JPHiP Forum
The Hello! Project Fanfics => H!P Fanfics => Topic started by: AmberSan on April 11, 2008, 01:34:24 PM
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First English fic.. well first one i posted anyway..So please , any criticism would be welcomed, still a newb after all :sweatdrop:
The idea came to me quite a while ago, and i had to give it a try. so here you go ^^
chpater 1
Weak Rays of light entered through the little cracks in the window frame, drawing soothing shadows around the room.
Said light somewhat managed to pull a certain occupant of the room from her sleep, though not completely. She was awake but decided to keep her eyes closed, savoring a few more minutes of being half asleep before the alarming clock would force her to get up and start her day.
She came closer to her companion, leaving no distance between the front of her body and the other's back. The second occupant moved slightly at the contact and murmured in content as she did so.
Soft strands of hair welcomed the younger one, tickling her a bit. A fruity yet unfamiliar scent filled her nose, different from the "honey and milk" she was used to.
`Did Ai-chan change her shampoo` she pondered at the thought, but shoved it aside almost immediately, it wasn't that important at the moment, and Risa preferred concentrating on the presence of the warm body beside her.
A sudden movement as her companion turned around to face her. Lips were pressed to her own in a simple gesture, causing her to release a sigh of pleasure.
`Hmmm` eyes still closed, her mouth drawing a smile. She opened her eyes, meaning to thank her lover and expecting to see the latter's face smiling at her.
As her view before her became clearer, the more it became unreasonable. Risa blinked a few times, her tiredness restraining her from registering quickly the situation she was in.
` Wait, maybe I'm dreaming` the youngest Gokkie blinked hard again in confusion.
So she turned to the all-too-familiar test, and pinched herself.
"Itai~" she massaged the spot, trying to ease the slight pain.
'No, it's not a dream.'
The pale skin, the sharp-looking features of the face, toned down by the smile the other one wore. The button-like nose, sharp eyebrows and full lips left no room for mistakes.
Indeed, the one who so lovingly stared at her, was no other than the charming, narcissist idol-
Matsuura Aya.
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Sorry for the shortness. Hopefully the next one would be longer.
*hides away*
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*Gaki-style reaction* EH!? :O :o :O :o :O :shock:
Ayaya !?
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I second you with that...
EEEHHH?!?!
Why, how, who, when? =o
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Wh.. whaattt? Risa and Ayaya?? Wow, I never thought of them to be together in anyway. Thats.. wow..
I'm kind of glad you tried out your idea, it was really unexpected. XD
Wow, I'm still in the state of shock.. :stoned:
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Ayaya instead of Ai-chan?! :stoned:
AWESOME! :ding: It's sooo damn cute :luvluv2: Keep it up!
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Since HTML has been haunting me for a while... this is my gaki style reaction:
<gaki> nani Nani NANI........ USO!!!</gaki>
I knew something was up when Ai had changed her "scent"...
*Thinks about it*...Gaki and Aya... Gaki and Aya... Gaki...and Aya... that's sooooooooooooooooo RANDOM. I got to know how that happen!
On another note, I didn't spot any problems once so ever in your writing. Everything flowed nicely and to me that's the most important thing. I hate to be confused :dizzy:... if fact your writing shows you've been writing for a while XD
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This is my first time commenting so sorry for the sucky-ness... :mon sweat:
Somehow I think that Fujimoto's body and Niigaki's switched, could be wrong though
Nice story you have going :mon thumb:
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Well, I do agree with the title, it looks like they "switched" places or something... dunno... I've never imagined Risa and Aya together, so this is going to be interesting!
keep it up! :muffin:
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great writing! 1 chapter in and I'm already wanting more! I wonder if this has to do with switching bodies or if this is one bad drunken mistake! :shocked:
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Omgass! AyaGaki! :stunned:
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well this is new!
But sounds interesting! I'm game! :lol:
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WHAT :mon wtf:.... no wait WHAT :stoned: WHAT :shock: WHAT :frustrated: *says that alot more times in pure shock* :dizzy: whoa okay im back and confused and VERY intrigued great fic odd couple whatever caught my attention
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no more update????? Please continueeeeeee :cry:
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Gahh sorry fot the long wait :sweatdrop:
School and some huge writer's block have kept me from updating sooner. oh well, i sure hope the next one will be out in less than 2 months hehe :roll:
I hope this chapter would answer some of the questions that popped here.
