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Author Topic: With a wet noodle  (Read 15130 times)

Offline Mikan

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With a wet noodle
« on: December 11, 2006, 07:53:42 PM »
This was actually and example piece of writing on spacing. After two or three lines I couldnt stop. It just makes me laugh and feel better. Prize to the person who can guess what the title has to do with the story...
* * * * *


Ishikawa opened the door but refused to go any further.
 
 "Oh no! Niigaki has been brutally murdered!"
 
 "Are you sure?" Yossie stepped inside to poke the body. "She is a heavy sleeper you know"
 
 "She has an axe in her neck! Of course she is dead Yossie!"
 
 "Well, if you say so..."
 
 The supposedly dead body rolled over and sat up much to the surprise of the two 4th gens.
 
 "No! I'm not dead! Its just props for the skit - see" Niigaki removed the novelty axe from her neck and waved it around in front of the girls. The prop was rather convincing.
 
 "Ahhh!!! Zombie!!" Yossie squealed, taking the axe and beating her junior senseless.

When all was settle and Yossie had dropped the axe from exhaustion Niigaki was no more than an indistinguishable bloody pulp oozing all over the dressing room floor. With the initial shock wearing off, Ishikawa couldn’t help but feel a little responsible. If anyone found out the blame could easily be brought back to her and as quick as it had begun her career would be over!!

”What do we do!” She cried out, splashing to her knees in Gaki-goo.

Yossie, now calm again, stood up and took out the dustpan and broom from the cupboard and began sweeping up the mess. “Find a big enough garbage back I suppose”

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Offline rndmnwierd

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With a wet noodle
« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2006, 09:18:52 PM »
Beaten with a wet noodle? No prop axe...

Offline ChiruChaCha

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With a wet noodle
« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2006, 10:06:51 PM »
Niigaki slipped with a wet noodle and that's why she was on the floor?

Offline black velvet

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With a wet noodle
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2006, 12:01:45 AM »
Holy crap and lulz! Umm . . . Wet noodle? Gaki-goo? >.<

Offline JFC

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With a wet noodle
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2006, 06:16:53 AM »
Alls I gots to says is...


JPH!P :heart:'s kuro808, Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline ferrar1

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With a wet noodle
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2006, 06:39:37 AM »
They'll probably just use the goo as soba yu and flush it down their throats

4th Pic of Eri courtesy of t-motion's gallery ~ Sangokushi Taisen anyone ? http://sangokutaisen.blogspot.com/ ~ Lame attempt at a personal blog ~

Offline cheesesticks

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With a wet noodle
« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2006, 07:43:13 AM »
:ONshock: WTF! Gakisan turned into a bloody indistinguishable pulp in less than a minute!

Interesting. Yet. Wtf. XD
J'aime le fromage.

Offline Mikan

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With a wet Noodles
« Reply #7 on: December 12, 2006, 12:22:32 PM »
Let me just start off by saying ur all sick. Then again, Im just as bad.
The wet noodle thing doesnt really relate to the story. I was just wondering if it rung a few bells or not. Nevermind ~

Gimme a 2!

* * * * *


Ishikawa took a deep breath and pushed herself into the hallway. It would have been smarter to check first but planning a head was something this girl knew nothing about.

”Hey, Rika” Makoto sang merrily, skipping down the hallway ignoring the fact her senior was covered in funny coloured stains. “Have you seen Risa?”

”N-no! No I can’t say that I have” Ishikawa stuttered, leaning against the dressing room door to block Makoto from entering. Unfortunately the door was then opened from the other side as Yossie stuck her head into the hallway.
”What’s the problem?”

”Just looking for Risa. Have you seen her?”

Yossie tsked and shook her head sorrowfully. “She’s all over the place”

Ishikawa twisted her head to the side in disbelief. Acting more out of panic than what she later described as initiative, she slammed the door on Yossie’s neck and pushed. Then realising the proper order of the plan, opened the door, pushed Yossie back and shut the door.

”Did she say she has seen Niigaki?”

”No! No she didn’t”

”Are you sure because it sounded like she said she has–“

”That’s not what she said!” Ishikawa jumped in defensively “You misheard it. What she really said was…”

Various rhyming words went through her head to go with ‘all over the place’.

She’s lost in space…

She’s got an overly large face…

”…She’s…been sprayed with mace…?”

Makoto’s eyes widened at the news. “God, is she ok?”

Ishikawa sighed with relief that her lie sailed beautifully and allowed an easy end to the conversation. “I don’t know but she might be in the sick room”

”Oh ok, well thanks!”

And with that Ogawa skipped off in the direction of the sick room.

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Offline kazitakato

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With a wet noodle
« Reply #8 on: December 12, 2006, 01:25:31 PM »
OMG.....hahaha.....and all this time i thought all this time that Rika was such a badass......maybe all that hairdye went to her brain...

