Her Perspective
I liked to keep my life neatly compartmentalized. I woke up at the same time every morning and came home at the same time every evening. I ate to maximize optimal nutrition intake, I exercised for the recommended hours a day, and I studied all subjects evenly so as to enrich my mind and leave no weak points.
In my experience, all events made a clear line from cause to effect, and it was my firm belief that, if a person let logic rule instead of emotion or fantasy, then there was very little they couldn’t be prepared for. Needless to say,
I didn’t like surprises."Nyannyan! Morning!"
A girl named Oshima Yuko waved at me from her seat. I was standing, one hand gripping the ceiling handle, rocking gently with the motion of the train.
"Good morning, Oshima-san," I replied in a softer tone, hoping to influence Yuko to lower her own voice.
"Are you running the last leg to school again today?" Yuko asked, not taking the hint.
"Of course." I didn’t understand why she had even asked.
"I think I’ll come with you this time."
I hesitated.
Yuko tilted her head. “Is that okay?”
"…It’s fine."
It didn’t make any sense. Some days Yuko would beg to tag along, swearing to the heavens that she wouldn’t slow me down so that she could be with me. And then sometimes…
I wouldn’t even mention it — just wave at me from the window in a brief moment before the train left me far behind.
It was the inconsistency that bothered me. It left me constantly on my toes. I didn’t like surprises, and ever since Yuko barreled into my life, there’d been nothing
but.
Like how I was suddenly a member of the track club, despite being certain I would join the book club. Or how I’d humiliated myself in a hundred different huge ways in the past few months to the point I was becoming used to it, when usually just bumping shoulders with someone by accident had me reprimanding myself for the rest of the day. Or how sometimes these days I’d catch myself thinking that it was almost like I was a completely different person to whoever I was before.
I narrowed my eyes at the oblivious, grinning girl in front of me. All of it was because of
her.
She has no idea what she’s done to me.
It was a small moment that wasn’t that remarkable on the face of it. We were in the middle of club practice and I had just beaten my best time… I
t was pitiful compared to the others, but they still acted like it was a huge achievement.
I felt touched by their earnest kindness, and decided it was okay to think of this as something to be proud of. Acchan and Takamina both cried out their congratulations, while Mariko gave me a small nod of approval, and Yuko jumped up and hung all over me
as usual.
It was in that moment, with Yuko’s limbs tangled around my waist and shoulders, that I felt a jolt of… something.
Excitement, but not like the excitement I felt beating my best time.
It was more… oh. Oh no.I froze, and Yuko took no mind, continuing to wriggle and clutch at my body. The terrible excitement grew, and I gave Yuko a firm shove, Yuko just laughed and walked away, totally unaware of the incredible mental meltdown she was leaving in my wake.
I am absolutely not attracted to Oshima Yuko. That’ s my perspective…I had a lot of plans laid out for my high school life here, and none of them included this horrific new development between me and her. I was going to practice hard and enjoy success as part of the track team, I was going to do well in my exams, and then in my third year a cute boy with shining eyes and flushed cheeks was going to bow low and confess to me, we would start dating steadily and perhaps even make a promise to continue seeing each other in university.
In order for me to have a perfect high school life, I realized that I should get over this weird brush with theoretical
homosexuality as soon as possible.
And I put my best foot forward —
I really did — but it was barely a week later that things went
from bad to infinitely worse.
It was annoying enough that I couldn’t stop that stupid jolt of excitement popping up at the most inappropriate times — when Yuko was licking the moisture from an ice pop, or rubbing her face on my shoulder, or even just smiling with the sun behind me — and then I found myself preparing to jog to the train station after school with Yuko once again in tow.
Despite her shorter legs, Yuko was good at keeping up. But she must’ve had a lot of energy in reserve that she wasn’t using for studying, I reasoned.
"Hey, Nyannyan, are you feeling okay?"
"Why do you ask?" I said, then added, "I’m fine."
"Um… well…"
The sound of Yuko’s footsteps ceased, and I came to a halt and turned back towards her. We were both breathing a little heavily from our efforts.
"You’ve seemed a little stressed out these past few days." Yuko scratched her cheek. "I was wondering if it’s something to do with the club."
"It’s not," I said, then added, "I’m not stressed out."
"Okay. That’s good." Yuko smiled. "Because we’re all really happy you decided to join, you know."
I blushed, feeling awkward. Yuko looked a little embarrassed, herself.
"I’m really glad it was you, Nyannyan," she said, quieter this time.
Something jolted through inside me, but this time it wasn’t excitement. It was far, far worse.
I might actually be in love with Oshima Yuko. And I think I’m—-.
The crushing pressure of it all began to eat away at my daily routine. I started oversleeping — sometimes waking up from vivid, messy dreams — and suddenly studying was impossible to do in more than ten minute bursts, with frequent breaks to turn over the
Yuko situation in my mind one more time.
