Pink Vitriol (AtsuMina - COMPLETED) + Sequel - CHAPTER 4 (3/10/2012)

[bou-j525]

I know this has absolutely nothing to do here... but wtf is this new emoticon  O__o

@mangobanana15: Ahh thank you! You have no idea how many time I told myself "Don't write something like this, Takamina would never think that!" >.< But yeah... I hate writing about it...
@sorakamiya: Wow a lot smileys you put there I'm still not sure about my writting style, so thank for telling me I'm great
@Keichan: I will avoid you for the rest of my life if it means updating every two days Coz I know I can't do it. I'm not a ninja and will never be.
@everyone reading: Thank 

Hello everyone! I'm really sorry! I'm horribly late! I know, I have no excuse, especially with the end of the lastest chapter, it's really a bad timing  It's just that...
1- Was busy with school
2-Currently fighting a terrible lack of motivation (my lack of inspiration is KO though... but my motivation is dooooown)... You know... it always happens someday TT__TT I feel sorry for you guys since it's exactly during a crucial part

So yeah, this is my new chapter... I think it is shorter than the others, but I tell you, I don't have motivation It's a miracle if I post tonight (as usual of course, it's always a miracle!... you guys are probably tired of reading my speechs )

Sorry for the mistakes!

Chapter 16

"I'm leaving tomorrow..."

She was staring at the blue sky. There were no clouds at all. So in fact… it was impossible that her departure was cancelled. She was waiting for a plane to fly in front of her eyes… bringing her best friend far from her.

She was going in to leave in…

“Five… four… three… two… one…” Takamina whispered, glancing at her cell phone.

She could hear a distant sound of a plane flying in Tokyo sky. Was it hers? Was she… already gone?

“I’m a coward…” She murmured to herself.

She had not gone to the airport. She had… decided she would not see Acchan the day of her departure. She had spent the morning thinking about what she should do… and she had finished to realize that it was too late to go and see her. Even though she would be gone for six months… Takamina had not moved from her house. She had not sent her a mail… she had not called her… she had just… watched her leave her house in silence yesterday. She had decided she would just stay home today… because she couldn’t think of what would happen when they would meet again. She couldn’t think of what she could say… when she will be in front of Acchan again.

After their… sudden kiss, they had just looked at the other silently. Acchan was too scared to say something… and Takamina couldn’t even think of saying anything. And especially with the announcement of Acchan’s departure, she was… petrified. They were both thinking about what had happened. They couldn’t add anything, thinking of how long six months would be without her. And when Acchan had finally left Takamina’s room in silence after a few minutes… the ex captain had not said anything too. She had just waited to hear the front door close… before starting to cry again.

She didn’t know how to react to this situation… It was so… unexpected! It was so… different from who she was. She was a girl, right? Acchan was too, right? Wasn’t it… impossible for them to have… this kind of relationship? Wasn’t it… just impossible to even just think about… something like that? How could a long-time friendship transform to… love? There were thousand feelings in the world, but it just had to be love?! How could… she miss Acchan so much right now? It was a painful transformation. Love was… not something she could understand. She couldn’t understand what Acchan had done… She couldn’t even understand her own reaction. Why hadn’t she moved away when she had felt Acchan’s lips on hers? Why hadn’t she just… run away?

She kept looking outside, feeling nothing but emptiness as she thought she would not have her best friend by her side for a really long time… And this time, it was even worst… because she was in another country. It wasn’t like she could see her once a month… No, now it was… just about waiting. It was just about trying to find an answer until she came back. Somehow, it was a nice timing… but at the same time, it was probably the worst thing that could ever happen to her right now. To Takamina… it was just about… trying to lie to herself all the time about her feelings until she comes back.

Yes, lying all the time… because right now… she couldn’t deny the fact that… she wanted to feel Acchan’s lips on hers again.

***

The next day, Takamina had called her manager, saying she wanted to begin to think about her solo career soon. They had planned a meeting in two days. Her manager seemed to be truly relieved that Takamina had surpassed her graduation. It was still hard to think about it, but she was ready to start something new. She was ready to start singing again. She hated being inactive so long time.

Today, she was going to AKB48 handshake event, the one announced during Tokyo Dome concert. She had called Akimoto-san before, asking him if it was alright if she came to see everyone, and there was no problem. After all, it was still recent, and she needed to say more to the curious fans too. It was the opportunity to tell the fans about her decision, and to meet them to thank them for so many years of support. It was even announced on TV right now, though she had asked the permission to come the same morning. This handshake was going to be epic.

She left her house, enjoying the fresh air. She was glad she could walk in the street without being too observed. The shock due to her graduation was gone now. People had “accepted” it. She arrived to the handshake event before it began. Of course, she wanted to talk a little with the members before everything, so she had arrived there a few hours before. She knew everyone would be there, preparing everything.

She was not even doing one step among the tables that one of the members spotted her and screamed to the others:

“SHE’S HERE!”

