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Author Topic: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #8 For a Flight (YuiParu)  (Read 22839 times)

Offline junchan48

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Re: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #4 Not a Choice (WMatsui)
« Reply #20 on: April 02, 2016, 10:55:59 AM »
Of course!
Who wouldn't be gay for Rena??? Lol
This just...great! Really.
Now I need more~
A sequel, maybe~ Or the story from Rena's side~ XD

Thanks for this fluffy fic anyway^o^
Gonna wait your next work, Keiyuu-san!^o^/
Newbie. Yoroshiku Oneigashimasu ^^

Offline Raizel

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Re: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #4 Not a Choice (WMatsui)
« Reply #21 on: April 02, 2016, 12:47:09 PM »
Keiyuu-san.. finally you make a wmatsui OS..  :fap
That was so real. The two opposite character that drawn to each other. :inlove:
I really miss their moment. :cry:
Thank you. it's beautifull..  :thumbsup

Offline Ruka Kikuchi

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Re: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #4 Not a Choice (WMatsui)
« Reply #22 on: April 02, 2016, 02:18:54 PM »
Who WOULDN'T be gay for Rena? My thoughts, exactly. X3

I love this. It's so cute!

:heart: l Completed: Fire and Ice l Black Chocolate l My eternal blue rose l Dishonored l The Black Rose l Fruits of a Rose l Remnants l :heart:
:heart: l Dropped: Tentomu chu l REBORN l Bite me l NMB Gakuen l YumeToki l Cafe 48 l :heart: l Hiatus/Indefinite: Samurai l Blood Bonds l Night Wind's Deed l PRISM l Time Travelers l :heart:
:heart: l Collab threads: Sky&Ruka l Ruka&Michael l :heart:
 l Compilation thread: 48G New Gen l :heart:


Offline sasshirie

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Re: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #4 Not a Choice (WMatsui)
« Reply #23 on: April 05, 2016, 11:37:20 PM »
love your writing style!

Offline MisakiShishido

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Re: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #4 Not a Choice (WMatsui)
« Reply #24 on: April 11, 2016, 04:48:50 PM »
Heya Keiyuu, my buddy~  :lol: Sorry to have kept ya waiting~

I seriously think you should rename your fic to STALKER just because *shot'd*  :lol: Just kidding. But really. Jurina pls. But at least a certain R had also noticed her. Then again, your fic could also be named SENPAI NOTICE ME X'D *shot'd* I should stop being ridiculous  :lol:

The three word adjective writing style was really intriguing, especially when it's related to the whole fic. *v* You described everything so darn well I was like "hnnnnnghhhh"-ing as I read xD Missed these feels :') This fic was just so sweet (in a stalkerish way :P) that I could get diabetes!  :lol:

So I really thank you for writing this OS!  :thumbsup


Offline Keiyuu

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Re: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #5 Upside Down (WMatsui) - Part I
« Reply #25 on: June 16, 2016, 07:01:32 PM »
This is a little two-shot that I wrote a while back but never posted. Anyways, enjoy~

Upside Down (WMatsui)

Part I

“I’m leaving.”


What does she mean by that? She can’t just up and leave. Who does she think she is? Ruining my life and then leaving me alone all of a sudden. It’s not that simple. No, she can’t, not like this. She’s always been there for as long as I could remember. Sure, the last few years were like a roller coaster through hell but she’s ALWAYS BEEN THERE. Now she wants to get out of my life permanently? What the hell is she thinking?

I took a deep breath and swallowed thickly before saying anything else. “You can’t just say you’re leaving like that. It’s not that easy.”

She shrugged. Damn I hated when she pretended to be all indifferent and cool. “I don’t know how else to tell you this, but by this time tomorrow, I’ll be long gone.”

“What do you mean? Are you moving? Dying? Which is it?” I asked, exasperated with her riddles already.

She always did this to me. I could never have a proper conversation with her. Talking to her made me feel like I was an idiot, and that she knew everything there was to know about the world and how it worked. Ever since we were little, she was always better than me. I didn’t care as much then, but now whenever we spoke, which was few and far between, it made me angry. I just couldn’t deal with her. Everyone and anyone else, I got along with just fine, even the really annoying or stupid ones, but not her. Something about her just got on my nerves.

She got to me like no one else could.

“What does it matter? I just came to tell you that you won’t have to see my face anymore after this, and I seem to recall you calling that a blessing. It doesn’t matter where I’m going, just know that I’ll be gone, FOREVER. So don’t worry about it, I won’t bother you or get in your way ever again. Have a nice life.” And with that, she left. Her hands stuck in her jacket pockets and sneakers splashing through the puddles out on the street.

