Chapter 18 of 28
After we finish our meal, we part ways for a few hours. I go back to my apartment and change into more casual clothes.
I call up a travel agent and work my magic. It's very last minute, but I get myself a plane ticket to Sapporo for the day after tomorrow. It'll be waiting for me at Haneda Airport. Heart heavy, I write it down in my agenda book. Not that I’m going to forget something like that.
I then call Tsuyoshi up. He sounds relieved to hear from me.
"Are you at work?"
"Yes. I was just about to pack up for the day."
I put on my sweetest voice.
"Could you do me a huge favour?"
"Um, of course."
I explain that I need to get into Miki's office and look for some important papers. He informs me that the police are still searching through Miki's things, but that they're not around at the moment.
"They've got the place taped off, though. Standard 'do no enter' stuff."
I stay silent for a moment to emphasise my reluctance to back off.
"Most people are gone by nine," he suggests helpfully. "At least in the offices on this floor. There are the usual few who pull all-nighters downstairs in the studios."
"Tsuyoshi-kun, do you think you could get me into Miki-chan's office?"
He's quiet, and when I'm positive he's going to say no, he speaks up.
"Can you be here at ten-thirty tonight?"
We make arrangements to meet, and I hang up with a thanks. After that, I call Shibata and tell her about my plan with Tsuyoshi.
"Be careful. It could get tricky," she warns me.
I assure her I'll be all right.
"Oh, and Miki's apartment. What time do you want to go tonight?"
"Well..." she drawls reluctantly. "Are you really sure you want to do that?"
"Positive."
I've been aching to go over there. I haven't been in so long, it seems. Not since before my otherworldly ordeal in Hokkaido. Maybe if I go, it'll feel like Miki's still alive...
"Then as late as possible. Two or three if we can."
I think about a plan.
"The last train will leave us there around one-fifteen. We can hang out at a nearby diner until two-thirty or so. Then we'll move in. Most people are usually asleep by then."
She doesn't say anything.
"I'll see you at the station tonight, then," I say, filling in the silence.
"Right."
Our conversation ends there, and I feel uneasy.
I attempt to calm myself down by taking a bath, but I don't feel at all good as I sit in the warm water and let my thoughts run wild.
When I get out of the bathtub, I want to go into my room to find Miki there reading or listening to music. I want all of this horror to be a dream or a joke.
I want it so desperately as my mind wanders through the memories.
"Stop that."
"Stop what?"
"Poking me."
"I'm not poking you."
"Yes you are. Stop it."
"Make me.
"Fine!"
Miki tackles me and I take a deep breath before my head goes under the water. I claw at her and pull her down with me. I burst through the surface of the water and take a deep breath, laughing so hard to see Miki struggling. She makes it back up for air, sputtering and looking like a pissed off drowned cat, her hair plastered against her head.
"Are you trying to kill me?!"
I laugh in her face and poke her again.
"No."
She growls at me but doesn't fight back. She knows I've won for now. We are, after all, in public. A very private public, but still, anybody could walk in at any moment. We finally did make it to Hakone after our first failed attempt.
I sit back against the natural rock wall of the onsen, my whole body submerged in the warm water, and I tug her over to sit beside me. She does so with a lot of grumbling and reluctance.
"Listen to that," I say, closing my eyes and leaning back.
She listens but then makes an unsure sound at the back of her throat.
"I don't hear it. What?"
"Exactly," I say with a smile, my eyes still closed. "Nothing. Peace and quiet."
Her hand finds mine under the water and holds onto it. I can sense her settle against the wall.
"I like," she mumbles.
I open my eyes and see that's she's copying me, her head leaned against the wall, eyes closed. I commit the image to memory, and then go back to my head-rested, eyes-closed position.
I live for these moments.
I fall asleep in the bath and I wake up when I slip in and start to drown. I cough and get out, getting dressed as quickly as I can. It's almost time to go to U-Con.
At ten-thirty, I arrive in front of the U-Con building. Waiting like he promised, there is Tsuyoshi. He's still dressed in his work clothes.
"You haven't gone home yet?" I ask in surprise.
He nods.
"I stuck around. It wasn't worth the bother to leave."
"I'm sorry..."