This time it's a little longer , so enjoy :P
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Chapter 2
"Tan, are you ok?"
Noticing how panicked the other one looked, Aya turned to her, putting a hand on her lover's shoulder.
However, Risa was entirely caught between her own thoughts, that her senses stopped informing her about her surroundings.
Her brain was still trying to figure out the position she woke into. So, she started reviewing what happened the night before.
Yesterday they had photo shooting for their next single. Nothing was out of the ordinary and they finished at about 7 pm.
She remembered that afterwards, she went to the movies with Kame, Sayu and Ai-chan.
It was quite fun after all, spending time with her dear friends as if they were ordinary young girls. Ai-chan kept making consequent remarks about this actor or another, though she stopped after some old lady told her quite loudly and not in a very nice way to stop talking. The incident left the 4 oldest Gorokkies laughing quite a lot after they got off the cinema, meaning to head each to her own home.
After parting from her friends, Risa waited a little, walking slowly as if she was waiting for someone, which she actually was. A hand on her shoulder told her that her awaited person arrived. She turned around and smiled to her lover, holding her hand.
The two reached Ai's apartment, hands still entwined as they entered the darkened apartment. They progressed as fast as they could to the bedroom, kissing passionately, while trying to take off as much clothing from each other as they could. Getting into the room, Risa closed the door with a smile on her face. Well, It's been a while since the too were alone together...
Still, it didn't explain the situation at all. Going through the happenings again and again resulted with the same conclusion- There was no explanation. No alcohol or a "libido-gone-wild" incident. Hell, she didn't even see Matsuura-san in quite a while. So why did she.. How did they…
Risa's brain was stuck in an infinite loop, trying to figure out what the happened.
Seeing her lover in that semi-catatonic state was, well, rather amusing, and Aya giggled at the weird faces the other one did. She looked rather cute like that, lips moving as if she was talking to herself. It was a change from the usual don't-mess-with-me mode. After watching her for a few seconds, Aya decided to try and wake up the other one.
First, she tried pushing the other's body back and forth. Aside from causing the shorter one to swing her head in a very dangerous-looking way, it didn't do anything. Seeing that her method didn't work at all, Aya tried another one. She went to the kitchen and brought a glass of water. Aya dipped her fingers in the cold water, took a deep breath, and sprinkled the water on her lover's face , all while praying the other one wouldn't kill her for doing so.
"uuughhh" the shorter girl let out a noise of displeasure from being sprayed by the cold liquid.
"Tan" smiling that her companion woke up, Aya hugged her, Closing the distance between them. She moved her face so there were only very few inches between their faces, and kissed her, relieved that the problem was solved.
However the problem wasn't solved for the other occupant of the room. After waking up in a room she didn't know, with a lover who wasn't her Ai-chan, trying to figure out the situation , not succeeding in doing that and resulting in a shock state, and nonetheless, being pulled out from that state only to be kissed by that same person-who-wasn't-her-Ai-chan.
No, it was definitely a beginning of a very bad day. She wished the earth would just swallow her, or maybe the all-mighty-god would have mercy on her and make her disappear from this world…
Realizing how exaggerated her wish sounded, Risa immediately mentally scolded herself, and faltered towards what looked like the toilet.
She wetted her hands, letting the water stream over her bare hands. After a few minutes she lifted her hands to her face and rubbed it. Finally, though quite reluctantly, Risa opened her eyes to see a perplexed reflection looking at her within the mirror .
"My beautiful eyebrows"
Hearing her lover's scream, Aya dashed to the toilet. She found the other one lying on the floor, mumbling to herself while constantly rubbing her eyebrows.
Aya leaned towards her, a confused yet worried expression appearing on her face.
"Tan, what happened?" she asked softly, placing a hand on the other's shoulder. "Are you feeling well? You've been acting strange since you woke up, did .." But she didn't finish the sentence as Risa faced her, removing Aya's hand from her.
