Where My Heart Is (Saeyuki and NanaMakoMiki) - FINAL [Saeyuki Ending]

[syworld]

Uwa. I'm really curious what will happen next.
Thank you for the update. 
And,
please update soon!

[fuu_kun]

actualy imma a bit too much not understand whats happen in this chapter 4 
for me its so hard to understand.. sorry 
BUT..
i will re-read it later then  (save spot to comenting) will edit this later

thankyou for updating~! 

[saeyu]

@Weird Panda: You will see how it happens this chapter At some levels things get resolved really quickly, but then there are more problems ahead...please read on!

@qweakb: Sorry for the late update!

@sastio13: you will see now!

@syworld: Sae is a decisive person here. There's gonna be a lot going on for him this chapter.

@fuu_kun: what happened is Sae and Mako switched bodies for a day. In Sae's body, Mako went on a date with Miki. In Mako's body, Sae's accidentally kissed Nana and sent the wrong message. When they swapped bodies, I continued to refer to their actual identities since it's largely from their POV. However, when I wrote about Nana/Miki/Yuki's thoughts, I refer to the outer appearance (e.g. Nana thought she's really kissing Mako), so that part might be confusing.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 5 - Aftermath

After Sae's left, Mako typed a quick mail to Nana and told her she will be available in the afternoon. She needs to gather her thoughts and think through everything. Naachan likes her...that way? If it's true, the mails didn't betray any of these thoughts. It's just normal, unimportant things like typical mails, but it does seem like she's urgent to meet with her again. What is their relationship now, after the kiss they somehow shared-ish? Is it simply child's play, or was she serious? She can't tell at all...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The only way to accurately describe how Sae feels now is the chilling sound of chains scratching the floor, in a way that a prisoner drags his feet slowly to the gallows to be hung.

"Shitsureishimasu~~~~" Sae exhales a deep breath and waits...

Hearing no sound coming from the room, he slowly slides the door open. Cyclops glare beams right into his eyes.

"Sensei..." He quickly walks in and turns his back to close the door so that he can escape Yuki's stare.

"Sit down." She said coldly and looks back down to her stack of paperwork. Sae crawls to his desk and start his own work. In addition to finishing the homework he missed, he needs to help do a number of administrative chores like photocopying, transporting books...etc. as additional punishment. Although he should be wishing this to end as soon as possible, his mind is also struggling on whether, or how, he should explain about what happened yesterday. He kind of even wished that Yuki would ask, but minutes then hours went by, until he's long done with his homework, and even almost over with his tasks. Yet she never spoke to him, or even kept silent when he tried to ask lame questions on whatever he could think of.

"Does it matter if the staple is parallel to the paper's edge, or should I do it sideways?" Sae face palmed himself for the fifth time for upping the uselessness of his questions.

Still no answer from Yuki.

"Are you mad?" He half-asked out of frustration without even thinking.

"Why should I be mad?" Yuki finally looks up and answers slowly and calmly.

"I...I'm, it's not what you think it is, that wasn't me, if you know what I mean..." Gah! Idiot! Who would believe you?

"It's none of my business..." The eerily calm voice is now simmering in anger. "Whether it's you or not, why do you think I care? I...I am absolutely not mad! No..I am mad! I should be spending a Saturday morning at home leisurely doing whatever, but now I'm stuck here, supervising an idiotic kid who thinks he's so super popular that the world revolves around him and his minion little girlfriends-- Mako, Miki, Tomomii, Tomochin and god knows who else! Guess what, I really don't give a dime, so finish up your work and disappear from my sight!"

Yuki is now shouting right at Sae, who is just staring at her outburst in shock. The papers he's holding slipped from his hands and floated to the floor softly.

"I am sorry." He finally said. He realises he has already hurt her without even getting to know her. To her, it must seem like he's just messing around. Undoubtedly, Mako wears her heart on her sleeves, so it wouldn't take a genius to observe how much he must have seemed to be in love with Miki yesterday. It's also undeniable that he did kiss another girl out of curiosity. He's just an immature little idiot she says he is. He feels like the worst kind of people on earth. For the sake of Kashiwagi Sensei, maybe it's better if he keeps his passion inside his heart. It's only...it's only that he's never felt so sure about his feelings as he is right now.

I'm not even good enough to secretly love her.

He steps away from her desk and gathered his things. A distant thunder is heard and it looks like a storm is approaching. He sighs at how gloomy the weather is, just like his state of mind now. He glances one more time at Kashiwagi Sensei, who has sat back down and didn't even look up at the sound of the sliding door. Then he left.

Sae walks out into the courtyard and heads towards to gate..Drips of water began to hit his hair, shoulders, and in no time, a flash of light penetrates through the thick grey layer of clouds. Rain starts pouring on him.

For some reason, his is undisturbed by all this. His mind is still transfixed on the unease gulp he saw under Kashiwagi Sensei's stone cold expression.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mako closes her umbrella and dusted a few raindrops off her sleeves before entering the cafe. As always, Naachan's power gaze has found her before their eyes meet with each other.

"Makotin!" Nana waves while Mako smiles hesitantly and sat down.

"How are you? I was so worried when you didn't reply my mails last night. Are you feeling unwell? You look unwell...." She stands up and reaches over the table to feel Mako's forehead. Not knowing how to respond to this normal gesture of caring, Mako blushes.

Nana can't hold her smile, seeing such an awkwardly shy Mako around her. Why is she acting shy, after being so aggressive to her yesterday at the rooftop?

"Ne Mako, I've ordered a set tea for us, it's very popular among couples now!"

Mako's eyes jump at the word "couples," but she quickly hides it with her smile and nods. Yappari, I can't do this...but, but what if I'm just being overly sensitive? Girls talk like that all the time, right?

"Ano..." Mako finally said after taking a sip of tea. "Did we...did we call Mikichan too?"

Nana looks puzzled. "Oh, did...did you want to see her too? I can call her now..." Her voice sounds a bit dejected.

"No, no it's fine, I'm just wondering if it's just us." Mako quickly answers.

"Yes, of course it is. We're on a date, right?" Nana smiles brightly.

"O yes of course!" Mako answers energetically without knowing how to properly react to this. I'll have to try harder! She said to herself. Just act normal and friendly, go with the flow, and see what happens....Nah!! That's like cheating on Miki! Noooooo, that's like playing with Naachan's heart!!

And so, the tea went on with Mako struggling with herself, trying to act like she's paying attention to Nana's talk, but seldom answering with anything of substance.

"Why are you so quiet today?" Nana finally asks after leaving the cafe. "Normally, you are the one that talks non-stop. Come on, let's go to the zoo!" She opens the umbrella and shields Mako from the rain, putting her arm around her shoulder protectively.

Mako however, suddenly becomes nervous and pushed slightly away. "No! I mean, no, I want to watch this erm...movie, please take me there instead!" She switched her voice into a playful, begging tone, after realising how weird and defensive she must have acted. A movie would be a great time...when they don't have to talk.

A thunder strikes quite loudly at the same time. Instinctively, Mako shudders and huddles closer to Nana, who grabs tighter onto her as well.

"Don't worry, Makotin, we'll do whatever you want." Nana smiles to herself at how baby-cute Mako is, so shy, timid and whiny at the same time. I want to protect her and make her happy. Nana once again reassures her feelings.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sae is already halfway towards home before his feet stop and refuse to drag on in the rain. The thunder gets louder and the rain pours madder. He twitches his eyebrows and look back to the street empty of pedestrians. He then decides to run back.

A loud bang sounds from the clash of the classroom door slamming open. At the very corner of this small special-study room, someone is seen crouching on the floor, hands wrapping her head and shivering in fear.

Sae scowled at himself for not trusting his instincts earlier. He rushes towards the corner and held Yuki into his arms.

"It's going to be okay." He said calmly and surely even as Yuki tries to struggle off his arms. Rather than fighting away from him, she's just panicking uncontrollably.

"There's no need to be scared..." Sae continued. "I am here. I am here." He starts humming a lullaby and stroking her back gently. Eventually, Yuki's shivers died down and she slumps into Sae's arms, burying her head into his chest.

For a long time, they stayed in this position until the storm subsides and a ray of sunshine passes through the top window.

"I used to hum like this when Makotin was scared and it always worked." Sae starts speaking as he can feel that Yuki has calmed down a bit. "She's always been like that since she was a toddler. Scared to death whenever there's a storm. Her dad would sing this old tune to soothe her--- *humming the lullaby again*--- but he passed away when she was 6. So I thought, poor Mako, who no longer has Daddy to rely on. I have to take his place. I've always wanted to be a man like him, because I've never seen my own father. Uncle is my only role model. But slowly, she grew up and got better at it, no longer needing someone to pamper her like this. Thinking back, I feel so proud that I can be such a special person to her. Yet, I do miss this feeling..." He slightly nudges and hugs her tighter.

Yuki keeps listening without a word, but she can tell the love in Sae's voice, a brotherly type of love that can't ignite an ounce of jealousy in her. If anything, she feels safer in his arms now.

"You don't have to tell me anything," he continues and rubs his cheek slightly on top of her her head. "If you feel like standing up, let me know."

For a few moments, everything is silent save for a few chirping birds outside in the field.

"I was...I saw them drown in front of me." Yuki finally opens up. "My best friends, Mari and Yumi. We're playing by the river when the storm came suddenly without a warning. We're...we're going to retreat back to the castle, you know, our stronghold. I remember I was assigned as the chancellor in Yumi kingdom while Mari is the queen..." She gave a little sad laugh here as she digressed. "And...and I used to be mad at why they get to be the royals while I am the third wheel or something...but on that day, they didn't listen to me. They tried to cross the river back to the castle, and I was the only one who watched from the other side of the bank. The lighting and rain was blinding me, and the thunder was drowning my voice as it also drowned their screams. I felt so helpless and guilty. Why? Why couldn't I stop them? I kept on thinking, I could've, could've..." Sae can feel a dampness of Yuki's tears seeping though his shirt and he pulls away, tilting Yuki's cheek gently up.

Yuki looks back at him, pleading to him for help. He can see the sadness in her dark watery orbs, and the helplessness of someone who's about to drown.

"No...no it isn't your fault. I know many people must have said the same to you..." He wipes the tears off her cheeks and continue, "but you know Yumi and Mari don't think this way. No, they don't. They want you to carry Yumi Kingdom's banner proudly as their successor don't they? And it's okay, it's totally okay to be scared of thunder and lightning, because from today onwards I will be there for you."

"Sae..." Yuki sobs and hugs him tightly. She doesn't doubt the sincerity of his voice. There's no other place she'd rather be than in his arms. Her thoughts went back to when they first met in the claustrophobic storage room, to the first kiss they shared which felt like it lasted for ions to her. She's gone out with others in college but she had never felt that way before. Yet she kept on denying that she felt anything special towards him. Her student. Even though they're only four years apart in age. It's still such a big barrier...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Miki feels her phone buzz and she almost jumped through the roof seeing that it's Sae's message to ask to meet with her. She got ready as quickly as possible and looked at herself again in the mirror. In a pink, short dress this time, she examines her developing body and frowns at how childish she looks, with thin thighs and baby fat on her cheeks. She wants to grow up and be a real woman. Taking the twintails off, she straightens her hair, combs it sideways and looks into the mirror once again at the cool reflection of herself, before leaving the room.

They decided to meet in the school courtyard, which is as empty as the morning, especially after the storm when all activities were cancelled.

"Hi!" Miki waves eagerly and runs towards a grim looking Sae.

"Sae-kun, why are we meeting here?" Miki asks naively without sensing the heavy atmosphere.

"Miki-chan, there's something I want to tell you." Sae looks straight into her eyes with knitted eyebrows. It's only then that Miki stands straight and looks back with a slightly gaping mouth.

"I am really really sorry!" Sae bows down ninety degrees. The rustling leaves in the breeze are the only thing that made waves of gentle sounds after Sae's voice echoed through the inner courtyard.

"If..." seeing that Sae did not continue, Miki hesitantly suggests. "if you meant what happened the other day...I, I am okay, I'm not a little girl anym..."

"No!" Sae looks back up. "I mean yes, that too, that is completely my fault. But what I mean is..." Sae gulped and finally said, "I already have someone I like."

Miki couldn't believe what she just heard. "Huh?"

"I, I can't be the person you deserve. I am sorry I wasn't clearer before. I am sorry about everything I have done to you. I know that nothing I say can correct what an ass I have been. However, I am not the right person. You deserve a much better person. Someone who knows you more than I can ever do even if I try. Someone who loves you back in ways you can't imagine."

Miki can't stop her lips from trembling while Sae spoke with such sureness in his voice. He's turn into a different person from yesterday. She knows what she's about to say is childish, but she said it anyway.