"thinking ahead was nothing the girl knew about" :rofl:

spreading the usa-chan love....i mean darkness(thanks to JFC)

Offline rndmnwierd

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With a wet noodle
« Reply #9 on: December 12, 2006, 04:11:46 PM »
I think the weight of her long hair actually stimulated her brain cells, but when she cut her hair off, the cells became misshapen and useless. Oh wait, the not thinking has been going on for a long time.

Offline Owaranai_sLaVe

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With a wet noodle
« Reply #10 on: December 12, 2006, 09:28:30 PM »
Oh Mikan, if I get it right, do I get e perv cookie? :D
Is it because Niigaki is similar to Niigata's special noodles? Or was that rice... oh well, just something I remembered from JKM3. Plus, the fact that she was all "bloody" made her wet.

YAY~
A story of my favorite youngin' and two of three of my favorite girls!

-Owaranai_sLaVe
>>LIFE ~is just another story~2008/12/26<<
Please Spread The Love; Pervy Thinkers Association

Offline Mikan

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With a wet noodle
« Reply #11 on: December 13, 2006, 07:05:54 AM »
Ur all gonna hate me and think "Wtf has this gotta do with the story?"$
The answer to that is nothing. It has really nothing important to do with it.

Its mentioned in a simpsons episode :D

Bart's Teacher: Your going to be my murder victim bart! ...In our new class play staring Martin as Lizzy Warden

Martin: Whack Whack with a wet noodle bart.

Ok, writing stuff at 4am makes you do crazy thinks. I was going to call the story whack whack but thought 'with a wet noodle' sounded funnier...
(yes my mental health is decreasing...fast. Im so sorry. Ill probably never set foot in JPHIP again after new years its going that fast!)

Read the complete Doki Doki!!

Offline glcorps2002

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With a wet noodle
« Reply #12 on: December 13, 2006, 07:20:22 AM »
You'll get use to your maddness, belive me.

Offline Mikan

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Whack whack with a wet noodle~
« Reply #13 on: December 13, 2006, 11:39:28 AM »
Gimme a 3
And a prayer for a quick end to this story!!

-----------------------------------------


When Ishikawa returned with the black garbage bag she help Yossie sweep the mess inside and tie it. With the blood and bones beaten so fine, it made it easier to pick up than previously thought. Almost like sweeping up puree.

”Yossie?”

Yossie finished the last garbage tie before looking up. “Yes?”

”We should promise to keep this our secret, no matter what”

”Right. Pinky promise”

The two partners in manslaughter held pinkies and chanted out their promise never to tell another living soul. Yossie then threw the bag over her left shoulder and together, heaved the evidence out into the empty corridor. They had decided a quick fix should solve this situation so they agreed to just dump the body in the alley in hope for the best.

Lady Luck shone brightly as they made their way to the back door that opened up to the alley. And just as they were about to open that door, Lady Luck ducked out for a toilet break.

”Hold the bag while I go grab the key from the storage room”

Yossie dropped the now odd smelling bag by Rika’s feet and left, soon to return. Rika gulped she sensed something bad was about to happen.

”Hey Rika”

And it came right on cue.

”Hi Miki”

With her left foot, Rika kicked the bag behind her. Unfortunately the sloshing sound of the contents caught Miki’s attention

”What’s in the bag?”

”Oh…nothing”

Rika’s blonde moment caused her to trip into a pothole of panic. She became desperate for an end to the conversation but Miki didn’t look like she would be leaving soon.

”My ass it’s nothing! What are you hiding…”

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Offline Comrade

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With a wet noodle
« Reply #14 on: December 13, 2006, 02:30:35 PM »
lmfao.

this is the best story on jph!p.

I roffled extremely.

:lmao:
Sweet dreams, Jab.  Love you forever.

Offline coachie

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With a wet noodle
« Reply #15 on: December 13, 2006, 07:14:33 PM »
haha, just great, laughed my ass off

this should be adapted into one of those four panel comic strips XD

Offline rndmnwierd

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With a wet noodle
« Reply #16 on: December 14, 2006, 06:29:45 AM »
Rika senses... Tingling...

Offline Mikan

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With a wet noodle
« Reply #17 on: December 15, 2006, 12:10:39 PM »
Ah! A comment from THE Comrade...Im...Im..honoured...

Thank you all for supporting the madness!!

Its not over, till its over ~

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Offline Mikan

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Whack Whack with a Wet Noodle
« Reply #18 on: December 21, 2006, 03:07:09 AM »
Gimme a 4
[/B]
 
* * * * * * *


A little over 7 minutes later Yossie returned with the much needed key. She looked from Rika to the black bag, to the pair 23cm Nike sneakers hanging out of the top of the black bag then back to Rika.

