JPHiP Radio (20/200 @ 128 kbs)     Now playing: Cune - Dramatic Exotic Automatic

Author Topic: An Annoying Paradise - Daria ch 6 - Stacy  (Read 534 times)

Offline resop2

  • ecchi
  • Member+
  • Posts: 885
An Annoying Paradise - Daria ch 6 - Stacy
« on: September 22, 2017, 04:00:36 AM »
This will be a new experiment for me.  I am releasing this both here and on

Because it will also be on some of the character names have been changed
so it cannot be accused of being a real person fan fic, but the characters should be
pretty obvious.

This is a distant sequel to the "An Annoying Paradise" fic.  Many years have past.  Most
of the major and minor characters have moved on, but Harmony Project, Jeneral
Entertainment, and Ajax remain.

If you don't like the idea of mixing American cartoon characters with H!P idol (trainees)
then you have been warned.
« Last Edit: Today at 04:45:44 AM by resop2 »

Offline resop2

  • ecchi
  • Member+
  • Posts: 885
Re: An Annoying Paradise - Daria
« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2017, 04:29:11 AM »

Living in Tokyo, 8th grader Asamura Daria has always wanted to be a writer.  However, one day she is shocked to discover that a path is available to her that could greatly increase her chances of success at being an author.  However, this path will force her to do the last things on earth that she thought she'd be doing.  Ch 1 - "A Faustian Bargain", it's a complete turnover story.

(end promo)

An Annoying Paradise - Daria -- A Faustian Bargain

Author's note: This story includes many characters not from the Daria universe, many of which are based on real people.  No names of real people or real companies are used, however, many will be able to figure out who the characters are based on.

"Are you even listening to me?"

Startled, Asamura Daria (1) looks up from her book and looks at her sister, Asamura Quinn (2), through large glasses.  "Who are you again?"  The sparsely filled bus they are riding in hits a bump and jostles the two of them.

Quinn groans.  "Aren't you supposed to be watching out for me?"

"You're still here."

"Well, even though I don't mean it, I guess I should thank you for that."

"Mom paid me five thousand yen (3) to do it, so you don't have to thank me if you don't want to."

"Whatever!  Daria, you wouldn't understand what this audition is, but to me it means everything.  You could at least pretend to support me."

"Do your best, rah rah."  Daria dead pans.

"Sometimes I wish you weren't an alien.  Then you would understand what a big deal an idol audition is for a young girl."

"Is that what we're going to?"  Daria makes a disgusted face.

Quinn rolls her eyes.  "Here!"  Quinn shoves a flier in Daria's face.

Daria reads it.  "But, this isn't an idol audition, this is an idol trainee audition."

"When the see me, they will instantly debut me."

Daria keeps reading.  "Well, Mom might like that.  It says that there is a ten thousand yen a month training fee for trainees."

"She told me I should follow my dreams."

"She was probably surprised that you had dreams beyond correctly coordinating your outfit for the day."

"Yet another thing that you wouldn't understand.  Oh, here's our stop."

Daria and Quinn catch a commuter train taking them to the heart of Shibuya.  The train is crowded and they can barely talk to each other.  Terrified, Quinn holds on to Daria the whole way.

After getting off the train, Daria follows the directions on the fly to get Quinn to the audition.  "I am surprised at one thing though."

"At how pretty I am today?"

"Well, aren't your three friends from school also auditioning?"

"Yes, but they're riding with Sandi's Mom."

"Why aren't you with them?"

"Daria, being an idol is a constant struggle.  Since they are going to accept all of us, soon I will be rivals of Sandi, Tiffany, and Stacy instead of being fashion club friends."

"Oh, here we are."

Quinn shakes in fear and freezes.

"If you want to give up I won't care.  I've already been paid."

Quinn shakes it off.  "No, I will do it."

Quinn and Daria walk into the lobby of the Harmony Project building.  Quinn gets in line to sign up while Daria excuses herself to sit in the cafeteria to read.


"Excuse me, miss?"

Daria looks up.  A well dressed man is sitting across the table from her.  "Who are you?"

"My professional name is the English letter 'T'.  I am the head producer for Harmony Project."

"Asamura Daria.  Can I help you?"

"Asamura, Asamura, are you Quinn's sister?"


"You look just like her."

"I do not!"  Daria turns red.

"Will you be auditioning today?"

"No.  It is not my ambition to dedicate my youth to smiling and acting cutesy all the time."

"So why did you come?"

"To watch over Quinn."

"She left thirty minutes ago."


"She left with three friends."

Daria takes out her cell phone to call her sister.  She confirms that she is riding home with Sandi's mother.  "I guess she's okay."

"I noticed the book you are reading.   The Housekeeper and the Professor by Ogawa Youko.  That was one of my favorites when I was young."

Daria blushes.  "Forgive me for asking, but are you ... (4)"

"Gay?"  T laughs.  "I am married and have two kids.  However, reading novels and manga written for and by women helps me get inspirations for songs."

"Sounds reasonable."

"Would you like to be a writer when you grow up?"

Daria blushes even redder.  "I guess so, but I probably would not be very good."

T laughs.  "Do you think you would have better chances if you had a mentor?"


"No, I am way too busy.  But, have you heard of  Enchi Murasaki?"

"The authoress of 'A Tale of Masks'?  She's one of my favorites."

"Did you know that she teaches at Tokyo Fine Arts School?"

"Wow!  But, isn't that school really expensive?"

"One hundred thousand yen per month tuition."

"My mom would never spring for that."

"Would she spring for ten thousand a month?"

"The idol trainee fee?  Well, she apparently would have for Quinn.  But, why?"

"Well, if you became an idol trainee, one of the perks that come with the trainee fee is free tuition at TFAS."

Daria chuckles.  "That's really nice, but me?  I am untalented and nonathletic.  I would never be able to pass your audition.  You're just teasing me."

T laughs hard.  "Miss Daria, I think you have a misconception about the nature of this audition.  We didn't want to eliminate anyone.  The more people we signed, the more money we take in."

Daria turns white.  "So, Quinn and her friends passed?"

"No, those four, along with one hundred and ninety seven of the two hundred girls who showed up, all walked away by their own choice."

Daria smiles a sly smile.  "So what did you tell them to crush their dreams?"

"Well, I told them they couldn't date boys as an idol.  One of your sister's friends laughed and said that I was just saying that as lip service and I told her that I was deadly serious and the rule was enforced for all idols all the time.  That's when they bolted."

"And, the others?"

"Many more left when I mentioned how many hours a day they were expected to practice, and then all but three left when I mentioned that at some point they would eventually have to do handshake events where they would shake the hands of thousands of creepy looking middle aged men."

"So three passed?"

"Three didn't quit."

"Now, wait a second, are you seriously saying that I can be a trainee?"

"I think you are a good candidate.  You have a burning ambition to be a writer and you would be willing to fake being a trainee and waste your parents money so that you could have a famous authoress as a mentor."

"You don't care that I will never be any good?"

"I don't care at all, after all your parents' money will be appreciated.  But, there are three people that you would have to keep happy."

"Sounds ominous."

"Why don't I introduce them to you?"

Daria follows T while making a face as if she was being forced to eat unpleasant food.  They enter a large room.

"I found a straggler.  She's already heard the speech.  She wants to be an author one day and feels she can use Harmony Project to get into TFAS.  Daria, this is our head singing coach Sachiko."

Daria bows.  "Please take care of me."

The middle aged blonde lady bows and smiles.  "Please take care of me as well."

"This is Ai, she will be you dance instructor."

Daria bows.  "Please take care of me."

A thirty something short brunette bows and smiles.  "Please take care of me as well."

"And, this is Risa, our fitness trainer."

Daria bows.  "Please take care of me."

A thirty something short red head with short hair bows and smiles.  "Please take care of me as well."

"These are the three people you will have to keep happy.  If they are not happy with you, you will be kicked out of Harmony Project and your parents will have to pay the TFAS tuition."

Daria gulps.

"Honestly, they do not care if you are untalented and nonathletic.  But, they do care if you try or not.  If you follow their instructions, I am sure you will surprise yourself.  If you don't follow their instructions, they will notice."

Daria gulps again.

"So, will you go for it and chase your dream?"

Daria thinks for about a minute, looking at Sachiko, Ai and Risa with fear.  "Yes.  Even though I will fail at being an idol, I cannot pass up being mentored by Enchi-sensei."

Sachiko gives Daria a funny look.  "Daria, are you saying that my teaching is too weak to help you succeed?"

"I'm saying that I am too hopeless."

Sachiko laughs.  "You should have heard many of our most famous idols when they first started out."

"I'm probably worse."

Sachiko walks over to a keyboard.  "Just say 'ba' and try to mimic the notes.  When I get back to the beginning of the arpeggio you can say 'ka'."

Daria giggles over Sachiko allowing her to call call Sachiko a dummy (5).  "Okay.  Ba ba ba ba ba ba ka."

Sachiko laughs.  "Daria, you have no idea how many idols we have who couldn't even do that when they started.  But, they all worked hard, as you will, and they got better."

"Oops.  I should have pretended that I was worse."

T smiles.  "Don't worry, they will all start you at remedial level."

"What's that?"

"There are three levels: remedial, intermediate, and official.  Remedial trainees learn the basics in an individual setting.  Intermediate trainees apply the basics in a group setting, and official trainees are the ones considered good enough to be back dancers at Harmony Project concerts.  An official trainee will get an blog and a website profile, lower than that they will be anonymous.  An official trainee will also be under consideration to join existing groups if there is an opening or be placed in a new group.  Once they debut we pay them as opposed to them paying us."

"Well, I won't have to worry about that."

T raises an eyebrow.  "Who knows?  Besides, a blog would be good writing practice."

"If you say so."

"Now, there are three girls I want you to meet."

T leads Daria to another room.  "Girls!  I found a straggler.  Please treat her well."  T exits the room.

One girl glares at Daria with the scariest face Daria has ever seen.  Another girl, taller than Daria and having short hair, runs over and snatches her glasses.

"Minamo, take my picture!"

The third girl takes the taller girl's picture with her cell phone.  "Rikoko, you're scaring her.  You should give them back."

Rikoko complies.  "Sorry, but I love glasses shots."

The girl with the cell phone bows.  She has a prominent chin and long hair.  "Please forgive her.  My name is Minamo.  What is your name?"

"Asamura Daria."

"Daria-san, I should explain.  Rikoko is a junior model. She's super in demand.  She loves shoots where she can wear glasses because it makes her look smarter."

"Okay, I forgive you Rikoko."

"Thanks!  But, I will want to borrow them again.  Your glasses make me look really smart!"

"And, the girl over there who is glaring at you is Natsuko.  She doesn't hate you, it's just that her resting face looks angry."

"How are you, Natsuko?"

Natsuko breaks into a radiant smile.  "Good!"

Minamo looks relieved.  "What level are you, Daria-san?"

"You can call me Daria."

"Thanks!"  Minamo beams.

"I am remedial."

"Natsuko and I are intermediate.  Both of us have had three years of private training."

Daria's eye's become wide.  "Wow!"

"And, Rikoko is official."


"Her dad is the lead singer of a metal band so she is a second generation musician."

Rikoko bangs her head and flashes the metal hand sign.

"How old are you guys?"

Rikoko holds up six fingers.  "Sixth grade."

Natsuko and Minamo hold up seven fingers.

"Eight grade here."

Minako grabs Daria's arm.  "You can be our cool senpai."

"But, I am remedial."

"Doesn't matter."


"Thanks for meeting me here."

Ame Nichijo and Daria put down the ramen bowls and squeeze into a table at the local ramen shop.  "No problem.  After hearing your story on the phone I had to hear more."

"Well, after I got home, Mom said that of course she would pay for my idol training.  Quinn was throwing a tantrum saying that it was unfair that I was going to stand out more than her and then spent her time scheming on the phone with her friends."

"Sounds like the evil empire is planning a counter attack."  Nichijo slurps her noodles.

"Maybe TFAS has a program in coordinating outfits?"  Daria giggles.

"They don't."

"You seem to know a lot about TFAS."

Nichijo dons a superior look.  "My mom wanted me to go there so I had to look through all of their stuff.  But, in the end, I thought it would be more fun to stay with the awful school that I was used to."

"You could go there any time you want?"

