Friday's Children are Full of Woe (a continuing story)

[JFC]

Remember, she's also very confused and doesn't know what she wants.  Well, deep down inside she does, but she's terrified to admit it.

Heh, I do believe that I sorta said that. Maybe not specifically, but something around that general vibe. 


DAMN IT MIKI TELL HER ALREADY!!! YOU WANT TO TELL HER!!! SHE WANTS TO KNOW!!! 

[Amarghetta]

Self control?  What self control?  Apparently I'm (unintentionally) the biggest liar.

Lol! That's why I was surprised, actually. It seems that you, like many of my author friends, cannot keep your word when it comes to wrapping up a fic...

[magicnumber]

... damnit JFC keeps stealing what I want to say

But anyway, I was taking a break from What Needed To Be Done when I noticed this! You promised it would be short, so well, I was hoping for fluff. Oh how wrong I was~ more torment! :3

I never thought I'd like Keita, but the way you wrote his pov I could see how mature he really was (more so than either of the girls). Especially in stopping with Aya and asking what was wrong, I respected him for that. Although I should probably hate you for it ... now I want to re-read the Love x series~

[edhead999]

Wow in the last chapter, I feel as if I'm siding with Miki AND Keita... is that possible? I don't want to call Aya a bitch... but she's starting to get there...

This may sound evil, but I hope you don't turn this into pure fluff soon... I kind of want Aya to go through a breakdown, kind of like a just-desserts for the stuff she's putting Miki and Keita through. x.x Am I messed up for thinking like this? Hopefully not.

Then again, if you add in the crap that happens to Aya throughout your series and then in What Needed to Be Done, it kind of makes her not as bitchy.

Anyway, regardless of how you decide to plan out the story, it'll probably be good... but I still want a bunch of fluff!

[Mikan]

Its common for authors to take details from their own world and place them into the story...
*looks at kitchen table...curry...ice cream cones...tissues....stuffed rabbit on the bed...*
I cant help but wonder.....where did the glacier idea come from


Is there hints in here for What needed to be done or am I reading too deep and too desperately...

[OTN1]

Sorry, that last chapter was riddled with typos.  Kind of embarrassing.  I make really careless ones.  I'm a messy typer.

Wow... edhead999, you're so sadistic.   Wanting to see Aya go through a breakdown when the poor darling is driving herself crazy a few years down the future in my other story.

I'm just joking.  Don't worry about the fluff.  There are still a few more chapters to go before everything's peachy.

Speaking of which, if I have time later tonight, I'll type up (and proofread (properly)) what I wrote today.  If not, expect it some other day.

edited to add:
No, this part has nothing to do with WNTBD.  I'm not dropping any hints (although I did make a reference in WNTBD to something that happened in a chapter I just wrote.  Hahaha!)
And: I like glaciers.

[ChiruChaCha]

It's true that Keita is a gentleman, and actually it's a pity(hmmmmm, well maybe not xD) that he can't express his thoughts more easily couse I think that if he could, Aya would hate him(figuratedly) a lot less, since he actually does think some coherent things. Funny that he's the dumbest of the 3, and yet the only one who is interpreting the situation right(or almost right).

Btw, are you gonna keep writing this story until connecting it with that other fic(well, not really fic, it was still part of Love x 2 but you started a new thread for it) you posted on the perv that happened right before the first Love x 2 chapter? The one where Miki starts planning that thing (I don't wanna give too much detail in case someone hasn't read it yet and wants to keep the surprise factor).

I heard the Hafanana song and I admit it, it's somewhat catchy xD

[OTN1]

Bingo.  We have a winner.  Yes, ChiruChaCha. It's my intention to lead this story into that one and then continue with Miki's POV until The Confession [dramatic music here].

Armageddon

4.1

April 29th.  Showa Day.  It was a national holiday, and, therefore, a day of no work.

