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Author Topic: Góntia's Requiem  (Read 2712 times)

Offline Sexykago

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Góntia's Requiem
« on: March 12, 2007, 09:52:23 AM »
Ok, so this is my first fanfiction, I hope I'm ok with writing these. I'm not going to give too much information about the story before hand...I hope I won't be give too much off. Anyway it will take from things I'm inspired from scifi-fantasy type stuff such as Full Metal Alchemist and Final Fantasy. Geeky I know...but oh well.
It's gonna be sorta depressing so...you've been warned. I'm writing this one from aibon's current position in h!p...which isn't the greatest time to be writing...but I'm not gonna wait till she's back to write this thing.


Chapter 1: Mors Principium Est

Aibon was back in Tokyo from her long suspension from hello!project...now working answering phone calls and serving tea and the like. She says to herself "This isn't the greatest, but hopefully I'll be singing again soon...I mean...I don't have much else I can do...I'm certainly not the greatest student..I don't like studying". That whole year she had layed around on her bed, moping. She didn't hardly feel like eating and doing so lost weight. And so at the end of the day she came home from work. She felt as it had been a while since she while since she was working, dancing onstage and singing.

Now at her apartment in Tokyo she layed down and turned on the television, hoping there was a good drama on. After a bit of channel surfing she turns it on a news channel. It seems that terrorism was not decreasing as George Bush would've liked...but is increasing in number...at a rather alarming rate. Also on the news was several breaking new advances in medicine, a cure for cancer and a cure for aids. Scientists were able to find which genes caused certain people to be immune to aids and which ones weren't. There was an immediate effort to bring this advance to those in Africa who were suffering most from it. Indeed there was a scramble from everyone who needed it to get it. The modification was free of charge and available to anyone who needed it. However, because of so many people needing it...it was tough to get a spot in line for treatment.

Aibon didn't like watching the news very much, but this news on medicine was rather wonderful. They news reporters went on to discuss many more discoveries in human modification. Such as even sports enhancement was a very likely in the near future. Aibon thought to herself, "Wow..I've never been very good at sports...to be able to just go to a doctor and become become a great athelete would be wonderful...if only I made more as an idol...I could surely afford such a thing". Aibon now turned the televison off and began to take a nap.

Aibon slept for several hours longer than her usual nap...infact...it was only four hours until she had to go to work. She wasn't feeling the greatest after awaking and attributed the extra sleep to catching a cold. Feeling nasty, aibon still headed to work as usual. After a little while of sitting at the phone desk aibon was beginning to feel particularly woozy. No longer to keep conscious aibon fainted at her desk. Aibon again opens her eyes. She is now at the hospital with her parents are beside her...crying. She's told by the doctor that they do not know if she will live. 3,000,000 have already died from this new mysterious virus that nobody has ever encountered before.

The disease is brand new...discovered the same day she had fainted. It was three years ago that this happened...aibon had been resting the whole time. People were frantically looking for a way to cure it. Those who caught it did not catch it by air so it was safe for her family to be around her. People were almost sure that it was something in the water....all water...as people around the world were coming down with the virus. Likely a highly evolved bacteria in the ocean.

During this time that she had been asleep Russian scientist named Bukavac had been working on her. He was a very important person in the field of medicine. He was one of the major people credited with discovering a cure for hiv. He made many excuses to why he was singling her out as far as studying her for a cure to this virus...but the truth was merely that he found her very pretty. Nobody was complaning though. He immediately helped boost her immune system so that she would be less likely to die and used her as his study for the cure.

After all this time of studying the virus it still eluded him to how to cure it. After all the advances in medicine and genetic engineering he had help to create this was still so difficult for him. It was a slow killer, like HIV and it only seemed to attack humans. And like HIV it attacked the immune system. But this virus was quite different.

When she awoke, Bukavac greeted her and told her in his rudimentary Japanese that he was doing his best to save her. Though under medical observance and treatment, she was still allowed to walk around. She talked to her family and Bukavac about things...how the family was doing...the world around them and just little chit chat. Late at midnight that night she awoke and took a walk outside and looked at the beautiful cherry trees that had blossomed. She might never get to see them again. She sat and wondered if there was an afterlife or if death was really the end. The sun was starting to rise as she sat there at that cherry tree. She felt sleepy again and so now proceeded to head back to her room.

Bukavac that night looked over at her, like her family so happy and relieved that she was awake again. He was torn...here he was in love with a person who might die very soon and was a celebrity...even if she was ok...she seemed so out of his league. He stood over looking, hoping she would be awake again the next day.

