Replies: @48matama: Glad you enjoy the previous update! Yukirin kissing! Haha, making Mayu falling for her~ and don’t worry about your english xD It’s a normal thing, I don’t have such a good english either.
@River1721: Oh yes, very sad and dramatic past for Mayu, and then she got a kiss on the cheek! Glad you enjoy the update and hope you’ll enjoy this one too
@Tupi: Yes it must be sad!!!! LOL! I’ll see~ It’s MaYuki in the end after all, I guess I’ll give Mayu her kirin
@Kirozoro: LOL! Some family story from Mayu, and whether both Yuki and Jurina knew about it or not will be revealed in this next update~
@kazutoryu: A very hard life indeed~ Let’s see what will Yuki do from now on and will she realize her feelings any time soon? Will be so much more interesting when she knew about Mayu’s origin
@gek geki: Here’s your chapter 10! maybe Yuki loves her! who knows~ Hahaha~ MaYuki will be very interesting from this point on!!
@chocholate: LOL! I’ll make them together don’t worry, but how and when is a different matter~ xD
mayuki_daisuki: hello, xD oh yes Mayu’s past is indeed sad, awwww, poor girl, dun cry xD glad you enjoy the update
@chiqinna: LOL! thank you for patiently waiting for the update!
I did take my time~ I hope they have a happy ending for the two of them.
@MayuxMatsuixMusic: Mayu is dense! hahaa~ Oh yes she is, especially with love. We will see who will confess first!? Yuki? Mayu? hehe, xD Glad you enjoy the update!
@Terragen: Glad you love this fanfic! >< Mayu’s parents? Hmm, my idea of her mother would be someone who’s very strict and cool/badass. Switch for the mother and father and you’ll get it right!
Mayu’s father is more of a relax friendly type, while the mother is the insane demon. Pushing Mayu to train and study to become worthy as a leader. We’ll get to know more of them! That’s the best part, Yuki learning about Mayu’s family and what will she do from that point on. Haha~ Since Yuki will be attending that engagement party, we’ll know more of it how it goes~
@Kairi65: LOL!!! Mayu is sure dense with love
Making it more dramatic later with her and Yuki~
@kurogumi: Let’s hope that Yuki attending the engagement party, she will start to realize her feelings for Mayu. Many wonders and mysteries later in the chapter~
let’s see.
AMNESIA: CH10
-
[Rena’s POV]
I woke up in the morning and I’m still terrified. I always have a dream almost every night, the dream she had about the real Rena living with her family in that warm house…living with Jurina. She could remember their faces vaguely and what they said to me…but not their voices. I can’t remember it.
-///-
I keep seeing the younger me living a happily life with her family…this time, I dreamt about Jurina picking me up from school with her bike. I was so excited that she came and we went hanging out in the café and bought snacks before heading back home. She always took great care of me and caressed my head with that loving smile. I could only smile with joy…myself back then is just so happy to be with her and I could feel the happiness through her. She’s me after all, but then that voice spoke back to me again.
(The more you walk down the path…the more you’ll learn the truth.)
“…I know”
I replied back to that voice and I could see that dark shadow appeared right in front of me. That dark scary mist that took a form of a human, even without eyes, I could tell it was staring back at me…and talking to me.
(Is this what you wanted?)
“…”
(You’re afraid.)
“I guess I am.”
(You’re trembling.)
“I’m scared to know the truth. I guess I wondered what will happen to me after all…if I remembered everything.”
(You’ll die.)
“…Can I escape it then?”
(You have the choice for it.)
“…”
(Think wisely…Matsui Rena)
That was the last time I heard the voice before the darkness took over my vision. I knew that was the end of the night, the end of my dreams and was about time I need to wake up to face the cruel reality once again. Every time I had a dream of it…I felt like something inside me is changing little by little. It was like I was about to become something else…someone else that is not myself…maybe I’m slowly turning into the real Matsui Rena. -///-
I finally had changed my clothes, took a shower, and had my breakfast already. I remembered that last night Mayu came to calm me down and I needed to give my thanks to her though. I glanced at the clock again and its almost lunch break for the doctors, I knew that in few minutes later I will get a text from Airin-san for some lunch. He always accompanied me nowadays since Jurina and Yuki were quite busy with work. This time he would be coming to pick me up at my room instead since today he was quite close by to my room. While I was dressing myself up ready to get out for some lunch, I heard the door knocking and opened.
“Sorry to make you wait Rena-chan, I got caught up a little with work.”
“It’s okay Airin-san.”
We went out sitting in the cafeteria having some lunch together, and he paid for me again. Despite I wanted to pay for myself, he offered to pay since he invited me out. Besides, he told me I should save that money I got from Mayu and Jurina in important situations aside from this. I felt a little guilty with him paying everything for me though…but he always had that smile and told me it’s alright. I did tell him that I do have weird dreams every now and then…but not in detail though. The only person that knows the detail of my dream is only Mayu.
