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Author Topic: STORIES OF US --- [All I Want For Christmas] Xmas One-shot -- 27/DECEMBER  (Read 37828 times)

Offline kuro808

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Re: STORIES OF US --- [Secret Admirer] UPDATE /Prologue 11/27
« Reply #20 on: November 26, 2010, 07:34:49 PM »
Incredible start :thumbsup

Gaki seems rather confused on trying to pursue Ai however, Ai has mind control :lol:
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Offline kano-chan

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Re: STORIES OF US --- [Secret Admirer] UPDATE /Prologue 11/27
« Reply #21 on: November 27, 2010, 01:09:50 AM »
Eh? What sort of memories? Is it about the letter? :mon dunno: hmmm...So Ai-chan can control the mind.. Did Gaki find out in the past or something? :on ksweat:

And is that TanaGaki I just read about? :mon scare:

I like it! Very interesting! :twothumbs

Offline gracula

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Re: STORIES OF US --- [Secret Admirer] UPDATE /Prologue 11/27
« Reply #22 on: November 27, 2010, 01:45:16 PM »
Yes!!! Sweet!

I love the premise of this entire story (not just the mind control secks part). I've certainly had my fair share of admiring people from a distance and harboring secret crushes. Its really fascinating to profile the psyche of someone who would go to the extent of confessing their love by writing to their beloved anonymously. Its probably just as difficult to write that anonymous letter, as it is to confess verbally, isn't it?

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Ai twitches as she attempts to observe all this steadily, before a violent rush of blood to her head sends her vision careening, makes her almost tipsy. It’s as though her senses have been plunged under hot water, everything’s rippling around her in coiling waves, and then starts the insane thudding of her heart in her ears.  Quickly, she finds a grip on herself, wills the faintness to dissipate. Whatever words she had ready to offer Risa dries on her lips.


The fear of being found out. Absolutely fantastic description of that feeling. It is, oddly enough, the same rush one would get when you get when (a) someone confesses their attraction to you, and (b) when you get the pre-breakup 'we have to talk'.

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There’s a glint in the bean’s eyes as she appraises Ai for a lingering moment, almost in an appreciatory way. “I might just.” The moment ends with a weary sigh as Risa fiddles with her study lamp to turn it off.

This is really interesting. I wonder if this is the first time Risa's looked at Ai like that, or if its a residual psychic imprint?

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No doubt Ai had been too hasty; she should have known better. She should have tested out her abilities on a smaller scale (and involving more trivial things) in order to gauge properly just to what extent she could control a mind and then wipe the associated memories. It was one mammoth risk she’d taken to try something of this nature with Risa on the very first go.

Rash, yes, foolish, even more so. But Ai had felt so brazen tonight, as if the revelation of her powers and its harmony with her very core had imbued her with a new personality. The rush of confidence that had come with it was staggering – but it’s all dulling now, her vigour, that gusto that had driven her to such lengths. What’s left in her is a hollowness she can’t stamp out.

I totally get that- if I found out suddenly that I had superpowers, I'm not going to wait for Professor X to assess me before I start using them.

This post-event dissonance is very realistic. What remains to be seen is if these moments would just get easier, or more agonizing.

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Some part of her had awakened tonight, but some part of her had died too, to give way to this proud new presence. Now tainted in irreparable ways: her innocence, her deep-rooted desire never to cause trouble or harm, no matter how slight. The line that once seemed so distant and unreachable had now been crossed, and not so subtly either. She’d taken a blind step beyond her social confines, or at least what she believed to be her social confines, and now found herself wallowing in the depths of the unfamiliar.

Things too deep and dark for her to have previously dipped a toe in… things like betrayal and corruption, things she’d thought she would never have to concern herself over in this quiet, unspectacular life of hers. All in a single, unsuspecting night.

That night, her life changed forever.

Absolute power corrupts absolutely. I'd love to see the ethical conflict in this new Ai-chan.

Thank you for writing this, Bee. Looking forward to more.

I will now go fantasize about what happened before the "night time hush".

"I'm still blaming Sayu for my lolicon tendencies now." ~Essy

Offline Tightrope

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Re: STORIES OF US --- [Secret Admirer] UPDATE /Prologue 11/27
« Reply #23 on: November 27, 2010, 04:38:53 PM »
 :cow: :cow: PROLOGUE :cow: :cow:

I love that dancing cow icon  XD
 
I came at light speed when you told me you updated.  I scrolled down and down and down until I saw the header, only to make sure. Then I went all "Kyaaah it's here, it's here for realz~~ omg even the letters of the header are pretty omg I wanna read, I wanna read right now" fangirled like a little kid  and finally I scrolled up up up up again and began reading  XD

The Broken Angels one - if I plan to drop it altogether, I'll still tell you about the story, so no worries. ^_____^

Woho~ I'll remember those words. But I hope you don't have to drop it :nervous 

I've spent the last few days making necessary preparations and lots of shopping for my upcoming holiday. I'll be out of Australia from the beginning of December and return sometime halfway through Jan next year... I'll still try to update and respond when I can of course, but I'll probably be a bit more rushed (and absent xD) than usual.
I said you already but I'll say it again anyway. Have lots of fun! :cow: Your only worry should be enjoying yourself while you are there. We'll be waiting for you here when you get back~ But of course, I won't complain if you insist in updating once in a while  :roll:

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I feel that my writing here is rather heavy-handed... and perhaps not as accessible to English language learners? >.< I'm always worried that it will be hard for learners to grasp, and I know that we have a few handfuls of these learners here at JPH!P. I'll try to tone it down a little in the successive chapters, which should also help to speed up the updates.  :)

In fact, I noticed that too. But I think you shouldn't worry too much. In general, you can understand the meaning,  even for words you have never seen before, thanks to context they are in. If not, that's why dictionaries exists. Think you are helping people to improve their English XD But jokes aside, I think the whole chapter it's pretty understatable, maybe with a couple of words that aren't that common (I'm talking about what I'm used to see, maybe for other people is a different story), but I didn't see a problem there. But  just stick with what feels more comfortable when you are writing.

Question:
Do you prefer to have longer chapters but slower updates ... or shorter chapters but quicker updates?

Hmmm I would like to know first... how is a short chapter and how is a long chapter for you? I usually like long chapters, even if I have to wait a little more. I think it helps you getting into the story (of course, there is always writers who know how to throw yourself there even with one line).  There is people who feel lazy when they see a lot of words together but for me, the longer, the better XD I love reading good stuff :heart:

But, as I said before,  whatever make you feel it's easier to write and more adecuate for each chapter it's ok.