Miki walked down the street, a DVD in her hand.  She was heading to Aya's place for a make up movie day.  This time, Aya had promised not to forget.  They were going to watch the same movie they'd meant to watch last time when Miki had walked in on Aya and Keita in the bedroom.

Miki arrived at the entrance to the apartment building and reached out a hand to open the door.  When she did so, she noticed someone beside her mirroring her action.

They slowly look at each other.

"What the hell are you doing here??" Miki asked Keita.

"Right back at you," he said with a cool blink.

They stood there staring at each other for a moment.

"I'm going to see Aya," Keita finally said.

"I'm going to see Aya."

"I won't be long," Keita sighed.

"I don't care," Miki snapped.

Keita rubbed his head and looked pained.

"Why do you hate me so much?  I'm only trying to make her happy, not hurt her."

"She doesn't need you to make her happy," Miki burst out angrily.  "She's perfectly happy without you."

"You mean with you," Keita pointed out quickly, which caused Miki to flare up again.

"Shut up.  Just stay away from her."

"Why?" Keita demanded, becoming incensed.  "She's my girlfriend."

Miki's glower deepened.

"Yeah, that's right.  My.  Girlfriend," he repeated.  "Not yours."

"I didn't say she was mine.  I don't want her," Miki insisted.

"Then why are you getting so riled up 'cause of me?  What did I do to make you hate me so much?"

"Just... Just stay away from her.  She doesn't love you."

Miki turned on her heels to leave.

"Yeah, well, she doesn't love you either.  Or at least I don't see how she could."

Miki's hands tightened into fists, but she didn't turn around.  She walked away quickly.

Keita looked at the building, let out an exasperated puff of air, and also left without seeing Aya.

Up in her apartment, oblivious to what was going on nine floors below, Aya sat and wondered why her company was late.

[OTN1]

4.2

I've pushed what happened last weekend out of my head.  Being ditched again because of Tachibana didn't feel good, but the funny thing about love is that even when you're pushed away, you always come crawling back for more.  That's the painful, pathetic side of love.  It makes you weak.  It makes you stupid.  I love it all the same.

This time, we're going to try again.  Aya's promised me that she won't forget our movie day and that the whole day and night will be just for me.  No Tachibana invited.

Actually, something's happened between them.  I'm pretty sure.  But I'm not quite sure what.  Aya refuses to talk to me about what happened between them last weekend.  She avoided me at the studio during breaks in our respective rehearsals the next day.  When we finally did have time to sit and talk for longer than ten minutes, she seemed agitated about something.  Distracted.  I even asked about The Boyfriend, but she seemed uncomfortable talking about him and quickly (and oh so skilfully) changed the subject.  Therefore, I've been killing myself with worry.  I dread to find out what happened between them, but I also desperately want to know.

I push these thoughts out of my mind.  Movie day with Aya.  This time it's going to work.

I approach the front door of the building to open it when I see someone doing the same thing.  A guy's hand is in line with mine, both of us reaching for the door.  I stop and look sideways.

Instant disappointment.

Tachibana.  Here he is at Aya's apartment, no doubt there to meet her.  I feel the familiar anger well up in me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask, hoping my disapproval shows through loudly and clearly.

"Right back at you," he shoots back in his nasal voice.

I hate his voice.  It's higher than mine and way more nasal.  Way more.  People who make fun of my voice have obviously not talked to Tachibana.

We have a face off.  I refuse to answer his question.

"I'm going to see Aya," he says finally.

My muscles tighten, and I grip the DVD in my hand.

Not again.  Aya invited me over.  She promised not to forget.  What kind of friend makes the same mistake over and over again?

"I'm going to see Aya," I say viciously.

Get out of here, my tone says.  This is my time with her.

The boy sighs, but his sensitive act doesn't fool me.

"I won't be long," he claims.

Great.  So he's here for a short time.  Get in, get in, and leave as quickly as he came.  I guess that's what Aya's called him here for.

No.

He probably called her up desperately and begged her for it.  Asked for ten minutes of her time.

I check him out from head to toe.

