Complete

[erink]

I have this perfect girl.
I can't find a single thing wrong with her.
I think she is the most perfect creature in this whole world.
I racked my brain, but I can't even imagine finding someone more attractive than her. Maybe I am crazy. I am sure some other people would agree, or say, "yeah she is pretty good," and others wouldn't be interested at all, but to me, I don't think it can get any better.
I love the way her hair feels as I gently place my hand on her head.
The way she looks when she laughs.
Even the sound of her laugh.
It is bassically everything, isn't it? I like everyhting don't I?
She was sweet.
When we first started dating, thats the thing that stuck out the most, other than the aforementioned phsyical attraction that is.
I thought to myself, "Why is she with me?"
I figured there had to be something majorly wrong with her to chose me.
Something that would rear its head at a later date and then that light bulb would go off "Oh, so that's why."
Part of me thought, maybe she is just as sweet as I think she is. Maybe she is willing to give me a chance at happiness. Another part of me though maybe she was just an idiot.
I shoved both of those aside.
Nonsense.
In my life, nothing has worked out that way. I am programmed to immediately think I am being screwed over. And if it doesn't happen then, I assume it is just coming later and will be extra painful when it does.
But that didn't come.(Yet?)
Of course I don't want to rule out all possibilities of this really being the disaster I thought it would be, but I'll come back to that later.
It was months before we had sex.
And I didn't even care.
Go back and reread that, cause I know you think I am lying.
You are sitting there with that smile on your face aren't you?
Regardless of wether or not you are going to belive that last one, it is the truth.
I didn't even think about it.
Me, of all people, not thinking about it.
That smile is getting bigger and you are yelling "Liar!" at this aren't you?
I was happy just being with her.
Holding her hand, talking to her, kissing her,
It was enough.
More than enough.
The morning after, when I woke up and she was still there( you know part of me expected her to have ran off and fulfilled one of my 'This isn't going to work out' theories, but it didn't happen that way.) I felt happiness.
I felt love.
For the first time.
No, that's wrong. Scratch it out.
I understood love.
Maybe that is a better phrasing?
We go through our lives saying "I love this" "I love that" "I love you". We say it so much it has lost meaning. It is thrown around. It has lost its value.  I felt it for awhile, so I would never say it. You know that though, huh?
But in that instance, as I looked at her, so peaceful and beatuiful, I felt as though I understood. For the first time that thing in my brain clicked. And I thought that maybe all my crazy realist ideas about love being some sort of chemical reaction were completely ridiculous.
After that, things came into perspective.
Right now,
She is lying next to me. Her hair is slightly messy, and everynow and then she twitches a bit before giving a sleepy smile. I unconsiously smile back, even though I know she is sleeping and can't see me, I can't stop myself.
Her well defined stomach moves up and down rythmically and her slow even breathing is somewhat relaxing. She readjusts herself so she can put her arms around me.
She is perfect.
If it is true, if it is true that God or whatever higher power creates one being, and then separates that being into a male and female, female and female, or a male and male, and sends them off to earth where they play out their lives, maybe reuniting maybe not. If that whole thing is true (Hey, do you remember what book that is from?) I think she would be my other half.
The last bit was pretty good, huh?
A little sappy and of course I stole it from one of Murakami's(I think it was his...) books, but it works doesn't it?
This perfect girl, whatever her reasons are,
She loves me.
She treats me as though she is the one unworthy of being with me.(No, I haven't ruled out a drug problem. Yeah, I think she'd have to be on crack to feel that way, too.)
When she talks to me, even if it is about some stupid insignificant thing, she looks me straight in the eye and there is a twinkle there.
Her smiles are genuine and warm.
I don't think she is capable of doing me any harm.(even though I am still holding out hope, you know? I'm still really hard to sell on a happy ending.)
She's perfect.
Then why am I laying here with her and thinking of you?
Life,
      It's cruel isn't it?

[katatsumuri]

Beautiful and sweet... :ONluvluv2:

but the twist at the end.  OUCH!:MKsniffle:

[JFC]

She's perfect.
Then why am I laying here with her and thinking of you?
Life,
It's cruel isn't it?

Dude, you better be continuing this...

[iacus]

Dude, you better be continuing this...

Seconded. This is absolutely fantastic.

[Mikan]

3rd. Beautiful

*nudges Erink* awww, I didnt know you were such a deep romantist ^^ tehehe.

Is there a one shot or are we going to be enlightened at a later date?

[coachie]

That was so beautiful... and the ending...

[Blizzard]

4th.

Wow, that was incredible!  I don't really know what else to say.

[black velvet]

This definitely has a different feeling than your other writings. It's very sweet, yet angsty. The twist at the end is . . . Is there more? D:

[erink]

Today we were out walking. And out of nowhere, she called out that nickname.
The same one you called me by.
No one else knew that.
It was between us.
When I heard it coming from her,
It was like being punched in the stomach.
All of those old memories came rushing back.
It was so sudden, I felt like I was going to be sick.
My entire body tensed and I stopped moving.
I stood frozen.
Right in the middle of the sidewalk on a pleasant afternoon. The sun was warm and the sky blue. It was a picturesque day.
I felt like I was going to have some sort of panic attack.
My entire body,
Heavy, as if, for the first time, I felt aware of every single pound I possesed. But it was more than that.  
It felt like some force was crushing me.
I found it hard to breathe.
And then she turned around.
In only the way that the perfect girl can, she spun and walked back towards me.
Her head tilted to the side.
She smiled at me playfully and reaced out for my arm.
She moved herself in closer to me, pressing up against the right side of my body,  and contiued looking up at me with that lovable grin.
It was like the most popular girl in school had just given the class loser a kiss on the cheek. The girl was completely okay with it, while the loser was still trying to process it and not, you know, spontaneously combust.
It was kinda like that.
But not really.
She looked so damn beautiful at that moment.
The posterchild for innocent love.
At least I guess she did.
I had slipped into what could best be described as an out of body experience.
I mean, I was aware of what was going on, that she was holding my arm and looking at me,
Things like that, I had processed,
but at the same time I was a million miles away.
A million miles away.
That would put me straight back to you?
If there is a higher power,
I am officially convinced he is out to get me.