And for the prologue :heart: I like it a lot.

I'm warning you, there is heavy fangirling and no sense speculations ahead. Read at your own risk.

I really wanted to quote the header, because it's pretty, and it's red and it's black, and... have I said it's pretty? I know there are only letters, but they are pretty letters dammit! I won't quote because I would feel like spamming, but I had to tell you. So there.

Talking about letters... I like how do you start the fic with that letter. Maybe we'll have a new letter with each chapter? Or is this the only one? But it makes me wonder... when did Ai write that letter? Before she even began to use mind control powers, or after that? In the prologue we really don't know if Gaki has read it yet, because she didn't mention it.So maybe she didn't read it yet, or maybe she read it and she will mention it later.

BUT THEN.

If this happened before Ai-chan decided to use mind control, did Gaki reply? Did not? Did her actions encourage Ai to do what she did?

And if this happened after... why then? Is a way for Ai to deal with her conflicted feelings? Conflicted feelings -> I love you but I'm almost raping you but I'm feeling way too guilty but I don't think I can stop now but please dont hate me? XD Is she trying to approach normally Gaki in top of controlling her every now and then?

Am I just thinking too much without reaching a coherent conclusion? Definitely  yes  :sweat:

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I guess I’ve reached the point where if I don’t somehow get my feelings across to you, I might just lose it… I might lose everything.
I blame that line for all the ranting above. It's bothering me way too much, it can means nothing, but it can means so much too... And I know, I know, I overthink about insignificant details and then miss the big hints XD My head is weird like that.

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“Did that Tanaka stop by and have her way with me while I was sleeping?” Risa asks with a cocked eyebrow, voice hovering between peeved and light-hearted; she isn’t entirely sure if she means to joke. 

Wait, what?  :shocked: That means we have TanaGaki here? TanaGaki?? OMG. This is the first time I saw this pairing, I think. And I'm hoping to see Reina with an important role in this fic! Aside from being "the girlfriend", I mean.  Cool... now I really want to be Reina the one who catches Ai-chan doing nasty things. I mean if this make me a bad person? XD

Please, please, can we have some Reina?  :heart:

I absolutely love clueless Gaki trying to find out if there is something wrong with herself while Ai's fears are almost eating her alive.

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Ai twitches as she attempts to observe all this steadily, before a violent rush of blood to her head sends her vision careening, makes her almost tipsy. It’s as though her senses have been plunged under hot water, everything’s rippling around her in coiling waves, and then starts the insane thudding of her heart in her ears.  Quickly, she finds a grip on herself, wills the faintness to dissipate. Whatever words she had ready to offer Risa dries on her lips.

The fear of being found out. Absolutely fantastic description of that feeling. It is, oddly enough, the same rush one would get when you get when (a) someone confesses their attraction to you, and (b) when you get the pre-breakup 'we have to talk'.

^ That's EXACTLY what I was thinking.  It's curious how our feelings work, uh?

The 'we have to talk' is the worst. Even if in the end it don't result in a pre-breakup, never fail to make me feel real fear for what is going to happen in that 'talk'.   


I wonder how will be Ai able to do it again, even when Gaki is clearly giving signs that she hasn't totally forgot. 

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There’s a glint in the bean’s eyes as she appraises Ai for a lingering moment, almost in an appreciatory way.

This this. If Gaki start now showing interest in Ai-chan, wouldn't that be due the "forgotten memories" with her? Or maybe those memories are just "helping" her to realize her true and undying love she actually likes Ai.

I DONT KNOW AND I'M CONFUSING MYSELF BUT I WANT MOAR.

And btw, Gaki seems pretty worn out. I mean, she's even testing if she can walk properly. I can't help myself but wonder for how long did Ai keep her mind control on Gaki for keep doing... you know XD I get the feeling poor Risa is going to be quite restless lately and she won't even know why :lol: :lol:

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Some part of her had awakened tonight, but some part of her had died too, to give way to this proud new presence. Now tainted in irreparable ways: her innocence, her deep-rooted desire never to cause trouble or harm, no matter how slight. The line that once seemed so distant and unreachable had now been crossed, and not so subtly either. She’d taken a blind step beyond her social confines, or at least what she believed to be her social confines, and now found herself wallowing in the depths of the unfamiliar.

Things too deep and dark for her to have previously dipped a toe in… things like betrayal and corruption, things she’d thought she would never have to concern herself over in this quiet, unspectacular life of hers. All in a single, unsuspecting night.

That night, her life changed forever.

And with that Ai-chan started walking the "evil" path ~

She seemed to feel more fear than regret at first, but she definitely knows she has crossed THE line. Now she can't go back.

Fear + Ethnical conflicts = OH THE DRAMA assured.

And even if the fear factor goes away, something I don't see happening at all with Gaki being that perceptive, she still have to deal with all those dark emotions. Can Ai really manage all that? And I don't even want to think what will happen when the secret comes out, omg.

Poor, poor, Ai-chan. What just got yourtself into? And why we couldn't see it XD ? I want TakaGaki hotness! :drool:

I'm really curious how are you going to develop the plot from here. At least I know in the end isn't going to be a yay we all are happy ~ happy ending!. Some people are going to be scarred for life here :cry: Ah~ the angst  :heart: I love it.
 
I have to say you really impressed me with some descriptions in this chapter, Bee :heart: And with your writing in general. Loved it  :heart:

I hope this rant makes sense somehow. Keep up the good work!

It would have been fun seeing tsundere Reina in that role though...
That's one of the reasons I love ReinAi. The kitty being tsundere is  :wub:

Maybe we can still have some tsundere Reina, even if it's with Gaki...?  XD

I will now go fantasize about what happened before the "night time hush".

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:  :rofl:

I love you, grac  :heart:

Can't wait for more. I want chapter one soon!

