and dive into it, mouth open and swim in the jelly until I am so full that everything that comes out of me is pink. Then I can literally say that I’m so sweet that my piss tastes like strawberry jelly.”

There was a moment of silence that can only be described as stunned. Then, Ami smiled, then Asuka and like a chain reaction, we burst into laughter at the ridiculousness of the wish. We laughed so loud that a nurse had to escort me out of the room. As I left, I turned and saw that the nurse was hiding a smile. Who can blame kids for enjoying their life?


Two weeks later, Maeda Ami died in her sleep.

It was my first time. Someone I personally knew had died. I would never see her again.

Dressed in black, Asuka and I silently watched as Ami’s casket was lowered into the ground. We weren’t crying. Our tears had already dried from the service earlier where we saw Ami lying so peacefully as if she were asleep in her bed. We cried with her family, offering words of comfort to Ami’s sister who still bore her shaved head. Now, it was time to silently say our final goodbyes. As we watched, Asuka and I held hands and though we didn’t say it, we were thinking what everyone was asking themselves. How long did we have left?

Even though there were many nights I would awaken from the sound of vomiting, in the morning Asuka would say to her mother that she slept like a baby. When someone you know lies to someone else, chances are they have lied to you too. So, when Asuka said she was fine, I didn’t believe her.  After the funeral, we were meant to go back to the hospital, but instead I decided to stay a bit longer. I guided Asuka around the large graveyard, passing the dozens of different gravestones that marked different individuals.

“Let’s go home.” I heard Asuka say behind me.

“Why? You need fresh air and its beautiful here.”

And it was. The graveyard was designed in such a way that it was more like you were walking through a wooded park, with the autumn season dyeing us in sepia tone. Plus, where else could you feel so at peace, where not even the sound of breathing could be heard.

However I heard Asuka’s steps stop behind me. It made me turn and for the first time, I saw true anger on Asuka’s face.

“Don’t look at me like that.” I said. “I understand what you’re going through-”

“No you don’t.” Asuka interrupted. “You will never understand because you’re not me.”

Those words made me experience a distance I have never felt with Asuka. It made me want to cry even though I had no more tears left.

“You get to have a healthy body. You don’t have to go on every day with the fear that you might not live tomorrow.” she cried, with quiet streams running down her face. “You don’t have to worry your parents every living day. You don’t have to be scared of anything. You don’t have cancer.” she screamed the last part, liberating herself.

Asuka was truly sobbing at that stage, and she knelt to the ground, the dry leaves crumbling under her like the ground underneath my feet. However, it wasn’t about me. I think if I couldn’t have supported Asuka then, I would not have been able to after. It was the first leap I needed to prepare myself for every possibility, ready for anything that may be thrown at us. I was ready to catch anything, including Asuka.

Slowly, I approached her until I was just in front.

“Are you crying?”

She glared at me with a ferocity I had not seen in a long time, even if her weak body was kneeling on the ground. “What does it look like?”

“Then you’re alive.” I kneeled until I was at the same level as Asuka. “You’re right, I don’t have cancer. And I’m never going to say I wish I had cancer because I’ve seen how awful it can be.” The truth was seeping out of the holes that I could no longer plaster. “But don’t ever say I’m not scared of anything. One of my greatest fears is that you’ll abandon me. That I’ll be alone. That at everything I look, I will remember and I will be washed by such pain that I would wish I could join you. And I’m scared I would do it.” I grasped her cold hand, hoping she would feel how much I loved her. “So even though I don’t know anything and I’m being utterly selfish, please don’t give up. Don’t be scared to live for the things you love.”

Then I held Asuka as she sobbed, as if she were the seven year old me.


Asuka finally used her wish. To watch a Kobashi Kenta wrestling match. It certainly for a day to remember, with the sour odour of sweat and excitement, it made me wonder why Asuka liked this sport so much. However, when I saw the enthusiastic cheers of the people around us and from Asuka, the buzzed atmosphere was contagious and I soon found myself shouting.

Kobashi Kenta won. Cheers and boos erupted around us. It was deafening. And when I turned to Asuka, she was crying. Silent tears that endlessly fell and only seen when the light reflected in just the right places. I wasn’t sure what classification her tears came under, but I didn’t ask. I just watched. Even though she cried, I couldn’t help but think she was beautiful.

The Foundation people really knew how to grant a wish because Asuka was even allowed to go back stage and meet Kobashi himself. He even let her smack him right in the chest. I’ve never seen her look stronger. On the way home, Asuka said that it was the best day of her life.

Since that day, her state declined.

Asuka was a permanent resident at the hospital. She lost all her hair, her weight fell until she seemed hollow and her normal healthy person glow was replaced by a clammy sheen. Even so, we lived day by day as normal as possible, as if the next day wouldn’t be the last.

“It’s such a nice day, let’s go outside.” she said one afternoon.

I went to get the wheelchair but she reached out her hand. I looked at her and she shook her head. I glanced down to her pale, bony hands that should have belonged to a sixty year old women rather than an eighteen year old girl. I nodded and held her as I’ve always done.

By the first flight of stairs, she was breathless. By the second, she had already taken two breaks and she needed more. However, Asuka was determined and I would follow through until she said otherwise.

Finally, we stepped outside and onto the rooftop. It was similar yet different to the school rooftop. There were a lot more plants. Maybe they were using the lives of plants to replace the people they lost in this hospital.

Asuka hobbled to the fence that surrounded the roof.

“It would be so much easier if I just jumped.” Asuka said as she stared outwards, like that afternoon which seems so long ago. “Instant death. Easy.” I imagined countless people had thought the same thing.

“If you did that, you know I would come after you.”

Asuka turned to me and smiled. “How romantic. Very star-crossed lovers like.”

She opened her arms wide, as if she was standing in front of the Titanic. She was Rose and I was Jack. She was Juliet and I was Romeo. Star-crossed indeed.

“Moeno, can I just tell you something.”


She suddenly screamed at the top of her lungs, “I LOVE NITO MOENO!”

At the end of it, she was gasping for air and I was by her side, completely blown away. She glanced at me expectantly. I took her place. Standing at the edge of the rooftop, I stared past the buildings, ignored the lives below us, and gazed at the infinity and the future we might have. It was blinding and terrifying and beautiful. I took the plunge.



We were hit by rounds of bad news. The chemo was no longer working. The radiation wasn’t doing great. The steroids were little more than useless. No matter how aggressive the treatment was, the cancer fought back. Asuka’s condition was deteriorating fast and they had to do something. There was only one option left. A bone marrow transplant.

However, as soon as the doctor brought it up, Asuka immediately contested.

“No, I don’t want the surgery.”

“But Asuka, please, it’s your last hope.” her mother pleaded.

“I don’t care!”

“Don’t you understand Asuka?” her father insisted. “If you don’t do this, you’ll die.”

“So be it.”

That was the last strike. Asuka’s mother broke down and ran out the room, with Asuka’s father quickly chasing after her, but not before throwing Asuka a furious and disappointed look.

“Why don’t you want to do it?” I asked.

“It’s too much to put them through all this.” she said. “It’s expensive and it’s not going to work. I should just die.”

I slapped her. I would imagine this was unthinkable, striking a dying person, but I couldn’t help it. I had never felt such a sudden anger and frustration.

“How can you be so selfish?” I demanded.

“I believe what I just said was the complete opposite of selfishness.”

“Don’t you see that we don’t want you to die? Your mother, father… me. I want you here for as long as possible. I want to grow old together. Maybe I’m a match” the last part I said in a whisper.

Asuka reacted so fast it was like she jumped into my throat. “I can’t let you do that. It’s an extremely dangerous procedure and it’s unlikely you’ll be a match-”

“I don’t care.” I said. “I’m younger and have a better chance of recovery. And we don’t have time to wait. We have to at least try. Please Asuka.”

Finally, seeing my earnestly, Asuka sighed. “We can to do the compatibility test.” 


I was a match.


As we were both wheeled into the operation room, it was strange. Even though we had so many things in common, this was the first time I’ve felt this connected to Asuka. I was finally going to experience the same operation as Asuka. A part of my body was going to physically be within hers. We would literally be one. 

I knew the anaesthetic was kicking in because my vision was fading and my mind began to fog. The last moment before I completely lost my conscience, I reached my hand towards Asuka. She did the same.

I’m not sure if we reached each other, but when I slept, I dreamt of the two of us. It was of just us, sitting on the school’s roof, staring at the setting sun, holding hands. It was so mundanely, boringly, real. However, as the blue melted into a golden orange, I felt the heat from Asuka’s strong grip. Finally, in this place, I was enveloped in a sense of peace. And even though I just kept staring at the constantly changing sky, I knew Asuka was smiling next to me and I was happy.

It was completely, inexplicably, wonderfully, beautiful.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2014, 12:48:58 PM by kuro_808 »
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Offline kuro808

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Entry #6

The guitar hums softly as Sayaka mindlessly thrums a soft chord, fingers moving without purpose while she hums a melody with the uncoordinated notes. Soon, her head starts bobbing with the rhythm, the melody in her mind leaving through her fingertips as soft notes linger in the still air of the empty music room. It’s impossible for her to hear anything as she keeps strumming along, the faint hum growing in volume and strength only to be broken by the sound of the sliding door opening.

Her hand stops abruptly, fingers deadening the vibrating strings as she turns to face the girl in the doorway with a bright smile on her face.


Watanabe Miyuki grins back - teeth and all - as she settles down next to Sayaka, a stack of papers in her hands.

“Hi, I was looking for you.”

Sayaka can only feel her smile growing bigger until she’s afraid that her swelled heart was going to burst with the words, veins burning as a light flush fell over her cheeks. “What for? Did you miss me already?”

The other girl laughs, her long brown hair airily moving along with the shakes of her shoulders - it’s fascinating to watch and Sayaka stares, entrapped by the captivating movements. Only a light fist bumping her own shoulder breaks her out of the reverie as Miyuki continues on and replies, “Of course, it’s not as if we just saw each other five minutes ago.”

The idle chit-chat lasts for only moments before the paperclipped stack of papers is thrust forward into Sayaka’s hands; a request by the teacher for the student council president. “There’s a girl in our grade that’s been in the hospital for awhile and she asked the handouts be taken to her,” Miyuki hums softly, the contemplative look on her face matching the own befuddlement that had taken hold of Sayaka’s own features. “It’s strange because I don’t recall ever seeing her.”

Setting the guitar down, she takes the paper and nods in acceptance of the task, “Well, I guess it’s about time I introduce myself to her then.”


The hospital is a bleary place despite its bright white walls and the motivational posters and quotes that decorate the walls. There isn't much to see besides that except for the patients dressed in white gowns and IV drips stuck into their arms as they moved around listlessly - sometimes in the company of a family member, often alone. There’s a pang of guilt in her conscience as she ignores the doleful looks of the sick patients who look at her healthy self with something akin to jealousy while the nurse leads her deeper into the belly of the hospital.

When they finally arrive, its in front of a heavy door hidden in the crook of the hallway - something Sayaka never would have been able to find if she were by herself.

“Visiting hours end in an hour,” the nurse says as she opens the door to let Sayaka in. She stands idly by the entrance, glancing around the double room with narrowed eyes as pity overwhelms her. The room was divided with a thick white curtain in the middle, two beds and a nightstand on both sides of it. One of the beds, closest to the door, was stripped bare and laid with new sheets - obviously unused for awhile now. The other, however, was occupied by a pale girl reading a book, an IV drip attached to her arm and another fairly large machine hooked into her in various places. There was a window near the bed as well, partly opened to let in the cold air of the interim period between winter and spring.

“Miss Yokoyama, you have a visitor. This is Miss Yamamoto Sayaka, your classmate."

Sayaka sidesteps the nurse and tries hard not to stare at the vibrating machine; instead, she matches the bright smile the girl, Yui, gives her.

"I'll leave you two be then." The nurse gives her one last smile before exiting the room, the door closing behind her with a soft click. Sayaka stands, the stack of papers heavy in her hands as she tentatively takes a step towards her sick classmate. It's strange - Yui looks completely healthy. Her hair is still glossy and smooth, and her body seemed energetic and full of life, albeit a bit pale and skinnier than normal.

The confusion on her face must’ve been obvious because Yui sets her book down and tries her hardest to force the smile to stay on her face. 

“Cancer, pancreatic, to be exact.” 

Sayaka nods, unable to say anything as Yui continues on.


Her mouth drops into a small 'o' as she fidgets uncomfortably under the steady gaze of Yokoyama Yui, fighting her thick tongue to say something to comfort the other girl. A small smile plays on the other's lip and Sayaka can only receive it with a frown.

"How long?" She asks and immediately regrets it as Yui's face turns contemplative, the light mood sinking heavily as she shrugs.

"Maybe a year, shorter depending on how rapidly it spreads."

There's more details, but Sayaka was unwilling to hear it and Yui looked unwilling to tell. Instead, she walks over and sits on one of the chairs, setting the stack of papers on the nightstand next to her. She's careful not to knock over or block the only photo that decorated the otherwise clear nightstand.

"You wanted these?"

Yui nods, leafing through the papers before setting them back down with a sigh. "Might as well cram some knowledge into my head before dying. I don't think heaven likes stupid people."

Sayaka smiles, sadly but kindly, "I can help you if you'd like."


An hour goes by quickly with the rush of math and science, equations and numbers in a neverending cascade that makes her head spin. Yui's bright, quick to pick up detail and expand upon it, and quite frankly, Sayaka was impressed.

“Guess it was impossible for us to try and finish this in a hour,” Yui laughs as Sayaka rubs her temples, brain frying from overuse.

“Yeah, I guess so,” she says, headache subsiding as the messy papers are gathered up and stuffed into the drawer of the nightstand - away from view. “I’ll come back tomorrow, help you finish?”

She’s not quite sure why she makes the offer, but the smile on Yui’s face makes her glad she did.

“I would love that.”


“How was it?” Miyuki asks as they walk on the sidewalk down the hill of the hospital and towards the housing area of the city.

“It was fine. As fun as visiting a terminally ill patient at a hospital can get, I guess.”

“You were smiling when you came out. Is she cute? Cuter than me?” The other girl asks, only half-joking as she prods Sayaka’s arm with a light finger. Sayaka shrugs it off, a teasing smile playing on her lips as she feigns innocence and walks faster away from the girl.


“H-Hey!” Sayaka hastens her steps as Miyuki runs after her, the thumping of her boots softened by the small layer of snow that covers the sidewalk. When Miyuki finally does catch up, a pout appears on her face and Sayaka can only reply with her own silly grin.

“That girl you were with yesterday - she’s cute, you have good taste in girls.”

Sayaka tries hard not to tear up as the hot tea burns through the wrong direction and into her lungs, shoulders shaking as she hacks up the searing liquid. Yui tries equally hard not to laugh at the poor girl but fails miserably as her thin body shakes with the effort, hands covering her grinning lips in vain. When the coughing finally stops, she can only manage a sheepishly embarrassed look and a desperate flailing of her hands.

“We’re not-”

“-Girlfriends. I never said you were, you merely thought that on your own.” Yui responds, eyebrows waggling playfully to Sayaka’s flustered distress.

Her face turns bright red as she pushes the math worksheets at the hospitalized girl, papers flying as her embarrassment only fuels her strength. “Shut up and do the math problems already.”

“It’s a compliment,” Yui laughs as she gathers the papers and twirls the pencil in her hand nonchalantly. “Take it as one.”

Sayaka takes another sip of the tea, trying to maintain her shattered dignity to little success.

"But you do like her, right?"

"I do."

It's an answer without hesitation and it gives her an odd sort of satisfaction to see Yui look so surprised.

The math problems go forgotten as they discuss Sayaka's lovelife - or lack of one, to be more accurate - and eventually it leads to questions about the only photo Yui has. It's a blurry photograph, an awkward polaroid with Yui and another pretty girl squished together, cheeks touching as they laughed at the camera and each other.

"That? That's a friend of mine."

Sayaka holds the polaroid closer, smiling at how happy the two looked. "You two must be close."

"We were," Yui says with a tired smile, her face twisted into a wry humorless one. "She was the one who shared the room with me."

"What happened?"

The answer was obvious, but Sayaka still felt the need to ask as she flips the picture, the words "Have a nice life," written near the bottom in a messy scrawl. There’s a signature too, but the prints are too faded to be read properly and she’s sure she would get the kanji all wrong anyways.

There's a heavy silence that enshrouds the two as Yui suddenly lays her head down into her arms, resting her cheek against the cool surface of the table as she stares outside the open window.

"She died last year, cancer too," Yui's voice is soft, almost nonexistent as she murmurs the answer. A moment goes by without sound before she completely buries her head into her arms, hands folded on top of her head. "Sorry, I feel a bit tired now."

Sayaka nods and gathers up the material, setting the polaroid down in it's rightful place before edging towards the door. "I'll come back next week." There's an apologetic smile on her face as she exits the room, but Yui doesn't see it - even if she does, there's nothing to acknowledge it.


When Sayaka decides to visit the following weekend, there's flowers laid on the stripped white bed: a cosmos, some clovers, and other flowers she didn't recognize. When she questions Yui about it, all she gets is a distant gaze and a small sigh as reply. There isn't much talking this time and she leaves without any answers but with too many questions.

"Why not ask around? Maybe the nurses know," Miyuki suggests over the phone.

"Doesn't seem right."

There’s a soft sight on the other side of the speaker, but she pretends not to hear the disapproval - the conversation’s done and Sayaka doesn’t want to drag it out further anyways. “Was the ramen shop next to the book store?"

Sayaka hums, nodding her head even though she knew Miyuki couldn't see her. "Yeah, it is. I'll be there soon, order the miso for me."

