Chapter 11: Kai x Atsuko's Argument
Kai arrived at Ray’s house in just a few minutes. When his eyes saw the smiling Diva at the door, he quickly ran and gave her a hug which made the Diva’s heart beat fast. He’s really worried at that time when he knew about the absences of Ray, he didn’t know what to do if that another blond guy did something again. At this point, he’s still confused about the role of that man in his life, in their life. He doesn’t have any clue why he keeps on appearing to them. Ray invited the midget to go to her room to have some serious talk but Kai seems really worried about her as he keep on asking questions.
“Why do you keep on skipping your classes? Are you sick?” Kai asked worriedly and sat beside Ray on the bed.
“No I’m not. I told you already, I just don’t feel on going to school” Ray avoids Kai’s look on her.
“You’re lying ….”
“No I’m not!”
“Then why you can’t look directly into my eyes?”
“I just don’t want to see your face ……”
The mood of the Diva suddenly changed. Kai felt a heart ache when he heard it from the Diva so he decided to stand up and leave the room. “I .. I see ….. I’m sorry. I’ll leave now” Kai said, but before he could take another step towards the door, Ray grabbed his hand and hugged him from the back. Kai can feel that his shoulder is a bit wet, ‘Is she crying?’
“No Kai, It’s not what I mean ……… Please ……… Don’t leave me” Ray sobs and continued,
“It really hurts when I see you with Maeda. It hurts when I see both of you so happy together. It really makes my heart tore into pieces. Sometimes I just want to be blind so I can’t see what you’re doing. You’re not the Kai before; I prefer the Kai who’s pushing me away when I’m trying to kiss him or flirt with him rather than the Kai who’s ignoring me”. Ray can’t control her tears flowing on her cheeks as she remembered the scenes when she saw Kai and Atsuko. The midget immediately turned back to face the Diva and wiped her tears by his thumb.
“Ray …………………. I’m sorry. I’m being stupid again and didn’t think about your feelings” Kai said but it just made the Diva to cry even more.
“Ray, please …… Stop crying. I don’t want to see you crying”
“Kai ……….. I love you ….” The Diva gave him a sudden kiss then hugged him. He didn’t even try to resist on it as he felt guilty that he made Ray cry. They stayed in that position until the tears of the Diva fade away. Ray broke the hug and looked directly to Kai’s eyes with a serious expression.
“Kai ….. I have to show you something; something important. I think you have the rights to know about this”
“Huh? What are you talking about? Know? Important? Rights? I can’t understand you …”
Ray ignored Kai and went to her drawer and took out a tape recorder and an envelope. The midget is still confuse and didn’t have an idea on what he will do to a tape recorder.
“Here. Take this and listen to it ……”
Kai take the tape recorder and felt intrigue about it. He slowly pressed the play button and it made him to feel nervous and scared but he didn’t know why. At first, he can only hear a woman who’s talking but he cannot recognize the voice. The midget is still listening carefully, and then suddenly the woman who’s talking screamed with an angry tone and by hearing that, Kai widened his eyes as he can fully recognize who’s the owner of the voice.
“No! I’m sick of all those promises! I’ve given you so many chances to change but you’re always wasting it!!”
“Stop it Tego!”
“Please! Stop this Tego! You’ve done too much and I’m sick of it!!”‘Atsuko ………… I can’t understand what’s happening. Are you hiding something from me? And …………. Who is this Tego? Why do you sound really angry? Why are you crying? Did that Tego do something to you?’ Kai’s thoughts are now occupying his mind. He felt even more confused and didn’t know the purpose of this. Then suddenly the voice in the tape recorder talked again and this time, it made him shocked and he felt his heart beating fast.
“You’re wrong, I don’t love you and I never loved you! I thought that I love you before because of the good things that you’ve done to me, but I’m wrong! I misunderstood my feelings! I let myself to be fooled by your sweet words! You know, I’m thankful for those things that you’ve done to me, because of that, you made me realized who I really love! I’m such a fool to let go Kai and choose you. All those time, he’s always there to care and support me, but what I’ve done to him? I leave him because of you bastard! Now, I’m having a hard time on winning him back! It’s because of you! I regret that I met you Tego!!”Upon hearing that from Atsuko, Kai’s tear fell down to his cheeks and thought, ‘Love? Leave? Tego? Damn it Atsuko. All those time, I’m suffering because you left me and yet you just go with this Tego guy?! You’re right you’re really a fool. Why did you do that to me?!’ Kai hold the tape recorder tightly like he’s going to crash it.