"But we kissed, didn't we? We laughed together, didn't we? Is it because I can't satisfy you? Because I'm only a child?  No..I can learn, I will grow up now, I will learn! Please..." Tears are already overflowing from her cheeks and hitting the floor like it's raining again.

"It's not you, Miki. You are perfect the way you are. I am just in love. Madly in love with someone else. I can't be a burden to you. I am so...so sorry." Even though he sounds resolved, his heart has already softened looking at the heartbroken Miki. He needs to toughen up though, for his sake and hers, and most importantly, for the person who has occupied the whole of his heart. The person who is now watching silently through the staff room window upstairs. He turns and walks away, leaving Miki crouching and crying alone as she digests this horrible news.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mako's shoulder is leaden with a heaviness she can't describe. How can such a light, small girl be so heavy at the same time? She stole a glance sideways in the dark theatre, and saw Naachan's happy face dimly illuminated by the changing lights reflecting from the movie screen. She is very concentrated on the movie, even as she circles her arms around Mako's, resting her head on gently on her shoulder. Susuga Naachan, who never takes her mind off anything when she sets her sights on it.

The movie is somewhat enjoyable, but Mako doesn't feel like laughing at all, even though she typically gets amused and entertained easily. There is less and less doubt that Naachan have special feelings for her, but she doesn't know if she can return those feelings. Worse still, she doesn't know if she can reject those feelings outright. It feels like everything is spiralling out of control, and she's the devil behind this.  Still battling with her own thoughts, she finds suddenly that the credits start rolling and many people are standing up to leave.

Naachan stayed still though. Could she have fallen asleep? Mako turns sideways again to check on her, but right at the same moment, Nana looks up from her shoulder and their faces are inches away from each other. She reaches up an inch higher and closes in for a kiss.

Mako is stunned at her action, although she should have known. Nonetheless it is the first time she's been kissed by Nana. Her lips are as soft as Miki's and she finds her mind wandering off to the passionate time she spent yesterday in the park. Physically, the sensations are the same, and unexpectedly, she's able to respond. She even wraps her arm round her neck and pulls closer in. However, the pecks and twists between their lips seem distant, like dances on the edge of her skin, and they eventually pulled away from each other. Mako is still grasping what this means, but Nana gave her a quick smile before proceeding to grab her bag from underneath the chair.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As with just now, Nana took Mako's hand and led her outside into a now sunny late afternoon main street. Mako yawns and stretches as if she's really relaxed, though her heart is still curled up as dense as a stone.

"Let's call it a day," Mako suggests. "It was really fun, thank you!"

Just when Nana wanted to respond, Mako's phone ring. It's Miki.

"Moshi, moshi, Mikichan?" Nana heard an eagerness to Mako's voice as she answers the phone.

"What? You're in where? Don't cry, I'll come now!" She hangs up and immediately starts running off. Nana is still confused at what's happened, but knowing that it has something to do with Miki, she picked up her feet and followed Mako's steps worriedly. To Nana, Miki is as precious as her own little sister. When they first met in the clean shift duty, Miki was still shy and timid due to her special status in class. Being the "odd one out" in their year, Naachan felt a special responsibility to reach out towards the younger genius. And it turns out that Miki is actually just an eager, good-natured child. She quickly opens up to the more reserved Nana, making their cleaning shift much more funner, something that Nana begins to look forward to. To her, Miki is a special existence, someone that, simply by being there, can make her feel happy and loved.

"Miki!!" Mako cries out to the crying girl who is sobbing at the corner of the park's bench, close to the ice-cream stand. It was where they shared their kiss.

"Mako~~~~" Miki throws herself into Mako's arms and Mako starts comforting her while asking, "What...what has happened? What did Sae-kun say to you?"

"He doesn't love me! Wuuuuuhhhhhh!!" Miki cries again without giving too much details, but Mako didn't press on. Meanwhile, Nana stood at the far end of the bench watching them both without saying a thing.

"Come on now girl...it's okay to cry..." Mako kisses Miki's forehead gently and swipes her thumb across her cheeks to wipe her tears. "Let's think about happy things, shall we? I've seen Frozen today, and I'm sure Mikichan will like it! Ah...what are the songs??" Humming a few notes on 'Do you wanna build a snowman', she continued, "Haha, wait, I can't remember it! Miki, we should go watch it together, okay?"

The sobbing girl looks at Mako's cheerful face and begins to stop crying. "He was so sweet yesterday...and he acted like he's really into me...you know, when we're kissing, he even got a...nevermind... but apparently, my feelings were only one-sided..." Miki's voice trails off.

"Miki, I'm sure you guys can still be friends..." Mako's voice also softens in guilt, as she's the person responsible for misleading Miki. "I know that you are sad, but you barely know him. You've never told me, by the way, what do you like about him?"

"I...I...I like..." Miki looks up to the sky and starts thinking. "I think he's tall, handsome and cute. His wink is charming...he's like a prince....and..."

Mako didn't say anything and continues to look at Miki while she struggles to come up with more reasons.

"I don't know! Isn't this love?" She asks.

"Love..."Mako suddenly looks down and pouts at the extremely difficult question. "I know that for me," She begins again and looks straight into Miki's eyes, "Love cannot be explained by any one reason. However, it feels as certain as something you can touch. You will start caring about how that person feels. You will put her happiness before yours, and you will try to learn everything about her, to the point that you get amazed even at yourself. That perhaps you know her better than herself.  So well that even stupid things are cute in your eyes. Like falling asleep even when we're supposed to be in deep conversations. Acting inappropriately because she can't grasp the atmosphere....little things like that."

Miki watches and nods slowly but Mako can tell she doesn't quite understand. At this point, a grumbling sound emits from Miki's stomach, and she began to burst into laughter, followed by Mako's too.  "Nevermind Miki-chan. I'll get you ice-cream." She stands up and is about to go to the ice-cream stand, when she suddenly remembers that Naachan also came. However, she looks around but her date is nowhere to be seen.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

This might look like it's going to end soon, but I can tell you that we're not even half way there and there will be more complications to come

BTW it's OKADA Majime NANA's Birthday today!!! Happy Birthday, happy 17th!

[Weird Panda]

Huahh.. Finally you update this fic, and finally yuki opened up her feelings towards sae. Yeah you right! You must put them in many problems so this fic's not end so soon.
I always read this fic over and over again while waiting for the update, because this fanfic's so addicting. So you must updating as often as possible 'coz I'm tired read the same saeyuki's lovey dovey moment
(I lie, I never get tired reading saeyuki closeness & their lovey dovey moment xD)

[sastio13]

woah you update it on NANA's BD!
Yeay!!!

after sae comforting yuki while there's thunder, does it mean SaeYuki closer?
poor miki, but sae did that to clear that and for her sake
ah naachan... where is she? after she watching them both from the far end of the bench, did she go? have she listen what both talk? or she just hide and still watching? jealous?
more complications, more dramas, more chapters!!! yeah! : shakeit:
thanks for your update!

[saeyu]

@Weird Panda: Lucky for you, there are more steamy moments for Saeyuki this chapter before trouble begins  I think Sae-chan's character here is quite good, so there will be more moments. Thanks for reading!

@sastio13: Yes, Nana is my second oshi after Sae, so she has a special place in my heart. I don't know how I did it, but the three musketeers are going to face quite a bit of heartbreak in this fic. Hope you enjoy it though!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*the tumblr version is slightly different from the one below, but the plot is not affected.

Chapter 6 - A New Beginning

The chime of the first bell on Monday morning signals yet again a fresh new start of the week. Strangely, Naachan had been late to school and Mako barely had to the chance to say good morning before they're cut off by morning classes. At lunch time, Miki bounced in right after the teacher had left the classroom, so they all went together for lunch. She's back to her usual self again, the cheerful and energetic girl who seems to have inexhaustible energy to spend.

"So...the kid went 'BAH' and everybody in class laughed including Nakamura Sensei!!" Miki finishes her stories and sat beside Naachan, opening her mouth to signal her request for feeding. Naachan smiled like a mother toward Miki and fed her a bite of the rice roll, and began to lecture her on the importance of concentrating in class.

".... it's fun once in while, but don't get too carried away....sensei has planned the lesson and it would be very troublesome to re-plan due to unwanted disturbances...."

Mako watches the usual serious Nana and Miki frolic and smiles. It seems that Miki's one-sided love and heartbreak did not have a lasting impact on her after all. Isn't it quite good to stay like this forever? However, as Nana's eyes strays and meet with hers, she notices that the normally straightforward girl glances furtively away.

"Naachan?" Mako called at the girl who is now hurriedly packing her things. "Can I talk to you for a second?" Miki had to take off early for lab preparation, leaving both of them alone for a short few minutes before lunch break is over.

Nana bit her lip and raised her head. She's trying really hard to smile but it somehow looks painful to Mako.

"You know, about that day...I mean, what happened here at the rooftop..." Mako tried to broach the subject but got stumped by her own words.

"Let's forget about it." To Mako's surprise, Nana rushed in to finish the sentence. It seems that she's finally been able to get this burden off her chest, and their eyes properly met for the first time since yesterday.

"Naachan, I was...it's just that I'm so confused...I don't know what I had done and what I should do about it!" Mako explained in frustration. She feels quite sure about her love towards Miki, but when it comes to Nana... Can she truly say 'no' to her love? Mako suddenly realises that she cannot answer.

"I should apologise, Makotin. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you. You love her but I still said selfish things...and did selfish things to you. I made you doubt your feelings, but after I heard what you said in the park, I am sure I never stood a chance. I hate myself for ruining things like this...so let's just, forget about it, please?"

"Nana," Mako didn't want to answer her directly and so she proceeded to give her a consolation prize. "You are a very important person to me, and this will never change." Can't we just be best friends like we were before?

"Thank you... and so are you, my friend." Nana smiled bitterly and left the roof. Things will never be the same again, Mako. Now that I have foolishly bared my feelings to you, you won't be able to look at me the same way as before. And I...I also don't think I can bear looking at you two without recalling the kiss we shared on the roof. The kiss that brought me to heaven, yet it is as fleeting as a dream that I can't fall back into. A dream replaced by a nightmare, which ironically came from another kiss, also with you. That kiss at the cinema...oh that kiss sent me straight to hell. I will never forget the feeling of hesitation, rejection and sourness. You became a different person...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Special supervision. See me at the 8th floor study room at 4pm.' The note was attached behind graded papers Sae got back in class. It made his heart jump in excitement, but he was still careful enough to destroy the note immediately without leaving a trace.

The 8th floor has always been almost unused due to the size of the student body, which has shrunk as part of the regional educational policy reform. Everything smells fishy with this appointment, but he can't think too much about it. All he cares now, is to see and be with Yuki.

"Shitsureishimasssu..." Sae quietly slid the door open and close. As he expected there's no one else but them on the whole floor, let alone the study room.

Yuki smiled gently and gestures him to sit.

"I don't want to guess and wonder and waste everybody's time. But I also don't want to force you to do anything. I just need to know, are you up for this or not?" She didn't mention a single thing about their relationship, but it was a damn straightforward question that Sae did not expect.

"Yuki, I...of course I know how I feel about you." Sae furrowed his eyebrows and strengthens his gaze. "I love you. But I also can't risk putting you in any danger. To me,  seeing you and talking to you is enough."

Yuki is impressed by the maturity in his answer, but this is not what she wants to hear. Flared with a bit of a temper, she rose up and leans forward, towering over the boy who slumps from the upright position he's been sitting at.

"Yu..Yuki..." He voice is a bit shaky. I don't think I can resist this glare!! He thought and tries to glance away, but she sweeps him up with brute force and slams him down lying with his back on the desk.

"Talking to you is not enough. I want to be sure of your feelings." The blackish tone in her voice is daunting and authoritative, but tantalising at the same time. Sae find himself breathing heavily and strangely giddy inside.

"No...." He said weakly, but his arms have already cupped gently on her waist sides.

"Pull me closer." She whispers, or rather, commands. Sae felt hypnotised, his mind completely taken over by some unknown power. She didn't wait for him to answer but plunges in for a kiss, a kiss which lit him on fire. Wanting to gasp for a breath of cool air, he instead opened access for Yuki's direct assault. He can feel that her hands are cupping his cheeks and messing around with his hair, while their bodies rub against each other, and he pulls her down closer. His hands start wandering, feeling the curves and softness of her body, while brushing through the strands of her long, silky hair, experiencing all the textures and wonders of Yuki's body at once.  One hand reaches up from her long torso, eventually landing and squeezing on the mound that caused her to pull away from their kiss.

"Sae..." she gasps and whispers on his ear. This drives him mad in desire. He sits right back up on the desk, lifting Yuki with him as he springs forward and spread her legs so that she's now sitting on him, kneeling on the desk with her knees enclosing his hips.

