High of 85

[stefy]

newbie aleart! newbie aleart!
first time writing a fic so.... don't expect too much
anywayz enjoy~

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Chap.1

Panting sounds, that was all that was heard from her as Yoshizawa Hitomi cycled at top speed to school. 'Kuso oyajime now I'm gonna be late for school again' not that it bothered her or anything, Yossi was known for being late most of the time. Sometimes she does it on purpose only to piss off the teacher, sometimes she overslept because she works till the wee hours for a little bit of cash to spend.

She turned into the school gates and continued cycling towards the little area where students could park their bicycles at. The moment Yossi locked her bike she dashed into the buliding and climbed up the steps to the third floor at amazing speed and finally skiding sideways to stop right at the door of class 3B-01

"Ah~ Yoshizawa-san nice of you to join us. Please take a seat, or would you like me to escort you to your seat?" The sarcastic teacher said in respond to the now perspiring figure standing at the door.

An ice cold glare was given in return from the latecomer, "No... Sorry I'm late." Yossi mumbled to her teacher in an irritated tone as she walked towards her seat. As she walk down the row everyone stared at the tall, handsome looking girl as she threw her bag on to her table and sat down on her chair.

Yossi yawned while unattentively listening to her teacher as he went on with his lesson.
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"Ok class, that's it for our lesson...."

Yossi stood up and headed for the door just as the teacher said those magic words.

"Oie! Wait up! Whats your problem today huh?"

"Nothing Miki, just wanna get some food before I starve to death."

Fujimoto Miki, Yossi's classmate, runs over to Yossi's side and walks with her to the canteen for lunch.
"So.. Whats for lunch?"
"Anything edible."

'Why can't she give me a proper answer for once?'

******

"NICE PASS!"
"Ishikawa!! look out!"

A ball flew toward the beautiful looking girl with long dark hair who was in the midst of tying up her hair. Fortunately the girl named Ishikawa Rika managed to duck just before the ball hit her

"You trying to kill me Non?!"

"Gomen! Gomenne Rika-chan." A cute shorter girl with her hair tied up in a bun jogged over to Rika to see if her senior was alright. "Well at least you ducked in time." The younger looking girl grinned and searched the area with her eyes for the now missing ball. "Oi Tsuji! Quickly get the ball over already, Rika-chan is fine!!" Miki shouted at her practice partner as she waited for the ball.
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"Yocchan~" Miki waves her hand vigorously at the girl whom she spotted a distance away. Yossi was  walking towards her bike while staring at the group of girls playing soccer. As soon as she was caught staring, Yossi looked down at her bike and began unlocking.

"Nee Yocchan, why don't you join us? I know you want to."

"I'm busy Miki, go enjoy yourself alright?" The taller girl patted Miki's head like a little girl and hops onto her bicycle. A little upset that she fail to persuade Yossi to join their game, Miki walks back to the group.

"Mikitty, who's that? kakkoi na~ for a girl, how come you didn't ask her to join us?"

"Yoshizawa Hitomi, my classmate."

"Thats Yossi? Wow she's more handsome looking than I thought! Everyone said she looks really handsome but..."

While Tsuji continued blabbering about the school's female prince the other two girls were staring at the back view of Yossi as she rode off further and further away until her back view finally disappeared.

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plz plz plz comment.. bad or good comments all is needed

[Mikan]

Yes!! I secretly love stories about High school of H!P, Muahhaha. And Im a sucker for Yossui so you have me as a reader for this one.

Ok, now Im going to rip you to threads because I already have a repuation her for the straight forward ass. I'd hate for anyone else's reputation to be tainted in the same way.

GRAMMAR!!
Spelling errors or what I do most - replace nouns with other nouns you have been thinking of...those things are ok because we are only human!! and some of us havent finished high school!! So I think its ok you have a few errors in there..

I cant stress capital letters enough. For proper nouns (names, beginning of sentences and so on).

Umm, your spacing is good! Im always happy to see nice use of breaks! Length is good!

I cant pick on you for anything else. Just the capitals thing...