"I know, I know, it's your favorite."

She laughs, "You know me so well."

"We're practically lovers," Miyuki replies with a chuckle and all Sayaka feels is an unwilling blush creep onto her cheeks. Her heart thumps loudly, suddenly, without any warning and she tries hard not to let her voice go up an octave as she replies back in the most disgustingly sultry voice she can conjure, “Yes, darling, thank you darling.”

“That was gross.”

“You started it.”

“Don’t ever do that again, weirdo.”

Sayaka laughs, imaging the disgust that was for sure on Miyuki’s face.

“We’ll see.”


The flowers are gone when Sayaka visits Yui’s room again. Instead, they’re replaced by clean white sheets once more - folded neatly without a wrinkle in sight. Maybe it’s because the vibrant colors was gone that Sayaka finally noticed the monotonous white walls and how empty the room really was. It’s sad, she thinks, that someone would actually live and die in this room. It sure was sad.

“There you are!” Yui looks cheerful as she greets Sayaka with a big smile and a wave, completely different from the last visit. She does her best to return the smile - although it turns out more like a grimace than anything else, but she doesn’t think Yui notices or cares. “I was waiting for you. I want to escape.”

This time it’s Sayaka’s turn to be surprised. “Escape?”

Yui nods, “Escape. I want to buy more flowers.”

It takes a lot of begging and threats before Sayaka finally agrees to Yui’s request, but when she does, she finds herself staring at the happiest smile she’s ever seen from the other girl. Her hand pushes down the thin shoulder of the girl to keep her from bouncing up and down as she phones Miyuki, asking for a delivery of spare clothes.

“Flowers?” Miyuki questions over the phone, her voice incredulous and obviously skeptical at such a ridiculous request.

Sayaka shoots Yui a look, eyebrow raised.

There’s another nod from Yui, a more vigorous one, “Flowers. For Haruka.”

With a sigh, she returns to the phone and parrots, “Flowers for Haruka.”

There’s a moment of pure embarrassment for Sayaka as Yui leans over and inspects Miyuki closely, a hum of approval sounding from her throat.

“Watanabe Miyuki, huh? She’s cuter in person, good for you, Sayaka.”

There’s a chuckle and a murmur of “thanks” from Miyuki as she hands over the bag with the clothes. Oblivious to the unbearably awkward air, Yui pulls the curtain separating the two sides and gets changed. Sayaka can’t help but turn her head, eyes taking in the thin silhouette of the girl and all her previous embarrassment evaporates into dread; the silhouette frailer than the actual person and she’s afraid that a sudden gust from the constantly open window will send her crashing to the ground in shattered pieces.

“Don’t look, pervert.” Yui chides from behind the curtain, “Although I can’t blame you for wanting to see what I look like.”

Miyuki guffaws as Sayaka blushes a bright red and turns back around hastily.

Another minute ticks pass before Yui walks out from behind the curtain. The blue jeans, originally Sayaka’s, are a good fit, but baggy everywhere despite being skinny jeans. The plain t-shirt with a band logo, also Sayaka’s, falls loosely off her shoulders and only help to accentuate the unnatural thinness of the girl. Yui smiles, almost sheepishly, her fingers playing with the worn fabric, “Could I borrow a jacket?”

Sayaka rightly ignores the purple bruisings that mark its way up Yui’s arms and gently nudges Miyuki’s side with her elbow to get her to close her open mouth.

“Here,” she says before slipping off her jacket and draping it across Yui’s shoulders. She pretends not to see Yui flinch as the rough material touches one of the ugly bruises and steps back to be in line with Miyuki once more. Reality crashes into her unmercifully as she takes another look at the girl with a painfully beating heart; she was dying and there was no way to help her.

Miyuki smiles, kindly but sadly, “You look pretty.”

It’s adorable, in a pitiful sort of way, to see Yui blush and become flustered at the simple compliment.

Sayaka nods in agreement when Yui’s flushed face meets hers, “Real nice.”


It turns out Yui had been the one leaving flowers on the empty bed in her room; flowers for Haruka. A sense of dread falls on Sayaka as she suddenly realizes that severity of her situation, but a smile from Yui is almost enough to banish the gloomy future. Almost.

She slows her pace so she’s walking behind Yui and Miyuki who have decided that they were long-lost best friends of a sort and immediately dived into ceaseless conversations - Miyuki being the more animated and talkative of the two with Yui laughing at every lame joke or story she told. It was sweet and she smiles in a way a mother would at her child as she watches Yui.

Sweet until Miyuki drops the bomb.

“Who’s Haruka?”

The smile on Yui’s face falters almost immediately and Sayaka resists the urge to pull Miyuki aside and smack her a couple of times.


“The girl I love.” There’s a sad smile on Yui’s face and something twists and snaps within Sayaka’s own chest at the sight of it.

The jacket hanging listlessly off her narrow shoulders as Yui trudge onwards; head bowed, shoulders hunched, thin frame swaying with the wind that threatened to knock her over at any moment. The shriveled look is heartbreaking and Sayaka can only manage a small pat on her back before moving to the stricken Miyuki with an outstretched hand.


Cosmoses, irises, and a single rose; Yui held the bundle of flowers close to her chest to protect them against the strengthening wind, feet stepping in sporadic rhythm towards the hospital once again. The time for questions had passed long ago and instead, Sayaka walked steadily behind her - a stance of a protector, her eyes wide for any signs of abnormalities. Miyuki had hooked her arm Yui’s, the crook of their elbows interlocked as she tried to help carry the weight that rested heavily on Yui’s shoulders and mind.

It’s a miracle that nobody catches them when they sneak back into the hospital, skillfully avoiding the incoming doctors and other staff members before ducking into Yui’s room.

Sayaka and Miyuki watch as Yui immediately checks the flowers, a sigh of relief escaping as the flowers were still intact, beautiful and vibrant amidst the dreary white of the room. She takes them from the bundle, one by one, with gentle hands before placing them on the empty bed with care. When she finishes, the flowers are laid spread on the white bed, the tips of their stem all gathered on one point with the rose lying in the middle.

“Haruka liked roses the best,” Yui explains. “I told her they were boring and overdone, but she still insisted they were the best. ‘I want to be boring and normal,’ she said, ‘I don’t want to be special.’”

Yui stands back, nodding at her work before turning back around.

“I don’t want to be special.”

Life keeps Sayaka away from the hospital: school, extra classes, band classes, student council. I’ll go visit tomorrow, she told Miyuki as she filed the papers in the empty student council room.

She reasons with herself; tomorrow I’ll go. And if she’s busy tomorrow she would go the next day.




Miyuki slaps her one day. She can only look back in surprise, a hand to her red cheek.

“Stop avoiding her.”

“I’m not-”

“-You are.”

Sayaka stays silent because it’s true. She knows it’s true but she tries to reason against it anyways.

“I’ll go tomorrow.”

Miyuki pushes her harshly, glaring.

“I’m going today.”

She nods, unable to give a response except for silent tears that suddenly drip down her cheek. She’s a coward, a good for nothing; she doesn’t want to go because she’s scared of what happens next. God, what a coward she was.

“Tomorrow,” she says firmly, wiping the tears from her eyes with the sleeve of her uniform. “I’ll go tomorrow.”



“Hi, it’s been awhile. How have you been?”

Yui smiles at her from her lowered bed; the thick hospital blanket obscures everything but Sayaka’s certain that there are more bruises, more wires, more chemicals dotted within the girl. The window is closed and there’s nothing but the stifling air and the hum of machinery to break the silence between the two.

“I’m sorry.”

The smile on Yui’s face doesn’t falter as she shakes her head - or tries to - and does a painful shrug in response. “It’s alright.”

The words are a heavy punch to Sayaka’s gut and she suddenly feels her throat close up, eyes moistening even in the dry air of the hospital. Words threaten to overrun her, twisting and turning in the torrents of her stomach and upwards to her throat until the chokehold of tears stop them from leaving; instead, they’re stuck, unable to leave, unable to do anything but sit clumped in her throat.

“I’ve been thinking a lot, you know. There isn’t much to do now except think and that’s all I’ve been doing - thinking and thinking and thinking.”

She nods. Yui doesn’t notice.

“And I realized: I don’t want to die. I really don’t want to die,” Yui turns to her, the smile twisted into some strange form that Sayaka can’t understand - doesn’t want to understand. And so she stares and keeps staring, the mangled clump within her throat growing larger and larger until she can’t breathe anymore. “I want to live. Haruka said the same thing you know, and I never really realized what she meant until now. Dying is scary, hell to what others say, it’s scary and I’m frightened.”

The words are a torrent. Yui doesn’t stop, Sayaka can’t stop it.

“I promised Haruka I wouldn’t regret life. I promised her and I couldn’t keep it; she’s going to hate me,” the strange voice creeps up an octave as hysteria digs deep. Painful claws of contradicting emotions dig into Sayaka’s own heart and she has to stop herself from wanting to flee the room.

“She’s not.”

Came the meek reply.

Yui ignores her.

“She’s going to hate me - God, I did everything she told me not to,” there’s tears now as Yui cries unabashedly, unknowing that there were running down her cheeks, soaking the white sheets with the warm droplets. Only tears and a cracked voice fill the room and Sayaka just sits there, hands limp by her side with her own tears wanting to spill out.

The machine starts beeping and the steady hum turns into a full cacophony of noise as Yui coughs - flecks of red dye her fingers and land on the white sheets. Sayaka jumps, afraid. Yui looks equally frightened as she clutches at her chest, fingernails digging into the pale skin as her eyes widen and breath hastens.


What does she do? She reaches out, hand moving forward to hold Yui’s outstretched fingers-


A nurse bursts into the door and holds Yui down. A doctor follows.

Sayaka stares, open-mouthed. Another nurse clamps her hands on her shoulders and pushes her out the door with only a soft “Sorry” before shutting the heavy door behind her.

She stands for awhile, staring at the door with her hand still outstretched.


She ends up in front of Miyuki’s door.

Something overwhelms her as soon as Miyuki holds out her arms and she falls into them crumbling.

There are no words, but there are sounds. Sounds of Miyuki whispering hushed, sounds of her own shaky breath, sounds of the world still revolving - thriving - outside the apartment.

Silence was only for the dead.


The thrum of the machine is louder this time and there are more tubes attached to Yui. There’s an oxygen mask that she refuses to wear hanging limply around her neck. Sayaka tries to ignore that she looks like a corpse - skin and bones, she tries to ignore that her skin is a deathly pale white, tries to ignore the very fact that Yokoyama Yui was dying.

“How are you feeling?”

Yui attempts a smile, “Fantastic.”

“Good,” she returns the grin. She’s gotten better at acting lately, forcing a natural smile when she feels like she wants to break down and cry instead. Even Miyuki believed her when she said she was alright.

“I want to talk today. The whole time,” the words are short, the sentences gaping as Yui struggles to breathe. “This is the last time I’ll be able to.”

Sayaka nods. “Alright.”


“Haruka had Ewing’s sarcoma. Bone cancer, rare too. She was lonely and,” Yui stops, looking at the ceiling, “And I guess I was too. We got along, became friends, and then I got cancer. Karma’s a funny thing - I broke an arm and ended up getting cancer instead. It was scary at first, but Haruka cried a lot more than I did - she cried for me.” 

There was a pause as Yui holds the oxygen mask over her nose and mouth for awhile, shallow breaths of concentrated air expanding and contrasting her chest in a regulated pattern. She pulls the mask off again, but leaves it in her hand this time.

“I loved her a lot and I still do. I didn’t have the time or courage to tell her until she was dying - dead. Her family was nice, patted my shoulders and called me ‘a good kid.’”

Sayaka nods, the corners of her mouth twitching downwards in a valiant fight to keep the smile on her face. Yui laughs - an airy noise that sounds more like a choke - and shakes her head. “It was hard, finding the motivation to live another day without Haruka. I wanted to kill myself a lot of times - too many times. I’m glad I didn’t.”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” Sayaka says. Her voice is quiet, barely audible above the thrumming machine, but it’s sincere and Yui cracks the largest smile she can manage.

“You love Miyuki, right?”

The sudden question takes her by surprise, but she answers it anyways. “I do.”

“Do me a favor and kiss her.” Yui closes her eyes. “Kiss her and tell her you love her.”

She nods.

“Don’t forget me. Don’t forget Haruka. Death only happens when there’s no one to remember you - and I’m not ready to die yet, not for a long time.” There’s a smile on Yui’s face as she opens her heavy eyelids and looks at her, eyes shining.

“Have a nice life, Sayaka.”


It’s Saturday and there’s a call from Miyuki at 4 PM.


“She’s dead.”


Sayaka’s doesn’t remember what happens next.

She’s in front of the heavy door, panting and out of breath as her heart threatens to leap out of her chest. Miyuki’s on a bench, arms cradling her head, crying. Doctors flee from the scene with grim faces, a nurse passes her with a sad frown and hands her a polaroid picture.

The picture is still the same; Yui and Haruka are still laughing and the words “Have a nice life” still remains printed with light lead on the back of the photograph. Yui’s name, written in pencil, is etched beneath Haruka’s faded signature.

There’s a new phrase too and she imagines Yui’s teasing smile as she points towards Miyuki and says “Kiss her.”

Sayaka laughs with tears running down her cheek.

The funeral is small: Yui’s parents, Miyuki, and Sayaka.

She doesn’t cry as she watches the casket be lowered into the ground, she doesn’t cry when she throws her handful of dirt on top of the casket either. Miyuki tries not to cry, but Sayaka knows she’s failed by the sniffling and repeated wiping of her eyes.

(“Dirt got in them,” Miyuki retorts, eyes red and brimming).

They leave after a polite exchange with Yui’s parents, the latter thanking them over and over for being so kind to their child. They invited her to stay, Sayaka declined - parents should have time to mourn their child and she refused to intrude upon it.

They’re walking down a path now, the jacket that Yui had borrowed weighing heavily on Sayaka’s shoulders. Miyuki looks back and holds out a hand, “Let’s go.”

She takes it and continues walking with interlaced fingers keeping her sane. She pulls at Miyuki, bringing her closer, and kisses her softly.

“Thank you.”

They would have time to talk later. They would cry more later, laugh more later, kiss more later. It would all happen later, again and again.

Again and again until the world stopped spinning.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2014, 12:52:28 PM by kuro_808 »
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Re: AKB Fanfics Contest 2014- SIGNUPS Updated 3/9/14 (PRIZES ANNOUNCED)
« Reply #10 on: May 01, 2014, 12:27:25 PM »
Entry #7

I would smile every time, thinking of how we got together. It was back in 2009 when we’re learning the new moves to our new single at the time. River was definitely a complicated piece to learn with all the stomping movements. Even I had a hard time learning those steps.  Of course she was no exception. In fact, she was really frustrated with herself because she couldn’t learn those difficult maneuvers. I believe she was on the edge of giving up, but her responsibility and personality wouldn’t let her do that.

We were growing closer to one another, but River had brought us to the next level. I tried to help her as much as possible so that she can get it. I was determined to help her get those movements down. I don’t want her to feel left behind or feel that she’s not good enough because she is perfect in my eyes. She works too hard to be where she is now, for it to be taken away.

During our practice in the theater, with the other members, my attention was only on her. We started with the opening stomps, but she messed up. The other members were also having a hard time keeping up with the movements. I showed them again, slowly, so that they can remember. I told them to start again and saw some girls improved. Those who got it down went to help the others. Everyone was in their own group, while she was alone trying. I don’t know why the other members won’t approach her. Was it because of her role or was it because they don’t want to disturb her?

She tried again, but tripped. I immediately rushed over to catch her, though I ended up falling as well. I’m glad I was her cushion, but then my whole backside hurt as a result. I checked her thoroughly to see if she was hurt anywhere even though she landed on top of me.

“Atsuko, are you okay?”

“Un, thanks, Minami.”

She said she was fine, but her face was really red. I reached forward putting my own forehead against hers to see if she was sick. She doesn’t seem to have a fever, but her face remained the same. We continued to look at each other until I noticed the other members weren’t practicing.

“Oi, why aren’t you guys practicing?!” I yelled at them.

“Um… we didn’t wanna miss this moment?” Mariko answered.

“What are you talking about?” I was confused.

She then pointed towards us, moving her index finger vertically. I turned to look at the same direction, noticing my right hand was trailing up and down Atsuko’s back. I turned back to Mariko.

“I don’t-“I quickly turned to my hand, still moving on its own. I opened my eyes wide in shock. When did I start rubbing Atsuko? No wonder why everyone was looking at us! I blushed hard, looking at Atsuko. I understand why she was red now.

“G-gomen Atsuko, my hand just… gomen…” I didn’t really know how to explain myself.

“Un, it’s okay.” She looked away.

“Are you mad?” I didn’t want her to be upset with me.

“As much as we all are enjoying this Takamina, we need our leader and her ace back.” Mariko said with a straight face, but I can see the slight smirk.

I waited till Atsuko got up before getting up, myself. We went back to our position and start again.



I was so in the zone that I forgot about the others not knowing the dance moves. I was halfway through the song when someone yelled out to me.

“Oi, Takamina, we don’t know those moves yet! Slow down, will ya?!” Yuko said.

“Oh… right, sorry guys…” I stopped dancing to turn towards them. They were all staring at me like I have 2 heads. I looked at Atsuko and she was blushing again. I look down at myself, but didn’t see anything weird except that I was sweating. I shrugged it off and continued showing them how to do it from the beginning.

“Okay, who got those down?... Good, please help the others then.” I said to them, though I notice Atsuko didn’t raised her hand. She was alone, yet again. I walked up to her asking if she needs help, but she refuses. I went a couple of feet in front of her and start dancing slowly, hoping that she was watching me. I repeated myself a few times before turning back to watch her.

