God if I could go back in time, I'd smack younger self. So much telling and not enough showing in this fic
@Haruko: Hey! Thanks for waiting~ I would, but I don't know much about the newer members now since I've been out of the fandom for a few years. I do remember watching an AKBingo couples episode with Yuunaa and Mogion (which was funny and adorable) but that's about it.
Pause [Kojiyuu]Haruna is just a little girl when it starts happening. People around her suddenly stop moving, and not just people, it’s like the whole world just...well using one of the vocab words she has just learned that day in school – they
pause - like when you’re watching a movie and you hit that little button with the two lines on it. Time isn’t stopping—it’s not a stop because then the movie would restart from the beginning and not from where you left off. No, just like the movie, everything resumes not long after. In fact, it’s like it never even happened at all, but Haruna knows it did. She is so sure, but no one else will believe her.
“It really did happen!”
But who listens to kids? The adults just chalk it up to her imagination until Haruna starts believing it as well.
Then one day, it happens again - a pause. She counts the length this time – 10 minutes. And Haruna does a lot in those 10 minutes (mostly draws on the walls), but when the pause ends and the drawings are still there (though she gets yelled at for it), then Haruna has her confirmation.
So with that question answered, she starts asking more. When will it happen again? How long does it last each time? What causes them? And most important to the little girl—why is she the only one not affected? Is there really no one else like her? Is she all alone in this? If so, then why? Of course she doesn’t go so in depth at first, Haruna is only a child after all, but as she grows older, and more pauses keep happening – each one longer than the last, more questions without answers pop up. Maybe she should’ve been scared, but the fascination of the whole situation overtakes any fear she would’ve had. Haruna is just far too curious.
She doesn’t know how to find the answers, though she doesn’t hesitate to try. But looking it up produces creepy forums where people claim to be werewolves, libraries only contain stories and folklore (and satanic rituals), and with those two options out the window, Haruna has nothing left. She gave up asking other people a long time ago. Maybe as a kid it was okay to have an ‘overactive imagination’ but now she’s grown up to be a teenager and her parents will definitely get her checked.
Having exhausted all her options, Haruna kind of gives up. She’s tried everything, so maybe it’s time to just accept it and move on. For as long as she can remember, Haruna’s been experiencing these gaps and living with them as a normal part of her life, and now she doesn’t question it anymore. She tries to convince herself it’s for the best and squashes her (still growing) curiosity.
The pauses don’t seem to change though - completely unaffected by Haruna’s decision. Over time (ironically), the pauses have grown to last about half an hour now, but other than that there is nothing of significance. They maintain their thirty-minute period and are still at random. It happens when Haruna’s in the bath, walking to school, trying to study for exams, taking a nap (which actually confuses her a lot when she wakes up and barely any time has passed) but she can’t say that they aren’t pretty helpful when she wants to catch up on sleep. Then sometimes it’s once a day, other times none for a week, but Haruna thinks nothing of it.
The universe is just doing what it has always done, and even if Haruna is the only one who’s not a part of it, she doesn’t mind.
This continues on for a while and Haruna doesn’t even think about the pauses anymore they’re so commonplace – like something as simple as the weather (and just as unpredictable).
It’s a normal day for her. She oversleeps in the morning (though that’s not out of the ordinary for her at all), but luckily one of the pauses allows her to make it to school on time and repeat her boring schedule. Now Haruna’s hanging out with her friends after classes have ended. They go to the mall and shop around, eating crepes and having a good time. They’re her best friends, but Haruna doesn’t feel the need to share her little secret with them. Not yet at least, because if Haruna can’t explain it then who will believe her? And she’s had enough of people laughing in her face.
All of a sudden, everything halts, the speed of the world goes to zero. Haruna merely sighs and continues munching on her crepe, her friends on the bench next to her with their mouths open mid-sentence. She’ll have to explain later how she ate her snack so fast but stranger things have happened (Haruna doesn’t like to talk about it).
Then movement catches her attention, like something just disappeared into a store close to where Haruna’s sitting. And she immediately stands, dropping her forgotten crepe and dashing off to find out what it is. It’s the first time she’s ever seen anything move (other than herself) during one of these periods and she has to find out what it is for the life of her.
When she does, it’s not what she expected. A model-like lady who is obviously obsessed with fashion is definitely not what Haruna thought she’d find. She wonders what she has in common with this lady as they’re both unaffected by the pause but she can’t think of anything.
“H-Hey...” Haruna can’t help but stutter. She’s so nervous, scared, excited all at once.
The tall lady spins around, arms loaded with shopping bags. “Oh I didn’t expect to run into anyone.”
I didn’t either.“So then, what’s your name?”
“Me?” Haruna asks, still a little out of it due to her new discovery.
The lady rolls her eyes, “No, the one that’s frozen behind you. Yes, you.”
“I-I’m Kojima Haruna. It’s nice to meet you.” Haruna then frowns. “Do...Do you know what’s behind these pauses? You seem so calm. How?...”
“Hmm I guess you’re the other one then...” Her inquiries are completely being ignored.
“The one what?”
“I guess this was meant to be then, if I met you here...” The lady murmurs to herself, then looks back up at Haruna. “Well I’m just going to clear up the fact that I’m not the cause of all this, if that’s what you mean by ‘pauses’.”
“Then what—”
“Ah.” The lady holds up a hand to stop her. “Not what.
Who.”
Haruna’s eyes widen a bit as the information sinks in.
There’s someone deliberately doing this...But... “Why? Why would they do this? What reason do they have? And...why are we the only ones not affected?”
