Caveat lector.
What I Wanted (Mayuki) I wanted someone to love. Someone to hold and to never let go of.
A fairy tale kind of story.
The kind that you only ever hear about as fantasy or saw in the movies. The kind that was one of a kind and happened only once in a billion years.
Yet I wanted to be that one.
The one that may be lucky enough to be the one that fortune might smile upon and present that special someone. Nothing made me more deserving than anyone else. But it was my one wish.
So I hoped. And I dreamed.
And maybe, just maybe, I’d find what I was looking for.
---
There was a screech of tires.
An impact. Her body felt like it was suddenly knocked to the side.
Then everything went black.---
The day started off the same as any other. Yuki went to school, sat in her usual seat, the same old melancholic mood as she stared out the window. Her head was propped up by her hand, elbow on the desk, the cherry blossoms floating off of the single lone tree in the courtyard of their school.
Even though she knew that the detached petals only meant the tree was dying, it was still an oddly peaceful sight.
And the blossoms didn't fall exactly, they didn't plummet from the branches, they
floated. Like a feather in midair.
A gust of wind came by and swirled up the petals in a gentle storm. They blew up towards the window, which was left open just a crack by Yuki because she liked to feel the breeze. Sometimes she wished she could be like those flowers, drifting along with the wind, easygoing and free.
But the flowers had to be scattered to do so, and Yuki wasn't sure if she wanted that. She didn't want to be in pieces. But then again, she didn't feel whole in the first place. She felt kind of empty, like something was missing, but she didn't know what could fill that void.
A few petals spilled through the opening and drifted towards Yuki’s desk, absentmindedly catching her attention. She stared the single flower that made its way in front of her face, mesmerized by the rare sight.
It was whole, not separate petals but an entire blossom.
And it floated through the air, suspended for a second before it landed softly on the back of her hand that was resting on the table.
“...Kashiwagi Yuki.” The sudden call of her name made Yuki come out of her stupor. But luckily the teacher hadn't called on her, he was just saying her name...but why?
Class had only just started but Yuki had already zoned out for the first 5 minutes and it seemed she’d missed something important.
There was a girl. A pretty young girl standing behind the teacher and she was smiling at Yuki. It elicited a strange sensation in her chest and Yuki suddenly wished that she had paid enough attention to at least hear the new transfer student’s name, at least that what Yuki assumed she was. Yuki had never seen the girl before so she must be new to the class.
“Then I’ll be counting on you Kashiwagi-san.” The teacher said with a nod in Yuki’s direction.
“H-Hai.” Yuki hadn't caught what he was relying on her for, so she didn't know what to do. Fortunately she was spared when he just went on with class.
The new girl walked over, sitting in the empty seat right behind her and Yuki swore she felt someone staring at her all class period, but she wasn't going to turn and look.
When it was over, the bell ringing to signal the end of the period, Yuki nearly sighed in relief, thinking she was safe.
But then the new girl appeared right next to her with a cute grin, hand extended. “Hi! I’m Watanabe Mayu. Nice to meet you~”
“Um, nice to meet you too...” Yuki took the hand warily.
“So, should we get going?”
“Going where?” She frowned. Was she missing something?
“The teacher asked you to show me around, since I’m new and all.” Mayu explained. When Yuki didn't answer for a second, she continued. “...You weren't listening.”
It was more of a statement than a question, spoken coldly and Yuki was a little taken aback by Mayu’s tone. She’d pegged Mayu as the energetic cute type, from her smiles to her introduction. But it seemed that wasn't all there was to her.
Yuki sometimes complained about everything being too routine, that she wanted a change sometimes because her life was just unsatisfying in a way.
But nothing could’ve prepared her.
Kashiwagi Yuki was caught completely off guard by the being that just suddenly entered into her life and took over.
Watanabe Mayu.
---
Everything was black. Pitch black. She couldn't see anything, but it felt like she was floating in midair, no sensations other than that emptiness surrounding her.
“Do you want to go back?” The voice had no body, and impossible to pinpoint. It was emanating from everywhere and nowhere all at once.
“What?” She demanded. The truth was starting to set in, desperation and exasperation overwhelming her. “How? I’m dead aren’t I?! I can’t go back!”
“Perhaps. Almost. But so is she. However, you must choose... Only one of you can return. So I can grant you that wish, if that is what you truly want. Her entire existence will be erased, yet you alone will continue to live with your memories. Are you prepared to give that up?”