"Yes, I can.  When do you start?"


"That's when I will start, then."

"What?  You don't have to do this for me."

"I'm doing it for myself.  It wouldn't be fun to be the school outcast by myself.  And, since you as Miss kira-kira (6) idol are going to be popular, I think it would be fun being one of the popular students in the new school."

"Are you jealous that I sold my soul to the devil?"

"Of course!  I paint all sorts of pictures of Makai (7) and the devil never takes notice.  Men, who can understand them?"

"Well, at least you'll get to date."

Nichijo smirks.  "Well, there is that.  However, I suspect that the art teachers will run me ragged with assignments."

"Speaking of assignments," Daria pulls out a piece of paper, "here's what I have to do everyday."

"Is this all?  I could do this stuff in five minutes."


"If you need a coach, just ask."

Daria frowns.  "You're not going to be the type of character who can effortlessly do everything the main character wants to do but can't?  Maybe instead of Nichijo I should call you Mary Sue ( 8 )?"

"I was thinking of a different name for myself for the new school, but I'll keep that quiet for now."

Daria sticks out her tongue.

"Heeey, guys."  An older teenage boy walks up to their table.

Nichijo smiles.  "I asked my brother to congratulate you as well."

"Hi Totoro."

"Daria, I think you should know that my band, Mystik Spiral Kakko Kari (9) is debuting in a couple of weeks at the club Cyberia.  However, I don't think that Ame Totoro is a good name for a band lead singer."

"Oh, you have a new name now?"

"Yeah.  My new last name is a translation of my last name into English.  My new last name is Lane (10)."

Daria nods.  "Sounds cool."

"And, Totoro is the name of some anime character, so I will go with Trent."

Daria gives a thumbs up.

"So, you're going to be a sell out idol who sort of sings, sort of dances, and sort of looks cute?"

Daria crawls out from under the hundred pound anvil of Totoro's words.  "Yes, I am selling my soul to the devil so I can be a writer."

"That's cool."

"It wasn't my idea.  The producer, T, talked me into it."

Totoro's eyes double in size.  "Wait, T is going to be your producer?  T from Shazam Q?"

Daria gets a blank look on her face.

Nichijo pulls out her smartphone and looks it up.  "They are one in the same."

"Woooah.  Shazam Q is my favorite band of all time.  Their song 'Go Forth as Squids' (11) inspired me to be a song writer.  Maybe I will have to check out the stuff he produces."

Nichijo nods.  "Sounds like a good idea."

"Gotta go now.  I have a band practice scheduled two hours ago.  They should just be getting there now."  Totoro leaves.

"So, will you go with me to his gig?"

Daria blushes.  "Sure."

To Be Continued

(1) Asamura Daria's name is written 朝村 ダリア.

(2) Asamura Quinn's name is written 朝村 クイン.

(3) Author's note: 100 yen is approximately 1 US dollar.

(4) Daria is not homophobic, it's just shocking to her that a guy would read a girls novel.

(5) "baka" means dummy in Japanese.

(6) "kira-kira" means sparkling in Japanese.

(7) "Makai" is the netherworld in Japanese.

( 8 ) "Mary Sue" is a fan fiction term meaning a super overpowered character with no flaws.

(9) Kakko Kari means "kari in parenthesis" (仮) and translates as "temporary".  It is a similar meaning as if Totoro was saying "our name is Mystik Spiral but we are thinking of changing the name".

(10) The translation of Ame (雨) is rain, but Lane is pronounced the same as rain in Japanese.

(11) Really bad pun time here.  'Go Forth as Squids' would be Ika-masshoi, as opposed to Ikimasshoi which means Let's Go!.

Offline resop2

  • ecchi
  • Member+
  • Posts: 885
Re: An Annoying Paradise - Daria
« Reply #2 on: October 12, 2017, 09:44:42 PM »

For Daria it's a new school, new mentors, a new rival, a new night club, and a new hair style for her best friend. Unfortunately, many of her old problems follow her to the new school. It's An Annoying Paradise Chapter two: Serial Experiments Lane, it's a complete turnover story.

(end promo)

An Annoying Paradise - Daria -- part 2 - Serial Experiments Lane

Daria and Nichijo breath heavily at the bus stop.

"Why did we run for three bus stops when we could have just took the first one?"

"Daria, if you want to be able to fake being an idol trainee, you're going to have to develop endurance."

"And singing, and dancing, and general body control."

"One step at a time."

"Oh, here it comes."

Daria and Nichijo board the bus.

"What are you doing here?"

Daria and Nichijo stare at Quinn and Stacy.  "Why wouldn't we be here?  Why are you guys here?"

Quinn gets a smug expression.  "We are starting at Tokyo Fine Arts School."

Daria makes a face.  "How did you convince Mom to pay for it?"

"Well, most people who go to TFAS get a huge tuition discount if they join one of the schools guilds.  So Stacy and I have joined the fashion design guild, as you would expect from the fashion club."

Nichijo thinks for a minute.  "Quinn, I happen to know a little bit about TFAS."

Quinn looks at Nichijo blankly.  "Who are you and why do you know my name?"

"Ame Nichijo.  You make fun of my fashion everyday in school even though you're my kouhai. (1)"

"Someone has to do it.  But, you're not her."

"I am wearing my hair up.  Doesn't it look cute?"

Quinn looks at Nichijo for a minute trying to picture her in her usual severe hair style.  "Oh, sorry."

"Anyway,  did you know that joining the fashion design guild at TFAS has nothing to do with coordinating outfits and has everything to do with," sinister pause, "sewing?"

Quinn looks sad.  "I know.  Sandi and Tiffany bailed when they heard that and went for the modeling guild."

Nichijo laughs.  "They are going to be so mad when they have to model clothes that they would rather die than be seen in."

Quinn nods.  "I know, but the alternatives were even more disgusting."

"So, you're willing to to brave the fashion classes?"

"I view myself a fashion avatar.  If I am not able to design my own style then I will be forever limited by other people's vision."

Nichijo smiles.  "You're willing to work?"

Quinn hangs her head.  "Please don't say that too loud."

Stacy squeezes Quinn's arm.  "It's okay.  We'll get through this together."

"Stacy, I don't think that fashion design is all that collaborative."

"It's not?  Quinn, don't leave me alone."  Stacy starts whining.

Daria and Nichijo roll their eyes.

Nichijo thinks for a minute.  "Quinn, you realize that the fashion guild does three shows a year and you'll be expected to exhibit a design each show?"

Quinn nods.

"And, if it's not up to standards they can kick you out?"

"No-oooooo!!!"  Quinn looks miserable.

Daria studies Quinn.  "Quinn, this isn't like you.  What is the real reason you're joining TFAS?"

"Daria, you wouldn't understand.  Once the word got out that my own sister was an idol and I wasn't then the entire fashion club would be branded as losers and we would become the school outcasts."

"So, it wasn't just that you were jealous that I was standing out more than you?"

"Well, of course there's that!"


"Class, we have two new transfer students starting today.  You first."

Daria and Nichijo stand at the front of the class.  Daria writes her name on the blackboard.  "My name is Asamura Daria.  However, my last name is a translation into Japanese of my father's last name.  He is from Germany and his last name is Morgendorrfer which means morning town.  That's where we got Asamura.  I am an idol singing trainee from Harmony Project, please take care of me."

Much to Daria's surprise no one teases her.

"And, now you."

Nichijo whispers to Daria.  "Ready for the big reveal?"

Daria nods.

Nichijo writes her name on the blackboard.  "Here is the kanji for my name, Ame Nichijo.  However, I am joining the fine arts guild so using my current name would be too ordinary."

Several members of the class face plant. (2)

Nichijo looks at the teacher.  "Was it that too bad a pun?"

"We have many students studying Manzai comedy." (3)

"Okay.  So, I will be using a kira-kira pronunciation of my name. (4)"  Nichijo writes her name on the blackboard in English.  "My name is Jane Lane."

Daria hears many of her new classmates murmur "cool name".

They sit down in seats next to each other.  "Jane, huh?"

"Please call me that from now on."


Jane and Daria put their books in their lockers.

"Daria, big trouble.  A girl is approaching who looks like she's going to beat you up."

Daria doesn't look up.  "I know who that is."  Daria turns around.  "Hi, Natsuko, Minamo."

"Daria-senpai!" (5)

"Oh, this is my friend Jane.  Jane, this is Natsuko and Minamo, by fellow idol trainees, although they are both way ahead of me."

Jane smirks.  "They won't be for long."

Minamo gathers up her courage.  "Daria-senpai, do you have a sister?"

"Why yes I do.  Her name is Quinn.  Although, in our previous school, she referred to me as the strange international transfer student who lives with her."

Minamo gets giddy.  "I knew it!  I knew it.  She's in our homeroom now.  She looks just like you."

"She does not!"  Both Jane and Daria say this in unison.

"She's so cool.  I want to wear the clothes she designs."

Daria rolls her eyes.  "I will be shocked if she lasts five minutes after the first time she stabs herself with a sewing needle."

Natsuko looks thoughtful.  "If she's your sister I think she will last."

Jane and Daria look at each other in shock.


"Come in, you must be Asamura Daria ."

"Yes, Enchi-sensei (6), that's who I am."

"Your producer T told me all about you."

Daria gulps.

"I told him that I would do my best to help you."


"So, Daria, have you written a lot before?"

"Nothing worth showing."

"Well, don't worry.  Let me tell you a little secret.  The best writing is relating things that you have experienced first hand."

"Then I should quit now and not burden the world with depressing books."

Enchi-sensei laughs.  "Well then, here is your first assignment, due next week: Write a description of one of your friends as if you were introducing them in a novel.  Figure out what makes them them special and make them pop off the page."

"Do they have to read it?"


"Good, I get to keep whatever friends I still have."

"Daria, you need to change your attitude a little bit.  You're in the Harmony Project idol trainee program.  You will be meeting some of the most colorful personalities anywhere.  This is a priceless opportunity for a writer to start developing a cast of characters in her head that she can use."

Daria smiles slightly.  "I would like to disagree, but I cannot."


Daria walks into an empty music class room.

She is soon joined by her singing instructor Sachiko (7).  "Good afternoon, miss Daria."

"Good afternoon Sachiko-sensei."

"We should be joined by another remedial student later on.  She's never on time so we should just get started."


"Did you do those exercises I gave you faithfully?"

"They got done, not by faithfulness on my part, but by the fact that I had a friend to nag me to do them."

"Wonderful!  You're so lucky."

"To be susceptible to bullying?"

Sachiko laughs.  "That's a much better trait than to be completely impervious to instruction."

Daria smiles.

Sachiko starts the lessons with warm ups.

Ten minutes later, another girl enters the room.  "Sorry I am late!"

Sachiko rolls her eyes.  "Daria, this is Haruko.  She is also a remedial idol trainee.  She's been remedial for six months now because she never does her assignments."

"I do too!"

Sachiko ignores her.  "I would hope that you will reach intermediate long before six months.  If you do, you'll get to practice with the rest of the trainees."

"As if I needed more humiliation in my life."

"Now, Daria.  If I approve you for intermediate, your practices will be fun, not humiliating.  However, there will probably always be girls who are ahead of you in singing but they want to sing with you, not to show you up."

"If you say so."

"Haruko, please warm up in the corner."

"Okay."  Haruko pouts.

"So, Daria, first we will go ever the exercises I gave you at the audition, then I will give you a new set of exercises for next week."



Daria and Haruko walk the halls of TFAS to get to conditioning instruction with Risa-sensei.

"I'm so sorry I was late, but there was this really cute guy who flirted with me and I just couldn't break away."

"Sachiko-sensei looked like she wanted to kill you."

"Who cares about her?  It's only a matter of time before they debut me."

Daria cringes, remembering how Haruko sang at practice.  "You realize that T won't debut you unless Sachiko approves?"

"If they don't I will just switch agencies."

Daria rolls here eyes.  "I hope that works out for you.  I'm just a beginner myself, but somehow what you said seems unlikely."

"Just wait until you see me in dance practice."

They get to the room where Risa-sensei waits for them.

"No way!  No way!  No way!  Haruko is not ten minutes late?"

"I'm here!"  Haruko strikes a pose.

"Miss Daria, how are you?"

"I am okay."

