All the World's a Stage so Take a Bow
"Aya-chan, I swear the world's gone crazy. We work with freaks."
"What do you mean by that?" laughed Matsuura Aya.
She secretly came to the conclusion that Miki was having one of her yearly breakdowns from stress. Sometimes the girl took herself and her work a little too seriously, and this ended in massive disillusionment and disappointment, which were explosively expressed.
"Haven't you noticed everyone acting a little, um, strangely?" Miki asked tentatively.
Aya turned and looked at Miki to evaluate the meaning behind her words. They were sitting on a couch in Aya's apartment, watching television and chatting. The usual laid back thing to do on a low-key day off.
"Weird like how?"
Miki shrugged.
"None of the girls have been acting like themselves for a long time. They all seem to be switching into these weird characters," Miki said, still reluctant to give out more information and explain the entire story to her friend.
At least not yet.
"Well, you know how tough and confusing growing up under this kind of pressure can be," Aya said with a pointed look. "The girls are just getting a bit wild while looking for an outlet. We both went through it."
Miki agreed, smiling and remembering their sillier days of horsing around. Showbiz was difficult for young, adolescent girls.
But she was talking about something of a whole different calibre. This wasn't simply about youngsters getting wild. Besides, people older than her - people who had already been completely engulfed by the industry - were acting up.
"I know. But I mean they've gone crazy. I think there's a widespread epidemic of, uh, I don't know. Dementia, or something. I mean, it's almost as if they all have multiple personality syndrome. No, that would actually be okay. Their problem is that they have multiple weird personality syndrome."
Aya remained quiet and listened to Miki heat up.
"And furthermore, they all target me. They gravitate towards me. What did I ever do to them? Did I ever rub stacks of ten-thousand yen bills in their noses or throw turds at them? No! So why do I get screamed at? Why am I the one that has to pick up other people's messes and comfort the clinically depressed? Why do I have to endure being caught in a fishing net or being lectured about marriage? Why me!?"
Aya put a calming expression on her face and she stroked Miki's hair in a motherly way.
"It's okay, Miki-chan," she said comfortingly. "We'll figure it out. Why don't I go and make you some nice, hot tea and a snack?"
Miki pouted and nodded. Aya got off the couch and went to the kitchen as Miki tried to compose herself. She turned her attention to the TV. There was a mid-afternoon talk show on. She sat back and tried to relax. She heard Aya tinkering about in the kitchen. She took deep breaths and reassured herself that no matter what happened, she still had a handful of sane friends in whose homes she could seek refuge.
Suddenly, the picture on the TV screen was engulfed in static that lasted for about one second. When the image re-emerged, it was different from what it had been before. Now, a blue logo that simply said "News Bulletin" appeared on the screen. Music indicating some sort of grand crisis occurring started to play, and the logo began to spin. There was a cut to a news reporter as the music kept playing, its volume lowered significantly.
"We interrupt this program to bring you this breaking news."
Miki's jaw dropped. She knew exactly who this "news reporter" was.
She's not even a news reporter! she thought angrily.
What was she doing on the air? Was this some kind of prank?
"I'm Charmy Ishikawa, and I'm happy!" cheered the girl, flashing her trademark smile before quickly becoming solemn. "But this is a serious situation."
"No. No! Get off the screen," Miki muttered, grabbing the remote control and changing the channel.
The next channel showed the same scene. And the next. And the next. Miki threw the remote down and grabbed her head.
"This can't be true. This can't be happening."
But it was. She watched, hypnotised by Rika.
"...and that is all we know so far. We now go straight to the scene of the action with special field reporter Elizabeth Kamei. Elizabeth, are you there?"
Miki twitched.
Rika's image became a small box in the corner as a new image filled the screen. The new image was that of an ordinary street corner. The focus was on one establishment named "Ataare's Bar". There was nobody on the screen. Miki sighed partially in relief. Perhaps it had just been a mistake A few wires had got crossed and something Rika was filming accidentally aired live.
"Good afternoon!" cried a cheerful voice.
A figure burst onto the scene. She was wearing a frilly white and pink dress and holding a microphone in her hand. Miki groaned in pain. Eri stared into the camera with a big, cheesy grin on her face.