Now do the same for me!! darn it, RIP ME TO PIECES!! Dont tell me Yuuyami is the only one

[Blizzard]

Nice start!  This looks to be a promising fic!  :pen_clap:  Anything with Yossi in it is good enough for me, but including Miki and Rika are definate plusses.  

I agree with Mikan on the grammar aspect, but don't let that stop you.  I'll continue to read this with or without capitals.   :pen_nod:

[Yuuyami]

I agree with everyone else on the grammar and such xD

-giggles at Mikan at the comment directed at me- Anywho...

This seems, to me, like a manga, with how the script is written and all. xD

[rndmnwierd]

Interesting concept, I'm eager to see where this is going.

[katatsumuri]

Hey stefy, I'm surprised you start writing too. I'm okay with any fics that has Yossi.

The story/scenes seems rushed (maybe it's just me.)

[Owaranai_sLaVe]

I have to agree that some scenes are rushed, like transition scenes. Other than that it was just capitalization in some of the proper nouns

Another '85 fanfic~ Haha, this makes me think of the story way before H!P period.... I feel like I'm writing the sequel to this, haha.


-Owaranai_sLaVe

[stefy]

Tkz for the comment guyz.. ok first of all... OUCH! was my grammar THAT bad? hmm so I gotta work on my grammar, capital letters and not to rush the story.. OK! next.. I think Yuuyami is right lol, maybe its cuz I watch too much friggin dramas so it turned out drama/manga-ish. katatsumuri you read this!! hehe I guess I got influenced and besides there's not much fics on high school or my dear yossie as the lead in here so I decided to write one instead of waiting for someone to do it.

Cool having you guys comment on this fic!! cuz I always read your fics and get envious of how well you guys can write...

[stefy]

-The art work-
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"Ok class, everyone here?" as the question was asked a dark brown blob seemed to be hovering together with an flying canvas, Yossi was quietly sneaking through the backdoor towards her seat, luckily for her their teacher had her back faced against the class. Yossi quickly sits on her chair placing her canvase on the stand as quietly as possible to avoid getting caught.

"Psst! late yet again? your lucky Iida-sensei didn't catch you." Miki whispered into Yossi's ears from behind. Yossi swung her hand to the back and smiled slightly, what she hoped would happen, happened. "Ow! Fine I'll shut up then..." Miki wispered yet again while rubbing her head.

"So I see everyone has brought thier paintings, you may continue with your work for now." Iida-sensei said this as she herself went to work on her own painting.

Everyone in the room bustled one the spot taking out thier equipment and began painting. Only one girl stood up walked to the corner of the room, placed her canvas against the wall and sat crossed-legged on the floor taking out her brush and continued to painted her semi-finished drawing while listening to her walkman. Yossi loved art lessons it was the only time she could get lose in her own world without anyone bothering her... "Hey Yocchan, what'cha think?".. exept for that one person.

"Sorry couldn't hear you" Yossi said coolly as she took of one side of her earphone, her eyes soon found Miki's art work and stared at it with a stunned face.

"Wow Miki, why on earth did you choose art again?"

"Oh come on! It's not that bad right? Say its not bad, or I'll paint your face green!" Miki crept behind Yossi, while holding a brush smothered in green paint and used her free arm to hug Yossi from behind.

"Get.. off.. me! Go continue painting your.. Whatever that is."

With one swift move, Yossi managed to free herself from her playful friend without having any green paint on her body, but unfortunatly the move by Yossi made Miki fall backwards causing her to fall on her butt which in turn made her brush fly out of her hand and was headed for Rika's direction.

"Uh..... Oh" was all Miki could say as green paint was splattered all over Rika's painting of a beautiful lake. There was silence in the class and everyone turned to look at the commotion at the back, Rika then turned to look at the two who ruined her art work, Miki was staring at her with the most apologetic look one could give. While Miki's partner in the crime was apparently ignoring the whole incident, with her back facing everyone, listening to her mp3 while she continued painting. Rika continued to watch Yossi's back hoping for the girl to turn around and apologise, but no movement was made by her besides her arm moving up and down her canvas. Rika turned back to painting with a tear rolling down her face.