I was left standing in the doorway on my front porch, watching her back as her silhouette got smaller and hazier the farther she went. The rain was heavy and blurring anything past a 5 meter radius, but I noticed that she didn’t bring an umbrella and her jacket was definitely not waterproof. She was soaked to the bone, clothes damp and short hair matted down, but it didn’t seem to bother her in the slightest. I really don’t understand her at all, I never could, nothing she did or said made any sense to me. It was like the world’s biggest mystery that I couldn’t even hope to begin solving.

I’ve known her since I first opened my eyes as a baby in the nursery. Newborns were placed in alphabetical order and she was right next to me since we had the same last name - Matsui. I also remember playing with her as a kid. Back then everything was okay - it was good even. Our parents were good friends and we were enrolled in the same preschool, which was really more of a day care. We were always together, the best of friends, doing everything side by side even though we were complete opposites.

I was the shy one, pale and keeping to myself. I hated sports and people said I was like a sleeping beauty since I preferred to take naps during recess. Then there was Jurina. She was outgoing, energetic and shone with the power of ten suns. She was athletic too, like a puppy and everyone found her just as cute as one. Recess was the only time that we weren’t together, I’d be taking a nap or talking with the other girls, and she’d go play with the guys. Jurina always found gossip and sitting around boring, but maybe that was one of her charm points that got people to like her.

Once we hit middle school, things started changing. Jurina became even more popular, with the guys and the girls. She cut her hair too, so that it was just past her shoulders. The style fit her, I’ll admit that, and it reinforced the notion of her tomboy personality. She made friends easy, too easy. I, on the other hand, found it way too hard. Nobody wanted to approach me, the loner, and really I was too shy to approach them. There were only a select few that I ever talked to, and I did become good friends with them, but compared to Jurina, I was like a single star in a vast universe which really wasn’t a worthy comparison at all.

Things only went downhill from there. The girl that used to hold my hand as we walked home together, the one that would sit with me at lunch and hold a one-sided conversation, the one that always approached me when no one else would, suddenly stopped doing all those things. I think she just got tired of me. I wasn’t worth all the trouble, that’s what I figured had happened.

I used to like Jurina, a lot, more than I should have. But how else did you expect me to feel? If you were always alone and fighting the world, and someone opened up to you and didn’t care that you were different or unpopular, how would meeting someone like that make you feel? Like one in a million. I was a loser, I knew that, and if society were to label me, and they did, then they’d say the same.

Jurina was different though, she was special. She kept her relations with me even when others called me lame, and by association so was she. But she didn’t care and that’s what I loved about her. She made me feel like I was worth something, not just a wallflower that kept to herself all the time.

But now I think of it as puppy love. I mean, I liked Jurina, I aspired to be like her. She was all I ever wanted to be, but that didn’t really mean that I was in love with her. It was a crush, simple as that, and it wouldn’t last. And it definitely didn’t once high school got started.

That’s when everything really changed. A complete flip. Everything I knew, or thought I knew about her, flipped upside down. She became nasty, one of those girls that was always surrounded by her clique. Flirting with everyone like it was the most casual thing in the world—even if it hurt others most of the time. Arrogant and cocky, always having that smug grin on her face because she knew people liked her. There was this one time though, when I saw her smug expression falter when she saw me watching her flirt with an underclassman.

I don’t believe that’s true though, must’ve just been my imagination because Jurina soon became the one type of person that I despised the most. And she stopped talking to me completely. I expected it, like I knew it was too good to be true. Those years I spent with her must’ve been just a dream, a figment of my imagination, I mean when you were smart, athletic, and as popular as Jurina, why would you bother with someone like me?

We became what I had dreaded most. She ignored me, that hurt, and I fell into a kind of depression. It was even worse when her so called ‘friends’ taunted me, making fun of our previous relationship, and Jurina didn’t do anything about it. She never said anything to defend me, but at least she didn’t really do anything to hurt me.

She just...stayed away.

Last year though - our third and final year of high school - she started picking on me. The other girls had started pushing me around before Jurina stepped in to do it herself. Guess that’s what it means by being top of the food chain. At least it kept the other bullies away though. And by this time, I was already plenty used to it. Jurina couldn’t do much more to hurt me than she already had. The sting of betrayal and those bleeding open wounds had turned into a dull throb. Nothing could get to me. I had built up a wall to keep myself safe, protected, since Jurina was no longer there to do it for me.

Whatever I used to think of her was safely locked away in the very corners of my heart and mind. Chained up and the key thrown away, I’d keep it there, never to open it up again for as long as I lived.

After standing in the doorway for a good long time like an idiot, I grabbed my coat and headed for the nearby park. The rain had stopped, drizzling for a bit before the sun decided to come out from behind the clouds. You’d think that it’d be some kind of sign, an analogy for how I was feeling, but I was confused.

