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Author Topic: kawaii-beam's not so very wonderful box of wonders~[Let’s have.]12-23-13  (Read 62472 times)

Offline rndmnwierd

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Re: kawaii-beam's not so very wonderful box of wonders~[Butterfly]
« Reply #20 on: November 28, 2009, 09:43:38 AM »
Nice and a little sad.

Offline kRisZ

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Re: kawaii-beam's not so very wonderful box of wonders~[Butterfly]
« Reply #21 on: November 28, 2009, 11:46:50 AM »
Aww Sayu

Offline kawaii beam

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Re: kawaii-beam's not so very wonderful box of wonders~[Butterfly]
« Reply #22 on: December 06, 2009, 02:51:43 AM »


rndy-thanks and i think i'm into writing emo oneshots lately XDD the one after this one is so sad XD idk XD

kRisZ -poor sakupink >.< she's like the friend that that cant get any ne?...hopefuly that sounded right XD

so this one was made just before school started and it was a certian somes's pov to a story that GM (GoodMorning) on H!O had's is 1trillion times better than mine and the link to her's is at the bottom of this post XD

The Flashes of Lightning

I hate the rain.

Not only is it cold,damp,and makes everything humid,but it can clearly change the mood of the day instantly. In some ways it can bring people together,but at the same time keep them apart. It's good trate is that it's steady rythm can put anything and anyone to sleep. In a way it's like Mother Nature's verson of a lulaby,when it's calm.But when the rain's pouring down and thunder and lightning get into the mix,It's less of lulaby and more of a nightmare.

Thunderstorms were always one of my week points. Ever since I've been little, the loud claps of thunder and the flashes of lightning,has always kept me up when I'm alone;but lately I've been able to sleep through them.

After coming back from the concert, I took a very nice calming bath and snuggled myself into the ever so welcoming hotel sheets. After watching some late variety shows and dramas, I quickly fell into dream land with the calming rain pitter-pattering in the backround.

That's when I heard it....the thunder.And right after it was that darn lightning. I quickly got out of my bed and ran to the closest person that knew me inside and out.


The 14 year old me ran to her in pure fear. I was chubbier back then and my hair was still in it's signature pigtails. I feverently tugged on the sheets that she was so protectively wraped in to wake her up.


I say again clearly scared.

"What's wrong Risa-chan?"

I miss hearing her call me by that name; my real name. I looked directly at the 16 year olds still sleepy and slightly confused eyes,with my fearful ones.

As soon as the lightning flashed, I jumped into her bed and hid myself under the covers waiting for that dreaded noise that was soon to come;the loud boom of the thunder. It echoed in my ears as I flinched from the notorious sound and quickly wraped my arms around her waist, not daring or wanting to let go.

"Don't be afraid Risa,it's just the thunder."

She said so sweetly as she pulled back the sheets to meet my still frightend face. I looked up at her and asked her slightly emberassed and scared.

"Can I stay with you tonight?"

She smiled at me and brushed back the strands of hair that escaped through the hair ties of my pigtailes and stroked my chubby cheeks. She always did when I fall asleep with her.

"Of course. There's a spare bed over there."

I looked at her in complete horror. Was she crazy?! I clearly didnt want to sleep alone, ecpessialy with this type of storm going on. I furrowed my undone eyebrows and pouted in dissapointment at her statement as she giggled to herself. I pout and puff my cheeks and ask her,

"Can I stay right here?"

"Of course."

I smiled big and snuggled up to her. Her soft warm skin comforted me instantly,causing my tensed body to relax even more when she put one of her arms on my waist. Before I knew it I was fast asleep,as the storm quickly faded away into the back of my mind,and I felt the warmth of her lips touch my forehead.

She was always there for me,protecting me from the negativities of the world, and I've alway's been thankful for it. Even when she pushed herself away from me, I've always tried to repay her back with that same kindness as best as I could.

No matter how hard I tried to knock down that invisible wall that she built, it would just get harder and hader to knock it down. Even when I hung out with Eri,Ai-chan was still on my mind. Not that Kame wasnt just as importiant, it was just that throgh all Ai-chan and I've been throgh and done together,she'd alway's be the closest person in my heart.

That's when I heard the door knock. It was somewhat frantic. I slowly woke up from my sleep and looked at the time. It was way to early for someone to be knocking,but I got up and went to the door. I opened it and was slighly surprised to see her right there infront of me.


I asked, trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes. She looked completly out of it,and it was clear that she hadn't been sleeping,and before I knew it she huged me tightly and started crying. Clearly something was going on.

"Woah! Ai, what's wrong?"

"I'm scared."

I gently pushed her hair back and looked at her directly in the eyes. They were evidently drained,and crying out for help. I wraped an arm around her waist and brushed back her wild hair with the other as I assured her.

"There's nothing to be afraid of."

What ever it was that was bothering her,I just knew that I had to protect her from it.

"Can I stay with you for the night?"

I smiled. She sounded like a little kid the way she asked,and I felt as if the roles switched for once.

I pushed the door open gently guiding her into the dark room. We slightly stumbled to the bed,due to the fact that my sleepy-ness wasn't fading off. We fell onto the bed and I wraped my arms around hers to bring her closer. I wanted to be the person to defend her for once.

Eventualy,sleep caught up with me again,and before I knew it, I was out like a light;glad that I could be this close to my Ai-chan again.

