This is a bit unusual, but I'm going to post chapter 20 in two parts.
First, because I really wanted to post something in time for Christmas (I guess I failed with this one...), and second because it ended up being way longer than I planned. Anyway, here's my late present! I'll post the second part before the end of the year. Promise.
Chapter 20 part1
Rena was a lonely and introvert girl. She never talked much, and always tried to stay away from over-enthusiastic girls and childish activities. To some, she seemed a bit cold. To others, a girl in her own little world. Somehow, she always believed it was that particular distance that helped her see things others didn't. When a fellow member was going through a rough time, she was here to listen. When a new girl was struggling to fit in, she tried to help with encouraging words. Sometimes, she cursed her shy behavior for preventing her to do more. However, one thing was sure: she never stopped caring for her fellow members, even if she didn't always show it openly like others.
Really few people were close enough to Rena to pretend to know the real her. There was Airi, the only member she shared everything with, and her best friend in the world. And there was Jurina. The seventeen year old girl who shared the same surname.
Six years. She had spent six years alongside the young member. She had seen her growing in front of her eyes, from the cheerful and cute little kid, to the energetic and confident teenager. After all that time, she took pride in thinking she knew her by heart, that nothing she would do or say could surprise her anymore. This incident during the shooting of
Majisuka Gakuen 4 had proved her wrong.
For the first time, Rena discovered she didn't know the girl as much as she thought. Jurina had changed. She was trying to distance herself from her, something she had never done before. Why? The more she saw the girl acting this way, the more she tried to fight against it. It's as if this new unusual behavior had triggered something within the older Matsui. She just knew she couldn't let that happen, despite the reason remaining unclear at the time.
And then, there was Akane. Rena had witnessed in front of her eyes how these two people - who didn't speak much before - had grown closer day by day, until their relationship blossomed into something really strong. Jurina wasn't acting like her usual self with her. It was common knowledge she loved to fool around with other members, especially the younger ones as Ryoha, but there was something different with Akane. There was a deep affectionate bond between them that had unexpectedly provoked that knot in Rena's stomach on Airi's birthday, when she saw Jurina and Akane kissing. An uneasy and unknown feeling that resurfaced each time she saw them together and just refused to leave her, despite how much she tried to fight against it.
Now, after hearing Jurina's words, everything suddenly made sense. In the blink of an eye, she could understand both Jurina's behavior and her own. She felt frustrated, annoyed and stupid. She always believed to be very observant but it obviously wasn't true, as she had missed out everything. What happened to her? Why didn't she see what was going on right under her nose? How could she be so blind?
A small smile had finally grazed her lips as she finally had the answer to her questions. She felt relieved and for a second happy, until last night's conversation emerged in her head and realization hit her.
I'm trying to move on! Jurina had exclaimed. Rena didn't understand what she meant by that at the time, but now it was crystal clear. Jurina was so convinced she saw her as a little sister that she was burying her true feelings and letting her go.
"What am I going to do?" Rena whispers, staring wide-eyed at the dressing room's door in front of her. Despair suddenly takes hold of her as she's afraid she may have been a bit too late in realizing the truth. Is it already over? Has she lost her for good? She is trying to stay hopeful, but Jurina's recent behavior is not helping. On the contrary, it is telling her something she doesn't like one bit: her blindness may have cost her everything.
A noise suddenly catches Rena's attention and she tilts her head to her left, watching as a fast-approaching Sae makes her way in the quiet hallway. Wiping off her silent tears, Rena pushes herself from the wall and tries to compose herself, despite her heart still aching at the idea of what she may have lost.
The twenty four year old girl is at the dressing room in no time and she halts, catching her breath a bit, before turning her attention to Rena who's standing next to the door.
"Hi Rena. We're really unfortunate today. The concert will start in twenty minutes, and it's bucketing down."
"Really?" Rena exclaims. She had noticed small droplets of water when she left the stage a few minutes ago, but she truly believed it wouldn't escalate more than that.
"Yes. Let's hope it won't last," the tomboy mutters, ruffling her hair in frustration.
"You seem bothered by something else," Rena states, somehow guessing by the older girl's body language that there's more to it.
"I can't manage to find my phone. I was sure it was in my bag, but..." Sae's voice trails off, before a familiar face flashes in her mind and a small smile grazes her lips, "if Yuko was still here, I would believe she was playing a prank on me."