I was mad that Jurina had just now decided to tell me this. Why now? She gave me no time to prepare whatsoever. Her constant presence was about to vanish completely and I didn’t know how to cope with it. I was also sad, I’d miss her, I’d miss her playful teasing and god awful puns she used to make when we were younger. I’d miss her Cheshire grin and her tight hugs, heck I’d even miss her horrible way of treating me for the last couple years. The one thing I didn’t feel though, was happiness.

I thought I’d be glad when she finally got out of my life. I used to say that to her when she approached me in the hallway. She stopped doing that too though, since I kept causing a scene. So I guess she didn't completely cut me off. Maybe it was just me that actually ended our relationship.

Thinking back on it, it was really childish and unfair of me. She’d tried to talk to me when her friends weren’t around, but I was a wounded animal that was backed into a corner. And I’d bite. It was the only time I’d ever gotten really angry and I wanted to hurt her back for all the pain she caused me. I shouted some pretty nasty things that I wished I could take back.

It didn’t really hit me until now though, how much I depended on her.

What am I going to do now that she’s gone?

I reached the park in less than 10 minutes, sitting on one of the swings in the playground area. It was the place where I had the best memories with Jurina. We played here a lot, chasing each other around during tag or make castles in the sand. I thought back to those days and I hadn’t even realized it yet, but my cheeks were wet. I’d started crying.

Not the loud racking sobs or the hysterical half-laughing kind, but the silent tears. My emotions had crept up on me and I let the drops flow freely down my face. There was no point in wiping them, more would just keep coming and replace the fallen ones.

I threw my head back and stared at the sky, watching the clouds roll lazily past. I’m not sure how long I sat there, but it started getting really cold and I took it as my cue to start heading home. Heaving a deep sigh, I got up and started walking away, already trying to forget about my childhood friend.

Out of the corner of my eye, something in the sandbox caught my attention and I wandered over. The sandbox used to be one of our favorite places to play in the park, the thought made me smile nostalgically. I forgot about everything for a bit as my eyes fixated on the writing in the sand. It was a whole novel by the looks of it - someone must’ve spent a lot of time trying to carve it into the grains.

Then I started reading.

Forgive me
I hate you
I didn’t mean it when I said that
You’re cute
Because I found that when I took a closer look,
You’re just a loser
So don’t believe that
I felt the same way,
To hurt you
Made me happy
I swear that it never
Was real and genuine,
I’ll tell you this now that
I was only playing with your feelings but
You thought
I loved you
Even when we were younger
I’m sorry

What the hell. WHAT THE HELL IS SHE TRYING TO DO?! I spent all this time thinking about how sad it was that she’s leaving but no, Jurina just had to go and leave me with one last piece of misery. WELL FUCK HER! I actually thought that she was my friend! God I feel like an idiot! I’m fuming, beyond angry. I swear I’m going to hunt her down and make her suffer. Really just, why?! I thought I might’ve been wrong about her but that’s what I get. What she did to me, I can’t forgive her, never.

Okay calm down. I tried to take a deep breath and think about this. For some reason, I still thought that this was just some kind of sick joke, that maybe, deep down, Jurina was still trustworthy. But maybe it was just me getting my hopes up.

That's how I felt though, if I was being honest with myself.

Postponing my trip home since my mom would figure out something was wrong the minute I stepped in the door, I opted to do some monkey bars. I hated monkey bars, they always hurt my hands and gave me blisters. But they were there, and maybe a different kind of pain could take my mind off it all. In the end I could only go a couple of bars before dropping onto the ground. Pitiful, I know.

One thing I did like though, was to hang upside down. I’d hook my legs on the bars and fall back, all the blood rushed to my head but I still liked doing it. Dangling there, my thoughts wandered back to Jurina again. That message in the sand...something was off. The way it was written was weird and choppy and didn’t really sound like Jurina at all.

My knees were starting to hurt from hanging there. Wait. I was hanging...upside down.

In other words - from bottom to top.

I swung off the bar and rushed back over to the sand pit to confirm my suspicions. Reading from the bottom up this time, the message had a whole new meaning.

I’m sorry, even when we were younger, I loved you. You thought I was only playing with your feelings but I’ll tell you this now - that was real and genuine. I swear that it never made me happy to hurt you. I felt the same way. So don’t believe that you’re just a loser because I found that when I took a closer look, you’re cute. I didn’t mean it when I said that I hate you. Forgive me, Rena.

My hand covered my mouth as I read it again and again, seeing if the words would change. But they didn’t. I started sobbing, full on crying my eyes out as I collapsed to my knees. I couldn’t believe it. Just that one paragraph...had opened up the box that I had so carefully locked away. Everything came back in a rush, my head was a mess and I couldn’t think straight.

Damn Jurina and her stupid riddles.