"This is such an embarrassing position..." yet there is not a hint of embarrassment in her voice.

Instead, she unbuttons his shirt and buries her face between his neck and collarbone, taking in a deep breath. Sae blinks at this weird sensation and his back arches in tension.

"I want to remember how you smell..." Yuki shifts a bit and start kissing his collarbone. She reaches under his shirt and caresses the contours of his well defined abs.

"Yu..Yuki, I can't handle...this..." Sae struggles to protest as he looses grip on how his body reacts.

"It drives me so mad the other day in the park, I want to prove that I can do better than a teenage girl." The teacher's dark aura intensifies and she plugs her lips back into the gaping Sae, who responds even more fiercely than before to the kisses.

At the same time, the doors slides open rudely though, revealing none other than a confused Oshima Yukio, who was completely jerked awake by the sight in front of him.

The two of them also turned to the source of the door slam, Sae's letting out a shout of horror, while the flushed Yuki tries to get off the desk.

"I...I must've read the wrong notice...sorry for disturbing..." Yukio gave a small, awkward smile and slid the door back close, walking away briskly.

"What..." Sae is still dazed and devastated at the turn of events.

The equally shocked Yuki smoothens her dress and slowly regains her composure. She didn't plan to take things this far, but all her bottled up feelings were released that time and they took over her mind, sweeping away the caution she had.

"You..." She finally realises the gravity of the situation and said urgently. "Go now! Go find him and tell him not to say anything. He's your best friend, right?"

Sae nodded and agreed. He jumps off the desk too and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Don't worry Yuki. Nothing will happen, I will keep you safe."

After saying that, he rushed to chase his friend.

"Yukio! Wait up!" He finally caught him down the stairs. Yukio tried to escape his eyes but he forcefully pulled him into the nearest empty room and closes the door.

"Sae...I mean...wow! I can't process this, this is crazy dude!" Yukio's face is suddenly lit in excitement, his grin as bright as someone who has just discovered gold.

"Yeah..."Sae finally sighs in relief that he is at least not abhorred at this. "Tell me about it...but seriously, please, don't tell anyone about it."

"Of course! Do you think I enjoy selling out my friend, my best friend, in my free time?" Yukio answered defiantly. "However, when did this all start? How, how can you keep me off the loop? It's every guy's fantasy and you, the baka one out of us, manage to do it first??"

"No, no this is not just a fantasy, it's not a game." Sae rest his hands heavily on the shorter guys' shoulder and said, "I love her. I've never been so sure of anything. And she loves me too. We're serious about each other."

He then proceeds to tell Yukio details on how it ended up like it was just now.

"I should be sorry I ran into you, but you know what? I think you should be glad I'm the one who caught you and not somebody else! Do you know you will put her in a load of trouble? Not only will she lose her job--- they might even sue her!"

"Yes yes I do, which is why I'm not planning to meet secretly with her anymore---at least, not on campus."

"Well, one correct choice made at least." Yukio nodded seriously. He never would've thought that out of the trio, the most naive, simple natured of them, the one who rejected dozens of girls, the one he always sees as little brother, will actually take such a bold risk and get himself into this situation.

"Seriously, do you think...I am not trying to do any damage or anything...but it's better if you don't continue..."

"This is impossible." Sae shook his head in certainty.

Yukio looks deep into his eyes and sees the resolve. Pursing his lips in deep thought, he finally said, "Okay then. Don't ever meet on campus. Don't get seen together, ever. If you must, you can meet in my mansion. That's the safest place. I will make necessary arrangements."

Sae's eyes widen at this thought that's never even once occurred to him.

"Come on now," Yukio patted his shoulders and laughed. "We're bros right? Getting the hottest girl in town...now that's my bro." He winks mischievously and turn to leave.

"Is this really okay?" Sae asked one more time.

"Yes yes, my mansion is huge and no one's ever home. I will arrange, just wait for my calls."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nana was just cleaning flasks and test tubes mindlessly in the laboratory in the late afternoon. She chose to stay behind after class because she's still trying to take her mind off Mako. Was she...dumped today? Nana continues to rub the stain off while thinking if her relationship had even started at all...

"Naachan!"

She turns and almost drops the flask from her hands. It's Miki standing at the doorway, beaming her energetic, broad smile that's just too comedic to watch.

"Mikichan! You almost scared me to death..." Nana turns back around before she smirks at Miki's funny cute expression and continues cleaning.

"Come on!" She rushes in and snatches the flask off the prefect's hands. "Let's go home together."

"Miki!" Nana takes the flask back and stares at the girl disapprovingly. Seeing her sweet clueless smile though, her heart softens. "I'm almost done, just a few more to go..." She goes back to cleaning, while Miki picks up the prisms lying beside it and start playing with them.

"By the way, why are you staying behind today too?" Nana asks as she puts the flasks away.

"I..." Miki stammers and quickly says, "I had some tennis club things to do..."

"Ah..." Nana replied with a shrug without further thoughts. Miki almost exhales a sigh of relieve until the door slides open again and this time, Takashima Sensei's head pops in.

"Nana-chan, thank you for being so nice and volunteered to help me out today, I'm leaving for the seminar now...Oh Miki-chan, are you here too?" The teacher just notices the other girl in the room. "How did the detention with Miyamoto Sensei go? I'm sure he has forgiven your prank in cookery class by now...hahaha! Take care girls!" She slides the door and left the exposed Miki frowning in horror, slightly turning to see Nana narrow her eyes.

"Miki..." Miki could hear herself gulp loudly in the eerily silent lab. "A detention again?" Nana's angry!

"Eh...heh heh..." Miki uses her ultimate weapon to cool the fuming prefect down with her killer smile. "I was just trying see if I can cook eggs on the stove directly..." She pouts innocently.

Nana closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

"Well, you have to understand how upset I feel today after being freshly dumped..." Miki continues her excuses.

"Miki-chan..." The serious Okada did not catch the fakeness in her tone and takes her hands into hers gently, holding them tight. "Perhaps I shouldn't be that harsh on you today..."

Miki tries to hide her smirk but continues to guilt trip her friend. "Yes, that's right! And I didn't even have time to ask you today: Why didn't you pick up my call on Saturday?" She hits Nana's shoulder gently flocks into her embrace, not noticing the frozen look on Nana's face.

"It kept ringing and ringing..." Miki's playful tone is slightly held back as she softens her voice. "Did you know that you are the first one I want to see after Sae-kun broke up with me? And in the end, you never showed up..."

"Sorry Miki-chan..." Nana strokes the girl's twin tails gently. "I was in a movie theatre, and the reception was bad..." She thinks back on the day when Miki called after the movie ended and her uneventful kiss with Mako. Even now, Nana couldn't understand why she stared at the caller ID and decided not to pick up the call. Maybe, it was because of her new found resolve to make Mako happy no matter what it takes, after she realised that they are not meant to be together...

"Well, luckily, I still have Makotin!" Energy seems to snap back into the younger girl's body, as Miki pushes Nana off jokingly and raises her chin up in pride.

"Mou...Miki-chan, don't get angry at me!" It's Nana turn to plead desperately.

"Well then, you'll have to promise to be nice to me." Miki smirks without looking back down. A rare chance that she's gaining an upper hand on Nana. Miki is making sure she is taking full advantage of it.

Nana quickly nods and added, "I've always been nice to you, right? Mikichan, you know you're precious to me." She flashes her teeth and squints innocently. Nice counterattack!

"Really? Well then," Miki looks deep into Nana's eyes and rests her hands heavily on her shoulders. "You must have lunch with me every day."

"Okay..." Nana nods and wonders when did they ever not have lunch together.

"You... you must walk me home unless either of us have club activities." Miki demanded further. Well, technically they both live in the same direction from school, but Nana's house is closer...but whatever!

"Okay, Miki, if it's for you, I can do it!" Nana nods seriously.

"Promise me you will always be by my side." Miki spells out her third demand.

"Why of course, Miki-chan. This goes without saying!" Nana pats the little sister's head gently.

"Lastly..." Miki makes a serious face, and leans in closer. "Promise me you won't lecture me more than four times a week."

"Miki!"

"I'm a sad sad girl that got dumped and my friend totally didn't come and comfort me..." Miki pouts and looks away cheekily...

"Doesn't this depend on how well you behave? For example, if you didn't suddenly prank on Sensei today..."

"Look!" Miki points out the window in horror and Nana naively trains her eyes towards the same direction. Only such classic tricks works on the woodenheaded Nana! Miki thinks as she took the opportunity to run away.

"See you downstairs! Be quick!" She slides the door close leaving the duped Nana wanting to shout at the mischievous girl, but instead sigh with a smile on her face.

[Kakeru15]

SaeYuki!!! Wowowow...
Yuki so aggresive here


Please update soon~

[Weird Panda]

Lucky me
Gosh! I'm dying waiting. But I'm very satisfied with the result
Just.. This yuki is really..

[sastio13]

i was at coffeeshop when i read this and i smiling like a weird hohoho
saeyuki scene..... man, yukio just ruin their moment...
can they continue? tehehehehe
aaah naachan *hug* mikichan *hug*
both being dumped....
naachan & mikichan really like a sister...
naachan....
hem looking forward the next chapter !
thanks for your update author-san

[saeyu]

@Kakeru15: there are still more sweet moments for Saeyuki this chapter, please look forward to it!

@Weird Panda: This Yuki...haha! She's quite aggressive, which is how I imagine she is in real life.

@sastio13: glad you enjoyed Saeyuki and Three musketeers moments! There are some happy and sad moments for them in this chapter...

=================================================================

Chapter 7 - Bitter and Sweet

*Six months later*

"They're here today..." A young girl whispers to her friend in the school cafeteria, gesturing to the corner.

"I'm so jealous..." Her friend replies while they look on to the couple. She's feeding him from a set of bento she made and they're both laughing happily as cream got onto his face.

"So sweet," Another friend joins in. "Mako-chan is so lucky. They've been going out for such a long time but still glued together like magnets. I heard that he goes watch every single tennis match after school!"

"Well, Sae always seems like a nice boyfriend. O look, he's leaving." The boy stood up and their eyes never let go of him until he passed by them, gave them a wink and left the cafeteria. The swooned girls watch the doorway long after he left, while Mako also looks onto it, expression changed from that of a relaxed nico nico smile to one of expectant nervousness. Then the target she's been waiting for appears, and her smile resumes.

"Yappo!" Nana sits down across her and begins munching down on her sandwich, clearly in a rush.

"Our shift starts in 15 minutes..." The serious girl mumbles worriedly as she continues to eat. Mako watches on for a few moments, but she's getting impatient.

"Come with me now." She pulls her arm up and tries to lead her off the cafeteria. Although there were some slight resistance, Nana swallows the last of her bites and dragged on behind.

They entered to the storage room for cleaning supplies and Mako slams the door shut, locking it.

Nana looked around, clearly caught in surprise.

"We agreed that that was our last time..." Her protest is drowned as the taller girl rushed towards her, and presses her lips forcefully down onto hers. Nana tried to push away from the arms that are already wrapped tightly round her body. She's clearly no match to the more athletic tennis player, but either way, her body has surrendered. It was never fair to begin with, since she knows she'll not be able to resist, and she's completely under Mako's mercy.

Muffled, obscure sounds emit as their tongues battle for dominance. Mako bury her fingers deep into Nana's hair, feeling the strands brush and run through between them. She reaches back to the prefect's nape, squeezing it gently as she pulls away to gasp for some air.

Nana looked at the blushed Mako, who finally released her grasp and backed off. She got what she wanted, but there's no joy in her eyes. It's like this every time. It is the part Nana hates most. Trying to suppress her anger, she turned away without a word and starts gathering the supplies they need. However, she feels a pair of arms wrapping around her waist from behind.

"Start getting ready, or we'll be late." Nana said, but the other girl didn't let go.

"Nobody cares. Let's stay like this for a while." Mako wraps around her and rests her cheek on her back. "I can hear your heartbeat. It sounds so soothing, Naachan."

Nana closed her eyes and imagine yanking Mako off, glaring angrily at her and telling her off with words she's been keeping in her chest, but in reality she didn't move one bit. Her mind flies back to the day that started this, three months ago.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*three months ago

"Go! Go...Miki....!! O, Mako! Yes Yes!" Nana never knew watching a tennis match could be that exciting! The doubles pair, despite being first years, have soared all the way to the school finals, beating many sempais their senior. They have just scored another point.

"Yesssssss!" Nana felt her throat being choked by her overly excited companion, who just gave her a quick hug round the neck to celebrate the pending victory.

"Sae...*cough, if you jump up and down like that, you're going to block the view of others!" Nana glared at him.