'Why is she always so cold towards me'

*********

-Afterschool-

"Hey Rika!" Miki ran towards the brunette dragging a taller looking girl "Erm... Your not playing soccer with us? Sorry about the painting again, I'll get you a new canvas and even paint it for you! Although Yossi says it'll end up looking like a cat which I doubt!" Miki shot Yossi a glare as she said the last comment to Rika.

'How come you let her in and not me?'

"Its ok Mikitty, I'll just re-paint it myself. I got to rush home today so I won't be joining you for soccer."

Miki nodds and then nudges Yossi to say something. The taller looks over to the side abit pissed off before she spoke, "She said she'll re-paint it, case closed can I go home now?" Returning Miki the glare that she recieved just moments ago.

"You can never apologise to me nicely anymore can you?! You know, ever since you moved in with us you've been giving me the cold treatment!" screamed Rika, who was now shocked that she had accidentally blurted out something that Yossi made her swear not to tell. She looked wide eyed at Yossi only to find the other giving her the exact same look. Yossi grabbed Rika's hand and pulled her to a corner.

"What the hell do you think your doing?"
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, it just... It slipped"
"It slipped? Slipped?!"
Yossi stared at Rika for what seemed like hours. Rika thought she was going to get hit by the taller female and prepared for the worst but all Yossi did was just walked away without a word. Rika looked slightly confused then went after her leaving Miki standing alone.

The confused looking Miki looked blankly in space and thought out loud.
"Moved in.... Moved in?.... MOVED IN?!"

************
TBC

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woo I managed to continue it!! phew!

[rndmnwierd]

Eh? Moved in?

[Gomaki]

hm I like this fic :pen_clap:
Great keep going!^^

[katatsumuri]

"Wow Miki, why on earth did you choose art again?"

wonders... Yossui & Rika are cousins?

[Yuuyami]

I can see that you tried working on your grammar more, but to me, I think you placed all your punctuation in the wrong places o_o; And a lot of the wording seems awkward o__o' Perhaps an editor is in order?

I like how the story is progressing though ^^; Miki x Rika x Yossie is loooove~! Oh and love the Iida-sensei thing xD

[jafeijai]

O_O Yossie and Rika live together?!?! EHHH?! interesting plot twist...and only Chapter 2 as well. I'm interested to see how this will develop...

[Blizzard]

I'm liking this more and more! :MKgrin:  Please keep up the good work!  Can't wait to read more!

[KrazyForKamei]

I like this...them in high school is an interesting concept ^.^ Moved in?! *gasp* oh the drama...

I wanna read mooooore!

PS: the Miki art part was hilarious xP

[ferrar1]

hmm, high school story romance I like Actually the settings sounds like one of the Taiwanese drama i saw years back.

It's nice to see Miki doing the chasing this time and quite different from the normally aloof Miki Anyway I hope to see more juniors in the picture when the story starts rolling *coughrokkiescough*.

[stefy]

Hey guys, thanks for all the comments really encouraging. But I think I won't continue this fic.... Not till I change the story line alittle. Cuz my original thinking was that Yossi had a brother who passed away. Now that the news is out, I'll feel really really bad if I continue with this story line. I'll try to think of something different. If not then hmm chapter will be the last chapter. My condolences for Hitomi-san and her family.

[stefy]

back in business!

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rndmnwierd - yup moved in.. drama right?

Gomaki - someone else is in the fic which I think you'll like even more... hehe

katatsumuri - that would make more sense wouldn't it? still under construction tho... haha

Yuuyami - You mean theres an editor for this?! where where where? I too thought it was too wordy or cramped after reading it again... hope this next one is better. Mannn my english, I thought it was alright since I got A's or B's for english in sch the teachers lied to me!!!

jafeijai - :ONkekeke: yup they live tgt wonder what will happen....

Blizzard - wee~ glad ya likey

KrazyForKamei - I tried to make the Miki part funny... guess it worked hahaz

ferrar1 - years back? nahh think last yr... I er :panda_shifty: stole the 'moved in' idea from "Er Zuo Ju" heard of it b4? I'm sure you did it was really popular last yr... if not... well its actually a remake of the japanese drama "Itazura no KISS"

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[Yuuyami]

-is the wedge between comment replies and the next chapter-

:]