Dear Friends,
Thank you for reading my last fic. An extra thanks for you who left a comment
@Kairi65: There, there... Please don't cry... If you cried over that last fic, I don't know how you would react to this one *chuckle*
@Yuki88: Thank you! I like the theme as well. And I am curious to know what suppose to come after that "or..." *chuckle*
It's been about a week and a half since my last post in this thread. So, here you go. I present you with a longer fic this time. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing the story
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MIDNIGHT RIDES
We met for the first time on a Saturday night. It was around midnight and I just decided to extend my shift a bit since I knew that sleep would not come to me before dawn. You were just walking out of the back entrance of a posh apartment complex. You had a long coat and a mask on. Your short brown hair was blown by the wind. After looking here and there, you raised your hand, signaling me to drive your way. I made a stop right in front of you and you immediately opened the door before letting yourself in. You mentioned an address and I just gave an affirmative answer, letting you know that I knew where you wanted to go. Then, you stayed silent for the rest of the way. I needed to check the rear-view mirror a few times just to make sure that you were still there, sitting at the back seat. When we arrived at your destination, you gave me more money than necessary. I said my thanks, but you didn’t say anything. You just walked straight to the building’s back entrance. It was another posh apartment complex.
The second time we met, I was driving near a TV station. It was a Wednesday night, a few days after our first encounter. I was hoping to get some passengers before midnight since I only got a few in the afternoon. Then, there you were, waving on the side of the street, giving me a signal to stop. You were wearing the same long coat and a mask like before and—somehow—I just knew it was you. So, I stopped right in front of you. Just like before, you immediately opened the door and sat at the back in silent. The only time you said a word was when you mentioned your destination—the apartment complex from which I picked you up last Saturday. When we arrived at your destination, once again, you paid more than necessary. I wanted to say thank you, but you were already gone.
The third time we met was on the following Sunday morning. It was around 3 A.M. and I was just driving aimlessly—didn’t really have anything to do since I still had trouble sleeping. I was passing that other apartment complex where you got off last Saturday night when I saw you walking out of the back entrance. You didn’t even need to call me this time. Right when you’re about to reach the side of the street, I drove slowly and stopped right in front of you. I caught you off guard—fear was written all over your face. But, that fear quickly faded away as I popped my head out of the front window and asked if you need a taxi cab. You didn’t reply. You just opened the door and got in, sitting on the back seat. However, this time you were not completely silent.
“This is not the first time I ride this cab.”
It was not a question, just a simple statement. But, I answered anyway.
“Yes, Ma’am.”
I asked where I should take you. You mentioned the name of that apartment complex I assumed to be the place where you lived. I took you there in silence—just the way you were during the rest of the ride. When we reached your destination, again, you gave me more payment than necessary. I started to think of you as my favorite passenger.
The fourth time we met, you recognized me right away. Well, it was probably not me that you recognized. It’s probably just the number of the taxi cab or the tiny cat stickers that were visible on the back windows. Whatever that was, you sure did recognize me that Saturday night although it was almost midnight.
“It’s you again.”
It was another statement. There was no indication whether you were glad or annoyed to see me again. So, I answered it in similar manner.
“Yes, Ma’am.”
You immediately let yourself in and sat on the back seat. You mentioned that other apartment complex even before I asked where your destination was. So, I simply drove accordingly.
“Do you still work around 3 A.M.?” you suddenly asked when you handed me the payment.
I actually didn’t work that late—I was just driving aimlessly when I picked you up around that hour a few days ago. But, you were my favorite passenger—the one who never complained and always paid more. So, I said yes.
“If you’re not driving another passenger, please pick me up at that hour.”
I nodded. At least, now I had an excuse to stay awake. An excuse other than my sleeping problems.
But, I didn’t know it was going to be a regular thing. Starting that night, at least twice a week, around midnight, I would drive you to that other apartment. Then, around 3 A.M., I picked you up, taking you back to your place. We didn’t exchange any contact details. You just told me when I should pick you up next as we arrived at your apartment complex. I never asked. I just did as told.
“Did you tell anyone that you’ve been picking me up?”
You suddenly asked on our 23th ride.
“No,” was my answer. But, then, I thought about the question again and said, “Should I?”
“No,” was your answer.
Then, for the first time, you smiled. You had been taking your mask off during the last few rides. So, I could see the way your lips were stretched upwards from the rear-view mirror. There were a couple dimples on your cheeks. I thought that they were really cute. I wished you would smile more often.
But, then, that day came. The day when you seemed very upset when I picked you up from that other apartment complex. It was our 36th ride and I had never seen that kind of expression on your face before. You seemed like you were really mad, that you wanted to scream in rage. But, at the same time, you seemed like you were on the verge of crying your heart out. I would rather see the cold and distant expression you had on our first few rides than this—I wanted to tell you that. But, you stayed silent for the rest of our ride, just looking out of the window, drown in your thoughts. So, I kept my mouth shut. It might be better if you just let the tears out. At least, then, I would be able to accompany you until you’re done so you don’t have to be alone in your sorrow later on.