She thought it over. Did she want to keep living? Of course she did. And this was her only chance. But what she wanted most...was to return to her.
If she took the deal, then the other would die, and she didn't want that. She wanted both of them to live together. And she knew that the other would wish for that as well. Without her, life would just be meaningless empty again and she didn't want to give up the one thing that she had finally found, the one that completed her.
She didn't want her to leave.
“So...” She started carefully. A kind of calm settled over her. “Basically you’re saying that you can give me one wish? Anything at all?”
“Yes.”
It was so ironic, a cruel twist of fate. She’d been asked that just the other day – if she could have one wish, what would it be? But thanks to that, she knew what to wish for, and that helped her make a decision.
“Then I want to use it on someone else.” Her voice was sure and unwavering, determination shining in her gaze. “Give my chance to her. Grant her wish, whatever she wants.”
“Are you certain? You will not be able to go back on your word. And there is no guarantee that everything will go back to the way it was.”
“I’m sure.”
“...Very well then. As you wish.”
The darkness started swirling and she suddenly felt like she was falling. Her heart crawled into her throat as her body plummeted down and down, seemingly endlessly.---
“Come on, Yukirin!” Mayu called after her, having sprinted ahead of the slower girl. “I want to get some ice cream!”
Yuki thought about trying to catch up but gave up, Mayu just had too much energy to match. “Okay give me a second.”
When she finally did get there, she found Mayu standing by a simple little ice cream booth set up on the side of the road, nothing special about it but the colorful images of ice cream had attracted Mayu. She was just like a child sometimes, and Yuki found it endearing.
So she smiled, “I’ll buy some for you.”
“Really?” The younger girl's eyes lit up instantly. Happiness practically radiated out of her as she stared at Yuki with wide eyes.
“Sure.”
“Yay! Yukirin’s the best~” Mayu enveloped her in a hug and Yuki just patted her on the head lovingly. Mayu was younger than Yuki, automatically making her feel protective of the younger girl and wanting to take care of Mayu, almost like her motherly instincts came out especially at times like this when Mayu acted like an adorable kid.
They spent a lot of time around each other now, almost every moment, and Yuki found that Mayu tended to be a bit more distant to everyone else except her. And that cold front had even earned the nickname of ‘cyborg’, but Yuki was a little grateful to it for some reason.
Yuki had also learned a lot more about the girl after their first meeting. How Mayu was a big otaku, how she would always watch anime in her free time, and how she loved to be spoiled.
And Yuki didn't mind being the one to spoil her.
Seeing Mayu happy made Yuki happy, and that was enough.
---
“How is she?” She asked with concern. The checkup had gone without a hitch, with the patient being quite cooperative this time around, and she had waited outside the room on a hard bench, anxiously wishing the doctor would come out with some good news.
“I’m sorry to tell you this, but it’s only going to get worse from here on out.”
She had seen this coming, nevertheless, she had hoped it wouldn’t happen, that she was wrong. But she wasn’t.
The wish had been granted. She just didn't know that it would affect them like this.
If only she knew, she would’ve asked to be the one that got hurt, yet she escaped with barely any injuries. She would give anything to trade places now. But in a way, they already had.
“There is a lot of damage to the right side of her brain, so the way she perceives things has most likely affected greatly. At this stage, it’s hard to tell what will happen, so we can only wait and see, though there is a high chance that it will get progressively worse until her mind reverts back to a child-like state. The only thing I know for sure is that her life is no longer in danger.”
The doctor saw her visibly deflate, as if all the life had been sucked out of her. The young girl always came to visit at least once a week without fail and had seemed extremely tired lately, always nodding off as she waited outside the patient’s room and had dark bags under her eyes. All the enthusiasm she used to have had come and gone, leaving her a mere shell of her former self. She was longer as bright as she used to be.
“I’m so sorry to tell you this.” The white-coated doctor apologized sincerely. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to cheer her up, but he would do his job. “I am taking every possible measure, but I don’t want to give you false hope. Due to the brain damage, it was very unlikely that she’d ever wake up in the first place. However, she did, so there is still some hope for another miracle to happen.”
She had been prepared to spend her life at the bedside, since everyone said that the girl was in a deep coma and may never come back. So she was prepared, but the other girl had woken up, against all expectations.
The other girl had fought her way back, for her.
So she still had hope. She still wished – that everything would be alright. And if it wasn’t, then it’d have to be. She’d make it alright.