Nah, five minutes.  That's all it'd take.

I don't want him to go to see Aya.  I don't want to think of them together.  It's not fair.

It's not fair.

"I don't care," I tell him expressionlessly, keeping my thoughts under lock and key.

He rubs his head and looks pained.

"Why do you hate me so much?" he whines.  "I'm only trying to make her happy."

I react to his words instantly with a burst of anger.

"She doesn't need you to make her happy!"

She doesn't.  I know she doesn't.  It's true.  It has to be true...

"She's perfectly happy without you," I finish.

Right?

She doesn't need him, right?

"You mean with you," Tachibana says quickly.

This strikes a nerve deep inside me.  How dare he say that?  How dare he... ug.  Just- how dare he??

"Shut up.  Just stay away from her," I threaten him.

It ticks him off.

Spineless freak is trying to grow a backbone, eh?

"Why?  She's my girlfriend."

My glower deepens, and the rage starts to surface uncontrollably.  I think he notices it because he mocks me with his next words.

"Yeah, that's right.  My.  Girlfriend.  Not yours."

You fucking bastard.  Say that again and I'll break your pretty nose.

"I didn't say she was mine," I growl, on the defensive.  "I don't want her."

I spit my words out, but I don't mean them.  I just can't let him know how deeply this hurts me.  If he finds out, he'll win.  He'll smile that stupidly gleeful smile of his and make off like a weasel to go and sleep with Aya as much as possible just to show that he can have what I want and can't have.

"Then why are you getting so riled up 'cause of me?" he demands.  "What did I do to make you hate me so much?"

You existed! I think.  You took her away from me!

"Just..." I falter and try to sound authoritative.  "Just stay away from her.  She doesn't love you."

She doesn't.  She can't.  Right?

I turn around and face away from him.

I've never felt so unsure before.

I mean, what do I know about her?  She doesn't talk to me about him, so I assume that she doesn't like him.

But what if she really does?  What if she does, but she doesn't want to tell me because she's noticed how much I'm in love with her.

Am I that obvious? I wonder in horror.

Maybe that's why she keeps inviting Tachibana over when she and I are supposed to spend time together.  Maybe it's her way of telling me she's not interested.  She doesn't want to embarrass me by speaking to me about it, so she orchestrates all these incidents.  These "chance encounters."

What's going on?  Could she really be that crafty?

Damnit.

I feel like I'm going to cry again.

No.  Hold it in.  Don't you dare cry.  Don't you dare.

I can't stay here.  Aya doesn't want me here.  That much has been made clear by her invitation to Tachibana.

He stoops to a new low in response to what I've just said, and he speaks the last words I want to hear.

"Yeah, well, she doesn't love you either.  Or at least I don't see how she could."

I ball my hands up into fists and resist the urge to turn around and hurt him.  Knee him in the gut or shove him to the ground.

Instead of choosing the path of violence, I walk away.  Quickly.  I squeeze the DVD in my hand, hearing the distinct sound of the plastic case cracking.  My hand hurts from the pressure, and the broken edges now poke into my skin uncomfortably.  I focus on the pain and shut my eyes as I walk.  I don't want to see or hear him go into that building.

He's won.

Now he can go gloat.  He can go do whatever he wants with her.  Have her any way he wants.  She can ask him to "make her happy" because that's obviously what she wants.

Message received loud and clear, Aya.

[OTN1]

4.3

I have to go and talk to Aya.  She hasn't returned my phone calls, and her e-mails have been brusque.  Not warm at all.  I'm walking to her apartment now so that we can talk face-to-face.  I don't like going over uninvited, but I have little choice, and this is very important.

What do I want to talk about?

Us.

It's pretty much over.  Last weekend was the big deciding factor.  Two days after it happened, she called and apologised tersely.  She didn't explain herself.  She just told me that she's been in a weird space lately and that she made some bad judgement calls.  I've tried inviting her out for dinner three times this week, but each time, she claims work as her reason for not being able to join me.  I've foolishly believed all week that if we can meet and talk and get things out in the open, we can start over.