"It's okay," he smiles. "My parents aren't great conversationalists at the dinner table, so I didn't miss much."
He leads me through the front door.
"Um, shouldn't we go through the back?" I ask worriedly, looking around for anyone watching.
He raises an eyebrow.
"You watch too many movies."
We ride the elevator up and arrive at the fifth floor. The place seems deserted, and half the lights are turned off.
"Everyone on this floor has gone home. We've got the place to ourselves provided nobody from the fourth floor comes here to borrow something."
Okay, then. Let's not waste any time."
I take out two pairs of gloves and hand one to Tsuyoshi.
"Just in case," I say to his questioning look.
We put the gloves on and move into Miki's office, ducking under the tape the police have put up.
The inside of her office looks like someone gutted a fish, rearranged all the internal organs incorrectly, and stuffed them back in the fish's belly. Boxes of her things litter the floor, her desk has been moved off to the side, papers piled up on it, and her chair is non-existent.
I round the desk and go straight to the bottom drawer. I pull at it and am satisfied when it slides open easily. The police have broken the lock.
I kneel down to get a closer look. The bottom drawer is fairly empty. There are some folders, some loose papers, a few trivial knick knacks that I never knew she had, and a coffee cup given to her by her mother on her twenty-third birthday. The oddest present she ever received from her mother, she had told me.
I reach for the folders and papers right away and put them on the desk.
"Found it?" Tsuyoshi asks from across the room, no doubt giving me some distance out of respect and privacy.
"I'm not sure," I mumble, picking up the first paper.
It's nothing important. Or at least it used to be important. It's just a bill. Now she doesn't have to pay bills anymore...
"I'll go wait for you out at my desk, okay?" Tsuyoshi says, pointing outside.
I look up, nod, and then return my attention to the paper in front of me.
I grit my teeth and move on to the next paper.
The other loose papers are all her latest bills. Cell phone, internet, electricity, gas. I know that she takes them to work with her the day after receiving them because she doesn't like to look at them when she gets home after a long day. She prefers to end her day on a good note, and I couldn't agree more with her way of thinking.
Inside the first folder are notes from meetings at U-Con. I skim through them quickly, but they all mention names of co-workers or information about various things going on within the company.
Inside the second folder is one piece of paper. On the paper, there's a list of items. I read through them and realise that it's a "to do" list. But a little more elaborate than that. She has some of her goals written on it. At the very bottom, she's written "take over the world", and I sigh because she never got the chance to try.
I look in the drawer again, but there are no papers left. I put everything back the way I found it and then quickly search the other drawers. Nothing. I look through the papers on top of her desk. Nothing. Unless I'm missing some sort of coded detail, there's nothing here from her meetings at the café.
Once I finish, I step back outside and see Tsuyoshi sitting at his desk, half asleep. I call out to him quietly so that I don't scare him by suddenly appearing by his side, and he gets up.
"Any luck?" he asks hopefully.
I shake my head.
"Sorry to have made you stay here for nothing," I say glumly.
"No, don't be sorry. It's for a good cause."
He smiles at me brilliantly, and I wonder if he has a girlfriend. A nice guy like him could make just about anyone happy. He could probably even make me hap-.
No.
I shut that thought out of my head before it can take further shape. What I need right now are friends to help me through this, not some sort of replacement Miki. Nobody can replace her. She's non-replaceable.
I know for a fact that the desperation I'm feeling is because I'm just that - desperate. Desperate for her to be alive again and pushing myself onto other people to help me lose myself and forget that this terrible thing is happening. I've done it at least once before. Thrown myself at someone because of Miki. It's the same as drowning one's sorrows in alcohol, but I really don't like drinking enough to do that.
I smile back, and we head out and take the train together part of the way home.
When Tsuyoshi gets off at his station, I feel a little lost again. There's nothing at Miki's office that suggests any meetings have been taking place outside of U-Con. There must be something at her apartment. If Shibata and I do a thorough search tonight, we can discover whatever it is.
A few hours later, I board the last train that will get me to Miki's station. It's late and I feel unsafe. There are murderers out there. I know for a fact that they exist. Whoever they are, they know who I am. I'm positive.
I'm glad to see Shibata waiting at the east exit. I feel a little safer to know that someone's got my back.
