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Author Topic: The Lines Are Blurred ... [completed]  (Read 47686 times)

Offline lil_hamz

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The Lines Are Blurred ...
« Reply #20 on: July 26, 2006, 06:35:29 AM »
Quote from: Mikan
Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I want to cry so much. This fic is beautiful. Im going to miss Konno.

They live on in our fics!


YEAH they live on in our fics. More so in yours cuz everyone reads it so Mako & KonKon lives on always :)

Offline lil_hamz

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« Reply #21 on: July 26, 2006, 06:39:21 AM »
In this chapter.... Makoto's reply to Konno's previous question PLUS.... the Sayu-Eri confrontation.


Chapter 7


Konno said everything so quickly it sounded like one long word. Taking in a deep breath, she braced herself for Makoto's response.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Makoto screamed for joy. She had carried a torch for KonKon ever since they shared a room together. But she had never dared to express her true feelings for the fear that Konno might start avoiding her.

Cuddling Konno close to her chest now, Makoto was sure she could hear her heart beating at high-speed. Burying her face in Konno's hair, Makoto inhaled the freshness of Konno's scent with relish.

"I've a secret to tell. When I said my heart went doki doki for you, it's true. I meant every word. In fact, I'm doki doki now too."

The pair glazed into each other's eyes like the numerous times before. But this time they weren't just friends. They were soul mates.





[Eri's Balcony]

Eri stuck her head over the ledge and gulped at the distance. The Rokkies with Koharu had rooms on the second floor of the H!P apartment block.

"It's not THAT high. I'd break a leg at the most."

Eri thank the gods silently that their generation was not allocated the third floor instead.

She would rather run the two flights of stairs up to find Risa than to break a leg AND arm if she fell now.

"Here goes nothing."

Clutching the items in her hand with a death grip, Eri swung one leg over the ledge and pulled herself up. Since Sayumi wouldn't see her or reply any of her messages, Eri could only resort to this step. Like they say, desperate times call for desperate measures.

Eri had reached Sayumi's balcony safely and was just about to rejoice when she slipped and fell on her knees onto the floor.

Hearing a loud thud, Sayumi stopped counting her hair tie collection and walked from her dresser to the screen door leading to her balcony.



"Ehh! Eri?"


--- If anyone is reading this fic, mind telling me what you like & not (hopefully not much) :P I don't mind comments on what you'll like to see or guesses of what might happen.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2006, 07:32:13 AM by lil_hamz »

Offline Mikan

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« Reply #22 on: July 26, 2006, 09:47:54 AM »
*waves a flag for Konno and Mako* yay yay yay! That was the most beautiful chapter I have ever read about those two! Oh gosh! I went Doki Doki!

Oh, yes Im so sorry I should give you deeper comments! Seeing as you are so kind to the Doki Doki thread :D

What I like - The pairings. I dont hear much about these couples so its young and fresh. Also the pairings are relevant. Not just random people stuck together for the hell of it. A story is good when its based on true events, am I right? It makes it deeper.

What I didnt like - It was hard to find something I didnt like about this story but I thought maybe you would think I was a blind fan if I didnt say something as constructive critisism. At the beginning when I started reading The lines are blurred I got the impression that it was..uh I suppose unedited. I cant think of another word. I suppose ammetuer in a way but thats not right either. Anyway - the point is that it suddenly changed and its not a problem anymore. So what ever you did, you did it well and I know you will keep doing it well.

Good luck!

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Offline katatsumuri

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« Reply #23 on: July 26, 2006, 12:40:57 PM »
Frankly, I like what you are writing. The story ain't far-fetched, that makes it a pleasure to read. The most important thing is the story flows. Nice work :P

Offline lil_hamz

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« Reply #24 on: July 29, 2006, 07:08:13 PM »
Thanks for your support Mikan and katatsumuri :) I hope you will like what you read later on too.

I actually had TLAB on my previous sig cuz it was how I felt about not being able to choose among the gokkies and rokkies. I like them all :P Later when I decided to write this fic, I thought it kinda fits. I'm not sure why though XD

Offline lil_hamz

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« Reply #25 on: July 29, 2006, 07:17:03 PM »
Chapter 8


Sayumi was still angry with Eri, but seeing her friend on the cold hard floor with her beautiful features scrunched in pain, Sayumi didn't have the heart to leave her there.

"AH, ah!"

Eri yelped in pain as Sayumi helped her to the bed. Sitting down slowly, Eri bit her lip to numb the pain in her knees.

"What are you doing on my balcony?"

Sayumi willed her voice to be as cold as possible. She was determined not to forgive Eri so easily this time.

"I.... I came to give you this."

