Chapter 13: Learn when to hold on and to let go ...
-Kai's POV-I stood up from sitting down on the ground when Yuko pushed me. The pain on my bottom doesn't bother me but what's bothering me the most is the words that Yuko said to me. What does he mean of listening to my heart? And what should I admit? I. .. I can't understand him. I started to walk again at the hallway while having those questions on my head then suddenly, another one pops into my mind when I stopped at the door of our room and look inside through the box shape glass of it.
'If you can take someone away, I, Oshima Yuko can do it too' what was that mean? Taking someone away? Will he. ..... really take Atsuko? But I thought he likes Haruna? ....... Oh damn it! What am I thinking?! Why did I think that he might get Atsuko instead of Haruna? I'm confused! Why am I feeling this way?!"Mr. Takahashi! Come inside! Our class will now start!" Our professor shouted at me that made my thoughts clear on my mind. I really hate her, she doesn't need to shout! Every time I see her, I feel irritated and annoyed. Every time she acts that her subject is one of our majors!
-End of Kai's POV- Kai sat down on his chair beside Haruna without noticing a worried look that the woman is giving to him. He relaxed his back and started to think again on Yuko's words while playing on his pen.
*click click click*
He pressed his pen continuously as his attention caught by Yuko and Atsuko who are giggling silently on the other side of the classroom. They seemed enjoying pinching each other whenever their professor is facing the glass board. Once again, Kai feels the strange feeling in his heart same as Haruna who is secretly watching every move of the blond. Kai keeps on looking at them then suddenly, a shout startles him.
"Mr. Takahashi! Can you repeat what I said?!"
"Ah. hmm.. Mr. Takahashi, Can you repeat what I said?" he repeated awkwardly; he knows that he will just receive another shout from that answer.
"Baka! What I mean is about our lesson for today!" Kai is right; another shout that made his classmates to laugh.
"I'm sorry ma'am. .. I didn't hear what you said" he apologized while looking at his desk.
"How can you hear it if your attention is on Maeda-san instead of me?!"
"Are you jealous ma'am Mochi?"
"Aargh! You midget!!" she blushed. "Okay then, let's have an activity for awhile!"
Kuramochi sensei takes her class list same as her pen. She smirks on her idea before explaining their activity. "Okay, here it is... I'll choose only three pairs for this activity. The random pairs that will be chosen will explain or show us what LOVE means to you..."
'What the?! What is she thinking?! We aren't high school students anymore to do that! And also this is a History class! That is not even related to each other!' Kai said on his mind.
"I'll be fair; I'll choose random students using my pen. ... whoever this pen pointed at, you will be the first pair...." their professor starts scanning the class list using the tip of her pen and right after a few up and downs, her pen stops.
"Owh, congratulations Kai-san. ..." she smirked.
"Oh well, as if you really make it FAIR" he rolled his eyes.
"I really do. ..." she teased. "Okay your partner will be. ..." she closed her eyes then quickly pointed her pen on her class list. To her surprise, the person that she unexpectedly chose is the person that she wants.
"Woah! Everything is going on what I want. It's you Maeda-san!" she announced excitedly.
"WHAAAT?!" both of Kai and Atsuko exclaimed.
"Why? Don't you like each other?" Mochi innocently asked.
"Ma'am, Kai is dating Kojima~" one of the students whispered.
"Owh. I don't know. .. I thought. …… I'm sorry Kojima-san, this is just an activity" she apologized. Haruna just gave an 'it's fine smile' but deep inside, she's hurt.
"Okay, the next pair is. ....." she searches for someone in the class. "Ah! You! Kuu!"
"Eehh?! Why me?! I thought you'll choose fairly!"
"Just do it. I'm the teacher so do what I said.... for you, you can choose your partner"
Kuu looked at Mariko and. ....... they know already what those stares mean.
"Let's have our last pair. ... class, you decide!"
"OSHIMA-SAAAAN!" All of them squealed in chorus.
"Wow! One for all, all for one? Okay then, who will be his partner?" she asked but the class keep their mouths shut. "Eh? What happened? You don't want someone to be with him? hmm... then I'll be the one to choose. ..... Kojima-san!"