When we arrived at your apartment complex, you didn’t move. We both stayed seated in silence for a few minutes. You might need some time to calm the storm inside you and I didn’t want to disturb that process.
“Take me somewhere else,” you suddenly said.
“Where do you want to go, Ma’am?” was my response.
“Anywhere is fine.”
I didn’t ask further. I just started the car again and drove away. Right after we left your apartment complex, I turned the taximeter off. It would be a long ride and I didn’t want you to pay for trying to escape from your pain. I would just think of it as my treat—after all, you had always paid me more all this time.
Even after almost two hours ride, you didn’t even ask where we were going. I didn’t know whether you really trusted me that much or you just too deep in your own world. Even when I pulled a stop at the seaside, you didn’t move or say a word. When I heard you started sobbing, I immediately took my handkerchief out and held it out to you.
I got out of the cab after you took the handkerchief from me. You seemed like someone who didn’t really like to show your tears to others. So, I wanted to give you some space and time to let your feelings out.
I leaned on the cab while facing the sea. The cold autumn wind was blowing like crazy. I was glad to have a thermos filled with warm tea with me at that time.
When you decided to come out of the cab, I offered you a cup. You took it and sipped the warm tea in silence. Your eyes were so puffy, but at least you seemed calmer somehow.
“Feeling better?” I asked, trying to offer you my best smile.
You looked at me for a second before you lowered your gaze and muttered a, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
I noticed that you were shaking. I didn’t know whether that was from the sorrow that overcame you or because of the wind. But, I took my jacket out of the front passenger seat and draped it over your long coat. Once again, you thanked me.
“You know,” I said, “In a few minutes, we can see the sunrise from this beach. Is it okay if we stayed a little bit more?”
You didn’t say a thing. You just nodded in response. But, when the sun started to rise and the color of the horizon changed, I think I could see your eyes full of wonder.
“I always love the dawn and the sunrise,” I said, “They always remind me that, no matter how dark the night is, it will eventually end as the morning light will cast the darkness away.”
We stood there for a few more seconds. Then I put the thermos away and started to get ready to drive back.
“Let’s go?” I asked.
You didn’t say anything. But, when I opened the driver seat’s door, I felt a tug on my left hand. I looked at you with a questioning smile.
“I don’t want to go home…,” you said, swallowing a sob, “I don’t want…to be alone…”
You looked so vulnerable. You couldn’t even look me in the eyes as you said those words. It must have not been easy for you to admit that. I gave your hand a little squeeze so you would look at me.
“Well, you are not alone right now, are you?” I smiled.
I used our joined hands to guide you to the other side of the cab. Then, I opened the door to the front passenger seat, motioning for you get in. When you were settled there, I walked around and took my place at the driver seat. As I started the car, I took a glance your way. Ah, I really wanted to hold you then—wanted to tell you that everything’s going to be all right.
Since you said that you didn’t want to be alone in your home, I did the only thing I could think of—I took you to my place. It was a small flat, nothing like your apartment. Most of the residence of my building had been awake at that time. Some of them greeted me as I slowly parked the cab on its usual spot while you put your mask and a pair of glasses on.
We took the stairs to reach the third floor. Then I took my keys out to open the door, the third one on the left side of the stairs. You were mumbling a “
Shitsureishimasu” as we entered.
Come to think of it, small was an understatement. My flat was cramped. Other than the bed, a small low table, and a couple of book shelves, I barely had any space to put anything else. The bathroom and the kitchen area were also cramped--but, at least, I had them.
“You don’t even own a TV.”
Not a question, but I replied anyway.
“I don’t really have the time to watch anything,” I chuckled, “So, I don’t think I need it.”
I took your long coat off and hang it on a hanger behind the door. I let you know that you were free to use the bed—I would just spread some blankets on the floor for myself later on. Then, I went to take a shower.
When I was done brushing my teeth, I looked at my own reflection in the mirror above the sink—wondering whether taking you home was the right decision. We’re strangers after all. The 36 rides we shared couldn’t change that fact. Or… could they?
I put my pajama on and went out of the bathroom. You were sitting on the edge of the bed—seemed lost and were unsure on what to do. I took a white T-shirt and a pair of shorts out, offering them to you as a change of clothes.
“You may also take a shower if you want,” I said as I held the clothes out to you.
But, you took both of my hands instead, holding them tight. I smiled and took a seat next to you. Slowly, I took your glasses and your mask off, putting them on the table.
“Get some rest, okay?” I said.
I moved to spread a blanket and took my place on the floor. But, you held onto the back of my shirt, stopping me from any movement. I was just about to ask what was wrong when you started sobbing again.
“Don’t…leave me…”
I stood there for a while, letting you cry onto the back of my shirt. Then, I turned around and sat on the floor in front of you. Tears were still streaming down your face. I wiped them away with my fingers.