Takamina was immediately surrounded by all the others members and even by some SKE and NMB girls… which was a lot. She could barely understand each of them as she was trying to answer their questions. When she finished answering one, it seemed that ten others arrived. Everything was going so fast that she decided she would just nodded until calm comes back, which was not really long because they all needed to go back to their places to finish preparations.

Takamina smiled. Here was her group… Well, not “her” group, but the group that had a huge part in her heart. The group… she would remember forever. She walked toward the “Team K and Team B” section. Her closest friends… all there… She took time to see everyone, taking news of them, asking them if everything was fine in the group. She was still a captain after all, right? She wanted to cheer for each member of her huge family.

She then walked toward the “TEAM A” section. Seeing everyone from her old team made her feel really nostalgic. She had the feelings she had left yesterday… The wound was still bleeding, even though it hurt a bit less… She talked to everyone, like she did for the others teams, but this time, it felt different. She cared so much for them! It was her own team after all… thinking she would never perform with them again… Team A… Piooner… A3… A4… A5… A6… Everything was coming back, hitting her heart with fierce. It was like she was meeting with her own life. As she was talking to everyone, she was always thinking about a reason why this or that member should be the next captain… Each of them had a quality for this responsibility. Each of them… deserved to be here. One of them… would replace Takahashi Minami sooner or later…

“Takamina!” Miichan screamed as she joined her, soon followed by Haruna and Mariko.

Takamina sighed and tried to hold her tears. No way, she would not start crying already?! But she missed them so much! And it had been only two weeks she had not seen them… What would it be… a month, two months… a year later? They would still stay friends forever, right? There was no way she would ever forget them.

“Look over there!” Haruna said happily, pointing an empty table.

There was nothing to look at. Takamina frowned and smiled awkwardly, not knowing what else to do. Miichan sighed and Haruna just smirked. Mariko laughed at Takamina’s failing and added:

“Look at the name written over it.”

Takamina glanced at the name. What…? There was nothing special. It was just writing “Team A’s captain”. Wait… did that mean…?

“You’re going to name a new captain today?” Takamina asked, almost fearing the answer.

They would… already name another captain? She was really… gone? She always feared that moment… Because to her, when there would be a new captain… it would mean that she was really gone. It was… even more official then her announcement.

“You didn’t change at all, did you?” Haruna smiled.

Miichan and Mariko exchanged glances and began to laugh. Really… Takamina could be so… innocent when she wanted. Or maybe “innocent” wasn’t exactly the right word…

“Yeah, that’s right, we’re going to name a new captain only two weeks after your graduation!” Mariko said ironically. “We didn’t name anybody when Sayaka has resigned her captain responsibility even if it took a long time before she came back, but we are going to replace you now, just a few weeks after your graduation!”

Haruna and Miichan were laughing so hard it was almost impossible to stop them. Just by the look in Takamina’s face, they could tell she believed Mariko.

“What?” Takamina frowned.

“I think you just broke your failing record…” Mariko said, holding her laughs too.

“It’s you, idiot!” Miichan said.

“Me?”

“Yes, you know… the place where fans will come and talk to you?” Miichan added.

“I have… a place?”

Seeing how Takamina was ready to burst in tears, Mariko soon hit her shoulder and answered:

“Of course! It’s a handshake event for the members who were at Tokyo Dome, remember? How could we forget you?”

“Especially with the announcement you made.” Haruna added sadly. “It’s really impossible to forget your presence.”

Takamina nodded slightly, still trying to realize what was going on. She had a place! She was going to meet her fans! She was so happy… yet so nervous. What if the fans were mad at her? What would she do? What could she answer to their questions? She was only supposed to see her friends and talked a little to the public… but now… she had the chance to talk to each of her fans.

“Thank you…” She said to the trio standing in front of her.

They smiled at her and Miichan answered, wrapping her arm around the small girl:

“You’re not only Team’s A captain. You’re AKB48’s captain. You deserve to have a place here.”

The others members of Team A joined them and they started talking about what had happened during the last two weeks. Nothing really important. They had talked a lot about Tokyo Dome concert and her graduation. They didn’t expect it at all, so the entire Team had talked with Akimoto-san about what they were going to do. Hearing this, Takamina immediately bowed, to which the members stopped her, saying it wasn’t her fault. They didn’t know who would be the next captain yet, and honestly, none of them felt she could ever be replaced by someone else.

Takamina really thought they were exaggerating how much she was important to the group, but they kept repeating she was really the most important member of their Team, especially since Acchan’s graduation. They still didn’t know who would sing her solo from A6 and nobody wanted, fearing they would totally ruin the beauty of the song. Same with “Kiseki wa yoru umareru” and “Next heaven” from NO3B unit.

“I’m not so-”

But Takamina’s modesty was cut right away by Sasshi, saying with conviction:

“YOU ARE!”

And everyone else nodded, making Takamina feeling really uncomfortable. They were acting like she was Team A only by herself, which was not true at all! They were all Team A! They were all AKB48! AKB48 couldn’t just be one member! Then it would be… AKB1? It was ridiculous, wasn’t it? She couldn’t represent 48 members just by herself!

“Thank you…” Takamina said, feeling she couldn’t answer anything else.

