Enjoy friends!
Chapter 18
Key of heart
She strolled along the coastline of the deserted beach and admired the descending sun transforming the colours of the coast into its preferred yellow and orange while enveloping its emptiness with faded warmth. Taking in a deep breath, she recalled the previous time when she stepped onto this soft sand. There was a little boy who was carrying a ball bigger than the size of his own head and she crafted her name on the sand with the help of a twig. Hours turned into days and then into weeks but the pathetic state of this beach didn’t turn for the better despite the approaching summer. Perhaps this was an indication that some things just wouldn’t change no matter how hard one tried or how long it took which depicted her fate. When she visited the beach the last time round, things did turn better but somehow the female’s intuition told her that it wouldn’t be the same this time even though she secretly prayed for a miracle.
The waves swept up the coast leaving in their wake white foams before they retreated back into the sea out of trepidation. The approaching high tide seemed to be chasing her away from the beach as the fine sand seeped into her exquisite high heels along with the swash. Knowing that she had to leave because of the tight schedule that she had, she closed her eyes as she enjoyed the last of the sea breeze before murmuring to herself, “I’m leaving, good bye.” The backwash brought the waves and particles back into the sea along with drops of her tears.
As she made her way back, she picked up a twig and craved elegantly on the sand, “G-o-t-o M-a-k-i”. She watched the waves swept away her name in the distance and made a silent promise yet again that she wouldn’t visit this deserted beach again in her life.
She left the beach as slowly as she could and plodded back to her quiet apartment. The calming effect that she hoped to receive from this visit didn’t shroud her mind. In fact, she felt even more stranded than before. As she made her way to the empty apartment which she called home, eyes turned in her direction and some even ogled. She pretended to have seen and heard nothing and she decided that she shouldn’t take the small alley that she had planned to take previously. Somehow she couldn’t understand how attractive a girl could look in T-shirt and jeans without make-up.
As she took the key and opened the door to her apartment, she saw an extra pair of shoes lying on her shoe rack. Her legs wobbled and she staggered the few steps past the door. Just as expected, the television set was switched on and the lone viewer was lying on the couch asleep. She gingered her way to the red plush couch so as not to wake the intruder up. As she approached the couch, she felt that the limited courage that she had managed to muster from the trip to the beach had diminished in great amounts until the point that she felt completely weak again.
The intruder stirred in her sleep and somehow the relentless stare caused her to open her sleepy eyes. Immediately, upon initial recognition of the identity of her lover, she sat up quickly and apologized, “Sorry, Maki. I was waiting for you but I became tired. I hadn’t had a good night rest for a week because of the tour. Never mind, at least tonight-”
Maki interrupted rudely, “Oh, it is ok.” An unfamiliar and uncomfortable silence fell between them and Maki quickly reacted by asking uncharacteristically, “So how was the tour?”
“Fine, it was great fun. It was such a waste that you weren’t there. I didn’t mean the concert but that I missed you a lot in the past week. Maki, what’s for dinner tonight?”
“I haven’t thought of it yet,” Maki replied matter-of-factly and sat on the sofa at the far corner of the room with her legs crossed gracefully.
“Never mind, anyway, I watched your live already. You are really good at dancing. But, Maki,” Aya’s facial expression immediately became serious and she added, “Somehow, I just can’t stand those strangers touching you. Maybe it’s just jealousy but can you change your style?”
“What’s wrong with it? At least it was done in a professional manner whereas you and Miki always look as though you’re going to bed after performance.”
“Maki, what’s with the strong reaction?”
Maki didn’t reply. Instead, her thoughts had wandered off and this line repeatedly played itself in her mind, “You make a clean cut from her…you know what will happen if you don’t obey.”
Aya’s tone changed and she spoke seriously, “Maki, you’re not yourself today. What’s wrong with you?”
Maki smiled forcibly and replied, “Nothing, I think I’m probably exhausted.”
“Maybe you should nap first. I will fix the dinner in the meantime-”
“I want some time on my own.”
“Maki-”
“Please.”
“Maki, I will be back very soon,” Aya declared and then she stood up and proceeded to the washroom where she washed her face. Watching the beads of water dripping down from her cheeks, she thought of changing her clothes but then decided against it because of the strange atmosphere that didn’t quite encourage it. She peeked out of the tiny opening between the toilet door and the wall and saw Maki staring blankly into space. She wondered aloud to herself, “What had happened? Did I anger her accidentally? Is it just today or is it because Maki-” She couldn’t bear to imagine Maki in the arms of another person. Shaking her head vigorously, she hoped that the horrendous thought could be thrown out of her mind but she couldn’t help but to imagine that. Maki,” Aya whispered softly, “why not let’s bathe together?”
Maki turned her head around, smiled and replied firmly, “Sorry, it’s not convenient today.”
“Why not? Miki and I-”
Maki blasted out, “That’s Fujimoto Miki! I am Goto Maki!”
Aya strode towards Maki and said apologetically, “Sorry, I didn’t mean that. I understand that 2 of you are different-”
“That’s beside the point.”
“But-”
“Aya,” Maki softened and for the first time that day she called Aya by her name. “I’ve something to tell you.” Aya walked over and sat beside her. “We really don’t know each other well enough. And these few days, I have been thinking and I realize that I treat you only as a friend and nothing else.”
“Maki, I can change anything for you. I swear.”
Maki didn’t predict Aya to be so infatuated to such an extent. For the second time in that day, she doubted her ability to judge her own attractiveness. It didn’t matter whether she appeared peeved off on the streets or gentle with Aya, the result was the same --- She had achieved something that she shouldn’t and didn’t want to. “Aya, I’m grateful for that but you are only a friend to me.”