And in that drifty-ness of sleep, I felt that usual warmth of her lips, but this time instead of them landing on my forhead, they landed on my lips.That's when I heard the thunder's soft boom,but the flash of lightning never came.

Eventhough I'll never hear her say those 3 special words,I hope that I'll never loose that feeling for it and that she lever loses mine.

I've always hated the rain... but I've always and will forever love Ai-chan

(scroll down and u'll see it XD)
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Offline kuro_808

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nice kawaii TakaGaki ftw

keep up the good work
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Offline lil_hamz

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Ahhh, it's nice to read everything again. I'm glad you decided to post here :)

As Long as I'm with you

I like the teasing between the girls. Always makes me smile knowing how close they are. Awww, TakaGaki is so cute :wub:

A long winter afternoon

XD TakaGaki getting TanaKamei to quit stalling was funny. I would have thought it was the other way around though since the leader and subleader duo was always so proper. But when you write it this way it's so much better :)

Miracle Girl

I wanna think SayuKoha too :heart:


Ooh ooh!! I love the poster. For some reason I can really see Eri being the beautiful and graceful butterfly that Sayumi admires so much.

Kamei Eri, you'll always be my....



This made me  :cry: It's so touching~~~! *hides in a corner to weep*

The Flashes of Lightning

It's funny that although Ai is the one with the manly scream XD She is still believable as the person Risa will go to when she's scared. Maybe it's just the TakaGaki fangirl in me speaking :P

Offline rndmnwierd

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Haha! I read this at H!O. I like both versions.

Offline kRisZ

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 :nya:    :wriggly:    :luvluv1:

Offline kawaii beam

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kurosawa-thanks X3 my takagaki love will never die XD

lil_hamz-thanks X3 i'm glad u like my simple works^^;
As Long as I'm with you
lol teasing is fun XD and i can never grow old of takagaki
A long winter afternoon
lol i broke the proper barrier? XDDD
Miracle Girl
u too? XDD
thankies X3
o.o it made u cry?!!?!? USO! get out of that corner!!!
The Flashes of Lightning
lol idk i guess ai was just used to it XD and yes let the takagaki fangirl speak~!

rndy-lol thankies X3

kRisZ -thanks X3
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Offline kawaii beam

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Re: kawaii-beam's not so very wonderful box of wonders~[Melt]
« Reply #28 on: December 21, 2009, 07:28:39 PM »
ok here's the latest thing that i have.. it's another oneshot from a vocalid song XD hope u guys like it^^; i had written this at like 12 in the morning a few weeks ago and then typed it up the next day so here it goes XDDD

wanna litsen to the original ver of the song click this~
and for the other ver click this~
without further adeu.. here's melt~! X3


Waking up in the morning
I only had one thought inside my mind
Yes, it was you

I slowly opened my eyes to meet the sun's bright welcoming gaze.

"Ugh..what time is it..?"

I felt for my cellphone through the fluffy white sheets,trying my bes to stay awake and as soon as my fingertips touched the higly decorated metal item you intsantly came into my head.

'Are you waking up yet? Probably not.. you are a late sleeper after all...wait what am I thinking??'

I quickly shake my head as if to shake out the thought of you,and looked up at the clock of the electronic devise. It's only 9:15. I had a free day today, but you had to work. I wasnt sure of the time that you had to go into that big building and turn yourself on autopiolet just to go through the day but I just knew that right now was to early for you... there I go thinking of you again!

I turn and look out from my window. It looks like it'll be another sunny day...


Had a haircut the other day
So you could notice and say to me,
"Why the new hairstyle?"

I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror. In the end I had been called in last minute to do an interview due to one of the other girls having to go to a dance leson. I knew that the free day the agency gave me wasnt fully true.

I brushed my newly cut bangs that were only a few days old through my fingers. I was still getting used to them being so short. Rembering the reason why I had cut them came back into me as well and brought sligh depression in as well...

"Nee Ai-chan,have you seen next weeks new shedule? I dont have the copy."

I had a big grin plasterd on my face due to all of the complements that I had gotten about my new bangs. Everyone had seen them except you and you were the main reason why I even thought of the silly idea.

You looked up from your PSP breifly to look at me and then looked back down at the white handheld and siad with your hometwon accent;

"It's over there near my bag..."

I slightly puffed my cheeks, mostly because of your PSP and of your absorbtion of the game.  You didnt fully notice me. Just because you have to focus on beating whatever boss it is in that game dodoesnt mean that I'm not importiant to look at.

I walked over to your bag and looked at myself in the mirror of your dressing room. I wanted you te see my bangs and ask me what I did to my hair. Just looking at them brought back the feelings of frustration and self hating for not fessing it up to you.

I wanted you to see me..better yet needed you to.

Looking back at you your face was fuly concentrated on beating that boss and getting enough gill and experience points so that you could go onto the next level.

"Mou~ Ai-chan don't you notice anything diffrent??"

She didnt even look up.

"No,you always look the same Gaki-san... And the weather's the same too..why?"

I felt my heart tug a little at her sentence but I didnt let it show.

"Ah.. no reason..."

"Why is it so hard for you to gether to ntice you?!It cant be that hard!"

I sighed in frustration and took out my green flower baratte and flattened out my pink skirt. I was determined for her to notice me this time.

"If you cnat notice me in this the you truely are oblivious.."

Pink skirt flower barette
Stick it on my hair then I'm going out
Today, you will see how cute I really can be!

I gave myself a determined look of "ganbarimasu!" and clecnhed my fist in the air.