Eri held out her hand and in it lay two sets of pink hair bon-bons.

"You climbed over just to give me this?"

"You wouldn't see me. I had no other choice."



"Are you crazy? What if you fell?"

"I figured I'd break a leg at the most."

Eri smiled sheepishly trying to keep the mood light.

"Oh Eririn!"

Sayumi cried in exasperation walking away from the bed. She didn't feel good at all that Eri was hurt. She didn't even know if she could hate her anymore.

"Sayu..."

Eri got up and tried to walk towards Sayumi but the pain caused her legs to buckle.

Seeing Eri's condition, Sayumi rushed to catch Eri and in the process, they both fell onto the bed with Sayumi on top.



Eri bit her lips so hard this time that a drop of blood trickled down her chin.

"Ahh Eririn, you're bleeding!"


-- Hmmm I didn't expect the part on KameiShige to exceed this chapter. But this couple is just soooo good to write :P The next chapter might be on them too. That is if anyone wants to read more of this pairing.
« Last Edit: December 07, 2006, 08:10:26 PM by lil_hamz »

Offline Sukoshi

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« Reply #26 on: July 30, 2006, 06:32:59 AM »
I love kameshige~~~~ I can't get enough of them so it would be great if you continued with them :D  :heart:

Offline Mikan

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« Reply #27 on: July 30, 2006, 07:03:09 AM »
Cuteness!
ouch! Lip biting! ow ow ow ow, sounds painful. Im with Sukoshi - love the Kameshige action!

Read the complete Doki Doki!!

Offline huggumwuggums

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« Reply #28 on: July 30, 2006, 07:24:58 AM »
I hope Sayu's gonna do what I think she is going to :twisted:

Offline Mikan

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« Reply #29 on: July 30, 2006, 08:04:59 AM »
What? Lick the blood off? Hahahahaha.

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Offline huggumwuggums

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« Reply #30 on: July 30, 2006, 10:20:04 AM »
You know me too well.

Offline Mikan

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« Reply #31 on: July 30, 2006, 06:20:48 PM »
Well I'll take a leaf out of Aya's book -

That's A Ok!

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Offline lil_hamz

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« Reply #32 on: July 31, 2006, 05:30:30 AM »
Chapter 9


Sayumi quickly used her thumb to wipe away the blood. Seeing her gesture, Eri was overjoyed with the concern Sayumi was showing her. The pain she felt forgotten momentarily.

"Sayu I'm sorry. I never meant to make use of you. I don't even know how...."

"Shhhh Eri. I don't wanna know."

"Sayu please listen. These bon-bons, I bought them for you. I knew you'd like them the moment I saw them. And I bought a pair too. I was growing out my hair so we could wear them together."

Sayumi was at a loss for words. She couldnÂ’t believe Eri would do such a thing for her. Her 'former' best friend was always saying how she like her short hair after cutting it and wouldn't keep it long again.

"So this was the reason for your decision to keep your hair again?"

"Yes. It was meant to be a surprise Sayu."

Eri added in sadly and looked away from Sayumi's eyes. The surprise was no longer of use now that Sayumi was mad at her.

Sayumi's large black eyes stared to water and a single teardrop rolled from them and fell onto Eri's cheek.

"Sayu?"

 Eri looked up in surprise to see Sayumi crying in her hands.

"Don't cry Sayu. Shhhhhh"

Eri wrapped her hands around Sayumi and pulled her close. She was glad to have risked climbing the balcony. It was worth breaking a leg if Sayumi forgave her.

"I'm sorry Eririn. But they said you were making use of me... TWICE. I was too hurt to think straight. I'm sorry I caused you pain."

Sayumi whimpered and laid her head in the nook of Eri's neck, bringing her hand up to stroke Eri's cheek tenderly.  

"It's ok Sayu. I'm just glad you forgive me. You do right?"

Eri rubbed Sayumi's back gently to comfort the weeping girl. The last thing she wanted was for beautiful Sayumi to cry.

"I do. Because I like you Eririn."

Sayumi mumbled and her warm breath tickled Eri's ear ever so lightly.  

"Sayu, I have a confession to make. I think the tests were right. I was using you all along."




-- I exceeded the chapter again :D KameiShige are too cute together so I guess it can't be helped :P I hope this chapter was an ok read for everyone too. About the licking..... hmmmmm (goes off to think)
« Last Edit: December 07, 2006, 08:17:49 PM by lil_hamz »

Offline Mikan

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« Reply #33 on: July 31, 2006, 09:00:23 AM »
I laughed at your decision not to go with the licking. I think it was a smart one.

Im still a little conflicted with this chapter. I will also go away and think..