[Owaranai_sLaVe]

Damn, what a freaking ironic coincidence. I was planning to write in a similar style for my story later on. haha, well now its taken, but at least I know that it would have looked well.

Yours is damn awesome.

You are sitting there with that smile on your face aren't you?

well now i am

We go through our lives saying "I love this" "I love that" "I love you".

THAT, is the truth. that's why I never use that word freely, especially in a relationship.

i have this weird feeling that Rika is in the story... like shes the "perfect girl" or the "other girl". But for a second, i thought she was the girl talking, but i ruled that out later on.

-Owaranai_sLaVe

[erink]

Thank you all so much for the comments. I am trying to return to a state of semi regular updates on all stories. Keep checking.

[C60533]

Thank you all so much for the comments. I am trying to return to a state of semi regular updates on all stories. Keep checking.

Okay. I will continue checking. How long should the intervals between checking be? 1 day? Hopefully? ^_^

[erink]

A delicate vase sits in a shop. It is black and the patterns are intricate.
The vase rests in the middle of a table.
Children run about in the way that the young are accustomed to while their mother looks around.
It is an unpredictable time.
Everyone knows what will happen, but not when.
One child bumps straight into the leg of the table.
As the vase wobbles everyone watches, too stunned to make a futile attempt at a rescue, before the innevitible tilt to the one side occurs, and the vase crashes to the ground.
The shopkeeper painstakingly repairs it. Restoring the intricate patterns with the help of glue.
If you look quickly, you don't notice.
Even looking for extended periods of time, it is hard to see that there is anything wrong.
The shopkeeper continually places it in such a way that it's good qualities are exentuated while the larger cracks are facing the wall.
The vase is purchased.
You can tell it is damaged but it still remains beautiful.
Everynow and then you accidently jossle it.
It teters, but always manages to retain its balance and place.
Until one day, it doesn't.
Even the strongest glue can't hold forever.
It falls farther than it did before,
And when it hits,
it breaks into new, more complex, and intersting peices.
The parts that had been broken before, now shatter into
miniscule fragments
that hide in your carpet and stick in your foot if you aren't careful.
The repair this time is more difficult, and raises the question,
Is it even worth it?
To one person, a special kind of person, it is.
They paitently sit for hours, days, months,
rebuilding.
Knowning that it will be a long process,
a process that others consider trivial, especially when there are
bigger and better vases out there.
For a cheaper price.
The person gets cut on the shards everynow and then, but it doesn't deter them.
No matter, some of the pieces maybe too small.
There is only so much that can be done,
Before you are left with a mere reminder of what the beauty once was.

[JFC]

^ Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh metaphors! Coolness.

[Mikan]

Yeh, love the metaphor.

How you doing Erink? I havent seen you round lately...

[_Hitomi_]

Oooh~ I'm impressed. :pen_clap:
You're really good on this. :kgreat:
I'll be waiting for more chapters ^_^

[erink]

How you doing Erink? I havent seen you round lately...

Yeah I know. I have no idea what is going on with me writting wise. Other than that, I'm okay.  Like I said, trying to get back to my regular state of updates.

Thanks for the comments.
Oh, and for the record, the metaphor was definately a pat on the back moment for me. Who really saw that one coming? Even I didn't.

[katatsumuri]

Oh, and for the record, the metaphor was definately a pat on the back moment for me. Who really saw that one coming? Even I didn't.

*gives you a back pat PLUS a massage*

your works are what make reading a pleasure~

[C60533]

Beautiful metaphor :baa60776: This is a contemplative fic isn't it? I'm having to think. Haven't done that in a while. This is so good.

[erink]

You know why I hate telephones?
No, it's not because they emit all those harmful radioactive waves. Although, that would just be my luck, wouldn't it?
It is because when I am on them,
I imediately get into this intense state of paranoia.
I just start panicking, worried that what I am thinking about (which of course is something either deep and dark, completely disgusting, embarassing, and or totally unrelated) will suddenly escape from my mind and flee into the other end of the reciever.
Those thoughts will  decide that they are sick and tired of only being thoughts.
They will have had enough of never getting the chance to be spoken.
The chance to become something more.
They will start a revolt.
They'll overpower my mind's sense of contorl.
Then they will make me pay for all the years I have just tossed them around.
Never acting on them,
or trying to forget them.
What will happen if these thoughts come out?
Whenever the phone rings,
I feel my stomach drop.
I try my best not to think these thoughts,
these thoughts that will hurt her if she hears them.
But in trying not to think about them,
you only think about them more, don't you?
I try my best to keep the conversation as short as possible.
Yes. No. Maybe.
If I elaborate, it means the conversation will last longer,
giving the snowball effect time to start.
I know if I am looking at her,
If I am there seeing her with my own eyes,
I will be able to control these thoughts better.
But when I'm not,
when she is out of sight,
when she is reduced to a voice and a mental outline of her appearance
each word, every slight utterance  must be meticulously planned out,
and I can't breathe again until I am sure it came out of my mouth the correct way, positive that it didn't switch to something else in the trip from brain to vocal chords.
What would happen if she were aware of my notions ?
What if I voiced these thoughts?
These thoughts of you.


* not happy with it, but it was close to the second page.