She stumbles again, and had an angry expression on her face. I couldn’t stand there doing nothing, and so I walked up behind her.

“Please let me help you.” I whispered into her ears before taking hold of her hands. There was no distance between our bodies as I sing and move with her to the song. My heart was beating really fast, and I’m pretty sure there was a big blush on my face, but my main mission was to help her get the dance down.

“Okay, so you do this… then this… and finally that.” I said with my head on her shoulder, moving our bodies around. I repeated this same movement a few times so that she can remember.

“After the stomps, we do this together.” I showed her again with our bodies still attached. I noticed her warmth and can’t help, but hold her tighter. She smells so good, something that was distinctly hers, as I relax into her figure.

“Is this right, Takamina?” She asked, turning her head to the right, as I turned my head towards her. Our lips touched slightly, but it was enough for me to feel the electricity. We both looked into each other eyes as we were both shocked by the accident. It took us a few more seconds to separate our lips from one another.

I looked away blushing hard, reaching my chest with my right hand to feel the beating of my heart. It’s so fast that I would think I’m having a heart attack. I breathe in and out slowly, calming myself down, before turning to look at Atsuko.

Her back was facing me, so I can’t see her expression. Was she disgusted by it? Is she mad or upset with me? It was only an accident, even though I enjoyed those few seconds very much.

“A-Acchan?” I approached her slowly, not wanting to startle her.

“Hmmm?” She is still not facing me.

“I’m really sorry, it was an accident.” I bowed down, hoping that she would forgive me. I continued to stay in that position until she approaches me, and laid a hand on my shoulder.


“Hai?” I can’t read her expression.

“Did you like it?” She asked, looking at me straight in the eyes. I swallowed hard. Her gaze was intense. I wouldn’t be able to lie if she’s looking at me like that. I looked away, trying to avoid her, but she took hold of my face.

She was only inches away from me, but she wasn’t looking at my eyes. She was staring at my lips. I swallowed again, watching her licking her soft marshmallow. She’s tempting me, and I can’t refuse her. I want to kiss her. I want to make her mine.

“Yes…” I whispered, before capturing her juicy lips. The feeling from this kiss put me in a daze. I felt that there was nothing in the world that could stop me from tasting this beauty. The only thing, or actually, the only person can stop me is Atsuko herself. I pulled away, resting my forehead against hers. I don’t think I can get enough of this feeling. I held onto her hands, entwining our fingers together.

“Be mine, Minami…” She whispered against my lips, then leaning in for another sweet tender sensation. I wrapped my arms around her waist, bringing our bodies closer. I sucked on the bottom of her lip, and then gave her a peck before sucking on the top. I like the slowness of our kiss. There was no rush, there was just serenity.

I pulled away from the kiss to look her in the eyes. I hope she can see how much of an affect she has on me.

“Even though we’re not supposed to date in AKB… I don’t think I can keep myself away from you after this, Acchan. “



“Call me Atsuko, Minami.”

“Un, I-I’ll be yours as long as you don’t hurt me, A-Atsuko.” I shyly looked away, but held onto her left hand. I felt a squeezed, and turned to her.

“I won’t.” She said which such determination. It makes my heart flutters. We walked towards the changing room hand in hand to get our stuff.

“Wait, where are the others?” I asked, finally noticing that no one was there in the practice room when we left.

“They left a while ago when you were showing me how to do the River’s dance.”

“What? Really? What time is it?”

“It’s already 10pm, Minami.”

Wah, I didn’t know we stayed that late. How can I not be aware of the others leaving? I shook my head.

“Let me walk you home, Atsuko.”

“Only today?” She pouted. Oh my god she is sooo cute!

“Mainichi Acchan. Everyday Acchan.” I said proudly, and she giggled.

“Hey! Why are you laughing?” I pouted, walking ahead. She pulled me back and hugged me from behind, resting her head on my right shoulder. She snuggles to my neck, and whispered the three words that left me speechless.

“I love you~” She embraces me tighter, afraid that I would run away after hearing those words, but it only makes my heart beat louder. My heart beats only for her, and only she can make me happy.  After those words, it only assures me that I feel the same way, and that I don’t ever want to be separated from her.

I tried to pull her arms away from me, but she only tightens it more.

“No, Minami, forget what I just said…” She panicked, and probably tears up.

I turned around in her arms to look at her. I wiped away her tears and kissed her. She responded to my kiss immediately, which makes me smile.

“I love you too.” I peck both of her cheeks, her eyes and forehead, then her lips again. I gaze up at her and was greeted with the most beautiful smile ever. I felt that this smile is and will only be for me.

I took hold of her hand again and started walking towards our apartment. It’s pretty convenient that we live close to each other. We walked hand in hand, swinging our arms back and forth like kids.

We giggled, filled with happiness, and very much looking forward to the next step of our relationship.


“Minami~” I felt someone hugged and snuggled up to me from behind.

“Hmmm?” I smiled, knowing exactly who it was.

“What you doing, sitting here, and spacing out?” She asked, but I can tell that she’s also pouting.

“Just thinking of how we got together.” I held onto her hands that were wrapped around my midsection. I turned to my right and smiled sweetly at her. Awww she’s blushing, still as cute as ever, even though it has been almost a year since we’re together.

“Mou~” She pouted. I took the opportunity to kiss her inviting lips, but not without checking if we’re alone first.

“You’re so irresistible, Atsuko.” I pecked her again.

“The others are waiting to have lunch with us.” She unwrap herself from me and started walking towards the door. Eh? That’s the response I get? Acchan is such a tsundere sometimes, but I stood up to follow after her.

As I stepped out the door, Atsuko was there waiting with the other couples. I automatically reached out to Atsuko’s left hand and entwine our fingers together. We are all walking towards the usual restaurant. Mariko’s and Tomo’s couples are on the right side of Atsuko, while Yuko’s and Sayaka’s are on my left.

Not long after Atsuko and I got together, we found out that there were other couples too. Mariko-sama was with Miichan, Nyan Nyan with Yuko, Tomochin with Tomomi, Sayaka with Sae, and Yukirin with Mayuyu. Though, the last couple only occasionally ate with us.

We reached the restaurant and went into our private room. We all ordered food before talking about our new music video shooting for today.

“So who is excited to shoot Heavy Rotation?!” Yuko, as always, was the one excited the most. She also deserves the wrath of her girlfriend.

“Itai, Nyan Nyan, why?” Yuko pouted, but Haruna ignored her. She deserves that, alright. If you are in a relationship with someone, then you should be committed to them. Instead, Yuko likes looking, kissing, and touching other girls.

I like the song, but I’m a little iffy about the video. It seems everyone is kissing each other and I don’t like that at all, but thank god we get to kiss our respective partners, so I’m okay with that.

“That’s what you get, Yuko.” Sayaka said, as we all laughed at Yuko.

“What? Why?”

“For being a perverted squirrel.” Miichan said.

“For liking other girls.” Sae input.

“For looking at other girls.” Tomochin commented.

“For kissing other girls, chiyuu.”

“For touching other girls.” Atsuko added.

“For playing around too much.” Mariko advised.

After everyone took a turn saying what’s wrong with Yuko, they all direct their attention to me.

“What?” I asked, didn’t like the spotlight.

“Aren’t you gonna say something too?” Yuko asked. Does this girl like to be abused? She wants me to say something too after all that? I shrugged.

“For not committing yourself to Haruna. You should only look, touch, kiss, like, and love her only. Your attention shouldn’t be on any other girls because she should be the only one in your eyes. Your kisses and touches should only be for her and her alone. By not doing that, you’re basically telling Haruna that you don’t appreciate her being your girlfriend and that you don’t treasure her like she treasures you.”

Everyone looked at me weirdly and had their mouth opened. Why are they staring at me like that? Even Acchan is looking at me like that.

“Minami~” Atsuko jumped on me and hugged me tightly. She starts planting small kisses around my face, making me giggled.

“Atsuko, what’s gotten into you?”

“Committing to you~” She gave me the smile that’s only meant for me. I smiled and leaned in to give her a kiss.

“I’ll hold you to that.” I pecked her lips again, and then looked at the others. Each of them is in their own zone kissing each other.

“It seems your words affected them too.” Atsuko rest her head on my shoulder as we watch the others.

“Alright you guys, enough already!” I felt embarrassed seeing them being intimate.

“Awww look, Takamina is shy.” Mariko teased, but I ignored it.

“Just be glad that we get to kiss our partners in the video, right guys?” Sayaka asked.

“Yep, but isn’t that a shame for Yuko?” Miichan, in troll mode again.

“Itai! Nyan Nyan, what did I do?” Yuko glared at Miichan, but said girl stick her tongue out back.

The food finally came to us. We chatted as we’re eating, having fun talking about our relationship, and having fun seeing Yuko get hit. All of us finished and went to pay for our food. Mariko, Yuko, Sae, and I paid for ourselves and our partner’s, while they are waiting outside.

We all took held of our partners hand and walked towards our shooting for the video. We reached our changing room and got into our clothes. We all headed to the filming area, as things were getting set up.

“Hai, girls, please come over to shoot the bed scenes.” The director asked us.

We headed over, lying on one big bed, as the director instructed us to act cute and play with one another. The bed scene was over, giving us ten minutes break before the next scene. Everyone was influenced by the song, as they all kissed each other.

Atsuko starts approaching me as I backed away. I can’t risk letting the staff members find out about us, but she kept coming closer. She puckered her soft lips, aiming for mine, but I dodge out of the way. Finally, she got a hold of me, giving me the smile that I can’t say no to. I gave in and let her kiss me. A smile was apparent on my face, but Atsuko seemed happier as she laughs out loud.

We changed into our cat-like suit to shoot the eating scene.  Since she and Yuko was the ace, they had a few scenes together. Yuko was awfully close and touchy with my Atsuko. Haruna and I both share a look of irritation towards the squirrel. Then, what happened next had cracked my heart.

Atsuko leaned in to kiss Yuko as the latter did too. Haruna and I looked at each other sharing the hurt, sadness, and understanding of how we both felt. Our friends gasp at the scene and looked at us with worried eyes. They tried to calm us down, but nothing they can say can erase what just happened.

“I’m done for the day, guys, I’ll text you later.” I said and left to the changing room. I got into my own clothes and walked out the door.

“Minami, wait!” I heard her voice, but I don’t want to see her at the moment. I’m afraid I’ll say nasty things if I don’t escape now. I ran as fast as I can out of the building.

“Minami! Minami!” She yelled louder, but I won’t stop, I can’t stop. I saw a taxi and quickly hopped in, telling the driver where to go.

I paid the driver as he dropped me off at my apartment. I looked over at Atsuko’s place before getting into the elevator. I got off and went to my door, unlocking it. I stepped in and closed the door. I made sure to lock it with the chain so she won’t be able to get in.

I head to my room, change into my pajamas before getting into bed. I let out a deep sigh as I don’t know what to do. Thinking of earlier hurts me. I tear up, not bothering to wipe it as more came gushing out.

*Mae e susume, tachidomaru na, mezasu wa hi ga noboru basho  kibou no michi wo aruke* River was playing from my phone. I chose and set that part of the song because that was my and Atsuko’s.

I don’t have to check to know she’s calling me. The song kept repeating over and over again. I had lost count because she had called that much. Finally, the song stopped, but there was another ringing. It indicated that I have a message.

I checked my text, seeing that it was from Atsuko. I debated whether I should read it or not, but chose the former.

To: Minami
From: Atsuko
Subject: Sorry
I’m really sorry Minami!
Please let me explain!
Please forgive me!
I don’t want to lose you…
Don’t leave me…
I love you <3


Reading her text brought more tears to my eyes. I grab my chest with my right hand where my heart is beating. It hurts… but it still beats for her…


Third POV

After the kiss between Atsuko and Yuko, the director yelled cut. The girls snapped out of their daze, realizing what they had just done. They quickly turned over to find their girlfriends, but the girls were not there. Instead, the only people there are their friends with worried looks.

“If you two are looking for them, they are gone. They left to the changing room, wanting to go home.” Mariko said with disappointment.

Both Atsuko and Yuko felt guilt as they each ran after their respective girlfriend. Acchan saw Takamina walked towards the front door.

“Minami, wait!” She called out to her girlfriend, but instead of stopping, said girl ran away.

“Minami! Minami!” Atsuko chased after Minami, trying to get hold of the girl to explain, only to be met with a taxi driving away.

She walked back to the others, seeing Yuko came back as well, but with no Haruna.

“Where’s Takahashi-san and Kojima-san?” One of the staff asked, making both Atsuko and Yuko cried.

“They got sick, so they went home first, sorry about that.” Mariko explained. She then walked over to Atsuko, hugging the girl and patting her head.

“I made a mistake, Mariko, now she won’t even talk to me. She ran away from me!” Acchan cried harder, holding onto the older member. Mariko looked at her friends, as they all didn’t know what to do.

It was very clear in the restaurant that they had all agreed to commit to their partners, but within the same day, two of the couples made the same mistake. Worst, they made the same mistake with each other in front of their girlfriends, right after they had shared their passion with them.

“Just give her time, Atsuko, Minami still loves you. She ran away because she doesn’t want to say something that she’ll regret…” Mariko was trying to calm the younger girl.

“S-something she’ll r-regret? Like b-breaking up with m-me?” Acchan didn’t want to think about their separation as tears kept dropping.

“No! She won’t break up with you, Acchan, its Takamina.” Miichan tried to cheer her up.

“The same Takamina that values commitment… Itai!” Sae yelled out.

“That doesn’t help!” Sayaka reprimanded.

“Why don’t you try calling her, chiyuu?”

“I’ll try that.” The ace wiped her tear away and took out her phone. She dialed the captain’s number, but said girl didn’t pick up. She called bunches of more time, then, finally settled for texting.

“She won’t pick up, so I texted her.” Atsuko said with a child-like manner.

“Just give her time, okay?” Mariko comforted the girl.


A couple of days had passed and it was evident that neither the AtsuMina couple nor the Kojiyuu couple reconcile. Haruna would always be with Takamina, talking to her, while Yuko and Atsuko got shunned by them.

During the practice for Heavy Rotation dance, Acchan kept looking over at Takamina, but said girl didn’t mind her at all. She was aware that her girlfriend was looking at her, but she wasn’t ready to talk to the girl yet.

Yuko, on the other hand, approaches Haruna, trying to talk to her and act all lovey dovey again. Though, Nyan Nyan wasn’t having any of it either. Their friends can only watch on as the couples weren’t talking to their respective partners.

The leader finally gave everyone a two hours lunch break before coming back to practice more. The group took this opportunity to dine together, like old times, hoping that this would help.

Haruna walk with Takamina who walked with MariMii and SaeYaka, leaving TomoTomo with Atsuko and Yuko.

“Have you guys tried talking to them?” Tomochin whispered causing both the girls to frown.

“We tried, Tomochin, but we only got ignored.” The ace tears up.

“I don’t get why they can’t forgive us!” Yuko let out her frustration.

“What if it was Takamina and Haruna that kissed? How would you two feel?!” Tomochin wasn’t trying to make them feel bad, but it was the truth. This silences the squirrel for she knows she said the wrong thing.

Up ahead, Mariko was doing the same thing, trying to get the girls to forgive their partners.

“I know what they did was inexcusable, but don’t you think they deserve another chance? I know you two still love them very much. “

“Mariko, you should know that it hurts…” Takamina uses Mariko’s name, which tells them that she was being as serious as ever. That statement was enough to end the conversation.

They all reach the restaurant and went into their private room. Everyone was standing, for they didn’t know the seating arrangement. Minami and Haruna shrugged, sitting down next to each other with the captain being on the right. The other couples sit down with their partners, leaving an empty seat on each side of the girls, forcing Atsuko and Yuko to sit in those seats.

They started ordering food, but after that, it was quiet. No one knows what to say or dared to say anything. The silence was uncomfortable for everyone.

“So Takamina, what will you do after practice, since we get off early today.” Miichan tried to start a conversation.

“After practice I’ll go home.” The captain answered tiredly. This causes Atsuko to frown. She wanted to be with Minami, but said girl still haven’t forgiven her.

The ace reaches out under the table to take hold of Takamina’s right hand. The leader was surprised by the sudden contact, but didn’t do anything, for she also misses their touches. Acchan took this as a good sign, smiled to herself.

The food came for them to eat. Atsuko reluctantly let go of Minami’s hand, so they can both chow down their food.

After everyone finishes, Takamina stood up to leave the room, but not before asking Mariko and Sayaka to come with her. Their girlfriends were looking at them, asking ‘what is going on’ silently. Mariko and Sayaka shook their heads because they don’t know, while Minami just look at Atsuko with no expression.

The girls left, leaving the others behind. The older two members continue to follow the small leader to the cash register.

“I’m gonna head back to the theater first to check on the other members and… I’ll pay for her so she doesn’t have to.” Minami spoke up, surprising the other two girls, and paid the bills for her and her girlfriend’s.

“Why don’t you tell her that?” Mariko asked, with an approval nod from Sayaka.

“Because… I haven’t work things out yet…” Takamina, now, has a frown on her face.

“Okay, but please make it fast. We don’t want to see our favorite couple fight, or worst, break up…” Sayaka started.

“You two are perfect for each other, and I’m not just saying that, Minami. You two really complement each other and understood each other more than anyone else can… Don’t let this one small mistake ruin that, please.” Mariko finishes.

“I’ll head out now, tell them for me.” Minami left with furrowed eyebrows. The two older members watched her retreating form and sigh to themselves.

They head back to the room. The older girls felt uncomfortable with the other’s eyes on them.

“What happened?” Miichan inquired.