"You miss her," Rena affirms, noticing how Sae's voice suddenly softened at the mention of the girl.
"I do. Sometimes, I wonder what I'm still doing here," Sae sighs, leaning against the wall and averting her eyes. It's already been eight months since her friend's graduation, but she still feels a void in her heart due to the girl's absence. "There are people who shine so brightly, you just can't take your eyes off them. I believe Yuko was one of them. She was the light of AKB, and a bit mine as well."
"I understand," Rena nods, a faint smile moving to her lips, "more than you think."
Sae tilts her head to gaze at Rena, surprised by the enigmatic words. She's about to question her when she suddenly remembers why she came here, and she swiftly moves away from the wall.
"Anyway, I wanted to check if I didn't leave it in the dressing room," she says, motioning to the closed door and ready to grab the handle, before curiously turning to Rena, "you're not coming?"
"In... a minute."
Sae notices the hesitation in the girl's voice but chooses not to insist, instead shooting her a small smile and eagerly entering the dressing room. Rena exhales deeply as she ponders following the girl's steps, until she catches from the corner of her eyes a new wave of members approaching at the end of the hallway. A few seconds later Sae is already out and gone, and Rena stares pensively at the door, until she jumps when she hears a familiar voice calling her.
"Rena! Ready for
River?"
Rena turns around to gaze at a smiling Yuki and she nods, following the group of members who's entering the dressing room to get prepared for the first song of the evening.
Mayu Watanabe moves forward and expectantly waits for the staff member's signal, before approaching her lips to the mic.
"Mayu Watanabe speaking. Thank you for coming to the AKB48 Tokyo Dome 2015 concert. The concert will start in a few minutes. I hope you'll have a great evening. Let's do our best despite the unfortunate bad weather!"
The young girl takes a step back when she's done with the announcement, her lips twitching in annoyance as she hears the rain pouring hard in the stadium, the audience's cheers barely covering up the sound.
"Mayu, why did you say that. It's just rain, how bad can it be?" Yuki says, rolling her eyes at the girl's unexpected last words.
"I hate rain. It always messes my bangs," Mayu retorts.
"I admire your optimism, Yuki, but last time it rained, I almost tripped on stage," Jurina chimes in, remembering all too well the recent
Kiss Datte Hidarikiki incident. She surely doesn't want such a thing to happen again, especially not on
that song.
"You girls are so alike. No wonder why you're best friends," Yuki murmurs, shaking her head in disbelief at the girls' negativity.
"It's a shame it was too late to cancel the whole thing," Mayu sighs.
A staff member suddenly warns them the concert is about to begin and the girls move forward, the stage soon coming into view. Jurina takes a peek behind her at the members who are waiting in line, her eyes soon falling on Rena who's busy adjusting her in-ears. As if she could feel someone staring at her Rena suddenly looks up and briefly meets Jurina's eyes, before the younger girl diverts her attention to the stage again. A small sigh escapes Jurina's lips as she tries to focus on the concert, worry washing her as she watches the rain pouring hard outside.
"Don't worry, I'm sure everything will be fine," a smiling Yuki tries to comfort her as if she could read her mind and Jurina returns the gesture, despite the uneasiness filling her chest.
The audience suddenly gets quiet as the short video presentation gets projected on the main screen. Jurina can feel the tension building up inside her as she hears the seconds ticking in her head. In two minutes the video will be over, and the music of
River will resonate in the stadium.
Twenty minutes. She never had so much time to change into a new outfit. Mayu takes the pink dress from the coat-hanger and starts to get ready for
Temo demo no Namida, stealing glances now and then at Jurina who's putting on her costume by her side. Mayu may be the most popular member in AKB and get pretty much everything she wants, that dark blue suit is still out of reach for her tonight. Unfortunately, she often wears very childish clothes when she performs a solo or duets on stage, and she sometimes wishes the wardrobe department would stop seeing her as the perfect little girl. Why can't she wear more masculine clothes like Jurina? That's not something she's really proud of, but right now, she's really envying her best friend.
"Why are you the one playing the role of the boy?" Mayu mutters, finally voicing out loud her annoyance.