They made her feel like she had made the wrong decision… They made her feel like… she had been wrong to graduate from the group. The handshake event was about to begin. Before everything started, someone gave a micro to Takamina, saying to announce the beginning of the event. There were speakers everywhere, so fans could hear her very well. And it was probably the last event she would participate ever with the group… so it was needed. She was so nervous… but she still managed to say:

“Hum… Hello everyone…”

God, she needed to breathe! She was going to die from nervousness! What if they were all mad at her! One member against… thousand fans, what would be the result? One dead woman? No doubts about it… but before she could even say something else, she heard applauses coming from everywhere around them.

She was speechless. She couldn’t even say anything else. The fans… were cheering for her. They were thousand to scream and applause… They were thousand to… encourage her. They didn’t even stop a second just to let her keep talking…

“I…”

She stopped. She couldn’t talk. They were still applauding. She couldn’t… just announce the start of the event. It was a real… ovation! She started crying. She couldn’t hold her tears… It was too… intense. She was living a dream… She was… overwhelmed by hundred emotions…

“I…”

Ten minutes passed. The others members were looking at her. They weren’t mad at her. They were really glad she was so much loved by everyone. And it was true she was really an important member, as much as Acchan.

“Can we begin, please?” Takamina asked a staff member, covering the micro with her hand.

She was really thankful for everything but… they would never begin if she couldn’t talk.

“I am sorry, Takahashi-san, but Akimoto-san said we will begin only at your signal.”

They were kidding her, right?!? She would have to stop the fans by herself?! But… but they were screaming so loud! They were giving her so much love, she couldn’t… give tt back…

“But…!” Takamina said, almost praying the guy. “Don’t you see I can’t say anything without making everyone screams?”

She was REALLY feeling uncomfortable with the fact that… it was her fault if there was nothing happening except applauses.

“I can’t believe you already forgot how to do!” Miichan said, walking by her side. “Remember, at Tokyo Dome? We needed to stop all the screams too… You just need to raise your voice more and smile a little. You just need to act… as our captain again.”

As a captain… but she wasn’t captain anymore, was she?

“Of course you are!” Miichan said, knowing what she thought, pushing her a little. “I can’t believe two weeks made you think like an idiot so much!”

But Takamina REALLY couldn’t say anything… What could she do against so much… love?

“Say something or we’re going to die here waiting for you…” Miichan sighed, knowing her friend was too shocked to speak. “Listen, to all them… you were and still are AKB48’s captain. You are… as important as Acchan… You are a legend.”

And Miichan felt like she was not even exaggerating with the last statement. Takamina looked like she was going to die, but still… she took a deep breathe and said loudly:

“Thank you everyone! Now the event will begin! I’m really happy for everything you did for me until now! Let’s have fun one last time like before I leave!”

Finally, everything was beginning. But Takamina felt really nervous, thinking she had to say something at the end too… And just to think she had came here first because she wanted to see her friends… Now she was going to meet her fans… and talk to them… and talk about her graduation again… and probably… she would have to talk about Acchan.

“Are you ready, Takahashi-san?” The bodyguard asked her as the fans began to arrive.

No, she wasn’t. She was going to die. She could not talk to them. She could not face them. She was way too nervous and guilty… but she nodded at the guy. There were soon many people waiting to meet her. God… she was so nervous she was not even crying! It was unusual for her! She soon saw that she was really stressed for absolutely nothing. All the fans were here with smiles on their faces. They were encouraging her for her future career, telling her they were sad she was not with the group, that they would miss her…

Takamina felt her heart screaming for help each time a fan told her AKB48 would not be the same without her. Each time someone told her they would miss her… she was asking herself if she made the best choice to be happy later… Each time a crying fan was walking in front of her, her heart was bleeding. Each time… she saw sadness in a fan’s eyes, she couldn’t help thinking she would give everything just to come back to past and erase this graduation announcement.

She spent many hours, shaking hands with fans. She had more than ever. Some told her she was not their oshimen, but that they needed to wish her the best for the future. Some told her they were usually too shy to come to this kind of event, but that today was a special day. Some were sick and didn’t shake hand with her, but just smiled and congratulated her. Some couldn’t even say anything as they arrived in front of her!

Some were coming from overseas… She had been really surprised when a group of American and Canadian fans had arrived in front of her, their arms full of presents that she had accepted since it was an exception. Talking in English had been really fun. She had accepted with pleasure a book with many encouragement words written by overseas fans. She didn’t know she had so many and was really glad about this. She promised herself to visit all those forums they had talked about… Maybe she would understand something… even if it was all in English. Some were coming from France. Talking in French was much harder, but luckily, the fans talked to her in English too.

But still… seeing overseas fans coming all the way to Japan… made her feel even guiltier about everything. When all those fans would come back to their respective countries… would they all forget about her?

She spent all the day like this, not stopping a second. She even ate while meeting her fans. The others members couldn’t help but laugh at this. Even though Takamina had left the group, she was still acting like a real captain, putting the fans before everything else. When everything was coming to an end, and that she was about to say the end word, a little seven years old girl arrived in front of her. She was the last one from the huge line.