“You mean you never feel anything towards me?” This time it was Aya who was raising her voice.
“Nothing more than what a friend feels towards another.” Her heart ached with every single word she spoke and she prayed that Aya would stop bombarding her with such questions that she didn’t dare to answer so that a day of reconciliation between them would be possible.
“Not even those nights we spent together?” Tears brimmed her eyes as she waited for the expected reply.
Maki was taken aback by the question but she didn’t show her shock and replied firmly, “No. We’re only friends. Don’t indulge yourself further with those weird thoughts.”
“Is it because in my absence, you have fallen for another person?” Aya was unable to leave those questions hanging in the air.
“No, nothing has happened. I just sorted my thoughts in the past week and this is what I derived at. I’m a hundred per cent sure that I feel this way.” Aya instantly broke down and tears streamed down her cheeks like a running tap. Maki placed her right hand on Aya’s shoulder and said sincerely, “I’m sorry, Aya.”
Aya dashed out of the room without even looking back and this resembled the first night Aya spent in Maki’s house. The silence of the room was both deafening and mocking and her sobs echoed the whole apartment. Maki fell onto the sofa and she couldn’t help but to ask herself over and over again, “Why can’t we just be friends? I’m not asking you more, God.” No answers came and sleepless nights that followed didn’t provide her with answers as well.
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“It’s rare for you to call me out for a private date,” Yossie remarked as she sat next to her friend on the sofa in her apartment. It’s rare for Miki to invite anyone to her house except her dearest friend, Aya. Wearing shorts and an ordinary T-shirt, Yossie crossed her legs as she waited for Miki to initiate a conversation.
Miki chided, “Stop joking, get to the point.”
“What point? You were the one who invited me out.”
“Come on, don’t act dumb. You are going to tell me the agenda behind what the whole gang of you is doing.”
“Not that again. Miki, I can’t possibly tell you,” Yossie paused before speaking in a serious voice, “You’ll get into trouble.”
“This is enough. I thought I was smart enough to guess what you guys were up to but I am not. I found out that day that the other of your accomplice lies in MM but I want and need to know the agenda.”
“What’s the point of knowing?”
Miki paused before answering, “Since some time ago I’ve already found out about all these – the accident, the GAM formation. But I chose to keep it a secret because I want to know what will happen after that. Nothing happens so I want you to tell me now what the heck you are up to. This is the 3rd time I’m asking you. Fujimoto Miki won’t repeat any statements for more than three times.” With that Miki took out a fruit knife which was initially hidden under the sofa and placed the blunt part on Yossie’s right inner thigh.
“What are you trying to do?” Yossie raised her voice.
“You know how fast my wrist can turn right? If you try to do anything funny, I’ll stab you. By the way, I just sharpen this yesterday.”
Yossie thought for a moment before saying, “I guess I’ve no choice but to tell you before Fujimoto flares up and kills me. That someone else is Tanaka Reina.” Miki didn’t seem shocked by the identity. “She hates you and wants to kick you out of MM and make you suffer as well. She did it by using Maki to make you jealous so that you will cling onto GAM and leave MM. In the process, I think Goto did a good job to make you suffer.”
“So GAM was formed full-term just to make me leave MM?”
“Yes.”
“Why did Maki and you join in?”
“Maki hated Aya because Aya’s singles outsold hers and to Maki, it seems that Aya did it without even trying. Therefore, she joined the project and went to knock her down. Reina thinks that if Aya dies or suffers from amnesia, you will leave H!P and MM due to devastation but you didn’t. That’s when we decided Plan B.”
“What about you?” Miki’s heart sank as she waited for an answer.
“She knows we are close and I’ll persuade you to stay in MM so she brainwashed me into thinking you are the worst sub-leader MM has seen and the later generations will suffer under your hands if you would to become leader. I join her for the sake of Morning Musume because I can foresee all the scoldings and insults the future MM members would get from you as a leader. But I never hate you as a person; I only dislike your leadership.” Yossie let out a short laugh as she completed her sentence.
“Bullshit. You were brainwashed by a junior. This is totally bizarre. By the way, I hate backstabbers.” Suddenly, Miki felt dumb to have confided in Yossie a few days ago.
“I’m sorry Miki. Other than encouraging you to form a full-term GAM, everything else that I said to you was done because of our friendship.”
“Friends don’t backstab. Get this clear in your head. Why hurt Aya?”
“She doesn’t want to dirty her hands and I can’t possibly do the job because 2 of you are good friends to me especially you. So we decided to ‘subcontract’ it to anyone who hates either of you to do the job. It’s just unfortunate that we found Maki who hated Aya to the core.”
“So Aya was knocked down because you want to chase me out of MM? Bloody hell.”
“I told you all these primarily because I don’t want you to get hurt even more. I’m trying to protect you. Reina is terribly ruthless and if she knows that you know about it, she might get me to kill you or something. So now that you know it, please keep your mouth shut. I’m not afraid of that stupid knife.”
“You are full of shit. I’ll kill you and that stupid junior.”
“I guess as much.”
“Now I know what’s going on in that stinking head of yours. Thank you for connecting the picture for me and I’m going to make your project fail.”
“Go on, Miki, go on. You’ll end up losing a lot and don’t blame me if she has a new set of plans.”
“Listen up, Yoshizawa, I’m not Goto Maki whom you can control. I am Fujimoto Miki. When I say I will do it, I will. You may go now.”
Yossie stood up and left the apartment without saying goodbye to someone she had regarded as friend a few days ago. She thought, “I like her willpower. But sorry, Fujimoto, you can’t do anything to us. Not Reina and me. Please don’t try if you value your life.”