'Today You will see how cute I can realy be!'


MELT I'm melting
To say I love you is just impossible ... However
MELT I can't even look at your eyes
I'm not going to be in love with love not me
Because it's you ... I like

"AH! I'm just fooling myself!"

I walked back and forth inside of the elevator.

"How can I be thinking of even saything this to you when you didnt eve notice me!?"

I started to curse myself for falling into the weak me and you for being so dificult yet so easy to fall inlove with. As I walked out of the building, I started cursing my umbrella as well.

I wish that it was so easy to confess to you  but it wasnt and yet at the same time there was nothing to confess to you about..

Weather this morning was wrong and left me unprepared again
Now I'm caught in the rain



I look up at the sky and feel the drizzle start to come on me. Eventualy they get biger and biger and I start fighting with my umbrella.

"Damn weather, and stupid umbrella.."

Could have got an umbrella from a store somewhere and then I heard her sigh
I see a girl leave. Oh was it you? And then I say,

I mumble to myself as the small drizzle started turning into big fat ugly raindrops getting me wet without a care in the world. That's when I see you and before I knew it I had walked up to you and asked;

"Hey Ai-chan, is it alright If I walk with you?"

You look up at me and smiled warmly. It's been a while since I seen you give that smile to me and only me.

"Sure, we dont want you getting any wetter do we?"

All I could do was nod as I went under the big pink umbrella. Whenever you geve me that look of happiness it just made me fall deeper and deeper in love with you...  

"Do you mind if I walk with you," as you unfold the parasol
I hope you didn't see my face was burning red,
And now I am falling in love with you!


My right hand started trembling as we started walking. I was so close yet so far..

'C'mon Risa..You can do this! It's just holding her hand..'

I closed my eyes tightly as I fought with the chibi me that was highly doubtful of this love coming true...

MELT Oh, I am hardly breathing!
as our hands touch ... because
MELT all of this just because we're sharing this umbrella
Just nearly close enough, to feel your breath. Oh, what to do...
Oh, please,God, just stop time forever.


Eventualy we started talking about all of the silly things that the girls,the kids and the eggs were doing throught the week. I was laughing so hard that tears started to form. It wasnt from the humor of the week bu of the inner battle with myself of how weak I was not to tell you my feelings. I guess that you could say that it was a bittersweet happiness and mellencoly-ness of how thisngs used to be with us.

This waterfall of tears has started. Don't know if it'll ever stop.
But I'm so happy now, that I could just die!


By the time we reach the train station I fell back into my depression..well on the inside atleast. It hurts everytime that we seperate. You look at the train that's quickly on it's way to take you home. Eventhough we'll see eachother again tomorrow, work will seperate us...

MELT The time of pairing has arrived.
Though, we will meet again, until then, you'll disappear ... And again

As you wave good bye to me and walk to the train, you smile as me as the door seperates us. If only I wasnt so weak,we could probably be together right now, and I'd be on that train with you, giggling and smiling away. But I couldnt.

I guess all of that sweetness will onlystay with me in my dreams...

MELT Oh, God, please tie us forever!
Already missing you, I never want to say goodbye
I take you in my arms and say "I love you,"
...In my dreams.
« Last Edit: December 21, 2009, 11:53:16 PM by kawaii beam »
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Offline kuro_808

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 :D :wub:

just so heartwarming hehe
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Offline rndmnwierd

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"No,you always look the same Gaki-san... And the weather's the same too..why?"
Ouch, but a very Ai-chan thing to say.

Very bittersweet, I like it. :yep:

Offline kRisZ

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"No,you always look the same Gaki-san... And the weather's the same too..why?"


You look up at me and smiled warmly. It's been a while since I seen you give that smile to me and only me.

Maybe you should steal and hide that PSP thing   XD

Offline kawaii beam

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Re: kawaii-beam's not so very wonderful box of wonders~[Feverish kiss]2-17-10
« Reply #33 on: February 18, 2010, 03:17:35 AM »
kurosawa87-lol thanks^^

rndy-lol i know right?! maybe risa cut her hair for ai-chan attention XD and why'd u trick me with those teasers~!??? XD jk u know i'll wait for ya~ :heart:

kRisZ-lol yes,but if risa hid ai's beloved psp, she'd never finish her ff game,and she'd go straight to the ds to play ff tactics XDDD

so u all are probably wondering what happened to me well...i've been writing chapters for my fic and plus school...and well i've just been lazy XDD but there's hope! i made a one-shot for v-day so here you all go~

Feverish kiss

Valentines day. It's a day of love,candies,chocolates,confessions,and other mushy stuff. In some parts of the world, both sexes;male,female confess to eachother on this special day,but here in Japan it's totaly diffrent. On Febuary 14th the girl, or whoever it is...let's just call them the "confessor" gives the "confessy" their home made chocolate,sweets/gifts. Then instead of the confessy being kind enough to accept their love or deny it, they have to wait 30 days for a reply. We call that "White Day",but I'm clearly ahead of myself aren't I? Well let's starts at the begining.....

"Ne,Ai-chan,what are you doing on Valentines day?"

I looked over at my sub-leader as I wiped the sweat off of my face from a dance rehersal. The ends of her freshly cut hair were clining onto her neck thanks to the combination of sweat and skin. Looking into her eyes they were filled with hope of me saying yes. I slightly pouted and put a finger to my chin thinking if I had anything to do that day.