"Hai...hai hai......" Sae grinned and sat back down, releasing his arms and looked right across the court, where the tennis club teacher-in-charge was also tightening her fists and leaning forward expectantly, waiting for the match point. Sae's eyes finally met with hers and he gave a quick, wicked wink. Yuki suppressed her smile and looked away. Ever since their relationship was cemented by the eventful rendezvous a few months ago, not only were they assisted by Sae's good friend, Yukio, to meet secretly in his giant and highly secure mansion, they had also found the perfect camouflage to be together at school. The tennis club was essentially the only place that they can interact in broad daylight, and that's of course, thanks to Mako, who played up the relationship with Sae so that everyone wouldn't bat an eyelid when he comes to watch his "girlfriend" practice or play, befriending the teacher-in-charge at the same time...

"Okay, Miki's serving!" Nana cried again and Sae refocuses back to the court.  The opposing team adjusted their positions quickly to react to this fast ball that landed near the far edge of the court, and confidently struck back. This is met with Mako's strong forehand, sending it diagonally across, while Miki reached up the court preparing for the inevitable lob as the girl over the net tried to save the ball. As expected, the save created a weak, beautiful curve that allows Miki to smash the ball with speed so that it bounces between the opposing players and flew off court.

"Victory!" Nana shouted among the instant cheers of the crowd. Mako and Miki ran into each others arms and Mako even lifted the smaller girl up and made a full turn in delight.

"We won!!" Miki shouted happily, turning her attention back to court to finish all the formalities of hand-shaking and congratulations. Eventually they were able to leave the crowd and retreat back to the changing room, where Nana joined them.

"You guys were so great!! It's like you can read each other's minds--you're always so fast!" Nana said admiringly and started wiping Miki's neck with the cool towel she's brought.

"Well, it's all because Makotin is such a good player, always watching my back!" Miki grinned at her partner. "We must always be a combo! Always, always!" The girl started wriggling dramatically, causing the other two to laugh.

A sudden knock at the door interrupted.

"Come on in!" Mako shouted.

"Is em...Miki-chan here?" A deep voice replied instead.

Nana held her breath with eyes widened, but before she could react, the hyper girl had already answered the door.

"Ken-chan!" Miki's smile radiated as brightly as the summer sun.

"Congratulations!" He said. The boy is almost two heads taller than Miki. He's wearing the uniform neatly, adorned with black-rimmed glasses and tidy, short hair, but with slightly tanned skin.

Nana recognised him as the book club chairman, Aida Ken, from second-year. He'd always been nice to them, and even to herself, who's been somewhat an oddball at school, the type that normally doesn't attract attention from guys. Ken has been a really nice and friendly sempai, and he doesn't give an overly nerdy vibe even though he's bookish.

He stayed at the doorway of the room and glanced inside, nodding briefly to Nana and turned to Mako. "Congratulations to you too, Kojima-san!" Nana turned to look at the girl, whose heated cheeks from the excitement of the match was now frozen into an awkwardly bright smile.

Ken's attention had already turned back to Miki, as he patted on the girl's head gently while she took his hand and wrapped it round her palms.

"Thank you for coming, Ken-chan!" She looked at him, this time, smiling sweetly.

Nana's surprise could hardly be hidden with her infamous possessed glare.

"Miki..." She murmured. The said girl turned towards them, glancing at Mako then fixing her happy gaze on Nana.

"Naachan, Makotin...Ken-chan and I...we started going out a week ago. But at that time, I wasn't sure of anything and I didn't want to trouble you, but today, I decide, is a fateful day that I'll let my two best friends know..."

Still fixing her stare on Miki, Nana squeezed out a smile. She...she really did it?

At the same time, Mako walked passed her and grabbed Miki's hands tightly.

"Gosh!" Mako smiles brightly. "Why didn't you tell us earlier! This is great Miki! This is...you know, wow!"

Nana moved quickly to join in the chorus of 'congratulations'. "Yes Miki, how did this happen? I was surprised how you were suddenly into history books...but I..I didn't see this coming!"

"Yeah...it was all by chance...and it happened so quickly. Remember that project from class last month? I was researching alone in the library, and Ken-chan helped me a lot..."

Sensing that the girl standing beside her clearly has no interest to hear the epic tale of Kenmiki's love story, Nana quickly interjected, "Ken-chan, sasuga a reliable sempai! Do take care of Miki for me! And guess what, I don't want to stop you from having your celebratory date, so off you go!"

"But I haven't changed yet!" Miki protested.

"If Aida-san loves you, it wouldn't matter if you stink!" Nana cracked a joke forcefully unlike her usual majime self, and threw Miki's bag literally at her face, closing the door. "Besides, Aida-san thinks you are the cutest in tennis skirt, right?" Nana winks and slams the door shut, locking it from behind.

She turns back to the changing room, hearing the couple's footsteps fade away. Slumping down on the bench, Mako's frowning face bared her shocked and hurt feelings.

"She didn't let me know...all this time..." Mako shook her head and her hand started running through her hair, pulling it in frustration.

"Don't over react to this. You know how easily she have crushes on someone." Nana sat down beside her and stroke her back.

"Maybe it's the same this time for Aida Ken, and it so happened that he likes her too. But if it's just a child's love, it won't last long." Nana continued, but her words were not calming Mako down at all, as the girl broke into tears.

"It's not about that, Nana, whether it lasts or not, it doesn't matter." Mako sobs. "She knows. She knows what I am. That's why she never told me."

"That's not true..." Nana's eyebrows furrowed at such suspicious thoughts. Of course it's all just in Mako's head, and it is scary how love can turn a cheerful and carefree girl into such an insecure being. I know she didn't direct this towards you, but I can't tell you why?

"I... I don't know...I don't want to over think, but I...." She suddenly stomped her feet and slammed both of her fists onto her knees. "It's clear that I can never be!"

Nana couldn't answer back to such a statement, because the truth is as clear as day. She just sat there and continued to stroke her back.

Mako's sobs and breathing had slowed down, and she started letting Nana help her on her feet.

"Take a shower and change your clothes so you won't get a cold." Nana said as she took Mako's damp towel away from around her neck.

"It was such a happy day..." Mako smiled bitterly, reminiscing their victory. Everything was going so right. Objectively, she's always thought, she couldn't have found a partner that would know her better. They were indeed like twins with one mind. So close. But even if they are soul mates, she will never get that kind of love she yearns.

Nana helped pull off Mako's polo shirt, revealing her slightly glimmering skin from the  sweat that was still perspiring off her tired body. In the dim fluorescent light of the changing room, such weariness was strangely alluring. The glimmers on her skin--up and down, up and down--synchronised with her slow breaths. They danced rhythmically in Nana's eyes, as if she's looking into a kaleidoscope.

Little did Nana know that her brief zone out had caught Mako's attention already. She scrutinised Nana's dazzled, pale face and touched her hair.

The startled Nana jolted her head slightly, eyes meeting with Mako's.

"You want me, don't you?" Mako asked, the gaze in her eyes as soft as her own voice.

Nana gaped at this question, which sounded more like a trap than anything.

"Don't say 'no' to me too..." The soft gaze had turned into a pleading one. She found herself frozen in place even as she saw her drawing closer, her mind screaming at her. She couldn't tell if it was bidding her to 'stop' or 'go', but there was no more time to determine. Mako's lips have already melded into hers. It was slow, encompassing and steady at first. Then she found her arms held tightly by Mako's grip, who forced herself forward, taking a more aggressive stance. Before she knew, she was already responding honestly to the kiss, even if deep down, she knew it was not right.

Feeling out of breath after the bitterness of Mako's tongue left its mark on every corner of her mouth, Nana pulled away, looking sideways in a frown.

"We...we....should stop...you're not...yourself anymore." Nana managed to utter this and tried to struggle off Mako's arms.

Mako didn't express upset on her face, but she pushed Nana all the way to the wall and trapped her further between her arms. Planting deep kisses on her neck, she continued to assault silently and made small bites on Nana's collarbone, causing her to wince. Nana found that she's losing her own battle, as her body willingly gave in. She knew she could've stopped earlier and she could and should stop now, but she didn't. Mako looked up again and smirked as their eyes meet. This time, it was Nana who leapt for another round of kiss.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*back in storeroom, present

"You know you don't have to strain yourself too much..." Nana ventures. "If you don't like acting as a couple with Sae, it will be fine."

"It doesn't bother me." Mako answered, continuing her hug from behind and brushing her cheek up and down on Nana's nape. Nana can feel the slow, warm breath tickling her skin. She recalls how Miki's eyes budged at the sight of Mako suddenly grabbing hold of Sae and kissed him unabashedly, deeply and publicly in the cafeteria shortly after the tennis match. That might as well be the announcement of their engagement, as it became the topic of even the most uninterested students in the whole school for a long time. Nana's heart aches just by thinking about that sight, not out of jealousy, but for the tumult going through inside of Mako that contradicted so greatly with the sunshine-perfect facade she was trying to put up.

"It does, you can't pretend to be another person you're not." Nana finally breaks off Mako's arm and turned around, staring at her friend seriously.

"You're not happy, you're not with someone you love, you're exactly the opposite of what you act outside of this room."

Instead of confronting with this truth, Mako smiles brightly and caresses Nana's cheeks. "At least I can be myself here with you." Turning around and starting to gather the buckets and towels, she continues, "It's the only way to make sure people won't find out about Kashiwagi sensei and Sae."

That's just an excuse, Nana thought. She is not doing it for Sae...she's just trying to hide away from Miki, who...who herself, is another source of headache for Nana. Mako knew better not to have her hopes up this time, and she didn't correct Miki's perception that Sae is going out with her either. She must have felt that this is the last safety shield between herself and Miki. She's that afraid of letting Miki know her feelings...

"Let's go!" Mako raised the buckets cheerfully and unlocks the door, whistling as she skips out. Nana stays in her spot as she gazes on sadly at Mako.

"Come on," Mako turns again and smiles, finding that Nana is not following. "You're the best, you know?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*in the Oshima residence

The logs at the fireplace made a crack as Yuki nudges closer to Sae. They're cuddling on the couch with Yuki lying on Sae's arm, resting her head on his shoulder while he reads a book with his other hand. Yuki seems content playing with his fingers and getting warm with his body-heat. They've spent many afternoons together just hanging out in the room readied for them in this safe haven, where they don't have to worry about any eyes and ears. In this cold, snowing day, Yuki feels especially grateful that Yukio has taken the lengths to secure entrance to his mansion through different timeslots and methods, ensuring that they will never leave a trace, even under the most curious' eyes.

"This place is always empty..."Yuki muses aloud.

"Yeah..." Sae answers dreamily. "It has been like that since his dad died. After all, the business is long done for without the head."

"Do you think Yukio could've taken over?" Yuki asks.

"Haha! A 17 year-old yakuza head? He will probably even fail as a yankee! He once told me that his father has made all necessary arrangements so he wouldn't have to get involved ever again. It's harder financially, but I have no doubt Yukio is happier about it."

Yuki nods with a soft "em" and closes her eyes. The lavender oil she's brought has a very soothing aroma, which brings her imagination to the warm, beautiful Hokkaido summer.

"I feel like...I'm going to fall asleep soon..." Sae said. "Why do I always fall asleep here..." There was really no time for deep thoughts here as Yuki felt the slow air of Sae's breath beating on the back of her head, indicating that the boy has already rest down for his nap.

Yuki sits up and look at the smooth, olive coloured skin on Sae's cheeks. He's so young, cute, and pure. While I...

Her thoughts wandered back to the time when they first began their relationship, and had a huge fight.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*five months ago

"You can just be honest with me if you don't want this to continue, I can leave this room and never come back again, right this very second!" Yuki glared at the clueless looking Sae in their usual meet up place at Yukio's mansion.

"What...what are you talking about? I dream about seeing you every waking minute of my life." Sae tried to soothe his fidgety girlfriend, whom he assumed was going on a random bout of PMS-ing.

"Empty words like that don't hold any water for me, you know what you did." Yuki felt angry at her side, thinking how she's being treated like a fool. She didn't want to say it out though, what she saw through the taxi window that day. She somehow didn't want it to come through her own mouth, as if it would preserve any false sense of dignity she was trying to protect.

"Look, I seriously don't know what you're talking about...why have you been so strange lately?" Sae's arms laid on her shoulders heavily. "I haven't done anything and you should stop being paranoid."

"Fine." Yuki simply said and stood up, leaving the room and ending their date abruptly.

"Yuki, where are you going?" Sae called out and chased after her. Her walk sped up into a jog until she left from the side door of the kitchen to the side street, and Sae couldn't follow because he knew they couldn't be seen together.

"Fuck." He punched the door heavily and sighed.