“So how was your day though Rena-chan? Still having nightmares?”
“Yeah…I do.”
“Don’t let it get to you okay? It will make your mind unhealthy, it will prevent you from recovering your memories too.”
“I will, thank you Airin-san.”
“At your pleasure Rena-chan.”
After we’re done eating, Airin-san still had some more spare time before he needs to return back to his shift. Before he did we sort of went on a walk together in the lobby floor in case I want anything special before I return back to my room. Obviously I did go to get some melon pan and some drinks in the convenient store, but time flew by so fast that Airin-san needed to go back now.
“I’m sorry I can’t accompany you that long though.”
“Not at all, I’m more than happy you spent time with me Airin-san.”
“I’m glad I’m able to spend time with you too, I enjoyed it.”
“Ah…Airin-san!”
Before he left, I called for him and got his attention. I took a deep breath before I continued where I left off with that smile across my face. He seem to be done a lot lately, maybe it is due to work. So I really hope that I could cheer him up and so I gave him a bottle of fresh juice to give him some freshness.
“Eh? For me?”
“Yeah, you really look down lately. I hope everything is okay for you and I’m more than welcome to hear you out. You’ve been there for me for many things, and so I want to do for you too.”
“R-Rena-chan…”
That moment I can see him blushing slightly before he took the juice from my hand. That was when I can see his smile of relief across his face and he seemed to be refreshing up in a way. His nodded his head softly and sighed with huge relief. I could tell from his eyes that he’s happy and grateful.
“Thank you so much Rena-chan, that meant a lot of me. It’s been tough lately for me…so your words made me happy.”
“Hehe, I’m glad to help you Airin-san! Anytime.”
“Hehe, okay. I’ll see you later Rena-chan.”
“See you!”
I waved at him and seeing him slowly returning back to his office. Checking the clock in the lobby floor I realize it's the time I should head back as well. She had not been talking to Jurina for a long while…she meets with Yuki everyday when she comes to check up on her. As for Mayu, she heard nothing form her at all. The last time she did talk to her would be…few days ago? When I thought about it was quite a while ago, and after that I never heard anything from her at all…I wondered she was okay though. By the time I arrived back home I decided to send a text to her, hoping to receive something back from her but nothing at all…I wondered Mayu is alright though.
Most of the time I spend my day staying and relaxing in my room. Obviously I was also trying to remember many things as well, but I feared it at the same time. Every time I felt like I’m about to remember everything, that was when I remembered that what voice always reminded me…about me disappearing and the real Rena will return.
“…Eh? It’s alright this late??”
Time flew by so fast before she even realize it. However, I didn’t receive any messages from Mayu at all, which was very odd. I wondered whether Yuki would know about this or not and so she decided to go find her. Just about time that I was going to open the door, it slid open right in front of me and I saw her standing right in front of me with a surprise look too. We’re both technically having a heart attack from the surprise. I could see her overreaction and she tried to calm herself down before she spoke back to me.
“W-Whoa!? Rena-chan! Oh god…you gave me a heart attack.”
“S-Same here…I was about to go find you.”
“Hm? What’s a matter? You need something?”
“Well…I’m wondering you heard anything from Mayu? I tried to contact her but she didn’t reply anything back.”
“…So it's the same to you too?”
It seems its not only me that didn’t get a reply from Mayu, apparently Yuki and Jurina tried to reach her but they got nothing back. All they knew was that Mayu did contact hospital that she wouldn’t come in to work and all of it started few days ago. Both Yuki and Jurina did have a talk about it and she told everything to me, about the last time Jurina saw her in hospital…when she came to see me. That made me realize that was the last day everyone heard and saw Mayu…so what happen after that? At least we know Mayu is safe because she had been contacting the hospital about her work absences…but she didn’t say anything further than that and did not reply any single texts from anyone.
“I hope Mayu is alright…”
Yuki sighed and seemed to be worried about her. I guess everyone is. Mayu is not a kind of person that will just disappear out of blue without saying a word and running away from her job. Everything seemed to be fairly odd somehow, but there’s nothing that we could do aside from waiting. Hoping we will hear any good news from her.
“If I heard anything from her I will tell you.”
“Thank you Yuki…and one more thing.”
“Yes?”
“Uh…about Jurina.”
“…What about her?”
I could feel that the tension was getting heavier as I mentioned Jurina’s name. She was indeed Yuki’s ex-girlfriend…and the one I had a crush on. I believe she knew the fight I had with Jurina in the cafeteria, and I think it's the time to clear this problem. I don’t want to prolong it…it bothers me every single day if I leave it as it is. At the very least I want to apologize to her for pushing and pressuring her more than what she needed.
“I want to talk to her, but she never come by anymore so I don’t know where can I go find her, can you help me?”