My grades began to suffer. My running began to suffer, and that was
forgivable. I was
literally pulling the club down anyway since the beginning —
I couldn’t afford to be getting slower.While I worked on a more long-term plan for righting my life, I found that the short-term idea of avoiding Yuko whenever possible was working fairly well. Less of those troublesome jolts to worry about. Of course, the knowledge that I was being unfair to one of my friends —
no, all of my friends, really — was starting to weigh me down. There was no perfect solution to this problem. At the moment, my best hope was that, if I spent enough time away from Yuko, maybe the problem would go away all by itself.
"Nyannyan! Nyannyan!"
Of course, that would only work if Yuko would stop stalking me every time.
"Jeez, Nyannyan, it feels like I haven’t seen you in ages.” Yuko ran up to me in the hallway, during the changeover from second to third period.
"You saw me yesterday." I said sounding inexplicably cold. "And you’ll see me later today, at the field."
"Well, yeah." Yuko shuffled from foot to foot. "I just meant… Mm. Hey, can I run to the station with you after practice?"
"Um," I hedged. "Actually, I have somewhere else to go."
"Really? Where? Can I come?"
"Don’t just invite yourself along!" I snapped.
Before the weirdness began, this would’ve been no big deal. I yelled at Yuko all the time. And Yuko enjoyed making me do it. But with things the way they were, Yuko didn’t look smug. She actually looked a little
hurt.
"Nyannyan, you’re acting really strange lately," Yuko murmured, then looked directly in my eyes. "And I think I know why."
"Y-you do?" I started to panic, making a cold sweat run down at my back.
"Uh huh! Nyannyan has… a secret boyfriend!" Yuko winked, back to her old teasing self. "Can I come meet him?"
I just ignored her and started to walk away. Yuko followed, leaping up and draping herself over my shoulder. Excitement and love and terror and anger jolted inside all at once, and I shook Yuko off so hard that her back hit the wall.
"Stop hanging all over me! I hate it! Just how much more do you want to mess up my life?!"
People were probably watching, probably already whispering to each other. I couldn’t see or hear them — all of I’m aware of was my own ragged breaths and the look in Yuko’s eyes in the instant before I turned wordlessly and walked away.
After that, Yuko was the one doing the avoiding.
My grades didn’t improve, and my run got sloppier and slower until Mariko had to take me aside and give me a talk about teamwork and supporting each other that basically amounted to, “If you don’t start improving, we won’t be able to compete as a team.”
There were no more jolts or surprise epiphanies. In that sense, I had finally got what I wanted. But the memory of Yuko’s face in that moment before I turned away, and the incredible tension of the couple hours a day we had to run in the same field together… it settled in my heart and gnawed away at it until simply coming into school became almost unbearable.
Nearly a week later, and I couldn’t even think straight. I felt sick to my stomach with guilt. It was a hot, cloying sensation crawling through my head, spreading through my chest. It was… it was…
The world began to spin. I felt myself falling.
As it turned out, the symptoms of guilt were very similar to the symptoms of a cold, and I was suffering from both.
A helpful classmate had brought me to the infirmary, where I was tucked into a bed to rest. After fussing over me with a thermometer and putting a cooling pack on my forehead, the nurse had made me promise to stay in bed while she left to attend to something elsewhere in the school.
Even though it meant missing the track practice,
I could only agree. I felt better, probably even well enough for some gentle laps of the field, but I didn’t want to see any of my friends right now. Shame coiled run through inside me, and I drew my legs up to my chest and curled in on myself.
I’d never felt so miserable. And it was entirely my own fault.After dozing for a while, I woke to see my friends walking through the door, looking awkward and concerned. One glancing to the clock I told myself that they had ended practice early to come and see me.
"How are you feeling?" Takamina asked.
"I’m sor—" I began.
"Don’t feel bad for missing practice." Mariko smiled gently. "I should be apologizing for not noticing you were feeling sick."
"Your form has been terrible lately," Acchan said.
"Atsuko!" Takamina chided.
But I didn’t mind, because I understood that it was meant as an expression of understanding, rather than criticism.
Yuko hovered slightly behind everyone else, and didn’t speak to me directly. She didn’t look all that well, either. She looked like she’d been missing sleep.
My heart shuddered painfully.After our well-wishing was done, everyone turned to leave me to recover in peace. I wished I was brave enough to call Yuko back, to speak to her.
But Yuko stopped at the door anyway, almost as if she had heard the words I wanted to say without me ever being spoken. She took a couple of hesitant steps back into the room, closing the door behind her.
I opened my mouth, but still nothing would come. No apology or explanation or even just simple thanks for visiting. Yuko didn’t seem to notice my struggle —
she had her own purpose.Suddenly bowing low, she balled her fists at her side and said, “I’m very sorry!”