---
Mayu often invited Yuki over to stay the night, especially when her parents were away on business. Yuki had met them once and according to Mayu, she had left a very good impression, thus they trusted Yuki to look after their daughter whenever they were away.
The same went for Yuki’s mom, who treated Mayu like her own daughter and took an immediate liking to the young girl. So she had no objections whenever Yuki packed an overnight bag and left the house, shouting after her that she was going to Mayu’s. “I’m staying the night! Be back tomorrow!”
The first couple of times Yuki stayed over, she slept on the couch, finding it too awkward to share a bed. But soon Mayu had somehow convinced her to sleep in her bed, saying that she was cold and then Yuki had no choice but to become her personal heater.
She blushed madly at first when Mayu clung to her like a koala, but eventually got comfortable with the other girl’s closeness and contrary to what Mayu said, she was very warm. The pleasant scent of her shampoo enveloping Yuki and lulling her into a cozy sleep.
Then the next morning, Yuki woke up to emptiness, the bed feeling cold and bare, as if all the warmth had left with Mayu. And when she realized that it was Mayu that was missing, she shot up frantically and sprinted out of the bedroom, still in a half asleep stupor.
Only to be met with an apron clad Mayu and the smell of fresh pancakes.
“Morning Yukirin~” Mayu greeted her with a cute smile and a slight bedhead. “Breakfast is almost done and syrup’s in the cabinet over there.”
And that's when Yuki realized that besides Mayu’s childish side, there was also a very mature and grown up side to her as well.
---
Yuki ran. She ran and ran, breathing so hard so hard she was almost hyperventilating. Her chest felt so tight it hurt and her legs threatened to give out with every step. She was slowing down because her body was at its limit. She wasn't sure exactly how long she'd been running, but it must’ve been a long time. Yuki believed that she had covered a lot of distance.
Distance she was putting between herself and her pursuer.
But she couldn't stop. Yuki wasn't far away enough yet. Not yet.
No, she couldn't stop.
Because if she did...then she would catch up.
A sudden hand on her shoulder jerked her back, and Yuki almost fell to her knees, relieved that she could rest but if someone stopped her, then it could only mean one thing.
She had caught up.
Hunching over, she panted, trying to get some oxygen into her lungs before she suffocated. Yuki wasn't the most athletic person so she was almost blacking out from the exercise, but she had made it at least 5 miles, Yuki was sure it was a long distance.
Nevertheless, she had caught up. It was almost inhuman, the speed at which the other girl covered that far of a distance. It seemed so effortless to her even though it was such a struggle for Yuki, and Yuki didn't remember being this weak before even if she was somewhat lacking in the physical department...
“Why Yuki...” Mayu stared at her with solemn eyes. “Why are you running from me?”---
Yuki sat on the bed, her back propped up against the headboard. The wood was digging into her back and her butt had fallen asleep some time ago, but she didn't want to move. Because Mayu was snuggled up into her side, and Yuki wouldn't move her for anything.
Mayu’s laptop was in front of them, sinking into the sheets slightly and intense sound effects coming out of the anime they were watching. Yuki wasn't paying all that much attention, but Mayu was.
She was staring at the screen intently, and Yuki could tell even though she couldn't the girl’s face from their position. And while she watched the screen, Yuki watched her.
Mayu didn't move much (having been too absorbed in her favorite show) except for an occasional wiggle that reminded Yuki of their close vicinity. And even though her cheeks were burning, Yuki wished that they could stay like this forever.
Then she was suddenly struck by the thought that Mayu might leave someday. She didn't want that. She’d finally started feeling complete, it was a fuzzy and warm feeling, intensifying every single time Mayu smiled at her or giggled, whenever Mayu held her hand and pulled her along while they shopped or when Mayu was being a goofball and Yuki's sides hurt from laughing too hard at her antics.
Yuki loved it all. She never wanted it to end.
“Ne Mayu...” Yuki spoke up when the ending theme started playing. She had been so lost in her thoughts that she missed the entire episode and couldn't even recall the name of the anime.
“Hmm? What is it, Yukirin?” Mayu looked up at her with big round eyes. She could sense something was a little off since Yuki didn't call her ‘Mayuyu’ like usual. “Is something wrong?”
“No, nothing's wrong!” Yuki reassured her. “I just...had a question.”
“What question?” Mayu’s attention was completely focused on the older girl, her odd behavior making Mayu a little worried.