“…Sure, do you want me to take you to her office or for her to come here?”
“Uhm…Maybe to her office. I don’t want to be a bother to her.”
“She’ll have a break in few hours. I’ll come back to pick you up okay?”
“Thank you so much Yuki.”
“Not at all, I’m glad that at least you two will talk together…Jurina can be stubborn at times, and so dense too. She probably doesn’t know how to talk to you again after that.”
“Ah…I see. So you came to see me for?”
“Coincidently the same reason you have.”
Yuki came over in order to ask regarding Mayu’s whereabouts. She thought that I might know something because I’m getting quite close to her…but unfortunately I didn’t know anything more than her. So after we have a little chat with each other, Yuki have to go back to work again and she promised me that she will be back in few hours to take me over to Jurina’s office. It’s like I’m now counting down to go out into the battlefield. Obviously I’m nervous to meet with Jurina after since that last time we saw each other…at least, I need to apologize to her. I started to understand her position even more after I went to talk to Mayu. Just few more hours…I decided to watch the TV in my room to kill the time until Yuki comes to pick me up.
~XXX~
In this Japanese traditional home, the young woman in her formal light pink kimono kneeled down in front of the door before she slid it open. It was a mandatory to do so before they entered their master’s room…especially Watanabe family members. She pardoned her entry and looked into the room where she could see the young woman sitting adjacent to the opened window. She was wearing the dark navy kimono and the wind brushed her hair swiftly and elegantly. She silently enjoyed watching the garden and pond outside from her room…only the sound of the wind breeze and water was accompanying her ears.
“Mayu-sama, its about time for the meeting.”
“…Thanks Rabutan.”
She turned to look back at her childhood friend, as well as her closest servant in Watanabe headquarters. She aura just seemed to change comparing to her usual one in the hospital. At this place, she was no longer a doctor…but the heir to Watanabe group, and the one to inherit the position as the leader of Japan’s Yakuza association. Those calm gallant eyes that made anyone that stared at them stunned with surrendered to her. She was not even wearing her usual glasses as well. She got up and walked passed Aika whom was still on her knees on the wooden hallway.
“Get up Rabutan, escort me to the meeting.”
“Yes ma’am.”
The young servant followed her master after Mayu led the way. Obviously, it had been a long while Mayu had came back home, to her 2nd home, which was Watanabe’s main headquarters. Her actual home was further away and it was a place where Mayu’s parents were actually living. This place was like a working place for them and for meetings with their business partners or something like marriage meetings for her. Aika guided her to one of the meeting rooms and she kneeled down again before opening the door for Mayu. However, the master stopped her and shook her head.
“I’ll open it myself, I’ll probably need some tea and snacks after this meeting. Prepare that for me at my room.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Thanks Rabutan.”
She watched her servant left before she opened the door to join with the meeting she was asked to. It was a meeting between Watanabe and Miyazawa’s family regarding their business and marriage arrangement. Obviously, the moment she looked at the opposite side of the table where her mother was sitting…she saw Miyazawa Sae sitting and his father. They both saw each other but no words were uttered. Mayu just went straight to sit by her mother’s side and she was directly sitting opposite from Sae. Obviously he knew about this…but he was probably on the same boat as her since she recalled him saying that he just knew it on the same day as her. It was a sudden arrangement between their parents after all. They are not needed to vote on this, because this was some serious business between two families.
“This is my daughter, Watanabe Mayu. This will be the man you’re going to engage with, Miyazawa Sae, he’s just few years older than you.”
“…”
She only stared at him and bowed down her head softly before she looked up at him into his eyes. Sae could immediately tell that he got a different vibe from the usual Mayu he met in the hospital and at that park…it was different, as if she was a different person residing in Mayu. She had this gallant aura of a leader. It was as expected from the next heir of Japan’s Yakuza Association. If he let his guard down, he realized that he would be engulfed by that strong presence from Mayu.
“…Watanabe Mayu, nice to meet you Miyazawa-san.”
“Ah, nice to meet you too…Watanabe-san.”
She was completely in her composure as if she did not know Sae at all. It somehow crept him out with how much Mayu could put such an act like this. Was this the doctor he knew or the leader one that was the real Watanabe Mayu? However, before any more questions he could have. Their parents began to discuss about their businesses since they were partners ever since from her grandfather’s time. The Watanabe family believed in Miyazawa that much for to have their son engaged with the only daughter, and the heir to the leader of all yakuza groups in Japan. That was indeed a big decision that was made. After the important parts of the meeting were discussed, Kikuyo, Mayu’s mother turned to her and gave her a suggestion…but it was indirectly an order. Sae’s father also agreed with that and allowed the two to have their quality time together.
“How about you two spend some time together knowing each other? Mayu, take Sae around the garden.”