"Eeh?! Why her?!" Kai asked.
"Because I want her and that’s final! Go with your partners and start thinking how you will do this activity! I'll be out for awhile"
Mochi walks outside the classroom and once the door shuts, the two pairs look at each other. They don't know how they will talk or approach each other after what happened to them. To stop their awkward staring sessions, Atsuko decided to go at the back part of the room and sat down on a vacant sit. Kai take that as a sign that she wants to start to talk about their activity so he go and take another seat and positioned himself in front of the woman. Haruna avoids Yuko's glares to look at her boyfriend whom she failed to stop on walking towards Atsuko; she really doesn’t like what's happening right now. For her, it's just making their or her situation worst.
She sits down on her chair again and wraps her arms around her body. She totally forgets about their activity now because of the jealousy and worries that she's feeling. Then suddenly, a small figure made Kai's seat move even closer to her and sits on it.
"Care to discuss about our activity?" Yuko smiled at her.
"Yu-Yuu- .... Oshima-san" she stutters.
"What's with that formality? You can still call me Yuuchan. .." Yuko can't help himself on still being nice with Haruna in spite of the pain that he received from her. He missed talking to her, he missed being this close to her, he missed everything on her and by that, it's just making himself to fall even more with her.
"So, what are we going to do now?" the squirrel asked.
"Yuuchan. ..."
"Uhm?"
"I'm sorry. .. I'm sorry again if I didn't tell you about us. I'm really really sorry for hurting you" she said while looking on the other midget's eyes deeply.
Yuko shakes his head. "I understand and I already accept it". It's true that he now understands it but 'accept'? He thinks not.
"Can we bring back what we have before? Can we be friends again?"
"Nyan, we're still friends. .." Okay, that word really strikes his heart. "... and yes we can but not much. Kai might be jealous. Hehe"
Haruna frowned and look on her side.
'I don't think he will. .'"Did I say something wrong?"
"Ah! No, don't mind me. Hehe. Let's start now" she smiled to assure the man but she failed. Yuko knows that there's something bothering with her and he's sure that it's about Kai and Atsuko.
"Oh by the way, Thank you. ."
"For?"
"For forgiving me....."
"No need to say thank you. .... For you, I can forgive you because you're important to me. ." Yuko smiled at her showing his cute dimples. Haruna blushed and thought that the man could be really so sweet and nice to her after the heartbreak that he received from her.
The two started on discussing while the other pair that is located at the back part of the room stay silent and feel shy to start a conversation. Though their chairs are facing each other, their faces are looking on the side to avoid eye contact that will surely make their hearts skip a beat. Kai’s hands are slightly shaking because of being so nervous. He doesn’t know why he’s feeling this way; it’s only Atsuko who’s in front of him. After a few minutes, he took a deep breath and decided to say a word to her to stop the awkward time that they’re sharing.
“Ano ….”
“Ano ….”
Both of them said and look at each other at the same time. The heat quickly rose up to their cheeks while their hearts are skipping hundred times per second. Their eyes locked like they can’t free themselves on it, like they are glued, like. ... like. ..... like they really miss having this kind of stares.
"You go first. .." Kai said; finally managed to avoid on looking deeply on Atsuko.
"No, you go first. .." Atsuko insisted.
"Ano. ..." though Kai wanted to start discussing about their activity, he still wants to ask something important first before he could go crazy by thinking of it.
"... Ach- Maeda-san" he corrected himself "... are you mad at me?"
'Isn't that obvious?' Atsuko answered on her mind. "Mad? Why will I be?"
"I don't know. ... Then why you're avoiding me?" the blond asked again but Atsuko remained silent.
".... I know you're mad that’s why you're avoiding me ....” he looks at her hands then grabs it to make the woman look at him again.
“… Atsuko, I’m sorry for not telling you about Haruna and I. Please forgive me …”
“Wh-Why you’re saying sorry ….” She avoids the man’s eyes and removes his possession on her hands. “It-It’s not a big deal for me …. I’m not like Yuko who likes Haruna. I …. I don’t like or even love you so there’s no reason to be angry at. Hehe” she let out a ‘forced laugh’ to hide the hurt that she’s feeling inside. Saying that she doesn’t like ….. no, Love Kai is just making herself suffer more from grief.