"Ah...I don't know...,I might have to do a radio show that day...but I'll try."

Her smile wavered a bit, but it came back bright and sunny as ever,as she wraped her green towel around her neck.

"Alright,well call me if you're free alright~?"

"Alright, I'll be sure to."

So you probably think think that I was going to surprise her and say "yes" or give her a gift she never thought I would give her,but you're wrong. Later on that day,I had somehow gotten a fever,which made me bed-ridden all the way till Valentines day.

On that day, I was stuffy,hot,tierd,misserable, and pretty much in the worst mood known to man ever.

"Ai-chan, it makes no sense being upset about it you know. Maybe it's a sign that you need to take a break?"

I gave my younger sister a stern glare(mostly due to my misserable-ness) before she just shook her head and left my apartment to start her chocolate give away to her friends and potentcial lover. Sighing, I grabed my remote and started watching t.v. The more channel surfing I did, the more sick I became. Not because of the fever, but from all of the lovey-dovey dramas,and valentines specials. Sighing in frustration, I turned off the t.v. and pluged my earphones into my ears as I felt a slight vibration on my bed.

As I pressed play on my ipod with my left hand and checked my new text message with my right.

'Happy V-day Ai-chan~! Sorry that you're sick >.< get better ne~?, love you middle manager~!'

A slight smile crept up across my face,and it just got bigger and bigger as more messages came flooding in;from current and past gen. memebers,all the way to the kids and even some of the eggs of "happy valentines day!" and "get well soon leader!" messages. Pretty much all of Up Front had sent me something accept one person,which had brought my happy smile, back to a sad and dissapointed frown.

That was until I felt my phone vibrate to life once again. But this time it wasn't a message,but a call. Quickly taking out an earphone and putting the little electronic device to my ear.


I said a bit groggily and dryly, no thanks to the fever.

"Ai-chan? It's me,Risa. I was knocking on your door,but no one's awnsered. Do you think that you could come and open the door for me?"

"Of course!"

I quickly jumped out of my bed,and ran to the apartment door,only to slide alittle bit and slightly banged my head against the door. After a slight curse under my breath and rubbing my sore head, I opened the door, to see a worried look on Risa's face. She had bags filled with what looked like candies,chocolates,flowers,and any other v-day thing known to man. No wonder she couldnt get me before,(next to my blaring music in my ears) she could barely knock on the door! How was she even able to get her phone to call me?!

"Are you alright?? I heard a thud on the door..."

"I'm fine."

I took some of the bags off of her and ussered her inside from the cool winter air.

"How long were you out there?? I couldn't hear the door. I was litsening to my ipod...I'm sorry..."

She smiled warmly at me and put down the other bags.

"Not to long,dont worry about it. How are you feeling?"

"Misserable, but alot better now that you're here."

I saw a shade of pink in her cheeks form as I smiled amusingly at her trying to change the subject.

"Well, here's something to make you feel better..."

She started taking out the items of the bags, and I just looked in awe from all of the presents. Some were home-made,others were store bought. Risa just smiled at my amaized expression.

"Where did all of these come from??"

"Well your friends and admieres of course~! Since all of the girls were sad that you hadent been at work today, so I decided to bring all of their gifts to you."

"But if all of these are from everyone else,where's yours?"

She giggled as she took a bite out of one of the chocolates,and stood up.

"Isnt be being here good enough for you?"

"Well yeah, but valentines day gift wouldnt hurt either....Ah! Hey! What are you doing!?"

While I had been complaining(and being a total hyprocrite)about not getting a Valentines day gift from my best friend,she had picked me up and started walking to my room,only to put me on the bed and wrap up under the sheets.

"You still need some rest,so just sit back and relax."

I pouted and crossed my arms as she sat next to me on the bed. From there on in, I started talking(or rather ranting)about all of the work that I had to make up when this fever was finaly done, when out of nowhere, her face had came extreamly close to mine. Forehead to forehead,which caused me to shut up instantly.

"How many times do I have to tell you to just relax? Over working yourself doesnt help anyone..."

I felt myself heat up intsantly as her lips came closer to mine,and it wasnt cus of the fever.

"Happy Valentines day Ai-chan..."

She whispered it softly as our 1st of many kisses happened that night. Now that I think about it, since I technicaly got confessed on that night and replied back on the same day, how will White day turn out?

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Offline kuro_808

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Re: kawaii-beam's not so very wonderful box of wonders~[Feverish kiss] 2-17-10
« Reply #34 on: February 18, 2010, 09:08:51 AM »
very cute and sweet, TakaGaki  :wub: good job
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Offline kawaii beam

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Sakura no Shiori

I smiled as I took in the cool,yet somewhat glowing spring air as it lazily blew in the classroom's open window. It felt so refreshing, eventhough I've felt it so many times before. Closing your eyes, and just letting the wind carry your imaginations away just relaxed the mind...well for me atleast. Smelling the sweet sent of cherry blossoms brought back many memmories for me, but there was always a few that stuck into my mind.

"Gentle breeze of spring
is flowing from somewhere..."

We were walking home together after your graduation. Your eyes were still a bit puffy from all the crying you'd done from earlier. Your hair bounced a little along with the red school ribbon that was nicely resting on your chest as you walked.

"Eh? what do you mean?"

I asked, slightly confused about what you'd just said as another breeze blew through, slightly fluttering our skirts. You looked at me and just shook your head and smiled as if I wouldn't understand either way.

"It's nothing... just talking to myself."