"Did you do all of the exercises that I gave you?"

"Well, my friend made me do them.  However, it was pretty embarrassing that I couldn't do two repetitions in a row of anything."

"But, you didn't give up?

"I wasn't allowed to."

"Excellent."  Risa brings a chair over.  "This might help you on the squats.  Pretend that you are sitting down in the chair.  When your butt just makes contact with the chair stand back up."

Daria does this in a clumsy way.


Daria does this again.

"There, two squats in a row!  You're definitely on your way."

"Well, that's better than falling over sideways."


Daria and Haruko walk to the classroom where Ai-sensei waits to teach them dance.

Haruko looks smug.  "So, you see how well conditioned I am?"

"I did notice one thing.  On the exercises we did together, Risa-sensei would give me tips on what I was doing wrong and how to correct my form but she didn't say anything to you."

"I'm perfect, that's why."

"You were doing the same things wrong."

"I was?  Oops."

"Has Risa corrected you many times before and you ignore her?"

Haruko blushes.  "Maybe."

They get to the room where Ai-sensei waits to teach them dance.

"Oh my god?  Haruko is on time?"

Daria smiles.  "I must have chased away all of her boyfriends."

Ai-sensei, who is shorter than Haruko, still looks down her nose at Haruko.  "Haruko, what have I said about boyfriends?"

"I was just being polite!"

"Miss Daria, please make sure that Haruko makes it to class on time."

"I'll do my best."

"Now Daria, how did the box step go?"


"Fifteen what?"

"Times I fell down doing it."

Ai-sensei laughs.  "It's not how many times you fall down, it's how many times you get back up."

"If you say so."

"I'll send you a video this weekend on how to do it."


Daria sees Jane outside of Cyberia.

"Daria, I wish you had ridden with me and Trent."

"That's okay.  I've seen Trent's car."

"Yeah, it is a little on the sketchy side."

"Have you given up on the new hairstyle?"

Jane laughs.  "Trent said that I would look more rock and roll with my old hairstyle."

Daria looks down her nose at Jane.  "Didn't he really say that he was embarrassed by how cutesy the new hairstyle was?"

"He might have said something to that effect.  But I will still use it at school."

Jane and Daria enter Cyberia.  It is a rundown and grimy nightclub.  The lights are down very low to hide how badly maintained the place is.

Daria rolls her eyes.  "Class joint."

Jane scans the area.  "Well, I can see this is an all ages show.  Plenty of people from TFAS are here."

"Well, it's only a couple of blocks away from TFAS."

"Including ..."


"Your fan club."

Daria rolls her eyes at Natsuko and Minamo.  "You can call me Daria."

Minamo shakes her head.  "No, no.  Daria-senpai is Daria-senpai."

"Is this your first time here?"

"No, no.  Natsuko and I have been going to TFAS for a while.  We go to most of the all ages shows to practice dancing."

"Wow, are your parents rich?"

Minamo looks embarrassed.  "Somewhat.  But they were happy when we got accepted as idol trainees."

"I am kind of jealous.  If I bomb out as a trainee then I will have to go back to my old school."

Natsuko looks concerned.  "Daria-senpai, if you ever need help, we're here for you.  Let's do our best!"

"Okay."  Daria sounds skeptical.

Minamo hands Daria and Jane some cardboard glasses.  "Check these out, there are hidden pictures on the wall that you need these glasses to see."

Jane and Daria try them on.

Jane smiles.  "Cool."

"They don't quite work if you already wear glasses."  Daria hands her pair back.

Jane bows.  "May I keep these for a while?"



Trent's band takes the stage.

"Hello, we are Mystik Spiral Kakko Kari.  This is our first live outside of my parent's basement.  Please take care of us."

The kids applaud.

"This first song is dedicated to my sister who is also here tonight."  Trent points to Jane who waves.

Trent starts singing a song about a sister with really bad rhymes and really poorly thought out lyrics.

The kids applaud enthusiastically.

Daria rolls her eyes.


Jane meets Daria at their lockers at school.  "What's up?"

"Just my own physical incompetence."

"Aren't you getting good instruction?"

"Didn't I forward you the email I got yesterday from my dance instructor?"

Jane laughs.  "That was so funny!  It was a video of a cockroach."

"She later sent me the real video.  What a weirdo!"

"I envy you.  None of my art teachers are like that."

A strange boy approaches.  "Excuse me?"

"Can we help you?"

The boy stares at Jane.  "Are you Lane from the wired?"

Jane looks perplexed.  "The wired?"

"That's the name of the school web site.  They had a picture up of this super cool girl who was at Cyberia this weekend, and you kind of look like her."  The boy pulls out his cell phone and shows Daria and Jane a picture of Jane at Cyberia wearing the cardboard glasses with her hair down.

"If I told you that was me I would have to kill you."

"So cool!!"  The boy runs away.

"Are you going to keep your hair up?"



Assignment 1:

Subject: Nomaru Minamo -  She is a very polite and conscientious girl.  She looks out for her friends and is always looking for ways to help.  She dances very stylishly and is not afraid to go to grimy clubs with her friends.

Note from Enchi-sensei:  You didn't make fun of her chin!

To Be Continued

(1) Kouhai means underclassman.  Nichijo is pointing out that Quinn acts cheeky for someone younger than Nichijo.

(2) Horrible pun time again!  Nichijo writes on the blackboard the kanji  雨 日女 (Ame Nichijo) Which means "Rain, Sunny Girl".  However,  日常 is also pronounced Nichijo and means "ordinary".

(3) Manzai comedy typically involves a straight man (tsukkomi) reacting to the misunderstandings and puns of the funny man (boke).

(4) Kira-kira names (names pronounced differently than their kanji) are a fad in Japan.

(5) Senpai means upperclassman.  Here, Natsuko and Minamo are using it to fan girl Daria.

(6) Sensei means teacher.  All students will address all their teachers with this honorific.

(7) Sachiko, Ai, and Risa are not TFAS teachers.  They have an arrangement with the school where they can come in and teach Harmony Project trainees once or twice a week.  At night they train the debuted idols at the Harmony Project building.

Offline resop2

  • ecchi
  • Member+
  • Posts: 885
Re: An Annoying Paradise - Daria ch 3 - Aim for the Lace!
« Reply #3 on: November 24, 2017, 03:07:20 AM »

Quinn's transition to the new school has not been an easy one.  And now the fashion design guild wants her to design a dress for the guild week show and she not allowed to accessorize it.  No-oooooh!  This is too cruel.  It's An Annoying Paradise - Daria Chapter three: Aim for the Lace!, it's a complete turnover story.

(end promo)

An Annoying Paradise - Daria -- part 3 - Aim for the Lace!

Jane looks at Daria.  "Something is wrong."

"Is my posture off?"

Jane crosses her arms and then points down the hall of TFAS from their lockers.  "Don't you see?"

"I see Quinn."

"But, what do you not see?"

"Oh, I get it, there isn't a crowd of boys pestering her."

"Bingo.  This calls for an intervention."

Jane and Daria walk over to Quinn who is putting stuff in her locker.  The line up on either side of her and slam their hands into the lockers around head level with Quinn.  (1)

Quinn looks up startled.  "What's going on?"

"I think my Sister was replaced by a zombie.  I don't see any fan boys surrounding you."

Jane nods.  "And, you haven't made fun of my outfit in a week."

Quinn looks sad.  "I'm sorry.  I've been overwhelmed by the fashion design guild."

Jane smiles.  "So, they have weird ideas on accessorizing?"

"No-oooh, they only talk about how to build very plain things from scratch.   Whenever I look at one of their diagrams I automatically start accessorizing the piece in my head and I don't absorb how to make it."

"Talk to your guild leader.  I am sure they will know what to do."

"Okay.  But, the boy thing is harder.  No one approaches me."

Daria looks hard at Quinn.  "You're not wearing makeup.  That might be why."

"No, I am so overwhelmed that I no longer project cuteness from within.  Putting on makeup for me now would be like you putting on makeup."

"Hey!  I might eventually have to do that."

Jane comforts Daria.

Quinn sighs.

Jane raises an eyebrow.  "How are the other former fashion club members doing?"

"Stacy cries herself to sleep every night.  Sandi and Tiffany don't call me."

Daria nods.  "You know, maybe you need some female friends who could raise your spirits."

"Like who?"

Daria looks around.  "Oh, Natsuko!"

Natsuko comes running.

"That scary girl?"


"Natsuko, this is my sister Quinn.  She's having problems adjusting to the school.  Could you help her?"

Natsuko smiles radiantly.  "Leave it to me!"  Natsuko smiles and raises her eyebrows trying to look cool.

"I guess it's okay."

"Meet me at lunch at the cafeteria."


Natsuko and Quinn sit down at a table with their bentos (2).

Quinn sighs.  This school is just so strange to me.

Natsuko nods.  "How was it like in your previous school?"

Quinn smiles and looks nostalgic.  "Me and my three friends used to run the entire school.  Whenever I turned around there would be a crowd of boys there waiting to grant my every request.  We would dress like princesses and break hearts like movie stars."

"So, you take after your sister?"

Quinn almost spits out her food.  "Puuuuuu-lease!  My sister and her friend were outcasts in our previous school.  They didn't have a single friend."

"Oh, come on."

"It's true.  The only reason that they took Daria instead of me was that Daria wouldn't have to give up a full schedule of dating boys."

Natsuko thinks about this for a while.  "So, you're disappointed that you came to this school and no one wants to date you even though you can date?"

"At this rate I should have been an idol trainee."

"Well, I would like to say something encouraging, but ..."

"But what?"

"This school isn't really a good place to find a date, especially if you're a girl looking for a boy."


"Look around the cafeteria.  Who looks good?"

"That table over there looks promising, however I would need to check to see if their cars were up to standard."

"Those are trainees from Jeneral Entertainment. (3)  They are not allowed to date girls and,"  Natsuko leans over and whispers, "they probably don't want to either."

"Oh, no!  They're like the boys in my fashion design class?  This is a tragedy."

"Me and my friend Minamo do stuff together all the time.  We don't find it that tragic."

"Such a bitter pill to take.  My life is over."

"Maybe you could come out with us some time?"

"Natsuko, it wouldn't be the same.  It is the height of pleasure in being a girl to order a guy around and have him spend money on you.  I couldn't ask you guys to do that and it would feel weird if I did."

"Are you poor?"

"No, the joy is getting money that you don't need."

"We can't help you with that, but the offer is still open."



Quinn gets up to leave at the end of the Fashion Design guild meeting.

"Miss Asamura?  We need to have a talk."

Quinn looks down in despair.  Even though Risaki was only a couple years ahead of her in school, she would have the power to suggest to the faculty supervisors that Quinn wasn't working out.

"I hear that you are having problems with dress design."

"Yes.  It's true.  I cannot stand to see a plain dress so I have to draw cute accessories for it."

Risaki thinks about this for a minute.  "Let's do a little game.  I want you to draw me a dress in the Betsy Johnson style, only I want you to first draw the accessories first."  Risaki gets a piece of plastic and some colored markers to use.  "Go."

Quinn nods and gets to work.  Ten minutes later, "Taa daa!"

"Wow.  You drew a dozen different accessories."

"Well, maybe they need to be edited down."

"Don't worry."  Risaki gets another sheet of plastic and places it over the first.  "Now draw the dress.  You don't have to draw over the accessories."

After another ten minutes.  "How is this?"

"Great!"  Risaki takes away the bottom sheet of plastic.  "Now, connect the lines.  We'll then put the first sheet over it and it should look the same."

Quinn looks at the second sheet of plastic and the sheet starts becoming larger and smaller as if she is having a hallucinogenic experience.  "I'm scared."

Risaki puts the second sheet over the first.  "They're still here."

"Okay."  Twenty minutes later, after painstakingly putting the first sheet of paper over the second after every single small line is drawn on the second, Quinn finishes.  "Here."

Risaki puts aside the sheet with the accessories.  "Great!  I think you have talent, Quinn-chan." (4)

"But, that was so scary!"

"But, you got through it.  We're having our first show in a five days.  Stacy has already designed something appropriate.  I want you to show as well."

"But, show what?"

"Starting tomorrow, you will be creating the dress that you just drew.  The accessories are not needed."

Quinn stares ahead in horror.  "Will I ever get to show my skill in accessorizing?"