Same as Atsuko, Kai also felt like his heart was strike by arrows a hundred times when he heard that the woman doesn't like him. Could that be true? That Atsuko feels nothing for him? But why he's feeling this way? Why it seems that he's expecting that the woman could possibly like him? Again, a lot of questions are popping in into his mind and popping out blank answers.
"Wait. .. Yuko still likes Haruna and not you? But. ..." he suddenly realized something.
'oops~' she remembered their plan.
"I. . ano. .. yes, he still likes Hauna and nothing's change with that so. ....." Atsuko thinks of a word on how she will deny about their plan. "... so I dumped him earlier. I know he will just use me to try if he can forget Haruna but I know he can't do that... so I did it"
Okay, now Yuko can't continue his 'make Kai jealous' plan anymore.
"Hontou?!" Kai asked in disbelief while forming a smile on his lips.
'Why he looks happy about it? Hello Kai, Yuuchan still likes your girlfriend! Could it be. .... no, that's really impossible. I don't want to hope for something more about his feelings towards me'"Why are you smiling?" she asked.
"Ah. Ano. ... nothing, don't mind me"
'What the hell am I doing?! Why do I feel glad about it?! Aargh! I can't understand myself!'"Ano. . Acchan, can I ask you something. .." he said in a serious tone as he look directly on the woman's eyes.
"What is it?" Atsuko asked; a bit confuse why the blond suddenly change into a serious one.
"Can you please. .... stop avoiding me? I. . I'm not used to it. There's something wrong in my day if you're not around" Kai shyly said that made him and Atsuko to blush.
It's true, though he's always with Haruna on their last vacation; it is unexplainable why he wanted to be with Atsuko. Every day, every night he misses her smiles, laugh, voice and everything. It's like his body and presence were only with Haruna but his mind was completely into Atsuko. He didn't know if it's only his mind or also his heart. Atsuko on the other hand became even more confuse on his feelings towards her. She doesn't know what's going on in his mind. She doesn't know if he's just playing with her and making her to fall in love with him even more.
"I. . I'm sorry. I just. ... don't like what you and Haruna did. You should've told us"
"I knew it, you're really mad because of that. That's why I'm saying sorry. Acchan, I'm sorry. ... Don't worry; I'll take care of her"
"Uhn. Take good care of her and don't break her heart" she let out a forced smile, leaving the words
'though it'll just break mine'.Meanwhile outside the room, their professor, Mochi is currently watching at them while holding her phone and talking with the other person on the line.
"Our plan went smoothly and what you said is true, I can also see it"
"Okay sir, I'll wait for your next instruction. I'll also contact- .... yes, so we can discuss about it. Bye"Mochi hanged up her phone with a smirk on her face. As she put her phone inside her pocket, she goes inside the room so they can start their activity or rather continue their plan.
"Okay, let's start. I guess you now know what to do. Let's start with Kuu and Mariko. Please stand up" she instructed.
Kuu stands up but his girlfriend remain on her seat just like what they have planned. He sits on his table then Mariko cups his cheeks and makes his face closer to her.
"Kuu, tell me what is looooove for you..." she said seductively that made her classmates' excitement rose up.
"Marichan, love is. ... love is so. .. " he closes his eyes and open it again before continuing his words, "Marichan……… ♫Love sooo sweet~♫"
"♫Wooo~ oh~ oh~♫" Mariko continued.
"♫Yeah~ yeah~ yeah~♫"
"♫Wooo~ oh oh♫"
"♫YEAAAH~ YEAH~ YEAH~!!♫" Kuu sang the last part with all his might as he closed his eyes and rose up his hands but he ended up receiving pieces of crumpled papers rather than a round of applause.
"Hey! Stop it!” The Gachapin yelled.
“What a lame answer Kuu!! Now go back to your seat before me and your classmates do something on you!”
“That wasn’t lame ….” Kuu pouted as he sits back and put his arms around him without noticing the giggling tall woman beside him.