Offline kawaii beam

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Re: STORIES OF US --- [Secret Admirer] UPDATE /Prologue 11/27
« Reply #24 on: November 27, 2010, 05:13:04 PM »
D: bee where the heck have u been all my life??  :O :shocked like seriously this is epic! 1st u draw me in with the fact that u have a thread now...then u make epic banners to go with it(which i will seriously ask tuts for XD) then u go and make epic summaries and tehn u give me a thing that has all of teh previous AND TAKAGAKI WITH SLIGHT(huge) PERVENESS?! :bow:
thankyou X3

now...ai ia halla screwed if risa finds out i belive..and i think she doesnt realise that what the mind cant remember the body probably will XDD and i wants reina in this too~ X3 i cant wait for more and i cant wait to see how ai'll change in this since it seems this is just a ticking time bomb...also

i cant wait for a perv :P
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Offline gracula

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Re: STORIES OF US --- [Secret Admirer] UPDATE /Prologue 11/27
« Reply #25 on: November 27, 2010, 06:17:21 PM »

^ That's EXACTLY what I was thinking.  It's curious how our feelings work, uh?

Of course, great minds.

Well, since we delurked about the same time, I consider ourselves doukie members- you know I love you, too.  :P And Bee can be our sempai.  :bow:

(Sweets, since I quoted on your reply, I noticed that you have some text in 1pt size- might wanna modify that, yeah?)

I forgot to respond to this:

I've spent the last few days making necessary preparations and lots of shopping for my upcoming holiday. I'll be out of Australia from the beginning of December and return sometime halfway through Jan next year... I'll still try to update and respond when I can of course, but I'll probably be a bit more rushed (and absent xD) than usual.


If you swing past Malaysia, you're very welcome to the use of my guest room.

Quote
I feel that my writing here is rather heavy-handed... and perhaps not as accessible to English language learners? >.< I'm always worried that it will be hard for learners to grasp, and I know that we have a few handfuls of these learners here at JPH!P. I'll try to tone it down a little in the successive chapters, which should also help to speed up the updates.  :)


Also, feedback of any kind would be greatly appreciated. Discuss, speculate, critque... I'd love to know what you guys think and what I can do better.  :thumbsup


Question:
Do you prefer to have longer chapters but slower updates ... or shorter chapters but quicker updates?

I'm having the same dilemma myself- quantity over quality (my chapters can't possibly get any shorter, though :lol:). But I'm such a wordophile that I'd end up agonizing over each turn of phrase I crank out. I think you should find your own rhythm and follow that- you're the author and your craft is the reflection of your emotions and thoughts. You could write an entire chapter filled with four-dollar words, or just single syllables to match the mood of your piece. Do what you will- we await with bated breath.

 :thumbsup Good luck.

"I'm still blaming Sayu for my lolicon tendencies now." ~Essy

Offline SarangAi

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Re: STORIES OF US --- [Secret Admirer] UPDATE /Prologue 11/27
« Reply #26 on: November 27, 2010, 07:20:17 PM »
OMG this is GOOD.  I'm like, shaking with joy right now and fist-pumping.  My cousin is asking if I need to go to the hospital. :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :cow:

So Ai-chan has mind control powers.... HM, what could she have made Gaki-san do that night??  :twisted: :twisted:

I'm so looking forward to updates.  AWESOMESAUCE :cow:


ps- I'd say shorter chapters and frequent updates, so we know you're alive :lol:  But I have no right to say that :nervous

avii&sig by the wonderful kawaii beam~!

Offline StephanyLee

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Re: STORIES OF US --- [Secret Admirer] UPDATE /Prologue 11/27
« Reply #27 on: November 29, 2010, 06:05:01 AM »
Oh mai gaw~!!! It's here!!! It's here!!! Oh mai gaw!!!   :cow:  That was awesome!!!!!!  :twothumbs  :panic:

Ok, now that i'm a little calm let's reply "properly"  :P

Steph! Weren't expecting you to drop in, but thanks for your interest. :)

Of course i'll be interesting after all we're talking about the great Bee here!! ^^

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... but have no fear, I have something that I would like to dedicate to you sometime down the road...  :grin:
really?!! OMG! oh mai gaw! Can't wait  :wriggly:

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Can't guarantee anything but I'll try!  :heart:
I most definitely think you will, after reading that prologue ^^. You're doing an awesome job  :thumbsup. Besides you really love writing and that shows so I'm pretty sure this story will be phenomenal  :P

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(And this reminds me, I still have to begin catching up with your AiEri one-shots!  XD)
So do you still remember that huh?  :mon impatient: It's been a while but is ok if you don't want to  :mon hanky: i'll just be here and wait and... keep posting one-shots you won't read  :mon runcry:

ok forget my little drama xD but yeah don't worry about it .. much :P

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I'll be out of Australia from the beginning of December and return sometime halfway through Jan next year... I'll still try to update and respond when I can of course, but I'll probably be a bit more rushed (and absent xD) than usual.
But you won't abandon us right?  :cry: .... that's all that matter, and have fun~!

Quote
I feel that my writing here is rather heavy-handed... and perhaps not as accessible to English language learners? >.< I'm always worried that it will be hard for learners to grasp, and I know that we have a few handfuls of these learners here at JPH!P. I'll try to tone it down a little in the successive chapters, which should also help to speed up the updates.  :)
In fact, I noticed that too. But I think you shouldn't worry too much. In general, you can understand the meaning,  even for words you have never seen before, thanks to context they are in. If not, that's why dictionaries exists. Think you are helping people to improve their English XD But jokes aside, I think the whole chapter it's pretty understatable, maybe with a couple of words that aren't that common (I'm talking about what I'm used to see, maybe for other people is a different story), but I didn't see a problem there. But  just stick with what feels more comfortable when you are writing.
Quoted 'cause that was exactly what I was going to say.
Also I really like that way you write made it so easily to read throughout the whole prologue without losing the essence and also pictured everything that was going on as well as the feelings. you really got me since the first line v^^

Question:
Do you prefer to have longer chapters but slower updates ... or shorter chapters but quicker updates?
I'd say longer chapter so that gives me time to force myself to comment xD but at the end i think it totally depends on you, like gracula said i think is best for you to find your own rhythm.  :yep:


So...

That letter was creepy sweet ^^ and no yeah for TakaGaki but yeah for one side love XD and...
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Ai chuckles uneasily. Something squeezes inside then, painfully, like a fist, something that hates how easily Risa is able to talk about her and Reina in that way.
Did I just read a little TanaGaki here?!!!  :w00t: *oh please please, even a little, please!*

Listen carefully Ai, with great power comes great responsibility.
I say it before and i'll say it again. I really really love the way you write. Going through Ai's emotions ... *sigh* ... can't wait for the first chapter more drama and angst  :farofflook:
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Offline badsaints

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Re: STORIES OF US --- [Secret Admirer]
« Reply #28 on: November 29, 2010, 02:05:11 PM »
@baddie:

It's YOU!  :shocked: Lol, I'm ashamed to say I didn't notice that you'd come back  :sweatdrop:

Welcome back!  :jphip:

Last time you said there were things you needed to deal with first before you could concentrate on your fics~ I hope you've been well, and that life isn't treating you so harshly. I'd also love to see you update your Fairy Tale fic.

But thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment; I'm happy to hear that you're intrigued by the story idea. It's what I'm aiming for, after all. Thanks!  :heart:
Life couldn't be better for me, thank you very much :) That is, if I didn't have to fly so much for work (and leisure :lol:) which ironically is the best time to catch up with the fics :P


But it's a little disappointing not to see more explicit support for our writers here.  :thumbdown:
True. Comments are much appreciated by the writers and keep them going, though I'm guilty myself for being a lurker :nervous


On the Prologue...
OMG WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?! *being a drama queen* LOL that was exaggerating but this is _______! Haha I have no words simply because this is beyond awesome. And it's just the prologue? Okay you got me sold :inlove: *sits patiently for the first chapter*

Offline Beecubed

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Re: STORIES OF US --- [A Little Faith] ONESHOT~ 12/14
« Reply #29 on: December 13, 2010, 07:52:19 PM »
Okay... so comment replies later and fic responses later too (so many fics to catch up with now! Thanks guys! X__X).

I thought I'd have the time to just sit and write stuff and update as usual, but NO. Not happening.  XD
Am having way too much fun.

Yes grac, I just came back to Vietnam from a short trip to Malaysia. Finally out of that oven of a place.  :P Nah, was wonderful. Shopping and Sunway Lagoon.  :heart:

Having fun is really exhausting, especially if you're overseas and the fun never ceases. By the time I get back to the hotel, I'm dead beat and my eyes close the moment my head hits the pillow. So I think Secret Admirer will need to be put on hold until I get back to Australia... or at least, I'll probably only have the first chapter done for the month.

In the meantime, since the graduation is oh so close, here's a little something.

This is a very messy piece I wrote a day after the graduation announcements. I was feeling lots of things back then, and so decided to pour everything out in writing. I really needed it to deal with my feelings xD From Sayu's perspective, because I could only think - KAMESHIGE! *sob sob sob* - for a very long time. I wasn't planning to post this initially, but thought about it for a while beforehand (doing plenty of editing), and now I feel kind of bad for not updating Secret Admirer, so I hope this is okay for now. It's a little messy like I said, and there's no plotline or anything. It's just emotion.  :cry:

Hope to get more time to hang around next time!  :jphip:

Good day, friends, and take care of your lovely selves.  :love:



Kamei Eri forever.  :heart:






A   L i t t l e   F a i t h



The members graduating at the end of the year are…


Jun Jun.


Lin Lin.


Kamei Eri.


***



Kamei Eri…

After Tsunku releases the final name, the magnitude of the news doesn’t register at first. Not until a second or two later when our minds begin catching up, assembling sense, when we finally grasp the weight of his words.

My breath stops as a clammy tide of panic spills over. In an instant, everything around me seems surreal, everything that’s going on, all the fuss, the subdued murmuring, the stunned looks mirrored on every other face. Nothing is real anymore.

The room’s collapsing beneath me, and I’m light-headed, smothered by the waves of nausea passing through me, one after the other, before I’m completely numb, and then begins the buzzing off my head, the questions, the rising uncertainties. I can sense Eri’s determination to avoid my eyes. Even more strongly, I can sense the flickering glances the other members are giving me from the corners of their eyes.

It’s strange, they are probably thinking, that Michishige Sayumi is only finding out about Kamei Eri’s graduation wish now.

Because Eri tells me everything. Or so I had thought. This announcement is a revelation – it’s completely unexpected. While Eri had often complained about the stress she was going through and her plans to call it quits, I’d never once thought the day would come when her words became truth, crashing down on me like this and crushing every notion I had of living the rest of my Morning Musume dream with her.

Sayu, I hate this. Look how much I’m sweating! My skin’s getting so irritated. I’m going to leave Morning Musume tomorrow and find a cure for myself!

Eri would say such things in a cutely grumpy voice. She’d said something along these lines during concerts over many years, but nothing ever eventuated. Eri’s complaints gradually began to drown into the background, no longer ominous, no longer causing me undue stress as it had in the beginning. The last time I’d heard the complaints must have been during the Platinum 9 Disco concerts.

She’s been too quiet since. I should have known something was up. I should have seen this coming. But being the person that I am, so hopeless in situations that really matter, I have missed the signs altogether. And for being unable to catch onto them, I now cannot forgive myself.

Sayu, I hate this…

Her words back then begin to feed into my thoughts, my consciousness, parading down the deep recesses of my mind. Mocking, reminding, agonising in its intent to overwhelm me, to break me.

It’s a boy, isn’t it? I’m tempted to blurt out. Because that would somehow be more bearable than losing Eri to a skin condition. This skin condition that I have known about for a long time, but never paid any mind to, convinced it was something trite. It makes me so much guiltier, having known all along and having failed to take it seriously. It’s entirely my fault now that Eri’s decision to leave comes to me as such a shock.

After Tsunku exits the meeting room and leaves us to recover from the mammoth news, as expected, there’s an unpleasant moment of hushed tension before the room becomes one heated interchange of reaction. Every one of us slips on a mask of polite composure while trying to maintain what idol exuberance we have left in us in the face of such news. Ai-chan makes a big show of pulling us together in a huddle; she begins meting out her congratulations and cheering on the would-be graduates – the rest of us have no option but to take her lead.

But, of course, I can see right through it. None of us are happy, that much is clear. The illusion that we had gradually been sucked into, of the eight of us becoming something of a fixed unit… shattered in an instant. Like a splash of ice cold water across us, we’ve been shaken awake.

Three members.

Why does it have to be three? One graduating from our group is painful enough, but three all at once? And not just any three…

I feel gutted. Crushed.

“Being Michishige Sayumi, and thus being unbelievably cute, is such a demanding job,” I jokingly tell Eri afterwards when we finally have some private time to talk to each other. The other members realise that I’m hearing all this for the first time too, so they obligingly give us space. “But I’ll do my best when you’re gone,” I continue, with as steady and assuring a voice as I can. “I’ll hold myself together.”