"I'm Elizabeth Kamei, field reporter!" she said by way of introduction, doing a spastic action with her arm and smiling some more into the camera before turning serious. "I'm live at the scene of Ataare's Bar, where there's been a big happening!"
She burst into cheers before quieting down again.
"There seems to be a hostage situation inside this snack bar," she said, gesturing to the bar. "We don't know many details yet, but we do know that this establishment belongs to a woman who is believed to be an immigrant. Her name is Ataare Iida. She also runs a psychic friends network that specialises in assisting people who have some sort of problem. Oh! Look! Here she is now! Miss Ataare! Can we ask you a few questions?"
Miki watched in fascinated horror as Iida Kaori appeared on the screen wearing a black top and a long red skirt. In her hand was a single long-stemmed red rose.
"I'm Ataare Iida. How can I help you?" she asked, smiling into the camera with wide eyes.
Miki shuddered as Kaori received a three-second CGI title at the bottom of the screen.
"Miss, do you have any idea what's going on in your bar?" Eri asked, putting her microphone up to Kaori's mouth.
Kaori's face turned worried.
"There's something going on in my bar? I just arrived to open up now."
Eri shoved Kaori out of the screen and spoke excitedly to the camera.
"Miss Ataare says she has no idea what's going on. Is this really the reply of a so-called psychic? Could we possibly have stumbled upon a scandal? A psychic racket?!"
Kaori, who had appeared back on camera, pushed Eri out of the way.
"It's because I haven't done my routine yet," she explained, blinking rapidly several times and smiling calmly.
"Oh no," Miki groaned, knowing what was coming.
"What's wrong?" Aya asked, walking up to the couch.
Miki pointed at the screen passionately and beseeched Aya, "Look! Look!"
Aya was about to turn her head and look at the TV when the kettle started whistling.
"Oh, hang on. The water's boiling."
She rushed back to the kitchen. Miki groaned again but quickly shut up and kept watching.
The camera had panned out to catch both girls on the screen. Kaori was standing in the centre of the shot. She took a step back and assumed a simple position holding her rose above her head. Suddenly, she clapped her hands.
"Olé!" she cried out.
A colourfully dressed hippie wielding a guitar jumped out of nowhere and started a flamenco riff on his guitar. Kaori began to twist and contort her body into various poses that were meant to be taken as some sort of Spanish dancing. Even Miki knew enough to say that Kaori was a fraud and had never taken a lesson in her life.
Miki then took a closer look at the guitarist, receiving a shock. Behind the tinted glasses was a familiar face.
"Kago-chan?!" Miki burst out.
But of course Aibon couldn't hear her.
When did Kago-chan learn to play the guitar so well? Miki wondered.
When Kaori tripped and fell to the floor, the music stopped. However, Aibon kept going. No sound emerged from her guitar, and it became evident that she'd been playing the air and not the strings.
"You phoney," Miki muttered as Aibon let the guitar slip from her hands, the instrument quickly being caught by the strap that held it on her shoulder.
"Oh. Well," Aibon stated when the situation became apparent.
She walked off calmly and all the attention was focused back on Kaori.
"Are you okay?!" Eri asked in a panic.
Kaori, who was gripping her ankle in pain, raised a hand, followed by her head. She looked directly at the camera.
"I've figured it out!" she declared passionately.
Excited, Eri jumped up and down.
"Oh oh oh! Tell us! What's going on in your bar?"
Kaori took her time standing up. When she was on her two feet again, she looked at Eri enthusiastically.
"I've figured it out!" she repeated.
"Well?" Eri asked expectantly.
"It's-" Kaori took a step towards the camera as if to impart a secret that only the viewers were privy to hear.
Her expression seemed to cave in on itself. The smile dropped from her face, replaced by a vacant look that leaned towards the sad side. She sauntered off.
"B-but what is it? What's happening?" questioned Eri, but in vain.
She received no response as Kaori slunk off, leaving behind a surprised and confused reporter.
Miki realised that she had been sitting on the edge of her seat, waiting for the reply. She shook her head.
I'm not going to let them fool me. They're behaving like idiots!