As Yuki kept walking, thoughts ran through her head: Is this the price of being in an ultra-secretive relationship? She didn't think that she would cherish doing cheesy stuff like going to the movies, or letting him take her out to a dinner, but the fact is, she couldn't do any of things that every couple takes for granted. She couldn't even go up and confront him that day, when she caught a glimpse of him laughing with the baker's daughter inside the shop through the window. She was wrapping her arms around his from behind. Feeling more suspicious but convincing herself that it must had been someone else, she picked another evening the same time a week after to return to the spot. The bakery had just closed, and the owner was just clearing out things, but there, she saw Sae entering the shop through the backdoor again, greeted by the smiling baker's daughter, who looked like a happy, regular high schooler. Someone whose type he's supposed to be with. Yuki swallowed this hard feeling and boarded the bus...

The cold war between them ensued for another week as Sae kept texting her while Yuki chose to ignore all his advances. The day of the Charity Ball came, and she had to be present as all teachers and students attended. As expected of the show they'd been putting up, Sae came with Mako as his date. Yuki knew it was all fake but she couldn't hide her bitterness, not when it was also actually her own birthday, and she never told Sae about this. She's once again reminded of how crooked their relationship was.

Sae danced with Mako most of the time, but in the second half of the Ball, every one started switching partners, and some students even came to invite her for a dance. She obliged, angrily biting her lip as she saw Sae inviting Tomomii, then Tomochin, then Mariyanu...and even the art teacher, Yamamoto Sensei to various dances.

Circling in the dance floor as each of them had different partners in their arms, Sae's eyes meet with Yuki's sometimes.

"Yuki-chan" He mouthed stealthily at her and winked, but she simply flared her nostrils and looked away.

The Ball was almost ending now. After thanking Watanabe, another young, beautiful biology sensei for their dance together, Sae finally walked up to Yuki.

"Kashiwagi-Sensei," He smiled brightly, "May I?" Yuki was so ready to refuse as her brows knitted together with unease, but Milky-sensei literally pushed her off the chair.

"Kashiwagi-chan!" Watanabe Sensei swoons. "Don't hesitate! You'll never get another chance to dance with the cutest ikemen in school again!"

With that push, Yuki landed straight into his arms and he spooned her into the dance floor.

"You can't escape from me now," He smirked like a victor, leaned down further and whispered into her ear.

"Miyazawa!" She looked up but felt that her cheeks and ears were heating up. He looked so nice in his white suit, and his hair was neatly combed today, unlike his usual more messy and casual street style. The confident smile lit up his sparkly eyes even further. He felt like a royal, reliable aristocrat... a playful, cheeky young prince no more. Slowly she eased herself into his embrace, surrendering her struggle and followed his lead as they swirled and swirled in the music.

The song finally ended and in a seemingly dreamlike state, she's led back to her table.

"Relax," He looked down to the just seated Yuki tenderly. "And stay till the end." He then walked off and disappeared in the crowd.

Finally waking up from her daze as Milky sensei patted on her shoulder, she realised that the music of the last song had sounded up. Disappointedly, she gazed towards the dance pool to locate the familiar face of her boyfriend, who would be sharing the most important dance with his fake lover, but the couple was no where to be seen. She turned back to the table to finish the final course of her meal silently as the love song played till the end.

With the final applause sounding all across the banquet hall, the annual School Charity Ball had reached the end. Some people had left already, and others began to say goodbyes or rise to leave. Yuki stood up too with her purse.

A loud blast from the speakers interrupted everyone's chitchat.

~Happy Birthday to you...~~~~~

The most well known song of this planet started playing on the speakers and stunned Yuki too. Looking ahead, she saw a bunch of tennis team students walking towards her, but Sae was also among them, with a lit up birthday cake propped in his arms.

"....Happy~~~Birthday to you~~~~~Yeah!!" The students finished singing the song and cheered and clapped as Sae laid the huge cake on the table.

"Kashiwagi-San, Happy Birthday!" Sae beamed while the others followed on their greetings.

"Why...how...how did you guys know?!" The reaction from Yuki's face was priceless.

"Didn't you forget that Maeda Sensei is our spy?" Akicha Bucho laughed and explained.

They all cut and shared the cake, everyone eating happily and marvelling at the taste.

"Mako!" Mayumi said with thumbs up. "It was really good, thanks for ordering! Did you say you got it as the Ariake Bakery? I might go next time too!"

"Thanks!" Mako smiles and winks at Yuki. "But it's limited edition because it was specially made...at least, that's what I was told by the baker himself."

"Ah...I see..." Mayumi continued to munch on without much thought. However, the wink from Mako made Yuki wonder if....

At the same moment, her phone buzzed and she checked the message.

"Rin-chan: Although I couldn't be the first to say Happy Birthday, although I couldn't take you to the Ball, I could make you the best cake in the world. That's coming from me, who can't even cook noodles properly!! <(￣︶￣)> Anyway, if you wondered how long it took me to perfect this, ask Ryoha-chan, my master from the Kitagawa Bakery who patiently taught me for 30 hours! (屮゜Д゜)屮 I...I don't know what is going on between us, but I will do anything to see a smile on your face. Love you, Sae."

It was....Oh! How dumb of me! Yuki thought as she connected the dots! She tried hard to fight back the tears as she savoured every bite of the cake. She looked up and found Sae smiling at her, mouthing "I love you" before he left the party quietly by himself.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*back to present, Oshima Residence

Yuki heart clenches at the thought of how pure his love for her is-- how utterly trusting, patient, and committed he is, but it hurts since she knows she cannot uphold her side of the bargain. She struggles a bit and stood up from the sleeping boy, leaving the room quietly.

[Weird Panda]

Makonana scenes make me on fire hahah
And wazzup with you, yuki?

[saeyu]

sorry for the late update...been busy travelling and everything...Please enjoy the next chapter! I hope the twist isn't too bad...lol

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Chapter 8 - Betrayal

The morning bells have just rung, and the first class today for 3-D is Literature. Sae looks out of the window and see the field whitened into a smooth slab by last night's snow. I few trails of footprints disrupted this otherwise tranquil landscape, and just then, in the cleared diagonal pathway leading to the school building, he found Yuki and a few other people dressed in suit marching steadily towards them.

"What the..." He whispers...Why is she so late and who's she with? He looks around and no one seems to have paid any attention to those few moving black blobs outside. Yukio is wrestling as usual with Akimoto and others are equally occupied. The door slides open, revealing none other than Maeda Sensei.

Everyone in class stopped their activities, some rubbing their eyes to make sure they are not dreaming.

"Ohaiyougozaimasu!" The sweet looking young teacher smiled and greeted as if it's normal to suddenly have her back.

"Ano..." A student in the first row speaks up.

"Ah yes, it's quite sudden, isn't it?" Maeda laughs lightly. "I have been told to come back and take over the class from today. Well since it has been six months, please give me some time to adjust! After all, all I've been able to think of these days is milk, diapers and Gon-chan's non-stop crying....haha!"

The class laughs out loud at the mention of her new-born baby daughter, which some students even managed to meet through visiting her privately. Their beloved sensei is back.

"But.." Akimoto-san asks what others are thinking. "What about Kashiwagi-Sensei, our substitute teacher?"

"Oh yes, it's a shame that there isn't time for her to do a farewell with you all. But don't worry, we've been friends since high school so I can definitely arrange a get-together some time. Let's start our lesson now."

"But wh..." Sae half stood up to ask further, but Maeda simply turned to the blackboard and started writing.

"Now let's turn to page 27..."

The lesson started with millions of questions filled in Sae's mind. He stole a glance at Yukio, who also looked back in worry. The two of them share a secret that the rest didn't know-- a secret that makes both of them nervous at Yuki's sudden departure.

Sae can't stop himself from thinking the worse. How, or why, did she get found out. And why is she back to school then? If they were indeed found out, what is he still doing in this classroom? Shouldn't he be summoned off early on already? Sae started bending his knuckles unconsciously, ignoring the glances he's elicit from those sitting around him, who turned to him due to the annoying clacks but instead found him shifting about nervously.

The public announcement system suddenly rings, and Sae closes his eyes, waiting for the death knell.

"Could Oshima Yukio, Oshima Yukio, please head to the special administrative room in the ground floor immediately."

Everyone's attention turned sharply to the shocked little guy, who never thought his name would be called. Exchanging uncertain glances with Sae, he stood up and finally managed to mouth, "Daijoubu, I won't say a thing..." before heading off the classroom.

Sae's completely stunned by the turn of events. Why not me? Did they find out she was going to his mansion, and thought her secret lover is Yukio? Am I putting my friend out as scapegoat? No way...no! He sprung up violently, causing the whole class, whose eyes were still fixed at the door Yukio closed behind him a moment ago, to turn back toward him.

"Miyazawa-kun," Maeda Sensei finally came to him and urge him to sit down. "Oshima-san will be fine. Now please sit down so we can continue our lesson."

Sae wanted to answer "Hai" as his head turn slowly towards Maeda. After hesitating for a second, he chose instead to run off towards the door, slamming it close and left without saying anything.

Maeda's brows furrowed and she sighs heavily, but for some reason, she did not press on and gestures Akimoto to sit down instead of trying to chase after Sae.

The run from third floor to the ground in empty hallways and stairs seem like the longest journey in Sae's life. He cannot deal with this suspense and bizarreness, the million possibilities all jumbled into one big mess as he runs and runs, trying to catch up with Yukio. His senses are jolted back to reality with the sight of Yukio standing face to face with Yuki at the doorway of the room at the far end of the corridor, bringing him to a halt as he stares on.

"Oshima Yukio, as we have explained to you just now, you are now arrested." A...Arrested? The sight of Yuki, taking out a pair of handcuffs and locking Yukio's extended wrists into them....this all seems like a murky scene in a crazy dream sequence. The faceless crowd that surrounds them start escorting them away from the room out to the exit of the building beside it.

"Wait up!" Sae finally shouted and ran, catching up with them right outside at the front foyer.

"What is going on?" He demanded as he pushed away from a few grey suited men.

"Miyazawa-san, please go back to class." It is just then, that the short, gray-haired principal appeared in his sight.

"No, Yukio! What are you doing to him?" He pushes forward and grabs Yukio's arm, who simply looks at him calmly with a bitter smile.

"It's not him!" Sae shouts and looks around at the other men, who now appears to be clearly police officials. "It's me, it's nothing to do with him." He tries to yank of the two officers who are now grabbing hold of him.

"Stop it!" The sharp voice of Yuki pierces through and she emerged from the men with a gesture for them to release the boy. Sae eyes her from top to bottom, and finally realised that she too, is dressed in grey suit, with a neat ponytail tied behind and sporting a pair of plastic, black-rimmed glasses.

"Sae, you...you need to calm down........" The confident looking young woman looks stumped with guilt the minute she starts explaining.

"Miyazawa-san...is it?" Another man stepped in to fill the void of the awkward silence. "We are the Special Crime Investigation Unit from the southeast district police station. Your friend Oshima Yukio, is now under arrest for international illegal drug trade. Please refrain from interfering with our operation."

The group starts walking away, seeing how Sae just stands and stare into the blank in shock.

Yuki's eyes did not break away from Sae, and it wasn't until the group had clearly moved on that she started dragging her feet a little.

"Yuki!" Sae finally called out.

"Sae, I'm...I'm actually a police officer sent here to investigate on the head of the Oshima yakuza group. At first, I couldn't believe that our leads will trace all the way to a high school student...and I really really didn't see this coming, but I found it, I found evidence that I can't deny, and..."

"You used me?" Sae interrupts the confession in a raised voice. "You, used me to get to Yukio!?" It is awful for Yuki to witness the trembling, teared up Sae, whose veins are almost popping out on his neck. He's in such great pain, but she can't deny what he's just said. I didn't use you on purpose Sae, I really didn't, but I hurt you...

"Sae, could we talk about it later? I need time to..."

"Well, who is giving ME time to swallow all this?! There's nothing...nothing to talk between us anymore!"

Their exchange was interrupted by another commotion from the group in front, caused by a girl who ran across the field from the other side, pushing through the startled men into Yukio's arms.

"Yukio! No, no, don't do this!" She pleads desperately.

"Haruna, it's going to be fine. I will be okay." Yukio raised both of his hands, cuffed together, and tried to stroke the crying girl's hair gently.

"It is all my fault! If it wasn't for my sake, you wouldn't end up like this!"

Seeing Kojiharu's sudden appearance, Sae rushed back towards the group of officers. He has known Yukio's girlfriend for quite a few years now, and she's just as dear a friend to him as his close buddies at school, even though Haruna doesn't go there. He knew from conversations with Yukio that they were childhood friends, and she herself, is from another important gangster family.

"Nyannyan!" Sae calls her nickname as the police is violently pulling her apart from Yukio, who can only look on sadly to his lover.