“Ray …. Tell me that this is just a joke. Tell me that this is not true. Tell me that this voice is not Atsuko!!” Kai half-shouted at Ray but she didn’t mind as she opened the envelope and gave the pictures to the midget. Kai let out his tears again when he saw the pictures of Atsuko and Tego kissing, cuddling and going to a house that looks like THEIR own house. He felt betrayed even though they’re really not a couple at that time. He can feel anger and depression at the same time, he kneel down to the ground when he felt his weaken-knees. Kai can’t control his tears and anger so he punched the floor continuously until his fist covered with blood.
“Stop it Kai! Your hand is bleeding!” Ray holds Kai’s hand to prevent him on punching again the floor.
“I’m such a fool Ray!! I shouldn’t believe her before!! She betrayed me!! It really hurts!! Why does she need to tell a lie to me?! She told me that she don’t know about the another blond man! But the truth is she do really know him! Not only know, but he’s her lover before! The man that she chose to be with rather than me!! Now I know why that Tego kidnapped her!!”
Ray can feel her heart hurt a bit when she heard those words from Kai. The midget seems really in love with Atsuko before. The Diva doesn’t know what to feel, she wants to be happy to see that Kai is really mad at Atsuko now but she feel sorry because she’s the reason why the midget is depress and crying right now. Suddenly, Ray was shocked when Kai removed his hand, stood up and looked at her angrily.
“Why do you have this kind of materials?! How come that you had a recorded voice of Atsuko and pictures?! Huh?!”
“A-anou Kai ,,,,, Actually I hired a secret investigator”.
“So you already know about her before she came here?! Why did you hire an investigator?! She’s not involved in your life! Why did you do that?!”
“Because she’s part of your life!!”
“You’re right! MY LIFE and not yours!”
“But YOU’RE my life so I need to do something for it!!” Kai stopped for awhile and stare at the Diva but after a couple of seconds, he immediately ran and left her. Ray just let the midget to go away. She knows that he need some time to think and rest.
It’s been two weeks now since that revelation incident happened. The charismatic Diva and all of the members of the band especially Atsuko are worried about Kai. They knew from the teachers that he’s skipping classes or sometimes, he’s just sleeping during class hours. The midget is also not attending their band practices; he didn’t even come to the room to check Atsuko and it made their friends to feel uneasy about the situation and the worst situation is, He’s not sleeping in their dorm. They don’t have any idea what happened to them so they decided to ask Atsuko about it.
“Acchan, do you know where Kai is?” Riku said.
“Actually, No. I’m really worried about that midget” Atsuko looked down.
“Did something bad happen between you and him?” Kuu added.
“None. I can’t remember that we had an argument or anything. It started when Kai leave me to ………….. Find the Diva”
‘Oh my …… Maybe Ray finally revealed Acchan’s secret to Kai ……… This is bad’ Mayu thought.
“I think you should find him. I know he’s just inside the campus. Maybe he’s hiding from us” Mariko suggested that made the Ace to think and stand up quickly.
“You’re right. Thanks Mariko. I think I know where he is. I’m leaving now” Atsuko said with a determined tone.
While walking, Atsuko thought, ‘Once I find him, I’m going to tell everything to him: The reason why I leaved before, that I know the man who kidnapped me and the past relationship that I had with that guy. I’m ready and prepared now whatever will happen or whatever he will say to me. At least I’ve said it and he doesn’t need to know it from the others’. She is now tracing the path towards the school gym. If her instinct is right, Kai is probably in their secret meeting place.
When Atsuko opened the door, she smiled; she’s right, Kai is here lying on the couch and having a nap. She walked slowly towards the couch so that she can’t make any noise. She looked closely to Kai and noticed that the midget had a little tear on his eyes. She decided to wipe it but the midget suddenly talked that made her to stop.
“What are you doing here?!” Kai said in an angry tone while his eyes are still close.
“Why? Am I not allowed to go here? Remember, this is also my place”
“I don’t want to see you!”