"Well, um, that's that," Eri said into the camera, fixing her bangs.
"Field reporter Elizabeth Kamei," Rika called out for the first time since Eri had started speaking. "Can you get inside the building?"
Eri looked horrified.
"What if it's dangerous?" she asked.
"Don't be scared," Rika encouraged her. "Be positive! You won't get hurt!"
"Okay!" Eri cheered.
It was obvious to Miki how blindly Eri had just jumped into the task. She watched as the camera followed Eri into the bar. It was dark within.
"Well, there seems to be nothing notable here. The bar is dark," Eri reported in a shaky whisper, voicing what was quite obvious.
She walked further in.
"Wait!" she hissed into her microphone. "I can hear something coming from behind that door. It seems to be a storage room."
"What the hell is this crap?" Miki asked angrily. "Aya-chan, come in here quickly. You'll see what I mean about our co-workers!"
Aya didn't reply, and Miki rolled her eyes. What was Aya doing? Holding a tea ceremony?
She continued to watch the screen, hoping that the police - the real police - would show up and arrest "Elizabeth".
"I'm at the door of the storage room," Eri whispered loudly into her mic, addressing the camera. "I can hear a voice. I'm going to open the door."
And so she did. The storage room was narrow and filled with bags of rice, cans of food, and beer. Bottles upon bottles of beer. A solitary light bulb hung on the ceiling, swinging gently from side to side, its dim light casting spooky shadows on the wall. On the floor was the most interesting thing: Okada Yui dressed in rags and holding a tiny stick in front of her. She shivered as though cold.
"Please... buy a match," she pleaded softly, looking at Eri.
Eri jumped back, frightened to find a girl sitting on the floor of a storage closet.
"Huh?!"
"P-please," Yui said again in a tired voice. "Buy a match, will you?"
Eri took a worried step back and shook her head.
"N-no thank you," she mumbled.
"So cold. So... very c-cold," Yui whimpered.
She pulled her ragged shawl a little more tightly around her shoulders and sneezed twice.
"So hungry.... Buy a match..."
Eri backed away bit by bit until she was clear of the door. She closed it quickly.
"Moving along!" she said in a nervously cheerful tone.
She steered the camera's focus away from the closet and faced the kitchen.
"I can see light coming from there," she whispered, pointing to the kitchen door. "Let's investigate!"
She crept up and yanked the door open, no concern for dangerous hostage-takers.
What was inside the kitchen proved to be far more terrifying than any terrorist or kidnapper. At least to Miki. In the small kitchen were girls. Familiar girls all decked out in various costumes ranging from ridiculous to elaborate to ordinary. The group of girls was gathered together in the middle of the room. Miki wondered if the real owners of the bar were aware that a gaggle of psychotic teenagers had taken over their property.
On the screen, Eri approached the girl closest to her.
"Excuse me, sir," she said to a yanki-type wearing a dishevelled, baggy school uniform.
"What the hell do you want?" the boy asked, glaring into the camera.
"Maki-chan," Miki groaned. "Aya! Get out here quick!"
"What's your name?" Eri asked timidly, shrinking back from the scary Maki.
"Me?" Maki asked, looking into the camera again. "Ayanokouji Warumaro."
She ripped her jacket open to reveal her supposed given name written on her non-school-issue t-shirt.
"And what are you doing here?" Eri asked, now terrified out of her wits.
"I'm here to stop The Boss from fucking with us!" Maki yelled, moving right up to the camera lens. "We got dis one bitch tryin' to control our lives. We're bringin' her down!"
There came a loud whoop from the crowd, and another yanki-type peeled off from the group.
Curly brown hair, sunglasses, school uniform fixed to reveal an improper amount of leg, and far too much makeup.
"A-and who are you?" the quivering field reporter asked.
"Don't fuck with me!" Asami Konno yelled, chewing her gum noisily.
She turned her head to look into another camera that was miraculously there and tuned into the broadcast signal.
"Don't fuck with me!" she repeated, and then she looked back at the original camera to yell, "Go to hell!"
Maki came over and draped an arm over Asami's shoulder.
"This is my girlfriend," she said.