Helping to restrain Haruna from leaping back towards Yukio, the group finally get into their vans and cars, engines ignited and are all set to leave.

"Take care of her for me, Sae." Yukio asks calmly of his friend from inside of the passenger's seat. Sae has his arm wrapped round the bawling Haruna now, who clutches on the window sill of the car door, cherishing the last sight of Yukio.

Sae nods and said, "Sorry, Yukio, it's me who've brought about all this."

"No it's not you, I deserve it. I knew what I'm getting into the day I decided to walk down this path." Sae's surprised at this answer, but he didn't press on.

The windows start rolling up and the car began to move.

"Don't blame yourself, Sae!" The last trail of Yukio's shout was shut off by the rolled up window and they both chased until the car picked up speed and disappeared down the road, along with the other police vans. Totally out of Sae's vision and mind, Yuki still can't take her eyes off the school's direction as her van sped off.

"You should take some time off." Said a man sitting beside her, who is her superior in this operation. You should never put your real feelings in gamble, or you'll always end up losing. The man thinks to himself and shakes his head at the distressed young rookie.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back at school, it doesn't take one afternoon for rumours of the arrest to spread all among the students. They all knew that Yukio is somehow, distantly connected to the crime families, but he never gave a sign that he's involved, given his bright character and a kind, helpful reputation. Everyone was also shocked that the substitute teacher is actually a cop. Maeda Sensei explained that they were really friends at school and college, so she was in the know about this operation all along.

"So, this means that half of Kashiwagi-Sensei's back story is true, isn't it?" Miki wonders loud at the table, where the three musketeers are sitting. Of course, like the rest of the school, she is completely oblivious to Yuki's relationship with Sae, which makes her like a distant observer compared to the other two who sit right across her.

"I guess so..." Nana managed to answer some nonsense to keep the conversation going. She's more concerned at Sae and how Mako is coping with it.

"Yukio-san was a very friendly sempai," Miki continues with genuine worry in her voice. "I hope it's all just a big misunderstanding."

"How is it right for someone to just lie to the whole school, even for the sake of crime-solving?" Mako's temper rose with her voice. She has been silent throughout the conversation, and this caught both Miki and Nana off guard.

"Kashiwagi Sensei..." Miki answered and thought back to the nice memories they had in the tennis club together. She really seemed like the easy-going type and would've made a good teacher with her surprisingly sharp wit combined with a soft, caring side. What a pity she is an undercover cop...

"Stop calling her Sensei, she's just a liar who cares about no one but herself!" Mako stood up and shouted directly at Miki for the first time in her life. She is really angry for Sae's situation. She tried calling him and looking around at school but he's nowhere to be found. She understands his need for some time alone, but she can tell how devastated he is. His lover, using him to gather evidence against his best friend. "How sick..." she murmurs in disgust.

"Stop it, Mako..." Mako felt a hand on her arm, causing her to glance briefly at the head shaking Nana. She finally notices that Miki has teared up at the sudden outburst from Mako, which must seem out of the blue for her.

"I..." Miki's voice shakes, "I'm sorry Makotin." She stood up and ran off. "Miki!" Mako called out but it's too late.

She punched her fists on the desk in frustration. What am I thinking? Nana continues to fix her worried stare at the empty doorway, but rubs Mako's back gently to calm her and make her sit down. Why are so many things happening at once?

Feeling the stream of tears flowing non-stop, Miki ran and ran until she locks herself in a small instruments room somewhere away from everyone else. She's not that surprised at how upset she is, nor at how her mind can't stop the flood of tears for a mere outburst from Mako. It isn't just this one incident, when she feels the distance between them widens to a point she can't recognise. Mako can be so kind, yet so fickle at the same time. She still remembers the pang of pain she felt when she sees Mako kissing Sae in front of her, in front of everyone. It's not about Sae because she no longer have any feelings for him at all. It was more about the distinct feel that she did it to target her. Does she secretly enjoy hurting her? And it was not just this. There is a lingering feel that Nana and Mako shared some secret that is hidden from her, perhaps because they are being overly protective, or perhaps it is about something she shouldn't want to know. But no matter what, it was this secret that puts a wall between Nana and her. This wall that she has been trying so hard to climb over, with every possible means she can think of. Nana, can't you just see? Can't you just see what you mean to me?

Outside the door of the instruments room, Nana traces her pale hand from the paint on the wood to the bronze, cold doorknob. She knew Miki is inside, but she couldn't bring herself to open it. She's worried about Miki, but she's also scared of the one thing she knew she can't do for her...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Where are you going?" Mako demands as Nana eventually stands up after coming back to the cafeteria to comfort her.

"Let's go find Sae-san." Nana knows that Mako will never rest in ease if she keeps the anger bottled up in herself. Mako doesn't look too willing, to Nana's surprise, but she stood up and allowed Nana to lead her by hand, all the way back to the Miyazawa residence. All the while, she looks frustrated and even impatient. Nana can't tell what is going through her head but she can guess it has all to do with Miki...

Unfortunately, or as expected, Sae's not at home.

"Well, keep me updated and don't you get too worried," Nana holds Mako's hand and squeezes assuringly. "He's probably waiting at the police station, and maybe Kojima-san is with him too."

Mako nods but didn't let go as Nana tries to pull away. "I am going home to study now. It's almost eight."

"Come with me." She simply says and walks quickly towards the left, pulling Nana from behind.

A few minutes later, they reached Mako's home. The clueless Nana stumbled into the porch and quickly took off her shoes as Mako marches on in without releasing her hand.

"Shitsurei...." Nana tries to announce her intrusion into the Kojima residence.

"There's no need. Mama is not at home."

Indeed the living room is empty. Reaching home did not seem to have calmed Mako although she finally lets go of Nana and flings their bags off to the floor.

"Makotin, I think that's enough." Nana states as she concentrates on the frown on Mako's face. "Throwing little temper tantrums is not going to help you fix your relationship with Miki."

Mako eyes Nana with unchanged expression but didn't say anything.

"You know that you've been getting worse. Sometimes, you treat her like a goddess and pampers her like a child, and some day, you can get extremely distant to her. Now you even shouted at her for absolutely no reason. I know Sae's situation is very upsetting to you, but you also purposely took it out on Miki." Nana finally says what she's been observing so far. She comes a bit closer and strokes Mako arm. "It's because you love her, and you can't contain your angst while you're pretending to be someone else. I know it's hard on you....but you are hurting her too when you hurt yourself."

Mako sees a trickle of tears sliding down on one side of Nana's cheek. She reaches up with her thumb and wipes it off her face.

"Yes, you are right." Mako answered softly at first, but that lapse of tension was very brief. Her looks turn sour and suddenly, she pushes Nana down onto the couch beside them. "But I hate it when she thinks I am happy." She locks Nana's shoulders on the couch with her arms and towers on top. "I hate it when she talks about you. I hate it when she thinks it's fine for me to swallow that everything she thinks of is about you. And I am jealous that she's within your reach, not mine." She moves closer and closer, so that Nana can see the rage in Mako's eyes directly above her.

"You need to calm down." Nana looks away in guilt. Mako's eyes widen at this suspicious look. So you do know, Nana..you do!

"Don't tell me what I need to do!" Mako bursts out. She forces a kiss on Nana's lips and pins her down further as the girl below struggles to move away.

"I don't want to calm down. I just want to kiss you, now." Mako demanded. Her kisses have turned into a strange kind of drug that Nana's addicted to. Something she dreads but looks forward to at the same time. Her mind goes numb as Mako releases her desires, frustration, and jealousy towards her.

A guilty pleasure that leads to nothing...Nana thought as she closes her eyes and feels Mako's lips...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We'll wait here until the lawyers call us, okay?" Sae led the physically shaken Haruna back into his house after midnight. Trying not to wake anyone up, they both went upstairs tiptoed and settled down in his room.

"Thanks for having me..." Haruna sat down on the rug and wrapped her arms together.

"It's all right, I know it will be tough to go back home." Sae said and start unpacking her overnight bag for some basic stuff.

"Here, take a bath and get some rest."

"It's okay...I...I want to let you know what's going on. I don't want you to feel disappointed at Yuu-chan." Haruna looks up and her red, weary eyes are once again welled up in tears.

"Nyannyan, don't be silly, I'm not disappointed at Yukio. I know he does everything for a reason. Don't worry about me, now is the time to get some rest."

"A year ago," Haruna pulls Sae's hand and led him to sit down nonetheless. "Shortly after Yuu-chan's father died, they really pulled out of all underground businesses, but my papa's ties with them had been deep, and he's not willing to accept a chunk of his income simply gone because Yuuchan decides to pull out."

"There were considerable back and forths, and Yuuchan tried to deal with it as tactfully as he can, so that it won't affect his relationship with me. However...perhaps...perhaps Papa is right; you can't just quit if you are going out with a gangster's daughter. He told Yuuchan to choose. Either they continue with their dealings, or he will disown me and send me away to another country, cut me off, and never allow us to meet again."

"Yuuchan was torn between my safety and succumbing to Papa's demands. Even though I would rather break up with him, he could see through my anxiety. And selfishly I let him choose that path. It was all because of me, because I'm too weak to be away from him, to accept not seeing him again. He used his future-- his righteousness and conscience -- to exchange for my happiness!"

"He started setting up the network and dealing drugs overseas again. It was such hard work because he was never groomed to do it. He wouldn't let me help him; he said, 'I don't want to taint your hands with dirt like this...' his eyes is full of guilt, but he's always smiling and cheerful. He didn't want me to feel guilty. These past few months, we met and went out like a normal couple, and for a while, even I am fooled that everything would be okay. But of course! He's just hiding it really well from me! I'm such a fool!"

Haruna's confession fills in all the details Sae hadn't have the chance to process during the day. So that's exactly what he meant when he chose to "go down that path" himself?Even though he's done something wrong, Sae just can't get angry at Yukio at all, for doing things he has to do to protect a loved one. He wonders if he can do the same for Yuki, or rather, why couldn't she do the same for him, and just turn a blind eye? He sighs as the pain of betrayal creeps up his heart again.

"I'm sorry Sae!" Haruna kneels and bow down deeply. "Yukio is a good person, it's me that has ruined his life!"

"Haruna," Sae smiles and propped her back up. "This is not the time to blame yourself. It's not your fault, it's your dad, who manipulated both of you. Yukio wouldn't want to see you sad over this. In fact, it's so 'him' to do this. He's always been reckless when it comes to protecting the ones around him. I don't think you alone, or anything you say, could've changed his mind anyway. And I'm proud of him, really. I hope I knew earlier to share his burden...instead of...instead of being the one who helped betray h..."

"Sae-kun, you just said, it's not a time to blame yourself."

"Yes, that's right." Sae breaks into a small laugh. "Don't want to see my pretty Nyannyan crying all through the night. We need to get genki and be ready for tomorrow!"

The girl stopped crying a bit and smiles at Sae for his kind words. Leaving her for some alone time, he occupies another corner of the room and starts texting the lawyers for more updates. He then calls Mako to tell her he's fine, but nobody picks up the phone. Meanwhile, Haruna rests on the bedside as her mind drifts off to the distant cell, where Yukio is sitting inside calmly alone, full of resolve.

[Weird Panda]

If I were Sae, I'll curse yuki. Because.. seriously? she just leave like that?
Fortunately I'm obviously not him, if so, I certainly will be going to supermarket right now, searching for a creepy voodoo
This yuki is really want to pick a fight, huh..

[majimenaachan]

yeah finally an update!
really looking forward to the next chapter of the nana mako miki triangle (^^♪
please update soon, thanks(^^)/

sent from なぁちゃんのハート

[arawche079]

Update please!!!

im reading this on tumblr.... i really like the twist on your story...

[saeyu]

I am sorry for almost not updating for a month! You know, Xmas and New Years are busy times....anyway, I'm back with more updates.

@arawche079: Thanks for dropping a note and sorry to keep you waiting!

@majimenaachan: Yeah! Another Naachan Oshi found! I'm glad you liked the triangle and I enjoyed writing it too, though there's a struggle how to end this 

@Weird Panda: I hope Yuki can redeem herself somewhat this chapter! She's not a bad person, but I agree I'd be mad if I were Sae!

The following chapter below deviates from the tumblr version due to forum rules. This is due to fact that the three musketeers are still not 18. However I think the situation they're in are quite realistic for high school aged kids, so I hope the tumblr version doesn't offend anyone~

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 9 - I can't

It's past midnight when Nana stirred awake and blinked slowly, watching the blank white ceiling that does not belong to her room. The cool bedsheets rub against her skin as she shifted a little to look at the girl who's fast asleep beside her.