“…Yes mother. Please allow me to escort you around Miyazawa-san.”
“Please call me Sae, and if that’s alright for me to call you by your name?”
“Yes, please do.”
-
Mayu escorted Sae as he was in his formal black suit. They could hear the servants stared at talked about them from a far distance away. The doctor sighed before she decided to lead him to another side of the garden so no one would be making up gossips and interrupted their conversation. It seemed both of them had many things that they wanted to talk about, not just regarding their arranged marriage.
“…Fate sure plays trick on our life.”
“…”
Mayu didn’t reply anything as they were crossing the bridge, but then Sae stopped following her in order to grab her attention. Unfortunately it didn’t force her to stop at all, and it made him having to call for her name and tried to talk to that ‘Dr. Watanabe’ that he knew, instead of the ‘Mayu-sama’ of Watanabe household.
“Is Dr. Watanabe the real one? Or Mayu-sama?”
“…”
The woman in kimono stopped and turned around to look at Sae with those calm eyes. No emotions were shown through it and it crept him out slightly. She just looked too different when she was with Jurina and Yuki…compared to the Mayu that was in front of him right now. She sighed softly before she approached to the side and stared down into the pond down from the bridge.
“…Carrying the name of Watanabe on the shoulders. Trained every single day, learn every single day, in order to become a worthy leader…no choices could be done, everything is already decided and planned.”
“…”
“I ran away from this life for my whole time, sneakily study and graduate with medicine degree. Working as a doctor…escape from these burdens and live as a normal person, that’s what I always wanted.”
“…”
“I wondered the same, Sae, which is the real me…Dr. Watanabe? Or Mayu-sama?”
“I wish I can give you that answer, Mayu-sama.”
“Can you cut that out? I had enough people calling me that.”
Mayu raised her voice back and it made Sae startled. Obviously he was well prepared to call his fiancé with such honorific like this after his father lectured him for the whole car ride. Because Watanabe family was considered one of the highest classes families in Japan, they even had connections with the royal family member of Japan. It wouldn’t be surprising if other families would address a member from Watanabe as equivalent as a royal member. Sae realized that cold voice from Mayu and slowly started to understand the pressure the doctor was going through. It must be hard on her as well…and he thought that he shouldn’t push on this matter with her. But there were some few things he needed to know before any conversation would continue.
“Did Yukirin and Jurina knew about this?”
“None, no one outside knew about this… I made sure no one knew about my family and anything about my life. I expect you to keep the secret.”
“I will.”
“You have my gratitude, Sae.”
“…Aren’t you tired? Keeping up with this.”
“…”
Mayu remained in silence on only stared back at the water again, watching the carp fishes swim peacefully in that clear water…only she sighed again, and it was more than enough hint for Sae that she refused to answer his question. However, it made him move on to the next one, obviously he knew Mayu was a talented doctor…but after this family inheritance he doubt that she would be able to go back to that life again.
“What are you going to do with your career?”
“What do you think? I’ll have to give it up due to my position.”
“…I can see that. Won’t that make both of your friends have a suspicion?”
“I don’t wish to talk about them here.”
Mayu ended the conversation, expressing how she didn’t wish to talk about Jurina or Yuki at the slightest. Seeing the woman in front of him acting like this, it made Sae sighed and went to join with Mayu, staring down into the pond. He didn’t know what to talk to this woman at all…since she didn’t seem like she wanted to talk about anything at all. But suddenly, the Watanabe spoke up and caught his attention immediately.
“…What do you think of Yuki?”
“Huh?”
“Answer.”
Using that authority she had, Mayu forced an answer from Sae without any further explanation to why she came up with that question. If Mayu weren’t his fiancé and the daughter of Watanabe Ichiro, the head leader of Yakuza Association, he would refuse to answer. He realized he needed to go along with the flow, as his lady ordered.
“…I used to like her back when we’re engaged. She’s quite fun to tease at times…and she’s a good girl. I can tell she’s a good nurse.”
“…”
“Does it answer your point?”
“…”
Mayu didn’t answer him back and only remained in silence. Sae seemed to realize that he really got himself with this abnormal fiancé… However, he couldn’t blame her for being like this. Little by little he had more interest in Mayu, he was interested to know more about her after this talk. She had much more mysteries than he expected her to have…it already surprised her enough that to know his fiancé was Watanabe Mayu, that heart surgeon he knew, and the biggest yakuza’s only daughter. It was like destiny was having fun messing around with their lives. After their personal talk was over, Sae went straight to business and tell Mayu the cruel truth regarding their engagement.
“The official engagement will be arranged by Miyazawa group. There will be guests there as well and please feel free to invite anyone.”
“What else?”
“I’ll have to accompany you through the night, since you’re my fiancé. It will be in the 5-star hotel in the middle of the city. It will be this weekend starting at 6pm.”
“Is that it?”