She woke up day and day again. Bukavac so nervous...didn't do so much as even lightly flirt with aibon. She slept and awoke normally for the next three months. She did not feel great but at least she awoke normally. After this three months she could not keep herself awake any longer. She fell asleep. This time her breathing much heavier than before. Soon she had taken her last breath....her lungs had now failed. Bukavac...shattered by this immediately puts her in a Zorya tube, an invention by him that would preserve a human similar to Cryogenic freezing. He was going to work on her after death..hoping to resurrect her. Bukavac immediately headed for his lab in the Ural mountains to continue with his work on Kago. Aibon's family had nothing against this as any chance of seeing her alive again was better than none. They all weeped for what they all felt was the certain loss of their lovely aibon.
« Last Edit: March 13, 2007, 07:56:39 AM by Sexykago »


Offline rndmnwierd

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Góntia's Requiem
« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2007, 05:56:44 PM »
You killed Aibon and no mention of Nono. Wow. The plot's pretty good though, interesting.

Offline Sakura Momusu

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Góntia's Requiem
« Reply #2 on: March 12, 2007, 06:00:16 PM »
uhm...no comment...

Offline Sexykago

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Góntia's Requiem
« Reply #3 on: March 13, 2007, 01:12:29 AM »
Thank you rndmnwierd, I'm glad you like the plot.


Chapter 2: The Rabbit in the Moon Appears again

Bukavac made it back to his lab sucessfully with aibon in the tube stages before death. Frantically he spends the next year obsessively working on a way to revive Kago. He didn't even give himself enough time to eat properly. After a year and three months he felt hopeless. He went out into the moonlight and looked up at the stars. After looking into the infinity of space for a few hours he comes back inside, and gets a full night sleep. Something he hasn't done in a long while. He woke up the next morning with an epiphany. The cure he'd been so desiring was now in his grasp. He immediately administered it to aibon. It would take a while for the fully recovery from this disease and Tuberculosis to finish. While the computers finished with her care he went to his room and layed down. Because of the excitement he had over his discovery he was not able to sleep well. He slept off and on throughout the night. Little did he know that this lack of sleep would prove to his advantage.

At 3:00 Am Bukavac heard a knocking on his door. He crept to the door to see who it was. He heard on the other side of the door people yelling "the time is up, you're under arrest for violation of transhumanism ethics codes. Turn yourself over and we won't harm you". Bukavac was in panic, he had to save Kago. She still surely wasn't finished with recovery either. He immediately rushed to get aibon's pod and hide her and himself from the cops. Bukavac had a separate lab in the second level of the basement and it's passage was hidden from the naked eye. He went down there hiding and keeping quiet hoping the police would go away. The police did not go away. The searched and searched. Bukavac had a hard time keeping quite as the predicament had him breathing hard. As Bukavac layed there his legs were falling asleep. He moved his legs about and accidentally knocked his leg into a pipe. This hurt tremendously and despite his effort he made quite some noise from the pain. He quickly covered his mouth but then it was too late. The police had heard his wails of pain and one policeman yelled "there" and they all proceeded to knock down the wooden floor to make it to him. The policemen noticed him and set their guns aimed at him in case he tried to move.

They noticed aibon in the Zorya tube and commented "wow...that thing's creepy...it's a woman in a tube...filled with orange liquid junk", another replied "She's surely one of Bukavac's sick experiments, probably a supersoldier of sorts...his brother is a nationalist after all. "I am not my brother" replied Bukavac. "Well then you'll have no problem with us taking her then Mr. Bukavac" replied the police. "No! You'll not have her!" answered Bukavac. "Please, take me, but leave her here" continued Bukavac. The police responed "We're not giving you that option". Bukavac had no more negotiation he could do. He now procceeded to attack the policemen. Since the policemen had guns pointed straight at him his only option was to create a energy wave from his modified mitochodria knocking them to their feet. He did so. The policemen fired, but the energy wave made the bullets bounce back. Though he had went to great measures to modify himself and make himself stronger than other humans, this wave took most of his energy. He had to now walk up to his foes and attack him with his arms and legs. Even with this energy drain Bukavac was quite a bit stronger than the police. The tossed them around with the what energy he had left. But then, he had little energy left. The soldiers knocked him around in revenge for the beating they had taken. The computer monitoring Kago's status now alarmed. She had now made a full recovery. He rushed to let her free of the liquid filled tube imprisoning her. But as he made for the tube the policemen picked up the guns and shot him. Bleeding terribly, he pulled the switch and the computer was releasing aibon.