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Offline Sukoshi

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« Reply #34 on: July 31, 2006, 09:04:10 AM »
Hum...I'm sure Eri was using Sayu in a good way ! :rolleyes:  but this can only mean one thing !  either a love confession or more broken bones ! :o

Offline freya86

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« Reply #35 on: July 31, 2006, 11:37:28 AM »
Sayu will have a heartattack if you continue like this!!!! ;)
Anyway, soooo cute ^_^

// renai revolution ~ a j-pop/h!p slash community~ // yuko . kei . aika . koha . kanna . nacchi //

Offline lil_hamz

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« Reply #36 on: August 02, 2006, 02:24:10 PM »
Chapter 10


Hearing those words, Sayumi pulled away from Eri in an instant and stared at her in shock. Her already huge eyes were even larger as tears threatened to spill out of them.

"What?"

"I think I was using.. . how you like me as a friend to hang around you. Because in reality, I.... love you Sayu."

"You...yo..u...love me?"

Sayumi stuttered and stared wide eyed at the girl who was lying beneath her.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Eri regretted her confession. Sayumi might get so freaked out after this that remaining even as friends would be a problem.

However, Eri's fears were unfounded as what happened next was nothing any of them had expected.

Sayumi had leaned back down and Eri could feel a warm sensation on her lips.



She had started to bleed again but this was made all better by Sayumi's tongue. Suddenly, cutting herself never felt better.  

"I think... I love you too Eririn."



[Risa's Balcony]

The night was cool and the sky clear with a sprinkling of stars in the velvet sky. Risa has always loved looking up at them to clear her mind.

This was especially useful when it came to matters concerning Ai. It was no different tonight as Risa leaned against the ledge and let her thoughts wander.

However, this was soon interrupted by a sound coming from below. Curious, Risa stuck her head further over the ledge and looked for the source of the strange noise.

Someone appeared to be sitting on the floor in the balcony below. She had her head on her knees that were pulled up against her chest.

"She's crying."

Risa said to no one in particular after a moment's observance.

Racking her brains, she thought hard to remember which of the junior members had been allocated the room beneath hers.

"Is it a Rokkie? Or the miracle girl?"


-- Bingo Sukoshi, you read my mind :D Sayu & Eri had their love confession :heart: 2 couples are accounted for now. If you still remember who they were :P
« Last Edit: December 07, 2006, 08:22:16 PM by lil_hamz »

Offline lil_hamz

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« Reply #37 on: August 04, 2006, 07:38:48 PM »
Chapter 11

Failing to come up with the answer, Risa slapped her hand on the surface of the ledge that consequently produced a sound alerting the weeping girl.

Realizing she had been discovered, the mystery sobber scrambled up from her position on the floor and ran into her room sliding the glass door shut behind her.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!”

Risa scolded herself aloud and smacked her forehead with the same hand that caused the mess.



[Cafeteria]

Risa had one hand under her chin and with her other hand, pushed the food on her plate around with the fork. If anyone saw her now they would have probably thought that food served in the H!P cafeteria wasn’t fit for human consumption.

The sick feeling in her stomach made Risa feel like puking out what little food she did consume. And no, none of it was due to that time of the month. Rather, it was all because of the other members seated at the GoRokkies’ table.

“Let me feed you.”

Makoto carefully maneuvered a piece of steak into Konno’s waiting mouth and watched with affection as her chubby-faced partner chewed contentedly on the piece of medium-rare beef.

“Ahhhhhh.”

Konno cooed Makoto to open her mouth while slicing a similar sized piece of beef. This process was repeated between the two for all the other food items that followed.



Narrowing her eyes at the couple in a world of their own, Risa turned to her right side simply to be faced by the equally blissful KameiShige pair. Only this time, the work wasn’t uniformly divided.

Eri was truly enjoying the pleasure of being taken care of by the most ichiban kawaii member of the group.

“Would you like more fries Eririn? How about some fruits? Apples, mango, strawberries…”

“God, she has bruised knees. She’s not paralyzed!”

Risa yelled out over the noise in the cafeteria. However, her voice was barely audible to the couples as they continued their actions without pausing.  

Fed up of being left out of all the lovey-dovey stuff, Risa growled and stomped out of the cafeteria without returning her plate to the sink.

It was time she broke some rules.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2006, 07:03:56 AM by lil_hamz »

Offline JFC

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« Reply #38 on: August 04, 2006, 11:09:30 PM »
Rule breaking FTW!!!

JPH!P :heart:'s Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline katatsumuri

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« Reply #39 on: August 05, 2006, 12:49:39 AM »
Risa scolded herself aloud and smacked her forehead <-----

I can practically imagine that scenario and her expression. :)

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