"Ah, I see," Eri intoned politely.
"What?!" bellowed Miki.
She jumped to her feet.
"You do not have a girlfriend, Maki. You don't!" she yelled at the TV. "And why have you corrupted Kon-chan?"
"Yeah. What's it to you?" Asami asked Eri, of course unable to hear Miki's explosively angry statements.
Asami gave Eri an intimidating look, making Eri shy away, caving in over her microphone.
"Nothing," she mumbled.
Satisfied to have scared Eri, Asami stepped back and looked up at Maki.
"Reporters!" she laughed.
"Yeah, tell me about it," Maki replied with a gruff chuckle.
The two walked out of the view of the camera. Eri was visibly relieved. The colour returned to her face.
"Well, that was interesting," she said to the camera. "Now lets see who else is here and just exactly who this Boss is that they're trying to topple."
Eri reached out, grabbed two people, and pulled them in front of the camera.
Takahashi Ai, wearing a yellow hat and a blue smock, immediately started to cry.
"Mommyyyy!"
Eri laughed nervously and pushed Ai away, focusing her attention on the other person.
"Poor thing," the subject in question muttered, her face obscured by a supermarket flyer. "But can you believe this sale? Three yen off of all heads of cabbage tomorrow morning only. Amazing, isn't it?"
Eri didn't reply, and after a moment of silence, the flyer was lowered.
"Isn't it?" Abe Natsumi repeated.
"Um, yes. Yes, it is," Eri agreed robotically.
Natsumi smiled, adjusting her glasses and smoothing out her apron.
"And starting this afternoon at three, tofu will be sold at a five yen discount if you purchase two or more packs!"
"That's wonderful!" Eri cheered, getting back into character. "Now tell me: what are you doing here?"
"Here?" Natsumi asked.
Eri nodded.
"We're here to defeat an evil woman who has poisoned us all."
"I see," Eri said. "And who is this woman?"
But Natsumi did not reply. She wandered off the scene, her nose stuck in her discount flyer as she muttered about the spectacular sales.
"The plot thickens!" Eri announced dramatically into her microphone. "Newscaster Charmy, are you still with us?"
Rika's picture increased in size.
"Yes, field reporter Elizabeth. I'm here watchi-"
"Okay!" Eri interrupted. "Let's see who else we can talk to!"
Rika's image shrank once again, and the audio was cut, leaving the girl to look rather silly talking to herself.
Miki rested her forehead in her hands.
"Somebody call the police," she muttered. "Aya! Call the police!"
"What? Stop exaggerating," came the reply from the bedroom.
For some reason, Aya had left the kitchen and gone to her bedroom. Miki didn't ask why.
On the screen, Eri was searching for the next interviewee to choose from the mêlée, but the next two stars of this ridiculous newsflash decided to choose Eri before she could choose them.
A panda and a sheep cornered her against a wall.
"Meeeh," the sheep brayed.
The panda: "..."
"Eh, um, uh, hello, Mr. Panda and Mr. Sheep," Eri greeted nervously.
"Mehhh. What are you dooooing here? Mehh," Tsuji Nozomi asked, turning her headpiece-covered head to the camera.
"I'm trying to find out what the commotion here in Ataare's Bar is. Who is this mysterious woman you're trying to overthrow?"
The panda suddenly threw its arms around Eri, who gave a little shriek of surprise. The panda slumped over Eri's shoulder and stayed there. Miki thought she could hear snoring. It must've been picked up by that dreadfully hidden boom mic that poked down from the top of the screen.
"Get off of me!" Eri screeched, pushing the panda off her.
She may have looked like a weak little girl, but she was strong. The panda fell to the ground and stayed there, unmoving. Michishige Sayumi, wearing a police uniform, pushed through the crowd and dropped to her knees to inspect the panda.
"This panda is not well!" she cried, grabbing the "panda's" buttocks and shaking it.
A hand shot up and clocked Sayumi in the face. The panda didn't appreciate being touched like that. Miki let her guard down for just a moment and snickered. She then sobered up and kept watching.
"Oooh, we have to take this panda to see the doctor," Sayumi declared.