"Will you stop calling me Tan? It's already weird as it is, and you don't have to.." her eyes were a little red and so were her cheeks. She got up on her feet and looked at the mirror again, facing the same face she saw a little earlier. It hasn't changed. The whole situation didn't make sense at all- one moment she was at Ai's place and the other…
'Wait a minute' Risa held on to the thought that popped to her head. 'If I'm here at Matsuura-san's place then it means…'
Risa's eyes widened as this conclusion registered in her mind. She took Aya's hand, practically dragging her, as she hurried towards the room. When arrived she changed quickly to some clothes that were neatly folded on the chair and pointed Aya to do same.
They got out of the apartment, Risa holding Aya's hand, dragging the soloist behind her, a determined look on her face, as her other hand clenched into a fist.
'Don't you dare touch my Ai-chan! '
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As always, comments and criticism would be greatly welcomed :hee:
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YAY! AmberSan!!! Your story is back! I think this is pretty hilarious! So Miki and Gaki switched places? I think I'm a little confused! So did they just switch places or did they switch bodies too? That's why Aya doesn't know it's Gaki? I love possesive Gaki at the end! :heart:
Keep the chapters coming! 2 months is a loooong time! :(
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Hi *waves*
:O wow! Gaki and Miki switching places. Since we know Gaki's side, what did Miki do that they ended up switching bodies? Was Miki thinking of Ai when she was with Aya? tsk tsk...
Can't wait for the update...I wanna see what Miki would do, even tho I dont think she will get very far with Ai.
Risa: :mon mad:
Miki: :mon thumb:
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OMG! this is so cool! Risa and Miki body switched??? :twisted: :twisted:
i wonder what happened to Ai and "Gaki"... XD
keep it up!..^^
ganbare~
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i wonder what happened to Ai and "Gaki"...
i was thinking the same thing!
would the groping demon take advantage? ... i could totally see her doing just that...
... i'm on wait for update
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NNOOO! :mon scare: Gaki has to save Risa from the groping demon Ai before its too late because sure Miki would be shocked but I doubt she'll mind :twisted:
I think this could be beneficial to both GAM and Takagaki's relationship because I'm geussing Ai will apprciate a more aggressive and supah sexy Risa(Miki) and Aya will appreciate a softer, energitic, reaction-queeny Miki(Gaki)
or the opposite they'll hate the situtation a love how the person was before and never wanna change them :mon noprob:
biggest question though is how and why the switch
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I read the first chapter of this ages ago but didn't comment because I was like 'HUH? WTF...NOOOO!' But now it all makes sense. Well, kinda makes sense because obviously we have no idea how and why they switched bodies.
I really enjoyed that. Gaki...Go save your girl!!! Prince Gaki to the rescue!!!
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Now I think I understand the whole switching thing. And if it is between Miki and Gaki, it's going to be extremely funny. Gaki's so innocent, while Miki... well... :roll:
I can already imagine the scene when Gaki enters Ai's house :lol:
keep it up!
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:lol: i'm really like this fic!! please continue! :D
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"My beautiful eyebrows"
'Don't you dare touch my Ai-chan! '
lol- those parts were hilllarious and well timed; I just pictured em' in my head- such a fitting moment. Can't wait for the next update!
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I gave up on this fic a long time ago~ I thought you would never update this but I'm glad to see you did!!!
GAM and TakaGaki :hee: my favs
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mauajajajjajajajja :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
it's so funny!! poor gaki!! :mon XD: my eyebrows!! mauajajja
could miki be groping aichan? :mon evillaff:
i want a update~~
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Gaki and Miki switched bodies? XD
First question: what will happen to Ai then? :shock: Can't wait to find out this... :hee:
Second and third...How did that happen?And why Miki and Gaki? :mon dunno: Very intriguing...
Great work keep it up! :mon thumb:
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"Tan, are you ok?"
Noticing how panicked the other one looked, Aya turned to her, putting a hand on her lover's shoulder.
Tan? But that's Aya's pet name for Miki. :O
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So...Aya thinks that she's with Miki right now?