I raised my eyebrows in slight confusion. You had been acting pretty odd the whole week down to graduation, like something was bothering you, but you never told me. I guess that's what happens when your best friends with your snepai; being close yet distant at the same time and all.

I didnt fully understand the thing called graduation. To me at that time it was just seeing some of your friends again and hanging out with others that didnt go to your school. I also didn't fully realise that this was going to be the begining of not seeing you so often from that day on. The future wasn't as  importiant to me at that time as it was for you. You never realy told me about how lonely it might be not seeing your friends again, or about how brutal the real world realy was. You wanted to keep me innocent of all of that eventhough I was pretty mature enough to understand for my age.

"On the street that we used to walk
the color is starting to change."

You said soflty to yourself as we were walking through the quiet little neighborhood that we usualy walked to get home. You were just so full of riddles that day, but my little mind just couldn't solve them no matter how hard I tried.

"You know Risa-chan,"

You looked at me as you brought the diploma case up to your chest.

"Happiness and sadness are
passing away with the season....."

"...just like cherry blossom petals...."

You took your hand out as a few petals gently drifted on by towards you,and slowly closed your hand.

"We're starting to walk
on a new path"

"so you know that we won't see eachother as much as we used to..."

I nodded in agreement. It made me feel a bit sad, knowing that you were going to grow up, while I was left behind to be in school.... I wouldn't get to see the little things of you changing when you cut your hair, only to see has quickly it grew back..

As I was thinking of all of these depressing thoughts, I didn't notice that you'd  stoped walking, causing me to bump into you. When I looked up, you were looking down at the small pink petal in your hand with a soft and sweet smile that melted my heart.

"This cherry blossom petal is a
bookmark of parting....
It brings back my friends' expression
when they waved their hands..."

Remembering what had happened earlier that day brought a sad smile to my face. all of your friends hugged and waved their 'good-byes' to you as they left the school grounds; not knowing if it would be the last time they'd get to see their sweet and responsible leader, before you start on your new dream of becoming an actress and a model. You had the talent and the beauty for it as well, but we all worried about you. How'd you be living on your own and what would you do in certian situations. Eventhough you were the main girl incharge, you could be careless and forgetful.

"This cherry blossom petal..."

You said as you took another petal off of your ribbon, and put in in my hand.

"is a bookmark of tears....
so that these important moments
won't ever be forgotten..."

I remembered the many things I'd learned form you, and even after you left you taught me more. I remember what you told me to do if someone confessed to me and how to respond if I didn't feel the same way about them.(which happened alot to you in your case) That helped me when my own bestfriend (second to you)confessed to me. In the end it turned out that one of my other friend's confessed to her, causing tehm to have a great relationship.

Soon after that mini drama, I had start seeing you less and less form all of the auditions that you had to do. It made me lonely eventhough in reality I never realy was. I smiled a bit, thinking back to how innocent I was to everything... 4 years realy changes what you think about things. I looked out and down the window as some of my classmates were saying their goodbyes.

I looked up to the sky as the feeling of happiness and sadness started to flow through me. Is this what you felt on your graduation? The feeiling of acomplishing so much yet at the same time feeling sad that you'd wont see your friends anymore? I softly mumbled to myself as another breeze rolled in.

"When I look up to the sky
within such wideness,
I'm starting to grasp the length of
this never ending path..."

One of the many things that you taught me was something that you had to learn the hard way. No matter how hard you tried to please people, they'd always find a way to make you the bad person. I'll never forget the night when you texted me so late at night saying that someone had made this rumor about you going out with some guy,and then slept with him. I knew that it wasnt true mostly because that night you supposively slept with this guy, you were visiting your parents.

Eventhough your agency knew that it wasn't true, they thought it would be good for you to take a breif hiatus to get the gossip people off of their and your back. In then end, you stayed with my family. When I asked why you never went to your parents about this and why you came to stay with me instead of them, you only said,

"I just don't want to be by myself that's I don't want to be a burden on my parents...I put them through so much already..."

You said it with that cute smile on your face, but I knew that deep down it hurt you. Within a few days you broke down from all of the frustration and hard work inside you. Me, being so used to your calm and sweet expression was utterly shocked about how you wwere acting. I mean I'd seen you cry before, but this type was just from working so hard... having everyone pull you down eventhough you tried to ignore it... it would be to much on a person, but you never showed it. You pulled through everything on your own, neot even asking for anything in return. You just wanted your dream to come true,and you felt liek you couldnt even get that right.
All I could do was wrap my arms around you and tell you that everything would be fine, and that I'd be there for you no matter what, eventhough I clearly had no idea what would happen in the future.

After the emotional clensing, you slowly sat up and looked at me with the sweet smile as you wipped your tears and said to me, with your voice still quivering,

"...Risa-chan...You're the only true friend I have in this thing.... I can come to you for anything...and I'm glad for that...."

You always said that to me whenever you had a bad day and I was there to cheer you up, and I always said that same to you...we were always going to be bestfriends nomatter what.


she continued on,

"Be it sunny day or rainy,
tomorrow will surely come
so with a smile,
I'm taking one step forward."

By now the sun was already setting, and I was still In the classroom. I was now sitting at my desk, writing in my school diary. Trying to think of what I should put in the last entry of my highschool day. As i was absently scribbling beans and hearts, I noticed a cherry blossom petal land in the middle of my page,which caused me to start writng there on the spot.