“Where’s Takamina?” Tomochin asked.

“She went back to the theater first to check on the other members.” Mariko answered, but her eyes were only on Atsuko. The ace sniffed, wiping the tears from her face. They all went to the cash register to pay, and as Atsuko took her wallet out.

“You don’t need to pay, Acchan.”

“What? Why?”

“Takamina already paid for you.” Mariko gave the lady money for both hers and Miichan’s before turning to Atsuko with a smile. The ace’s heart starts fluttering after hearing the new info.

“You guys will be back together in no time.” Sayaka gave her a thumb up, which cause everyone to nod. Acchan smiled for the second time that day, knowing that her relationship with Minami is still there.

They all headed back to the theater for another intense practice.


Mariko, Miichan, Tomochin, Tomomi, Sayaka, Sae, and Haruna all gathered at a cafe, waiting for the leader to come. The seven of them suddenly received a message earlier that morning to meet up.

They had taken notice of Atsuko and Yuko not being there, which can only mean that they will be talking about the sad subject.

The captain walked in with her casual clothes except with big sunglasses covering her face. It was obvious that Minami had cried to sleep or didn’t get much of rest for the past couple of weeks.

Minami ordered some things first before facing her friends. She let out a sigh and took her glasses off. The members around the table gasp at the face in front of them. The captain eyes were red and full of dark bags underneath.

“Takamina, you look awful!” said Tomochin.

“Gee, thanks a lot.” The girl chuckled.

“Are you okay? Do you need something?” Miichan spoke up, worrying about the other member of no3b.

“No, I’m fine, thanks for asking.” Takamina took a sip of her coke after the waitress had brought it over.

“Takamina, what have you been doing?” Haruna was also concerned.

“I’ve been thinking… a lot…” The girl didn’t show any emotion, making the other members nervous.

“About?... Itai!” Sae got smacked by Sayaka, earning eyes roll by the others.

“What did you come up with, Minami?” Mariko got straight to the point.

“I… still love her… and want to get back with her-” The leader started.

“That’s goo-“ Miichan interrupted.

“But!” This outspoken word hauled everyone.

“What’s wrong Minami?” Mariko worried.

“I will stop my feelings.”

“We don’t understand.” Tomochin and the others were confused.

“People can only deserve so many chances, and I planned to give her two more…” Takamina spoke as everyone nodded for her to continue.

“I will keep a mental list of how many times she made a mistake. I love her and want to be with her, but now I’m afraid of getting hurt. I will try not to fall in love with her any more than I already have to prevent myself from pain.”

“What? That is ridiculous!” Sae said, but was stopped by Sayaka.

“Go on Minami.” The older member coaxes.

“From now on, she has to be the one to prove to me that she does treasure me like I treasure her. I will hold back my feelings until I am sure that she will only see me.”

The members still showed confusion as they are trying to understand what their captain meant.

“In short, Atsuko only got three chances. She lost the first one, now she only got two left. If she makes two more mistakes then maybe it is time for me to give up and move on.” Minami said with seriousness, the same seriousness when she was leading the whole AKB48.

All the members now understood, and are very worried for their friend Atsuko. It’s not that they don’t trust her or have faith in her, but people make mistakes even after the first one. The ace will definitely have a hard time with this since she’ll be stepping out into the real world with her acting career. They must give the girl a heads up, for they do not want to see this couple break up.

“I know what you guys are thinking and I don’t want you guys to tell her about it.” She looked at them deadly in the eyes.

“I want this to be on her own, for her to do what she wants instead of holding herself back because of this knowledge. If she’s going to make a second and third mistake… then that’s that.” Takamina finishes her thoughts.

The members looked at Minami then at each other, finally at Haruna.

“What will you do Nyan Nyan?” Miichan asked, since said girl hasn’t made up with her girlfriend either.

“I will… do what Takamina is doing.” Haruna nodded in determination, turning to Minami with a smile.

“What? You too?!” Tomochin was shocked and so are the other members.

“I don’t want to get hurt either and it seems Takamina had really thought long and hard about this… I agree with her, and I don’t want you guys to tell Yuko either.”

The others were worried about Atsuko at first, but now they are more worried about the squirrel, due to her personality.  They were all in their own world, trying to understand what went through their friends mind to have this sudden changed. While doing so, both Minami and Haruna texted their girlfriends to come to the café.

No more than fifteen minutes, Atsuko and Yuko rushed in to be by their girlfriend’s side.

“Minami, I’m really sorry, I promise this won’t happen again. I was in the moment and so I did that. Please forgive me.” Atsuko hugged Minami and cried on the girl’s right shoulder.

“I forgive you Acchan, but don’t let that happen again, okay?” Takamina said lovingly, patting and smoothing the aces head.

“Un~” Atsuko gave Minami the smile that always make her swoon. The captain wiped away the tears and smiled back. She looked over at the Kojiyuu couple seeing the squirrel in Nyan Nyan’s arm. Haruna saw her looking, gave her a nod.

The other members just watched on as the two couples made up, having mix feelings about it. They are happy that their friends got back together, but what they had learned earlier made them really worried. They don’t think they want to find out the real feelings behind those loving smile. The thought of it being fake made them all shivered.

They hope for the love of god, things will return to the way it was before this incident. They prayed that there will be no more mistakes for they don’t want to witness another changed in their friends.


Two months had passed since Heavy Rotation. AKB are now working on their new single Beginner. The girls were in the theater practicing really hard till they are all covered in sweats, especially Takahashi Minami because she’s the leader who has to work extra hard.

“Alright everyone, you get two hours lunch break.” The captain said, making everyone rush to their own group to figure out where they wanted to go.

Acchan came up from behind, embraces Takamina in a tight hug. The ace had noticed that ever since the incident, Minami had shown less affection. It seems she has reverted back to when they were just friends, which causes Atsuko to become more aggressive, and the captain shyer.

The girls had switched roles and this amuses their friends greatly. They stood to the side to watch the scene before them.

“A-Acchan, I’m sweaty and stinky!” The leader stuttered and blushed at the same time.

“Hmmm, I don’t care, I love your scent.” The ace snuggled to the side of Takamina’s neck and inhaled, causing the shorter girl to shiver.

 Atsuko had also noticed that her Minami had stopped calling her by her name. She was and still is sadden by it, but this only makes her more forward.

“A-Acchan, yamete yo…” Minami whined cutely, struggling to get loose from her girlfriend’s arm.

“Hmmm… No… unless you give me a kiss.” Atsuko negotiate. She’s been missing the leader’s soft lips against hers. It’s not that they haven’t kissed. It’s just, now she’s the one who initiate them instead.

Minami turns even redder, stood there dumbfounded. She never thought Acchan would ask her for a kiss, let alone, in front of their friends. She noticed that the ace had been demanding lately, and she was completely fine with it, but that doesn’t mean she likes to show their intimate moment with the others.

Atsuko seeing Takamina stood still, not moving an inch, made her withdraw from the captain. Hurt was evident in the ace’s eye, but her face remains the same with a smile. Her acting skill was fully used in this situation as she doesn’t want anyone to see what she feels.

“I’m just joking, Minami.” Acchan laughs it off, but the leader knows better. She was about to walk towards their friends, when Takamina pulled her girlfriend back.

Atsuko was surprised by the sudden jerk, turns to look at Minami. The short girl was just standing there, looking down, hand holding onto the ace’s sleeves. She finally looks up at her girlfriend, but with puppy dog eyes, puckering her lips for a kiss. Acchan’s heart started to flutter at her lover’s cute action. She didn’t expect Takamina to comply to her wishes.

The ace smiled, leaning in half-way, waiting for her girlfriend to complete the other half. The captain closes her eyes, reducing the remaining distance between their lips. The kiss was soft and gentle, yet it was filled with love.  Feelings that were being conveyed by Minami were fully understood by Atsuko. 

The two girls separated their lips with a tint of pink covering their cheeks. They both smiled at each other genuinely, reaching out to hold their partner’s hand. The girls walked towards their friends, seeing them fake wiping their tears away.

“Kids grow up so fast.” Mariko said, holding onto Miichan.

“That’s how you get your girl, Takamina.” Yuko gives her a thumb up, while Haruna nodded in approval.

“You can learn a thing or two from our leader, Sayaka.” Sae said to her girlfriend, but got smacked immediately. Everyone laughs at the couple, as the two laughs at themselves too.

“You guys mind us joining you today?” Yukirin walked over with Mayu.

“Of course not, we’re all friends here.” Minami said, as they all headed towards their usual restaurant.


Minami POV

It has been two months since the incident. Haruna and I both kept to our words by holding back our love for them. It was hard, but it must be done for us not to get hurt.

I love her, I love her so much, but the thought of her leaving me for somebody else had kept me back. Even though I held back my affection for her, my feelings remained the same. Once you fall in love, it is hard to get back out and pretend that you’re just friends again.

Atsuko seems to have notice this change in me and had become more aggressive. I actually welcome that because it shows me that she still wants me, but two months wasn’t enough to convince me that I won’t be hurt again. Especially, since she has been working on a new drama with this guy.

If I compare myself to that guy then I’m way better looking than him. He is all scrawny and looks really weak. There is no way he can protect Atsuko! Call me jealous, but I don’t want Acchan to know of this feeling… Should I try and see other potential girls?

There are Kuramochi Asuka, Sato Amina, and Yokoyama Yui. They are all beautiful girls who also got great personalities. Mocchi is kind and has a great body. Amina is cute and also gentle. Yui works hard and funn-
“Takamina, why are you so quiet?” Miichan asked while they were walking towards the restaurant.

“I’m just thinking about other girls.” They all stopped walking, making me stop as well.

“What do you mean?” Mariko asked, seeing Acchan being silent.

“It’s nothing to worry about.” I don’t really want to share my thoughts in front of Atsuko.

“Who were you thinking about?” Haruna wonders.

“I was thinking of Mocchi, Amina, and Yui.” I told them truthfully as I started walking again. Beside me, I can feel a squeeze on my hand. I turned to see Acchan in her thoughts. I face my friends to see their reaction and they seem to know why I was thinking about those three girls.

We all continued walking hand in hand with our partner to the restaurant. We went to our private room and started ordering food, but the only difference is that Atsuko was sitting on my left instead of the usual right. She held onto my left hand the entire time, not letting go. Even when we got our food, she still won’t let go of my hand, but it’s not like I minded. I turned to look at her, trying to find out if anything was wrong, but her face seems normal. Is she mad?

I guess she noticed I was looking at her, and gave me a smile.  She squeezes my hand again, but went back to eating. Why do I feel that there was more to that smile?

“Acchan, how is your drama?” Mariko asked.

“It’s good and fun. I like the story line very much.” She answered. Does she like it because of the guy?

“What about your co-actor? He’s pretty nice looking.” Yukirin was also curious.

“He’s really nice, always helping me and being patient with me.” I don’t like the way she talked about him. I let go of her hand to hold onto my bowl of katsudon. Is my fear coming true? Does she not love me anymore?

“Don’t you get a few kiss scenes with him as well?” It was Miichan who asked. Why is everyone interested in her drama all of a sudden?

“I’m done with my food, I’ll head back first.” I didn’t really finish it, but I wasn’t in the mood anymore.

I went to pay for me and Atsuko, and walked out of the restaurant. While walking towards the theater, I was mulling over my relationship with her. Three more days and it’ll be exactly one year since Acchan and I went out. I wonder if she remembers.

I went into the stage room, settling down my stuff to the side. No one was here yet since lunch wasn’t over. I laid down on the stage with hands behind my head, closing my eyes.  I sigh and relaxed. I was really comfortable and no one was there to bother me.


I felt a pressure on my lips, making me surprise. I opened my eyes to see Acchan kissing me. I returned the same passion, but with my eyes open. I can’t help to admire her beauty. She was so pretty and so calm. In this moment, Atsuko was just Atsuko, not the actress or the ace of AKB.

Only I can see this side of Acchan. The relax, not caring about anything, and just enjoying the moment Acchan. Why was I even thinking about other girls when she’s the one for me?



“I love you~” She gave me another peck.

“I love you too~” I pulled her down to lie on top of me. I want her to feel and hear my heart, since they are only beating for her.

“I want you, Minami~”

“I’m already yours.”

“No…” She lifts her head up to face me.

“I Want You.” I finally understood what she meant. I blushed hard thinking of us being naked together and doing… that…

“It will be one year soon… It’ll be our one year anniversary.” She continues to look me in the eyes. I can’t seem to look away from her intense gaze that filled with so much love and… lust.

“Will you be mine, Minami?” She leaned down to nuzzle close to my neck. She starts kissing and sucking on it, making me feel weird inside, like something was itching. I don’t know what it is, but all I know is that I want more.

“Ah!” She bit me. I can’t believe she just bit me.

“I left a mark on you~” She giggled. I can’t be mad at her, not when she’s acting cute like this. I leaned up to capture her sweet soft lips. If I were to give my first time to anyone, it would definitely be Atsuko.

“Okay~” I breathe out after our kiss. I looked at her, but she seems to be confused until recognition showed on her face. She smiled brightly with her nose wrinkled. The smile that I love the best, that only belongs to me.



“Minami~” Acchan hugged me tightly. She laid her hand onto my belly, touching me, and caressing me. I can feel the warmth from her hand, but seem to grow hotter as she trailed up to my chest.

“A-Acchan” My breathing seems heavier. My mind starts to become hazy.

“Atsuko.” She said as she cupped her right hand around my bra.

“At- hmm~” I bite my bottom lip to hold back that embarrassing sound.

“Minami…” She said my name in a husky tone that ignites me even more as she massages my asset.

“W-what are you do-“ She shuts me up with her lips, tracing mine with her tongue. I opened my mouth to grant her access.

She’s really aggressive, like a lioness pouncing on its prey, leaving me breathless. Her slippery tongue glides with mine as they intertwine. She sucked on it, not letting it go, as she went under my bra.

“A-Acchan” I gasp out.

“Atsuko.” She repeated as she slides her left hand down towards my waistband. At the same time, she went to my neck and started sucking on them.

“D-dame…” I told her to stop, but other than that, I couldn’t think anymore. If she continues on longer, I think I would give in.

“I want you now… Minami…” She moves up to suck on my earlobe, biting and teasing me. Her left hand continues to slide into my pants, lying on top of my underwear.

“Uhn~” I finally let out, couldn’t hold back the sounds anymore. I’m completely caught in Atsuko’s spun web.

“YUKO!” We heard Haruna screamed out, turning towards that direction. Yuko was lying on the floor with a stupid grin on her face. I blushed hard knowing that the squirrel had seen us.

I turned to look at Atsuko, but she seems indifferent. She looked at me smiling before leaning down to capture my lips.

“I guess… I’ll wait a little longer to make you mine, Minami~” She whispered against my lips, giving me another kiss before getting up.

She held her hand out to help me get off the ground. She then fixes my bra and shirt to make it look normal again. I look up at her, observing her angelic face, reaching out to caress her cheek bone.

“You’re so beautiful… Atsuko.” I tiptoed to give her a quick peck. She blushes and hugged me, laying her head onto my right shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her waist and do the same thing.

“I can’t wait Minami.”

That was the last thing she whispered before the gang came in. They look at Yuko and then looked at us.

“What happened to her?” Mariko asked.

“We don’t know, we’re wondering the same thing.”

“Why does she have a stupid grin on her face?” Miichan leaned closer to look at Yuko.

“She’s probably dreaming of something perverted.” Sayaka said.

“Itai!” The squirrel woke up by the wrath of her girlfriend.

“Nice one, Haruna.” Sae gave Nyan Nyan a thumb up.

“Why were you on the ground, Yuko?” Tomomi wonders.

“You guys should have been here. AtsuMina were getting it on~” Yuko grins and wiggled her eyebrows at said couple.

“You’re talking about Atsuko and Minami, as in Maeda Atsuko and Takahashi Minami?” Miichan gave the squirrel a disbelieving look. The other members nodded in agreement.

“YES! Acchan was on top of Takamina doing the naughty!”

“Takamina, I didn’t know you can be so sexy!” Yuko said turning to me.

“Minami is mine!” Acchan said, making the squirrel back up. Everyone turned to look at us.

“What?” I asked them, putting on my leader act, while Acchan was just holding on to me and resting on my shoulder.

“You’re totally delusional, Yuko. Atsuko and Minami aren’t like you and Haruna.” Miichan said.

“Hey!” Haruna smack said girl’s arm.

“You know it’s true.”

Haruna pouted because she couldn’t deny that fact.

“Stop bullying my Nyan Nyan.” Yuko clutched onto her girlfriend, trying to cheer her up.

“You know what, practice is done for the day, and we’ll pick it up tomorrow.” I said, wanting to go home and rest. After what happened between me and Atsuko, I’m too exhausted to continue our dancing.

I went to pick up Acchan’s and my bag, so we can head home. I walked over to her, holding her hands, and entwining our fingers.

“Let’s go.”


“Bye guys.”

We both walked out of the theater, not bothering to look back at our friends. We were both happy and smiley.

“Just three more days, Mi~na~mi~” I turned to Atsuko, seeing a big grin on her face. She looked at me and gave me a wink. I blushed hard as my heart was fluttering at the same time. This girl will be the death of me…


Today was the day, the day where I’ll be giving my whole being to Atsuko. I pack a few clothing into my bag and brought my necessities. She told me that she’ll be home in the afternoons because she got a shooting for her drama today. 

It was only 12pm, but I was kind of excited and nervous. This will help further our relationship and may help me with my feelings. I walked out of my apartment and went to Atsuko’s. Good thing she gave me a key, so I can get in.

I settle my bag by the sofa as I sit down.

“What should I do for the next 3 hours?”