”So…No trouble?”

”No trouble” Rika gave a thumbs up and dragged the sack out the door.

With evidence now disposed of, the two girls departed back to their own dressing rooms to live out the rest of the day in relief. Or so they thought…

The loud paced knocking at the door made Rika jump, smearing her lipstick across her face. She wiped it off hastily before answering the door to Natsumi.

”We are having a meeting in the Green room. Make sure you’re there ASAP!”

Rika’s stomach tied itself in a knot and began flipping flopping about inside her like a freshly caught Salmon.

Why would they have an urgent meeting? Someone must have found out!!

Knowing that showing up late or last would incriminate her further she ran to the Green room where most of Morning Musume (minus the two that obviously couldn’t make it) were seated nervously.

Rika sat quietly on the couch in the far corner trying to blend in. It was a failed attempt as her shirt was soaked with blotchy sweat spots seeping from her armpits. Kago and Tsuji sitting beside her scooted to the edge of the couch to avoid being dripped on but became quickly settled when Natsumi entered the room.

”I never thought I’d have to say this…” Her speech began solemnly. “Today, I have gathered you…to expose the culprit of an atrocious, No, ghastly crime…”

Rika wrung her shirt to relieve her anxiety. She glanced over at the relaxed Yossie sitting opposite, arms around Yui and Erika (who generally liked to attend meetings even if it didn’t involve them). How could that girl stay calm in such a moment?! Natsumi turned quickly to catch Rika’s eyes. Telepathically sending a message of ‘I know you did it’ whilst continuing her address.

”If this culprit would like to come forward and clean their conscience, let them do so now…”

There was a silence that followed but to Rika, it was filled with thousands of tiny voices telling her she must confess. She tried to shake them but they were all so loud and before she knew it, word vomit was making its way up.

”Natsumi, It was –“

”Me”

A smaller voice cut in. The voice of none other than Konno Asami.

”I drank all your Ice Tea, I’m sorry!”

The young girl’s eyes filled up with tears and the room gave an “Aww” all in unison. Rika sat herself down quickly hoping nobody had noticed her ‘almost confession’.

”Well then Konno…” Natsumi handed a small slip of paper to the girl “I’m proud you came forward and did the right thing. The Hello! Pro  punishment tribunal will take this all into consideration. Your meeting with them is stated on the invite there”

The room applauded the end of another successful meeting and began to break up.

”Stop!”

Top dog soloist Matsuura Ayaya burst into the Green room, blocking the only exit.

”Something even more horrifying has happened!…”

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Offline Mikan

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Whack Whack with a Wet Noodle
« Reply #19 on: December 21, 2006, 03:10:01 AM »
Gimme a 5


* * * * * * *


”Something even more horrifying has happened!...”

The atmosphere in the room stayed mellow and unexcited. Nobody seemed to care what news the Apparently-Great-Boob-Flashing-Kanji-Confused-Hello Soloist might bring. Tsuji was the first to pry her attention from the fly on ceiling (that had also caught the attention of many others)

”Is it about your new haircut?”

”No! It’s not, it’s – wait, what’s wrong with my new haircut?”

”I dunno. Looks kinda lame”

”What? Really? Wait no – I need to tell you that Miki –“

Yossie stopped filing her nails to jump on the conversation boat.

”-is gay?”

”Miki’s not gay!” Aya threw her hands up in the air.

”Yeah, she is” Yossie confirmed, supported by nods from Erika and Yui. Aya looked mortified. This was obviously news to her. And to Rika. Rika even took a few minutes off worrying to be equally dumbfounded.

”She came out like..what..a year ago now? It was pretty obvious anyway, don’t you think? All the groping and her willingness to take showers with everyone and the -”

”Shut up!” Aya held her hands over her ears “This isn’t the time to discuss this. I have to tell you all something important, why don’t you just listen to me for 5 goddamn minutes!”

Natsumi was poked by an angel with a truth stick making her blurt - “We do Aya. We hear you quite regularly and it loses its novelty after the first few times”

The girls exchanged looks of agreement.

”Well I’m glad I got that off my chest” Natsumi clasped her hands together, satisfied. “So what is so important?”

Now over the initial madness, the last living member of GAM stood strong as she passed on her shocking discovery.

---------
'Cause it's christmas I decided a double post was in order. I had free time with no internet so I stayed up past 4 writing this darn thing. Its over and Im happy with it.

In other news, MY FUCKING HAND KILLS! I went to the doctor and found out what it was..there is like a sack thingy growing in there so I might be going into surgery to get it out (So how does this concern you?) well, I might not write for a while if Im missing my darn hand.

Read the complete Doki Doki!!

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