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Author Topic: memoir [The End - 08/15]  (Read 101560 times)

Offline polidread

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Re: memoir [The End - 08/15]
« Reply #220 on: August 16, 2007, 01:14:53 AM »
Wow! a like a rocket! at one point i thought Miki was really gonna get kicked out!
awesome "Wham! Bam! Slam!" dialogue!

uh...
im still at the first chapter in this fanart,



but i imagined they'd have almost the same facial expressions near the end of your final chapter!
(when they finally hear each other say "I love you")
heheh! it really does make a full circle,
like all of those "how did we end up like this" phrases :)

magnifico!

Offline Kreuz_Asakura

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Re: memoir [The End - 08/15]
« Reply #221 on: August 16, 2007, 01:48:00 AM »
AHHHHHHH!!! a happy ending.  :luvluv1: :luvluv1: :luvluv1: :luvluv1:
For a moment a think it was going to be a sad ending, like they break up or something. Why I thing this? this is the reason:
Quote
I am seriously nervous about posting this part. I'm all "omg, they'll hate it. after all that build up, they'll be all '...ah.' "
Damn! you always confuse me :mon annoy:

Anyways, I like it a lot  :mon lovelaff: ...I can wait for that sequel :mon geek:

Offline JFC

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Re: memoir [The End - 08/15]
« Reply #222 on: August 16, 2007, 02:27:52 AM »
Quote
But FINALLY!
PART 18 COMING UP!

THE REAL END!

SERIOUSLY THIS TIME

...I APPARENTLY LIKE CAPS LOCK!
Oh girl, you so crazy.  :lol:


Quote
Anyway, I *am* working on the sequel. The Prologue and Part 1 are done. The Prologue is actually a scene from later in the storyline and then Part 1 picks up where memoir leaves off.
Make it a story where Maki looks for rabu-rabu! Make it so she falls for Nacchi (and vice versa)!  :love:


Quote
"What are you doing here?" Yossi demanded, striding over to Miki.

"I know I'm a late, but I messaged you about that last night," the confused girl replied.

"My phone died."

"What!?" Miki paled. "When?"

"Right after your charming little 'Trust me' message a few days ago," Yossi spat out. "One more mindfuck for the road, huh?"

"Wait, so you haven't gotten any..." Miki's eyes widened and she covered her open mouth with a shaking hand. "Yocchan, I - "

"Don't 'Yocchan' me. Get the hell out of my apartment."
This is the point where Miki needs to maintain her resolve. She now knows that Yossi didn't get the message she was supposed to get, therefore she doesn't know all of the details she needs to. Above all else, Miki needs to get Yossi to just listen to her and let her explain everything.


Quote
"No, no, it's not what you think!"

"Oh! So you weren't exposed in a national magazine for sleeping with a two-bit comedian?"
Ouch. Mind you, that IS how it was meant to be portrayed.


Quote
"No, you need to listen to me," Miki asserted calmly.

"Why? So you can lie to me some more? 'Trust me' my ass." Yossi shook her head. "I can't believe I had actually fallen in love with you," she muttered. Miki's eyes widened.

"What did you just say?" she whispered.

"I freaking love you, ok?" Yossi yelled. "Does that make this more fun for you or do you actually feel bad now?" she demanded angrily. Miki was elated and horrified and didn't know what to do anymore.
Did Yossi just tell Miki?

...

Whoa, Yossi just told Miki...

...


:o :o


Quote
I tried to trust you! I tried to say 'No, not Miki. She wouldn't do that to me. It's a mistake. The article lied!'" Yossi shook her head in disgust. "And then you admitted it! You ADMITTED it, Miki! How stupid are you?! You were free and clear and you admitted it! Did you feel guilty? Do you really think so much of yourself that you thought that no one would care?! What were you THINKING!? How could you DO THIS TO ME!?!" The blatant pain and anger etched across Yossi's normally calm features cut through Miki like a knife.
If only Yossi knew, that was part of the plan all along. When Miki and Mako formulated the plan, they must have know that it was possible that the company would be able to deny the pics, in which case they would need a "Plan B". That opportunity presented itself easily enough with Miki being on YanDo every week. Her goal was to get kicked out of the group, and nothing would/could ensure that better than if she admitted it herself on the air.