“Kojima and Oshima-san, it’s your turn ….” Yuko and Haruna stand up after Mochi, their professor called them. They faced on each other while holding their hands and smiling like there’s nothing bad happened between them; like everything’s fine and they don’t care on everyone around them.
“Haruna …” Yuko started.
“Love is …….. YOU. I love you”
“Hahahah! That’s lame Yuko!” Kuu suddenly exclaimed with laughter.
“Shut Up! What you did is lamer than that!” one of the students shouts.
“STOP! Can you please keep quiet?! Let Oshima-san finish!” Mochi intervened.
“Ma’am, for me or rather for us, love is …….” He continued; still having an eye contact between the taller woman in front of him.
“……. Needed to be cherished and put importance on it. You’ll do anything for it even though it will cost your own happiness. You need to learn when to hold on and to let go….” They said in chorus but Haruna ended up saying only the half of it.
She’s now preventing her tears to fall to her lovely cheeks as she doesn’t want her classmates and her professor to worry for her and of course, she doesn’t want to make a scene or another issue that will surely affect her and Kai’s relationship. She bits her lower lip and return back to her seat as she was followed by Yuko. The squirrel knows that she’s facing a problem and heartache and by saying their lines on their activity, it just made her to think more on how to solve her problem with Kai. Can she really solve it by herself? If Kai, her partner doesn’t even know that she’s carrying this burden? Can really a relationship work if it’s only one person making it to work?
The two look to where Atsuko and Kai are. As Haruna’s head turns around, it only took a few seconds for her tears to fall. She buried her face onto Yuko’s collar bone then cried silently. There they are, her boyfriend and her friend laughing and having fun. They seemed like they didn’t listen or even watch what they have done earlier. They look like they are in their own world. Haruna guessed that the two are okay now and maybe this is the time for her to realize the last phrase that they said. “You need to learn when to hold on and to let go …..”
“Next one is Maeda and Kai .. Please-” Mochi was cut off by the university’s bell. “What a lucky midget…. We’ll continue this on the next meeting. You can go now ….”
The students quickly run outside and leave their room. Atsuko and Kai, who are having a conversation, were stopped when the bell rang. Kai was about to go to Haruna but to his surprise, Yuko is currently wiping her tears that made his anger and jealousy rose up. He dashed off and left Atsuko behind to push away the squirrel from his girl.
“What are you doing?!” he shouted.
“Yuko!” Atsuko followed and helped Yuko to stand up from the ground.
“Kai stop! He did nothing!” Haruna stopped the blond.
“Nothing?! Then why are you crying?!”
‘Because of you Baka!’ Yuko answered on his mind.
“I’m .. I’m not crying …. Come on, let’s go home ….” She drags the man away from them as she holds his hand and start taking their way home. The others just look at them worriedly and wondered what really happened and what WILL happen to them.
Kai decided to take Haruna to their home. They take the streets silently; it’s only the blow of the wind and the sounds of the cars passing by can be heard. They’re not even holding each other’s hand which is not usual for them.
“I’ll take my leave now. See you tomorrow ….” Kai said when they arrived in front of Kojima’s residence’s gate. He was about to take a step to leave when Haruna hold his hand.
“Come in first. Mom and Dad aren’t here ….. I don’t want to be alone ….”
Kai blushed on his thoughts, his dirty thoughts. Why would Haruna say something like that? Is she planning something? But this is not the right time for that! The blond shakes his head to clear his thoughts and say,
“Uhn.. Okay~ …”
They head towards the living room and switched on the television to watch some movies. Haruna clings on the blond’s arm and rested her head on his firm shoulder. She’s pretending that everything’s fine as she just wanted to calm herself before she starts a serious conversation. Minutes had passed and they were still in their position while watching a movie. Actually, both of them can’t understand what’s going on with that movie as their minds are focused with different thoughts. Kai is thinking why his girl is acting weird today and also what happened between her and Yuko while Haruna is thinking how she will talk to Kai about them, about their relationship.
“Kai …” she started.
“Uhn?”
“Are you and Atsuko … Okay now?” she asked without looking at him.