Unfortunately, I no longer think there's any repairing this relationship.  I think she's full of doubts.  I don't know the cause of the doubts, and I might never know.  She doesn't talk to me like she talks to her best friend.  It hurts.

I reach her apartment, practising what I'm going to say to her when I see her.  I don't want to be the one to dump her.  It seems too cruel.  I want us to talk it out like civilised human beings and reach a conclusion together.  Let it be our last act as a couple.  An amicable break-up.

I reach out to open the front door of the building, but the presence of another person doing the same thing comes to my attention.

I look, and my heart sinks.  It's that "best friend" of Aya's.  Miki.  I can imagine this is not going to go well.

"What the hell are you doing here??"

I'm fine, thanks.  You? I think sarcastically.

"Right back at you," I say, keeping my cool.

I refuse to stoop to her level.  This girl has it in for me, so I don't want to give her the satisfaction of losing it.

She stands there staring at me, trying to intimidate me.  As if some girl a head shorter than me could scare me.

Okay, I'm lying.  It works.  I'm scared.  She's got some powerful glare.

"I'm going to see Aya," I say, wishing to avoid any more awkwardness.

"I'm going to see Aya," she says possessively.

Oh great, I think.  Now she's going to think that I'm trying to crash their little holiday get-together plans.  That's the last thing I want to do.  I just want to clear the air between me and Aya so that we can get our lives back on track.

"I won't be long," I sigh.

I have a feeling that once I get up there, Aya will be forced to talk to me and want to get it over with quickly.  Then Miki can have her for the rest of the day.  The rest of her life, if she wants.

"I don't care," Miki snaps.

She's such a liar that it's embarrassing.  I rub my head, feeling pained.

"Why do you hate me so much?" I ask her, suddenly feeling like talking to this girl.

If I'm going to go up and be all open with Aya, I may as well start down here and get this girl to talk to me.  She has a problem with me and I want to know what it is before I go any further.  She might say something important.  Something I need to know about myself that I don't notice.

"I'm only trying to make her happy, not hurt her," I assure her.

"She doesn't need you to make her happy.  She's perfectly happy without you."

What is she talking about?  Has Aya told her that?  Or is this another one of her insults to me?

Perfectly happy without me?  I think Miki's trying to say she thinks Aya is perfectly happy with her.

She's jealous, plain and simple.  Here I come, taking up a bit of Aya's time, and suddenly The Best Friend isn't invited over so often.  Aya should choose her friends more wisely, though, because Miki is acting like she's twelve, not twenty.

"You mean with you," I tell her.

I don't expect her to praise my wit or anything, but her response is exceedingly ferocious.

"Shut up.  Just stay away from her."

Oh, that pisses me off.

"Why?" I demand angrily.  "She's my girlfriend."

And when I say those words - "she's my girlfriend" - Miki scowls at me even more.

What the hell is going on with her?  Is she in love with her best friend or something?  That's ridiculous.

If I had to guess, I'd say she's mentally unbalanced.  One of those possessive types.  Doesn't like her friends to have other friends because she needs all the attention.

I no longer feel the need to walk on eggshells around her.  It's time for some payback for these months of being snubbed.

"Yeah, that's right.  My.  Girlfriend.  Not yours," I remind her.

I know that gets to her.  I can see it in her eyes.

"I didn't say she was mine.  I don't want her," she says to me in an uncaring voice.

Again she lies.  Is this girl pathetic or what?

"Then why are you getting so riled up 'cause of me?  What did I do to make you hate me so much?"

I really want to know if she has a good answer.

"Just... Just stay away from her.  She doesn't love you," she falters for a moment before hardening again.

I know she has an answer to my question, but she just can't say it.  She can't say, "Tachibana, I'm jealous of you.  It's stupid to hate you because of that, but I do."  She'll be admitting to being a fool if she says that.