I’m sure my smile doesn’t convince her. No, not even someone as naïve as Kamei Eri. I can hardly convince myself, not even for a moment, I’m struggling like hell to keep my tears intact, to not let the dam break. I feel sullen, lost and distinctly empty. I fight to keep it all from showing on my face.

“It’ll be okay, Sayu,” she says.

I had half-expected her to respond with something weird, something just plain kooky, in typical Kamei-Eririn-style. But her answer is so… normal, it hurts to hear. It’s almost as if Eri herself understands the severity of the situation, she understands just what all this means for me.

And I notice too, that Eri speaks in a deliberately controlled voice; she sounds fine, but is she really? I can’t imagine how she could be, not when my own heart is coiling in on itself, not when I’m hurting as much as I am.

How can it be okay? I want to scream at her, but the words remain painfully lodged in my throat.

Deep down though, I know that for Lin Lin and Jun Jun, the news must have hit them much harder. They’d always looked forward to doing more for the group, never giving up on Morning Musume and never relinquishing their dreams to one day front us. Their present was Morning Musume, and all they could see in their futures was Morning Musume too. My heart goes out to my two Chinese friends. While they’ve been pushed to leave, Eri must have been thinking about graduating for a while now, and this is ultimately her decision.

Sometime later that day, Reina takes Eri aside too, and they’re talking in whispers behind the dressing door. I can’t grasp onto anything, the words are too quiet, wafting away from me… what I catch though, unmistakably, is my name. I strain to listen, leaning forward, and then realise what I’m doing and abruptly, I walk away. As much as I want to know, I’m also shaking in my boots. I’m afraid what I hear will only intensify the pain. Afraid, so very afraid, that the truth will be solidified. Because giving in to this daze, to the relief of its numbness, and trying to shake off this nightmare rather than accept it – all this must be more bearable than the truth. 

I still can’t believe it. At the beginning of next year, I’ll be in a Morning Musume that has no Kamei Eri in it. I don’t know what to think, except that trying to imagine such a future is so overwhelming, it’s verging on pain.

Later, Reina approaches me wordlessly, but I can see the pain glittering at the back of her eyes like tears. She puts an arm around my shoulder in a comforting gesture, but somehow it doesn’t alleviate the pain, I’m only feeling worse. We’ve been through so much together, us three, right from the beginning. We’re both wordlessly aware of how dear Eri is to us, what she means to us and what she means to our Morning Musume. Even though Eri is older than the both of us, she’s almost always the one being babied amongst us Rokkies. My pain must be Reina’s too, no matter how tough the other girl wants people to believe she is; I can’t forget that.

Eri must have noticed the conflicting emotions within me, that or Reina told her something, because that night she slips into my room.

There's nobody around so Eri holds my hand, interlaces our fingers and I feel a slight dampness growing between our palms. We're holding on so tight.

“Sayu…” she says quietly. My name has never sounded so precious.

I don’t say anything. We stay like this, caught up in this strange void, at a loss as to what to do or say. We stay like this for a long while, maybe too long, because at some point Gaki-san comes crashing into my room in a noisy peal of excited chitchat, Aika beside her, startling us. I let go of Eri’s hand.

It looks like Gaki-san can’t stay down for too long (unless it has something to do with Ai-chan); she really does bring the sunshine with her. 

“Oi! Kamei, Sayu… what’s with this gloomy atmosphere? Let’s go out and get a quick meal before we come back for rehearsal.”

For the rest of the night, Eri and I, we’re silent.

In the following days, after the initial shock has worn off somewhat, a gloom hangs ever so lightly in the air.

Ai’s pained expression over the imminent loss of three kouhais, all at once, and especially the looks she reserves for her beloved Lin Lin. Gaki-san now clings tightly onto Eri wherever she goes. Reina, being strong and unaffected as always, but there’s a glint of sadness in her gaze too. She is, after all, such a Rokkies enthusiast, and losing Jun Jun would be akin to losing the soothing presence of a… boyfriend. Aika, in all her preciousness, those pursed lips and her teary visage. She’d been pretty bouncy and spirited at first, but slowly reality’s sinking in. Her generation of three will soon only consist of one.

At least outwardly, Gaki-san seems to be taking the news the worst. I’d thought that she had recovered remarkably well judging from that fairly nonchalant interruption of hers the other day. But I’ve begun to notice the way she’s dipping in and out of trance-like states. One minute she’ll be twittering away, completely chipper, her normal, cheery self, and the next, somber, quiet. She tries to keep up the high spirits whenever she has the will to, being our sub-leader and all, but I see that it gets to her too. For Eri is also somebody incredibly dear to Gaki-san. Not to mention how fond she’s become of the pandas… and then we have Ai-chan, who’s been crying a lot, but then she’s usually crying so I can’t say much about that.

As for me, they tell me my voice is faint and distracted. Ai-chan approaches me a lot now, when she’s not quietly moping herself and when the others aren’t around.

“Hey, Sayu,” she’ll say, placing a hand on my shoulder. “You want to talk?”

I shake my head. And smile. I can still smile.

I don’t tell the others, but Eri’s impending absence hangs like a wet blanket over me, it’s heavy and suffocating. I’m not sure if I can hold myself together in time for our next public appearance. The temptation to spill all my raw thoughts and feelings into my blog – to bear everything as it is – torments me mercilessly, like a persistent itch. But I know better than that. Whatever I do, I have to keep these soul-searing thoughts private. I need to keep my blog entries emotionally light, it’s one of the few protocols I can’t forget to abide by. Oh, and that’s aside from the fact that the fans don’t know yet.

During rehearsals, during lunchbreaks, during the rides back home and while I’m lying in bed, desperately trying to continue another chapter of the book I had previously been unable to put down – Eri’s on my mind, constantly now. Something doesn’t feel right. There are still a few months before her graduation, but already there’s this stony emptiness sitting somewhere inside me. Even when she’s right next to me, still goofing around, still being the Kamei I so love and adore and worship.

Anxiety swells furiously inside me, often now, when I get the time to just sit back and look at Eri, observe her, evaluate the role that she plays in my life. My head’s a roar, spinning and spinning and trying to make sense of what’s to come when she’s gone. During the long trips in the company van, while Eri is sleeping and I’m pretending to, images of a future Morning Musume claw through my mind in sudden and sharp, painful flashes… images of us delighting, fretting, struggling, conquering. All without Eri.