“That is all. We brought invitations and information with us today. My father is likely to give it to your mother already.”
“That’s good to hear.”
“…Shall we return back?”
“Should be about time we need to.”
His fiancé sure was extremely cold to him, but it was due to her position as the leader. For just a young woman like her to become the boss like her father would force her to go through hell in order to stand right here. He sighed and went along with Mayu’s flow…he didn’t know what to say to her and just simply followed her, and it was the first time he was mentally dominated. Mayu’s superior presence was heavy and made him listen to her unconditionally. It was highly expected from the future leader after all…but that wouldn’t stop him. There were still many things he wished to obtain the answer from Watanabe.
~XXX~
[Rena’s POV]
“Rena-chan, are you ready?”
Yuki came knocking on my door and it caught my attention. It was about time that I would go to meet with Jurina during her free hour. I nodded firmly and got out from my seat to follow Yuki out from my room. She told me how Jurina would have a free hour, so unlikely she would go anywhere aside from her office to rest. At worse case scenario, she would be called to the ER for work. It didn’t take that long for me to arrive in front of this door that had the plate said ‘Kashiwagi Jurina’ and that was when Yuki decided to leave me alone.
“I hope things goes well between you two.”
“…Thank you. I wish too.”
“Let me tell you something at least…Jurina cares a lot of you. You’re very important to her, that’s why…she’s afraid of making a move.”
“…”
“I’ll be waiting for you over there okay? Take your time.”
“A-Ah, thank you…”
She gave me a soft pat on the head before she walked away, giving me that moment to be with Jurina alone, and to talk to her clearly. I took a deep breath before I stood firmly in front of her door and knocked strongly enough for her to hear it. I could her the sound of chair moving and my heart started to race, she was definitely inside there…and I was about to lose control of my breath. I was so nervous with this than I expected. Jurina is just right behind these doors and I just froze right in front of the door.
“Who is that?”
She responded back to the knock and I bit my lips before I replied back to her. It was the moment of now or never; I needed to do this for both her and my sake. Despite I tried to speak out, no words came out at all. I was really nervous and I tried to calm myself down…taking a deep breath again. But instead of me speaking up, I just opened the door instead. I could see her sitting at her chair with her usual glasses and paper files on the table. She stared back at me with surprise and shock. Obviously she would be since she wouldn’t expect me to come to her office room.
“…Rena…chan?”
“Uhm…Can I come in?”
“Y-Yeah.”
I closed the door and it was just the two of us here in this room. I just stood there and she was in silence as well, maybe she didn’t know what to say with my sudden presence here. I spoke up first and looked back at her, hoping that I wouldn’t stutter due to my nervousness.
“Can we talk? I really need to talk to you.”
“…I guess we need to. Please take a seat there, I’ll get you something.”
She got up from her chair and went to prepare a glass of water for me while I went to sit at the couch she told me to. It was quite a comfortable couch and I wondered why she had one here in her office though. I didn’t see something like this in Mayu’s office. Jurina came back with a glass of water and passed it over to me before she sat down on one of the chairs around the table. She didn’t sit beside me…intentionally. Was she still affected from that fight we had in the cafeteria like me? However, her expression was so calm, but scary at the same time…but then it was Jurina that started the conversation first.
“Yuki brought you here right?”
“A-Ah, yes.”
“…I see, I guess I owe her for that.”
“Eh?”
“I was planning to go talk to you after I finish my paper works, but surprisingly you came here instead.”
I was shocked to learn that Jurina felt the same way as me. She wanted to talk to me and we both knew what issue was that. However, I just acted a little earlier than her and that was why she was surprised to see me here. I’m actually glad to know she felt the same that we needed to talk things through, and so she kept on going with that vague smile across her face.
“I bet we’re here for the same reason…and before we talk any further, I want to apologize for what happen that day, I really did lose control of myself.”
“It’s okay, it's the same as for me.”
“Its not that I don’t want to tell you…but I can’t. Please give me some time before I can tell everything to you, because none of it is a pleasant memory at all.”
“About…our parents?”
“Yes, I presumed you heard a little from Dr. Furukawa.”
“But…I still want to hear from your side.”
I got Jurina’s attention and she looked back at me for a short while before she diverted her glance away again. She stared back onto her first as she had a dilemma whether to tell the story to me or not. I wanted her to tell me everything about myself, our parents, and about her too. However, if Jurina is not ready to do this, then I can’t just simply force everything on her…she carried this huge burden that no one could ever see or understand it.
“But when you’re ready to tell me everything.”
“…!”
Jurina looked up at me again and she was shocked. I could tell it. I continued where I left off and told her how I felt. I knew she carried all these burdens and never shared it with anyone, and seeing her doing such a thing like this pained me. The more I got to know Jurina, the more I realized how much she had been fighting all alone…without letting anyone help her. Not even Mayu, not even Yuki, no one at all. I don’t know I’m being selfish or not, but I wanted to shoulder that burdens with her…at the very least, I’m still her younger sister. Even though I never felt that she’s my older sister…it was too late to feel that way already.