She turns around to leave.  Maybe she's going to cry.  I don't care.  I want to take another stab at her.  Something to show her that I'm not going to stand here and take crap like that from her.  Aya's still my girlfriend, and whether or not Miki likes that, she should respect her friend's choices.

"Yeah, well, she doesn't love you either," I call out to her.  "Or at least I don't see how she could."

I see her become incredibly tense, and for a moment, I swear she's going to turn around and pummel me.

I breathe out a bit in exasperation and a bit in relief when she walks away silently.  She's let me have the last word.  She's let me win.

But doesn't she realise I'm not a winner here?  Didn't Aya tell her about the disaster last weekend?  Can't she see the truth?  That yes, Aya really doesn't love me?  That she doesn't even like me much?  And why does Miki act like some sort of jealous ex-boyfriend?  What is she thinking?  What does she think she is to Aya?

I lose my desire to talk to anyone.  I turn away from the door and head back home.

Honestly, I don't care to know anything more about Miki, and Aya, and about their friendship.  I've had it with these girls.  I'm not getting mixed up in it anymore.  They've been friends far longer than I've known Aya, so I'd better leave and let them either fix what's screwy in their friendship, or let it remain broken forever.

Either way, I'm out.

[Kei-Br]

4.3


She stands there staring at me, trying to intimidate me.  As if some girl a head shorter than me could scare me.

Okay, I'm lying.  It works.  I'm scared.  She's got some powerful glare.

i can really picture that scene xDDD
there will be Aya POV?

[edhead999]

Man... and Keita was getting so nice... now he's back to an asshole =\.

Wow... edhead999, you're so sadistic.   Wanting to see Aya go through a breakdown when the poor darling is driving herself crazy a few years down the future in my other story.

Lol yeah my friends tell me I'm a sadistic person >:]. I think I saw the reference! It was in Miki's PoV right? Anyway, thanks for another good chapter!

[Amarghetta]

Just when I was starting to like Keita (not that I ever disliked him!)... I don't much to say about Aya, except that calling her a bitch would make me a hypocrite, lol. And well, just for that, I guess I won't complain about her making Miki miserable. :p

[len.chan]

the good thing about this (or bad.. all depends ) is that we already know that Aya and Miki will end together and madly in love with each other (trying to forget the fact that OTN1 killed Aya in one reality and Miki in the other one XDD)
I love to see what's going on in Miki and Aya's mind when all started. And about Keita.. I don't know if hate the boy or feel sorry for him.. after all Aya's just using him to try to deny what she really feels..
And poor Aya too.. Keita ruined her plans with Miki again and she doesn't even know it XDD

[JFC]

This may sound evil, but I hope you don't turn this into pure fluff soon

...

Anyway, regardless of how you decide to plan out the story, it'll probably be good... but I still want a bunch of fluff!

Don't worry about the fluff.  There are still a few more chapters to go before everything's peachy.

How about we leave the fluff until the next new story?

Btw, are you gonna keep writing this story until connecting it with that other fic(well, not really fic, it was still part of Love x 2 but you started a new thread for it) you posted on the perv that happened right before the first Love x 2 chapter? The one where Miki starts planning that thing (I don't wanna give too much detail in case someone hasn't read it yet and wants to keep the surprise factor).

I was actually thinking the same thing when I read yesterday's chapter (the bedroom incident). As soon as I read the part from Miki's POV where she had her "epiphany", I instantly thought this would/could be a good lead-up to Love x 2.

It's true that Keita is a gentleman, and actually it's a pity(hmmmmm, well maybe not xD) that he can't express his thoughts more easily couse I think that if he could, Aya would hate him(figuratedly) a lot less, since he actually does think some coherent things. Funny that he's the dumbest of the 3, and yet the only one who is interpreting the situation right(or almost right).

Well, between the three of them, he's probably the most objective right now, plus he seems to be the only one who has known right from the beginning how he felt (Miki only realized recently, and Aya's still not sure of herself).