Quote
"You need to listen to me!" Miki protested.

"I think I've listened to your crap enough for one lifetime, Fujimoto!" Yossi raged, stalking over to her front door. "I want you to get the hell out of my apartment, do you understand!? Do not ever come back here again! Don't call me, don't mail me. don't-"
Man, we thought Maki was upset by all this, it's nothing compared to what Yossi's feeling now. The feeling of shock, betrayal, and just plain pain... Miki was the first girl that Yossi every really gave herself to (in more ways than one). This was the girl that held that most special place in her heart, and obviously, deep inside she hoped it was the same for Miki. Seeing that article, meant everything that Yossi had done for this relationship was for nought, because if Miki really did what the article said she did...then she didn't really love Yossi the way Yossi loved her.  To look at Miki now just reminds Yossi of what she gave to her/for her, how it all got thrown back in her face, and it's just more pain than she can bear right now. She's been bombarded with a tremendous bombshell, and she's closing herself off from everything. She doesn't want to see, talk to, or deal with anything or anyone, particularly Miki.


Quote
"I Friday'd myself, Yossi!" Miki screamed over the angry woman. Yossi dropped her grip on the doorknob and stared at Miki in disbelief.

"You WHAT?!" Yossi bellowed, her face turning red. "Have you lost your everloving mind!?"
Well, that got Yossi's attention.


Quote
"I couldn't let them get away with it!" Miki yelled back, her angry eyes dancing wildly. "They think they own us! They think they can tell me who to see and how to feel! They think they can keep me from the woman I love! But they're wrong!" Yossi stared at Miki in confusion.
Yossi shouldn't be that surprised, when you think about it. If anyone in H!P was going to fight back against something like this, it's Miki. :heart:


Quote
Yossi walked over to Miki and took hold of her hands. She looked straight into the smaller girl's eyes, searching them for answers. "I want to believe you, Miki. I really do. So, I need you to be honest with me. Either way, just... just tell me, ok?" Miki nodded. "Did... did you..." Yoshizawa struggled to get the offensive words out. "Did you have sex with Tomoharu Shouji?"

"I've never been with anyone but you," Miki said quietly, staring deep into Yossi's eyes.
:mon cute:


Quote
"So... so, you really and truly didn't... I mean, it was all fake?"

"The entire article was a steaming pile of crap," Miki replied matter-of-factly.
Article =


Quote
Yossi started laughing, nearly beside herself with relief. She cupped Miki's face in her hands and stared into her beloved's face.

"I've never been so ridiculously happy in my entire life," she grinned, leaning in for a kiss. "...wait," she said suddenly, stopping just short of poor Miki's waiting lips. Yossi pulled back and looked thoughtful. "What did you say?"

"Uh, 'steaming pile of -'"



Quote
"No, before that. When you were yelling." A small smile started to spread across Yossi's face. Miki looked confused.

"Uh... I couldn't let them get away with it?"

"After that."
See Miki, Yossi WAS listening to what you were saying.  :k-inlove:


Quote
"Uh... uh... They think they own us... can tell me how to feel... keep me from the woman I... oh shit." Miki stared up at Yossi in alarm. The small smile was now a full-blown Pimp Yossi smirk.
Point...Yossi!  :pimp:


Quote
"Is, uh, there something you'd like to confess?" Yossi asked innocently. Miki smacked her on the arm and plopped down on the younger girl's couch.

"Yes. You suck."
:lol:


Quote
"I know, but you like that," Yossi said with a grin as she sat next to Miki.
Hot dayum!  :jerk:


Quote
Half the damn world knows already," Miki muttered.

"Excuse me?"

Miki sighed heavily. "Aya, Makoto, Eri, Ai, Gaki... I think I accidentally confessed to everyone who happened to be in the UFA cafeteria the yesterday."