I walked around Acchan’s apartment, seeing if I could help her with anything. I saw some dirty dishes, so I washed them while listening to our AKB songs. I went to laundry room next and see a stack of dirty clothes.

“Even if Atsuko has a lot of clothing, she still needs to wash these piles.” I help her with her clothes and then folded them neatly on her bed.

“It’s only 1:30pm...” I think for a little bit and got a great idea, since this will be our special day, and it is our special day. I’ll go buy some sweets for her.

I got out of the apartment and walked to Akihabara. There are some stores there that sell really good cakes, and I know Atsuko really loves food.

I saw one particular store and went in. They have so many varieties that I just ordered one of each. This is bad for my wallet, but Acchan was worth it. The smile on her face when she sees them will be priceless.

I continued to walk around Akihabara, finding a jewelry store. I walked in to take a look around. One item in particular had caught my attention. It was a ring, a stainless steel ring with a heart design. The cool thing about this ring is that it can be split in half. Not only that, ‘TRUE LOVE WAITS’ was carved on it. When the ring split, one half of the rings says ‘TRUE WAITS’ while the other half says ‘LOVE’.

It was such a unique ring that I had bought it. I also bought two stainless steel necklaces in case we can’t wear it on our fingers.

Atsuko is the one, and I’ll be happy to give her the half that says ‘LOVE’. This gift will be perfect, for today will also be perfect for our relationship.
I asked the person to give me a cute nice box to put these three items in. The shop keeper just smiled at me sweetly. The old lady even commented.

“I hope you and your special person last forever.”

“Hai, arigatoo.” I bowed to the lady and left the shop with a big grin on my face.

I came back to Atsuko’s appointment to set things up. I lay out all the cakes on the dining table, and then I rushed to her room to put the box on her bedside table.

“Everything will be perfect.”

I walked back out towards the living room, hearing a ruckus outside the main door. I know it’s Atsuko, so I hurriedly rush out to open the front door.

“Atsu…chan…” I saw her in the arm of a man, about to be tainted by his gross looking lips. I can feel the tears about to come out of my eyes, so I went back into the apartment.

I can’t believe what I feared most was happening, a man taking Atsuko away from me, preventing her from loving me anymore. The thought hurts, tears streaming down my face as I grabbed my bag.

I have to get out of here…


Third POV

Today was the day that Atsuko will finally give herself to Minami and vice-versa. The thought alone brought a big giant grin on the ace’s face. Throughout her work for the drama, her smile was so infectious, that everyone around her also smiles.

“What makes you smile so cutely for the entire day, Acchan?” A co-worker of her asked.

“Hmmm, nothing, Takeru-kun.”

“Come on, tell me.”

“It’s just… today is a special day for me and someone else.” The ace said dreamily, thinking of her beloved girlfriend, Minami. Said girl didn’t catch the angry look that was on her co-worker’s face.

“Let me walk you home today, Acchan.” Sato Takeru wanted the girl for himself.

“That’s okay Takeru-kun”

“No, I insist. It’s getting really late for a beautiful girl like you to walk home alone.” The stupid actor continues to compliment Acchan, thinking that it will make her fall for him.

“Okay, thanks Takeru-kun.” He is such a nice friend.

The both of them hopped into the actor’s car as he drove her home. On the way, they were just chatting about their drama. How the drama would end soon and how they were glad to meet each other.

“Well, thanks for driving me home, Takeru-kun.” Acchan smiled and wave as she got off.

“No, wait, let me walk you up.” The dude got out of his car before the girl could say anything.

They both took the elevator up to Acchan’s floor, walking to her door. The guy took hold of Acchan’s hand and pulled her towards him.

“I like you Acchan. I’ve been for a long time. Please accept my feelings.” The actor confessed, leaving the ace stunned and blushing.

He leaned in close, trying to close the gap between his nasty lips and her perfect ones. The girl didn’t do anything, but stood there.

“Atsu…chan…” The voice of Takahashi Minami made them both shock, especially Maeda Atsuko for being caught in the act in front of her girlfriend.

The door was slammed close afterwards, leaving the two standing there awkward.

“Please leave Sato-san.” Acchan spoke up, trying to calm herself from being rude to him, for he has cause another rift in her relationship with her beloved.

“Acchan, I know you like me too.”

“Please leave, now, and goodnight.” The ace didn’t wait for his reply, stepped into her apartment, and closed the door.

Atsuko hurriedly rush into her living room, seeing Takamina grabbing her bag.

“Minami” Acchan said her name, not wanting the girl to go. She wanted to explain what had happened, but she’s afraid her relationship is already over.

The captain heard the girl called out to her. She closes her eyes, taking in deep breaths to calm down, but tears were still running. She really can’t bear to be here anymore.  She walked towards the front door, but Acchan held her back. Takamina tried not to look at her.

“Minami, look at me please.” Atsuko begged in such a sad tone. How can the leader refuse when the girl she loves is also in pain?

She looked at her, trying her best to smile even though tears continues to drop. Acchan wiped them away, leaning in, trying to kiss her girlfriend, but Takamina had turned away, rejecting her. Atsuko was deeply hurt by this. She had again, made a mistake.

How can she asked for a kiss when she was about to give it to that guy?

“I’m tired, I’ll go back home, you rest well.” Even though the captain was hurt by her, she still loves the ace very much.

“Stay Minami, please don’t go!” Acchan started crying, afraid she’ll never see the leader again if she let her go.

Why is she crying when I’m the one she betrayed?

“Don’t cry, Acchan, just go to sleep okay?” Takamina was fully exhausted. She wants to leave. She wiped away the girl’s tears and kissed her forehead.

“NO!” Atsuko grabbed Minami and held her tight. The leader tried to get loose, but the girl’s grip was too strong.

“Let me go, Acchan.”

“Let me explain, Minami, please!” The taller girl pushed the shorter one on the couch, straddling her, holding onto both of her wrist.

 “I don’t want to hear it…” Takamina turned away and closes her eyes. She felt Acchan entwine their fingers together and lay on top of her, snuggling to her neck.

“I’m sorry, Minami, but please let me explain… I love you… only you… please… please…” The ace cried really hard, while begging her girlfriend to let her explain.
The leader just stayed on the couch, not saying a word. She couldn’t move, and she didn’t want to say anything. She only wanted to think.

Takamina had already said that she’ll give Acchan three chances. This was her girlfriend’s second mistake, leaving her with one last chance. She still loves the girl very much, but she needed space, needed to recover from this before she can be with Atsuko again.

The second mistake had made Minami even more closed off from her feelings. Just when she was about to give herself to the girl, said girl had ruined her trust.
She doesn’t know how long she was thinking for, but the figure on top of her fell asleep. She tries to get up slowly, not wanting to wake up Acchan, though the girl stirred by the movement underneath.

“Minami… I’m sorry… please…” The ace mumbled and had went back to sleep with furrowed eyebrows. She misses the warmth that is now staring at her sleeping face.

Takamina uses all her strength to carry her love one to bed. She didn’t want Acchan to sleep uncomfortably on the couch or catching a cold. She was about to leave when a hand held her right, stopping her from going.

“Minami, please stay… Don’t leave me.” Even though it was dark in the room, the leader can make out the tears running down the ace’s face, and the strained voice that was being used.

She didn’t know what to do. On one hand, she wanted to leave, to run somewhere so she can be alone. On the other, she wanted to stay with her girlfriend, and make her feel better.

The decision was made for her when Atsuko pulled her down to the bed.

“I love you Minami. I love you so much.” Acchan leaned her forehead against Takamina’s.

She was able to look at her in the eyes, thanks to the moons’ light. Both of them were breath-taking. Each girl admired the other’s beauty. Nothing was in their mind, except for each other’s illuminated faces.

“So beautiful.” Acchan caresses the leader’s face, tracing the girl’s lips with her thumb. She kept looking at those inviting lips, licking her own. She asked permission with her eyes to taste those lips that she desire, and only desire.

“I love you and only you…” Was the last thing Atsuko whispered before capturing Minami’s soft pink lips. The ace tries her hardest to convey all her feelings into this kiss. She was asking for forgiveness and was telling the girl that she loves her.

“I’m really sorry. I was surprised by his confession and I didn’t know what to do. He just leant in to kiss me, but I’m glad you have stopped it, otherwise I wouldn’t know how to face you.” Acchan explained, leaning her head against Takamina’s.

“Are you attracted to him?” The leader asked such a direct question, the ace didn’t know what to say. They were quiet for a few seconds, but it was enough for the short girl to understand.

“I see.” She stood up from the bed grabbing the box on the table. She was even more hurt, knowing that Atsuko was also attracted to that weak man. She left the room to pick up her bag.

“Minami, wait!” Acchan rushed out to stop the girl, but said girl had enough for the night.

“I bought you some cakes on the dining table. I figured you would like them, but it’s up to you if you want to eat it or not.” The captain said coldly.

The ace had just notice the varieties of cakes sitting there. She felt warm inside, knowing her girlfriend spent effort in making her happy, but she also felt sad because her girlfriend was using such a tone.

“Please stay…” Acchan felt guilty for hurting her beloved again. She cried, while hugging Takamina from behind.

“We have early practice tomorrow, try and not to be late.” The leader reminded before she left.

Atsuko cried hard as she slips to the ground, not hearing what Minami had whispered as the girl closes the door.

“Last chance… Atsuko…”

Acchan continued to cry in that position for god knows how long. She finally stood up and went to the cake. She will eat them all. She will consume all the love that Takamina had put in buying her all these cakes.

Even though the ace is known to eat a lot and likes sweet. This much sugar will cause a problem later on.


After the leader left her girlfriend’s apartment, she calls a member that she trusted to see if she can stay over a few days.

“Moshi Moshi”

“Ne, Mariko-sama, are you busy?”

“No, I’m just relaxing at home right now, what’s up?”

“Is it okay if I come over… and perhaps stay a few days?” After hearing this sentence, Mariko understood that Minami was having problems with Acchan. She has all the intention in finding out what the ace had did.

“Yeah, that’s fine, come on over.”

“Thank you… see you in a bit.”

After hanging up the call, Mariko had texted Miichan, Haruna, Sayaka, Sae, Tomochin, and Tomomi about Takamina, leaving Yuko out.

“What?!” was Miichan’s expression.

“Poor Takamina…” Haruna sympathize.

“What’s the problem this time?” Both Sayaka and Sae looked at each other.

“Chiyuu is sad to see AtsuMina like this…” Tomomi clung on to Tomochin as the latter soothes her girlfriend.

Mariko was angry, but she needed to know what happened first before doing something about it.

*ding dong*

The tallest member of the group went to open her door. There stood Takahashi Minami with tear stained face and red eyes, smiling at her like nothing had happened.

“Minami” Mariko pulled Takamina into a hug. The girl cried her heart out as the older member embraces her.

“Let’s go inside and then we’ll talk.”

They both went into the living room sitting on the owner’s white couch. Mariko went to make some hot tea to calm the captain.

“Do you want me to call the others?”

“I don’t want to see them right now, and you can just tell them later.” The leader was exhausted. Even the tone of her voice told the other girl she was drained.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Second time, Mariko… She made a second mistake, but this time, it’s with a man!” Takamina was very angry. She gritted her teeth and forms her hands into a fist.

Seeing the captain like this makes the older member sad. Her funny loving leader is now a mess because of her uncontrollable girlfriend, who also happens to be her friend.

“She was in the arm of that weak man, about to be kissed by him, if I hadn’t interrupted.”

Mariko was silent. She was forming images into her head, and she can see clearly what Takamina’s face had looked like.

“She told me she was surprised by his confession, but you know what hurts the most?” Minami look at her friend, giving her a painful smile, before breaking down.

“She’s also attracted to him...” That last sentence was the last straw for both the girls. Takamina cries, as she was being held by Mariko, though the latter has a different emotion boiling in her. She was mad, beyond pissed that Acchan had caused the leader greater pain.

Few hours had passed, as the captain slept with her tear stained face on Mariko’s body. Said girl had texted the other six members of the details regarding AtsuMina, and planned to meet early tomorrow at her house.

The tallest member looks down at Takamina, stroking the petite girl on the head as she relaxes on her sofa.

“I’ll protect you, Minami…” Mariko whispered before she too falls asleep.


Mariko woke up first in the morning to make breakfast and coffee, while Takamina is still on the sofa sleeping.


The tall member checks her phone for the text, as it said their friends was outside the house waiting. She went to open the door to welcome the six members that she text last night.

“Morning Mariko” Miichan greeted her girlfriend, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“Where is she?” Haruna asked the question that the other girls were thinking of.

“She’s still sleeping on the sofa… come in guys, and then we’ll go to the theater together.”

They all walked in to the living seeing Minami asleep in a fetal position. The girls all had a sad look on their face, seeing their used to be energetic leader on the couch, looking like a scarred little girl.

Mariko motioned for the girls to follow her into the kitchen to talk.

“So what happened?” Tomochin asked.

“She came last night, crying into my arms, and then fell asleep…” The images that Mariko described were clearly seen by the other members.

“I don’t really know the details, but it seems she caught Atsuko in the arms of a weak man and about to be kissed by him if Takamina wasn’t there to stop him.”

“That’s not it… Acchan explained that she was caught off guard by the confession, which is why she didn’t do anything, but Minami found out that she was also attracted to him…”

The girls were shocked. They couldn’t believe their ace has feelings for another person besides their leader. They didn’t know what to make of this situation. They were mad, but at the same time they couldn’t blame the girl for liking a guy.

They were all raised up in a society where girls are supposed to be with guys, but since they are in an all-girls group with the no dating rule, they never interacted with males before. So it was only normal to develop feelings for a friend in the group. Though they are pretty sure that the person they are dating right now is the right one for them, and they wouldn’t change it for the normal relationship at all. They are all fine with being with another girl and they had all accepted that they are different.

The members look at one another, recognizing that they all share the same feelings upon this subject.

“Even if we all come to terms with it… Acchan is different… She is now out and about and experiencing new things…” Sayaka spoke up what the others had in mind.
“How’s Yuko, Nyan Nyan?” Mariko asked, wanting to change the subject for a bit.

“Ever since that incident, she hasn’t gone around looking or touching other girls anymore… What Takamina said in the restaurant really stuck with her now.”

“Well that’s good. Now, we don’t have to worry about two couples breaking up, but just one.” Sae said, immediately got smack by Sayaka.

“Itai, what was that for?”

The other members shook their head, and laugh at the couple in front of them. Normally the scene in front of them would be the Kojiyuu couple, but Yuko has stopped being an old man.

“Mariko?” A sound came from the living room.

“She’s awake, you guys go see her, and I’ll bring her breakfast.”

The girls walked out to a surprised looking Minami.

“When did you guys get here?”

“Ohayoo Takamina our greatest leader ever.” Miichan yelled and jumped on her captain.

“Ugh, Miichan, you’re too loud.”

“How are you feeling Takamina?” Haruna asked, concerned.

“Ah, Mariko, told you guys?”

They all nodded, looking at the girl with sympathy.

“Stop looking at me like that. You guys know I don’t like that.” Minami wasn’t weak, she’s fine, and she definitely doesn’t need her friends to stare at her with those feelings.

“Ara ara, don’t be mad in the morning, Minami. Here’s breakfast” Mariko came out with a tray of scrambled eggs, beacon, and pancakes. Instead of a traditional Japanese breakfast, it was an American one.

“Wah~ for me? Arigatoo!” Minami ate the food happily, commenting on how delicious it was.

Her friends watch her with smiles on their faces. Whenever their little captain smiles or be happy about something, they share the same feelings with her. They can only enjoy this small moment of happiness before the real problem kicks in.

“Ah~ that was really good.” Takamina said happily before she walks into the kitchen. The moment her back turns, her smile turns into a frown. She puts the dishes into the sink and starts washing them.

The others outside knew their leader was only putting on a face and that sadden them greatly. They’re not sure if the captain is gonna give her girlfriend another chance, for this time, it is a much greater deal than the kiss with Yuko.

Takamina came out to let the others that they should start heading to the theater. She grabbed her bag, making the other members shock from what they just saw.

“Minami, what happened to your wrist?” Mariko asked, making the short girl look down.

“Ah, must be from last night with Atsuko…” The leader seem indifference to the bruised mark sitting on both her wrist.

“You have it on both of your hand! What did you do with Acchan yesterday?”

“She pushed me down and held onto them… I guess she was squeezing too hard and now it leaves these marks…” The short girl said, tracing the mark on her right wrist with sad expression.

“Anyway, let’s head out now, I don’t want to be late.”

The members followed their leader leaving Mariko the last to lock her house. They all walk behind Minami, looking at each other to see who will asked her of her decision, but the captain spoke up before it was decided.

“I know you guys want to know my decision… and trust me, it was a hard one to make…”

They continued walking, waiting for their friend to continue her thought.

“I think… I will break up with her…” This left the other members gasp. They couldn’t believe, but at the same time they could, that Minami would break up with Atsuko.

“To prevent the third mistake from happening… I’m really scared, you know? I’m afraid that the next time it’ll happen, she’ll do something worst, and I don’t want hate her for it…” The leader turned around to look at her teary friends. She was too nice was what all of them thought, and couldn’t believe Acchan had blew it with this amazing god-like person.

“You guys, don’t cry, you’re gonna make me cry too.” The short girl laugh, but tears were falling down her face. All the members surrounded her and gave a group hug.

“We’ll support your decision, Minami. You do what you have to do.” Mariko spoke up with the silent agreement from the others.

“Arigatoo minna.”

The friends supports Takamina’s decision, but they wonder how their ace will take this bad news…


The girls headed to the theater, settling down their bags in the changing room. When they walked in, they came face to face with none other than the ace herself.
Immediately, there was an awkward atmosphere in the room, and anyone who was there can sense it.

