So ok
http://youtube.com/watch?v=cAeRV_Khv-8 thats where the video is...
uhmm probably watch it before reading this chapter I guess
oh and you should probably read the description of the video
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Chapter Nineteen: Ishikawa Rika
I glanced over at the digital clock on the kitchen counter. It was already past midnight.
Sighing I turned back to the TV. There was some late night music program on, but I’m not really paying attention to it. Hell I don’t even know the name of the show.
I glanced back at the clock, where was she?
I know, I know. I’m not her mom and she’s a grown woman. But…when we decided she would move in here I didn’t think I would be spending my nights alone while she was out with Miki.
I scoffed slightly at the thought. I never liked that girl. She was too touchy, too harsh, and just plain too bitchy.
Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, I didn’t really know her really now that I thought about it. I just know what I observe of her…but we’ve only really talked one or two times. Besides, Yossui likes her a lot and she usually has pretty good taste in a good or bad person.
But I always see her and my Hitomi being…intimate. I’ve always heard she does that to everyone, and maybe she does, but it just seems so much more deliberate or something with Yossui. Plus she plays along with it!
I sat for I don’t know how long staring at that glowing stupid box letting myself just get more and more frustrated at the thought of Miki and Yossui. I guess I’m just getting afraid because of…
I jumped slightly as I heard the front door creak open and then was immediately blinded when the lights were turned on. I blinked a couple of times adjusting to the brightness, but I didn’t turn to see who it was. I already knew, I mean who else could it be?
“Rika?” Yep, I know that voice. “What are you still doing up? I thought you would be in bed by now?”
She asks me this every time she comes home late like this. I’m always awake. “I couldn’t sleep,” I reply as I’ve done many other times. Finally I turned around and looked over the back of the couch at her.
Yossui bent down and set her shoes by the front door, flinging her bag down with them. As she stood up she said with slight concern, “You know it’s getting more and more frequent that you can’t sleep. Maybe you should see a doctor or something?”
You’re right, it’s also getting more and more frequent that you’re out until one in the morning or later. I wonder if you can spot the pattern. Okay, I admit I’m angry. I let myself sit here and get frustrated, but we’ve had this conversation one too many times.
Because of her…
I didn’t respond as I turned back around to sit properly on the couch. I felt the cushions sink a little as she sat down next to me, also draping her arm across the back of the couch in a very relaxed position.
I looked away sulking slightly, as you watched TV next to me. I know I shouldn’t, but I want you to know I’m upset. Come on Hitomi, ask me if I’m alright like you used to.
I remember when I couldn’t even be slightly annoyed at something and you would use all your energy to fix whatever had happened. Lately, though I can’t even get you to really care. You tell me you love me and you’ll still hold me gently, but you don’t seem to really care as much as you used to. It’s like you’re minds somewhere else.
No…its like your heart is somewhere else.
And then I always see you running off with that Fujimoto girl. I wrinkled up my nose, theres that girl in the picture again. You spend more time with her than with me. I can’t remember the last time we went out together, just the two of us. I think the last time we went out it was with Aya and Miki and all you did was pay attention to her.
Then how she touches you. She touches you Hitomi and you just embrace it. The other day you even…I saw you two. You’re always together and you’re always…acting like a couple.
I could feel the tears starting to gather, but my anger was holding them back. Why should I be angry? You say you love me…isn’t that enough. Stop it Rika, you’re just upset because of…
“It’s because I’m graduating isn’t it?” I asked as a lone tear traveled down my cheek.
“Huh?” She asked perplexed as she finally looked over at me from the TV. She didn’t even seem worried.
I crossed my arms in front of my chest and stared at my lap. “That’s why you’re staying out so late and avoiding me, isn’t it?”
I could feel Hitomis stare and I could even see the confused look she gets all the time that is just so cute. But I can’t look at her, not right now. I’m too angry. I don’t want to yell at her. I don’t want to make her tell me the truth.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” sheu finally said like this whole conversation was no big deal. I looked up at her; Yossuis attention was back on the television.
Alright, Rika is angry. I grabbed the remote that was sitting next to me on the couch and turned off the TV. She looked startled over at me.
“What the?”
I stared at her trying to look angry; although I’m sure it turned out to be more of a pleading look than angry one. “You have to know what I’m talking about.”
I still got no real reaction, just the same confused stare.
“Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed?” If you haven’t its worse than I thought. “You’re spending all your time with Miki. I think you’ve come home at a decent hour maybe twice this week.” I searched her eyes for answers. The expression on her face now seemed so empty; not confused, not upset, not even bored.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she repeated.
I couldn’t help myself, it just kind of came out on its own accord. “Just admit you have feelings for Miki already! If you do I won’t care. Just tell me it’s a crush that will go away!” Crap, I don’t want you to answer that. But if you lie you’ll hurt me and if you tell me the truth I think I’ll hurt more.
She looked shocked for a moment, and then that turned into almost a look of guilt. Oh no, oh please just no. Finally she just shook her head and said almost annoyed, “I don’t have feelings for Miki.” Don’t lie to me. “You’re paranoid.”
Paranoid? “Okay, yea I admit it I’m jealous. But paranoid is a little over board.” Yossui shifted slightly in her seat as if she was uncomfortable. I guess she didn’t really mean to say that just like I hadn’t meant to ask for it.
After a short while I watched her get up and start rummaging in the kitchen. I could feel myself calming down. If she loves me as much as I love her she will respect this request.
“Hitomi-chan?” I asked very softly. Immediately she stopped looking through the cupboards, but didn’t look over at me.
“Yea?”
“Can you…please for me. Just be home more.” I looked away, I need to finish this thought before I start crying completely. “Maybe even spend some less time with Miki and more with me. I know she’s your friend so I’m not going to ask you to stop hanging out with her. But if you could just please come home sooner and spend some more time with me. We’re already going to be seeing a lot less of each other because of my graduation so I just-“
“You want me to stop going out with Miki?” She cut me off. Is that all you heard from that Hitomi?
“Not stop,” I paused. “Just see her less.”
I looked up, she was now facing me but looking away at the floor deep in though as if she was making a big decision. “I don’t think I can do that Rika.”
I was shocked, I asked nicely didn’t I? I was diplomatic wasn’t I? I mean, I didn’t ask her to stay away from Miki completely…just be home more. Why can’t you do that Yoshizawa?
“Why?” Again something I didn’t want her to reply to.
And again there was a pause as she had to think about her answer. “Because I just…” She stopped seeming to reconsider. “She’s my best friend Rika. I really love spending time with her.” She went back to the cupboards but then after finding nothing, even though we couldn’t have more food if we had tried, she sighed and leaned against the kitchen counter facing away from me.
“I don’t believe you,” I said quietly.
“What?” She asked looking over at me.
I sighed, “Nothing.” And then I went into our bedroom and laid down. Maybe I am being paranoid?
After another minute I heard Yossui enter the room and open the closet. Opening my eyes I saw her pulling out a couple of blankets and then she walked over to the bed and grabbed her pillow. “Where are you going?” I asked not getting up.
“I’m going to sleep out in the living room tonight…I uhh…I want to watch TV. Theres a late show I want to catch.” I closed my eyes and didn’t ask anymore even though I knew she was lying to me. Soon I heard the door close and then there I was alone in our bedroom.
I got up and threw on some pajamas before crawling under the covers. I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight.
What do you want Yoshizawa Hitomi?...I don’t think I ever heard the TV turn back on.
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Have I mentioned I really like sad and cheesy things?
Topic: Settling (chapter 38-FIN) (Read 59212 times)