Just then, a doctor appeared on the screen. But it wasn't a doctor. It was Kaori. She had changed out of her dance costume and was now wearing a doctor's lab coat, her eyebrows taped to point upwards, her eyes shut to tiny slits. It had the effect of making her looking heavily drugged and uninterested.
"Doctor, what's wrong with the panda?" Sayumi asked.
"I dunno," Kaori replied airily.
"Well, check up on him," Sayumi ordered (cutely).
"Well, okay," Kaori sighed.
She kneeled down and placed a stethoscope on Reina's back.
"I don't hear anything," she declared, starting to get up.
"But you're not even wearing that... um, whatchamacallit thing in your ears!" Sayumi cried.
Kaori looked at her stethoscope eartips and sighed.
"Oh."
She put them in and repeated her actions.
"He's alive," she said after one second.
"But how can you tell fro-"
"I'm tired. Bye."
And with that, Kaori stood up and sauntered out of the camera's field of view.
The panda then rolled up and walked away.
"Charmy," Eri said, addressing the camera. "The panda seems to be okay. The doctor appears to have been successful in reviving him. The doctor looks famous. Like someone I know... But no matter. Let's try and find out what's going on here."
Nono the sheep started to bah and prance around the screen. Eri pushed the wild girl aside, and that was that.
"Wasn't that interesting?" she asked the camera with a smile.
"No, it was not. It was weird," Miki muttered.
"Oh, the crowd is thinning out. I can see the centre!" Eri announced, jumping to try and see over taller girls' heads. "I'm going to make my way into the centre."
She pushed into the crowd as various characters called out familiar phrases.
"How did you know that?!"
"Tomeko!!!"
"I'll be frank with you."
"Ooooh ho ho ho ho ohhhh ho ho ho oooooh ho ho ho!"
"Ug. Can I, like, take your order?"
After fighting through a contingent of crazed characters, Eri arrived at the goal.
Miki gasped in horror at what could be seen.
Seated on a chair was someone - a girl was what it appeared to be from her colourful and girlish clothing - with a potato sack over her head. Her legs were tied to the two front legs of the chair and her hands were presumably tied together behind her. She was squirming, and faint, muffled sounds could be heard from under the potato sack, leading Miki to assume that the girl had also been gagged to prevent her from making too much noise.
"Oh my god!" Miki cried out.
No amount of cool character could stop her from reacting to the sight.
"They've crossed the line. They've kidnapped a civilian. Aya-chan, see? This is why we have to call the police!"
On the screen, Miki watched Eri study the prisoner and then grab the closest girl to her.
"Excuse me, but who is this girl?"
Takahashi Ai, now dressed in a nurse's outfit and holding a clipboard, looked at Eri with a pleasant smile.
"She's..." she started but trailed off, her face falling into a sad, tortured expression. "She's..."
Unable to bear the pain of saying the name of the girl, Ai began to cry. She walked away quickly, clutching her clipboard to her chest and trying to control her sobbing.
"It appears I've encountered an unstable nurse!" Eri smiled into the camera and reaching her hand out to grab another girl.
"Excuse me, but who is this girl?"
Asami Konno, wearing a fake long nose and a silly cap, looked at Eri with wide eyes.
"This girl is the Princess of Neverland," she said.
And then her nose grew.
"What?! How?!" Miki screamed.
"You're lying to me!" Eri accused. "Tell me the truth!"
"Oh, okay," Asami replied, looking glum. "She's the most hideous and dangerous girl in the world. She's the epitome of evil and the absolute worst scum you will ever find in this universe..."
Asami's nose didn't grow, which put both Eri and Miki on the edge.
"Her name..."
The suspense grew.
"Her name?" Eri asked.
"Her name..." Miki breathed.
"Her name is-"
And just then, the captive girl, still tied up, threw her head back, whipped the potato sack off, and spit out the handkerchief that had been stuffed into her mouth.
"I'm Kemeko!!"
Miki began to scream and hit her head. Everyone at "Ataare's Bar" began to scream, yell, shout, and run around like headless chickens.
Yasuda Kei, huge red swirl marks painted on her cheeks and a pout that could put any old grandma's puckered up lips to shame, held her head up in triumph.