"Maybe because I look good in a suit?" Jurina suggests, an amused smile grazing her lips as she buttons her shirt, checking herself in the mirror.
"Right. And all those danso I've done count for nothing," Mayu groans, crossing her arms over her chest in disagreement.
"Don't be jealous, I'm sure your time will come," Jurina chuckles, now tilting her head to observe her, "And you're so cute with bunches."
"Sometimes, I think you're worse than Yuki. Your obsession with my bunches is becoming a bit disturbing," Mayu comments, before taking a step back when Jurina tries to grasp one of them.
Both girls' attention gets distracted when the dressing room's door suddenly opens and members enter, Yuki and Rena among them. As Yuki spots the two friends she swiftly approaches, her eyes roaming over the now fully dressed Mayu.
"Mayu," she murmurs, her fingers grazing her pink dress in appreciation, before caressing her bunches and kissing her nose, "you're beautiful."
Mayu momentarily stays speechless as she watches the older girl, not expecting the display of affection and kind words. It's not unusual to see Yuki being affectionate towards her in front of other members, but as they have an agreement to keep a low profile in public, it never exceeds the simple hug or kiss on the cheek. This is clearly more intimate.
"Thank you," Mayu says after a while, before noticing that Jurina is grinning at her, and she clears her throat, her attention back on Yuki, "Coming to get dressed?"
"Well, yes," Yuki answers, taking a step back and turning to Rena who's been standing behind her and watching them the whole time, "Our duet is just after yours."
After that, Yuki and Rena go and get changed a bit further away, while Jurina finishes buttoning her shirt, stealing glances now and then at the two girls who are engrossed in a conversation.
"Stop looking at her and focus on what you're doing."
"I'm not..." Jurina starts, before noticing Mayu's smirk, and rolling her eyes at the girl's behavior, "I don't even know why I bother to reply."
"Me neither. Especially when you know I'm right," Mayu retorts, "Anyway, what's happening between you two? You've been avoiding her all day. I thought you guys were doing great."
"Are we really going to have that conversation now?" Jurina stresses, not believing Mayu is bringing up such a subject, "and why do you think that anyway?"
"You seemed close during New Year's Eve. I saw you two sleeping together," Mayu murmurs, a mischievous smile on her lips.
"You saw that?" Jurina exclaims in surprise, before sighing, "Things have changed since. Trust me, that's never going to happen again."
Mayu watches her friend carefully, expecting her to elaborate, and releases a sigh when it doesn't happen.
"Your knot is crooked," she comments, raising an eyebrow at Jurina's awful work.
"Really?" Jurina exclaims, clumsily fumbling with the knot, and exhaling deeply in frustration when she messes it up a second time.
"Stop the carnage," Mayu says, rolling her eyes at her best friend's omnipotence, "I'll do it."
Mayu swiftly undoes the tie and starts to carefully do it again, before halting midway. Jurina lowers her eyes and immediately frowns at her action.
"What is it?"
"I can't do it," Mayu answers, turning to Rena who's busy zipping Yuki's dress, "Rena? Can you please help Jurina when you're done? I can't manage to tie her knot properly."
Rena looks up at Mayu's request in surprise, immediately noticing how Jurina is averting her gaze nervously, while Mayu embodies calm itself.
"Of course."
A smile grazes Mayu's lips as she turns around to look at Jurina, trying hard not to laugh at the scolding look she's receiving.
"Mayu," Jurina hisses, getting close to the girl to make sure Rena can't catch what she says, "What are you doing? You promised you wouldn't meddle anymore."
"Did I?" the shorter girl answers, widening her eyes in surprise, "I don't remember."
Mayu can almost feel Jurina shooting daggers at her as she turns around and moves to the door, her mouth tugging into a smirk as she grabs the handle and makes her way out.
Jurina stays still for a few seconds as she stares speechless at the closed door, not believing her best friend pulled such a stunt. Again. Her fingers get back in action as she desperately tries to make the knot, but her agitation coupled with her inability to make a proper one only make things worse. A defeated sigh leaves her lips as she stares at herself in the mirror and at her horrible work. At the sound of a soft chuckle she tilts her head, watching as Rena approaches her fingers to the object of Jurina's nightmare.
"You've reached a new level here, Jurina," Rena murmurs, her digits carefully undoing the tie, while trying hard not to laugh more than she already is.