Mariko, Miichan, Haruna, Tomochin, Tomomi, Sayaka, and Sae stood still. They didn’t want to move an inch for who knows what will happen. They can see in Atsuko’s eyes that the girl was regretting deeply, looking to their leader’s eyes to plead for forgiveness. Minami, on the other hand, looked away and continue on to her spot. The center girl left, crushed and teary eyed.

Their friends wanted to comfort the sadden girl, but at the same time, they couldn’t really support Acchan for what she had done to Minami.

“Takamina, are you gonna talk to her at all?” The older member asked.

“I have to eventually… I’ll do that after practice… will you guys be there?”

The seven girls can sense that the captain was scared to be alone with the ace. They know that she was afraid she’ll give the girl another chance when she’s not at all ready yet.

“Don’t worry, we’ll be there for you, and then let’s go eat afterwards.” Mariko said with the smiles of the other members.

“Yosh, we need to go practice now, come on.” Minami reverted back to her leader mode. That’s the only way for her to not think about Atsuko and for her to focus on her job.

The members followed behind shaking their heads. Takamina will always be Takamina no matter the situation she’s in.

“Alright everyone, we will practice all the versions for Beginner, but mostly…” The captain looked over to the ace. There was another awkward silence as the two girls made eye contact. The people there were confused to why the leader had stopped talking.

“… but mostly Atsu-Acchan’s version…” None of the members noticed the tiny slip up that Minami had made, besides the seven friends and the ace herself.

They had all started the rehearsal. First were Atsuko’s version, then Minami’s, Mariko’s, Tomochin’s, Mayuyu’s, and Yuko’s. They went back to Acchan’s, but in the middle of the song…

“Acchan!” One of the members yelled out.

Minami immediately look for Atsuko to see what had happened. The ace was lying on the ground unconscious, full of sweat, and scrunched up face like she’s in pain.

The leader rushed over to be by her girlfriend side, checking her temperature. Their friends can only stand and watch as Takamina freaked out and trying to wake the girl up.

“Atsuko! Atsuko!” The captain continued to yell out her girlfriend’s name in pain.

“Wake up, Atsuko…” The short girl had tears in her eyes. She closes them to stop them from falling.

“M-Minami?” The ace opens her eyes, coming face to face with her beloved.

“Minami!” Acchan hug Takamina tightly and closely. She doesn’t want to let go of this body in front of her.

The seven friends felt relieved to see the black hair girl conscious again. They take it upon themselves to dismiss the members that wasn’t involve with their group, while the two girls were still embracing each other.

“Is everything okay?” Yukirin asked Mariko with concerned.

“Not really… Takamina and Acchan…”

“It’s okay. They will be fine. I’ll head home with Mayu.” The team b’s captain lay a hand on the older member’s shoulder in reassurance, and took her leave.

“Nyan Nyan… why are we finished early?” Yuko asked, looking confuse.

“Takamina and Acchan needs to talk… you should head home too.”

“What happened?”

“Let’s just say Acchan did something that she shouldn’t have… and Takamina doesn’t like it one bit…” Haruna looks at Yuko with the expression that tells her she doesn’t want to talk about it, and that the squirrel should just go home.

“Okay… I hope they will work things out… because if they can’t, then we all can’t…” The team k’s ace said before leaving as well.


What the squirrel had said was true. If Minami and Atsuko can’t work things out, then what chance does the other couples have in saving their relationship when things go wrong?

The seven girls regroup towards the back of the theater to give the two girls space. They look at one another, hoping that whatever happens, they will all still be friends. The girls looked at the stage where the two figure were still in a tight hug.


“Ats-Acchan, are you okay, why did you fainted?” Takamina was worried.

“Probably from yesterday…” Atsuko looked down, probably feeling that Minami will think she’s dumb.

“What do you mean?”

“I… I ate all the cakes yesterday…” The aced pouted, trying her hardest not to look at her beloved.

The captain was dumbfounded. She didn’t even know what to say. Sure, she knows her girlfriend likes to eat, but to eat all that cake? What was she thinking?

“Why would you do that?”

“Because I love you… I know you bought all that out of love to make me happy, and I… I want… I don’t… I…” Acchan couldn’t explain what she felt, and she was having a hard time putting it into words.

The leader was silent. Her eyes were filled with love as she looks at her cute pouting lover. For some reason, she could understand what Atsuko was trying to say, and she felt happy about it, but she also felt the girl was irrational for doing that.


“I’m really sorry, Minami, I’m really am.” The ace finally looked at her captain, tears at the edge of her eyes.

“When you left last night, I didn’t know if it would be the last time for me to see you, and the thought had broken my heart. You’ve become such a vital part of my life that it’s hard to remember what my life was like before meeting you, and I can’t imagine my future without you.” Tears had finally dropped, streaming down the center girl’s cheeks.

“I know I’ve hurt you, but if you gave me the chance, I would spend every second of our life together to make up to you. I never want to see you cry or hurt you again, and to know that I’ve caused that hurts me deeply. I know what I’ve said is not enough, but please…” Atsuko was pleading.

Minami was touched by the feelings that Atsuko had poured out to her. For the girl to do that, it means something. The ace normally has a hard to expressing herself and usually keeps things to herself, but she took a big step in telling her love one. The ribbon girl appreciated and felt happy, but one thing occupied her mind.

“What about the guy…” Takamina looked away with hurt evidently in her voice.

“He means nothing to me, Minami. I love you and only you.“

“I-I’m not so sure…”

“Without you, I would not know how to smile anymore.” Acchan strokes the leader’s hair.

“Without you, I have nothing to look forward to.” She moves down to caress the short girl’s face.

“Without you, my heart won’t beat anymore.” She smooths out the captain’s eyebrow.

“Without you, life has no meaning.” She outline Takamina’s nose.

“Without you, I would be empty.” She traces the ribbon girl’s lips.

“Without you, I won’t be able to survive. So please…” She inches closer.

“Please don’t give up on me…” Atsuko whispered before capturing Minami’s soft lips.

The leader was completely swayed by the love that the ace had shown. She was captivated by how sincere Acchan was. She was in a daze by the kisses that she’s been missing. She felt content, being in the arms of her girlfriend who showered her with feelings.

Even though the captain was happy in the moment, she knows she has to do what she wanted before all of this had happened. She wants to enjoy this moment for she doesn’t know when she’ll enjoy it again.

Both of the girls ran out of breath as they separated their lips from one another. Red tints were clearly shown on both of their faces, and eyes are filled with sparkles of love.

“I won’t give up on you, Atsuko.” Takamina was the first to talk.

“Minami~” Acchan tries to hug her girlfriend, but said girl inched back.

“I still want to have a perfect image of you when I’m thinking about you… I don’t want to hate you, Atsuko, I really don’t.” The captain’s tears ran down her face, one after the other non-stop.

“Minami?” The ace was confused. She reached out to grab her chest, where her heart is beating. It was hurting suddenly, and she didn’t know why.

“I love you, Atsuko. No matter what, I’ll always love you…” The leader was full on crying at this point.

The seven friends, who were observing from the back, all had tears running down their face. Sayaka was leaning on Sae’s shoulder, holding her for comfort. Tomomi was in the arms of Tomochin as they embrace each other to the sad scene in front of them. Miichan hugs Mariko as she cried to the older girl’s chest. Haruna was left without a partner, but Miichan held her hand out for Nyan Nyan to hold.

The girls knew what Takamina had wanted, but they didn’t expect it to be this heartbreaking. The favorite and most compatible couple will break up. The two were the example couple that members look up to and followed. Now that they are over, what makes the other five invincible?

“Minami…” The ace was also crying. Seeing her girlfriend hurt also makes her hurt. You always feel what your partner feels. It’s the connection that they shared.

“I’m breaking up with you…”

Atsuko’s world completely fallen apart. She wasn’t sure if she heard it right, but the pain in her chest grew ten times worst. She felt like she was being stabbed repeatedly in the chest slowly. She was at a loss for words as she was looking at her broke down girlfriend, ex-girlfriend.

“No… NO!” Acchan slides over to face Takamina.

“Why, Minami, why!”

“Tell me, Minami, tell me!” The ace shook her captain.

“I’m scared!”

“I’m really scared of loving you, Atsuko!” The center girl was silent.

“I’m mostly afraid of you leaving me for another person…” Acchan was surprised to find out her leader’s feelings.

“I told you I love only you!”

“How would I know that about the future?” Takamina throws back, shutting up her friend.

The short girl stood up, thinking that it was already over, since there was nothing else that she wanted to share.

“J-just give me a chance, Minami. I will prove it to you. I will prove that you’re the only one I love.” The black hair girl pleaded again. She couldn’t imagine the future without Takamina, let alone the very next day. She already felt empty inside.

“I will continue to be your best friend, Atsuko. I will be there for you when you need me. I’ll cheer you up when you’re sad. I’ll be a shoulder for you to cry on. I’ll be the box for you to vent out your frustrations. I’ll support you no matter what you do, but I just can’t be with you right now…” The leader turned to look at her friends in the back. It was too painful for her to look at Acchan.

“Please understand that I still love you very much, but this will be good for the both of us… You may find someone else that you’ll love more than me. You’re now in the real world, experiencing new things. You won’t have to be stuck loving me anymore…” Takamina smiled bitterly.

“You’ll be able to try with that guy that almost kissed you… even though we’re not supposed to date, but I’ll turn a blind eye for you, Atsuko. You’ll be able to sort your feelings, and maybe I can open my eyes to the others around me…” Acchan didn’t like the sound of any of the things that the captain had said, especially the last part.

“Atsuko you’re free now, and if you do find happiness in a man, then I’ll be happy for you… “ The short girl walked over to the welcoming arms of her friends. Before she left the theater to grab her stuff, she turned over to look back at the girl she loves.

“Atsuko…” The girl looks up at Takamina.

“If you’re sure of your feelings before all that happens, or if you’re in your 30s/40s and still find no one, then… I’ll do what you want in that interview…” The leader blushed thinking of what she is implying.

“Y-you mean…” The center girl had hopes in her eyes.

“Let’s live together… and… get married…” The captain smiled genuinely at her ace, before walking to the changing room with her friends to get their bags.

“M-Minami…” Atsuko was also blushing, but very happy that she will get another chance from her beloved. She was very determined to prove to Takamina that she’s the only one for her. She promised herself that she will get the girl she loves or she’ll die trying. Nothing and no one will get in her way of that goal, and if there are obstacles, she will demolish them.


The eight girls got their bags, heading out to have lunch together. Seven of the members were wondering if Takamina was sure about her decision. They don’t want to question her, but they are eager to know.

“Minami… what you said back there to Acchan… did you mean it?” Mariko, being the oldest there, asked.

“Yeah I did… I told you guys that she’ll get three chances, so when the time comes and she is really sure that I’m the only one she sees without wavering, then she’ll get that last one.”

“What about the part that you may find another person?”

“In the meantime, while she’s figuring out things, I want to see if other makes me happy too…”

“Is that why you were thinking of Asuka, Yui, and the others at that one time?”

“Yeah… does that make me a bad person?”

“No, Minami… it only makes you human…” Mariko said wisely, while the others also agreed.

“Before I forget, can you keep this for me, Mariko-sama?” Takamina handed the older member a nice looking box.

“Can I see what’s inside?”

“I guess so…”

All the seven girls stood in a circle as Mariko opens the box. What the find inside was a stainless steel ring and two matching necklaces that Minami had bought. The members gasp at how unique it was, and the wording on their makes their heart melts.


“T-Takamina, this is beautiful, why you have this?” Tomomi asked.

“I bought it at a store for me and Atsuko for our anniversary… but you guys know how that turned out…” The leader frowned thinking back of what could be a special day.

“Why do you want me to keep this?”

“I bought it with Atsuko in mind, so it can only be given to her… The day I will ask you for it back will be the day that we’ll both be ready... Please keep it safe for me?”

The members were gushing at a how lovely and romantic their leader is. They couldn’t believe this perfect god-like human being belongs to their ace. Acchan was definitely lucky to deserve this kind of love and devotion from Minami. The girls envied their lucky friend very much. They look at their partner, sharing the same feelings that they have for this couple, and they wish to achieve this kind of specialness between them too.

“Okay, I’ll keep it safe… I do hope you’ll ask for it back one day.”

“I hope so too.”

The eight girls continued walking to the usual restaurant to share what is left of this tired, painful, and hopeful day. They look forward to the future where all the couples can be reunited to have a nice lunch together again, like old times.

What they didn’t know is that, the future may cause more disruption to the reunion of a certain favorite couple.
Will said couple survives such turbulence that will be thrown at their lives?

Let’s just pray for the best.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2014, 01:00:01 PM by kuro_808 »
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Offline kuro808

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Re: AKB Fanfics Contest 2014- SIGNUPS Updated 3/9/14 (PRIZES ANNOUNCED)
« Reply #11 on: May 01, 2014, 12:29:04 PM »
Entry #8

It was the fall of 2007 when I first laid my eyes on her. With raven black hair in high twin tails and porcelain skin, her beauty made everyone's head turn. Her eyes were a stunning dark brown and her lips had a tint of pink. Her petite figure made her appear light as a feather as she gracefully walked through the halls. No one had ever seen such exquisite beauty before which could mean that she was new to the school. She was an enigma, no one knew where she came from or who she was. She was a mystery to our class and no one was brave enough to step forward. The girl just sat there peacefully at her desk staring out the window. Little did she know that she was being targeted by the predators. One boy boldly stepped forward approaching the girl and made a rude comment thinking he was going to attract her. Sadly, the boy was simply ignored and the girl kept staring out the window as if nothing had happened. The boy tried again this time more forceful and still no reply. Irritation was written on his face but he kept his facade and continued to unravel a roll of cheap pick up lines. Then suddenly the girl turned her head and glared at the boy with a gaze so intimidating it would make any man run for his life. The boy took the sign and walked away leaving the girl back to her peace. Seeing how the girl was sitting alone and new, I thought it would be appropriate for me to introduce myself and possibly start a new friendship. Gathering all my strength and courage, I rose from my seat and made my way to the desk in front of her. I said nothing but instead sat there silently looking out the window like she was. Minutes of silence past before the girl suddenly said,

"The sky is beautiful isn't it?"

"It is." I replied.

"I love the relaxing blue of the afternoon sky."

"I like the black shadow of the night sky."

My comment seemed to have caught the girl's interest for her attention was now towards me. She looked at me for a moment and then asked,

"My name is Watanabe Mayu. What is yours?"

"Kashiwagi Yuki."   

From that moment on I felt like a bridge was made between Mayu and I connecting our two worlds. Slowly I began to learn new interesting things about her that I thought I would never see in another person. We had many things in common despite our appearances and the ways we act around people. I guess in reality we were both hiding our true selves from the other people. With Mayu I felt like I could be my true self without hiding behind any kind of mask or shadow. She's the only person I can open up to without the feeling of being judged or being looked down on for being the person that I am. Mayu is a good listener and always knows what to say for whatever problem I have. For many years I thought I would grow up alone and die alone with no one to love. However with Mayu I now feel a different from when I did back then. I feel like she's the one I've been looking for all these years. I slowly felt the bond between Mayu and I was getting closer and closer with each passing day we were together. Then one day without even realizing it our feelings had bloomed into something neither one of us were expecting.
We would have these moments where both of us would get really close to the point of kissing. However one of us would back off at the last minute and we'd both be blushing as red as tomatoes. It would only happen when Mayu and I were really close together and we were doing something extremely cute or possibly romantic. I could feel the warm air between us and the distance grow smaller but then right as we were going to seal the opening, we'd back away. It reminded me of a couple that was afraid to kiss for a long time until the girl decided to make the first move. That one move helped them both realize that they were in love and so I would think of doing the same with Mayu. I then realized though that  Mayu and I would never do anything like that since we're both girls and love between two girls was practically forbidden. Then one day our feelings were finally brought into the light on a fine fall evening.

I remember one time Mayu and I were assigned cleaning duty in the school pool so we went to the shed to get cleaning supplies. We were gathering things when suddenly Mayu had tripped and fallen on top of me. It happened fast and I couldn't keep up with the actions unfolding but next but the next thing I knew; I had landed on a mat and Mayu's hands were at the sides of my head. She was very close to me to the point where I could hear her panted breaths. It looked like she was trying to hold herself up so she didn't land on me. Sadly her arms couldn't hold and they gave out resulting in her falling and landing on my body. Her lips had crashed into mine and that there was my first kiss. We were both pretty shocked at that moment as if all time had stopped. It wasn't until minutes later when Mayu had pulled back to breathe. She had a pinkish blush to her cheeks and almost a shy expression on her face. At the time I thought there was no harm in doing it again and so I wrapped my arms around Mayu's neck and pulled her in for another kiss. This time it was more passionate and filled with another unknown emotion I didn't know of at the time. When we pulled back Mayu stood up and then I said,


Standing myself I was planning to leave but then Mayu grabbed my hand and said,

"It's ok. Let's do it again sometime nee?"

I looked at her with a surprised look on my face but I wasn't scared. The only response I was able to say was,


"Yeah. I actually liked it."

Mayu's face turned to a bright red and looked away trying to hide her embarrassment which I thought was adorable. I walked over to her and then kissed her on the cheek this time without holding back. However Mayu backed away and then grabbed me pulling me close. Mayu was the one who kissed me only it was on the lips and she was really into the whole kissing thing. It started with a kiss and soon it bloomed into something beautiful. Everyday Mayu and I would go find somewhere private to kiss each other without anyone noticing and we would go on dates together whenever we were free. I guess you could say we were basically dating seeing how we were always together. Being with Mayu made me like the happiest person on the planet and I wanted that happiness to last for as long as it could.