“But please don’t take too long, at least I want to hear everything from you. I realized how each day passed by I slowly start to remember more things…about our parents, and us.”
“…”
“At least…can you answer me one thing?”
“Yes?”
“You’re…my sister right?”
Jurina realized that was coming, the biggest question of their relationship. She sighed again before she looked back at me with those sad eyes. I’m not so sure what were the emotions behind those eyes but I know she’s sad and upset. I can’t understand why could she possibly be sad about this…I’m the one who’s supposed to be sad…to learn that I’ve fallen in love with my own sister.
“Not blood-related, yes. Your parents adopted me ever since I’m a baby.”
“…Do you love them?”
“Yes I do. Even we’re not blood related…I love them as my real parents.”
“Then they are ‘our’ parents, not only mine.”
“…You’re right. They’re our parents.”
The moment of our silence again, but it seemed we talked things through with each other to a certain extent. We both exchanged glances with each other before I moved away to give some space beside me for another person to sit it…Yes, I turned to Jurina and bit my lips before I spoke up to her. It’s one of my selfish requests for her.
“Can you come closer…?”
“…Okay.”
She got up from her chair and sat down beside me. Without any words, we didn’t even look at each other at all and just felt each other’s presence beside one another. My heart starting to race as I could feel Jurina’s body warmth against me, and my breathing is shaking. Then suddenly I felt that hand patted on my head and caught my attention instantly, it was Jurina’s hand and she started up the conversation again.
“I won’t ask for your forgiveness, but I’m sorry. I’m really sorry…”
“Jurina its okay, I think I started to understand your position even more now…thanks to Mayu opening my eyes.”
“…I’m really sorry, Rena-chan.”
Her voice sounded so painful and even an amateur like me could feel that sadness coming out from her voice. It wasn’t just me that was hurt about this fight, if I were to be in Jurina’s position instead would I do the same thing as her? I wouldn’t be able to know any of that until I learn the truth from her, but before that…it will definitely be a long wait for me. That could be another issue in the future if Jurina kept running away from me like this, but right now I’m glad that things between us could settle down, at the very least. I wrapped my arms around her and moved in closer against her body. I hugged her tightly and buried my face onto her shoulder. Obviously she tensed up but then she relaxed down and turned her body to face me, allowing me to hug her properly.
“…Can we stay like this for a while?”
“Sure…”
I could feel her arms wrapping around and pulled me in closer to her. Then for some reason it made me remembered something so nostalgic. That warmth from her hug…it made me remember something I long forgotten…It felt that way. I don’t know what it was but before I realized it again I was crying. Tears flowed down my cheeks and I bet Jurina realized it. She just hugged me tighter and stroked my head without saying a word. She’s just so kind to me, she did everything for me and always took care of me. But I can’t be anything more than just a sister to her…even though we’re not biologically related, we’re not that different from Mayu and Yuki at all…sometimes I wondered why things had to be like this. What if I never have any sibling relationship with her…could she love me the way I love her? The more I put my thoughts into it the more I realized that life is just so horrible…I can’t never love her as my sister anymore, just as much as she couldn’t love me more than a sister…this is just painful, too painful. I allowed myself to be engulfed with that sadness and cried on her shoulders. Before I realized it again, I was crying…so hard, and for how long I was crying in Jurina’s arms. She didn’t bother asking anything, and only just hugged me closely…telling me that she’ll be right there for me. But I wondered which way is better though…I want to be with her, but at the same time I wanted to stay away from her too. Just by being with her…reminds me how my feelings for her are disgusting despite its not technically wrong since we’re not blood-related…but it’s morally wrong since we grew up as siblings.
“I’m sorry…I’m really sorry Rena-chan.”
Hearing her apologized to me non-stop felt like she was telling me that she can’t love me back the way I felt for her. But obviously she didn’t know how I felt…not yet, and glad she would never know it. It would be too awkward to know that your sister loved you in a romantic way. I didn’t want to put more burdens and pressure on her…not anymore. She’s important to me…and I wanted to help her no matter what, and if it meant that I must hide these feelings away from her, then I will do it…maybe its best for both of us.
~XXX~
Yuki was sitting outside waiting for Rena and Jurina to finish their moments together. It really did take 45 minutes of the time and the doctor’s break would be over soon. Then suddenly she heard the sound of the door opened and it immediately captured her attention, but it was Jurina…carrying sleeping Rena in her arms. She was quite surprised but at the same time she was grateful to realize that things might’ve went well. She got up from her seat and approached her immediately.
“Hey Yuki, I didn’t know you’re waiting…sorry to make you waste your break time like this.”