'This cherry blossom petal is a
bookmark of future
To make me rememebr
the dream I've been longing for.'

"The dream for you and me to be together forever...even if you don't love me like I do for you..."

Another petal flew in as I grabed it with my hand, and closed it sut with my other hand as I closed my my eyes and made a wish on it, like a prayer.

'This cherry blossom petal is a
bookmark of hope.
Rather than marking the end,
this page is the starting point.'

'Please....don't make me look like a fool when I confess to her...I want this ending  to my new beginig...a begining with my Ai-chan....'

I went back to your graduation day, as I saw you smiling with that sweet innocent smile as you took a petal out of my bangs and showed it to me, causing a blush to form on my face.

"This cherry blossom petal is a
bookmark of heart
where sunlight through the trees
in our sparkling youth looked so dazzling.."

Opening my eyes, I slightly gasped when I saw you there, smiling at me with your oversized sunglasses on. There was no school uniform on you, unlike me. Only a stylish floral onepiece,a small whote vest and a simple necklass around your neck that I had given you on your birthday a few years ago. Your hair was now longer,but a lighter shade of brown,almost blonde. You clearly changed from the senpai I'd known a few years ago, yet you still were the sweet lovable girl that I had known to love.

"W-what are you d-doing here???"

I asked still a bit schocked, not moving from my "prayer" position.

"I'm here to take you home silly~ It only seems fair too sine you walked me home on my graduation."

"That was because we lived in the same neighborhood.... OH!!...."

I quickly put my hands down realising that I must've looked like a complete idiot in front of youholding that petal. As I closed my notebook and started putting my things together, I got giggles as a response to my actions, which made my face burn up to the max. This was one of teh reasons why I wished that I had never cut my hair in the first place...I'd still be able to hide my emberassment if I had long hair.

You walked up to me and took off your glasses as I franticly packed up. You took a petal at looked at it.

"You know Risa-chan...I've been thinking about something, but I wanted to wait until you graduated to tell you....."

I looked at you with curiosity,wondering what you could be on your mind.

"What is it Ai-chan?"

" like me right?"

"Yeah..and I like you..."

" took me time to realise it,but well...I love you."

I felt everything around me go silent in an instant. You'd pretty much confessed to me, (and pretty bluntly at that) and all I could do was stair at you with my eyes and mouth wide open in shock as I felt your lips on mine, causing my arms to automaticaly wrap around your neck, and for my tears of happiness and relief to come out. This day will be a day I'll never forget. Not only because it's my graduation day, but it's also the day my dream came true.

This cherry blossom petal is a
bookmark of that day
so each and everyone will not forget
their dreams until it's blooming fully
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Offline kuro_808

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 :ptam-cry: :ptam-cry: :ptam-cry:

very nicely done, the sort of spring going to early summer as it runs through everything in her mind and right at the moment home run

 :twothumbs :twothumbs

keep up the writing :thumbup
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Offline kawaii beam

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Re: kawaii-beam's not so very wonderful box of wonders~[Sign] 8-20-10
« Reply #37 on: August 20, 2010, 07:06:41 AM »
kuro-thans so much~ X3

i'm back X3 and its no thanks to brown eyed girls XD my friend sent me this song to help her choose it for a dub and i couldnt stop litsening to it..eventualy i couldnt stop litening to it and eventualy this idea came~ X3 so i hope u all like it~

here's the mv link if u all want to see it~

It was quite in the usually noisy dressing room that belonged to half of the group that I was sub leader to. Everyone had left but Eri and I, mostly because we were going over what was to be talked about for our next 5 stars, or supposed to be talking about at least. I was fooling around with my new phone while she just chatted away about how her and her two fellow rokkies were planning a trip during our well deserved summer vacation.

I just nodded along with her saying my usual “hms” and “uns” as she went on and on until she got up from the couch and walked over to me by the dresser. I was staring blankly at my cell phone screen as sighed and I fiddled with the charms when my favorite turtle gently poked my forehead with her index finger.

“What’s the matter Gaki-han? It’s not like you to be so quiet.”

I looked up and gave her a small smile as I closed the white device in my hand. 

“It’s nothing Kame-han, just thinking is all…”

“It’s about Ai-chan isn’t it?”
I looked away to the reflection of the mirror seeing the door handle to distract me. She was the last person I wanted to think about yet at the same time that’s all I could think about. Just remembering how she acted with the other girls earlier today made my mood go lower. Causing Eri to speak up again. 

“Why can’t you just tell her how you feel already Gaki-han? Maybe then she’ll stop this bad habit of hers?”
I looked away from the doorknob and to Eri’s face in the reflection as I mumbled out my defense.

“It’s easier said than done Eri… You and I both know that…”

 It’s like I lose my breath when I see her… and my heart aches so much that it’s like I’m calling her out for help to stop it…even though me helping her habit out wouldn’t help anyone in the end. Eri of all people knew that. She knows that I’d have to do more than just tell Ai-chan to stop sleeping with Sayu, Tanakacchi and Jun. Of course to the four of them it was nothing but just friends with benefits but to me it was something more.

Because of all of these constant flings our relationship went on and off. One minute she’d act like I was her whole world and that nothing could break that, but then the next she’d be in one of the changing rooms with one of them doing god knows what. It angered me. It made me want to just ditch her altogether but I just couldn’t.

I just felt like sending her a mayday signal wouldn’t even work not even SOS signal in Morse Code would bring her to save me out of this depression. Time would just keep on going and flowing and she’d continue doing the same old thing not even hearing or seeing the signs I’d be giving her.