I dread the future concerts that I’ll take part in, when I turn to the side, expecting Kamei Eri to be there in all her glory, giving it her all, that crazy ball of energy that she is when she’s on stage. And knowing that when I do, she won’t be there. It will be somebody else. A new 9th gen member, another of my cute kouhais. But not Eri. The thought sends a cold horror sprawling across my heart, it makes me nauseous. She’s been there with me every step of the way. How will Sayumi go on without her right-hand woman? I can’t bear to think of a Morning Musume without my Eririn. I just can’t.

I know time heals everything. It always has, and when some seemingly insurmountable obstacle stands before me, I’ve had a reassuring past of being able to get past it without too much hassle, no problemo.

I’m certain that we will be seeing each other outside of work, as we often have. During my days off, I’m sure we’d still hang out; we’ll go shopping together, we’ll visit each other’s houses and talk about everything under the moon and stars and share our silly little secrets, as we always do.

I have nothing to worry about… nothing, right?

Even so, I’m afraid the distance will eventually deteriorate our relationship. We won’t be able to see each other half as much as we’re able to now, perhaps even less and knowing this, I’m more than afraid, much more. Doubt festers beneath my skin.

And all so suddenly, I have never felt so lonely, so desperately lonely, even in the company of these people who I’ve grown up with. The impending graduation has poisoned my subconscious, made everything dull and sluggish, has somehow drained the colours from the world.

I’m probably making this all sound a lot more dramatic than it really is. The last thing Eri needs right now is a morosely heartbroken Sayumi on her hands; she’s got plenty of her own things to deal with in these last few months leading up to her graduation. I wonder what I can do for her in this time, I know I can’t give her any extra worries.

But she’s taking care of herself, I can see it. It’s long been routine for everybody else to take care of Eri, since she’s a (self-proclaimed) hopeless case at taking care of herself. But now, it seems like it’s the resident turtle herself taking on the role of caring for everybody else. At least, she’s the one reassuring us all in her strange little way (e.g. spending more time being light-hearted and dorky, making us laugh, sneaking in unexpected hugs and cuddles).

The more I think about her the more I come to realise that Eri, as seemingly unreliable as she is, is surprisingly reliable. Eri, my turtle, has been like a rock, a constant and comforting presence, the anchor which keeps me grounded.

It’s only after a whole month since the private graduation announcements that I finally find the voice to tell Eri all these feelings that have been eating me up little by little.

As I tell her everything on my mind, the emotions come flooding over me in tidal waves, gripping my throat as I talk. It’s a gratifying mixture of relief and unburdening, of finally being able to release my sorrows and every petty little uncertainty. 

So quickly, my guise of being the stronger one crumbles, and I’m crying in front of Eri, I’m completely exposed and at her mercy. She takes me into her arms, holds me to her in a furious tumble of smells and emotions. I’m swept up by it all – I can’t remember the last time I’ve cried this openly, I can’t remember the last time we embraced like this, if ever. Eri’s surprisingly calm and strong-headed, a sore contrast to the rather helpless, spaced-out turtle I have known for so long, who has always sought my shoulder to lean on, my comforting words, my warmth.

She lifts my chin so I’ll look up at her.

“The reason why I’ve been hanging on to Morning Musume for as long as I have has a lot to do with you,” Eri says, beaming at me that angelic smile that has been the beacon of my life for the last eight years. 

“So have a little faith.”

That’s all I need to hear.

I think I will.

Offline gracula

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Re: STORIES OF US --- [A Little Faith] ONESHOT~ 12/14
« Reply #30 on: December 13, 2010, 08:27:11 PM »
yes! first!

sorry, i had to troll. I saw you post this up and just had to say hi. Hi- glad you're having a blast.

Putting a fic up whilst travelling- impressive.

This was simply heart-wrenching. I love every moment of the ride you've taken me on.

I love Eri- from the moment I saw her tentatively poking out of her shell to make fun of Makoto and Nacchi, to her self-effacing humor, the way she handles Nakazawa-san- becoming that character that would do anything asked of her without question and hesitation, and do it well. I made comparisons for a study fic- don't you think Eri is so much like Rika? Their sense of humor is quite similar, their personalities, the way they respond to being teased (perhaps slightly different, but the essence is the same). They both bloomed best whilst portraying alter egos- both beloved by Nakazawa-san.

The dynamics between Nakazawa and Eri are really interesting too- if we squinted, Eri could be the unruly, adorably hilarious grandson that Nakazawa-san would dote on and favor secretly, much like how Rika was the slightly gawky awkward cute duckling of a baby sister who grew up into a beautiful (still slightly socially awkward) swan that she became so proud of.

I don't know why most of my observations inevitably trace back to Original Leader and/or Rika.

This might be incomprehensible, but after a few more reads, you will be able to tell that I might be slightly inebriated and its 3:30am. Try reading this in the same condition, it might help.

Fabulous update. We miss you around here, but I'm plenty glad you're having 'way too much fun' as it were. Stay off the internet!

love,
inebriated!grac

"I'm still blaming Sayu for my lolicon tendencies now." ~Essy

Offline rndmnwierd

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Re: STORIES OF US --- [A Little Faith] ONESHOT~ 12/14
« Reply #31 on: December 13, 2010, 08:58:57 PM »
 :cry: :cry: :cry: Jesus H. Christ in a hand basket on glory day. I had to stop reading in the middle of this because of the wave of depression that swept over me, a wave which has slowly grown stronger since the announcements were made. I think maybe you've hit at all the feelings being felt over this graduation, all the Eri fans (including Sayu) have been spoken for in this work. I won't cry, really, I won't. But thinking about the impending event makes a place in my heart ache. This Morning Musume has been one that I've known for so long now, I really can't begin to imagine it without these three. :cry: :cry:

Offline kuro808

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Re: STORIES OF US --- [A Little Faith] ONESHOT~ 12/14
« Reply #32 on: December 13, 2010, 10:56:53 PM »
That was quite a good one-shot and the Eri/Sayu combination was quite sweet and in the end, that was a very good message
Random Thought:

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Offline oddball

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Re: STORIES OF US --- [A Little Faith] ONESHOT~ 12/14
« Reply #33 on: December 14, 2010, 12:39:50 PM »
Nice oneshot Beecubed, the ending was very moving  :twothumbs poor Sayu, it's nice hoe Eri gives her the strength to go on, even if she is the resons behing Sayu's insecurities

Offline Tightrope

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Re: STORIES OF US --- [A Little Faith] ONESHOT~ 12/14
« Reply #34 on: December 14, 2010, 01:56:09 PM »
GOSH  :mon cry:

I was supposed to come here and fangirl, but I can't right now.  I'm happy I resisted the temptation of reading this in class, because I would have been crying in the middle of it. The song I was listening to, by chance, while reading this didn't help at all either. Really, wow, you let me spechless here. I'm depressed, but in a good way, if that's even possible.