When I greet her, she seems distracted. I try to talk to her about what we're about to do, but she's unresponsive, giving me the bare minimum of acknowledgement.
We sit down at the window seat of a Gusto diner and order hot coffee. I watch her as we sip quietly and I think I can see what's going on. I get it.
"Are you with me?" I ask into our silence.
"What?" she asks, looking genuinely startled.
"Are you with me or not? I need you, but if you're not going to give me one hundred percent, then you can forget about it."
She looks at me with a look of concentration. I realise my words are a little sudden, perhaps ambiguous, but I trust her to be smart enough to catch what I mean.
"Yes, I'm with you. I'm just worried."
"Worried about what?" I demand.
She lets herself frown, looking angry with me, something I haven't seen in a while.
"Aya-chan, I don't like what you're doing. You're going down some sort of weird path that I understand, but don't approve of. You've become wild."
"What are you talking about? You're doing the same thing. You're taking all these steps with me," I snap back.
"No!" she interrupts me loudly and then lowers her voice. "Lying to the police and sneaking around behind their backs? Involving some poor nineteen-year-old boy to help you do your dirty work? Wanting to stalk these men Miki-chan was having meetings with because you think they might have killed her? Who are you, Aya?"
I stare back at her, my mind in a rage.
I thought she was my friend. I thought she promised to stand by me and help me out. Is she going to back out now?
"This is me, Shibata. This is me when my life has been ruined, ripped to shreds by murder. If you were in my position and you lost Miki, you'd be doing the same thing," I whisper harshly.
"Yeah, and if you were in my position, you'd be doing the same thing as I am - trying to talk some sense into you."
That silences me. I try to think.
"Listen," she says, her voice softening. "I just want to make sure you're going to be okay. I'm with you every step of the way because I want to be there for you. I just want you to promise me that you won't get so lost down this path of vengeance that you'll do something stupid to hurt yourself or your life."
I take a calming breath and remind myself that Shibata is still my friend. She might be paranoid that I'm going off my rocker, but I'll prove to her that I'm not. I'm perfectly fine. Depressed as hell, but not about to jump off a bridge or wash a bottle of painkillers down with a bottle of whiskey. I have a mission, and nothing will stop me from accomplishing it.
"I'm doing this to find her killers and make them face justice. I'm not going to hurt myself," I tell her calmly.
She nods, but I still feel like there's something lacking. I let it drop, though, because at least I've secured her on my side. That's what I need. Maybe in time she'll understand that this is the only way to go about doing what I have to do.
We continue to sip coffee in silence. She nods off and falls asleep, but I can't. I'm wide awake from the caffeine and anticipation. My drugs.
At two thirty, I shake her awake, and we pay the bill.
It's cold outside. We walk quickly and I'm thankful that Miki's apartment is near the station. Trying to stay in the shadows, we enter the apartment and ride up the elevator. I stay behind while Shibata goes ahead just in case the police are there. I watch as she turns the corner, and for a moment I feel like she's been swallowed up into some other world because I can't hear her footsteps. I'm relieved when I see her come back around the corner and wave at me that the coast is clear. I jog and catch up with her.
When we reach Miki's door, the reality of what we're about to do hits me. The reality of Miki's status is confirmed once again as I hold her key tightly in my hand. I can see Shibata look at me, but I don't look back. Instead, I reach into my pocket and pull out the same pairs of gloves I'd used this afternoon for myself and Tsuyoshi.
Shibata takes one pair and puts them on silently.
We're about to break into an apartment. The tenant is dead, and while I might have inherited all of her stuff, I'm not sure who exactly owns the property now. The actual apartment itself. Is it still under her name? Have her parents taken it over? Her company? Her landlord? The police? All I know is that what I'm doing is highly illegal.
And highly necessary.
I put the key into the hole, and with a silent prayer, I slowly turn it, twisting the doorknob and opening the door slowly. I walk in first, careful not to bump into anything.
Her home is in far less disorder than her office. It seems they've been a little more respectful about keeping it neat. A few things are out of place, but it looks like it's just messy. Like she's going to pop out from the bedroom at any moment and say "glad you could come over, you two. Help me clean!"
