I'm going to hell.
I used to be vaguley aware of this.
This minor little thing I felt inside me.
Not saying that I was a really horrible person,
Just saying that I did a my fair share of things that would qualify me(I bet you know more than a few of those). And
if I wasn't going before,
if I was really just being hard on myself,
if the standards that I thought were set by whoever it is that runs it were off,
Then I have certainly cleared all tiny insignificant specs of doubt.
I'm going straight to hell.
For sure, yo.
Don't comment on that last bit. Just let me have my moment.
So why is it?
Why is it that I am destined to spend my life in eternal suffereing?
Why is it that I'll be rubbing elbows with Hitler and Stalin?
Why else would it be?
Reason Number One:
She is absolutely gorgeous.
Okay, okay, this all goes back to personal preferance and opinion, but
I guarantee
That it would be easy for any person to find at least one thing attractive about her.
Guarantee.
So what do I do with this gorgeous girl?
I spend my time thinking about someone...
Someone,
That's rather impersonal, isn't it?
I spend my time thinking about you.
Ah there we go, that is much better.
That's horrible.
But I'm sure if you, for some reason, skipped some of the other things I have mentioned, you might say,
But that really isn't that bad, cause if she isn't a good person...
Which brings us to
Reason Number Two
She is a good person.
I wish I was one of those people that was lucky enough to get stuck with a beautiful girl who was absolutely wretched.
Because then,
every single thought
every single action
can be justified on the premise of her being a bad person, and bad people deserve to be treated badly.
If only things could work that way.
Not only is she a good person, she is the epitome of good people everywhere
At some place
Some where
I am absolutely sure there is a statue errected in her honour.
Honestly, you could even push wholesome. How many people our age can fall into that category that
A) aren't in some cult guised as a religous group and
B) don't live under a rock.
A really
Really
Big rock?
Hell, just thinking about her I can picture her in some plain jane dress singing on a flower covered hillside with brids and vairous furry woodland creatures scurrying about and basking in her beauty.
What have I gotten myself into?
This isn't what I signed up for.
I applied for the standard get dicked over hard and long
have fun picking up all the broken peices of your life once this is over
and don't ever expect to see any of the money you spent on me every again.
That's how it always is,
That's what I always get.
You know I don't like change.
You know I have a hard time dealing with it minor or big.
You know what, I'll get back to the list later.
Right now I just think I am going to curl up in a nice dark corner and scream
why me?
over
and
over
again until I cry myself to sleep in truly depressing fasion.