“But I want to see you Kai ………. What’s happening to you? Why are you being like this?”
The midget didn’t answer so she continued, “I have something important to say, please listen to me Kai ……”
“Wait, I have something to give you first ….. here it is ..” Kai opened his eyes and stood up from lying then …………
*PLAK!!*
Kai gave a sudden slap on Atsuko’s cheeks. His anger rose up again when she heard the woman’s voice and his tears started to flow again. Atsuko can still feel the sting of the slap on her cheeks so she quickly hold it. She’s confuse why Kai did that to her.
“How long will you keep on lying to me?! Huh?!” Kai shouted.
“Huh? What are you talking about?” Atsuko thought that Kai might already know about her secret but she still need to be sure.
“Don’t pretend that you don’t know what I mean!! You really know about the guy who kidnapped you before right?!!”
“K-k-kai …………” Her eyes widened in shock. It’s confirm, the midget knows about her secret but ….. Where did he know about it?
“Why Atsuko?!! Why do you need to lie to me?!! You know, I will understand if you love him! You don’t need to hide it!!”
“I’m sorry Kai …….. I only did that because … I’m afraid that you’ll hate me if you knew about our relationship” Atsuko looked down and cried.
“I’ll hate you more now for lying!! Leaving because of family businesses huh?! I’m such a fool to believe it!”
“Kai ….. I’m sorry”
“I don’t need your sorry!! I already got hurt!! Damn it Atsuko!! You left me because of that guy plus you LIVE in the same house!! It really hurts!!” Kai’s tears flow again on his cheeks.
“I’m sorry … I’m sorry … I’m sorry …… I’m wrong! I’m totally wrong that I leave you before because of him and I regret it! That’s why I came back here for you!”
“For me Huh?! Did you came back to fool me again?!”
“No! I came back because I realized that the person that I really love is not him!! It’s you!! I love you Kai!!”
“After those lies, do you expect me to believe that you love me?! If that’s true, then you should have realized it before!! Before leaving me alone!!”
“I’m really sorry Kai …… It’s just …… your feelings, I really don’t know what you feel about me. It made me even more confused, sometimes I feel that you love me and sometimes I feel that you don’t. It’s not helping me to realize what I really feel for you!”
Kai can’t control himself anymore. He dragged Atsuko to the couch and cornered her with his arms. Then suddenly, he kissed the woman not in a passionate way but in an angry way. Atsuko responded to the wild kiss that the midget gave to her. Kai broke the kiss and said,
“Baka Atsuko!! Don’t you know that I really loved you at that time?!! I’m totally in love with you!! What makes you think that I don’t?! I always feel happy when you’re around! I love you Atsuko!! But now ………. I don’t know …….. After what you did to me, I don’t think I can trust you anymore.”
“Kai …. I love you …. Again, I’m sorry for what I did to you. It’s too late when I realized that I’m not happy with him and I really don’t love him”
“I said that I don’t need your sorry!!” Kai’s anger rose up again. “Don’t you know that I’m suffering when you leave?! Don’t you know that every second, every minute and every single day, I missed you?! And yet, you’re there with him, in your own house, living together and doing some ………..” Kai didn’t have a chance to continue his words when he was interrupted by a slap from Atsuko.
“You don’t have the rights to have speculations like that!! You don’t know what I experienced when I’m with him! You don’t know the things that he did to me! And if you think that we did nasty things, you’re wrong Kai!! Totally wrong!! I NEVER let him to do it even though he’s forcing me! I feel like he’s not the right person to take away my virginity!! I’m not forcing you to believe this but ……….. I think you now know who is the right person that I choose”.
Kai just stared at Atsuko’s eyes. After a few seconds, Kai let go Atsuko and turned back to leave. Before he can fully step out in the room, he said “Just forget everything what we did on that night. I don’t want to remember it again. And please, if ever you see me by chance, try to ignore me”. The midget left the woman whose tears flow again on what she had heard. ‘It’s not easy to forget everything Kai, but for you, I’ll try to do it even if it really hurts me. If that’s what you want, I’ll give it to you. I don’t want you to feel bad again because of me. I love you Kai’.
TBC …..
Don't kill me because of the last part
reserve it for the next chapter