"Untie me! I'll tell my mommy if you don't!"
Miki stopped hurting herself and watched the proceedings. The tight crowd had suddenly dispersed, giving Kei a wide berth. Funny enough, the yanki girls stood at the outer end of the crowd while the inner end was occupied by various other characters of significantly weaker-looking stature. Everyone, however, was trembling.
"We ain't lettin' you go," Maki the badass yelled in a gruff but shaking voice. "You're a pain in the ass."
"Don't talk to her!" Makoto shrilled in a voice as high as the price her gaudy and complicated dress looked. "It'll only encourage her to speak more! Ohohoho!"
"Wh-what do you plan to do with her?" Eri asked.
Nobody answered. They all looked down to the floor and avoided eye contact. The lights fell, and an eerie red-tinged illumination came from above. A person pushed her way through the crowd.
"Oooh, we'll tell you what we're going to do with her, but you have to promise not to stop us," Yoshizawa Hitomi said, two little devil's horns bouncing on springs attached to a headband on her head.
She wore a black cloak and had a moustache painted onto her face.
"I-I promise," Eri stammered.
"Excellent," the devilish girl cackled. "We're going to sacrifice her to the God of Music and Theatre."
There was a pause.
"What the hell is a God of Music and Theatre? What kind of drugs are you on, Yocchan? Tell me what kind!" Miki yelled angrily at the ridiculous claims of the girl she thought was her friend.
But the claims seemed to become slightly less ridiculous and a tad more dangerous when Yossi produced a sharp looking knife from her robes.
"Oh..." Miki trailed off, not able to find profanity effective enough to communicate her fear.
"In twenty-five minutes, when the clock strikes twelve noon, we will have ourselves a merry little ceremony."
Everyone began to cackle maniacally except for Eri, who smiled brightly and obliviously, and Kemeko, who started to cry.
"Mommy! I want my mommy! You can't do this to me!"
Miki watched in a daze as Eri thanked the group of girls and made her way out of the bar, surfacing to find a bright, sunny street.
"And that's what's happening at Ataare's Bar just in front of Sakanaya Station," Eri said. "This has been field reporter Elizabeth Kamei. Now back to you in the studio, Charmy."
The camera panned out and showed just exactly where the bar was.
"I know that place," Miki gasped.
She jumped up, grabbed her wallet and phone, and ran to the door. Aya, who was just walking out of her bedroom, saw Miki leaving.
"Oh, sorry I took so long. I spilled water all over myself and had to chang-"
"GoingtosaveKeibyeAya!" Miki called out to the girl in one breath, and she slammed the door before she could hear any reply.
"Twenty-five minutes. Sakanaya station. Twenty-five minutes..." Miki mumbled to herself, her mantra to inspire her to run more quickly.
She knew that Sakanaya station was only two stations away from where she was at the moment. If everything worked out smoothly, she'd be able to get there in time to save Kei.
"I can't believe they're going to kill her. Those idiots. Who the hell do they think they are? When I get there, I'ma beat them to little pulps," the girl grumbled under her breath as she waited for the train, drawing odd looks from those around her. "Think they can ruin my life for months. Years! Years. Always talking to me and bothering me and telling me to get married or give them money or whatever."
The train came within two minutes, and Miki jumped on, tapping her foot impatiently. An elderly woman standing next to her shot her an annoyed look.
Oh, I'm sorry if I've ruined your life by tapping my foot, Miki thought sarcastically. I'm just going to save my co-worker's life. Don't pay attention to me.
On the outside, she ignored the woman and kept on tapping.
"Sakanaya station. Sakanaya station," the conductor announced.
Miki was off as soon as the doors had opened enough for her to squeeze through sideways. She careened up the stairs, pushing men, women, toddlers, yakuza, and elderly men aside without consideration of their feelings. Once she reached the only exit of the small station, she barrelled out, jumping over the ticket gate since stopping to put her ticket into the machine would take up precious time.
"Hey, excuse me!" the station attendant called out after her. "Come back!"
Miki ignored and ran towards the bar.
"I'll give you my ticket later, you dolt," she muttered.