Why couldn’t she have just been straightforward? I’d even prefer one her old man puns over this now. I couldn’t really bring myself to be that mad at her though. I was actually angry at myself for doubting her. That’s it, I decided that I’d had enough - I knew what I had to do.

I searched through my contacts, praying that her name would be there. It’d been so long that I wasn’t even sure if it was there anymore, or if her number had changed. I had probably deleted it. But sure enough, right under the J section, it was there.

The call went through after a couple rings and I heard her voice.

“Hello?” It was her, her voice, though somewhat hoarse and scratchy, it was still her.

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing would come out. It struck me that I was still crying like a baby. I covered my mouth again to muffle the sounds but I was certain that she still heard me.

“Rena-chan? Is that you? Why are you calling me?” Jurina sounded skeptical and she really had every right to be. It’d been forever since I even spoke to her or spared her a glance so why would I call now? Well maybe it’s because she just left me a freaking confession in the form of a damn riddle!

“J...” Wow who sounded hoarse now? I cursed myself for being such a crybaby. I half-expected her to be all cold and distant again. But she wasn’t. She was talking to me just like she used to, like nothing had ever happened between us. I almost believed it too.

“It’s been awhile since you called me that, Rena-chan~”

I could hear Jurina giggling, but it sounded weak.

“I guess you found my message then? I was hoping that you would but you’re too soon!” She whined. “I didn’t want you to see it until tomorrow or later. I didn’t think you’d figure it out so quickly either! Rena-chan sure is smart~”

“Cut the crap out.” Her attempt at sounding lighthearted was pissing me off, which might’ve actually been a good thing since the adrenaline kept me going as I found my voice again. “Where are you now?”

“Umm...In the building on the corner of 48th street?” Jurina sounded unsure, as if she didn't want to tell me. “But you don’t have to come! I just wanted leave you that message...that’s all...”

I sighed, Jurina could be such a kid sometimes. “I’ll be right there.”

She was about to protest but I cut her off, ending the call right then. I rubbed my forehead in an attempt to get rid of the migraine that was forming. Why...why did she think it’d be okay to leave that message? Why didn’t she tell me face to face? And why didn’t she tell me sooner? Why did she treat me like that if she really meant what she wrote? Why?

All these questions ran through my head endlessly as I sprinted towards the address. But really there was one main question that I really wanted to ask, and it was directed at myself, not her.

Why do I still love her so much?

Even after everything she put me through...

I knew exactly which building she was talking about, it could only be that one, and I reached it after about 20 minutes of full out sprinting. I swear I’ve never run that much in my life. But that’s what she did to me. I never understood her actions and now her absurdity was starting to affect me as well.

I was only kidding when I asked her where she was going. Those two options to choose from...I never wanted either of them to come true. And she just had to choose the latter.

I was panting hard as I asked the receptionist what room she was in. The elevator was broken so I had to take the stairs, god she’s going to pay for making me do so much exercise. That thought kept me going up four flights of stairs and down the hallway to her room.

Matsui Jurina was what it said on the sign outside the door. My heart plummeted when I saw that. But now isn’t the time to dwell on it.

Gathering up my remaining courage, I slid open the door and was finally met with the person I was looking for.

“Hey~” Jurina greeted me from the bed, back propped up against the headboard. She was wearing a white gown and had an IV attached to her wrist. Taking in the surroundings, I found that everything was white. White sheets on the bed, white walls, white ceiling, white fluorescent lights. And her complexion...was white as well. Pale as a ghost.

“Hey.” I mustered up a small smile as she patted the space beside her on the bed. That small gesture gave me a small surge of absurd happiness. I scooted in next to her and she lifted up the covers so that it was over both of us. We sat for a few seconds, shoulders touching and just taking in the situation. Until I absentmindedly remarked, “It’s been forever since I shared a bed with you.”

Jurina giggled and grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers lightly. “It’s been forever since I held your hand like this too~”

I blushed but tightened my grip on her hand. I didn’t want to let go, not now not ever. So we settled into a comfortable stillness. I had things to say, but I didn’t want to ruin the moment. And I think she felt the same way.

“I’m sorry.” She finally broke the silence.

“You should be.”

“Eh?” She stared at me with wide eyes before breaking out into her signature Cheshire grin. “Mou Rena-chan~ You’re so mean~”

I scoffed, “I’m mean? You’re the one that’s been treating me like shit for the last 3 years.”

She seem to deflate at this, if she had puppy ears then they’d be drooping right about now. “I know. And I don’t have any excuse for it.”

“...Why? Why did you do it?”

“I just...I needed to push you away...”

“I can see that.” I rolled my eyes.

“No I was better that way.”

“Better how?” I was starting to get mad. How does she know what’s best for me? “And how did you think that distancing yourself was the best solution? Answer me that.”