“Hello!” Takamina said, smiling to her.

They could not talk a lot, so the girl went straight to the point:

“I’m sad you leave the group! But I’m glad to know it was to join Acchan! I wish I will have a friendship like yours too!”

Takamina nodded, smiling. If only this girl knew how her life was complicated right now…

“I am sorry.” She repeated for the –she didn’t remember how- time of the day. “I leave AKB48, but you know, it’s not just because of Acchan. I will start my own life too. And a friendship can also brings problems too, so be careful with your friends to not loose them.”

The answer the girl gave her was not what she expected. It was a lot more mature. Takamina had the strange feeling of being in front of herself when she was young…

“But it’s not a problem, pain, you know? Because when you are true friends, you can surpass anything.” The little girl answered.

Suddenly, Takamina couldn’t say anything else.

“You will always be my oshi!” The girl said as she left.

And Takamina was left in front of an empty line. That child right now… had just completely brought her back memories. If they were real friends… Acchan and she could surpass anything… even…

“It’s time for you to speak!” A guy told her, stopping her thoughts.

Takamina sighed. Now… she would really and definitely leave AKB48… for the second time.

“Everyone, thank for coming today!” She started as the crowd screamed.

It was going to be a long and painful speech.

***

“You were awesome!” Miichan said.

The handshake event was done. They, Takamina, Miichan, Haruna and Mariko, were eating in a nice restaurant. Team A’s first generation’s first meeting since Tokyo Dome concerts.

“What you said, it was perfect! I think the fans already forgive you for leaving the group.” Miichan continued.

“Don’t say that…” Takamina mumbled, still wondering about what the little girl had told her.

It was sure unusual to think deeply about things, especially in her situation now… She regretted not being there at the airport to say “good bye” to Acchan. She wished she had been there, just to tell her she would miss her. She wished… she could see her right now… She had sent her mails, but the only answers she received was that everything was fine… and that Acchan had a lot of things to do, so she didn’t have time to speak with her. Wasn’t it exactly the opposite of what had happened a while ago with her? Before, Acchan had a lot of free time while she hadn’t… and now… the opposite.

The group started talking about everything as they always did when they were together. They talked about the future of the group. Takamina wanted to hear about it. If everything was fine at the beginning, the atmosphere soon became sad when both Mariko and Haruna started talking about graduation. Sooner or later… the group would loose all the first generation members.

They all ate in silence before Takamina finally broke the awkward moment, asking:

“Are you sure about it, Mariko?”

The tall idol nodded.

“Yes… I mean… I’m the older. I think I should leave soon. I still can’t believe both Acchan and you left before me!”

“You are all leaving…” Miichan sighed. “It’s depressing.”

“I wanted to leave sooner, you know…” Mariko said “But then you decided to graduate… So I thought I should wait a little, just to give time to the fans.”

“Me too…” Haruna whispered.

“What about you?” Takamina asked, not understanding what her friend was saying.

“She wants to join SDN48.” Miichan said. “But she doesn’t because of Yuko.”

“It’s not only because of Yuko!” Haruna protested.

Takamina smirked.

“Yuko would follow her anywhere.” Mariko said.

“She wants to be an actress.” Haruna said. “If I left, she would too, but in another direction. She would work to reach her dream and I would work as an idol.”

“Is that what you call “not only because” of someone?” Miichan said. “It looks like Yuko’s the only reason why you haven’t left so far.”

“Of course not!”

Really? Takamina doubted about it. Haruna could leave whenever she wanted. She was gorgeous and the fans loved her. She would be accepted anytime in SDN. Seeing how the others were looking at her, Haruna said:

“Stop looking at me like I am Takamina denying things about Acchan!”

“Hey!” The ex captain growled. “Don’t talk about me and Acchan, it’s totally not the same thing!”

“Oh, so you admit there is something between you and Acchan!” Miichan smiled. “We sure can’t compare Yuko and Acchan after all.”

Takamina pretended to pout, but soon remembered her problem. There WAS something between her and Acchan, she couldn’t deny it… not with that had happened to them. There was something… and it was way beyond everything she ever thought it would be. Now that she remembered well… this warm feeling she had when she was with Acchan… she never had it when she was with the others. She never had so much pleasure with the others… She knew it was kind of harsh to say, but this strange feeling… was gone now. And since she had kind of accepted the existence of this feeling inside her… it felt like another part of her was missing too.

“Did you talk about it to Yuko?” Mariko asked.

She was now used to work with gay people. So she could just help them anyway instead of laughing at them… except for Takamina. It was too funny to tease her. Yeah, Takamina would always be the exception.

“I tried…” Haruna hesitated. “But… you know when you’re talking to someone like Yuko…”

“Let me guess… you ended up doing something else?” Miichan smirked.

“N-not what you guys are thinking about!” Haruna said. “It’s just… I don’t want to see her cry… She is so happy to be with me…”

The way Haruna had said it was so cute that the others couldn’t help but smile nicely at her. It was really rare that she said something like this about the relationship they had together. She looked like she really cared about what was going to happen when they would be too old to stay in the group. She was thinking about it… since a really long time already.

