#2• Title: The past that holds you back
• Pairing: Atsuko Maeda x Oshima Yuko
• Words: 1,762
• Genre: Angst
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“If you guys really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where we first met. Right?” I sighed feeling defeated as my friends grinned throwing victory pose to each other. They’ve been constantly asking about the girl I met during summer vacation. Honestly I’m trying to forget about it, but having this crazies pampering and reminding me all the time obviously won’t help.
“Can you guys promise me first that after this you won’t mention her again, EVER. I’m actually getting sick of this topic coming out of nowhere” I leaned on my seat grabbing a slice of pizza and giving them the ‘I’m serious look’ while taking a bite.
“Geez, Acchan. Can you just get to the story? We promise. After this, no more mentioning of your summer romance” Mariko said then rose her left hand promising. I rolled my eyes and everyone started to laugh. They are surely enjoying this huh.
Takamina then noticed my ‘I’m not impressed look’ and stated “Hey, Acchan might change her mind! Be serious now guys”
“Are you guys done? I’m leaving then”
“No no no! Geez we’re just kidding Acchan. Are you on your period or something?” Tomochin said grabbing and pulling my left wrist to get back on my seat. So much ugh. Let’s just get over this with. But I doubt that they’ll stop even I tell them the whole story in full details anyway.
“So..? How did you guys meet?” Takamina hesitantly asked obviously scared because of the glare I’m giving to Tomochin.
FlashbackIt was during the end of semester, I came across the flower shop behind our school. Yeah, the one next to the coffee shop Mariko often goes to. I’m no fan of flowers; you guys know that but what caught my attention that time is the girl who is sitting cross-legged or what do you call that sitting style again? Yes, that! Indian-style sitting or something, Hunched over and a sketchpad on her lap.
‘Is she the owner?’ I was obviously asking myself that time.
How does she look? Well, I think she was about Takamidget’s height? Wait no. She’s a bit taller. She’s wearing a dirty white v-neck shirt a jeans with a suspender and a high cut converse shoes. A looks definitely suited for those street artists. No Miichan, She does not look dirty. Then her hair was a tangled mess of a soothing brown. Her dimples showing as she smile at her almost finished masterpiece.
For me it was the first time to see someone breathtakingly beautiful.
Of course that time I know I was a hundred percent straight, I never would have imagine to be you know..Someone who’ll fall for someone on the same gender. But shit happens and that’s it. She noticed me standing just right behind her, her eyes locked into mine and fucking shit ‘Love at first sight’ really do happen in real life. But Let’s first start with a crush.
“I’m sorry. Am I on the way?” She asked.
“Err— N-No. I’m sorry. I was just passing by a-and saw you drawing” I stuttered. I almost bit my tongue that time guys! I don’t know what got me to be hella nervous talking to a stranger.
She smiled.
Oh my God
“I’m Oshima Yuko”
I’m cutting our first meeting short, she suggested to have a coffee at the coffee shop Mariko often goes to because the owner probably wouldn’t like us hanging around in front of the shop and mostly because they are blocking their flowers. We just had a chat after and some questions here and there, I learned that she’s a Fine Arts student Major in Painting currently on her sophomore year and she usually look for things she could draw to improve her skills during her free time. Then at the end of the day which I did not notice, we exchanged mails and she promised to call.
That escalated quickly.
But who cares?
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Well next things lead to another, we almost meet every day. What we are doing you ask? Mostly talk. Everyday I’m learning new things from her and so is she. I feel so close to her that my feelings were changing. Yeah yeah stop grinning! My simple crush turned to that. I fell so hard with someone I’ve just met. I’m quite aware it’s pretty one sided you know, what’s to like about me anyway? Nothing.
As I’ve told you we mostly just talk when we meet right? I asked her then on why she seems always by herself, it’s pretty rare for someone as pretty and as funny as her to be always alone right. Plus she’s in college so probably she has a group of friends she can hang out with during summer vacation rather that hanging out me. Or do I just want to know if she’s going out with someone. Okay. You got me.
“I’m actually going out with someone” she said locking her eyes on me but after a few seconds she turned and shifted her previous position to a cocoon like sitting style.