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. My eyes caught on the IV still stuck in her wrist and my chest tightened. “I don’t know. I was stupid. It probably wasn’t the best decision I ever made.”

“You’re damn right it wasn’t.”

Jurina chuckled dryly and I kind of felt bad for saying that. I shouldn’t be so mean, not now.


“Hmm?” She looked at me expectantly.


Jurina gave me a small smile and it nearly broke my heart it was so sad. “Yeah, tomorrow.”

“And that’s it? There’s not even a chance?”

“Nope.” She shook her head, “They’ve tried everything, and I’m at my limit. It was really hard keeping it a secret you know~ You’re really hard to fool, Rena-chan~”

“Idiot...” My voice shook. Thinking back on it, there were so many signs that I never noticed. Or maybe I did but I just didn’t care. In any case it was my fault, all my fault.

“Hey don’t blame yourself Rena-chan. It wasn’t your fault for not noticing. Like I said, I tried really hard to keep it from you.” It was weird how she always knew what I was thinking. I never knew what she was thinking though. Some friend I was.

“Hey...Jurina, did you...did you mean what you said?” It had been bothering too much to not ask right this moment.

“Eh? What did I say?”

I nearly facepalmed at her ignorance. “The message in the sand...”

“Oh.” Recognition lit up her face for a split second and her expression was really cute. “Yeah, I did.”

But I didn’t know what to say to that. I don’t even know why I asked if I couldn’t come up with an answer for her.

“Nee Rena-chan~ Remember how you deleted my number during our second year in high school?” Jurina asked, changing the subject.

“I did?” I frowned. “I don’t remember that.”

“Well you did and it made me really sad. And since I was so depressed, I stole your phone during P.E. to put my contact info back in there. You never even found out~”

“Eh?! STALKER! That’s creepy, Jurina!”

She laughed at my overreaction and it was a nice sound, like wind chimes in a pleasant summer breeze. I ended up laughing alongside her until my sides hurt and my lungs were burning with lack of air. But it was nice. It wasn’t even that funny but we kept laughing and laughing, all the previous caution and tension fading away. “Oh god...haha I can’t...breathe...”

“Hahaha~ This is nice~” Jurina smiled at me. Remember when I said that she had the power of ten suns? Well it was all directed at me in that one grin.

“What’s nice?”

“This.” She gestured to us sitting together on the bed, our sides pressed against each other so I could feel her giggling.

That’s when I smiled back, I mean really smiled back. I haven’t smiled genuinely for years, not since Jurina started avoiding me, but now I have a reason to again. “Yeah, it is~ Just like how it used to be.”

“Mmhmm~” She bobbed her head in agreement enthusiastically. The amount of energy she possessed never failed to amaze me, even at times like this. “Rena-chan?”


“Will you stay with me tonight?” Jurina’s eyes were hopeful and there was no way I could refuse. It’d be like kicking a puppy.

“Sure. Just like old times?”

“Just like old times~” She shot me a wide grin.

« Last Edit: June 19, 2016, 10:23:31 PM by Keiyuu »

Offline Minami-chan

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Re: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #5 Upside Down (WMatsui) - Part 1
« Reply #26 on: June 16, 2016, 11:11:16 PM »
Mixed feelings with this first chapter of fanfiction.
What happens to Jurina?

Offline Haruko

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Re: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #5 Upside Down (WMatsui) - Part 1
« Reply #27 on: June 17, 2016, 02:24:46 AM »
OMG.. My wmatsui feelings

Offline genkingblack

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Re: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #5 Upside Down (WMatsui) - Part 1
« Reply #28 on: June 17, 2016, 08:35:15 AM »
at first, I thought it was Jurina's POV. and It was Rena who is leaving...

The message in the sand is really good, I never expect that. when I first read like "WTH...." -___-

I really love how you describe Rena's feeling, gonna stay tune for next one XD
Thank you :)
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Offline iminlovewithakb

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Re: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #5 Upside Down (WMatsui) - Part 1
« Reply #29 on: June 17, 2016, 12:30:58 PM »
what will happen to jurina? is she going to die or just to another country to get treated?  :mon waterworks:
i'm stuck in yukirin's world.
寝ても覚めてもゆきりんワールド、夢中にさせちゃうぞ♪ ❤️

Offline purnamazaki

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Re: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #5 Upside Down (WMatsui) - Part 1
« Reply #30 on: June 17, 2016, 04:00:33 PM »
Huaaa i cant wait for part 2

Offline yocelin17

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Re: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #5 Upside Down (WMatsui) - Part 1
« Reply #31 on: June 17, 2016, 04:08:51 PM »
What happened with Jurina?

I will wait for the part 2
Usually a silent reader.

Sorry for my broken english, english is not my first language.