“I think… she will understand.” Mariko said. “Both of you fear what is going to happen, don’t you? But… I think love can surpass anything.”

Takamina flinched, thinking it looked pretty much like what the little girl had said. Except this time… it was about love, not friendship.

“It will be hard at the beginning, but I know Yuko will not leave you just for that.” Mariko added. “You should really have a talk with her before.”

They all stared at Haruna, who was deeply thinking about it. It was sure difficult for her to think about all the different “what if” that could happen. What if Yuko didn’t want to be with her? What if she wasn’t accepted in SDN48? What if Yuko stopped loving her someday? What if… she was left alone after AKB48? She wanted to ask Acchan or Takamina about it since their case looked similar, but she knew… they weren’t exactly at the same point in their relationship. They weren’t… as far as Yuko and she were.

“I guess you’re right…” She sighed, looking at the picture she always kept with her.

Yuko and her, smiling… like they were alone in the world… She still couldn’t believe she could love someone as pervert as Yuko… as stupid and excited as her… as crazy and immature… but still… someone she could laugh with every time… someone who could make her feel better when something was wrong…

“I’m going to talk to her later…” Haruna decided.

“Thank God, at least there’s someone here knowing what she wants!” Miichan laughed. “I was becoming crazy with Takamina, you know?”

Takamina didn’t answer, just stared angrily at Miichan. She didn’t want to talk about it. Her friends didn’t know anything about the real torture she was going through right now. And still… that “friendship/love can surpass anything” was beginning to drive her madder than ever. This feeling… should she look for it? Since it had disappeared with Acchan’s departure… should she try to find it again?

“So… anything new?” Miichan asked.

“You have no idea” Takamina thought.

“Not really…” the ex member sighed. “I was thinking I would start working in two days… but you know… the more I think about it… the less I want to start.”

Sure, she wanted to sing… but not now. Not with everything… not with what had happened with her best friend… if she could still call her, her “best friend”.

“I’ve never thought I would live long enough to see Takamina becoming lazy.” Haruna laughed, forgetting about her own problem. “You’ll begin your solo career now, right?”

“Yes…” Takamina nodded. “I want to practice a little by myself before anything else.”

“I’m sure your first single will be about love.” Mariko smirked.

Love? Yeah… of course. Maybe about how love was cruel. About how complicated it was to realize her feelings… how hard it was to talk about it with the other person… how bad she felt because of this painful feelings she had in her heart… how regretful she felt when she thought about not going to see Acchan yesterday… Yeah… that would make a perfect song! And how about a song talking about a warm feeling which “love” may not be the definition?

“Maybe… who knows?” Takamina just answered.

“I bet Acchan knows!” Miichan laughed, raising her arm like she was the best for guessing that.

Mariko rolled her eyes as Haruna was texting a certain someone. Takamina just ignored her. She would have plenty time to think about it… LATER… or never.

“We’re going to practice tomorrow morning…” Mariko announced. “I think it’s for the new single that’s coming in three months.”

“Really? How is it?” Takamina asked, suddenly much more interested in that conversation.

Speaking about what was going to happen within the group helped her to “forget” a little about the fact that… she was not part of it. It was nice to hear about it. She laughed at some jokes and insides from Team A members, gave advices to them about how doing some stuffs and all… She was still acting like their captain. In fact, if it wasn’t for that announcement she did during Tokyo Dome concert… everything would be perfect. 

They talked about the group for at least an hour, remembering things and bringing some news things that were going to happen later… Takamina was surprised to learn about the fact that all the products with her name or anything that was linked to her were breaking record of sales. In the theatre shop, fans needed to command products because nothing was left. Takamina’s graduation… had made the fans buy everything about her. She didn’t know if she should be glad about it or not… After all, the result was the same: money into Akimoto-san’s wallet.

“So…” Miichan said as they were leaving the restaurant.

They were going to be separated again.  But at least… they had had fun tonight. And Takamina was glad about the whole day. Meeting her fans… meeting her friends… talking about the group… feeling like she had never left AKB48… it was everything she needed to be able to move on now.

“Talk to you later, guys!” Takamina said smiling awkwardly at her friends, not really good when it came to feelings and all.

“We’ll miss you!” Mariko said, creating a big group hug.

Team A’s first generation then walked in separated ways. It wasn’t long until Takamina heard her name screamed behind her. She turned around and stopped walking, seeing Miichan running after her.

“Is everything alright?” She asked.

“What are you talking about?” Takamine frowned.

Miichan looked at her in the eyes.

“I went to see Acchan yesterday at the airport.” She told her friend. “I found it weird that you weren’t there with her… since you had nothing to do… and I have to admit… Acchan looked troubled when I mentioned you.”

“It’s nothing.” Takamina immediately answered, trying to look calm.

“Did something happen between you?” Miichan insisted.

She really looked like she wanted to know everything, which was true. Yesterday, Acchan seemed depressed to death, even though she was trying to smile to her. Miichan had no idea why she looked this way, but she hated seeing her friend like this. She was ready to bet a million yens that it was something about Takamina… again. As for Takamina… she knew she could trust her friend, but she didn’t want to tell her exactly what had happened when she was still really… confused about it.