The tube opened and the liquid drained out. Aibon was slowly opening her eyes. She saw straight in front of her several policemen with guns. And looked below in horror as Bukavac who had taken care of her laid in a pool of blood with his bloody arm desparately grasping for her leg. Bukavac said to her "I will miss that beautiful face of yours...I'm sorry it had to end like this....goodbye my immortal Goddesss." After saying those last words Bukavac slumped over losing his grip on her leg. Aibon could feel a great power throughout her body. Aibon was not a violent person but this incident greatly sadened and angered her. The police aimed their guns at her. Aibon lifted her legs off the ground in levitation with a determined look on her face. The police startled by this fired their guns at her. A blue energy now surrounded Kago. She let out a yell and this blue wave of energy eminating from her mitocondria deflected the bullets stuck the soldiers to the floor and collapsed the entire building as she let out a great yell.

With her passivistic nature she even forgave those who killed Bukavac. She moved the bodies out of the buiding and layed them on the ground. The were injured but very much ok. She walked out of the town befuddled and further saddened with the state of the world and loss of Bukavac. She didn't know him for very long but still enough to be saddened by his passing. She now wanted desparately to make it back to her family and friends. She wanted to know that everything was alright. She would have drove to the nearest airport but found that now she could actually run faster than any car on the road. Not wasting time, she decided she would run all the way to Japan.
« Last Edit: March 13, 2007, 06:19:55 AM by Sexykago »


Offline JFC

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Góntia's Requiem
« Reply #4 on: March 13, 2007, 05:40:14 AM »
Chapter 1 - Cures for both cancer AND HIV/AIDS? If only we were so lucky.

Genetic manipulation? That's a pretty big can of worms to open there.

And exactly how old is this Bukavac? Unless he was a russian version of Doogie Howser he'd have to be in his 50's (at least) to be where he is in terms of his amount of expertise.  Thinking that he's falling for Aibon? She's not even 20 yet. Probably just an old man's infatuation.


And how the hell did she suddenly get TB? :scratch   If anything should have killed her, it should have been that mystery virus. TB isn't like a cold where you go to sleep one night and you wake up the next day all stuffy and achy.


Chapter 2 - So to cure her, he turned her into a mutant. Hmmmm....

JPH!P :heart:'s kuro808, Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline Sexykago

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Góntia's Requiem
« Reply #5 on: March 13, 2007, 06:18:44 AM »
Quote from: JFC;328085
And how the hell did she suddenly get TB? :scratch   If anything should have killed her, it should have been that mystery virus. TB isn't like a cold where you go to sleep one night and you wake up the next day all stuffy and achy.
Many people die of TB today because of have a weak immune system. Such as people with HIV/AIDS. One of the major things this virus targets is the immune system. Bukavac tried to help boost her immune system and keep it up but the virus mutated and to the point the immunity stuff no longer worked.

The TB thing isn't very key to the story though. I figure I'll go back and change it. It'd make more sense.
« Last Edit: March 13, 2007, 07:55:34 AM by Sexykago »


Offline rndmnwierd

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Góntia's Requiem
« Reply #6 on: March 13, 2007, 12:30:29 PM »
Like I said before, I like the plot, but I think you really need to take your time in writing out the chapters. It seems like your squishing down your story into bite sized pieces so that you can get it out faster. Description description description! :)

Offline Sexykago

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Góntia's Requiem
« Reply #7 on: March 13, 2007, 06:44:30 PM »
Yeah you're right. I should take more time in giving it more detail than just what I have. I could instead have made four or five chapters out of the two I have here. My story doesn't have enough description it just moves on from thing to thing very quickly. This is my first time writing a fan fiction...I guess it's only natural that I'd make mistakes.
 
Anyway thanks for the advice.:oops:


Offline rndmnwierd

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Góntia's Requiem
« Reply #8 on: March 14, 2007, 05:18:02 AM »
Quote from: Sexykago;328441
Yeah you're right. I should take more time in giving it more detail than just what I have. I could instead have made four or five chapters out of the two I have here. My story doesn't have enough description it just moves on from thing to thing very quickly. This is my first time writing a fan fiction...I guess it's only natural that I'd make mistakes.
 
Anyway thanks for the advice.:oops:


I'm still learning myself, but I look at other fanfics with a bigger fanbase than my own fics and realized that the reason they're so good is the intricate details in every chapter. I started rereading my newer chapters and going, 'Hmm, maybe that part could be longer.' or 'Wait, I never said where they were.'

It's still hard to break my old habits though. Like my tendency to sound like a know-it-all when I talk....

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