Kami-oshi: Kashiwagi Yuki

Offline junchan

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Re: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #5 Upside Down (WMatsui) - Part 1
« Reply #32 on: June 18, 2016, 12:02:42 AM »
Genius message, J. Lol
And what happened with Ju?
This fic sounds angst, and I'm not a fan of angst fic.
But well, this fic gonna be an exception.
I'm waiting for chapter 2!

Thanks for the fic, Kei-san!^o^/
I'm a hardshipper of many pair! lol

Offline key17

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Re: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #5 Upside Down (WMatsui) - Part 1
« Reply #33 on: June 18, 2016, 02:15:14 PM »
My feelings... :frustrated:

-sorry for my bad english, still learning with uncle Sae :hee:

Offline Keiyuu

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Re: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #5 Upside Down (WMatsui) - Part II
« Reply #34 on: June 19, 2016, 10:22:45 PM »
Hi's okay if you don't wanna read this...I mean if you want to know the ending then read on but it's a two shot for a reason...I didn't want to post it before but I thought this might be a good time considering WMatsui lately (or rather the lack of)...Please don't kill me I just wanted to try out this genre...

Wow so many comments that's so nice~ XD I love comments! And I guess a lot of people like WMatsui haha

@Minami-chan: You'll have to read to find out :P
@Haruko: Haha I guess that means I did a good job? :P
@buciq: Ah sorry I didn't make that real clear at first :nervous Thanks! I saw a poem like that before and decided to put it in a fic, and I tried to write it as if she was really in that situation and it's first person so lots of thought
@iminlovewithakb: Um read to find out? Oh and I saw your comment on an old story of mine so thanks for that too XD Glad you liked it~
@purnamazaki: Haha thanks :)
@yocelin17: Here's the answer to that and thanks for waitin~  :P
@junchan: Haha the message huh? Um angst...ah I don't really like it either but... :nervous Thanks for reading anyways though, glad it's an exception XD
@key17: Sorry? Haha...:nervous

But do explode on me if you want, I want to hear your guys' reactions :)

Alright since Misaki so kindly sent me this link for me to cry about lol, I'm adding it in here for some background music when ya read this.

Upside Down (WMatsui)

Part II

We talked a lot. It was like nothing else mattered. It didn’t matter that we hadn’t spoken for years already. It didn’t matter because it was like it didn’t even happen. We were back to our childhood, best friends that shared everything with each other.

There was only me, and her—in this room that felt separated from the entire outside world.

I ignored everything else. There was only Jurina in my eyes for those few hours. Those few hours that felt like an eternity and a few seconds at the same time. I couldn’t hear the buzzing of the lights anymore. The IV on her wrist disappeared. Her slightly hollower than healthy cheeks filled in. Even the gown that was too big on her turned into something else. The room was all white but somehow I saw all the colors of the rainbow.

Just for those few hours.

We laughed, conversed about everything that had happened right from the beginning—or at least as much as we could remember. I’d say something, then Jurina would go, “Oh! And remember when you...”

It was fun. We shared everything again, about our lives and thoughts, caught up on what happened when we weren’t in each other’s lives anymore.

She asked when I had even started cussing, briefly reminding me that I used to be the shy innocent type. I told her it probably started about when we got into high school, and she just remarked with this terribly pained, regretful expression. “I guess I missed that...I missed a lot huh.”

Her eyes told me that it wasn’t just those things that she missed, she missed me. And I missed her, more than I ever admitted to myself.

We tried lightening the mood after that, sticking to more jokes and easy topics. Like it was just some sleepover two normal teenage girls were having.

Jurina was so lively, just like the energetic kid I always knew. We talked about random things, things that didn’t even make any sense and laughed at the most unfunny comments the other made. We must’ve seemed high to anyone who could’ve walked in during our conversation, but it didn’t matter. And you know how at sleepovers, things tend to get pretty intense and personal?

Maybe it was because we knew that it would all come to an end soon, but we even talked about our deepest thoughts and feelings - ones that we had never said out loud before and didn’t even know existed until we spoke them.

I almost forgot.

But then Jurina started getting tired and it felt like reality came back to bite us in the rear. I just smiled, trying to keep it from looking painful, and told her we should go to sleep.

There was still one more thing I wanted to tell her though - something that I should’ve told her a long time ago. But she was tired, and it’d be selfish of me to keep her up any longer.

So I let her curl into my side, arms wrapping snugly around each other and drifting off into a peaceful sleep.

There’s still tomorrow after all.

I’ll tell her tomorrow. First thing in the morning when I get the chance.


“Rena-chan...” Jurina’s whisper woke me up.

“Hmm?” I suddenly remembered where I was – curled up in a hospital bed with Jurina. The lights were off so I could just barely make out the outline of her face. It seemed like dawn hadn’t even broken yet. “What’s wrong, Jurina?”

“I feel cold...”