“Yes…” She said slowly. “Something did happen… but you don’t have to worry about it. I’m currently… trying to find what I need to know…”

“Don’t take too much time then…” Miichan said.

“Are you kidding me?” Takamina said, frowning. “I have six months to wait! I have plenty of time!”

Six long and painful months… before seeing her again… before knowing what was going to happen to their friendship…

“I know it looks like it’ll be long…” Miichan warned her. “But I think you should not wait too long. Call her. I know it seems stupid, but call her and talk about it. I’m sure she’d rather know about it now than in six months… even if you’re not talking to her in person. You know… don’t you think both of you already suffer enough?”

Takamina didn’t answer at the question and just looked away as Miichan left in the opposite direction. She couldn’t help thinking her friend was right. And somehow… she felt that it was her own fault if pain was still present in their fragile relationship.

***

Takamina was buying a bento in a conbini. It was late. Almost midnight. She had worked all day, talking and practicing for her first single that would be out in three months. She needed to be perfect. Since she wasn’t in AKB48 anymore, she needed to gain news fans. Sure, she knew AKB fans still supported her, but a solo career couldn’t be only based on it. She needed to have news fans, coming from everywhere in Japan. As Miichan had predicted, it was a love song. It was hard to say if it was a happy or a sad one though… sometimes, it sounded like it was about an impossible relationship, sometimes it sounded like lovers were living together all the time. Though it could also sounded like a friendship song… Two friends having a really great complicity… a pretty great song indeed. A nice mix of pop and rock music.

It had been four months now… since Acchan had left Japan. She was doing fine in South Korea… or at least that was what she was saying to her friends. Takamina… had begun to work again about her own career… AKB48’s new single was out since a month… she had participated to a lot of TV shows… everything was alright. She was talking to her friend at phone, sometimes just a few minutes, enough for both of them to gain strength. Most of the time, they were only writing mails to the other since they didn’t know when they would both be free. They didn’t talk about what had happened between them before the departure. They didn’t… mention it. Sometimes, there were awkward silences… but they never talked about it, even though they both secretly wanted to. It was really a… hard subject.

Takamina sighed, thinking of how she could wait two others months. She was putting her soul into her single, hoping it would help her to forget the emptiness she felt in her heart without Acchan by her side… but it didn’t work at all. Never, not once, had she stopped thinking about her… about her presence… about the feeling of having her lips pressing on hers. She was… more confused than ever. She wanted to find an answer about it before Acchan came back to Tokyo. She wanted to find an answer to that primordial question… but she couldn’t even find this warm feeling she was looking for.

Was it really… love? Was it… only love?

And if so… what would she do? Would she… let the feeling control her and confess to her best friend? Or would she avoid it for the rest of her like… hurting her friend like she did long time ago with Hiroko?

Whatever the answer was… she could not just forget it. It was way different than before now. Not the same situation, not the same age, not the same feelings… but still… two girls together… it would be bad for their careers if media learned about it. It could ruin their careers, knowing how much this situation was taboo in Japan. There was a lot of stuff to considerate now! She wasn’t young and innocent anymore. She had new responsibilities, new objectives for the future.

She shook her head, trying to calm. Each time she thought about Acchan… her heart was racing. Each time she thought of the relationship they could have… her breath was becoming irregular. Each time she thought about their future first meeting when she would come back… she put a finger on her lips, wondering what was going to happen.

She decided to look some magazines, just so she could think about something else. But she was totally wrong thinking it would help her. In fact, on the cover of one of them was written in huge letter:

Is Maeda Atsuko in love with a Korean guy?

“What the…?” Takamina thought, opening it.

“Famous actress, Maeda Atsuko, was seeing going to a hotel with a guy Saturday night. Even if her manager, Hiroko-san, denies everything about a possible relationship, some pictures showing them looking really happy together are already on Internet. The identity of the guy is still unknown, but according to some witnesses, they looked like they were having a lot of fun, laughing together. Is it a potential boyfriend for the actress? We have to say that, since she couldn’t date anyone when she was with AKB48, it would not be surprising if she wanted to begin a serious relationship now!”

There were only two pages about it, but the second one showed pictures of them, taken by the camera of security. Looked like the owner of the hotel had sold the pictures to the media… Money… made people crueller.

“… begin a serious relationship…” Takamina whispered to herself as she closed the magazine.

Acchan… couldn’t really date this guy, right? It wasn’t a scandal. Acchan was free to do anything she wanted now that she was “only” an actress. Though Takamina doubted about it. Acchan was famous. She could date anybody. She could have everything she wanted. Why would Acchan care about waiting for someone as unsure as her when she could have… a freaking hot guy, judging by the pictures. Taller than Acchan, thin, dark short hair… he seemed sure of himself, having a big smile on his face… Well, maybe since the pictures were not so clear… In fact… he seemed to be everything Takamina wasn’t.