"Wait, you told the turtle before me!?" Yossi looked offended.
Miki =  :mon sweat:
Yossi =  :mon huh:


Quote
"I didn't tell her anything," Miki retorted. "She guessed."

"Well, I'm not much for guessing, so..." she looked at Miki expectantly.

"I can't do it now!" Miki exclaimed, turning pink. "You're staring at me and it's embarrassing!" She playfully shoved Yossi away from her. "How the hell do you make me act like this? Damn!"

"Hey! You owe me one now!"

"Like hell I do! What was yours supposed to be? You angrily screamed it at me. It doesn't count." Miki crossed her arms over her chest.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww...Yossi just loves making Miki uncomfortable like this. She gets so cute as she tries to weasel her way out of it.   :nya:

More importantly, she wants to hear Miki say it again. She likes hearing it. :hee:


Quote
What about the other members?"

"I talked it over with Ai and Gaki before I did it. Makoto knew too."

"Of course she did," Yossi sighed. "Who else knows half of the comedians in Tokyo."
I love Yossi's reaction when she hears Mako was involved...."Of course".

It just fits and makes absolute sense, doesn't it? ;D


Quote
"I just... I guess I just can't fathom doing something like this." Miki gently caressed Yossi's face, her eyes studying the familiar features before her.

"I'm just way more selfish than you are," she replied softly before leaning in and gently kissing those tempting lips.

"Miki," Yossi murmured, pulling back after a moment. Their eyes met. "I love you." Miki's heart pounded loudly in her ears.

"I've been in love with you for so long, I don't even remember what it's like not to be," the smaller girl replied.

"Are you trying to one-up me?" Yossi asked with a smile.

"Always."
Point...Miki.  :wub:

And of course.... AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

 :mon lovelaff: :mon lovelaff: :mon lovelaff:


Quote
Yoshizawa Hitomi slowly opened her eyes. The smaller woman in her arms stirred and rolled over to face her.

"I love you, Yocchan," Miki said sleepily.

"Good morning to you, too," Yossi replied with a smile.

"It's not my fault," Miki replied with a yawn. "I kept it in so long, the words just pop out of their own free will now."
Hey, it's not such a bad thing that it does that, ne? :yep:


Quote
"Miki, how did we end up like this?" Yossi asked with a far off look in her eyes.

"Well, first you threw me over your shoulder and marched us in here, and then you - "
Nice going Yossi! :rockon:


Quote
"No one's supposed to read it, my darling dumbass."
It's a good thing Miki's head over heels for Yossi. Anyone else who said that would get such an ass-whuppin.  :rofl:


Quote
She pressed her tiny frame against Yossi's body. "Now... what closet do I have to lock us into to get some action around here?"
Yossi's reply: "Who needs a closet?"  :hump:



God, I'm such a sap for happy endings (especially if Miki's in it). 

...

:imdead:



MANAMIN! DON'T GIVE THINGS AWAY!  XD


I didn't! xD Giving things away would be like leaking the original Miki-talks-to-Risa-and-Ai conversation. Which is in my IM logs! And - oops! It's pasting itself!!  :hee:



Quote
"Don't tell me! You two are - !"

"No no no no no!" Risa protested quickly. "Makoto told us!"

"That girl gets around," I muttered.

"Yeah, no kidding. She's managed to bag...what? Six?"

"Seven, I think," Risa replied.

"Oh, right, I was forgetting Sayu. Yeah, seven Morning members alone." Um.

"...wait, WHAT!? Makoto!? OGAWA Makoto!? Ogawa "old lady" Makoto?"

"She can be surprisingly persuasive," Ai said uncomfortably. I started laughing hysterically at the mental images accosting my brain.

"Uh, Fujimoto?" Risa ventured.

"Sorry, I just... mental image, sorry," I wiped away the tears that had sprung to my eyes.

"So, you and Yoshizawa are leaving together?" Risa asked, trying to get us back on topic.