Rena's expert hands do their magic while Jurina releases a small sigh, half in annoyance at her own omnipotence, and half in relief at the welcomed help. Jurina sees an hairbrush that's laying on a table and she decides to stare at it, not willing to let her gaze fall on the older girl in front of her. As time goes by, Jurina can't help but notice that Rena is really taking her time. Usually, it would be over in five seconds, but almost thirty seconds have passed and she still hasn't finished. Slightly looking down, she watches the hands that are moving slower than usual, confirming what she's been thinking.
A bit surprised by the girl's behavior she diverts her attention from her moving hands to look at her. Her current nervousness contrasts with Rena's focused and calm expression. As her eyes fall on her lips she notices how Rena's previous amused smile has transformed into something else, almost as if she's enjoying performing such a simple act as tying a knot. Rena's hands suddenly stop from moving and she diverts her attention from the tie to look at Jurina's costume, her left hand lightly caressing her left shoulder before taking a step back.
"There. You're perfect."
Jurina comes out of her musing and she tilts her head to the mirror to check her tie, admiring Rena's impeccable work. As she turns around to thank Rena her shy smile unsettles her, and words stay stuck in her mouth when the older girl turns on her heels.
Yuki watches as the two friends perform
Temo demo no namida on stage under a still heavy rain. She knows her girlfriend must be screaming internally as the rain messes up her hair that she took so long to brush and prepare for today's concert. The shorter girl has always been a bit obsessed with her hair, especially her precious bangs, but isn't the case of most of the girls in the group anyway? To idols, appearances are everything. Some take great pride in having a perfect makeup, others work hard on their hairstyle. Yuki would lie if she said these things weren't important to her, but she didn't believe to be as obsessed with it as some of the members were. She never understood those who stayed hours in front of the mirror when their perfect hair would be disheveled during the performance anyway.
Diverting her attention to Jurina, she can't help but be impressed by how good-looking she is in that dark blue suit. Ever since she was a kid, she always had a boyish side, and this costume truly brings out that aspect. The whole idea behind this duet was to make the audience believe they were seeing a couple on stage, and Yuki has to admit the illusion is perfect. With Jurina's blue masculine costume and Mayu's pink feminine dress, they really complete each other.
Lost in her musing, she almost forgot she was not alone, and she tilts her head to Rena who's watching the performance by her side. Yuki's eyes widen as she observes a sudden sparkle in her friend's eyes. The older Matsui is glued on the performance and something tells Yuki it's not Mayu she's truly watching. Mayu's words uttered during New Year's Eve suddenly resurface and she can't help but disagree. Rena may indeed be hard to read most of the time, her affection for the young SKE member is anything by subtle. She knows she shouldn't be prying, especially when she reprimanded Mayu for trying to meddle in Jurina's affairs, but as she watches Rena's intense expression, she can't help the words from leaving her lips.
"Jurina is really handsome in this dark blue suit, isn't she?"
Rena, momentarily taken aback by Yuki's comment tilts her head to look at her, before nodding.
"She is."
Silence engulfs the two friends as they silently follow the performance, until Yuki turns around to Rena again.
"What is she to you?"
"Who?"
"Jurina. I know you two are close but, I always wondered... how do you see her? As a little sister? As a friend?"
Rena's whole body stills and her smile falters at Yuki's unexpected and bold question. It's true that Yuki and her have become closer since Christmas, but her relationship with Jurina has never been mentioned once during their conversations. She can feel Yuki staring at her and expectantly waiting for a reply but she chooses to remain quiet for a while, truly thinking about Yuki's words. A few months ago, her response would have been evident, now it was clear she couldn't say the same thing. So much had happened in a few months but above all, she had changed. She didn't look at Jurina the way she used to.
"No. She's much more than that."
A sigh of relief escapes Yuki's lips at Rena's reply. Now she doesn't feel so guilty for prying as she realizes her intuition has been right.
"Well, make sure you tell her, okay? We often take people for granted and forget to tell them how much they really mean to us."
Rena turns to look at Yuki, a small smile grazing her lips at her friend's advice.
"I will."
TO BE CONTINUED
Topic: Heartbeat (20/20) + Partners (23/23) + Destiny (41/41 END) [WMatsui] - REPLIES (Read 365209 times)