"Quinn-chan, in advanced dress making you will learn about adornment, where you can customize your dress with things built directly on the dress, like different fabrics and custom dress parts."

Quinn rolls her eyes.  "Well then, I guess I will aim for the lace!" (5)

Risaki face plants, then smacks Quinn in the head with a sheet of plastic.  "Baka!"


Daria sees Minamo walking in the hall.  "Oh, Minamo?"


"Umm, do you know a seventh grade girl who goes here, Haruko?"

Minamo looks like she just ate something unpleasant.  "Tall?  Acts ditsy all the time?"


"Stay away from her at all costs."

"I can't, we take lessons together.  We're both remedial."

"She's big trouble.  She ditches class, she dates boys, she goes to clubs on nights when they are not all-ages, and ..." Minamo whispers, "... she even uses slang."

"Wait, how does she get into those clubs?"

"There are many clubs in the area who are really sleazy.  They think nothing of a twelve year old girl drinking alcohol."

"That's horrible."

"Don't let her corrupt you Daria-sama."  (6)

"Umm, just Daria is fine.  Don't worry.  If I want to get in trouble I already have Jane."

Minamo smiles.  "That's a relief."

"So, why is she still a remedial?"

"She never tries.  She never practices and she never does homework.  I am amazed that she hasn't been kicked out if school or the Hamony Project trainee program yet."

"Well, I will tread carefully around her then."



Stacy and Quinn sit next to each other in the fashion design guild class.

"So, Quinn, what do you think of my design?"

Quinn looks at it for a second and turns away violently.

"Oh, no!!  Quinn, was it really that bad?  You can lie to me if you need to."

Quinn tries to regain her composure.  "Stacy, your design is fine.  It's just that I have a problem looking at things that aren't accessorized."

"Well, maybe you could come up with a better lie than that."

"But, it's not a lie.  Here is my dress design.  I had to draw accessories first on a transparency to get through the drawing."

Stacy looks at the drawing.  "This is so cool!  I wish I could design like you."

"No, Stacy, you must not think that way.  Your design is fine.  The world doesn't need two Quinn's but it does need a Stacy."

Stacy starts crying.  "Quinn, this is the happiest day of my life!"



Daria gingerly walks out of Ai-sensei's dance class.

"Wait up!"  Haruko runs up behind her.  "What are you doing tonight?"

"Probably a lot of limping.  Those mamba steps did a number on me."

"Strange, I didn't have a problem."

"But, you weren't doing it correctly."

"What, are you a smarty-pants, or sumting?"

"No, but I noticed that whenever Ai-sensei looked in your direction she had a stink face.  If you were doing things correctly she would have cried tears of happiness."

Haruko sticks her tongue out.  "So, what else besides limping?"

"I will being going to my friend Jane's house.  She's been unofficially coaching me.  I need to give her all of my homework from our real coaches so she can bully me into doing them.  Then we will probably watch Hen Kanashii Sekai. (7)"


"Oh, what are you doing that is so exciting?"

"Clubbing.  I know of a great club.  There are a lot of big wigs from the entertainment industry that go there.  Harmony Project doesn't recognize my talent.  I am a miracle girl.  There's no way that I won't be a huge star. I'm sure that if I network enough I will find a producer who can use me if T doesn't wanna.  You should come."

"Haruko, I'm just an eight grade girl.  I know nothing of the entertainment world.  I don't even want to be a performer.  I want to be a writer.  I don't have any ambition at all compared to you.  But, even I know that clubbing would be a horrible idea.  A producer who hangs out at bars that serves alcohol to kids is not a producer who is going to make you into a star."

"You're right, you know nothing."  Haruko, slightly upset runs away.


Risaki pulls Stacy and Quinn aside.  "Okay guys, your designs are approved, and you have the materials and the equipment needed to make the dresses.  If you like, we can get some of the girls in the modeling guild to be your pin up dummies."

Stacy starts imagining Tifany asking her every thirty seconds if the dress made her look fat.

Quinn starts imagining Sandi insinuating that it was very bold of her to go with so outdated a design.

"I think we can find regular people to do it."

Risaki nods.  "Well, if you change your mind, just call me."


"They were ready for a good night sleep, but boy were they were disappointed!  It was the futons that flew away, next on Hen Kanashii Sekai. {8}"

Jane turns off the TV.  "Well, young disciple, I am afraid that you will be doing your practice solo the next couple of days.  I need to paint something for my class."

"That's okay.  I think I might be over the period where you have to catch me to prevent me from falling over every thirty seconds."

"They grow up so quickly."

"At least I won't be a burden to you."

"In three days I will be so bored I will be crawling to your place."

"We'll see."


"Oh, Natsuko?"  Quinn catches up to Natsuko in the hall.  "Do you have a second?"


"Um, I was wondering if you were free tonight?"

"I think so."

"Well, I am making a dress and I need a pin up dummy.  I know this is a horrible imposition but it would mean a lot."

"Where would we be doing it?"

"My place."

The place where Daria-senpai lives??  Natsuko has to hold back a nose bleed.  "Of course!"

"However, please don't be upset if I don't look at you a lot."

"No big deal, I get that a lot."

Quinn face plants.  "No, I meant that I don't like looking at dresses without accessories."


Jane sits at her usual table during lunch.  A tall girl approaches her.

"Excuse me, are you Jane Lane?"

"Why yes I am.  Are you the girl who the modeling guild sent over?"

"Yes, my name is Rikoko."

"I haven't seen you before at school."

"I'm on the first floor."

Jane does a double take.  "Wait, you're in elementary school?"

"Six grade."  Rikoko makes a peace sign.

"Well, that doesn't matter much.  I just need you to sit for a painting."

"Okay.  Do you have glasses I can wear to pose in?"

Jane looks shocked.  "Hey, by any chance could you also be a Harmony Project trainee?"

"An official one!"

"Do you know my friend Daria?"

"Daria-senpai is so cool!'

"This could get interesting."


Daria practices dance steps and exercises in her room.

"Daria, are you in there?"

Daria opens her door.  "Quinn, no dates tonight?"

"Ha, ha, ha.  Very funny."  Quinn throws a one piece swimsuit at her sister.  "Put this on and come to my room."  Quinn walks away.

This is too weird to pass up.  Daria changes and comes to Quinn's room.  It looks like a disaster area.


Daria sees Natsuko who also in a one piece swimsuit.  Quinn has placed fabric over some of the swimsuit and she is sewing the fabric together.  "Stacy needs a model."

Daria sees Stacy in the corner.  "I have to warn you, I did this once before for a bridesmaid dress and the dress maker complained the whole time that I had no figure."

Stacy chuckles.  "Daria-senpai, that was before your idol training.  You look just fine now."

"I do??"  Daria looks in the mirror.  Wow, I will have to thank Risa-sensei.  "Well, let's get this over with then."

"Hopefully I won't stick you."

"If you do I will cast a magic spell on you to make you unfashionable."

Quinn raises an eyebrow.  "Daria!  Don't cast magic spells on my friends!"

"Okay."  Daria sees that Stacy has gone from shivering in fear to an expression of relief.  She also catches in a mirror that Natsuko is staring at her non-stop.


Sandi and Tiffany sit backstage in a badly lit dressing room.

Risaki walks in with Quinn and Stacy, each holding a dress.  "Good afternoon models.  These are the dresses you will be walking in.  Please put them on and then I will instruct Quinn and Stacy how to adjust them.

Sandi makes a stink face.  "Adjust them?  I don't understand why all dresses are not made with me in mind."

Sandi and Tiffany put on their dresses behind a folding screen then come out.

Tiffany looks in the mirror.  "Does this dress make me look fat?"

Sandi rolls her eyes.  "Quinn, I think it was very brave of you to go with so outdated a design."

Quinn and Stacy shudder.


Daria and Jane walk along the painting exhibit.

"And, this one is by me."

Daria stares long and hard at the painting.  "What is it?"

Jane face plants.  "It's a girl."

"Is this expressionism?"

"This is Dada-ism."

"Is that another way of saying that you got frustrated?"

Jane blushes.  "Well, yeah.  But, the guild accepted it.  I guess I will have to work harder since they won't buy that excuse twice in a row."

"So, was your model not good enough to work with?"

"No, she was too good.  Completely professional in every respect and with no bad angles.  It ate at my self esteem.  And, she was only in sixth grade."


"Did I mention she was a member of your fan club?"

"Wait, won't your parents pay for your tuition even if you're not in a guild?"

"It's a matter of principle for me."

Daria looks the clock on the wall.  "Oh, we better hurry, the Fashion Guild is going to have their outfits walked soon."

"Joy, joy."


"Ladies and gentlemen, the Fashion Guild and the Modeling Guild is pleased to present the guild week fashion show."

Applause.  Then loud trendy music starts playing.

"First up, basic dress design.  Walking first is Sandi, walking in a dress designed by Quinn."

Sandi, looking bored and angry at the world walks up and down the catwalk.

"Next up, Tiffany, walking in a dress designed by Stacy."

Tiffany, looking self conscious and nervous walks up and down the catwalk.

Daria nudges Jane.  "I don't know anything about fashion shows, but didn't that look a little off?"

"Oh yes."


Jane and Daria walk into a ramen shop a block from campus.

"Daria-senpai!"  Natsuko and Minamo run over to them.

Daria, though tired, tries to smile.  "Thanks for inviting us to the wrap party."

Minamo blushes.  "Actually, it was an indirect invite.  Rikoko wanted us to come."

Daria and Jane are lead over to a table where Rikoko and an older girl sit with a lap top.

"Guys!  I am so happy you could make it."

Daria smiles.  "No problem.  Oh, do you want to, you know?"

"Of course!"

Daria lends Rikoko her glasses and Natsuko, Minamo, and the older girl take pictures while Rikoko goes through a bunch of poses.  Daria, however is oblivious to this.

"Here are your glasses back."


"Oh, this is Haruno-senpai.  We're waiting for the footage of the fashion show to download from the wired.  Do you want to watch it with us?"

Jane smiles.  "Sure, let us order first."


Jane and Daria slurp their ramen.  They are joined by Quinn and Stacy who look very worried.

Haruno smiles.  "Okay!  It's ready.  Gather round."

Jane watches the video.  "Haruno-senpai, I am not an expert at modeling, but I notice a huge difference between the walks if Sandi and Tiffany and the walk of Rikoko."

Haruno makes a face.  "Well, I was thinking of letting those two go.  After the show they left in a snit.  Sandi even complained that her dress was out of date and Tiffany complained that her dress made her look fat.  I have never heard such talk from models before."


"Yes, miss Quinn?"

"I would rather you not can them."


"Looking at the footage, Sandi has a point.  The design is outdated.  But, now I will work harder to improve."

Stacy nods.  "And, my dress did make her look fat."

Haruno rolls her eyes.  "Baka!  Tiffany hasn't been doing her stomach exercises.  A real model keeps her core tight during her walk."

"All the same, I think I can improve things so that even someone without abs of steel will look good."

Haruno nods.  "Very well, but if I get complaints from other designers, they're history."

Daria nudges Rikoko.  "So what did you think of the painting?"

Rikoko starts headbanging.  "It was metal!"

"You didn't mind it looked nothing like you?"

"That's what pictures are for."


Assignment 2:

Subject: Asumura Quinn: She is nauseatingly perfect in appearance in every way.  In a normal school she would be Miss Popularity, but at this school she doesn't stand out.  But, behind the bouncy hair, perfect complexion and stylish clothes lies actual substance that will occasionally appear when it is not being vigorously suppressed.  I hate her, but admire her sometimes as well.

Note from Enchi-sensei: Don't forget to mention her figure!

To Be Continued

(1) This actually has a name in Japanese: "Kabedon" (wall slam).

(2) A bento is a boxed lunch.

(3) I guess when it was pointed out that their name was misspelled they just simply went with it.

(4) Calling Quinn "Quinn-chan" is slightly talking down to her.

(5) Quinn is making a horrible pun on the manga/anime "Aim for the Ace!" a tennis drama.

(6) The -sama suffix is Minamo trying to be as respectful to Daria as she can.

(7) "Hen Kanashii Sekai" means "Weird Sad World."