*dashes off*   
OMGASS IT PASTED ITSELF!!!  :mon lmao: :wahaha:

JPH!P :heart:'s kuro808, Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline Shiru

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Re: memoir [The End - 08/15]
« Reply #223 on: August 16, 2007, 03:06:27 AM »
You made my day :farofflook: :mon XD: :mon XD: :shy2: :shy2:

Sorry for not posting you before. Anyway, I think you really did a very goob job! Great fic  :D :D


I'll be waiting for more  :grin:
« Last Edit: August 16, 2007, 03:07:47 AM by Shiru »

Offline MyDearYossi

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Re: memoir [The End - 08/15]
« Reply #224 on: August 16, 2007, 04:01:17 AM »
Quote
"Miki," Yossi murmured, pulling back after a moment. Their eyes met. "I love you." Miki's heart pounded loudly in her ears.

"I've been in love with you for so long, I don't even remember what it's like not to be," the smaller girl replied.
AWWWWWWWWWW :shy2: :shy2:

So, it has ended... I don't know what to think. I love the ending, but I'll miss reading this... But I'm waiting more from you :)

Thank you for a GREAT fic :nya:

Offline arina_shinh

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Re: memoir [The End - 08/15]
« Reply #225 on: August 16, 2007, 11:52:39 AM »
SWEETTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love the ending!!!!!!

Quote
"Don't 'Yocchan' me. Get the hell out of my apartment."

Shhesh, Yossie. Be nice to Miki!! She did it all for you!!

Quote
"I freaking love you, ok?" Yossi yelled. "Does that make this more fun for you or do you actually feel bad now?" she demanded angrily. Miki was elated and horrified and didn't know what to do anymore.

I gotta love this scene!!! You know, Yossie when she's mad, she'll be the sexiest woman alive!!

Can't wait for the sequel!!



Offline almond

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Re: memoir [The End - 08/15]
« Reply #226 on: August 16, 2007, 12:16:35 PM »
:farofflook: :imdead:
:nya:

Nice roller coaster ride!  The transition from conflict-->understanding-->happy end, was brought together nicely.  Miki and Yossie are such strong willed characters so the fight was intense. I found it fun.XD  Almond about the comedians, did you get this from the behind the scenes incident in GoRokkies? 
Thank you so much! I was most worried about going from screaming to rabu-rabu so quickly. I know I can do that in real life, but I'm weird. :lol:
And, yeah, I haven't really watched GoRokkies, so I have no idea what you mean. XD I was going off how much Makoto loved the comedians on H!M (Esp. that one half-naked guy that no one else found funny)

uh...
im still at the first chapter in this fanart,



but i imagined they'd have almost the same facial expressions near the end of your final chapter!
(when they finally hear each other say "I love you")
heheh! it really does make a full circle,
like all of those "how did we end up like this" phrases :)

magnifico!

I went "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" in a really high pitched voice when I saw the new fan art.  :wub:
Please don't stop drawing it. I lurve it to pieces.

And, yeah, I'm a sucker for bringing things full circle. I don't think I'll be doing it with the sequel, though.

AHHHHHHH!!! a happy ending.  :luvluv1: :luvluv1: :luvluv1: :luvluv1:
For a moment a think it was going to be a sad ending, like they break up or something. Why I thing this? this is the reason:
Quote
I am seriously nervous about posting this part. I'm all "omg, they'll hate it. after all that build up, they'll be all '...ah.' "
Damn! you always confuse me :mon annoy:
Aaah! I'm sorry! I love happy endings generally, even though I can be really REALLY mean to my characters *insert manamin alluding to the sequel here*

Quote
Anyway, I *am* working on the sequel. The Prologue and Part 1 are done. The Prologue is actually a scene from later in the storyline and then Part 1 picks up where memoir leaves off.
Make it a story where Maki looks for rabu-rabu! Make it so she falls for Nacchi (and vice versa)!  :love:
I might be able to write this in as background story... the main storyline has already been decided on, though, and Maki's barely in it and Nacchi might warrant a mention or something. Of course, that's at this stage of the writing. At this stage of writing memoir, it was ending when they had sex in the closet  :lol:


Did Yossi just tell Miki?