Mako looks relaxed and content in her sleep. The angst and frowns from earlier today had left her beautiful face. Nana sat up at the side of the bed and began to rack her brains while everything that happened earlier started flooding back into her mind.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"No..." Nana broke from the kiss and stopped Mako's hand from moving further inside her thighs. "I can't."

"Why?" Mako tried to ignore the protest and kissed Nana's collarbone tenderly.

"I know you don't want to do this...at least not with me...right?" Nana asked sadly.

"That's not true." Mako simply answered and continued.

"Stop it!" The girl below yelled angrily and yanked Mako off the couch, standing up and glaring at her in disbelief.

"Nana..." The yank had jolted Mako awake and she finally realised the gravity of the situation. "I just wanted to...I..." She felt her lips trembling, tasting the tears that had rolled down her cheeks.

"I wanted to be with you." She finished her sentence and slumped back down on the couch. "Please, Naachan," she looked up with pleading eyes. "Stay with me."

This look...this painful, pitiful look...What had left of Nana's anger had long been melted away. She sat down beside her and let Mako lay her head on her shoulders. After a while, Mako seemed to have calmed down and fallen asleep, but just as Nana tried to lay her down on the sofa, she stirred awake and grabbed her arm fiercely.

"I'm not going anywhere." Nana shooed her friend. She led her up and made her clean and change like a mother would to a child, then she put her to bed, but all the while, Mako refused to let go of her hand. Even now, sitting beside the bed, Mako looked worriedly at Nana with droopy eyes, the grip on her hand slowly getting loose due to her drowsiness.

"I will be here for as long as you want me to." Nana finally said.

"Then stay with me." She pulled her into the bed and wrapped her arms around her. "I promise I won't do anything to you.""

The one thing Nana wants most, the thing that she can almost touch, had never felt so far away from her than right now. I love you but I can't have you, Mako.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nana winces with guilt at all the memories from yesterday. She felt she had took advantage of Mako's frustration and she should've just left. But...but...

"Naachan..." She felt some sheets draping over her shoulders as Mako's arms wrapped around her from behind. "When did you wake up? Be careful not to catch a cold like this..."

Nana took her hand without turning around.

"Mako...is it really okay...if we continue like this?"

She feels a light kiss on her cheek.

"Do you know...Nana, that Miki loves you?" Mako finally asks.

Nana can't answer anything and the two of them remained silent in each other's arms for the rest of the night. Nana gazes at the moon outside the window as Mako's question lingers in her mind.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*three months ago, in the library

"Aida-san, thanks for your help!" Miki beamed a bright smile and took the books from his hands, walking back to the desk where Nana and Mako were.

"Naachan! Look, the gods have saved me from the project deadline tomorrow!" Miki waved the books in front of her face happily.

"Oi, Miki-chan..." Mako quickly stopped her in a rare case of seriousness. "Nana is feeling unwell."

The younger girl put down her books and quickly wrapped her cardigan around Nana, who's supporting her head on her elbow.

"Miki-chan, I am having a headache...but it's fine." She looked up and smiled weakly.

"Let me go get some medicine!" Miki was alarmed at Nana's condition and rushed off a few steps but quickly traced back. "But...but what pills work?" At this point, Mako rose from her chair with a helpless smile and signalled the little girl to sit down. "I will go get some painkillers from the infirmary. Miki-chan, be quiet and stay with Naachan."

After Mako took off, Nana completely rested her head on the table with folded arms like she's fallen asleep, while Miki sat back opposite to her and continued to stare at her sick friend worriedly.

"Ano..." Aida Ken's voice interrupted in a whisper. "Nishino-san?" He thought that Nana had fallen asleep and didn't want to wake her up.

Miki stood up and turned towards her saviour. He had been helping her out here and there ever since the difficult class project was assigned. Having wonderful, smart sempais is such a great thing, Miki thought as she looked at him with a bright smile.

"I...I have something I would like to ask of you....seriously." She felt a hint of shyness in the normally confident boy's voice.

"Please, please read my thoughts in this letter, and let me know your answer!" He bowed down and handed her a letter.

Miki instinctively glanced towards Nana, who seemed passed out and unaware of this odd situation. She took the letter reluctantly. The boy rose back from the bow, tightened his lip in a half smile, and walked away politely.

Clutching the letter in her hand, Miki sat back down and whispers, "Naachan...Naachan?" However, the girl did not stir one bit. Looking up and seeing Mako return, she hid the letter into the bag.

The next day when Miki and the recovered Nana were walking towards home after school, Miki tugged Nana's hand from behind.

"Em?" Nana turned back and found a rarely serious-looking Miki.

"You heard it yesterday, didn't you?" Miki asked directly. After all, it's impossible for someone who's suffering from a headache to suddenly fall asleep.

"What are you talking about?" Nana glanced away.

"You really don't lie a lot, do you?" Miki let out a laugh and saw the serious girl blushed in embarrassment.

"I read the letter from Aida-san." Miki continued. "He wants to go out with me."

Nana grimaced and wondered what she should say. Of course, she should be happy for someone to confess to her little Miki, but...but what if Mako knows about it? She was possibly, still in love with Miki, even though the topic hadn't come up between them ever since that failed date...on the other hand, how could she hold Miki's happiness back just to support an empty wish for them to be together one day?

"Naachan!" Miki suddenly wrapped her arms around Nana. "Should I say 'yes'?"

"What do you mean, Miki?" Nana turned her head slightly but she couldn't see her face in their embracing position. "Shouldn't you ask yourself whether you like him or not?"

"I...I just care about what you think, Naachan."

Nana gaped at this question. In all honesty, of course...

"If you ask me, I...I think you should consider thoroughly before you make this decision." Nana didn't want to say 'no' outright, but her selfish side was winning again. She wanted to see Mako smile more than anything else, even if it means she could not have her. However, Miki didn't take this answer lightly and tugged her in even tighter.

"What kind of half ass answer is this? Do you not want me to go out with him? You don't, right?" There's a rush of eagerness in her voice, as if Miki herself was hoping to reject Aida-san. Her urgent questions were met with Nana's silence.

"Why? Can you tell me why you don't want me to say 'yes'?" Miki had correctly interpreted her friend's silent answer, but she's on a completely wrong track on the reason behind this. She pulled away and looked straight into Nana's nervous face.

"Well, it's a decision you should make for yourself...I, I shouldn't have anything to do with something important like this..." Nana tried to wriggle her way out of the probe.

"Nana..." Miki grabbed onto her shoulders and gazed intensely into her eyes. "Don't you see? It has everything to do with you."

Nana's thoughts suddenly cleared as she looked at Miki in a different light for the first time. Standing in front of her was not a dear sister, but someone who looked at her with expectant eyes, the same pair that she recognised from the way that Mako gazed upon the unsuspecting Miki. The same expectant eyes that she herself once trained upon the dazed Mako on the rooftop one sunny autumn afternoon.

"I'm sorry...I just remember I need to do something...and I...I have to run." She heard her trembling voice utter these words as she picked up her feet and began to run away, leaving the dejected Miki standing alone on the pavement.

You said you would always walk me home. You said you would always be by my side. You broke your promise, Nana.

*end of flashback
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is another person who's kept awake midnight, and that is Sae, who's now holding onto a fountain pen with his name engraved on it. He is clenching it in his fist in anger, as he channels his frustrations towards Yuki to the gift she gave him. Which part of their relationship is real? Which part is fake? Has he been her plan all along, or has he actually really stumbled into Yuki's life accidentally?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*flashback to a few month's ago

"Sae-kun," Yuki said sweetly as they cuddled together in a random Saturday afternoon together in Yukio's mansion. "Is it boring to hang out with me like this all the time?"

"Em-hm," Sae shook his head while he looks out of the window, following the speed at which the clouds move in the sky. It is true that they didn't do much together indoors. They definitely did not talk about school, although they would exchange stories from their childhood, discuss about people they both know, like Maeda Atsuko Sensei or Mako, but anything that reminded them of the barrier that's caused by their teacher-student relationship was completely avoided. In this mansion, Sae shed his usual talkative, genking self and donned a much more taciturn character. Yuki wondered if that is the "true" Sae -- someone who decided to take up an energetic, friendly appearance in order to be the sunshine to his loved ones-- but who is actually just a quiet, introspective person in the core.

"What a clumsy sun," Sae muses. "It's not shining reliably at all."

"Why are you saying that?" Yuki snuggled in closer.

"It doesn't warm you up in winter at all..." he chuckled at his silly reasoning and closed his eyes to enjoy the light.

"But that's alright for me," Yuki looked up and kissed his cheek lightly. "Sae don't have to be the brightest sunlight; I love the clumsy sun more..."

"Really?" He asked and smiled with his eyes still closed, not really paying attention.

"Being beside me is all I ask for." Yuki replied. "I also want you to be most relaxed when you're with me."

"It's a bit hard to do that..." Sae suddenly opened his eyes and looks down cheekily. "When you rode on me just now."

Yuki blushed at the mention of their passionate time together, when they could sometimes go quite far with the excitement.

"Baka!" She sat up and hit his head. "You're ruining the mood!"

She climbed off the bed and started rummaging around the desk. The room they were in was actually a previous drawing room of the Oshima Residence. There were just a few handy artefacts in the display cabinets, and also some random stationary inside the desk. She played around and suddenly took a box out eagerly.

"What did you find?" This curious Sae also left the bed.

"A calligraphy set," Yuki's eyes beamed like she's found gold, which were met with Sae's half eye-roll.

"It's fun!" Yuki continued. "I used to go to calligraphy classes when I was a little kid...I wonder if I still remember anything..." With that, the set is properly set up and she started brushing strokes on some scrap paper, totally engrossed with her new toy.

Sae looked on from behind at the impressive handwriting, frankly not recognising some kanji she wrote.

"Hey, write something I understand..." He nudged her with his shoulder, as his hands crossed to his sides.

"Why don't you have a go?" She turned and looked at him with a happy, kiddy smile.

"I...I don't know how to hold a brush, let alone write with one." He scratched the back of his head uneasily.

"O haha, that's absolutely fine." To his surprise, she moved to his back and enclosed her arms around him, holding his hands and guided him to pick up the brush.

"Eh?" Sae didn't have time to react before the first stroke had already been drawn out with his hand. With a few simple brushes, the word for "smile" is written.

"Ah~~this is cool..."Sae commented at the kanji that looked more like a "laugh" in its style. "That's how you thought of me...Heh...heh heh heh.." He started laughing lightly.

"You are the sun that makes everyone happy." Yuki turned him towards her and said. "Even if you are a clumsy sun, I will always be able to feel your smiles and laughs." Her eyes bend into crescent moons as she spoke. "Everyone can smile, but to me, your smile is like this kanji. This is the beauty of calligraphy."

Sae understood what she meant, and unknowingly, he found tears dripping from his eyes.

"This is so beautiful, Yuki..." He said as he felt that, finally, there's someone he could rely on, who grasped him completely, who knew and loved his insecurities. He had been the boy who tried to act like a man for his mother and Mako, who's like his sister. He'd been the strong one, the optimistic one, the one who always goes first without fear. Without himself knowing it, he was getting weary of being genki. Only when he fell in love with Yuki, did he discover this side of himself. Like someone who had stretch his limits for a long spell at work without any sickness, but finally got ill when he could relax during vacation, Sae understood that the quietness or tiredness he felt was a release of what he had locked up deep in himself. And Yuki understood this too. She didn't ask him about anything else and held his hand into hers.

"Here," He said as he lifted the sheet with 'smile' from the desk. "Take it as my gift for you."

"Stingy..." Yuki laughs as she accepted it.

The next week at school, in another random day, a box was placed in his locker, which was what his is holding in his hands now. The card in the box reads:

"It's hard to write with brush and ink all the time, but you seem really into it. It's time for a boy to have a proper pen...first step to manhood (^.^)v"

He smiled and placed the pen, with the characters "sun" engraved on it, inside his jacket pocket, and has been carrying with him always.

Darkness has fallen, he thought, and there's no longer any sunshine, not even the clumsy type, to speak of...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*back in present

In the morning, Sae bade Haruna to stay inside the house for the day while he goes out to get some food, still deciding on whether to go to school today. For sure, Haruna's dad will be trying to get their hands on her, but on the other hand, the police crackdown means that everyone is still watching their own backs, and will not do anything reckless. Either way, it's the safest for her to stay here until they figure out what to do about Yukio...

After walking for a block or so, Sae started feeling like he's being followed. He continued on his way round the corner and waited...

Grabbing the arm of his stalker, he was quickly out manoeuvred and found himself flung off, tripping back a few steps before he sees a women in grey suit and ponytail staring at him sternly.

"Sae..." Yuki began to speak.