“If...If you could have one wish, anything you wanted, what would you wish for?”
“One wish?” Mayu had been asked this question before.
Teachers often asked when Mayu was little and she had even written an essay with the exact prompt. But she had never taken it too seriously and now considered it with a new perspective, carefully thinking it over before answering Yuki.
“When I was little...” Mayu chose her next words with care. “I really wanted to own all the anime merchandise in the world.”
Yuki was about to make a comment but Mayu put a finger to Yuki’s lips, indicating that she wasn't done.
“And then I wanted to go to Disney world, or the beach, or—”
“Mayu—”
“Hang on. I’m getting there.” Mayu stopped and took a deep breath before speaking again. “...But then it changed. That's not what I want anymore.” Mayu looked her right in the eye and Yuki was mesmerized by her seriousness. “I’m not sure when it happened, but I don’t want material things anymore. I still want to go to Disney, but with someone. I want somebody to come with me to the beach, and just spend time with them. I don’t care what we do as long as I have that someone by my side. Then even something as simple as cuddling on my bed watching anime became my dream. And I won't let it go for anything.”
Mayu looked so sincere, like she was laying everything out for Yuki to see, and hopefully accept. The little cyborg had finally decided to reveal her heart entirely.
Then Yuki decided, that it wasn't just that she wanted Mayu to be happy, she wanted to be happy as well.
And so she leaned in, capturing Mayu’s soft lips in a chaste kiss, just like she had always dreamed.
---
“Let me go...” Yuki pleaded, tears shining in her eyes. They were back in the room - the one that Yuki hated most - and stood facing each other. “Leave me alone please...”
“Yuki...” Mayu watched completely heartbroken. “Why? At least tell me that.”
“Because...you’re going to leave me someday anyways, so just go now.” Anger replaced the sadness in Yuki’s eyes and Mayu was struck speechless.
“Is that what you think?”
“I don't want you anywhere near me. So just go!” Yuki screamed.
“Yuki!”
“No!” Yuki pushed Mayu away when she tried to come closer, hard enough to make the latter stumble back and almost trip over the uneven floor. “Ever since that accident, everything’s changed! You’re not the same anymore!”
Those words hurt. Mayu knew that she hadn’t changed. The one that changed was Yuki.
“But—”
“NO MAYU! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!”
Mayu grabbed Yuki’s flailing arms so that she wouldn't hurt herself and pinned them to her sides in a crushing hug. She could feel Yuki still struggling but Mayu was stronger, especially as of late, and managed to keep Yuki trapped in the hug.
Still, Yuki kept squirming relentlessly but eventually tired herself out and her body relaxed.
“Yuki listen to me...I promised that I would never leave you, and I won’t.” Mayu whispered by her ear, tears threatening to spill out. “So please, don’t leave me.”---
“Yukirin~ Hurry up!”
A sense of déjà vu washed over her as Mayu dragged her along. They were taking a break from the anime watching and were headed to the supermarket for some snacks. It’d already been a month since Mayu confessed to Yuki, and the same fluttering feeling in her chest still hadn’t gone away yet, though she didn’t think it ever would.
The past few weeks had been the best in her entire life, and she wanted her time with Mayu to last for an eternity. They often went on dates and Mayu would hold her hand, pulling her along just like she was doing now, and Yuki loved the feeling. She loved Mayu.
“Hey slow down a bit Mayuyu~ You’re going to pull my arm off.” Yuki jokingly whined.
“It’s ‘cause you’re too slow Yukirin.” Her cyborg side came out a bit as Mayu retorted. That was yet another side that Yuki had come to know and love. And Yuki knew Mayu well enough to tell that her cold tone was only in jest.
All of a sudden, Yuki stopped, yanking Mayu back as well.
“Yuki? Wha—”
Yuki pulled her in for a deep kiss, an arm wrapping possessively around Mayu’s waist and hand cupping her cheek gently but firmly. Mayu was shocked by the sudden advance, usually being the one that initiated things due to Yuki’s embarrassment of doing anything in public.
Nevertheless, Mayu didn’t pull away and just let herself enjoy it, eyes closing in pleasure. It was once in a million years that Yuki would do something so bold and she had to cherish every moment of it, kissing her back with fervor.
It lasted several seconds before they both pulled back, slightly breathless with Mayu’s hands linked behind Yuki’s neck and Yuki’s hand caressing her cheek. Their foreheads were still touching and neither of them really felt like moving away yet.