She caught sight of the bar. Eri's camera crew didn't seem to be around. The entrance was dark, no lights coming from inside. Miki tried the door, and surprisingly, it opened. She would have thought it would be locked for the sacrifice. The main seating area was dark. She crept through quickly, chills running down her back. An innocent girl was about to be murdered by her own co-workers.
"Don't think about it. Just stop it," she willed herself in a whisper.
She walked by the storage closet that Eri had opened up earlier, and on second thought, she stopped and backed up. She reached out and opened the closet carefully, expecting to see Yui in rags.
Instead, she saw nothing but preserved food, rice, and beer bottles.
"She must've joined the others," Miki concluded aloud.
She closed the door and kept walking to the back room where she knew she'd catch the group of wild girls. Before entering, she grabbed the only weapon she could find - a salt shaker and a fistful of disposable chopsticks. She then took a deep breath and yanked the door open, crying out.
"Ruwaaa! Get away from her!!"
She jumped in, waving her makeshift weapons around and was greeted by three shocked pairs of eyes. An old man with a bald head and wearing work gloves, a middle-aged woman wearing an apron and a handkerchief on her head, and a little boy not more than ten years old all studied Miki. They were seated on stools and discussing something over a folder full of papers that looked like bills.
Everyone held their position for ten seconds. Nobody dared move or say a thing until the child spoke.
"Mommy, look at the crazy lady."
This broke the ice.
"Who are you? What do you think you're doing here?" the woman asked, her kind appearance belying her sharp tongue.
"I... came to... save... Yasuda-san..." Miki said weakly.
"Who?" the elderly man asked, cleaning out his ear with the tip of his finger and squinting.
"I- this place... it-it was just on the news. There was a girls- a gang- a gang of girls. And th-they were going to kill... someone..."
The man and the woman looked around the quiet room that Miki had seen full of crazy people not fifteen minute ago.
"You must have the wrong place," the woman said acerbically, pointing to the door. "Get out."
Deflated, Miki turned around and walked to the door, getting the message.
"Come here like that again and we'll call the police," the woman threatened her.
"Yes, m'am," Miki said, utterly defeated.
Where were the girls? Where was Kei? Had they moved locations? This was definitely the right place. Everything down to the storage closet was exactly as how she'd seen it on the television.
Miki left the bar. Once she got up to the street, she was lost. She didn't know where to go, what to do, and who to talk to. She suspected that nobody would ever believe her story of Rika and Eri appearing on television for their own little psychotic news flash story. To her, it felt like she was all alone in a crowded room. The only thing that would make her feel less helpless would be if she wasn't in a crowded room.
She had no time to think of her plan. It just seemed to come to her as if divinely inspired.
She reached her hand out and grabbed the wrist of an unsuspecting man passing by. She didn't even look at his face.
"Excuse me, but would you please go on a date with me?" she asked.
The man - he looked to be a youngish thirty - took one look at her and nodded.
"Yu-huh."
"Good," Miki said, linking her arm around the man's. "You drive?"
"Uh huh," the salivating gentleman nodded vigorously.
"Good. Take me to... hmmm... What's near here?"
"Urhuhuhuoo," the man grunted, shrugging his shoulders to indicate he didn't know.
"How cute. You speak Neanderthal," she said with a fake smile.
The man beamed.
"All right, then. Take me to Ebisu."
"Yu-huh!"
A few days, pictures, articles, and a whole lot of uproar later, Miki was finally free of the wretched job that had slowly turned her cool mind into a puddle of frazzled nerves. She was free of her more immediate co-workers.
By the way, she still has incidents these days. Sometimes, when the girls see her or she's around the office doing penance for the atrocity of allowing herself to be caught out on a date (a most hideous crime indeed), they get all weird on her, imagining they're other people. This is why she's rarely seen in contact with them. Every time Tsunku, her boss, is about to give her another chance to get back out into the field, she makes sure to go on very visible dates with the man she hired right off the street that day she broke. She pays him in... well, you don't really need to know that. Could be in apples, could be in groceries, could be in Euros. Or perhaps something more untoward. Let's just say that he's happy to be her little lap dog for days in a row.
And that is what happened to her.
The End