My chest tightened and I tried to ignore it, just wrapping my arms around her as she snuggled closer. It was the best I could do.

“Just let me cuddle with you...just a little longer...”

I nodded, rubbing her arm reassuringly and she did feel cold to the touch. Her breathing was shallow too, but it didn’t really register until later - that she was really leaving for good. Her body felt so tiny in my arms and I’ve never seen her like this. Jurina was always bigger and stronger than me, but now her frame felt even skinnier than mine.

“Nee Rena...” Her use of my name without the honorific kind of startled me out of my thoughts. She never did that unless she was absolutely serious. Her voice was quiet, barely a whisper as she spoke. “...I’m sorry for everything I did...I regret it all...”

I sighed, “Jurina? Shouldn’t you rest?”

“I can’t rest until...I finish saying what I want to tell you...”

Then I couldn’t bring myself to stop her.

“...I found out about my illness when I was in middle school...The symptoms didn’t really register until later though...I wanted to tell you, I really did. But...I was scared.” Jurina seemed sleepy, her eyelids drooping as she took a shaky breath. “...So I pushed you away...and it was the biggest mistake of my life.”

“Jurina...please, just rest. You don’t have to apologize.”

But she continued, her voice light and somewhat musing. “I just...didn’t want you to get too attached to me...”

Too late for that.

“The little crybaby Rena that always depended on me to save her from the bullies~”

“I already forgave you, okay? Or really I don’t think I was ever mad at you in the first place—” I choked up a bit then, my emotions got the best of me and I unintentionally made little whimpering sounds. Pathetic, I know.

“There there...It’ll be alright...Everything will be just fine, Rena-chan...Don’t cry~”

I could hear the shakiness in her voice, like she was trying not to cry.

But Jurina just hugged me even closer and patted my head lightly. Here she was, trying to console me. And I was just being selfish. I had blocked her out, just to save myself from being hurt when she really needed me, so I don’t deserve her now.

Jurina always was the strong one, the happy one, the one who always protected me. She did this all for me. And what did I do? Let her suffer alone – that’s what I did.

God I’m so angry with myself.

“Stop it Jurina, just stop...” My eyes watered until my vision was so blurry I couldn’t even see her. “Stop trying to make light of the situation. You’re always so optimistic. It’s not funny.”

“Hehe sorry~ But one of us has to be the positive one...You’re always so negative Rena-chan~” She smiled up at me.

My eyes had adjusted to the darkness and I took in every feature of her face. Jurina had aged drastically, her face tired and her eyes had lost some of their mirth. She was pale, so pale, like a ghost in the darkness, and I almost looked away unable to bear it.

“So try to smile more, Rena-chan. For me.” Jurina smiled weakly, “Eat a crapton of melon pans and...never stop fangirling over anime. Because...that’s the Rena-chan I know and love. Don’t let anybody get you down. I’ll be watching so I can haunt them for you if they do~”

I nodded again, wanting to laugh at her cruel humor but my throat was constricted so it’d just come out as a rasp. But if it was this hard for me, how hard was it on her? Jurina always tried so hard. And for all this time, I didn’t know, I didn’t realize.

How much strength did it take just for her to keep talking? How much pain was she in? I never knew. I still don’t know.

But I should’ve known. I used to know her better than anyone, and I knew that she always liked to fight battles by herself just like this. But I was blinded by my own pain and selfishness so I didn’t see it. Guess Jurina’s not as big of a mystery as I thought.

We had talked a lot last night, but I still had more to say. Maybe they weren’t important things but I just wanted to spend more time with her, laugh about meaningless things, go out to eat together, just anything, anything at all.

If only I had realized this sooner.

“J-Jurina...Please...please don’t go...” I cried, letting the tears fall and burying my face in her shoulder. I couldn’t help but plea. But it was way too late. And there was nothing else I could do but plea.

Keep smiling? Be happy? Without her? That’s too hard. I’m not strong, not like her. I can’t. I can’t accept this.

“You’ll be fine...I promise.”

I couldn’t speak.

“You have to try...Rena...I know you can do it.”

I opened my mouth but nothing came out.

“I love you, Rena.” She said it. My eyes widened in shock as she smiled at me one last time, a tiny bit of spirit returning to her eyes. “I love you...more than anything...I’m so sorry for the way I treated you.”

Holding back my sobs and taking a shaky breath, I tried again. I tried to smile back, eyes brimming with tears. “You beat me to it.”

Jurina giggled quietly, eyes already half closed. “Sorry~ I know you’re trying your best.”

I tighted my arms, hugging her hard and pressing our bodies close, trying to get even closer. Maybe if I did that, it wouldn’t be so painful.

“Rena, you’ll be okay. Trust me, you are strong, a lot stronger than me... So just...please. When I’m gone, I want you to keep going.” Jurina sighed and laid her head down on my shoulder permanently, her hand falling to her side and that steady heartbeat gradually faded away, just like her constant presence in my life.