“Well that was unexpected.” Mayu breathed, her face tinged a little pink.
“Did you not like it?”
“What?” Her eyes widened. “No, of course I did! I love you Yukirin~”
The giggle coming from Yuki caught her off guard, and Mayu finally figured out that she was only being teased. Yuki was only messing with her. She pouted at the thought and untangled herself from Yuki, crossing her arms defensively as she turned her back on the older girl.
“Aw Mayuyu~ I was just kidding.” Yuki tried to assuage her girlfriend.
“...”
“Mayuyu~” Yuki came up behind her and wrapped her arms around Mayu’s neck, her hot breath tickling Mayu’s neck. “Please forgive me?”
A shudder ran down her spine from Yuki whispering in her ear and Mayu blushed madly, but she wasn’t going to give in that easily. “Nice try, but not quite.” Mayu moved out of Yuki’s embrace and smirked at her. “You’ll have to make it up to me later.”
“Oh? And what did you have in mind?”
“I have a few ideas~ But first let's go get something to eat, I’m starving!” Her childish side took over as she skipped across the crosswalk.
Yuki chuckled at her cute antics, then started chasing after her, almost reaching the young girl a mere few feet away. “Wait for me!”
Mayu made it halfway across the street before it happened.
The one time they separated, and only for a few seconds, then
this.
A slight breeze blew past, carrying with it a sakura blossom – complete with all the petals still attached. Mayu’s attention was entirely fixated on the sight. Everything slowed down as she watched, the cherry blossom peacefully floating past in front of her.
But then something else blew past, tearing the petals apart.
There was a screech of tires.
An impact. Her body felt like it was suddenly knocked to the side.
Then everything went black.
---
“Excuse me Miss, but visiting hours are over.”
“Oh I’m sorry. I lost track of time.” She chuckled and made a move to get up out of her seat but the nurse interrupted.
“How can that be?” The nurse inquired. “I'm sorry for being rude, but why do you come spend your time here every day? I always see you sitting there for hours on end, and yet you never seem bored or want to leave.”
She was about to answer but a sudden thud against the glass wall made her stop, her mouth still half-open with a reply as she turned her head to the source.
Behind the glass was an entirely white room, a single mattress laid out and both the walls and floor padded for the safety of its sole occupant. The occupant that had just thrown herself against the glass. There was a large scar running from above her hairline to across her temple and forehead - proof of her near death experience. Her face was still pressed up against clear panel as she watched them curiously, almost like a child.
Mayu smiled, her eyes never leaving the girl on the other side. It was a sad smile, but filled with hope. “Because I want to.”
---
Somewhere along the way, it changed again.
What I wanted changed.
What I want
now, is just for her to be happy. That's the only thing I ask for. And if I could have just one wish, I’d use it on her again.
Once, I had thought that maybe it'd be best for both of us to leave, but when I tried, she’d clutched at my shirt, crying. And when I wiped her tears away and tilted her head up, her eyes struck me.
Then I knew.
Because when I saw those glistening eyes, I knew that she wasn't completely gone. There’s still some traces of the old her in there, deep down somewhere. I can feel it.
So I couldn't leave her. I wouldn’t leave her. For her sake as well as mine. Having her like this is better than not at all.
Without her, I’d be empty. Incomplete.
Before, I knew that she was always insecure, but I didn’t know just how insecure she was until it manifested like this – as she pushes me away but doesn’t want me to go at the same time. She never said this out loud, but I know now - that her one desire is to never be alone again, no matter what, even if something happened for the worse, that her someone won’t leave her. And that's exactly what happened. That someone is me.
That's why, all I can do is stay by her side, dreaming that one day we might go back to the way used to be.
Now it’s my turn to take care of her.
I really want her to return to me. I want it so bad. No, it’s more than that, I
desire her. But if she’s happy the way she is now, which I'm sure she's not, but if she is then I don't mind. I can’t mind. And even if she sees me differently now, I can tell that she still loves me back. So that's not my wish, because I know she does, and that'll have to be enough even though I want more.
So that's not my one hope.
That's not my ideal dream.
That’s not even what I want.
I want her to come back to me – as
her. But I love her. And above all else, I want the best for her.
So I’ll put her needs in front of my own.
I love you, Yuki. Always.
Topic: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #8 For a Flight (YuiParu) (Read 31853 times)