“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
You looked at me with your teary eyes. I didn’t know who started it, but, then we shared a kiss. As I kissed you back, I wondered whether it was okay to do that. But, I didn’t want you to feel rejected and—truth be told—I had been wanting to hold you and kiss away your sorrow since I picked you up from that apartment complex. So, when the kiss progressed into something more, I didn’t do anything to stop it from happening.
I knew it wasn’t me in your mind that morning. I knew it wasn’t my name on the tip of your tongue, not my name that you wanted to call as you came. After all, even after all those midnight rides, we still hadn’t known each other’s name. But, I don’t care. The only thing on my mind at that time was that I wanted to give you as much pleasure as I could. I wanted to let you know that you were not alone. I tried to let you know that you were wanted.
Since when did I care about you this much? Was it the rides we shared? Or was it the sorrow that was evident in your eyes? I didn’t even know. All I knew was that I wanted to ease all your pain. So, I hold you in my arms until we both fell asleep.
It was already late in the afternoon when I opened my eyes. You were nowhere to be seen. I got up from the bed, covering my nakedness with the blanket as I saw that change of clothes I wanted to lend you was folded on the table. What I found next to it left me with shame and humiliation.
A ‘thank you’ was written on a piece of paper. Right next to it was a big sum of money. I took the money and counted it. Even if I turned the taximeter on last night, the fare would be covered by only one tenth of what you left me. I screamed in frustration as I threw the money to the floor, letting it scattered everywhere. Then, I sat down and cried.
I was not a sex worker. I was only a taxi driver who came to like you. I cared about you—probably even more than thought I did. I wanted to comfort you, wanted to make all your pain go away. So, I let you to use me—to use my body as you were hoping to do it with someone else. I was poor. But… I. Am. Not. A prostitute.
I cried and cried until the dusk came. Then, I went to wash myself, getting ready to start my shift a few hours late. Before I left my flat, I picked all the money that was scattered. I thought, if I saw you again that night, I would make it clear that I didn’t want any of your money.
But, I didn’t see you that night. Or the night after. Or even many nights after that. Granted, you didn’t leave any message, saying when or where I should pick you up next. But, I thought, driving around your apartment complex or the other one a few times a night would make me run into you eventually. However, even after a few months of being some kind of a stalker, I didn’t see you at all.
That was when I started to regret not knowing your contact details. That was the time when I regret not knowing anything about you. How could I find someone whose name I didn’t even know?
On the sixth months after your disappearance, I started to let everything go. I put the money you left in a box of memorabilia I kept deep in my drawer. I stopped driving around the places I ever took you. I started to make some friends. I forced myself to sleep at midnight with the help of some sleeping pills—trying to form a different sleeping habit so I could spend more times with other people and not just locking myself in my room after each shift. When I could manage to sleep and wake up early, I asked to be placed in the morning shift instead of the evening one. I had stopped waiting for the sun to rise.
“Done with your shift, Yui?” Rie, one of my neighbors, asked as I parked my cab on its usual spot that afternoon.
I nodded and smiled in reply.
“Why don’t you come in? I want to surprise Sasshi with a nice dinner tonight and I need a taste tester,” she said, grinning while showing the paper bags full of groceries in her hands.
I chuckled at her offer as I get out of my cab. I took one of the paper bags from her and followed her into the second door on the right side of the second floor. When we arrived at her and Sasshi’s place, she asked me to take a seat and wait as she prepared the dinner. I was just about to sit on the carpet when a tabloid on the low table caught my eyes.
“Rie, is this yours?” I asked, wanting to gain permission to take it.
Rie took a peek from the kitchen area before saying, “Oh, it’s one of Sasshi’s old tabloids. You know, she loves reading gossips about idols and stuff. You can read it if you want.”
I didn’t even wait for her to finish her sentence as I had already started to read the front page.
SHIMAZAKI HARUKA WAS SEEN AT A MATERNITY WARD IN A SAITAMA HOSPITAL.
A TRUSTWORTHY SOURCE SAID THAT SHE LEFT THE COUNTRY TO HIDE HER PREGNANCY.The headlines were printed in bold letters along with a torso picture of you in a white dress and a small black and white picture of you in a hospital.
Finally, I found you. Finally, I knew your name. Finally,…I found a possible reason behind your sudden disappearance.
But, I was six month late. If I knew all about it sooner… If I knew…
What exactly could I do if I had known about it sooner? What could a poor taxi driver do for a superstar like you? I felt even more frustrated after I learned more about you. I let out a wry laugh.
“Yui? Are you okay?” asked Rie, concerned.
I gave her a smile and a nod, trying to let her know that I was okay—even though I didn’t feel okay at all.
Perhaps, it was time. It was the time for me to let go of you completely. After all, you had long gone, vanished into thin air. Even if you were back into my life, there was nothing I could do for you. Yes. Perhaps, it was time for me to forget about that night and all those midnight rides we shared.
THE END.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
End note: I know I put a "The End" up there. But, I wonder if I should just continue this story...?
Topic: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions [Chapter Update: ML Final Chapter-Nov 22, 2022] (Read 57283 times)