Ouch. I shouldn’t have asked. Or at least this could help me stop my growing feelings for her before it reaches the final level.
“Or that’s what they’ve constantly telling me” She sighs as she closed her eyes.
“Eh?” was all I could murmur.
I placed a hand on her right shoulder after a minute of silence as she turned her gazed to me, her eyes watery and a bit red. Aware that she’s preventing herself from crying. I gave her that look that she could tell me what’s bothering or whatever shit she’s going through. That she could trust me that I’ll be there..For her.
“The day I graduated from Highschool, I had an accident. According to them I was hit by a private vehicle and lost all my memory. I don’t remember any of those so whatever they tell me I believe it. I was told everything. It was like they are dictating me on how I should be. But I already forgot everything I knew about myself then”
I’m feeling weak hearing her soft voice as if asking for comfort or at least someone who could understand her. I feel like wanting to protect her from all those things.
“My relationship with family, friends, classmates and the things I like or don’t like, I lost all of them. It’s like I’ve just lost my whole Identity. I’m afraid to meet them, for all I know It’s the Old Oshima Yuko they wanted to meet. But I can’t just leave them on the past and forget them fully. I should consider how hard it is for them especially for the said special someone that my old self used to love…”
“I can’t remember anything but sometimes those emotions are coming back to me, sort of like nostalgia. But when I try to pursue those things they disappear. It’s like there’s something written on a piece of paper but every time I tried to read what’s written, the words disappears.”
Having an internal struggle on how am I going to comfort the person who looks so broken in front of me, I gather all my courage and pulled her into a hug. She then broke down and wrapped her arms around me. When she calmed down, She released her tight grip on my waist and moved a little away from me but still just an inches away from my face. I could feel her breath on mine as she leaned forward to capture my lips.
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I didn’t know how we end up in that situation. All I can remember is that I followed her at her dormitory after she ran away from me after our kiss she told me it was a mistake and she was sorry. She was surprised at first but then I showed her the desire I have through my eyes telling her It was okay and she don’t need to hold back.
“Yuk—“She quickly shut me up with a chaste kiss and pushed me to her painted white dormitory wall. I took great pleasure as her tongue made a way inside me mouth. Her hold on my shoulder is so tight that I could feel her nails digging to my skin, But I don’t mind at all. I can feel her assets as she pressed her body against mine.
I feel so hot.
So hot that I don’t want to stop.
Not anymore giving a fuck on what’s to happen between us, I took a hold of her left hand and pressed it against my center. “P-Please Y-Y-Yuko. Please have me” I breathed out.
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Present“Now you’re asking if we did it? Isn’t Obvious…But yes just to answer your stupid question. We fell asleep after and then that’s the end of our story.”
“EH?!!?!?!?!?!” they suddenly screamed.
“When I woke up she was no longer there.” I turned my gaze to their confused ones. I might look completely over with her but honestly speaking I’m not.
“I’m going home. I hope this stop you guys from asking about her. I really want to forget about her fully. So please” I grabbed my bag and bid my goodbye, I heard no protest from them which is a good thing. They probably felt that I need space after having to tell them everything that broke my entire being that one summer vacation.
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I walked through the flower shop where we first met, then the small pond where we usually spend the entire day together. I sat on the same spot where we usually hang around and brought out the letter I received from you after I woke up that morning. I did not mention this to my friends since I could hardly stop the tears from falling.
Atsuko,
Meeting you was like a new beginning.
But my old self is screaming not to create a new one.
I do love you. The present Oshima Yuko does.
But I’m scared that If my memories were to come back and so is the feelings from the past,
I will be no longer the Oshima Yuko that you once knew. Feelings were too mixed up and
I don’t want to end up hurting you more.
I’m so sorry.
I really am.
If we once met again by chance then maybe it’s fate that will brought us again together.
Thank you for everything and please always Take care of yourself.
-Oshima Yuko
A/N: I got the Idea of Yuko having an amnesia from Golden Time (Anime Series) Thank you for reading!
Topic: (2/?) :Reset me - Atsumina (03/16/2014) (Read 5056 times)