Now for this chapter, I'm actually impressed that he stood up to Miki like that. He suspects that she and Aya find him dull (as well as other things about their relationship), and in some ways, he's like us, in that he's just trying to get answers and that if there is something that the girls are not admitting, he wants them to do so.  It's a stupid guy thing, we like seeing all the cards on the table.

With that being said, dude, glad to see you haven't given up on your Keita-bashing.

He probably called her up desperately and begged her for it.  Asked for ten minutes of her time.

I check him out from head to toe.

Nah, five minutes.  That's all it'd take.

[DO Me DO Me]

this is why things go wrong in a drama, everyone's misunderstanding each other. if everyone just says what they need to say then all this stuff could've been avoided. but then we'd have no story either so

By the time you get through this Love x 2 saga you'd have this really thick book.

[shindoushiz]

aw man, Aya better buy a clue soon. Both Keita and Miki know what they want, Miki in a more secretive way.lol

I love how there's that burning passion within Miki when Keita says Aya's his gf not Miki's. This would be a great drama show.

Eventhough this latest chapter was full of anger, when I'm writing this reply all I could think about was this video of when Aya told the audience that Miki is so cute and how much Miki likes her during a concert<?> she was doing. Hehe, somewhat egotistical sounding but it's true and I bet Miki didn't mind.

[OTN1]

I think I saw the reference! It was in Miki's PoV right? Anyway, thanks for another good chapter!

You're welcome and thank you for reading another chapter!

The reference isn't really major.
FYI: Chapter 18 of WNTBD:

I know for a fact that the desperation I'm feeling is because I'm just that - desperate.  Desperate for her to be alive again and pushing myself onto other people to help me lose myself and forget that this terrible thing is happening.  I've done it at least once before.  Thrown myself at someone because of Miki.

So Aya clinging onto Keita is that other time she threw herself at someone because of Miki, this time not to forget about Miki's death, but to try and deny what she feels for Miki.  Ultimately, everything is Miki's fault!  Hahahaha.
 

this is why things go wrong in a drama, everyone's misunderstanding each other. if everyone just says what they need to say then all this stuff could've been avoided. but then we'd have no story either so

Miscommunication is the most painful thing to watch.  I hate it, so I can't believe I'm writing about it.

By the time you get through this Love x 2 saga you'd have this really thick book.

Over 300 pages.  Not something to print out, really.  Hahah.  It's pretty sad.  I've spent all these words writing out the same story over and over from different points of view.  Aren't you all sick of it yet?

JFC, there's always a little more room for "Keita bashing."  Although he did get back at Miki by calling her pathetic (in his thoughts)...

And yes, an Aya POV is in the works.

Thanks again, guys.

[OTN1]

4.4

I'm not a starving child in a developing country, and I don't have cancer.  I don't live in a shack or sniff glue or own a water pump, and I don't know the difference between malaria, yellow fever, and typhoid, although I'm sure they're all very painful.

I live in a nice area of the city, not a slum.  I get a good salary every month and good benefits, no question about it.  And I do indulge myself on my days off, not go to work.  I can proudly walk down the street and know that I entertain millions.  I believe in hard work, not slacking, honesty, not mistrust, and that Hello! Project is an honourable group to work with.

I have good friends, I have loving parents, and I do get out of the house.  Not stay in out of fear.  I do get out.

I am one of the top idols of Japan, I'm dating one of the most popular boys in the country, and I'm the front girl of Hello! Project.

My name is Matsuura Aya, and I am...

Confused.

I should be so happy right now, but I'm not.  I'm miserable.  Why is it that I have all these good things, yet I feel like I have nothing?  Like I don't have what I want.  I'd trade all my money and my status for that one thing to complete my life, but I don't even know what that is.  I guess I'll never know.  Or maybe in twenty years I'll know.

I sigh.

Things have changed in the past week.  After Keita stopped me from ripping his pants off - something that I still can't believe - I was furious.  Furious with myself.  I realised what a big mistake I had almost made, but I couldn't (and still haven't been able to) really talk to him about it.