I looked down at the pink cell phone again clearly sighing as I flopped onto my empty bed. Closing my eyes and brining my left hand to cover half of my face. Yet again you never said much to me today, next to the usual “hi’s” and telling me things to do for the upcoming events. I could tell that you were avoiding me though, and it made me want your attention more. It nurtured the bad behavior I’d promise to stop many times ago but I just couldn’t stop.

Putting the small screen in front of my face as I stared at your name my contact list, I quietly mumbled to myself, pretending you were laying right next to me as you played with the ends of my hair.

“Even if you really don’t want to Risa-chan…..Look at me once…”

I closed my eyes again remembering how I used to be, the shy and silly country girl who could never say anything properly and was called odd by her kohai’s and senpais to this, Morning Musume’s leader and Hello!Project’s number one “player”. I talked to the air again as I smiled to myself.

“Look at me…look at me who used to be bright…. And now I’m changing like can’t say anything can you…..?”

Opening my eyes I smirked and giggled to myself as tears started to form, blurring my vision. I was always a cry baby, that would never change that’s for sure.

“Here I am, Shedding tears like a fool, All day and all night staying in a dark room…”

I giggled some more sensing the slight irony in it all. I’m an idol, yet I’d rather stay at home and play my games than go out with the other girls. I’m not outspoken and loud yet I’m bold enough to sleep with other girls to get your attention. No matter what I say or do, you never knew what my heart’s telling you. Even when one second or minute goes by my heart tightens without you, but I just can’t let go of my needs that you don’t currently give me.

Slowly, I close my eyes as the tears started trickling down my cheeks. I really don’t want it to end like this…me constantly getting my physical needs met just because you won’t emotionally meet mine…or rather you refuse to, but if it does…

“I’m scared of everything….”

I quietly cry out in the still room.

“So rescue me…Please Risa…”


Panting quickly as I leaned on a nearby pillar, I loudly slumped into the empty bench in the quiet train station. Yet again I had to persuade the station manager that I’d left my train card and that I wasn’t a Gal trying to cheat him out and on top of that it started to rain. I mumbled to myself as I hoped that I didn’t miss the last train due to that stupid little argument. The only closest place for me was to go to her place…and that was defiantly the last place I wanted to go. Plugging my headphones into my ears I patiently waited for the train to come.

After 20 minutes of waiting one of the station employees came up to me and tapped me on my shoulder causing me to instantly jump out of the bench I was slowly falling asleep on.

“Miss…the last train won’t come tonight due to the heavy rain… I’m sorry but might have to find a place to stay over for the night.”

‘Just my luck…’

I nodded to the employee and eventually started walking down the still escalator, cussing the manager under my breath.

“If it wasn’t for him I’d be home by now….”

I continued walking not really caring if the rain soaked me from head to toe, because I knew that the only place I’d be able to stay for free and have dry clothes would be her place. Eventually I got to her apartment and stood at the white door a minute. Was this really the right thing to do? I mean yeah I’ll just be staying here for the night, but I was still upset at her and I didn’t want to confront her at all…yet at the same time I still came all the way from the station to her apartment. I wiped my wet dripping bangs out of my face as I looked at the door again.

My heart aches when she goes and sleep with other girls, but I still can’t keep myself away from her, but time will just keep going and flowing tic toc without anyone stopping it. I wanted to know if she really heard my previous signs or did she just ignore it. I really needed to know.


After my little crying fit I decided a bath would be the only thing to calm me down…even though it didn’t help much. Coming out of the steamed room I looked at my phone that I’d left on the bed. The pink device was lit up with a new message from Eri. I raised an eyebrow. It wasn’t really like Eri to message me this late at night. Knowing her she’d usually be asleep by now. I stopped drying my hair for a moment and slid up the phone to read the message that she sent.

“Ai-chan, I know that this isn’t the right way to say this but for Gaki-hans sake just talk to her. I don’t know what’s been going on with you two but you guys must clear it out before it gets even worse ok? We all miss our happy leader and sub-leader, Eririn”

“Easier said than done Eri.”

I replied back to her with not even a word, just 5 little dots. It was all I could think of to send, knowing that not even Eri could help me get over this with such a simple message.

I gently tossed the phone back onto the bed and resumed drying my hair with the towel I had rested on my shoulder. She only knew less than half of what was going on with me. Being blunt about it wouldn’t help either…You’d just ignore me or say that now wasn’t the time or place to talk about it. There are so many things I couldn’t say before… things I’ll probably never be able to say but I still wanted to say them.

Walking back to the bathroom I looked at myself in the slightly fogged mirror. I leaned over to look at myself better. Puffy red eyes and a slightly swollen face was what reflected back at me, along with a scowl and lifeless eyes. Had this what I really became, just because of that one mistake so long ago? I slightly clutched onto the marble counter, feeling the breakdown coming yet again as I opened my mouth to talk to the person in front of me. It wasn’t me that I was seeing in the reflection anymore but you.

“Please listen to me…”
I bit my lip as I felt it quiver, but I quickly jumped as I heard the door knock. Quickly grabbing the nearest towel dress I could I hurried to the door and opened it to see you.


The door quickly swung open and she blinked a few times as she just continued staring at me with those huge brown eyes that I cared for so much in shock. I could tell that I was the last person she’d though she would see at her door. I gently smiled and brought my hand behind my head in slight embarrassment.