{8} Like the show "Sick Sad World" on Daria, the show Hen Kanashii Sekai relies on promos consisting of very lame (old man) puns.  Here the phrase "the futons that flew away" is pronounced "futon ga futton da".

« Last Edit: February 23, 2018, 10:13:54 PM by resop2 »

Offline resop2

  • ecchi
  • Member+
  • Posts: 885
An Annoying Paradise - Daria ch 4 - WataMote
« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2018, 01:40:30 AM »

Daria gets a new senpai, Jane gets a new boyfriend, Sandi gets a new gig, and somebody gets fired!  It's An Annoying Paradise - Daria Chapter four: Watamote, it's a complete turnover story.

(end promo)

An Annoying Paradise - Daria -- part 4 - Watamote (1)

Daria walks into the music room expecting to see Sachiko-sensei but sees a different woman instead.

"Asamura Daria?"

"That's me."

"Hi.  My name is Megumi.  I work for Harmony Project."

"Am I fired?"

"Why would you think that?  Sachiko, Risa, and Ai all have high praise for you."

"They do?  They must have really low standards."

Megumi laughs.  "Actually, I came because I have to debrief you."

"You can't have my underwear."

Megumi laughs again.  "Daria, there was someone who was fired."

"Was it Ai-sensei for sending weird videos?"

"You got one of those?  Those are great, aren't they?"

"Maybe in retrospect.  Not when I got them."

"No, Ai is fine.  But we kicked Haruko out."

"I would like to say I am surprised, but I am not."

"Paparazzi pictures surfaced of her drinking at a club.  We can't risk being associated with her."

Daria smirks.  "If you had some huge role for her, would you have bought the pictures to cover the situation up?"

Megumi turns serious.  "Daria, Harmony Project is a business and we are here to make money first, and girls' dreams come true second.  Yes, we would have paid off Friday magazine (2), but we have no such plans for her."

"So, why do I need to be debriefed?"

Megumi starts talking in a spooky voice.  "Daria, teen idols are the angels of Japan.  However, it is possible for an angel to fall from grace.  There are people out there who prey on fallen idols.  Some say they can smell a fallen idol.  Since you know Haruko, I am worried that the problems coming her way might rub off on you."

"We never really hung out."

"Good.  One more thing.  Did you like Haruko?"

"I admired her a little bit for her self confidence even though she had no ability."

"Daria, sometimes a fallen idol can get into huge problems.  Some times these problems are so bad that if the fallen idol has no one that cares for them at all, they will be totally lost."

"This is starting to sound like a magical girl manga. (3)"

"The question is, would you be willing to risk it all to save Haruko if she gets in trouble?"

This question stumps Daria.

"Well, hopefully we won't have to revisit this question seriously."

"Am I on hidden camera?"

"Always assume that you are."


Sandi walks into one of the art workshop rooms.  "Hello.  I was asked to do a modeling job.  Is this the right place?"

Three boys who were discussing a manga around a table look up.  One of the boys responds.  "We did.  We are looking for someone who can be the lead character in our manga.  Can you do 'tsundere'?" (4)

Sandi makes a disgusted face.  "Tsundere?  You losers must be really brave to do a manga on so outdated a character type.  I am an existentially bored princess type."

The three boys nod in agreement.  "You're perfect!"

"Whatever.  I need to do this assignment to stay in the modeling guild.  What do you want me to do?"

One of the boys sets up a video camera.  "We need to capture your expressions so that we can infuse them into our character."  The boy turns the camera on.  "Each of us will make a lame confession to you and you will just say the first thing that comes into your head."

Sandi looks down her nose.  "If this is some lame scheme for you geeks to get to talk to a beautiful girl like me, know that I will file a complaint."

The boy setting up the camera gets up.  "Perfect!  Now, I will go first.  My name is Kuro Junichi. (5) What's your name before we start?"

"Biumi Sandi." (6)

"Great."  Junichi gets into character. "You know, Sandi, I have been admiring you from afar for some time now.  I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend?"

"What sort of a car do you have?"

"Car?  I take the subway to get to this school like everyone else."

"Surely you must be kidding?  Do you think a glamorous princess like myself would stand for riding on a subway on a date?  As if!"

Another member of the manga guild gets up after preparing a second camera.  "I will go next.  I am Kasshoku Jirou." (7)


"So Sandi, do you think that you are cool enough to go out with a guy like me?"

"Obviously not.  I will never be able to be cool enough to wear a Bleach T-shirt. {8}  That's been out of fashion for years."

The third boy, after setting up a third camera, gets up.  "My turn.  I am Kiiro Jurou." (9)


"Um, Sandi, I was wondering if you would accept my confession letter?"  Jurou mimes holding an envelope in front of him while bowing.

"I don't accept confession letters that have been reused.  Don't think that I can't see that there was another name that was erased on the outside of the envelope.  Loser!"

The other two boys stare intently at the monitors of their cameras, then look up.

Junichi smiles.  "That was absolutely perfect.  You can go now."

"I thought you needed me to act like a tsundere."

Jirou nervously laughs.  "Oh, don't worry.  We're changing the project name to 'Existentially Bored Princess'."

Sandi smiles.  "A much better name."

Jurou nods.  "You can go now."

"Yeah, I need to be in a geek free zone."


Daria and Jane place their bowls of ramen down on a table in the ramen shop close to the school, the same ramen shop that the guild week post party was in.

"Thanks for meeting me on such short notice."

Jane smiles.  "Hey, I was getting worn down from all the guild work."  Jane breaks her chopsticks and starts slurping her noodles and noisily slurps in between replies. (10)

"I just don't know what to think.  Somehow, I think that it's my fault that Haruko got canned."

"And, why pray tell is that?"

"People like Natsuko and Minamo have never had a bad word to say to me, but I was always negative towards Haruko."

"Natsuko and Minamo are in your fan club."

"Even so, maybe I shouldn't have been so hard on Haruko?"

"Now, which Haruko are we talking about?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are we talking about the Haruko who refused to do any homework or practice for six months before you got here, or are we talking about some other Haruko who somehow would have turned her whole life around on one nice word from you?"

"Somehow I think those two are the same person."

"Their not.  No matter how I look at it, she is the reason why she got kicked out of Harmony Project."

"Even so, I wish I had one hundredth of her self confidence."

"Daria, Daria.  Do you remember ten minutes ago when we got in line for our noodles?"


"And when someone got behind us in line, didn't it make you feel better?"

"I guess."

"That's it!  While Haruko was in Harmony Project there was at least one girl you could feel ahead of."

Daria nods and slurps her noodles.

"Come on, I am sure there will be other people you can feel superior to."

"I wonder then if I should go tomorrow?"

"Go where?"

"Natsuko and Minamo want me to go to Cyberia all ages night with them."

"I should go as well."

"You don't have to."

"I was put on this earth to cause trouble.  There's only so much trouble I can cause from my room."


Quinn looks through a book of basic dress designs while putting stick-on accessories on the dresses.  Suddenly her phone rings.  "Oh, hi Sandi!  I haven't heard from you in a while."

"Well, I have decided to forgive you for that outdated dress design."

Quinn rolls her eyes.  "Well, don't worry, it won't happen again.  And, if it does, I will ask for a different model."

"That might be just as well.  I am now a famous manga model."

"Really?  How fashionable."

"Three geeky guys wanted me to pose for them."

Quinn raises an eyebrow.  "Did all of their first names start with 'J'"?

"How did you know?"

"I have them in my history class."

"I am sure they were all talking about what a great model I was."

"Actually, they were."

"And, how beautiful and nice I was."

Quinn gulps.  "Well, you did make a strong impression."

"Of course, they even changed the name of their project in my honor."

"They did?"

"Yes, it is now 'Existentially Bored Princess'.  Named after me."

"Well then I will have to talk to them, um, to see how their progress is going."

"Prepared to be blown away."

"That just might happen."



Daria and Jane barely have time for their eyes to adjust to the dim lights of Cyberia before they are set upon by Minamo and Natsuko.

"You could try calling me Daria in the club."

Minamo shakes her head.  "Anyway, I want you to know that me and Natsuko are one hundred percent behind you in this Haruko situation."

"Did you guys ever try to support her?"

Natsuko frowns.  "Of course we did, but it was like talking to a brick wall."

"Well, at least someone tried to encourage her, instead of being blunt."

Minamo smiles.  "Maybe you did the best thing for her being blunt.  Support didn't work."

Daria half smiles.  "I guess."

"Anyway, we want you to meet our friend.  She is also intermediate.  There is a four person dance that we want to try and we need a fourth person."

"Won't I screw things up?"

"It's not hard.  Come on, give it a try!"

Daria looks at Jane.

"Go ahead, Missy, have fun."

Daria is led by Minamo and Natsuko to a third girl, who is shorter and a lot prettier than the other girls.

"Daria, this is Chisako." (11)

"Please take care of me."

"Daria is remedial."

Chisako smiles.  "Don't worry about it Daria, I was remedial for a couple of months.  But, I got the hang of it somehow."

"Um, sorry for asking this, but is that your real name?"

"Yes, it is."

"Are your parents tall?"

"Yes!  They were the tallest couple in their high school!"

Daria face plants.

"So, have you danced with a group yet?"


"No problem.  We will walk you through it."

Jane watches from a distance with a bemused look.

"Excuse me?"

Jane turns around to see a pretty boy.  "Can I help you?"

"Are you an idol?"

"Sorry to disappoint you, but no.  If you're looking for idols, some trainees are over there."

"Actually, I am not disappointed.  I am not allowed to talk to girl idols."

"Why is that?  Do they have a protection order against you?"

"No, Josephine would kill me."

"Josephine?  Is that your mother?"

The boy laughs.  "No, he is the head manager at Jeneral Entertainment.  And, yes, that means that I am a 'Jenny Boy'."

"So, why is a big star like you talking to me?"

"I am still a trainee.  But Josephine has told me that I am on the fast track and I will soon be put into a group."

"So, why talk to me?"

"Well,"  the boy blushes, "at Jeneral Entertainment, we are allowed to have all of the cheap affairs we want so long as the girl looks trashy."

"I'll have you know that this look is actually quite fashionable."

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean it that way.  But, we are not allowed to be seen with girl idols or go steady with girls of substance."

"Girls of substance?"

"Girls who look like they are doing the idol a favor by going out with them.  It would be a turn off to the fan base."

Jane rolls her eyes.  "Of course."

"But, so long as we keep it a secret, we are allowed to go steady.  But, I would have to clear you with Josephine."

"But, why wouldn't I go out with him then?"

"He already has a guy."

"I see.  So, if we are going to be going steady, maybe I should know your name?"

"Tomuru.  But my friends call me Tomu."

"I'm Jane Lane."

"Oh, yeah.  Lane from the wired.  Do you go to TFAS?"

"Yes I do."

"I haven't seen you around."

"I'm in the fine arts guild.  I also wear my hair up at school."

Tom looks at Jane for a minute.  "Oh, I have seen you."

"The big question is, is Jane from school a dream of Lane from the Wired or is Lane from the Wired a dream of Jane from TFAS?"

"Good question.  So, do you want to get some ramen and discuss it?"

"Twist my arm, you silver tongued devil.  But, I should tell my friend Daria."  Jane points to Daria who as if on cue falls over trying to keep up with her friends.

"Is she an idol?"

"She's a remedial idol trainee."

"She's so lucky!  I was like that once as well, but I had great senpai's who looked after me and didn't let me get discouraged.  Are those girls her senpai's?"

"Yes, but a couple of them don't act like it since they are younger."

"Confusing, isn't it?  But, she has your phone number, right?"

"Of course."

"You could send her a text message so you don't disturb her practice."

"Good idea."


"I'm never going to get this!"  Daria pouts.

Chisako tries to comfort Daria.  "Now, now.  It's not like we are experts.  We're just intermediate.  We're probably throwing you off with our own bad dancing."

"Throwing me off enough to fall down?"

Chisako smiles.  "Wait right here, a friend of mine just got here."  Chisako runs off.

Natusko and Minamo look dejected.

Minamo looks down.  "I feel like a failure."

"Minamo, no one is paying you to teach me.  They're not going to demand their money back or something."

"But, I wanted to dance with you."

Chisako returns with another girl.  This girl has chubby cheeks and long black hair.  "Daria!  This is Manako."

"Daria smiles.  Oh, we're in math class together."