He's been trying to get in touch with me all week, but I've been ignoring his calls, sending him quick e-mails telling him I can't go to dinner with him because of rehearsal and so on.  I did call to apologise, but the minute he answered the phone, I felt so embarrassed about what I'd done that I kind of mumbled "sorry" to him, told him I was feeling weird lately, and then hung up.  It's the crappiest apology I've ever made, but I haven't been able to pick up the phone and talk to him again because I'm still ashamed.

I really was in a weird space.  I felt like being with him like that would help me lose myself.  I was wrong, of course, and for the first time since I've known Keita, I think he was right.  He was right to stop me.  Noble, even.  If I wasn't feeling so confused, I'd probably be head over heels in love with him for being so kind and thoughtful.

But I can't be in love with him.  I just can't.  There's this mysterious force that makes it impossible, even though I really want it to be. 

I really want to be in love with him, because if I am, I don't have to question my feelings ever again.  I can know for sure that what I want and what I have are the same thing.

Instead, here I am with no clue.  Well, I do have a clue.  What I know is that if I let him go, I'll start to feel other things that I don't want to face.

I look at my watch.  Miki's really late.  She's supposed to come over for another movie day.  We're going to retry it.  I've promised her that the whole day is for her.  The whole night, too, if she wants.  We have to work tomorrow, though, so she shouldn't stay over too late.  Not that I'd mind.  It's nice to have the company.  Especially if it's her.

Out of all the things I did last weekend, I feel the worst about what I did to her.

Which is weird, right?  One would think I did the most wrong to Keita. 

But no, Miki's the one that deserves my sincerest apologies.  I had a fantastic day with her and then ended it abruptly by kicking her out, lying to her that Keita was coming over, and then calling him up in order to sleep with him in the attempt to drown out something I didn't (and still don't) understand.

I shouldn't have thrown her out.  I should have calmed down and not let myself get so worked up over something trivial.  Not that it feels trivial.  It feels big.  But if I don't get it, I shouldn't stress over it.

Anyway, she's my most important friend.  I treated her like an acquaintance.

I wonder why she keeps coming back to me.  If I were her, I'd be fed up with getting treated the way I've been treating her the past few weeks.  I guess she really believes in me.  She sees me as someone who can do no wrong.  I would love to tell her that I'm not perfect.  I'd love to tell her that those good things she thinks about me aren't all quite true.

But if I did, I'd be minus a best friend.  I would jump off the tallest skyscraper in the world to prevent that from happening.  I would swim to the bottom of the ocean and do battle with a giant killer squid.  I'd leap one hundred metres in the air and jump over buildings to keep her as my friend.

These thoughts are starting to sound suspiciously familiar.

Love is love, I hear Miki's voice in my head, and I stand up instantly, desperate to get the voice out of my head.

I need a distraction.

I check my watch again.  Only three minutes have passed since I last checked.

I look out my window in the hopes of seeing her, but of course it's futile.  My apartment faces the back entrance of the building.  Nobody but the custodial staff uses the back entrance.

Come on, Miki.  Hurry up.  I want to see you.

Half an hour passes.  She told me she'd be here around one o'clock.  It's now ten past two.

I e-mail her.  No reply comes.  Ten minutes later, I call, but she doesn't pick up.  I leave a quick message.

An hour passes by.

She's not coming, I realise.  She's not coming.  She's probably mad at me about something.  Or maybe she thinks I'm going to screw her over again and kick her out or invite Keita over.

But I won't.  Never again!  I've promised her.

Incidentally, I'm going to break up with Keita.  She won't have to worry about me ditching her for him ever again.

I turn on the TV and drown my thoughts out with daytime dramas.

My name is Matsuura Aya, and I am still confused.

[ChiruChaCha]

I don't know why but I always imagine Aya's mind as if she had some kind of mental firewall that stops her from getting to the obvious conclusion about her feelings, it's quite a nerdy comparison even though I know very little about computers xD