“It’s alright, but…how did it went?”
“…How about we talk while we head back to Rena-chan’s room?”
About 15 minutes left before the nurse and the doctor’s break would be over, and they used the time they had left to go back to Rena’s room to put the young patient back to her bed. While they were walking by each other’s side, Jurina told how they really had an intensive conversation with each other about their relationship as siblings, as well as many truths that were yet to be told to her. Yuki only stayed in silence and listened to what Jurina had to tell her, but somehow she managed to find out what the doctor tried to avoid telling her beloved sister.
“You didn’t tell her your feelings, didn’t you?”
“…”
“Bull’s eye. How long are you going to keep that up?”
“Maybe I won’t tell her at all. Maybe its best for both of us since I’m the only sort-of family member left for her. Her memories will return back, and my role to become her sister is inescapable. I would just give her more burdens if I tell her how I felt.”
Yuki finally realized and understood the meaning behind Jurina’s words and actions for all these times. The Rena before the accident loved and cared for her as an older sister…it was just a matter of time when she would remember everything. Despite Jurina loved her much more complicated than that, Rena couldn’t love her that way. Even though Jurina didn’t know about Rena’s current feelings…the fact that she would remember everything was inevitable, as so for her duty as the older sister. She wouldn’t want to put any more pressure on Rena that her only living family loved her in a romantic way. She had no one else to rely on…and only Jurina could take care and protect her. That’s the promise she made with her mother before she passed away. She would protect and make Rena happy no matter what. If her feelings would only bring more burden and pain to Rena…she would lock it away for eternity despite she knew that it was the most stupid act that one could do, to deny their real feeling. However, despite Yuki started to understand Jurina’s action even more…she pursued to ask her even more in order to know the truth. She wanted to solve her curiosity.
“…Why did you choose not to tell about your parents though? Shouldn’t she know what happen?”
“What kind of remorse should you have for your parents…when you remember nothing about them? You wanted to remorse for them…but at the same time you can’t truly be sincere with it, because you remember nothing.”
Jurina made her point so cleared that it made Yuki realized things to many levels. She did not tell anything to Rena not just because she knew how would she felt if she knew everything. What kind of remorse could she give to their parents when she recalled nothing about them? She wouldn’t know what to grieve about aside from their death. Memories were what made things became precious and priceless, without it, nothing can be valuable. While Yuki did took her time thinking, Jurina sighed out loud and stared forward at the corridor they were walking in.
“But I know, I should’ve at least explain things to her before she learned it in a hard way. I was too overprotective and I’m scared Rena-chan would see me as a killer that let our parents die—”
“Jurina, we talked about that already.”
“…Sorry Yukirin.”
“I believe Rena-chan will never look at you that way…so stop it. Trust her a little more.”
“Yeah…I guess so too. I really should talk to her, and tell her more about her past.”
“I agree, spend more time with her as much as you can, okay? Promise me?”
Jurina turned to look at Yuki and started to laugh at her. Obviously Yuki didn’t understand why and wondered whether she said something wrong or not…but apparently not. The doctor was slightly amazed with how motherly Yuki was and couldn’t help but to laugh out…it surprisingly suited her. She started to take a like just like her mother, Kashiwagi Saeko.
“W-What was that for!?”
“You really sounded like a mother, and I promise I’ll spend more time with her.”
“Well, as long as you keep your words I’ll let you slip away, just this once.”
“Haha, thank you.”
Despite they both broke up already, it allowed them to enhance their sisterly relationship with each other. Both of them were comfortable by each other’s presence and Yuki seemed to have overcome the unrequited love quite fast. She didn’t find a reason to be grieving over this and rather help her dense friend with her love for her unrelated sister. However, as they were about to reach Rena’s room, they unexpected met with a man they both knew very well…it made both of them stopped with slight surprise.
“What brings you here Miyazawa-san? Surprisingly to see you here at this hour.”
“Can we have a talk afterwards? To both of you.”
He spoke up and got their attention. Both of them wouldn’t be able to imagine what would Sae wanted to talk, especially to both of them though. They told him to wait at the seating area while they dropped off Rena at her room first. They did take their time; Jurina put the young girl onto her bed, covered her with the blanket and patted her head gently before she decided to leave. However, she accidentally heard a murmur escaping from Rena’s lips.
“Mmm…neechan…”
It caught her off guard and Rena must be dreaming. She approached her again and gave her a gentle stroke before a light kiss on her head. If she had to forever play the role as the beloved older sister, she was more than willingly to do so. As long as she was able to protect Rena and give her the happiness she needed, Jurina was more than welcome to do anything for to see that smile.
“…Good night, Rena-chan.”