“Us? Yes .. We talked a lot earlier ….. I miss talking with her, and she said that
*blah blah blah* and
*blah blah blah*”
Kai continued on talking and telling about what happened between him and Atsuko in a joyful way. He told everything that they had talked about and always saying that he do really miss the woman. He didn’t even notice that it’s only a simple question that Haruna asked to him and yet, he responded very long and not related answers.
“STOP!”Kai was startled when Haruna suddenly shouts. She finally removes herself from the man and faces him with teary eyes. The blond was shocked to see his girl being like this. He’s confused and didn’t know if he said something wrong as all that he’s saying was about Atsuko, his and her friend.
“Are you happy now? Are you happy that your relationship with Atsuko is now okay?” she asked.
“Wh-wha …. Of course…. Why did you asked? Something wrong? Wh-why are you crying?” he asked worriedly.
“Is it hard for you when she’s avoiding you?” she continued on asking questions and not bothering to whatever Kai said.
“Y-Yes … Because she’s my friend and I don’t want someone to avoid me ……. She’s ….. she’s important to me …”
By that ‘without thinking if he will hurt Haruna or not’ answer from Kai, Haruna bursts out her tears. She tried to stop it by quickly wiping but it’s like an endless tears coming from her eyes. Kai was about to grab her hands and ask her but the woman move away from him. He’s completely clueless what’s going on with them. He doesn’t know why his girl is being like this. He doesn’t know if being glad because he and Atsuko are now okay is a bad news for her.
“I .. I can’t understand you …. What’s going on?! I’m completely clueless with your actions. Tell me what’s the problem …” he asked in a panicking tone.
“Problem? The problem is you Kai!! You’re the one that I can’t understand! Why you’re so numb?! You’re hurting me without noticing it!! I’ve been watching all your moves since that day that Atsuko and Yuko known about us! I know everything Kai!”
“Haruna …..” Kai can’t find any words to say.
“I know that your eyes are always with Atsuko! And now, now that you and her are okay, what will happen?! Maybe you’ll treat me just like before! Before they knew everything! Kai, it really hurt for me to hear those answers from you! Tell me ……” she took a deep breath before continuing her words.
“I don’t! I don’t love her!” Kai answered as he knows what Haruna will ask. “Haruna, I’m sorry if all this time, I’m being a fool for not knowing that I’m hurting you …. Haruna, believe me …. I love you ….” He continued and managed to hold the woman’s hands tightly but hearing those words from him doesn’t change Haruna’s decision. Though it really hurts for her, she really needs to do it for Kai. For him to know what he really feels.
She stood up and took steps forward. Her back is now facing the blond. “This is hard for me but I guess …… Kai, we need a break. You need a break ….. Think carefully about your feelings”
“W-wait… What do you mean?! Break?! I don’t need it! Haruna, please don’t do this! I love you!” he hugged the taller woman from the back.
“I .. I can’t feel it Kai ….. Please, respect my decision. It’s for you …… listen to your heart first before saying those three important words….”
“But Haruna ….”
“No buts …. Please, leave now before my parents see us in this kind of situation …..”
“I don’t want to! Haruna, don’t do this to me!” tears fall down on the midget’s cheeks.
“PLEASE KAI! LEAVE NOW!”She faced the man and holds his wrist then drags him out of her house. Though the blond is struggling, she still managed to push him outside. She didn’t want to do it but she needed to before her decision will change. She can still hear the loud knocks from the door as she rested her back on it while slowly making herself fall on the ground. Her tears are continuously falling on her cheeks same as her heart which is continuously breaking into pieces.
It’s almost 30 minutes had passed when the knocks and shouts from Kai ended. Haruna thinks that he might felt tired and decided to go home so she stood up weakly and head towards her room. Instead of resting herself onto the bed, she quickly goes into the near sink when she felt that she needs to puke. She continued on retching for a few seconds and when it stopped, she looks at the mirror and feel worry and nervous for herself.
“It can’t be …..” She said to herself.
TBC ..
I don't know what I wrote here
I just let my hand typed these
and also, sorry for the lame 'what is love' activity .. LOL
I just based it on what happened to our class... how we ended up having those answers ..
specially the
Love so sweet thing
Topic: 「Theater Rivals」Rivalry Between The WMidget - Chapter 16 [FINISHED] (Read 102940 times)