...

Whoa, Yossi just told Miki...

...


:o :o
OH MY GAH, I'VE BEEN JANICE'D


Quote from: me
"The entire article was a steaming pile of crap," Miki replied matter-of-factly.
Article =
This cracked me up.

Quote from: me
"Uh, 'steaming pile of -'"

And this almost killed me I was laughing so hard.

Quote from: me
"No one's supposed to read it, my darling dumbass."
It's a good thing Miki's head over heels for Yossi. Anyone else who said that would get such an ass-whuppin.  :rofl:
QFT

Yossi's reply: "Who needs a closet?"  :hump:
Dammit, that would have been a better ending line.  :lol:


God, I'm such a sap for happy endings (especially if Miki's in it). 

...

:imdead:
:wahaha:

You made my day :farofflook: :mon XD: :mon XD: :shy2: :shy2:

Sorry for not posting you before. Anyway, I think you really did a very goob job! Great fic  :D :D


I'll be waiting for more  :grin:

YAY! Thank you so much  :heart:

So, it has ended... I don't know what to think. I love the ending, but I'll miss reading this... But I'm waiting more from you :)
I know, I kinda miss being able to lead up to part 18 and being able to go in and add more YoAngst to 18. XD

I gotta love this scene!!! You know, Yossie when she's mad, she'll be the sexiest woman alive!!
Seriously~  :luvluv1:


Thank you all so much for the wonderful comments. I really was worried about posting 18, that after all that build up, it'd be a disappointment.  :sweat:

I AM currently working on the sequel and it will be slower paced and have a lot more filler. The prologue hints at the upcoming conflict and then we go back to rabu-rabu time while the conflict slowly approaches. But! If anyone has any ideas for silly fluffy YoMiki filler, let me know  :whistle:



Offline ChiruChaCha

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Re: memoir [The End - 08/15]
« Reply #227 on: August 16, 2007, 12:49:28 PM »
I have to admit that at first, when I saw the thread in the H!P Fanfic board, I didn't have much interest in the story, actually I didn't think it would be a humorous fic(to be honest the title sounds more like a bitter memories fic to me) so I didn't pay much attention, but once I started getting into the story it grew on me a LOT. Really funny, waiting for the sequel now ^^

Offline katatsumuri

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Re: memoir [The End - 08/15]
« Reply #228 on: August 16, 2007, 01:43:14 PM »
Love the ending. :nya: Glad it didn't turn out angsty.
And now you got me looking forward for the sequel.  :hee:

Offline Mikan

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Re: memoir [The End - 08/15]
« Reply #229 on: August 16, 2007, 05:10:13 PM »
Ive been away for so long and im too lazy to comment on everything so i present my summary!!
NAKAZAWA FUCKING ROCKS!! ahahahha

and i love you. write more

Read the complete Doki Doki!!

Offline g4rfield

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Re: memoir [The End - 08/15]
« Reply #230 on: August 16, 2007, 09:23:32 PM »
This is it? It finally ends??? Thank goodness it's a happy ending.  :D :D I don't think I can take the emotion roller coaster any longer. (Like a certain fic around here :angry: which decides to kill one of the main character!) Neway, love the story and I hope you'll write more.  :)

Offline JFC

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Re: memoir [The End - 08/15]
« Reply #231 on: August 16, 2007, 10:09:24 PM »
Quote
OH MY GAH, I'VE BEEN JANICE'D
:banana:

JPH!P :heart:'s kuro808, Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline shindoushiz