Since the graduation announcement, I have been waiting for a fic like this. Just like this. I wouldn't change a single thing, or a single word. It's true everything can be improved but I'm super happy (or should I say super depressed?) by the way this turned out.  This fic pretty much sums up all my emotions about Eri's graduation. And I absolutely love is from Sayu's point of view, it has been far more emotional this way.  And you weren't going to post it, uh? Thank God you changed your mind.   

I don't even feel like posting dancing cows, seriously. Ah, the KameShige  :cry:....

With the beggining of the fic you made me remember when I found out Kame was going to graduate. I remember I read it somewhere, while lurking. It was a shock just with JJ and LL, I had just started to really like those two. And they haven't been enough time in the group :smhid I was just thinking that when I read about Eririn. Major shock at that time.  And now here we are, only a day more to go  :cry:...

Quote
My breath stops as a clammy tide of panic spills over. In an instant, everything around me seems surreal, everything that’s going on, all the fuss, the subdued murmuring, the stunned looks mirrored on every other face. Nothing is real anymore.

The room’s collapsing beneath me, and I’m light-headed, smothered by the waves of nausea passing through me, one after the other, before I’m completely numb, and then begins the buzzing off my head, the questions, the rising uncertainties. I can sense Eri’s determination to avoid my eyes. Even more strongly, I can sense the flickering glances the other members are giving me from the corners of their eyes.

I love all this. I like how you describe the emotions. They are so damn accurate! And because of that you can always relate to it and get more into the reading. And Eri avoiding her gaze while the others are looking at her wondering how much the notice hit her is awesome too. Don't ask me why, but I really loved this beggining  :heart: And Sayu feeling being all emo and guilty over the graduations and remembering how Eri was saying she was going to left MM is awesome too. I think I started crying in that part I'm a crybaby, yeah XD Adding that part of "It’s a boy, isn’t it?" made all even more sad, at least to me. I just wanted to hug Sayu and cry together with her :cry:

Quote
Every one of us slips on a mask of polite composure while trying to maintain what idol exuberance we have left in us in the face of such news.

I loved this sentence :heart: I just wanted to point it out  XD
But yeah, is so sad when you have to put on a mask, knowing nobody is happy, but everyone is trying so hard to seem like they are,  for the sake of the others. It sure was a shock when they heard of it the first time. Stupid graduations. I always wondered how hard this should be to Ai, who is always crying for nothing.  Aw  :cry:

AND. The next part is is is is  :cry: Only with the “It’ll be okay, Sayu” you can see how worried is Eri about the bunny. Even when she isn't exactly happy at the moment, the first thing she does is care about the rest. For Sayu :cry: Kame is so kind dammit, she shouldn't be graduating.   

Quote
How can it be okay? I want to scream at her, but the words remain painfully lodged in my throat.

Have I said how much I love to read this from Sayu's view? Because I won't mind repeat it a thousand times. Sad/Angry Sayu  in this fic makes me cry. Everytime, even at re-reading. And she is in that state the whole fic, so you can imagine what I was doing all the time lol. It's so emotional. So sad. So awesome. I LOVE THE ANGST ~ :heart:

And Eri taking Reina aside to talk to her in private was another detail I like very much.  She is telling her to take care of Sayu when she is not around, right? And comforting her too <3 The yankee isn't as tough as she want us to believe. The other day in the concert MC Reina was saying something about what will they do without Eri scolding her about various things (food especially) xD Aw, now I like Reina a little more. Eri is an important member to everyone in one way or another. In fact, I'm sure Eri took aside each one of the members to talk in private about it. She's awesome like that, I know it.

Quote
Eri must have noticed the conflicting emotions within me, that or Reina told her something, because that night she slips into my room.

There's nobody around so Eri holds my hand, interlaces our fingers and I feel a slight dampness growing between our palms. We're holding on so tight.

“Sayu…” she says quietly. My name has never sounded so precious.

GOSH again :mon cry:

It's really heart-wrenching, and sweet at the same time. The bond those two have is so precious. This part was one of my favourites and one of which made me cry harder.

And Gaki XD What the heck, when someomes interrups, usually it's her, I noticed just now, and for some reason cracked up. It seems my emotional stability isn't very stable these days XD But oh well, is so like her to be that way. Gaki-saaan <3

The description of how the situation was affecting the members had a lot of details I loved. For example the mention of Ai-LinLin friendship. I'm lately craving for some sisterly-love fic with those two. Just because both of them are adorable being like sisters and I want to read about it :heart:  And GakiKame too. I can't see GakiKame as a pairing, but friendship is a completely different story. They usually got paired up in a lot of programs and such, and their combo is always so enjoyable <3 Is nice to see Gaki clinging onto Eri here. And I like and approve the inestable mood of Gaki <3 

Quote
and then we have Ai-chan, who’s been crying a lot, but then she’s usually crying so I can’t say much about that.

 :lol: :lol: :lol:

I feel bad about this, but I lol'ed with this sentence. I'm sorry.  Crybaby Ai-chan is love :heart:
And yay, another awesome detail, the leader trying to talk with Sayu to comfort her. Even though she didn't let her. But well, we know how reserved can be Sayu with her feelings, especially when she is feeling sad.

Quote
Even so, I’m afraid the distance will eventually deteriorate our relationship. We won’t be able to see each other half as much as we’re able to now, perhaps even less and knowing this, I’m more than afraid, much more. Doubt festers beneath my skin.

This is one thing I have been worried about. Distance is such a dangerous thing sometimes. I really hope this won't damage their friendship. But I know their bond is strong, so I won't worry too much. I'm sure they will hang together as much as they can, and they will be talking, or mailing, or whatever, each day. KAMESHIGE WILL LIVE NO MATTER WHAT :cry: And again, sad Sayu is sad *huggles for the bunny*

Quote
The more I think about her the more I come to realise that Eri, as seemingly unreliable as she is, is surprisingly reliable. Eri, my turtle, has been like a rock, a constant and comforting presence, the anchor which keeps me grounded.