Takamina frowned. It may just be a rumour… but if the media gave so much importance to something like this… what would it be if they decided to be together? Two girls… in Japan… a famous actress and a solo singer… What would it be… if they really decided to go out together? They would have to live in secret for the rest of their life… It sounded… horrible. And how would she tell her parents?! And her friends? Though Miichan and Mariko seemed to have already adopted the idea of the two of them being together… And what about all the responsibilities now?! She would need to be extra careful about what she would do with Acchan now!

She hit herself with her hand, feeling stupid to think about all the consequences when she didn’t even know what to do about… everything. First, she needed to know what she was going to do when Acchan would come back. And… she would think about the rest later. Yeah, later… “never” would be better, but it was kind of impossible. Damn magazine for making her thinking about… everything she was going through.

But somehow… she couldn’t help feeling a bit jealous about the whole thing. Acchan and a guy… having fun? They were not “just” having fun… they seemed to be a real couple… Anybody would see them as lovers by looking at the pictures… Not only was it a “scandal” for Acchan… it was also like a dagger was piercing right through Takamina’s heart…

But there was no blood coming from the wound… since everything was already gone at Acchan’s departure.

***

“I know it look suspicious, but there’s nothing going on between us!”

Takamina stared at the mail she just received from Acchan. The ex captain had asked the actress about it, pretending to be only “worry about her career”. Well, it wasn’t only because of it… but Acchan didn’t need to know about the other reason.

Jealousy.

Takamina sighed, not knowing what to answer to this. “Thank?” No… it would be weird. “I’m relieved”? No… “Be careful about others rumours”? Maybe… She suddenly began to hate herself. Since when EXACTLY did she think so much about what she was going to answer?!! Was it a consequence from… love? She used to answer anything to anyone, not really taking care of thinking about what the person would think about it… and now she couldn’t answer just a sentence to Acchan without fearing her reaction. What if she didn’t answer “THE” best answer? Like… what if she didn’t answer the “NUMBER ONE” answer, the one that would make Acchan happier? What if her mail looked strange? What if…

“I’m becoming… crazy…” Takamina thought.

She didn’t know what to do… if it was love, she hated it. Always fearing the other’s reaction… she felt like she was loosing her liberty. She felt like… if she did something bad, she would loose her friend… After all, her personality wasn’t “perfect” all the time and she felt Acchan deserved more than that. Acchan deserved someone… much better than her. She sure hadn’t realized that it was exactly because of her crazy personality that Acchan had first fall in love with her.

Her phone suddenly rang and she answered, seeing it was her manager.

“Takahashi-san? I got an idea for your PV…”

“Yes?”

Takamina listened to the idea, frowning at some part, especially the beginning. Her manager wanted… Acchan to participate? Maybe it would be a nice thing. Since she had left AKB48 since already a few months… having Acchan in her PV could help her to boost her popularity. And since the song wasn’t only a love song… it could be a great idea. The thing was… they could easily play a friendship scene too. Like a friend chasing after the other because of a problem or because of something about forbidden love between two girls… And everything would be fine at the end… or maybe it could be a sad ending too… after all, the song could mean almost everything! Was her manager reading in her mind?! It was exactly the problem she had now! Maybe having a PV like this… would help her… not only to see her friend, but also to realize everything? Because, yes, she was still unsure about… everything.

“It can be great…” Takamina answered after ten minutes.

And she was sure there were still some “TakAcchan” or “AtsuMina” fans somewhere in the world… so that could help her to start her career too.

“Great! I was hoping you would like it… because I already arranged everything with Maeda-san’s manager.”

What was the point of asking her if it was fine if everything was already arranged?!

“Really?” Takamina asked, not really knowing what to say else.

“Yes, when she will come back, we’ll start working on it. So we will be ready for the release a month later and we will give some previews to the fans.”

Great… her manager seemed to do all the job at her place. She could just wait until Acchan came back… and see how things would go.

“Alright… well… call me if there’s anything new!”

She closed her phone, wondering if everything was really going to be great… but yeah, why not? After all, it would be only like… doing a PV with her best friend so she could finally start a nice career… Nothing could be bad about it, right?

“Wait… Hiroko accepted?!” Takamina suddenly realized.

Why would Hiroko accept to work with… her? Why would she accept to even just see her? She had clearly said… she didn’t want to know her anymore, right? Did it have something to do with the rumour? No… there was no possible link between the two. Then… why? Hiroko would never want to help her or anything to start her career… she hated her! It’s not really usual to help enemies, right? Anyway… if there were no problems, then everything should be fine. They would do the PV… and leave in different ways after. 

“Like usual…”

She left the conbini and walked to her home. She was always worrying for nothing… maybe she was just too stressed because of her single… After all… if it didn’t sell enough… it would be a bad start for her solo career. And she needed to have popularity… because if not, she had no idea what she was going to do. She had left AKB48… but she was not even sure if she could really have fans by herself now… She really hoped it would be fine. Not only for herself… but also because she wanted to make Acchan proud of herself… without really knowing why she had this desire.