This is breaking my heart.

But I know I can’t be so negative all the time. I know at least that much. And now I know what I can do.

I have to move on.

It’s my turn to be strong for her.

Maybe it’s too late to get what I want, but I can at least give her what she wants.

I cup her cheek – it’s ice cold – and her eyelids flutter as I lean in, sealing our lips in a sweet kiss. It isn’t long, but it’s lasting, and I’m not saying goodbye. I will see her again someday, maybe not soon, but someday.

“...I love you, Jurina. I always have.” I smile, having always been taught to smile when people leave, because that’s the last thing they’ll remember you by. And I want Jurina to know that I’ll be okay without her.

I will keep on living even if it hurts, so she doesn’t have to worry.

So I say it again with more confidence. I want her to know how much I really mean it, because I really do. “I love you.”

Her eyes close then, but her smile grows ever so slightly and she looks so peaceful, so tranquil, like she has no regrets now. “I know...and hearing you say it...makes happy.”

And with that...she left.


Jurina always had the ability to change my life drastically. The day she told me that she hated me and to leave her alone – it was the absolute worst day of my life. Everything took a 360 degree turn and I thought I’d never be the same again, and I wasn’t.

It was my lowest point, or so I thought.

I always thought that it couldn’t get any worse when your childhood/best friend that you loved said she hated you and then got out of your life. Ultimately though, she was still there, just out of my reach. But boy did I have that wrong.

Now she really is out of reach.

I always had the chance before, the opportunity to stretch my arm out just a little farther, and I would’ve been able to catch her...but I didn’t. And now I can’t. She’s gone. Forever.

So now I know - the real meaning of having everything turned upside down.

« Last Edit: June 20, 2016, 06:14:19 PM by Keiyuu »

Offline junchan

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Re: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #5 Upside Down (WMatsui) - Part II
« Reply #35 on: June 20, 2016, 12:16:39 AM »
Juju just break the TOP 3 and you give me this heartbreaking fic?-,-
What the---!
I was crying, Kei-san!TOT
Its too sad TOT
You break my WMatsui heart TOT

I usually just skip the sad part, but thanks to my curiousity, I don't skip anything this time-,-
You have to post a very fluffy, much fluffier WMatsui fic to heal my heart-,-

Thanks for the fic, Kei-san!^o^/
Gonna wait your next works!
I'm a hardshipper of many pair! lol

Offline Minami-chan

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Re: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #5 Upside Down (WMatsui) - Part II
« Reply #36 on: June 20, 2016, 12:24:57 AM »
 :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Offline Haruko

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Re: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #5 Upside Down (WMatsui) - Part II
« Reply #37 on: June 20, 2016, 01:18:30 AM »
I really hope that J could recover for this... or maybe the last part is just a bad nightmare but well.. T_T

Offline MisakiShishido

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Re: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #5 Upside Down (WMatsui) - Part II
« Reply #38 on: June 20, 2016, 11:27:14 AM »
Woohoo Keiyuu-chan~ I should really start proclaiming you as my favourite author now 'cuz you can even bring back my dead feels for these two forever lovestruck idiots to life  :lol:

Been a while since I actually attempted reading fanfictions, and I should tell you, reading fics have been a challenge for me these couple of weeks. I just couldn't bring myself to read anything related to stories.

But your fic... I dunno... I thought I'd just end up skimming through or read a few words before apologizing to you on FB that I couldn't read it. In the end, I finished it while listening to that gosh darn OST in the background that I PM-ed you about and oh my gosh... I swear I felt a flicker of light in the WMatsui heart and author heart in me. This is the magic your fics do to me, and I'm not saying this just to say it and make you feel more awesome than you already are hahaha.

Personal overall feelings aside, regarding your fic now, that upside down message to Rena was a work of genius, Keiyuu-chan. Like seriously. How long did it take for you to come up with such an ingenious piece of confession??  :lol: I liked the ambiguity of the beginning of the first Chapter. It made me keep pondering if I'm reading this as Rena or Jurina, and before you revealed it to be Rena, I was actually reading the thing as Jurina  :lol: And then everything else hurt so much in a good way. Totally needed the angst yo, and this is real good piece of angst you've written bruh.

Anyways, keep it up with the awesomeness and feels bruh. I'll be supporting you as always  :)

Offline iminlovewithakb

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Re: [Keiyuu's OS Collection] OS #5 Upside Down (WMatsui) - Part II
« Reply #39 on: June 20, 2016, 01:59:16 PM »
 :frustrated: :frustrated:
i'm stuck in yukirin's world.
寝ても覚めてもゆきりんワールド、夢中にさせちゃうぞ♪ ❤️

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