"Manako is an official trainee and she is a member of the interpretive dance guild.  Manako, Daria is a remedial trainee."

Manako looks guilty, then bows low in contrition.  "Sorry!  You must think that I am a rotten senpai."

"It's okay."

"Chisako was telling me that they were trying to teach you the four person dance we did in practice on Wednesday."

"Wait, intermediates and officials practice together?"

"Yes, we'll all have to get in sync if we want to stand on stage together."

"Makes sense."

"So, line up behind me and do what I do."

Daria complies and stands behind Manako who stands in front of a wall that is partially mirrored.

"Okay, let's go!"

Daria makes it halfway through the dance before falling.

Manako helps her up.  "You have no idea how close you were to nailing it.  When you did the samba part you lost a beat and got foot work reversed.  Let's do it again and I'll count slower."

Close to halfway through the dance Manako stops.  "Right there!  You have to switch twice.  It's a little tough, but I know you can do it."

They do the dance again and Daria finishes it.

"Wonderful.  Now, you three with her."

The four girls complete the dance without a catastrophe.

Manako puts her hand on Daria's shoulder.  "Dar-chan, you made past the first step.  However, dancing is not just being in sync with the count, it's being in sync with your partners.  Now you will need to concentrate hard when you go to practice to make sure that your partners are doing the same things as you.  In this case, you should scold them for falling behind the beat."


"Oops, we are in the same class.  Sorry!"

Minamo frowns.  "Daria, please keep close track of Manako.  She is already known as a schemer who acts in a super cute way to hide her slacking off."

Manako pouts and sulks.

Daria notes that although Haruko used to pout when scolded by their mentors, Haruko would pout in a halfhearted way and Manako was at least putting effort into her pouting.  "But, Manako, I am just a remedial trainee.  I don't get to train with you guys yet."

"Oh, sorry, I forgot you were remedial.  You're nothing like that other girl."

"Is that why you were avoiding me in class?"

Manako looks sad.

"Hey, knowing Haruko, I understand why your wouldn't want to talk to me."

"Thanks, Daria.  Trying to help her was torture.  Let's be good friends."


Daria gets home and turns on the TV.

"They were demolition experts in charge of blowing holes in a wall, but they fell in love!  It's love of the gaps, next on Hen Kanashii Sekei!" (12)

Daria turns off the TV and calls Jane.  "So, how did the hot date go?"

"I bagged a Jenny Boy."


"A trainee at Jeneral Entertainment.  They produce teen boy idol acts, just like Harmony Project produces teen girl idol acts."

"Are they allowed to date?"

"So long as it's not with a girl idol and as long as they are discreet."

"So, you're his secret girl?"

"Cool, huh?"

Daria raises an eyebrow.


Assignment 6

Subject: Biumi Sandi - Sandi is the picture of the perfect Japanese girl without any of the skills or nobility behind the appearance.  In her previous school she lead a "mean girls" quartet and maintained control through an endless barrage of veiled insults.  If she didn't have the intelligence of a carrot she might be dangerous.

Note from Enchi-sensei: Don't forget about her obnoxious vocal mannerisms.

To Be Continued

(1) Watamote is short for the name of a Japanese anime called "WATAshi ga MOTEnai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui!".  Translated the title means "No matter how I look at it, It's you guys fault I'm not popular!"

(2) Friday Magazine in Japan is a tabloid magazine that has broken in the past many stories that were troublesome for idols, include publishing pictures of them with boyfriends.

(3) Manga's are comic books.  There is a whole genre of manga with the lead character being a young girl with magical powers who can usually transform into a more power form as needed.

(4) Tsundere is a character type, usually a girl, who physically or verbally assaults other characters because she is not good at saying that she likes them.

(5) Kuro Junichi means "black obedient one".  The manga guild members are supposed to correspond to Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie from the Daria show so Junichi would correspond to Joey since Joey had black hair.

(6) Biumi sort of means Beauty Sea but is probably not a real Japanese name.  It might be an alias that Sandi uses to make herself look cooler.

(7) Kasshoku Jirou means "brown second son".  He corresponds to Jeffey since Jeffey has brown hair.

{8} Bleach is a very long running popular anime/manga about death guardians.

(9) Kiiro Jurou means "yellow tenth son".  He corresponds to Jamie since Jamie has blonde hair.

(10) In Japan it is considered normal to noisily slurp your ramen noodles.

(11) Chisako could mean "small small", this is why Daria has a hard time accepting her name as real.

(12) "Suki da" is "it is love" and "sukima" is "gap" so the title is  "Sukima no suki da", another rancid middle aged man pun.

Offline resop2

  • ecchi
  • Member+
  • Posts: 885
Re: An Annoying Paradise - Daria ch 5 - Bleach
« Reply #5 on: February 23, 2018, 10:33:05 PM »
Daria is shocked from the news from a TV show, Jane is shocked by Tomu's boss, Manako shows Daria a shocking game, and Sandi is shocked by the manga.  Besides shock, there will also be bad puns.  It's An Annoying Paradise - Daria Chapter Five: Bleach.  It's a complete turnover story.

An Annoying Paradise - Daria -- part 5 - Bleach

Daria and Jane stand in front of their lockers.

Minamo runs up to them.  "Daria-senpai!  Big trouble!"

Daria raises an eyebrow.  "Oh?  Do you have a zit?"

"Much, much, much worse than that.  Didn't you see Good Moo-ning Japan (1) today?"

"I try to avoid that show."

"Oh my god.  I watch it every day.  One of the debuted girls is an extra on the show."

"So, what was on it?"

"You might want to sit down."

"We're in the hall."

"Oh, right.  Well, Haruko was on the show."


"It gets worse.  She was signed by Ajax."

"Wait, she's a cleaning lady now?"

Minamo face plants.  "Ajax is another idol company, a rival company to Harmony Project."

"Are Harmony Project and Ajax numbers one and two?"

Minamo blushes a little bit.  "Seven and eight.  But, it still gets worse."


"She was signed to be the lead voice actress of a new anime, Love Idol War."

"Well, good for her.  I'm glad to hear that someone sees something in her, even though I didn't."

"But, I haven't even told you the worst part yet."

"She sings on the anime?"

"That's kind of assumed.  But, they asked her who she considered her rival was and she said Asamura Daria."

"This has got to be a joke."

"No, it's not.  Natsuko saw it as well."

"She said her rival was someone who isn't even acknowledged by her own company?"

"Crazy, right?  Well, I have to get to class."  Minamo runs off.

Jane nods.  "Well, so much for anonymity."

Daria looks panicked.  "Tell me about it."


Manako approaches Daria after math class.  "So, did you hear the news?"

"Minamo gave me a report."

"Funny isn't it?"

"What's funny?"

"The comic!"  Manako pulls out her smart phone and shows Daria a four panel comic strip (2) from The Wired.

Daria giggles.

"It's called Tsundere Princess and it's by the manga guild.  I am glad you thought it was funny.  I showed it to Chisako and she gave me a vacant look and said she didn't get it."

"That's nice, but I thought you were talking about Ajax signing Haruko."

Manako makes a face.  "It just means that we have to try harder.  We, and you especially, can't lose to her."

"At what?  Underage drinking?"

"At popularity."

"I don't want to be popular."

"Yeah, yeah, the writer thing.  But, you'd be surprised about how many people ask me about you."

"That stinks."

"Anyway, I was wondering if you would like to come over to my house tonight.  There's a game I want to show you."

"Will I still be able to get married after this game?"

"It's not a hentai (3) game.  I promise.  And, if it is, you don't have to help me with math."

"As expected from the queen of 'azatoii'." (4)

Manako makes the peace sign.

"Well, normally I would be eating ramen with Jane, but she's been seeing a lot recently of a certain boy, so I suspect that tonight is okay."


Tomuru and Jane slurp ramen noodles at the ramen shop close to the school.

Suddenly a tall cross-dressed man sits next to them.  "Mind if join?"

Tomuru looks nervous.  "Um, Jane, this is Josephine."

"How do you do.  I've heard a lot about you."

"And, I've heard a lot about you.  So much so that I had to come see for myself if there was a girl even more perfect than myself."

Jane fidgets nervously.

"But, I can see now that Tomuru was correct.  However, Tomu-kun?"

"Yes?"  Tomuru looks down in a guilty way.

"How is this in any way, shape, or form discreet?"

"I guess it isn't."

"Well, please try harder.  I won't stand in between the two of you, but know that this girl could torpedo your career with a single Friday's picture."

Tomuru suddenly smiles.  "I know what to do.  You should hire Jane!"

Jane looks shocked.  "Now wait just a second here buddy-boy.  I have never been accused of being a bishounen.  (5)  And, I have no desire to be drooled over by a bunch of fan girls."

Tomuru laughs.  "Not as a boy idol, but as a cd cover designer."

Josephine smiles.  "That's not the worst suggestion I have heard this week.  Jane, Tomuru did show you me your paintings on The Wired."

"Why, thanks."

"But, I don't have much say in the design department."

Jane shrugs.  "Oh well."

"One more thing, Jane."


"Do you hang out with any girl idols?"

"Just with my friend Asamura Daria."

Josephine does a double take.  "That Asamura Daria?"

"Wow, word from the TV show travels fast."

"What TV show?  T and myself are childhood friends and we still get to get together for drinks every other week.  T praises Daria to the skies and thinks she will be Harmony Project's biggest star."

Jane smirks.  "I keep telling her that and she doesn't believe it."

"Well, it's best that Daria stays a long way away from Tomuru, just in case."


Manako shows Daria her home gaming system and microphones.  "Here it is, your new best friend."

"Jane will be disappointed."

"Well, not literally.  The game is called Superstar Singing."

"That rules me out."

"Give yourself a chance for once, it's fun.  Watch me."

Daria watches as Manako sings "Sakura Night Fever". (6)

"... Halloween, Valentine's, Hina Matsuri ..."

Daria points at the screen.  "What are those weird lines?"

Manako pauses the game and points at the lines on the screen.  "These lines give you an idea of pitch and duration.  Watch this."  Manako resumes the game and deliberately goes off pitch and off duration in her singing. A second colored line which up to this point had been drawing over the initial lines diverges and starts going up and down.

Daria's jaw drops.  "Whoa.  I though that the colored line covered the first line automatically.  Were you getting a perfect score?"

"Well, it is easy mode."

"No way I can do this."

"Hey, math is hard for me as well, but I will ask for your help."

"Well, maybe."

That's the spirit.  "Give it a try."

Daria tries to sing the song but gives up halfway through, unable to match the pitch or the phrasing.  "I told you I would stink at this."

"That was your first try.  Let's try it again in free style mode.  The lines will not grade you and you can try to match your pitch to mine."


They make it through without a mishap.

"Dar-dar, you wouldn't believe how many girls who are idols are tone deaf."

"After hearing Haruko in practice, yes, I would!"

"But, you're not one of them.  If you can match my pitch then with a little bit of work you can match the pitch of the song.  Try it again."

Daria makes it through to the end of the song, scoring around 30%.  The machine gives her a rank of amateur.

"There, that's a start."

"But, this is easy mode."

"A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.  You have at least made the first step."

"What if I don't want to make the next step?"

"Do you have this console at home?"


Manako hands her a game and a microphone.  "Here.  These are spares.  Pick a song and practice tonight until you can get through it."

Daria looks at the game in horror.


Quinn works away at a dress design in her room, using the same two transparent sheet trick that Risaki had shown her.

The phone rings.

"Hello Sandi.  How are you?"

"I have never been worse!  Didn't you see the manga?"

"I did.  It was so funny!"

"Did you see the title?  It was supposed to be 'Bored Existential Princess' not 'Tsundere Princess'.  I was mortified to be associated with a project with so lame a name."

"That?  I asked Junichi, Jirou, and Jurou about that.  They said that they changed the name back."

"I knew they only asked me to do the project because that was the only way they could talk to a pretty girl."

"Wait, I talked to them."

"Only about the project."

"That's true."

"But even worse, even worse, was the character design.  They used me as the character design for a character who was fat!"

"The character was just chubby."

"Are you implying that I am not fashionably thin?"

"Of course not."

"So, Quinn, you need to talk to your mother.  I need to sue the manga club for deflation of character."

"You mean defamation of character."