High school was fun in all actuality seeing how life went on without a care. Mayu and I supported each other in the sports festival and even participated in the school play. We did all kinds of fun and crazy things together and all of it was just wonderful. Then when the big dance came up for all the graduating fourth years, I had asked Mayu to be my date and she gladly accepted. I remember on that day when I went to go pick her up I was waiting outside her doorstep when the door opened revealing a beautiful princess. She wore a white dress with blue flowers sewn on the skirt along with floral designs across the chest. There were some sparkles and gems making the dress show off her best features with her slim waist and petite figure. Her hair was lovely as well for it was done in a high ponytail with curls and a blue flower hair piece with sapphires in it. I could tell she had put a lot of hard work into her outfit and looks seeing the make up she had on which made her look adorable. Mayu looked like a princess out of a fairytale and I felt like the lowly peasant not worthy of her presence. However when Mayu took my hand, I could see she thought I was just as lovely. I was nervous though thinking that when we entered the building people would look at us. I was afraid they would make rude comments or even attack us. At first I was afraid to go in but Mayu reassured me and so we walked in confidently hand in hand. To my surprise not many people seemed to care let alone notice. Those who did were just fools who weren't as accepting as others but many people were actually happy for us.

Mayu and I danced the night away that day and it was the best night of my young life. We danced and danced all the way until the very last song. Holding her waist and her hand, we slow danced to the beat swinging side to side. We danced to the slow music and let our hearts be carried away getting lost in the gazes of each other. That night truly was magical in every way possible. Sadly all things come to an end and when the dance ended we all went home. Even thought the party was over though, the night was young and Mayu and I had other plans. That night, Mayu became a woman and so did I in a night of passion and love. That night Mayu gave me the pleasures I thought no one could ever give me. After the dance we only had a couple days of school left then it finally happened. Graduation. This was something everyone was dreading but also looking forward to. It was the day we all became adults and set off into the world to make something of ourselves. It was sad time because it meant departing with some of your best friends that you grew up with. I know I had a hard time letting go of my friends but I was also happy that I managed to make it this far. After all the hard work and struggles, I managed to pull through and now I'm here on graduation day ready to move on in life. Mayu and I were both extremely proud of each other for we both had struggles during the school year with exams and tests. It was always work and now all that work was finally paid off. At the graduation ceremony, I was selected to make a speech to all the students. I still remember it clearly even now.

"Today is the day we as students move forward in our lives to something much greater. Today is the day we say goodbye to crammed halls and small lockers. Goodbye to our teachers and friends and even our parents. Today is the day we branch out into the world and become something better that what we are today. As a student I am proud to say that I have accomplished my goals and now I am here today to graduate. And also I am ready to go out and do something to help the world and make it a better place for everyone. Let's keep working hard all the way and then ten years from now, let's all meet up here and show what we've come. Congratulations everyone you've made it this far but let's not stop here."

After that everyone took their own separate ways and I thought Mayu and I were going to separate as well. Mayu wanted to be a manga artist and I wanted to be a business manager so our colleges were far away. Mayu's college was half way across the city while mine was on the other end. There was no way we could live together and still be able to go to college. Therefore we both decided to rent a place that was located between our schools but mainly it was closer to hers. For me, it was a three hour train ride to my college so every day I would wake up at 4am to get ready and reach school in time by 8. It was a pain but it was worth it as long as I could be with Mayu. Then at the nights Mayu would get out at 7 and I would get back by 8 so it wasn't too bad. Then some days I would get home early because my classes would get cancelled so I'd run around the town my college was in. I would find all kinds of cute things so I would buy them and bring them home for Mayu. One time I saw a cute alpaca doll so I brought it back for Mayu where she went ballistic and told me that she loved alpacas. Everyday Mayu and I would spend as much time as we could hanging out or going out. We were always together and rarely were we ever apart. We even spent every holiday together cherishing every memory. Our relationship wasn't perfect though. There were times where we would get into arguments and it was over things I never quite understood but at the same time I could see why Mayu would feel that way. There was one day with an argument we had but this time I had something special planned for Mayu that she was never going to expect. Playing back that memory in my always brought me back great joy.

"I told you Mayu you don't need to worry about it. I'm over her and I'm not going back. I've moved on from that and it's all in the past now."

"Uso! I know you still like it! I know you still like Rena and Sae.."

"Mayu please believe me I'm serious. I'm over both of them and I've moved on."


Walking over to Mayu who was on the bridge of crying with tears reaching their breaking point. I knew I had to comfort her and so I held her trembling body in my arms close to my heart. I wanted her to hear it, I wanted her to hear the love that was in my heart for her and only her. Eventually Mayu calmed down and so I had her face me and then said,

"Mayu, no matter what I will always love you all the way until the end of time itself. I would never leave you for anyone and I'll always hold you close."


I didn't let her say anything but instead I sealed her lips with a passionate kiss. A kiss that would reassure that I was never going to leave her and I will be loyal to her. I understood why Mayu would feel these feelings for she was scared of being left alone. She was scared of me leaving her all alone with no one to love her. Mayu loved me deeply and I was the same for her because Mayu was my everything. After the kiss I had decided now was the moment to ask. Looking to her I said,

"Nee Mayu.."


"I have something I've wanted to ask you for a long time and I think tonight is the perfect night."

"What do you mean?"

I got down on one knee and then pulled out a small box. I opened it revealing a ring that I had specially made for her. It had a diamond in the middle with smaller sapphires surrounding the band and on the inside was her name engraved on it. I was nervous at first but then I gathered my strength and with all the courage in my voice I said,

"Watanabe Mayu.. will you marry me?"

Mayu was silent at her face and she was left in an expression of shock. Tears started to coming from her eyes and I thought she was going to say no. However instead she said,

"Yes Yuki I will marry you!"

I stood up and slid the ring on her finger which fitted her perfectly. I kissed her on the lips sealing our fate as a soon to be married couple. Taking her hand in mine, I intertwined our fingers binding us together for all eternity. After that Mayu and I rarely got into little arguments like that. Things were progressing even more getting better and better until one day we got a dreaded call from Mayu's mother. I remember Mayu's parents didn't know about our relationship and one day they wanted Mayu to come home for the holidays. Mayu suggested that it would be a good time to tell her parents about us. To be honest I was very nervous since's Mayu's family was the most prestigious in the entire town. When they heard Mayu wanted to be a manga artist they came crashing down on her like a typhoon. God knows what they'd do to her if they found out she was gay. I remembered the day we pulled into the driveway to her big house and when I walked inside the first time I was greeted by maids. Mayu's family was filthy rich. We made our way to the main room where Mayu's mother and father stood. I remembered standing in the presence of Mayu's father which made me feel like I was looking at God himself. Mayu's mother was another piece of work as well decorated like she was the queen of some country. I felt insignificant like a bug being in front of them and I wanted to leave the place as soon as I could. Sadly I couldn't and Mayu dragged me into the dining room where they were eating dinner. Mayu's entire distinguished family was there all in one big fancy room filled with doctors, lawyers, engineers and CEOs. It was incredible to see just how powerful Mayu's family was and how much of a success they were. We sat at the end right next to her parents before the staff had brought in a feast fit for a small army. Eating much of the food, I was already full and not even half my food was gone. Then suddenly Mayu had tapped her wine glass with a spoon gathering everyone's attention. I remember how she stood tall and faced her parents without any fear in her eyes and then said to them,

"Mother, father I have something important to tell you.."

Mayu took my hand and had me stand with her.

"This is Kashiwagi Yuki and she is my girlfriend and my fiancee. I love her with all my heart and so we're going to get married."

The silence in the room was more silent than a graveyard. No one moved and no one was going to say anything. Then suddenly the father slammed his hands onto the table and he stood up tall and high making his way over to me. He stood before me looking down with a stern glare and at that moment I thought I was going to die. Instead though he got down on his knees and bowed low to the ground. His wife joined him as well and together they both said,

"Please take care of our daughter."

We had obtained approval from the parents and I was overjoyed with the results. I don't even want to talk about what happened with my parents because it was really bad. Let's just say they weren't as accepting as Mayu's parents were but that didn't matter to me because I wasn't going to be seeing them. Though at the same time I felt like I had lost something really important to me. I lost the only two people that had been with me for more than half my life. They raised me and took care of me and now they're just leaving me like I was never their daughter. To be honest it kind of hurt but Mayu was there by my side to support me and her family was more than welcome to support me. Therefore we had prepared our wedding and on the day it was as magical as the dance. The wedding was outside in a garden filled with all kinds of exotic flowers and a beautiful lake in the background. There was an orchestra playing music and tons of guests. I was even surprised to see my own family had come. They told me that they had thought about it and they were now willing to accept me for who I was. Everything was going so well but this was just the beginning of the day.

"Yuki get ready it's almost time!"

"Hai hai I'm going!"

The music played and everyone grew quiet facing towards the beginning of the isle. Mayu stepped forward in a beautiful white dress holding flowers. She gracefully made her way down the isle just like she did when I first saw her. That day in the school when she moved down the isle to the desk behind mine. She was moving closer and closer to me until finally we were right next to each other. The priest started to say the vows and I didn't remember most of them except for the ones we all hear in the movies.

"Do you, Kashiwagi Yuki, take Watanabe Mayu to be your lovely wedded wife?"

"I do."

"And do you, Watanabe Mayu, take Kashiwagi Yuki to be your lovely wedded wife?"

"I do."

"Then I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may kiss the bride!"

The moment finally came and so I took Mayu's lips into mine and held her hand symbolizing our love. We were now as one together and no force on this earth will ever separate us. The people cheered for us and flower petals were thrown into the air as doves were set free. We turned to the crowd and saw many smiling faces along with some tears of joy. Mayu and I made our way down the isle where there was a car to take us home after the ceremony. Before leaving, Mayu had to turn and throw the flowers and so she turned and on the count of three. She then threw the flowers high into the air into a mass crowd of women. I watched the women swarm and fight for the flowers but then when I saw who caught the flowers I actually laughed a little. It was a little girl who was standing next to one of her friends and the two looked so happy. I could tell good things were going to happen with them. Mayu and I said our final goodbyes and then we drove away in our car with the "Just Married" sign on the back. Mayu was so happy that day and I remember the smile she had on her face. That was an expression of true happiness and I was hoping to make more moments with Mayu like this. We've made it this far in life so we just kept moving forward ready to face whatever would come at us. Mayu and I were so young back then, it makes me smile thinking of those times back then.

Years had passed and many things had happened since our wedding. Mayu had graduated from college and was already working as an artists while I had obtained my masters in business and finance. We had bought our own home and now I'm working on getting my business going. It was hard and stressful but somehow I was making through the daily stresses of owning a business. Despite the moments of complete insanity and all hell Mayu managed to keep me calm. We were making it on our own with only each other and I loved the way things were. I remember one day though Mayu came up with a crazy idea that well I actually thought was brilliant. It was a winter night and Mayu and I were cuddling on the couch together when suddenly Mayu had turned to me and said,

"Nee Yuki.. let's have a baby."

It took me a minute to process what she had said and when I realized what she said I nearly fell off the couch. I was blown back by her statement and was filled with questions but the only thing that came out of my mouth was,


"I feel like we're missing something in this relationship and after thinking about it I figured out what we were missing was a family. Let's have a baby Yuki."

"Mayu are you sure about this? I mean do you really think we're suited to be parents?"

"I think Yuki will be a great papa."

I smiled and held Mayu's waist feeling how slim it was now but possibly in a couple months it'll be round like a ball. I thought about it for a minute to see if I was really suited to be a parent. I had my doubts but when I saw the look in Mayu's eyes, I knew this is what she really wanted. Therefore I smiled and said,

"Alright Mayu let's have a baby."

A month later we filled out the work need and followed the procedures needed. Day later we then got the good news that Mayu was pregnant with our child.The excitement was incredible and Mayu and I were both eager to be parents. We started decorating the house getting it ready for the baby. We had cleaned out an old storage room and had it furnished along with toys from my childhood. We didn't know what color to paint the room since we didn't know the gender but were hoping for a daughter. A couple months had passed and I saw Mayu's belly start to grow. Just seeing her and the baby growing everyday brought me great joy thinking I'll be able to hold my baby's hand one day. I was excited for our soon to be born child and was already thinking of the future. Where they would go to school and the friends they would meet. All the places we would go and maybe even a future sibling. My head was high in the clouds and I didn't notice the things happening on the ground until one day..

One day I was at work when suddenly I felt something drip from my nose onto my keyboard. I looked down and saw it was blood. I ran to the bathroom to clean myself off and saw it was still bleeding so I took a towel and tried to stop it. I thought it was a simple nosebleed but suddenly I started to feel faint and dizzy. I was able to make it out of the bathroom to the main lobby and it was there I had collapsed. I didn't remember what had happened but when I opened my eyes I saw I was in the hospital and Mayu was standing next to me holding my hand. She looked worried and scared with tears in her eyes. I smiled and told her I was fine and told her to go back to work so she did. A while later a doctor came in and told me I had collapsed and they were running some tests on me. They didn't know what had caused me to collapse but I felt fine at the moment so they let me go home and I carried on in my life working and watching the baby grow. Then a one day I got a phone call from the doctor to come in and speak with him for he had some news for me. We sat down and then he handed me a file about a disease labeled Heart Cancer. I looked up at the doctor who had a sad look on his face and then he said,

"I'm sorry to say this Kashiwagi-san but you have heart cancer."

I was silent for a moment processing what was happening and then I realized that I had heart cancer and I was going to die. Cancer is an incurable disease depending on how severe it was. For me mine was already in the second stage and I knew there was no point in trying the radiation therapies. It would only slow it down but it wouldn't cure it no matter what they did. I was going to die and the thought of it scared me but what scared me more was what was going to happen to Mayu? What was going to happen to my baby? The two most important people in my life and I won't be able to see them. The emotions at the time were a mixture of anger, fear, and sadness. Why now and why me? Why did I have to get cancer why does life have to be so unfair? The things that were happening to me at the moment were just unfair to me and Mayu but there was nothing I could do. Therefore I had no choice but to accept my fate and then try to make the most out of my life. Make my last moments on Earth the best and every single moment will be with Mayu.

After my diagnosis the doctor said I would have a couple months to live if I'm lucky. I had decided not to tell Mayu about my illness for I was afraid it would upset her. I was afraid it would also hurt the baby and so I kept quiet. I was hoping I would live long enough to see my child born and I would at least touch its tiny hand. Sadly the side effects were starting to kick in and every once in a while I would go into a cough spell. Whenever I did I would move away from Mayu and tell her that I must have been sick. She didn't see the handkerchief stained with blood hidden in my hand. Months had passed and Mayu's belly grew bigger and bigger with each passing day. Meanwhile my health was slowly deteriorating and I was becoming weaker. It was a couple weeks before I became bedridden where I took Mayu to a park where we cuddled under the stars. I remember Mayu said to me,

"The stars are pretty tonight."

I smiled and told her,

"Did you know that when someone dies, their spirt flies to the sky where they become a star?"

"Really? What a nice thing to think about when you lose a loved one."

"My grandmother told me that before she had passed. Even today when I look up at the stars, I see how beautiful they are. I think that among all those billions of stars my grandmother is up there somewhere watching over me."

"Your grandmother must have been a kind woman."

"She was.. I think you would have liked her."

"Nee Yuki.."


"Do you think the baby will like us?"

"I think she'll love you~"


After that Mayu and I were together all the time and everyday the baby was growing more. I had to help Mayu a lot since she was slightly enabled but she was still happy and cheerful as ever. Meanwhile my body was slowly giving out on me growing weaker. I would got into cough spells more often and I would cough up more blood. I also had to stay in bed more because just walking would make me feel like I was going to faint. It was getting hard to hide from Mayu and I knew my time was running low. The pain in my chest was reaching its breaking point and soon my heart wouldn't be able to take it. All I asked for was just a couple more days. A couple more days was all I needed for Mayu was going to give birth soon. I just had to hold onto until then but would I make it? I prayed everyday asking God for just a little more time and then finally the day came.

"Just hang in there Watanabe-san!"

Mayu was screaming and shouting in pain because the labor process wasn't exactly easy. I kissed Mayu's hand and watched the nurses wheel her into the labor room. I was worried about her but knowing Mayu I knew she would be fine. Mayu was strong and so I had faith in her knowing that she would make it. I stood in the waiting room watching time go by as the minutes passed. Then finally the nurse came out saying that Mayu had given birth to a baby girl. I was overly delighted with the good news and couldn't wait to see my baby girl. The nurse led me to the room where Mayu was staying and there she was holding a baby wrapped in a pink blanket. She looked tired but she was also very happy to see our child. I too was filled with overwhelming joy and I could barely contain myself. Instead I walked over to her where she showed me the baby's face.

"She's beautiful." I said with tears in my eyes.

"She is.. Oh Yuki I'm so happy." she said.

"You did it Mayu.. You brought our daughter into this world."

"And now she has two loving parents to watch over her."

When she said "two" my heart sank deeper than the abyss for she wasn't going to have two. I was going to cry but I held back my tears and instead I held out my finger. I watched my little girl grab it and smile. There at that time my baby girl was born and now she was holding my hand. The moment that I had prayed for had finally come and with that I could die happily. Suddenly the pain in my heart grew too much and I could no longer stand. My body collapsed and hit the ground hard. I could hear Mayu calling my name and the baby crying. I felt terrible for making the baby cry but what was worse was seeing Mayu's face. Tears were pouring from her eyes as she looked down at my body slowly losing its life. I wanted to get up and apologize but I just couldn't and could no longer move. My heart was slowing down and everything around me was growing dark. I could hear Mayu calling my name over and over but I couldn't answer her. The air from my very lungs was slowly leaving my body. The last thing I saw before my heart gave out was Mayu's sad face. In my head I said to myself,

"Mayu.. Gomene.."