This is pure truth. I think Eri is unreliable when she knows she can be like that. But when is needed she can be the realiable one. She can take care of herself and take care of others.


And then, the ending. THE ENDING OMG :mon cry:

I was going to quote again, but it was going to be a huge quote, so, no quotes for this part.

I don't have words to express how much I loved this part. I cried. And I melted. And cried again. It's so beautiful. And sweet. And moving. And lovely. And adorable.  And KameShige. And I don't know. It's definitely my favourite part of this one shot. And I hope you are happy, making me cry this much. But I couldn't have hoped for a fic better than this one. Like I said, is exactly what I was waiting for, what I was searching for, since the graduation announcement. Thanks Bee :cry: :heart:
 
And by the way, I like how you had centered the attention in Eri's graduation, but without ignoring the other members who are graduating as well. I tend to give too much attention to Eri and it seems like I don't care about the pandas, but that's not true. And that's what I'm saying I like about this, I mean, here and there, you expressed that they all will be missed, no matter who is your favourite <3  Not only that, there was a lot of details in this fic that made it even more amazing and emotional  :heart: I don't know if I'm explaning properly but anyway. I'm really happy you wrote it and shared it with us  :heart:

And I quoted quite a lot, I'm sorry :lol: Just know I loved it, and you made my day today, even if I felt depressed :heart: But  I think I feel a little happier now. So... it's time for dancing cows to celebrate the update!

:cow: :cow: :cow: :cow: IT'S A KAMESHIGE UPDATE YAY :cow: :cow: :cow: :cow:

                                     I'll be waiting for mooore ~  :heart:


Quote from: gracula
yes! first!

:mon wtfmm: :mon wtfmm:

You won this time, grac...  Next time I'm gonna be first for sure! Here and in your thread too! Since when this is a competition, you ask? I don't know...
I love inebriated!grac btw. Your rants too late at night (or should I say too early in the mornings?) are awesome  XD


Oh, and I forgot...

Quote from: Beecubed
Kamei Eri forever.  :heart:

 :mon yeah: :mon yeah: :mon yeah: :mon yeah:  :mon yeah: :mon yeah: :mon yeah:
« Last Edit: December 14, 2010, 02:09:43 PM by Tightrope »

Offline Tami_Ai

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Re: STORIES OF US --- [A Little Faith] ONESHOT~ 12/14
« Reply #35 on: December 15, 2010, 04:57:36 PM »
S e c r e t   A d m i r e r :wub: :wub: :wub:
Wuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa  :panic: :panic: :panic: :panic: :panic: :panic: :panic: :panic:
I'm crazy for this fic
Please one more chapter  :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow:


A   L i t t l e   F a i t h
 
 Omg !!! is so good .. Im crying :on speedy:
« Last Edit: December 15, 2010, 05:04:06 PM by Tami_Ai »

Offline ShiroiHana

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Re: STORIES OF US --- [A Little Faith] ONESHOT~ 12/14
« Reply #36 on: December 18, 2010, 03:13:58 PM »
secret admirer is making me curious about how will the story continue  :yep:
what will happen then?
oh...but i have a question, “Yeah…” Risa says, distractedly, her hands slipping to her chest and then off. “Just… I don’t know. Weirdly stimulated like I had one hell of a wet dream or something.” She shifts in her seat again.
what'd she mean with wet dream? is she like, have to pee or something? uhm...?  :dunno:

a little faith
you know, it is raining when i read this fic, and the song that i heard is 'goodbye my love' from 8eight....these two things + your fic makes me feel blue....my eyes got watery..and i got a strange look from my mother because of it.... :nervous

i like kameshige a lot...this pairing is the first that i shipped...and the understanding that the turtle gives to the bunny when the bunny sad or something and trying to hide it, and the attention that the bunny always gives to the turtle...i just cant help but feel sad that they wont be have work together for now...that they may have to see each other less than before...thus, i believe that because these two need each other company a lot, that this two is having this great relationship, i believe that even if they are working separately, they will continue to bond...because kameshige is one.

ah, and i really like this line,

Quote
“The reason why I’ve been hanging on to Morning Musume for as long as I have has a lot to do with you,” Eri says, beaming at me that angelic smile that has been the beacon of my life for the last eight years.

“So have a little faith.”

That’s all I need to hear.

I think I will.



i am blabbering strangely, arent i? ^^;
i am sorry, i dont know how to write a more proper comment...later, i will learn how to comment properly  :yep:

bee-san...i really like your fic and i have become your fans ^^~
for now, i will wait patiently until your next update
bee-san ganbare~ ^o^



Offline gracula

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Re: STORIES OF US --- [A Little Faith] ONESHOT~ 12/14
« Reply #37 on: December 18, 2010, 07:44:24 PM »
wow, bee. you're like the poster child for delurking recruitments. and a right proper commenter too.

one more and you win a toaster oven.  :grin:

"I'm still blaming Sayu for my lolicon tendencies now." ~Essy

Offline Tightrope

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Re: STORIES OF US --- [A Little Faith] ONESHOT~ 12/14
« Reply #38 on: December 18, 2010, 08:54:50 PM »
More people delurking ? :w00t:  And people who likes babbling! :heart:  Come and join us in the Bee fanclub ShiroiHana! :welcome

*feels like spamming but doesn't care*

 :cow: :cow: :cow: :cow: :cow: :cow: :cow:

Quote
oh...but i have a question, “Yeah…” Risa says, distractedly, her hands slipping to her chest and then off. “Just… I don’t know. Weirdly stimulated like I had one hell of a wet dream or something.” She shifts in her seat again.
what'd she mean with wet dream? is she like, have to pee or something? uhm...?  :dunno:

She mean she felt like she had a naughty dream <.< A very naughty and sexy dream ~  :heart: 

What she doesn't know is that it wasn't a dream at all



Offline ShiroiHana

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Re: STORIES OF US --- [A Little Faith] ONESHOT~ 12/14
« Reply #39 on: December 21, 2010, 10:24:54 AM »
@ tightrope :
lol, okay, i will join the Bee fanclub  :hee:
Quote
She mean she felt like she had a naughty dream <.< A very naughty and sexy dream ~  :heart:

What she doesn't know is that it wasn't a dream at all
oh....i see...? so it is something like that,  :yep:
i thought it's something else ^^' 
sankyuu for answering  :)

*ps : umm...? is it okay if i post something like this before the actual update?  :dunno: *




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