"Whatever.  Are you implying that my character hasn't be deflated?"

"Sandi, it's just a legal term.  I know this because I have gone to my mother many times for offenses against my purehearted girl nature that rivaled the insult of that manga.  And, in every case my Mother shot down the idea saying that it would be laughed out of court."

"But this case is serious!"

"I'm sorry Sandi, but the legal system is cruel and insensitive to fashionable girls like us.  I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Grrr!"  Sandi hangs up.


Daria and Jane stand around their lockers before class.

Manako walks up.  "Dar-dar!  Did you get through a song?"

"Oh, Manako.  This is my friend Jane Lane.  Jane this is Inabu Manako."

Manako looks at Jane closely.  Ame Nichijo?"

"I have been known to answer to that name."

"Don't you remember me?  We were in ballet class together."

"There are some episodes in my life I try to forget."

"Dar-dar, your friend is the best dancer of all time."


"I haven't done it in years."


Daria, Jane, and Manako turn around to see Haruko flanked by a shorter girl with an impressive figure.

"Asamura Daria, I told you I was going to be a star and I became one.  Beda!"  Haruko sticks out her tongue and pulls her eyelid down.

Daria smiles.  "You know Haruko, I think that you've changed.  I think that the sticking out of your tongue was the first thing I have ever seen you do that wasn't done in a halfhearted way."

Koharu looks furious.  "Let's go!"  Koharu and the other girl walk down the hall.

Manako looks shocked.  "Daria, that was savage.  True, but savage."

"Thanks, I guess."

"You should be a poisoned tongue idol."

Daria looks flustered.

Jane smiles.  "See?  There is something you can excel at."


Daria walks into the music room and sees Sachiko talking to a talk crossed-dressed man.  "Excuse me, are you Josephine by any chance?  Jane told me about you."

"Bingo!  You must be Miss Daria.  I can see that everything that T says about you is true."


"Oh, you're the type that doesn't take complements well?"

"I usually respond with a poisoned tongue comment."

"Wonderful.  I can see you going as far as T says you will."


Josephine laughs.  "You have no idea.  But, to get to the point, please, please, please stay away from Tomuru.  He is my ace and I need him not to have a scandal."

"I haven't even met him."

"Good!  Keep it that way, for his and my sake."



Daria sees Manako before class.  "Hey, I got 50% on The Usagi Dance." (7)

"I figured that you would pick that one.  Hey, one step at a time."

"I don't know why, but somehow I felt more motivated last night."

"I know why, Haruko has awakened the tiger inside you.  You now want to compete and show that you're not as lame as Haruko."


"Hey strange foreign exchange student who lives with Quinn?"

Daria and Manako turn around to see Sandi.

"Sandi, shouldn't there be a 'senpai' at the end of that?"

"Whatever.  You need to get your mother to sue the manga club for deflation of character."

Daria smirks.  "For Tsundere Princess?"


"You can't.  Since the character is heavier than you, you need to sue for inflation of character."

"Good point!"

"However, Quinn has much more pull than I do with mom since I am only a foreign exchange student who lives with Quinn."

"I'll get on her right away."

Sandi walks off.  As soon as Sandi gets out of earshot Manako starts laughing.  "Who was that idiot?"

"She's one of my sister Quinn's friends.  In out previous school they formed the self proclaimed fashion club."

Manako gets a sneaky look on her face.  "I might need to study her."

Daria looks disgusted.

"However, 50% is a cause for celebration.  Let's do ramen tonight!"

"Can Jane come?"

"I thought she had a guy."

"A Jenny boy, so she has to keep things hush hush."

"Of course she can come."


Jane, Daria, and Manako slurp noodles together.

Jane breaks the silence.  "You know Manako, I am not made of tissue paper.  You can talk about me without hurting my feelings."

"Okay, Nichi-chan."

"You snake!"

Daria clears her throat.  "Play nice now."

"Um, excuse me?  May I join you guys?"

Daria looks at the girl standing next to their booth and then stares at her chest.  "You're the girl who was with Haruko, right?"

"That's me.  I am Yuuki."

Daria motions for her to sit down.  "So, are you also an Ajax idol?"

"I am signed with the Ajax talent agency, but I am a voice actress.  I can sing if I need to, though."

"Well, I was worried that having an Ajax idol and a Harmony Project idol at the same table would cause a scandal."

Yuuki laughs.  "You won't get in trouble.  We're all girls.  No one cares about that."

"I was worried for Manako.  No one knows who I am."

"Thanks to Haruko, everyone knows who you are."

"I am trying to forget that."

"So, are you trying to following in the footsteps of Ikuda Alana?"

"Who is that?"

"Oh my god!  You've never heard of Harmony Project's biggest star?"

"Guess not."

"She's going to graduate from her group in two months.  It will be the first time any Harmony Project group has every headlined Budokan."

"What makes you think I will be headlining Budokan?"

"No, no.  Alana is famous for staring at the chests of other girls."

"Oh, sorry."

"No need to apologize.  They're B-cups.  They only look bigger because I have really good posture."

"So," uncomfortable pause, "why did you want to join us?"

"To apologize for Haruko's behavior."

"Shouldn't she do that?"

"I'm kind of Haruko's keeper during the day."

"Wow, they must really hate you at Ajax."

"Not really.  If I can keep Haruko out of trouble for the first thirteen episodes of the anime they will write me to the story.  It will be my first big break in an anime, so I have to make the show work until then."

"Well, good luck then.  That can't be an easy job."

"I will do it."  Yuuki makes a fist.  "I know if I get into that show I will clean up in anime."

The rest of the table face plants.


Daria enters her room and turns on the TV set.

"The Chief started crying.  Next, on Hen Kanashii Sekai, there was nothing to be done about it, they had run out of ginger!" {8}

Daria turns off the TV set and picks up the microphone.

To Be Continued

(1) Good Moo-ning Japan (Ohayo GozaiMOOOsu Nipon) is an imaginary show somewhat similar to Oha-sta.  This show, aimed a kids and teens will often have idols on the show making announcements, usually standing between extras dressed as cows.

(2) Four panel comic strips are called yonkoma's in Japan.  95% of Yonkoma's follow the formula of establish, development, climax, reaction for the four panels.

(3) Hentai means perverted.

(4) Azatoii means scheming.

(5) Bishounen means pretty boy.

(6) Sakura Night Fever is a pop song by KAN.

(7) The Usagi Dance (the bunny dance) is a children song and is presumably easy to do.

{8} "there was nothing to be done about it, they had run out of ginger!" would be "Shou ga nai -- shouga nai!" another horrible Japanese pun.
« Last Edit: February 24, 2018, 05:40:15 AM by resop2 »

Offline resop2

  • ecchi
  • Member+
  • Posts: 885
An Annoying Paradise - Daria ch 6 - Stacy
« Reply #6 on: Today at 04:56:44 AM »
A strange boy and girl make out in front of Daria's locker causing annoyance.  Josephine gives Tomu an edict causing annoyance.  And, Risa gives an announcement to Daria causing annoyance.  Besides annoyance there will be bad puns.  It's An Annoying Paradise - Daria Chapter six: Stacy, Attack of the Clinging Junior High School Girl.  It's a complete turnover story.

An Annoying Paradise - Daria 6 - Stacy, Attack of the Clinging Junior High School Girl (1)

"Oh my god, Quinn, I have the same outfit that you're wearing.  If you had told me, I could have worn it and we could have been twins ..." Stacy continues with mindless chatter until ...

"Um, Stacy?  I'm reading this fashion magazine, trying to get ideas for the next guild week show.  Could this wait until later?"  As they ride the bus together Quinn doesn't look up from her magazine as she answers.

"Oh I totally understand.  I am stressed out over the show as well.   I mean, do I really have a creative side?  Or, ..."  Stacy continues on with mindless chatter until ...

"Stacy, could you be quiet?"

"Okay."  Stacy looks depressed.

Jane clicks a stop watch.  "Five minutes and twenty seconds."

Daria smiles.  "That means that I win.  You're paying for ramen tonight."

"Curses.  I can never win at these bets."


Daria and Jane approach their lockers.  A strange boy and girl are making out in front of Daria's locker.

"Um, could you guys take this elsewhere?"

"Did you hear anything?"

"No Keiby."

Daria looks at Jane and notes that both of them are furious.

Jane whispers into Daria's ear and Daria nods.

The two girls blow into both of the boy's ears.

The boy starts shivering and pushes the unknown girl away.

Jane smiles a sneaky smile.  "Gee, Keiby, thanks for last night.  You were a real tiger."

Daria also smiles a sneaky smile.  "Since you liked my cookies so much I'll have to bring you some more, baked with l-o-v-e love."

The unknown girl slaps the boy and runs off.

"Wait!  Babe!"  The boy runs after her.

Jane looks sad.  "Sorry about that.  I actually know that girl.  That was Brittany. She is also in the fine arts guild.  I hate her guts."

Daria raises an eyebrow.  "Now wait just a second.  I can understand being mad about Rikoko's looks, but Brittany doesn't look like someone you would mind.  She's just a cheap looking gal. (2)

"It has nothing to do with her looks.  We both do painting and drawing.  She seems to have no capacity to learn about perspective, yet the faces she can draw are a hundred times more expressive than the ones I can draw."

"Are you worried that she'll get kicked out of the guild and then get hired to do Haruko's anime?"


Daria shudders.


Junichi, Jirou, and Jurou surround Quinn in the hall.  "Please.  We need a new character for our manga.  you would do great!"

Quinn sees Stacy in the distance.  "You know, guys, I'm really busy with my own guild's work.  However, what sort of character do you want?"

"Comic foil."

"I know just the person.  Oh, Stacy!"

Stacy runs to Quinn at a dead sprint.

"Stacy, these guys need a model for their manga.  They need a comic foil for Sandi's character."

Stacy looks scared.  "Do I have to pose with her?"

"No, no.  She's just a one trick pony.  We will never have to ask her for stuff again.  But, you, you have possibilities."

"I do??"

Quinn smiles.  "I'll let you guys work it out."


Daria shows up at Manako's house with Jane.

Manako smiles.  "Daria!  Jane!  This will be a regular Superstar Singing party!"

"Rah rah."  Daria deadpans.

Jane looks uncomfortable.  "I will probably be really bad at this game."

"So, your score will only be twice mine?"

Manako grabs both Jane and Daria by the shoulders.  "Let's go."

Once upstairs Manako starts up the equipment.  "Jane, don't you have a guy you might be with?"

"He said that Josephine wanted to see him."


"Tomu is a Jenny boy, and Josephine is the head manager."

"Maybe he'll be promoted."

"They should promote him.  He's really quite amazing."

"Daria, I want you to go first.  Try 'Seeds Of The Heart'." (3)


"You did practice it?"

"Thirty times, and I could never get more than seventy-five percent."

"Don't worry about it, just smile and have fun."

"Smiling costs extra!"

Daria sings the song and gets a seventy-seven percent.

Jane smiles.  "A new personal best."

Daria frowns.  "Let me guess, you two are going to do the song next and both get one hundred percent scores?"

Manako smiles a smile three times more sneaky than Daria has seen before.  "Actually, there is something else next."


Daria is shocked when the door to Manako's bedroom bursts open and Sachiko, Ai, Risa, Rikoko, Chisako, Minamo, and Natsuko pile into the room.


Sachiko smiles.  "Daria, congratulations.  We are promoting you to intermediate."

"If nominated I will not run.  If elected I will not serve."

Risa pushes Daria's head.  "Baka!  You will still be anonymous.  The only difference will be that you will practice with everyone else, and, my workouts will be harder."

"But, just because I could do a seventy-seven?"

Ai smiles.  "It had nothing to do with that score.  It's because you're ready."

"I knew I should have slacked off."

Minamo grabs Daria's arm.  "I can't wait to learn from you."

"From me?"

"Of course.  We all learn from each other."

Daria looks scared.

Manako steps in.  "Anyway, since you all are here, let's see who can get the high score!"


Tomuru walks into to Josephine's office.

Josephine is not alone.  "Glad you could make it Tomuru."

"Got caught up.  Good news I hope?"

Josephine pulls out a folder and motions for Tomuru to have a seat next to the other boy.  He starts pulling out pictures.

Tomuru cringes.  "Crap."