My eyes had closed, my heat stopped, and with my final breath leaving me I, Kashiwagi Yuki, had died.

5 Years Later

It was a cool summer night and all was calm and peaceful at an old cemetery. The graves were all alined one by one some with flowers resting upon them and others had pictures or toys. Fireflies were drifting along just above the ground flashing their lights to each other. Life was peaceful in the cemetery silent and void of life. However there was one grave located on a hill just past the gates of the cemetery of someone who was buried there on request. Sitting next to a sakura tree, the petals floated through the breeze of the late night. Standing on that hill was a woman and a little girl holding the woman's hand. The woman was holding a single flower where she had placed it in front of the grave and then she said a silent prayer. Then turning to her child, the little girl asked,

"Why are you crying mama?"

Without even realizing it the woman wiped away the tears that were on the brims of her eyes. She then smiled and said to her child,

"I'm not crying dear there's just something in my eyes. Come on dear let's go home."

The woman picked up the child and was going to walk away when the child suddenly said,

"Mama today in class I saw all the other kids with their mamas and papas. Where's my papa?"

Mayu didn't want to tell her child that her father had died when she was just a baby. She thought her daughter was too young to understand life and death. She had to come up with an answer to tell her so she wouldn't worry and so she remembered and old story she was told. With a sad smile and a kiss on her daughter's forehead she answered,

"Well Yuki-chan papa is.. among the stars." 
« Last Edit: May 01, 2014, 01:04:41 PM by kuro_808 »
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Re: AKB Fanfics Contest 2014- SIGNUPS Updated 3/9/14 (PRIZES ANNOUNCED)
« Reply #12 on: May 01, 2014, 12:30:53 PM »
Entry #9

“Ogasawara Mayu, definitive transfer in AKB48’s Team B.”

Are you fucking kidding me? What’s that? What are you doing? It’s a joke right? You can’t do it. You can’t send Maachun in AKB48. You can’t let her leave NMB48. I’m shocked. I’m not the only one. Around me I see the other’s face. Until now we saw so many crazy things in that shuffle. I put my eyes on you. You stand up. Around you all other member of Team N are watching you. You’re alone among them. They’re shocked. Some are crying. Some are just too stunned to react. I’m watching you walking between them, climb the stairs and line up with other members. Like nothing. I don’t know what to think. It’s just hard to realize what’s going on here. Other names are called. But I just focus on yours. I didn’t even realize that Milky’s name wasn’t called in team B. I even forget my own position as a Team K member. I’m watching you, walking with these girls, with your new teammates. No. No. I can’t say that. I can’t think that. We are your teammates. You are a NMB48 member. A 1st generation member… You’re one of those who helped that group to climb where it is right now. You are a core member. You can’t be in AKB48. It’s not possible.

I just let the event pass. My reaction… Yeah, of course... I’m an idol. I have to react. But I don’t really understand what I hear. What I see. What I feel. It’s just an automatic mode. We leave the stage one by one. Some people try to speak with me. I don’t listen to them. My eyes are on you. I see you. Speaking and laughing with Watanabe-san and Kashiwagi-san. So what? You already replaced us? It’s so easy to change a group? What I’m thinking. You’re not like that. You’re one of the members who love NMB48 the most. Why I’m so crazy? Why I’m panicking like that? We are members of the 48 group. All of us know that anything can happen. Each of us knows that nothing is stable in that world. But I can’t help. I don’t really care about other event of that night. In my head only that… “Maachun is moving to AKB48.”


You turn around. It’s the first time since the announcement that my eyes meet yours. You’re smiling. You’re always smiling. Around us, one by one people leave. Like as if they leave us alone. It’s not the real reason. They just continue their life without a glance at us. But I don’t care. She’s waiting. Waiting for me… But the truth is that I don’t know what to say. I’m lost. And the worst is that I don’t understand how she can be so calm. Why I am the only who is freaking lost?

“Congratulations for your double position in team K Sayaka. I’m sure that you’ll do great things in both groups.”

It’s hurt. It’s hurt me so hard. Why are you congratulating me? It’s just a double position. What will it change? The half of my work is already with AKB-san because of my position in their senbatsu. I’ll just stand on their stage by moment. But you… You… You’ll be only on their stage. Only in their songs… Only on their shows… Only with them… I clench my fist my nails digging into my skin. You don’t move. I’m not at ease. It’s unusual to see that much distance between us. Are you already that far away?

“Yeah… There were… many shocking announcements.”

I feel awkward. Is it me? Is it really my fault? That girl without self-confidence… Yeah. It’s me. I’ve always been that girl. It’s because of my position that I try to seem strong. It’s because of my role that I always seem like I control everything. But you know that it’s just a mask. But you know that if I can be like that it is thanks of you, my pillar. I’m losing my balance.

“Mayu… Will you accept that transfer…?”

“Why I wouldn’t do it?”

Her reply was too fast. Without thinking… And it wasn’t the reply that I wanted to hear. I heard my heart broke. Yeah. Literally I heard the sound of my heart. How can you say that? I mean. It’s obvious. Do you really need another reason than past these three years and half in NMB48? I run to her. Grab her shoulders. Shake her a little. Why? Why are you so calm? Why do you keep that smile on your cute face? Where is the Ogasawara that I know? The girl who is always fooling around… The girls who does everything to make people laugh… The girls who has namba soul more than anyone… Why are you just standing here keep smiling like you’re watching a selfish child throwing a tantrum? Wait. I’m that child? Are you seeing me as an annoying child who is throwing a tantrum to see you not leaving NMB? Maybe… Maybe it’s true.

“Why? Because you’re one of us… Because you’re a NMB member… Because you’re a team N member… Because you can’t accept to leave us like that.”

She smiled again. But… Her smile… It was so sad. I never saw that kind of smile on her face. Why…? Why are you so sad? Do you realize that you’ll leave your group? Do you finally realize that? No. You already knew. You understand everything. Why…? Why I can’t make you stay? When I opened my eyes again she was gone. During how much time did I keep my eyes closed? I don’t know. I sighed. And now? Why…? Why had she said nothing?
After a little passage to the dressing room and just the right amount of time to get back into my civil clothes. In the bus I sat beside Nana. I saw her, in the back of the bus, next to Akari. She was crying while Maachun trying to cheer her up. It’s was her. The Maachun that I like… The usual Maachun, but… Why she wasn’t like that with me earlier? Why does she seem so different right now? So… like her.
That night, I didn’t sleep. Did I fail? As a captain…? As a friend…? Did I fail somewhere? I mean. It’s not the first time. Every time I see a member leaving I feel like a failure. At least only when it’s not a graduation for usual reasons… But it’s not a graduation here. She’s not leaving the 48 groups. She’s only transferred. And. It’s not like it’s her choice. She’s like us… She knew nothing about all of that. I wonder what she is doing right now, surely speaking with her parents about the entire situation and about her future. And me I’m here staring at my ceiling.
The next day, I didn’t see her that much. We were busy. And. I kinda feel like she’s avoiding me. I don’t know why. She thinks like that. Why…? Why am I thinking about this that much? Hours passed. I wasn’t really concentrated on work. I feel ashamed for that. I should not be letting that kind of thing affect my work. It didn’t affect hers. Another night… Milky sent me a message some time ago. She’s at karaoke with Maachun and some other members. Having fun I guess. I kinda want to be with them. But at the same time I don’t feel strong enough to be in the same room that Maachun. Since when did I feel uncomfortable to be in the same room than her? Since when did I let something affect me like that? Since when did I become that kind of people who thinks that much?
My phone rang. I open my eyes. What’s time is it? Don’t know. I just grab my phone. A mail… From Miyuki… Since when did you start texting me during night?

“You don't know what you've got until it's gone. But in your case, she’s not gone yet. Stop being blind, you’re not the only one suffering. ”

Wait. What are you saying Milky? It’s not the kind of message that your usually send. It’s too serious. What do I have to understand? I think she’s speaking about Maachun. Yeah. I understand what I’m losing. My best friend… I know perfectly well. I don’t need that kind of message. And yes, she’s not gone yet but I can’t do anything. My words don’t touch her. I’m just useless. I just feel so weak. Usually, it’s so easy. I just have to stand up, speak in a clear voice, and they will all listen to me. It’s easy because I know that you’re beside me. Usually, it’s so easy. I can be an idiot and do crazy things. It’s easy because I know that you’ll laugh and do crazy things with me. Usually, it’s so easy. I don’t have to be afraid to seem weak. It’s easy to know that with you by my side I’m always strong. Usually it’s easy. I never feel alone. It’s easy because you always know when to send me a message to keep me company.
It’s why tonight I feel like nobody is listening to me. I feel so adult. I feel so weak. I feel so lonely.
Stop being blind… Stop being blind… Milky… What are you trying to say? On what should I open my eyes? On Maachun? Yeah I know that she’s important to me. Everyone can see it. Important… Yeah. She is. More than anyone… Would I be that afraid if anyone else was in Maachun’s situation? Yeah, of course… I’m NMB48’s captain. I would be like that for each of my member. Tsk. I don’t even know who I want to fool with that kind of pretty sentence. It’s so hard because it’s Maachun. It’s so hard because I can’t imagine being without her. Because I don’t want to... Because I’m nothing more than a normal girl without her… Because she’s all my awesomeness… The moon only shines because she has a sun. It’s the same for me.
It’s today; it’s the last day where they can refuse the decision. It’s my last chance. I run. Some girls try to salute me but I don’t see them. I need to find her. And I did it. She was in the training room. Alone; repeating a stage song… It makes me remember that whatever is her choice, the shuffle isn’t effective yet. Tomorrow she will be on stage with me. But until when? I run front of her. I look at her. Sweat on her forehead. As always… I’m out of breath but I don’t care. I’m looking into her eyes. She don’t seem so surprised to see me her. But… Is that, relief on her face? I grab her arms. Desperately…

“Don’t leave. Please. Don’t leave the team. Don’t leave us.”

I pull her toward me in an embrace. I just want to feel her against me and never let her go. But, I also don’t want let her see my red face.  She says nothing. She doesn’t even move. But just with her heartbeat I can feel that she’s kinda in shock. It’s not the first time that I hug her. Yeah, maybe not like I’m doing it right now and never with that much strength and passion… I finally let her go, my eyes on hers.

“Don’t leave me Mayu.”

I finally said it. Don’t leave me. I care about the group. It’s the truth. But I want to be selfish. I have to be selfish. And the truth is that more than anything I don’t want to lose you. It’s me who doesn’t want to be alone. It’s me who just wants to keep you by my side. Next to me… with me… I don’t want to think that maybe tomorrow is the last stage that I’ll do with you. I want to think that tomorrow will be another genius stage with you. My throat is strangely dry. You say nothing. Please. Say something. Stop being so silent… It’s not you. I continue. Looking into her eyes never blinking… Never looking elsewhere… Like she’ll disappear if I stop looking at her eyes…

“I need you. I love you.” I finally whispered.

“Heavyyyy Rotation”, she crooned softly.

… Mayu… Stupid little brat… It took me so long to find out about my feelings. To understand why all of this affected me so much… To find how to express it and the courage to say it front you. And you… you… YOU ARE SINGING HEAVY ROTATION! I hate you. I hate that amusing smile which is so cute on your face. I hate that happiness that I can see shining in your eyes. I hate that hand that took mine softly. I hate that you are trying to calm me down with stupid things when I was thinking that my heart will leave my body. I pouted.

“... Don’t ruin someone confession like that Maachun, it is mean.”

She smiled softly. I don’t understand. How she can do that? Five minute ago it’s was a dramatic scene where I thought I’ll desperately be crying and implore her to not leave me. And here I am. Having my head patted by her and dying in front of her cute smile… That girl could make everything become fluffy.

“It took you a while. It’s been more than three years that I’ve been waiting to hear these words.”

Sadness… in her eyes… in her smile… I feel like a monster. What did I say? Fluffy. Yes. She can make my life so fluffy easily. But she can also remind me that I surely made her life a hell during these years. You’re not the only one to suffer. Yes Milky is true. I suffered during these two last days. But her, it’s been three years and half. Since the beginning… I saw nothing.

“Sorry…” I tell softly.

“Boys don’t cry.”

I was about to complain. I’m not a boy. Okay. I know that I have short hair. I know that I often wore boyish clothes.  I know that I can be a great ikemen if I want. But I’m a girl. I have boobs. But I didn’t complain. Crying…? Who is crying? It seems it’s me. I didn’t even realize that I’m crying.  I use my hand to chase all tears on my face. I don’t like when people see me cry. I pouted again.

“They do.”

“You read too much Yaoi.”

“It’s only because you bought them.”

I hit her shoulder with my fist. She pretended to fall on the floor. With a little laugh I just lie down beside her. The floor is cold. But I don’t really care. New silence is between us. It’s not like we want to touch on that topic. Especially since both of us already knew the answer. I finally understood.

“So… will you leave?”

“Yeah… And you know, as captain, that it’s the only thing I can do. NMB will start another chapter, and it will be without me.”

I asked. I don’t like that word. Leaving… I don’t understand all the meaning beside that word. I don’t like the idea that I’ll not be in NMB48’s theater with you anymore after the shuffle. I don’t like the idea to not hear your jokes in the dressing room with you. I don’t like the idea that you’ll touch other boobs than NMB’s. I don’t like the ideas that you’ll share your path with another group. But I also know that I can’t do anything. You’ll be a Team B member. And you’ll do it great. I know you, more than anyone. I don’t know where that shuffle will send us. I don’t know if it’s not a big mistake. But, we accepted it, the day where we signed that contract. No. The day where we passed that auditions… We give our life to Akimoto-sensei, we decided, all of us, to have confidence in him and his choices.
But I’m kinda nervous about the future. Not about her future… but about our team’s future, transfers, double positions, shuffles between teams, new members from other group, and promotions. So many changes…

“People come and leave. It’s been like that since the beginning. It’s the role of those who are still here and those who will come to support the group.”

You say. It’s true. It’s like that. That world… Since the beginning of the group we saw our friends leave one by one. We saw new generations come and take their place. We all kinda want to be irreplaceable. But we all know that we are not, whatever it our place is in the group. But, those pretty words are only available for idol groups. Because, as a person, sometimes you meet someone who will be irreplaceable for you… It’s pretty sure that NMB can deal without you, surely it will be hard but AKB-san survived well without Maeda-san, so we all know that everything is possible. But… I’m not as strong as the group. I need you.

“But who will support me?”

I whisper. I know that you heard me. It’s not like there are another noise in the training room. It’s only us. You get up. You’re now front of me. I straighten up on my elbows. You have a serious face. It’s rare. I like it. You reach out your hand toward me. I take it. It’s hot. It’s sweet.

“It’s not because I won’t be a NMB member anymore that I’m not by your side. My heart belongs to you, so I’ll always be in NMB.”

My heart missed a heartbeat. Maachun… She is the kind of girl to always be with me, to accept my hugs and everything. But she’s not someone who really expresses her feelings; she’s pretty shy in that case. But here… To hear that… It was the only thing I needed to hear after the announcement. Wherever you are, you’ll be always with me.

“Come on Sayanee. We have to practice, N3 still not as perfect as it should be.”

She helps me get up. She’s not gone yet. She’s still a Team N member for the moment. I follow her. Without a word looking at her back… So it’s like that. Three year that she passed looking at my back. Being in my shadow… Always here to help me to stand front of all those people. But today I want to be on her back. To follow her… And just not release her hand.

Ogasawara Mayu is Ogasawara Mayu no matter where she is.
And wherever you are I’ll support you.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2014, 01:11:55 PM by kuro_808 »
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Offline kuro808

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Re: AKB Fanfics Contest 2014-Voting is OPEN Until May 9th
« Reply #13 on: May 01, 2014, 01:16:54 PM »
Please read first post on how to vote

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Offline sakura_drop_

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Re: AKB Fanfics Contest 2014-Voting is OPEN Until May 9th
« Reply #14 on: May 02, 2014, 09:29:16 AM »
1) Entry #1
2) Entry #3
3) Entry #9
"人間みんな変態だから" - 古川愛李, SKE48 新高柳チームKII 「シアターの女神」千秋楽公演, 2014.04.18 <"Because all people are perverts." - Furukawa Airi, SKE48 New Takayanagi Team KII [Theater no Megami] Last Stage, 2014.04.18>

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Offline blakwhite

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Re: AKB Fanfics Contest 2014-Voting is OPEN Until May 9th
« Reply #15 on: May 02, 2014, 02:49:21 PM »
1.) entry #7
2.) entry #3
3.) entry #5

Offline mo-chan

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Re: AKB Fanfics Contest 2014-Voting is OPEN Until May 9th
« Reply #16 on: May 02, 2014, 06:13:36 PM »

1) Entry #8
2) Entry #3
3) Entry #2

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Offline Zhen

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Re: AKB Fanfics Contest 2014-Voting is OPEN Until May 9th
« Reply #17 on: May 02, 2014, 06:36:26 PM »
1) Entry #2
2) Entry #1
3) Entry #7

Offline olive29

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Re: AKB Fanfics Contest 2014-Voting is OPEN Until May 9th
« Reply #18 on: May 02, 2014, 07:15:10 PM »
1) Entry #7
2) Entry #3
3) Entry #1

Offline River1721

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Re: AKB Fanfics Contest 2014-Voting is OPEN Until May 9th
« Reply #19 on: May 03, 2014, 01:14:29 AM »
1.) Entry #2
2.) Entry #7
3.) Entry #8

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