"What are you doing here? Go...go back to where you are from. I'm sure the accolades and honours are waiting for you, with your sophisticated plan to infiltrate the yakuza, single-handedly bringing down the Oshima-clan..." Sae continued to praise sarcastically.

"I'm sorry Sae, but...but it's my job. I need to make sure you and Haruna are safe before Kojima is caught. Look, if we get Kojima in, he can prove that he's been manipulating Yukio so he can get less..."

"Yukio...huh?" Sae cut her off abruptly. "He's been so kind to us, and you did this to him...now you're even pretending to help......O wait! Why should you be grateful to him? It's all a lie wasn't it? That's why you lured me to the room that day and that's how he stumbled in onto us..."

"I'm sorry..." Yuki looked down and recall the plan she concocted to get closer to Yukio, but it wasn't all just a lie...

"Shouldn't it be the time when you say, 'It's not like that?', but of course..." Sae looked up and took a deep breath to contain his tears. "It's just like that. 'It's your job.'  Go, I don't want to see you, ever, again."

He turned to leave. The woman he's risked so much to love was just someone who used him cruelly. He can't accept this fact, but he must get used to it... He walked for a few moments and his mind is still kind of bothered...No, don't turn around, he thought to himself, but his waist has already twisted inadvertently back. As expected, Yuki is still following him. She can't hide her expectant look when she sees his face softens.

"This is your job too, following me...isn't it?" Sae sighs. "Fine, do whatever you want, I'll just pretend you don't exist."

Although his voice is harsh, Yuki can tell that he's wavered. Maybe I still have a chance, she thought, her heart feeling hopeful once more. I'm sorry that I have lied so much to you. Everything you knew about me was fake, but my feelings for you is true. Yet how can I say it out loud, when even I myself aren't convinced? I have hurt you so much...I don't deserve to have your love anymore.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just like yesterday, Sae's visitation was denied at the facility, however, the police told him that they are trying to bring in Kojima Shingo (Haruna's father), and told him not to worry too much because Yukio is still a minor. The lawyers also told him the same thing, but warned that it is unlikely he would be absolved from all crimes due to solid evidence that Kashiwagi collected.

Sae dragged himself back home, knowing that Yuki has still been following him and is probably settled down and waiting outside his house now.

"Okaeri..." Sae's mother greeted him, along with Haruna, who is sitting at the table, eating dinner now.

"Saepo!" His mother came and sat down at the table with some hot soup. "Can you believe how surprised I am when I came back from Nagoya with Natsu-obachan [Mako's mum]?" She is asking in this nasal, singing voice that sounds nothing but eerie to him.

"Eh?" Sae broke a sweat thinking whether she knew about Yukio's arrest already.

"You still haven't introduced me to this lovely lady here...neh Haruna-chan?" She looks at Haruna in a wicked smile.

"No...mama! She's Nyannyan...you know, THAT Haruna I told you about?" Sae recalled maybe mentioning Yukio's girlfriend to her once a long time ago...

"Ah...OHH!" Sae's mum tried to hide her disappointment, lamenting secretly that her baka little boy will probably never get a girlfriend. "Haruna-chan? Haha...well, welcome anyway!" Haruna nodded back with a slight, apologetic smile.

"Em...mum, she'll be staying with us a couple of days."

"Sure...but where is Yukio-chan? Why isn't he staying over too?" His mum looks confusedly at him.

"They're em...they're..."

"Sorry Obachan, Yuu-chan and I are kind of, in a fight. I don't want him to find me, so I selfishly asked to stay with Sae-kun."

"Yea....yes! I thought you'd be out of town till next week, so I brought her back."

"O...haha, don't you mind me, but..." She eyes them both suspiciously. "You know what they say, Sae, 'bros don't take other's h..."

"Mum!" Sae shouted to stop her from continuing the 'h' word. "It's not. It's not what you think okay? We're like, best buddies, I treat her the way I treat Makotin...they're not girls to me!" Sae then realised an offended frown from Haruna, and quickly looked away.

"Well well, speaking of Makotin, I better pack my stuff and get Natsu-chan [Mako's mum]. We'll be off again to Osaka this time...for our Uniba date. I'll leave you both here till next week, as you wished."

"Really?" Sae almost spit the soup out of his mouth.

"Yup, apparently, someone's also staying over with Makotin, and Natsu felt like she has to take off too. So we both decided...well why not go to Osaka?" Sae raised an eyebrow at this piece of news, which smells fishy to him. A friend staying overnight is a common thing. Why does obachan feel the need to leave them alone? Sometimes, he doesn't understand what adults think...unless...unless...

"Alright...see you, and nice meeting with you Haruna-chan! Don't let Sae boss you around!" Sae looked back and the front door already closed from behind, leaving the two of them alone again.

"Damn...." Sae looks embarrassingly at Haruna, "Did she say weird stuff to you?"

Haruna shook her head with a smile. "No, obasan was really nice. I just said I'm your friend and she left me alone most of the time, except feeding me and giving me stuff like toothbrush and towels. She's really kind...but I guess...she thought I was your girlfriend..."

"Yappari..." Sae wonders if his baka genes came from his mother's side or papa's side...

Outside their house, heavy rain from a storm cloud started pouring, and Mako made a final dash before reaching Sae's doorstep. She glanced to the side and noticed a familiar figure standing outside in the rain.

"What are you doing here?" Mako asked Yuki crossly.

"Mako-chan, I am here to watch over Sae and Kojima Haruna san." She bows and greets her politely. "Kashiwagi Yuki, from the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department, special investigations unit."

"Chi.." Mako frowns at the Sensei standing in front of her, who lied for almost a year to her students. But something about Yuki's resolved look softens Mako's heart immediately.

"You should leave, it's pouring right now."

Yuki shook her head and declined. "It's okay, Makochan, and sorry for lying to you all."

Mako looks at her one more time before turning the keys of the front door. "You really do love him, don't you?" Without waiting for an answer, she went inside. Yuki reflects on what she just said. She knows that no one will suddenly attack in this kind of weather, but she must be cautious and protect them. In fact, she's not sent by her superiors to do it, but she knows she should take charge. She tries to convince herself that this is part of her duty, but more so than ever, as the heavy drops of rain beat on her, she is driven by the need for self-punishment and longing for redemption.

"Yabai!" Mako closed the door and toss the umbrella inside the bucket . "Lucky that mama warned me about bringing an umbrella, or I'll be soaked."

"Makotin!" Sae greeted and took her jacket off.

"I came to see if you're okay, since all that happened yesterday..." She trails off and saw a girl sitting at the dinner table.

"Oh..She's Nyannyan..." Sae introduced.

"Ah!" Mako breaks into a bright smile. "Nice to meet you, Kojima-san!"

"Makotin, right?" Haruna bows a little bit. "Sae-kun mentions a lot about you, you look so cute in person, as I have imagined."

"Hehheh...thanks..." Mako bowed and shook her head shyly. Wow, Yukio's girlfriend is so beautiful and gorgeous!!! She thought and blushed.

"Well I'm going to take a shower now and leave you guys to catch up." Haruna stood up and walks away. Meanwhile, Mako is still too dumbstruck by her beauty. She couldn't raise from her bow as her heart races and mind wanders off... imagining how Haruna will look in a bikini.

Feeling a slight smack on her head, she looks up and find Sae staring at her suspiciously.

"I heard from mama that Natsu-Obachan decided to go on a trip again because you invited someone to stay over at your place...who is it?"

"Well, more importantly," Mako took a deep breath at this probe and felt a need to divert his question. She looks out of the window and asks, "Do you know that you're being stalked outside by someone who's standing in pouring rain?"

Actually, Sae has been worrying as soon as the rain started. He knows that Yuki is still outside.

"It's people's freedom to do whatever they want, I can't control it." He says nonchalantly  and sits on the couch, turning on the television.

"You...you can at least give her an umbrella..."

"She betrayed me," Sae looks into the screen where a variety show is on air with faint laughters sounding off from the TV. "She put Yukio into all this trouble."

"Yes I know, but, have you ever thought that maybe she really likes you..." Mako couldn't believe she's saying good words for Yuki, but the scene outside just now really struck her and all the anger she had with her is gone. Besides, she knew that Yukio isn't being accused of something he hasn't done. She still had mixed feelings about how she'd used Sae, but once she realised that the love between them might not be fake after all, she kind of forgave her Tennis Club sensei....after all they had spent some good times together at school, and it's a bonus to Mako that she is hot.

"It's all a lie." Sae answers back sadly. "I know that till this second, I still can't control the fact that I love her a lot. She's my first love. But...no matter how I tried to think of it differently, I knew she was just using me. She doesn't love me, and with my best friend in this state, I just can't forgive her. It feels like I'm betraying Yukio every second I think of her...do you understand?"

"Stop being so stubborn, you need to get over this 'guilt' that shouldn't exist in the first place." Mako watches as Sae fidgets with his fingers. "Come on, you knew you want to go out and get her..." She moves towards the couch and grab his arm.

"No!" He glares at her. "Just mind your own business! You're probably in a ton of trouble yourself too, right? Let me guess, your mum caught you doing something inappropriate...is it Miki or Nana?"

Mako gulped and turned her back from him. "Naachan and I...are just friends."

She recalled this quiet morning when she woke up and found that Nana was indeed, right by her side, as she promised. She was already awake and her eyes glowed under the sunlight that's shining in. Not only her eyes, but also her skin and her lips. She couldn't resist but leaned in for a kiss again, but Mako's mum came in right in the middle of their action, and they couldn't even scramble off the bed on time. She was clearly shocked at what she saw, but she wasn't mad. However, she did say she needed some time to think through it. This isn't the worst though...it's more the fact that she thought Nana is really her girlfriend that troubles Mako most. She knew it's time to face the question she's been delaying for a while, now that everything is forced to the surface.

"You know, Mako," Sae stood up and rests a hand on her shoulder. "I think your mum will come to accept it soon, so it's a good thing that she finds out about your orientation...but with Naachan? This is not friends with benefits...you are the one entirely taking advantage of her!"

Mako turns around and faces Sae with teary eyes. "I can't get over Miki, and it drives me mad that she is falling for Naachan. But every time I see Naachan, I want to have her, possess her, do all sorts of things with her...I don't understand what this is about too! "

Sae takes her into his arms and hugs her tightly. "It's complicated, isn't it? Mako, you should try to be more honest with your feelings..." Are you just obsessed with Miki? Do you love her still? Or do you love Nana now?

"I don't know what to do now...If you were me, what would you do?"

Sae stayed silent and continued to stroke her hair. The beating of the raindrops on the window gets louder and louder, but Sae couldn't bring his feet to move to the person that must be soaking wet outside... He's just scared, scared of getting hurt again. Makotin, if you were me, what would you do?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
At around ten, the rain had finally stopped, and the tears on Mako's cheeks were also dried. She waved goodbye to the silent and troubled Sae, left the house, and found Yuki crouched on the side of the doorstep with a cup of ramen in her hands.

"Kashiwagi Sensei, just go home, I think they will be fine..." Mako said.

"It's okay, it's my job..." Yuki answered and said as Mako started walking. "Take care too, Makotin."

Mako shrugged but still turned around and nodded before walking away.

Back in her own house, Mako found Nana sitting silently on the couch, all dressed and packed.

"Makotin..." She looks up as the front door opens. "You are finally back. I'm...well, thanks for having me. I will go home now." After that awkward morning when they're sort of busted by Mako's mum, they both went to school, and didn't talk to each other at all. But somehow, at the end of the day, Mako took her hand and led her back to her house again. Why? Nana thought. Why is she doing this again...and why am I following so willingly? This time, nothing really happened between them and they still didn't say a single word to each other, until Mako announced that she was going to check on Sae and left the house earlier.

Nana picked up her things and walked towards the porch, but Mako came in and hugged her.

"Please don't go." Mako starts kissing her neck, untucking the blouse from Nana's skirt.

"But why?" Nana finally spoke up. She wants to know it, even if it will hurt her even more. She just wants to end it.

Mako pretends she didn't hear. I don't know too. She continues brushing her hands underneath the blouse, circling round Nana's waist. Nana releases a deep breath she's been holding and the bag on her hand dropped onto the floor with a dull thud. She has surrendered again.

[Haruko]

I prefer mako x nana, because mikkty just fall in love with anyone so...

my saeyuki heart is bleeding right now T_T

[arawche079]

thank you for updating...

i‘m hoping that yukio will be free from all charges and reunite with nyannyan....

hay!!!!!!heartache...

[Weird Panda]

I prefer mako x nana, because mikkty just fall in love with anyone so...

Ahahah! Kinda agree with you
But I still want sae x mako scene first before it turn become sae x yuki to the core
Because, same like saeyu-san.. I love sae x everyone too

[George]

so sad~
keep updating Author-san!!