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Re: memoir [The End - 08/15]
« Reply #232 on: August 17, 2007, 03:27:19 AM »
Thank you so much! I was most worried about going from screaming to rabu-rabu so quickly. I know I can do that in real life, but I'm weird. :lol:
And, yeah, I haven't really watched GoRokkies, so I have no idea what you mean. XD I was going off how much Makoto loved the comedians on H!M (Esp. that one half-naked guy that no one else found funny)
Love is always crazy, full of hot and cold. :yep: Better than being bored, life needs spice. :grin:
meh heheh, Hirumeshi-kun. People didn't find him funny but he managed to get on H!M 3 times!! Makoto laughs way too easily during those comedian segments. In GoRokkies, there's that guy but you can only hear the voice in each episode. He was thankful for Makoto's kindness towards him when she invited him to join the group during mealtime(he felt isolated and was eating alone). I think he's a comedian and his story spread in the community, so there are comedians who are supportive of her. I dunno if it's connected but you see some of the comedy guests on Haromoni picking on Mako or having an interest in her.

元気で行こう!
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Offline Novaforever

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Re: memoir [The End - 08/15]
« Reply #233 on: August 17, 2007, 04:15:19 AM »
Yay!  It was a beautiful and fitting end.  Plus that last line just made it!   Now I'm not saying I'm a Yossi/Miki fan now (I will forever be a GAM fangirl) but your story may have swayed me.  Just a little.  You write Miki really well.  She seemed like the perfect portrayal of narcissism. 

That being said, I'm sad that this story is over.  I look forward to another long arc from you in the future.  And thanks for writing this one!

And kudos to all the people who drew awesome fanart! 

Offline stefy

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Re: memoir [The End - 08/15]
« Reply #234 on: August 17, 2007, 07:05:39 AM »
sweet yet funny ending!

my fav line would be..
"Well, first you threw me over your shoulder and marched us in here, and then you -"  woo~ you go Yossi!

Offline polidread

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Re: memoir [The End - 08/15]
« Reply #235 on: August 22, 2007, 02:03:48 AM »
i just had these approved early today...



warning po: this one isnt exactly for minors, so please click in a secure location.
http://img392.imageshack.us/my.php?image=memoir003ir7.jpg

im really having a fun time reading and re-reading the fic so i can get clues to the timeline of each chapter to track down what hairstyles the girls had at the time,
and then making a drawing that strikes some sort of similarity to them.

It's like a detective puzzle game :P

i hope you folks enjoy my fan art. the chapter is indicated in the drawings, you can go back and read the chapters and check if i did Almond's writing any justice :)

Offline almond

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Re: memoir [The End - 08/15]
« Reply #236 on: August 22, 2007, 03:08:07 AM »
omg, I know I saw them in PM earlier, but...

Ok, the first one is all "wow, that's awesome and funnysexy."

Then I opened the second one and was all ".............OMG THAT'S FREAKING HOT" XD

Oh, and polidread, if you can't figure out one of the time periods, just ask me ^^;

Offline JFC

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Re: memoir [The End - 08/15]
« Reply #237 on: August 22, 2007, 03:34:16 AM »
Ok, the first one is all "wow, that's awesome and funnysexy."
I loved the way both of their eyes were bugging out in the pic. :lol:



Then I opened the second one and was all ".............OMG THAT'S FREAKING HOT" XD
I just did this (but without the blood) -> :mon blood:

JPH!P :heart:'s kuro808, Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline iacus

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Re: memoir [The End - 08/15]
« Reply #238 on: August 23, 2007, 10:01:15 PM »
I'm really glad I decided to wait on reading this until after you finished it. It would have been torture to read one of these funny, sexy, hilarious, well-written, amusing, or just plain great chapters and not know when I'll read the next. Thank god you already started the sequel or I don't know what I'd do with my free time.

Offline polidread

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Re: memoir [The End - 08/15]
« Reply #239 on: August 25, 2007, 11:42:46 AM »
I loved the way both of their eyes were bugging out in the pic. :lol:

Heheh, thanks, that's Hitomi's specialty - big white orbs!
as for Miki - well, Miki saw plenty :P

I just did this (but without the blood) -> :mon blood:


eh, dont die just yet, i havent covered everything Almond  :pimp:  described in Memoir !
« Last Edit: August 25, 2007, 11:48:58 AM by polidread »

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