Now I couldn’t talk for a different reason. Shock had stolen my voice.
Yuko continued, “I know that I’m at least partly to blame for all of this.”
I gaped.
Yuko blamed herself for me catching a cold?"I’ve made you feel so stressed. It’s my fault."
"No, Yuko —"
"It’s okay, Nyannyan. I understand." Yuko came up from the bow, but kept her eyes low. "I really never meant for you to find out how I felt. I knew it would only be a burden."
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even know what I was hearing.
Yuko’s face and voice were tense with false cheer. “But since it’s too late anyway, I’d just like to say one thing.”
Too late? The words echoed in my head.
Bowing low once again, Yuko said, “Nyannyan, I love you.”
Then, with a deep breath, she straightened up and showed me a different smile. It wasn’t as bright as her usual one, but definitely more genuine than the fake one from before. It was beautiful, but tinged with sadness.
I hated it."I’m glad I got to say it." Yuko sighed shakily. "With this, I can give up on you, Nyannyan. So things can go back to the way they were. But please… please don’t quit the club."
After several long moment with no response, Yuko turned to leave.
I leapt out of bed and ran after her, grabbing her by the wrist and spinning her back around.
"I love you too." It came out like an accusation.
Yuko blinked. I took in a shuddering breath and tried again.
"I love you, Yuko." I clenched my fists and couldn’t bring myself to make an eye contact. "But I’m scared, and confused, and I’m sorry. I’m such a coward that I said something terrible to you, but I think I really love you. I don’t want you to give up on me."
It was Yuko’s turn to stand speechless. I forced myself to look into her eyes, into those wide, heartbreaking eyes.
"Please… please don’t give up," I said, trembling.
Yuko stared for a moment longer, then smiled so bright it was blinding. She closed the distance between us in one step, and rose onto her tiptoes to press her mouth to mine.
It all came surging back at once. My entire body jolted with uncountable painfully happy feelings, and I kissed her back just like I’d dreamed of doing.
Before either of us knew it, we were back to the bed, I pressed down into the mattress, Yuko kneeling over me, grazing tantalizingly over my lap as we swapped deeper and deeper kisses.
Then realization strike and I finally drew her mouth away and say, “You’re going to catch my cold.”
"That’s fine," Yuko answered, pressing sweet little kisses onto my chin, my cheek, my neck. "Give me everything, Nyannyan."
Almost without thinking, my fingers found their way down Yuko’s body, nervously slipping just under the waistband of her skirt to—
The door slid open and suddenly Yuko was standing a good three steps away from the bed, looking like a girl trying far too hard to appear innocent.
"I hope you’ve been resting, Kojima-chan," the school nurse said as she stepped back into the room.
"Y-yes." I gulped.
And this was what made Yuko so scary. She made me forget her sense — to the point that I was making out with her in school, in the infirmary, where anyone could and was likely to walk in, and I hadn’t even thought about the repercussions until this very moment. Yuko really messed me up, without even trying.
"I’m feeling much better," I said, desperate to leave as soon as possible.
The nurse looked dubious. Yuko chimed in.
"Don’t worry. I’ll get her into bed."
The effect was instantaneous. I blush bright red. So did Yuko.
"Ah, no! I-I mean, I’ll make sure she rests. Through any means necessary." A beat. "Ah! I mean—!"
Unable to bear anymore, I stepped in. “Yuko will look after me.”
Satisfied, or maybe just tired of the two of us, the nurse waved us out.
Later we walked together to the station. Obviously, we couldn’t do anything as blatant as holding hands. But we walked close enough that our fingers would brush together every now and again.
Yuko was talking happily, about anything and everything, about all the things she couldn’t say while I had been trying to cut her out of my life. As Yuko went on and on, I found myself thinking how much I’d missed this.
The thought slowed me down, and Yuko noticed immediately.
"Nyannyan, are you okay?"
I was still smiling, but Yuko could see the seriousness in my eyes. More than ever before, I felt aware of the quiet, hidden strength of Yuko. And suddenly she knew: When I was scared or exhausted in my own suffocating logic, Yuko would be there every time, with those same sharp, kind eyes, asking if I was okay.
"Yes," I answered, and meant it. “Yuko will
now look after me.”
Because it’s my perspective…all along… -END-
A/N: For next week I'll be excluding MaYuki and KojiYuu pairing since I get the feeling they will win
again 
and decided to make a longer story for the two couples anyway...
so for the next 2 weeks you can vote other pairings....but the bad news is only
one pair with the highest vote will win
...voting will resume until further notice... thanks everyone
Topic: [O.S. and S. S. Collections] Kissing Galore (Kai x Acchan) (Read 28266 times)