She left the room and Yuki was waiting for her in front of the room. They both exchanged glances with each other knowing that it was about time they go meet with Sae, which was waiting for them. They were quite surprise for him to come at this hour, and to talk to both of them at the same time too. As they arrived, they saw him stood up and slightly bowed his head down at them. Before any words could be uttered, Sae spoke up first and led the conversation.
“Thank you for giving me both of your time, I wanted to pass this invitation to you two.”
“Huh? What is it for?”
Both of them too the invitation and Yuki realized that it was similar to the one that Sae gave to her at the amusement park. However, Mayu did throw it away before she did even have the chance to read it. If she recalled it correctly it was a part for his marriage or something. So he did his job explaining the party to both of them while the looked at the content inside the card.
“It’s an engagement party, that was forced by my parents. It would be nice if you two could come.”
“Why inviting us all of the sudden though? Isn’t it a little weird for you to come this far for this?”
Jurina made the point and Sae only sighed softly before he continued where he left off. He told them that he wanted them to come but couldn’t tell the exact reason. Only one thing he said that caught their attention was that if they attended the party, it would answer some of the questions and doubts they had…and they wouldn’t regret it. They wondered what he was referring to, but someone like Sae wouldn’t spoil it up for certain even though they asked.
“It will be this weekend, so I really wish to see you two there, you can bring that young girl that’s with you just now too. You’ll all be my guest at the party.”
“That’s kind of you, Sae-san.”
Yuki replied and only he smirked to her with that usual sneaky grin. However, he didn’t have any intention to bully or tease the nurse anymore. He had quite a lot of things on his hand already, as well as many schemes in mind too. This was probably one of them as well…to have Jurina and Yuki attend his engagement party. It’s quite a closed social event; so only special ones would get this invitation. He also continued to push on so to convince both of them to go.
“You’ll find what you’ve been looking for as well…do take this seriously.”
Both of them were not so sure why Sae was convincing them this hard. Despite they didn't have good terms with him for quite a long while…they knew him quite a while enough to tell that if it wasn’t something so deadly important, he wouldn’t be convincing them like this. Just for once, Jurina nodded her head and agreed to go to his event, just for the sake of finding out what he was referring to. Yuki also agreed with her and accepted his invitation, carrying that same thought as Jurina.
“We’ll go, and I’ll ask Rena-chan about it if she wants or not.”
“I’m glad, I’ll leave another invitation here as well for her just in case. When you attend the event, please show you your invitation so to let you in. That’s all I’m here for and I need to take my leave.”
“Thanks for coming this far for this.”
“Not at all. I hope to see you there.”
He took his leave immediately without any further ado. Leaving the doctor and nurse curious about what he said. They only could hope that he was plotting something again. Jurina wouldn’t forgive him if he tried to harm Yuki in any kind of way, and she patted the nurse’s head gently.
“I’ll make sure he doesn’t hurt you.”
“Just let me handle it, I can take care of myself.”
Both of them exchanged glances with each other and Jurina was obviously surprised to hear such a strong determined voice coming from Yuki. She could see that Yuki was being serious with what she said and it made her smiled out unconsciously. It seemed the young nurse had grown up so much that she didn’t seek for Jurina’s protection anymore. It made the doctor happy of her and gave a pat on the shoulder with a smile. She no longer needed to be overprotective on Yuki anymore.
“If you say so, don’t push yourself too hard okay?”
“Of course. Let’s go back to work now, it will be a long evening.”
“It will be.”
It was a tough day for everyone in a way. It was a big breakthrough between Rena and Jurina that made them understand each other even more. They both realized each other’s mistake in what they did and moved on from there. The doctor resumed her work in the office and had been reflecting on her actions at the same time. Wondering what she should do with her feelings for Rena at this point on…to follow her heart, or follow her conscious. Either decision she made, it would be both painful in a different way.
As for the unknown lone wolf, Watanabe Mayu, sitting in her room after she had her dinner with her parents, staring out from the window at her usual spot and stargazed peacefully in the silence. It was the only time she could let her emotions out and her eyes told how much sadness she had for to be held captive with so-called ‘destiny’. After all these years she had been trying to escape, it was inevitable in the end for her. She was eternally chained and she doubted she would be able to meet with Jurina, Rena and Yuki again. She clutched onto the giraffe keychain she got from Yuki…and that’s the only reminder that she once lived as a normal person, with all her friend, and her love one.
For the nurse, her position for the night was at usually at the Cardiac department. She just came out from the operation room and coincidently walked pass Mayu’s office. Seeing her name on that door…it made Yuki worried and wondered where that woman went. Despite Mayu was always being a pain to her and annoyed her, she had to admit that she missed her not being around. She bit her lips softly and continued her night shift for the day until it’s over.
It seemed to be a very long day…for every one of them.
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~TO BE CONTINUE~
Topic: AMNESIA: Chapter 14 ~ [WMatsui + MaYuki]~ (18/12/2015) (Read 111564 times)