Shibata follows me in. I hit my hand over a light switch which Shibata promptly turns off again with a warning look. I nod sheepishly. Of course it would be strange if a dead girl's lights suddenly turned on in the middle of the night. If anyone were to be watching, they might raise some questions. For some reason, we don't speak. It feels like if we speak, the police will know we're here and jump out to arrest us. I point to the curtains, which are drawn closed.
Okay to open? I ask her with a look.
She replies with a nod.
I open the curtains, the light from the city brightening the room up considerably. It occurs to me that we've forgotten to bring flashlights. For the first time in my life, I regret that I don't have a habit of breaking into and entering homes.
I see Shibata take out her phone and use it as a flashlight.
Good thinking.
I do the same.
I go into Miki's bedroom. Everything is exactly the same. I touch the bed softly. It's been made hastily, as if she couldn't be bothered to spend time doing it properly since she knew she was going over to my place. I study her bookshelf intently, looking for any papers, but there's nothing. Unless I check every single page of every single book, this is the best I can do.
Her closet is wide open, so I go over to it. There's a whole variety of clothes hanging there, and some of mine, too. Of course the police don't know that. I look in and behind boxes, check some papers that are just sitting there, but upon inspecting them with the light from the display screen on my phone, I see that they're not important.
I move out of her bedroom and into the living room. Shibata is there looking through some papers, but she looks up at me and shakes her head. Nothing there. I sit down across from her and help her look through the folders she's got in front of her.
Bills, old receipts, and even a boarding pass stub from a flight to Australia (what a sentimental girl), but no meeting notes.
Shibata is reading something with interest, and she looks up at me. The strange lighting makes her look like a pale blue ghost.
"Were you really going to travel around the world together?" she asks me almost dreamily.
What is she talking about?
I frown and stick out my hand and she passes me the notebook she's reading. In it, Miki has written out an amazing itinerary for a trip around the world. She's listed a handful of countries on each continent. Under each country, she's listed all sorts of activities to do there. Some involve fun things like sightseeing and water sports, but some are a bit strange. Benefit concert in Rio de Janeiro, or meeting the leader of some country in Eastern Europe that I didn't know existed until now. She sure had big plans.
At the top of the page, she's got my name doodled in neat bubble letters, and she's drawn a heart around it. I flush with embarrassment because Shibata's seen that. Miki sometimes acts like a girl with a high school crush when she's around me. It's sweet because then she does cute things that I get a kick out of, but if other people see it, they might not take it seriously.
When I finish reading, I sigh. She'd always said she wanted to travel the world with me. I didn't know she'd dreamed up a plan like this. She must have been very bored one day. I look at it sadly and then hand it back to Shibata.
"You know, you always told me she was really thoughtful and focused when she wanted to do something, but now that I've seen it for myself..." she trails off and smiles. "It's very sweet. You're lucky."
Very sweet, but never again. All that sweetness of hers was drained away along with her life. Stolen from me by people who will pay.
"It's very sweet," I repeat, handing the notebook back.
Sensing I don't want to talk about it, Shibata puts the notebook down and moves on to the next.
It takes us a long time, but we go through every paper we can locate.
We find no valuable information. Nothing pertaining to any meetings outside of U-Con. Nothing naming her killers.
Another investigation that ends at a dead end.
Finally, at about four-thirty, we decide to leave. There's nothing here for me but memories. I'm drowning in them. The entire time I'm there, I keep expecting her to call out to me, or I imagine her sitting there with us and asking, "What are we looking for?"
I say goodbye to the place for now. I know I'll have to come back - with permission - in order to pick up her things. They have been left to me, after all.
Shibata and I go back to the same Gusto to keep warm and wait for the train station to open.
"Sorry I dragged you out here for this," I say, looking down at my cup of tea.
"No worries," Shibata says.
She's lightened up since we were last at this diner. It's probably because we've gotten away successfully with our little dalliance with the dark side of justice.
"What's our next step?"
I blink in surprise. She's lightened up more than I thought.
"Terrace café tomor- uh, today," I say quickly. "We need to stake it out, see if Mystery Man visits again. And we need to give Ochiai-san our numbers so that she can call us if he pops by."
"We? Not we. Me. I'm going to stake it out. You're not going in there. You're too well known," Shibata says firmly, reminding me of our plan.