Josephine ignores him.  "Keibin, do you notice something about your pictures?"

"Yeah, me and Brittany look cool together."

"What is our policy about girlfriends?"

"It's okay if they are trashy looking?"

"And, if you are not going steady.  Do you still not see what is wrong with these pictures?"

"Um, no."

"Brittany is wearing a different outfit in every picture.  Doesn't that suggest going steady?"

"I guess so?"

"And, Tomu?  I can be more lenient with you because you probably didn't think that Friday Magazine photographers went to art galleries, but they do."


"Not as sorry as the amount of money I had to pay Friday Magazine for these pictures.  I am afraid that I will have to punish you two."

Keibian and Tomuru cringe.

"For the next two months," Josephine gives them a stern look, "you two are dating, each other!"

Kiebian is grossed out.  "Ew!"

Tomuru has a pained expression.  "Does that mean public displays of affection?"

"I will leave that up to you two."

Keibin pulls himself together and sits up right.  "You realize, Tomu, that I will be the guy and you will be the girl."

Tomuru face plants.  "What are you talking about?  We're both guys.  Why not just be ourselves, and pretend we enjoy each other's company?"  Tomuru mutters under his breath, "Which we don't."

Josephine giggles.  "You two sound like a couple already."

"We do not!"


"Daria, you did it, you got an eighty five."  Rikako dances about, her hands flying around as if they were possessed.

"You got one hundred."

"But, I didn't sing for you."

Jane walks back into Manako's now crowded bedroom.

Daria comes over.  "How was the phone call?"

"Disaster.  Do you remember those two lovebirds this morning?  Well, the guy is named Keibin and he's also a Jenny boy."

"No cookies for him, then.  I can't sabotage his career like that."

"It gets worse.  Both him and Brittany, and me and Tomu where caught by photographers.  Josephine is now punishing them both by making them pretend to be boyfriends."

"Hey, if it means that Keibin and Brittany won't make out in front of my locker, I'm all for that."

"Yeah, but you're not going out with Tomu."


"Maybe I could arrange for Tomu and  Keibin to make out in front of your locker?"

Daria makes a face.  "That's okay, I don't need to see that."

"I don't either.  But, I will have to in my mind's eye."

Minamo walks up to Jane and Daria.  "Um, excuse me?"

Daria half smiles.  "What is it?"

"I was wondering, now that Daria is intermediate, if Jane could take a picture of generation seven together."

Jane raises an eyebrow.  "Generation seven?"

"Us four are from the seventh trainee audition that Harmony Project has ever done."

Jane shrugs.  "Sure."

Rikoko, Natsuko, and Minamo gather around Daria.  They all make the peace sign with their fingers except Daria.

Jane focuses the camera on Minamo's phone.  "Now smile!"

Everyone does so except for Daria who gives a bemused look.

Jane shows everyone the result.  "Is this the first picture of the four of you?"

Minamo shakes her head.  "I made T take a picture of us on audition day."

"Did Daria smile or do the peace sign in that picture?"

"No, but she's a cool senpai, so that is okay."


"Oh, I am so nervous, what will I do?  What if I am no good? ..."  Stacy continues with mindless chatter until ...

"Okay, Stacy.  I am ready."  Kasshoku Jirou motions for Stacy to go stand on an "x" drawn with masking tape on the ground close to where Kuro Junichi is standing.  Jirou looks into a video camera monitor intently.

Kiiro Jurou looks up from the monitor of a different camera.  "Okay, this will be simple.  We will give you a line, Junichi will respond to your line and then you'll give us your reaction.  Okay?"

"I hope so."

"Great.  Just pretend that Junichi is Sandi."

Stacy gets a deer caught in the headlights look.

"You're first line is: 'Look Sandi, I got a confession letter.'"

Stacy delivers the line to Junichi.

Junichi sneers and tries to act like Sandy, imitating her voice.  "Gee, Stacy, you are a really nice person.  I would have torn up a confession letter in the guy's face if there had been another name that had been erased from the letter before your name was added."

"Oh, my god!  Oh, my god!  This is horrible.  I will never be able to get a boyfriend.  Why does this always happen to me? ..." Stacy continues this self abusive tirade for several minutes until ...

"Cut!"  Kiiro smiles.   "That was wonderful Stacy."

"What was?"

"Your acting."

"I was acting?"

"Sure.  I mean, there was no confession letter here right?"

"Oh, you're right."  Stacy looks confused.

"You really go into your character.  I think we have all the expressions that we need."

"I did?"

"We'll probably want some more stuff for next month's comic.  We can contact you through Quinn, right?"

"I could give you guys my number."



Jane and Daria approach their lockers.

Brittany stands in front of Daria's locker and glares at them.  "I hope you two are proud of yourselves!"

Daria and Jane stare at her blankly.

"I know all about your scheme to steal Keiby from me."

Daria rolls her eyes.  "How did you make this brilliant deduction?"

"I know that Tomu is your boyfriend Jane.  I know that Keiby is going out with Tomu is a lie and that Keiby is secretly going out with Daria."

Jane smirks.  "Must be your cookies, Daria."

Brittany looks like she's going to explode with anger.

Daria sighs.  "Brittany, let me introduce you to two words that will change your life."

"If they are 'I'm sorry', then that's not going to cut it."

"No, the two words are 'people lie'."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I can't cook, and I have never made cookies for Keibin."

"Then why did you say that you did?"

"Because the two of you were being rude by not allowing me use my locker.  Like you are doing now."

"But, Keiby said you made him cookies."

Jane smirks.  "Brittany, let me give you some insight into Keibin that Tomu gave me: Keibin is a moron.  If you ask him a question that he doesn't know the answer to he will make things up and then try to pretend that they're true to not lose face."

Brittany gets a far off look on her face.

Daria and Jane move Brittany, now in "Blue Screen Of Death" mode, away from their lockers.


Quinn works steadily on her guild week project.

The phone rings.

"Oh, hi Sandi.  How are you?"

"Quinn!!!!!!!  How dare you say that to me after stabbing me in the back?"

"What ever do you mean?"

"You know what I mean.  I heard those three manga geeks talking about getting a new model.  My sources tell me that you recommended Stacy to them."

"Why, yes, I did.  But, they were never going to use you again anyway."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Quinn gulps and then composes herself.  "It's because that you are such an incredible model that you worked yourself out of a job.  They got everything they needed on the first take."

"Well, that's true, but why do they need Stacy?"

"For another character."

"I don't understand why all manga characters are not modeled after me."

"I'll have to ask them.  Anyway, I have to go.  Buu bye!"  Quinn hangs up, turns off her phone and gets back to work.


Daria opens the door to the third music study hall.

"Daria-senpai!"  Minamo and Natsuko try to run to Daria but two other girls grab them and sit them down.

Manako pats Daria on the back.  "Welcome.  There's probably a couple of people you haven't met yet."  Manako gestures to the two girls who are glaring and Natsuko and Minimo.  "The girl with the parted long hair is Risu and the girl who looks like Anapanman (4) is Akira."

"Please treat us well."

Daria bows.  "Please treat me well."

Manako puts her hand on Daria's shoulder.  "We are four and four now, four intermediates and four officials.  I guess that means that I will have to do work now and make sure that you are progressing."

"You haven't seemed to have a problem with that before, though."

Manako nervously laughs.


"So, Tomu-babe, what should we do?"

"Keibin, if you call me that one more time I will do Josephine a favor by rearranging your face and ruining your chances for debut."

"Why all the violence, Tomu-babe?"

Tomuru rages, then regains his composure.  "Keibin, I don't think you grasp our situation.  Josephine wants us to not be suspicious to photographers for a while.  If you keep referring to me with girl like terms then they will be suspicious."

"I thought we were dating."

"Pretending to be.  Understand?"

"Um, not really."

"Well, as for what to do, why don't we do guy things, like playing basketball?"

"I wouldn't do that on a date with Brittany."

"Exactly.  I am not Brittany and you should not treat me like her either."

"Well, okay, but only on one condition."

"What's that?"

"Brittany hits me pretty hard when she gets jealous.  You won't be like that will you?"

"Of course not!"

"Good.  Will you bake me cookies like Daria?"

Tomuru face plants.  "Jane told me about that.  I haven't met Daria, but Jane tells me that the cookies thing was a lie to get Brittany mad and that Daria doesn't even cook."

"That's the worst!  I get hit and I don't even get cookies."

"Let's play some basketball?"

"Okay, Tomu-babe!"


Brittany and Jane both look out of the window during the Fine Arts Guild meeting at Tomu and Keibin playing basketball and sigh.


Daria and Manako walk to the train station.

"So what did you think?"

Daria raises an eyebrow.  "Actually I was very confused.  You and Rikoko were way above me in talent as I expected.  So were Akira and Risu.  But, I was very surprised by Minamo, Natsuko, and Chisako.  I was expecting to look really weak next to them but I didn't.  Is this some trick you guys are using to prevent me from quitting: having my peers pretend that they are as bad as me?" (5)

Manako laughs.  "You know Dar-Dar, I used to have the same problem as you.  Megumi had to explain it to me.  You see, I used to think that I was an impostor."

"You thought you were someone else?"

"No, I thought that everyone else could do everything and I could only do a couple if things.  But, it was a trick my mind was playing on me.  I saw Akira and thought I will never be as funny as she is.  I saw Risu and thought I will never be as big a pervert as she is.  So, my mind told me that they could do everything better than me.  But they can't.  We all have things we excel at so Megumi told to concentrate on what I was good at so other people could learn from me."

"But, you excel at being sneaky.  How do I know this isn't part of the ruse?"

"I guess you won't know for sure.  But, I can assure you that this was a good practice for Natsuko, Chisako, and Minamo."

"But Minamo and Natsuko have been taking lessons for three years."

"You have had better teachers.  Besides, you had a lot less to unlearn."

Daria sighs.  "It's not like I will pass Rikoko and you, right?"

"Dar-dar, I would really hope so.  There are levels of talent, that is true.  Intermediates are usually better than remedial trainees, officials are usually better than intermediates, and debuted girls are usually better than official trainees.  But, even debuted girls kind of stink compared to professionals.  None of the debuted girls sing as well as a second rate musical theater singers.  None of the debuted girls dance as well as chorus dancers in professional productions.  And, with the exception of Rikoko, no one in Harmony Project would go far as a model."

"That's depressing."

"But, we are idol trainees.  Our only job of an idol is to make people like us.  There's no formula to that, just be yourself and turn the volume up."

"That might be a problem for me."


"My only talent seems to be telling people off.  Wouldn't I be disliked for that?"

"You wouldn't be ignored though."

Daria smiles.  Maybe this isn't so bad?


"He was trying to study but an insect was distracting him and he couldn't chase it down.  Next on Hen Tanashii Sekai, that fly is quick! (6)

The phone rings so Daria turns off the television.  "Hello, Jane."

"How was practice?"

"They were messing with my mind.  They had Minamo and Natsuko pretend they were as bad as me."

"Far be it for me to shatter someone's illusions of inadequacy, but we've been going to Cyberia's all ages night for a while, right?"


"So, I gotten to see Minamo and Natsuko dance many times right?"


"They're cute, and they have a bag of tricks to make them look better, but, honestly, they're not better than you at dancing.  And they couldn't beat your score at Superstar Singing."

"You're confusing the issue with facts."

"A nasty trick on my part, I know."

"So what do I do now?"

"Being mentored in writing is important to you right?"

"Of course!"

"Then continue to do your best."

"But, what if they promote me again?"

"Wouldn't be good to get blog and start building up a fan base for your writing?"

Daria stares off into space in horror.

To be continued

(1) There is a Japanese horror movie that was called in America "Stacy Attack of the School Girl Zombies".

(2) "Gal" is the name of a fashion style in Japan where girls bleach their hair blond, get out of season sun tans, and try to copy the stereotypical California girl look.

(3) Seeds of the Heart is a completely made up song name.

(4) Ananpanman is an anime character with a round head that is an animated bun filled with red bean paste.  Ananapanman also has squishy cheeks.

(5) This trick is often used by Sumo Wrestling dojo's to keep newcomers from being scared off.

(6) "that fly is quick" in Japanese is "ano hae, haee"

JPHiP Radio (20/200 @ 128 kbs)     Now playing: Cune - Dramatic Exotic Automatic