Still, it didn't explain the situation at all. Going through the happenings again and again resulted with the same conclusion- There was no explanation. No alcohol or a "libido-gone-wild" incident. Hell, she didn't even see Matsuura-san in quite a while. So why did she.. How did they…
Risa's brain was stuck in an infinite loop, trying to figure out what the happened.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SNAP! [bgcolor=#000000]SOMEHOW RISA AND MIKI SWITCHED BODIES!!![/bgcolor]
:mon wtf:
After watching her for a few seconds, Aya decided to try and wake up the other one.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH?!?!!!?? THE...OTHER...ONE?!?!?
:stunned:
She meant "Tan" when she said that, right? 'Cuz if not....dayum... :twisted:
She wetted her hands, letting the water stream over her bare hands. After a few minutes she lifted her hands to her face and rubbed it. Finally, though quite reluctantly, Risa opened her eyes to see a perplexed reflection looking at her within the mirror .
"My beautiful eyebrows"
Hearing her lover's scream, Aya dashed to the toilet. She found the other one lying on the floor, mumbling to herself while constantly rubbing her eyebrows.
:on lol:
The whole situation didn't make sense at all- one moment she was at Ai's place and the other…
'Wait a minute' Risa held on to the thought that popped to her head. 'If I'm here at Matsuura-san's place then it means…'
Risa's eyes widened as this conclusion registered in her mind.
OHSNAP!!! Risa had better hope that they haven't woken up yet, because as much as she loves Aya, you know that Miki wouldn't turn down an opportunity to grope!
:wahaha:
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I liked this chapter :lol: it was hilarious, the eyebrow scene = LMAO!!!
I've made a decision... you officially won the "WTF" pairing award.
You just CAN'T beat Gaki-in-Miki's-bodyX Aya... you just CAN'T!! Hmmmmmmmm....I need to find you a crown now *goes to look for one*
On another note... Kan I haz nuu chapter nao plz .... I reeeeeeaaaaaaaalllllllly wanna know what's going on Miki-in-Gaki's-bodyXAi
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:w00t: thanks for the comments minna ^^
strawb3rrykream: well if it wasn't clear in this chapter.. i'll guess it'll be clearer at the next one .. or else read the comments below.. they kinda answer that.
About possesive Gaki . we know we all love that XD
mads : same answer as i did for berry above ya.. I liked the emoticons for Risa and Miki.. i think it pictures it pretty well.
ringo-hime : what happened to them.. that's what Risa also want to know .. hehe ..
tru_harmony : hmm let's say that Aichan will be very confused about "Gaki"'s behaviour. :roll:
takagakifan : I like this cospiracy.. we'll see.. we'll see
Lolli : Yay Lolli i'm glad you've commented :) .. prince Gaki go save your dear Aichan.
Grisours: yeah i'm having fun writing it ^^
shadowolf8: why thank you.. and i will at least i'll try to update more often :sweatdrop:
meowchi : Risa sure loves her eyebrows and her Aichan :yep:
Ai.love : sorry for that.. but i never gave up on it.. i had my reasons .. :-\
Yukari : LOL i'm glad you've enjoyed it ^^
peti-chan :first answer: hmm well you'll find out about that next chapter
second and third: don't we all want to know that...
JFC: I always liked your long comments
She meant "Tan" when she said that, right? 'Cuz if not....dayum...
yeah she did mean Tan in here ...
poets : :oops: you made me blush ... I'll realy try to update as soon as possible :P
hmm that was kinda long... OK back to work ..
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eh???! where's the update???
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OMG, I can't believe I haven't commented on this before... I have read it, but it must have been when I was in a lurker mood :sweatdrop:
I am sooo sorry :mon innocent:
I really can't wait for an update either... This fic is very different and coz of it, really intriguing!
Like others have said, I think Ayaya will really benefit from the new Miki's soft side and Ai will surely enjoy the friskiness of her new Gaki-san :twisted: But, it should also make the 'real' Miki and Gaki appreciate their partners more... Imagine not being able to touch your lover but yet are still able to watch your real body touch her :( Especially in Gaki's case seeing it's Miki's wandering hands :lol:
Oh and Ai/Miki in Gaki's body is just waaaaay to hot to express in words :drool: :mon blood:
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I want another chap T_T