“Hey…do you mind if I can stay the night? I missed the last train…”

She quickly nodded and quickly dragged me in as soon as she saw me shiver a little due to the cold and heavy clothes that clung onto my skin.

“Get out of those clothes before you catch a cold and take a hot bath….I’ll bring a change of clothes for you…”

 She barely mumbled the command and I did as I was told. When I got out of the bath, I saw an old concert shirt and jersey bottoms that I’d left here so long ago. I gave a small smile to myself and put them on. When I was done changing, I walked out of the room and saw her sitting on the big couch staring blankly at the bright television screen playing the intro movie to her currently favorite game.

I sat next to her, looking at the movie and then to her.

“Thanks for letting me stay over…”

All she did was blink as she loosely held onto the Xbox controller. Remembering Eri’s words from earlier in the day, I took a deep breath and opened my mouth.

“Ai-chan…. “

No reply.

“Ai-chan, look at me.”

“No… you look at me.”

She put the controller next to her, stood up and looked down at me with a unreadable look in her eyes. I’d never seen that look in her before.

“Look at me like this, don’t pretend you don’t understand Risa! I’ve lost everything!”

Her eyes were starting to fill with tears as I just stared at her in shock.

“Y-you acknowledge my heart now, and I’ve confessed it a thousand times! But do you ever accept it? Just because of one stupid mistake that I made?!”

The tears were coming down in full force now. She looked away from me and looked to the floor. I couldn’t think of anything to say…I mean my mind was totally blank and I didn’t know how to react.

“My love signs towards you never seem to get you to notice Risa… Why won’t you accept them?”

She looked up at me, as I finally found the courage to open my mouth.

“I need you to wake up Ai-chan… I just can’t trust you…That one mistake of sleeping with Sayu, turned into doing the same thing with Reina…only to do it again with Jun??And then do it all over again?? What do you want me to do? Just let you come back?! It’s hard to forget something like that!”


I bit my lip hard as I struggled to stop myself from breaking down in front of you. Without you I’m sick with anxiety. I’m nothing without you, you of all people should know that. You looked away from me. I could tell you didn’t want me to see your eyes. I could tell that they were glazed with tears and pain.

Lightning quickly flashed and after a few seconds the thunder rolled right behind as I spoke up.

“….Don’t look away from me… I want you by my side.”

Shivering from the effort of trying to calm myself down, my lips start to tremble as you slowly look up at me with as much pain in your eyes that I couldn’t bare it. I hated seeing you like that… so vulnerable and broken.

“My heart won’t be able to stand another day…If it stops like this….”

‘I’m scared of everything so rescue me…please…’

I say that thought to myself as You just stare back at me. My vision blurred up from the constant tears that were coming down. And I quickly wiped them as I started to talk again with a shaky voice.

“I lose my breath and it’s a mayday Risa….. My heart aches and it’s another mayday…..but time again goes tic toc keeps on flowing….Do you hear my signs?”

You took a shaky breath and gulped.

“You fill my heart again Ai-chan…I try and hold my breath to resist you…but If I send you off…I know I’ll crumble without you… Why? Why can’t I just leave you?”


“I lose my breath too…and my heart aches as well Ai…”

You got up from the couch and too two steps towards me. I closed my eyes expecting a slap or any physical pain, but only got a warm embrace instead. My whole body stiffened at the contact. Opening my eyes, I looked to see that you were hugging me, crying in the crook of my neck.

The old feeling of you hugging me slowly brought my arms to wrap around your waist. I rested my chin on the top of your head, taking full opportunity of this moment.

“You’re too much of a good girl…you do know that right?”

I softly mumbled to her as she looked up at me with s small smile. I didn’t need an answer, and you never gave me one. I didn’t really care, as long as you were here with me to give me the love that I needed from you. I needed you. That’s what kept me together. Sayu Jun and Reina would never love me as much as you will. Hopefully all of the love signs I give you will bring you back to me, and I won’t have to be so needy of them anymore I’d be finally able to break the habit…..and not go back like the last times.

Eventually we both stopped shedding tears and decided that it was good for the both of us to go to bed. I took her hand to my room and we both went under the sheets and embraced each other as sleep and exhaustion began to take over.


I wasn’t sure if this was the right thing to do. I wasn’t sure if coming here and admitting that I really needed her yet didn’t trust her was the best idea, but at this very moment I didn’t think about that. All I needed was her and her alone, and even if time keeps flowing and history repeats itself….then I’ll just take that bullet and go through the pain all over again. That’s all I could do…giving her signs and continue being the good girl that she and everyone knew so well…Even if it hurts me in the end that’s what I’ll be.

ok i think this was pretty long no? XD please please please tell me what u think^^ i hope it wasnt all over the place ^^;
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Offline kuro_808

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Re: kawaii-beam's not so very wonderful box of wonders~[Sign] 8-20-10
« Reply #38 on: August 20, 2010, 09:53:33 AM »
i really like it and the sort of ping pong match between the two before they actually get themselves together is great

Keep up the work
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Offline rndmnwierd

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Re: kawaii-beam's not so very wonderful box of wonders~[Sign] 8-20-10
« Reply #39 on: August 20, 2010, 02:03:10 PM »
You got this done quicker than I expected! It's pretty good, you really stuck with the lyrics and you know I loves me some Takagaki~! You also added in some completely meaningless AiSayu, RenAi and JunAi, so a ,little  bit for everyone.

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