The lady just smirks. “Have you ever heard of the red thread of fate?”
But Haruna’s frown only deepens.
“Well whatever~ It doesn’t really matter. To put it simply, I’m not human, and therefore not the one you’re looking for. I just came down here to do some shopping while the ‘pause’ is going on so I don’t have to pay.”
Haruna thinks the lady talks in a much too vague and confusing way.
She’s not human? Isn’t that stealing? And who am I looking for?...Seeing her perplexed expression, the lady sighs. “Well if I were to explain this...”
This girl...what is she an airhead? Do I really have to spell it out? All she wanted was to get some new clothes. “Look, there is someone causing this,” She spoke slowly, accentuating each word, “And they are the only other person not affected besides you.”
“B-But I...” That only raises more questions for Haruna.
Ugh I’ll never get any shopping done at this rate. “I will answer your question though.” She cuts her off.
“...Which one?”
The lady smirks again, “All of them. Because they all have one answer.
Why, you ask?”
What she says next stuns Haruna past words.
“For you.”This encounter marks a change in Haruna’s life. It rekindles her curiosity and it’s back stronger than ever. She has to—she must find out who is causing them. And why...her of all people?
It’s hard to go back to normal, pretending like nothing happened—even though she was so good at pretending before. But Haruna still doesn’t know where to look, the only thing she can think of...is to wait for the next pause – the only connection between her and the mysterious person.
She had tried to ask the lady, but the next second she looked up, the lady was already gone, vanished into thin air. So there went Haruna’s only lead. But she is slightly grateful to the lady for telling her
something at least.
Another pause does not occur for the next week. During this time, she keeps wondering. What kind of person are they? How do they know when Haruna needs the help? What do they like? The questions drift from actually being about the pauses to the person themselves. And the most prominent question of all, is if that person really pauses time just for her. Are they searching for her like she is for them? Haruna’s chest constricts at the thought.
By the time a week has passed, Haruna is already hopelessly infatuated with someone whom she has never even met, and she can’t wait to meet them. It gets to the point where she doesn’t even care what they are like or that she had never even seen them once. They could be a guy or girl, tall or short, ugly or beautiful, it doesn’t matter. Haruna is already far too...‘interested’ as she puts it and knows she has passed a point of no return.
She thinks of trying to force one to happen just for the sake of meeting them. One thing she did figure out, when she really thought about it, is that all the pauses happen at convenient moments—too convenient.
Haruna tends to take really long baths, almost always wakes up late for school, likes to get distracted when she’s studying for tests, and when she’s really tired, the pauses give her time to rest and sleep or catch up on work. The pauses give her back crucial time that Haruna accidentally wastes, and before she even knows it, she has come to rely on them. Like she knows they’ll be there when she needs it, and it gives a sense of comfort knowing now that someone is doing it on purpose – for her apparently.
A more extreme example that Haruna had chalked up to coincidence in the past, is when she was little and the pauses weren’t so common just yet. She had run across the street, letting go of her mother’s hand because she was too excited for ice cream, and a car almost hit her.
Almost. A pause happened right then, and it saved her life.
Originally she believed they were random, accidents that the universe generated, but now she knows that’s not the case. Now she has someone to thank.
Haruna is sure that cheesy line of ‘I’d stop time for you’? is exactly what’s happening. Someone is doing exactly that—for her.
And again, she can’t wait to meet the cause.
When the pause happens once again, Haruna doesn’t waste any time. She sprints out of her classroom, off campus and into the city. She’s got thirty minutes at best and if she doesn’t make it back by then she’ll have skipped school by accident. But who cares.
Haruna’s only following a hunch or something like that, something that comes with the pause, instincts, feelings, she doesn’t know. She just knows she will find them if she follows it.
Haruna walks down streets, and when there was an intersection she just charges straight ahead, only to turn back and head a different way when it feels wrong - a feeling of anguish and anxiety right in her gut. She makes it all the way to a hotel, a tall intimidating skyscraper that blocks the sun, but it feels right in her chest, and she goes inside. Passing by the frozen people in the lobby, she rides an elevator up and up, all the way to the top floor, but it’s not high enough. Then Haruna’s feet take her to a set of stairs leading to the roof. Blood pounding, she sprints up there next, feeling like she’s so close to what she’s looking for.
A windblown and rusty metal door greets her at the end of the steps.
Haruna pauses, she hesitates, not knowing what she’ll find. Her heart beats hard and she swallows thickly. The uncertainty weighs her down and she can’t lift her hand to turn the doorknob. But when has that ever stopped her before? And not knowing the answer to her question won’t stop her now.
The heavy metal door opens with a creak, and the sunlight blinds her for a split second before her eyes adjust and focus on the back of a figure sitting near the ledge, which is where she heads only stopping a few feet away.
“Hey.” She says confidently this time, though slightly out of breath. Haruna has just ran through the entire city and up the last few flights of stairs, unsure and following something she doesn’t even understand, to find the cause of something she doesn’t understand, and for a reason she doesn’t understand. Nothing is going to stop her.
Because she likes this person, and if the pauses were all for her, then Haruna has her confirmation that they like her too. Hopefully.
The figure stands up and turns around, dusting off her clothes and the first thing that catches Haruna’s attention is the smile – wide and happy with dimples to accent it. Then Haruna knows that it’s a girl, she’s short, and also beautiful.
“Hey~ I’ve been waiting.”
The voice causes another twinge in Haruna’s chest. And she’s suddenly hit with the realization of what she’s been following this entire time. That indescribable sensation of comfort that feels just right...
Haruna has been following her heart all along.