I was just feeling like getting involved...
"Right, well, if you're okay with it..." I trail off.
"Yes, I'm fine," she says quickly. "We'll go this morning, then. Right when the shop opens."
It feels like we're back on the same wavelength. I think the trip to Miki's apartment has opened up her mind and made her see the reality as harshly as I have. Such a real, caring person has been murdered. Now her desire to find out who did it is stronger.
"When are you going to Hokkaido?" Shibata asks, interrupting my thoughts and changing the subject.
"Tomorrow morning," I say quietly. "My flight's at eleven."
She nods.
"Please give my respects to the family."
My turn to nod.
We fall into a silence. Not awkward, but not happy.
Funeral.
I still can't believe it.
We brood for far too long and miss the first train that will take us home. We leave the diner after five-thirty and walk to the station together. It's started to rain a little. Just a few stray drops, but it looks like it's going to be a gloomy day. Clouds cover the entire sky and it smells like a huge downpour is on its way.
"Want to come over to my place?" Shibata asks as we're riding the train.
I nod. I don't want to be alone right now.
We make it to her building just as the torrent begins. We get a little wet. We hurry into her apartment and decide quick showers are in order. She lets me go first, and she lends me some of her clothing.
I fall asleep on her couch while she's taking her shower. Some time later, I'm awoken by her calling out my name. I open up my eyes and see that I'm lying on her couch. She's put a blanket over me.
"What time is it?" I ask, rubbing my bleary eyes.
"It's almost ten. We should get ready and head to the café."
We do just that.
The place is empty when we walk in. The server tries to seat us, but we ask to speak to Ochiai. It's the same server from our last visit, and she looks at us with a "hah, you were the two girls that worried me last time" look. She must have found out that we weren't calling on Ochiai to complain about her service. She goes to get her boss for us.
"Good morning," Ochiai greets us.
We return the greeting, and the three of us sit down to talk.
Carefully, leaving out all illegal details, we explain to Ochiai that we want to meet the men that Miki had been meeting. However, we don't want them to know it. Ochiai asks how we propose to do it, and I tell her that Shibata will simply go in as often as possible and hang around. If the men ever come back, Ochiai will let Shibata know, and then Shibata can use her charm and intelligence to start talking to them.
Ochiai gives away nothing with her facial expression.
"That could be dangerous," she states calmly.
Shibata knows.
"I know. But there's no other way," she says.
I'm relieved to hear her say that.
"We were wondering if we could leave our numbers with you, Ochiai-san," I say. "Shiba-chan might not be able to be here all the time, but if those men ever do come back, it would be great if you could call her or me..."
Without a word, and with perfect timing that must be a sign that what we are doing is right, Ochiai sticks her hand and pickpockets the server walking by, taking her pen and pad of paper without her even noticing.
Shibata and I look at each other and crack smiles. Ochiai is certainly an enigma.
We dictated our numbers and e-mail addresses, and she rips the piece of paper off the pad and sticks it in her pocket.
"I assume nobody is to know about this."
Shibata and I nod emphatically.
"Will that be a problem?" Shibata asks.
"No. My husband might ask why I have the name of a famous idol entered in my phone, but those questions can easily be avoided," she says with a mysterious smile.
The enigmatic woman suddenly grows a layer. She's got a husband. I wonder what else we can learn about her. Unfortunately, today is not the day to learn. Six customers enter within the space of five minutes, and we have to split up. Shibata and I vacate the table and thank Ochiai graciously. We leave the café, passing by a poor server who is now looking desperately through her pockets for the pen and pad she could have sworn she had on her.
Finally, something has gone our way.
We spend the next few hours together. We grab a quick lunch and talk about Miki. It's inevitable. I can't stop talking about her. I'm probably driving Shibata nuts with my inability to find another topic, but I need to relive it all. All the memories. I need to talk about her as much as possible so that I don't forget anything.
When the time comes, we say goodbye. She wishes me a good flight in the morning, and I tell her to mail me with any news. We share a look before parting, and for a brief moment, I think that everything will be okay.
The bitter, lost, hopeless, grieved feeling in me has to tone down someday.
Right?
Topic: Love x 2 (the entire series) [easy navigation on 1st page] Complete (Read 69440 times)