Two months later

Takamina was working on her single at home. She had recorded the song two weeks ago and it sounded great. She had a team to work with and was glad everything was fine. She had given some interviews at some TV shows, talking about her graduation and her solo career… she had cried each time she had mention AKB48 though… She was really emotional about it. She still thought about it every night… wondering if she had made the great choice… but her answer, she would have it only after the release of her single. In one month. One long month… where she would have to work with no one but… her.

And “her”… she was coming back tonight. At eleven, twenty minutes and forty-three seconds exactly.... Takamina would sure go and welcome her… but she was still wondering about the idea. Going to see her at the airport… meant she would see her manager too. And she really didn’t want to have problems, especially now that she knew they were all going to work together like a big team! Oh God… that was not going to be fun.

Six months had passed. It had been long and short… sometimes painful, sometimes perfectly fine… Sometimes she would have given anything just to see Acchan… others times she was avoiding her call because she didn’t know what to say… But all the time… no exception… she had always thought about what had happened before her departure… and how she would act when they would meet for the first time.

Once, she had watched news on TV, listening to nothing when they had talked about Acchan. They had said she was doing great at South Korea. She had many fans and was probably going to come back soon to shoot a drama with some of their mains stars. To Takamina… there was no way she was going to let her leave again so long time. Seriously… she had left the group… and now all she had was… “Acchan would go to Korea for six months”. It was… insulting. No wonder why she was wondering if she had done the best choice with this situation! But… it was nice to hear Acchan was fine.

The event with the guy wasn’t forgotten from some anti-fans, but they now knew that it was only a friend she had met during a party… which somehow didn’t help Takamina to feel better about it. They had met at the hotel to go to a reception or something… though nobody had seen them after the whole thing… but Takamina trusted Acchan. She would do nothing with a stranger anyway… and Acchan would tell her if there was a problem. They were really close now… More than ever…

“I wonder… what is going to happen…”

Takamina had thought about what to say to Acchan when she would see her again… she had imagine a whole scenario about them… but she knew it would not be this way when it would really happen. They would probably just act as usual… and forget about the kiss… and somehow… Takamina didn’t want to forget about it… because she wanted to feel this way again. She wanted to feel… so much joy in her heart again. She had tried everything to feel it again during those six months! She really had! She had ate a lot of katsudon, she had talked to the members of AKB48, she had visited her family, she had gone to places she liked, she had sung a lot at karaoke… in fact she had done everything she liked! But… she had never felt this way… this warm feeling seemed to be gone.

She stopped thinking about it. She would probably never feel this way again… maybe it was something one felt only once in his life? Yeah… it must be that. Anyway… they were friends… real friends… so they could surpass anything… right?

She was about to continue practicing some vocal things for her single when the doorbell rang. Frowning, she was waiting nobody, she went to open the door. There was… nothing. No one, no package, no… letter or anything. Thinking it must have been a joke from some kids, she just closed the door. A second later, it rang again. She opened it quickly, but there was still no one.

“Stupid kids…” Takamina thought as she went back in her room, ready to work again.

She started thinking about how the PV should be when the doorbell rang again. She didn’t even left her room, knowing there would be nobody. After all… why would she care about answering to a ghost? She looked at the clock. It was soon five in the afternoon. In six hours… Acchan would come back. She needed to decide NOW if she was going to see her at the airport… and she decided that, yes, she would. Because she had already missed her departure… she would not miss her arrival too… right? Sure… she would go…

The doorbell rang again. And again… and a third time… and…

“What’s going on here?!” Takamina said as she ran downstairs.

As she reached the door, she realized it had stopped again. She sighed loudly and was about to go back to her room, but as she turned around, it rang again. Pissed off, she answered with a harsh tone:

“What do you want?! Don’t you see I’m-”

And suddenly she stopped talking, speechless, nervous and… well… shy.

“I’ve never thought you would be so angry to see me again.” Acchan said, smirking.

Takamina held her breathe as she saw who was standing there, in front of her.

“We took another plane.” Acchan answered to her silent question, still smiling.

But the ex captain could not do anything else than staring at the actress, feeling the whole mix of emotions she had had during those past six months disappear from her body. Only one feeling remained. She felt like a part of her was coming back at the same time… Her eyes… were just glued on her friend… like she had never seen her before… Like she was seeing her in a different way now… Like she knew her very well, yet like she was a complete stranger. In fact… just by looking at Acchan… her heart was taken over by this feeling… the one she had chased all the time without reaching it… And now… she knew she could put the right name on it… without doubt or fear… or anything else… without lying to herself anymore… like… she was finally accepting her true self. She knew she could finally tell Acchan about it too. She… will sure tell Acchan about it now that she was back.

Enough lies, all she needed, she had it in front of her… and engraved in her soul forever.

Love.

TBC

End note: Will fight my lack of motivation and try to come back next week! (I said "try")
End note2: I did more than 300 pages so far on microsoft word ! It's all thank to you guys!!!!! 
End note 3: It seems finally (FINALLY) Taka knows she's an L. Now... what will she say to Acchan? Remember, she's not supposed to know Acchan loves her. They only kissed but Acchan never confess to her

[mangobanana15]

Oh noooo you're unmotivated!! TIME TO SPAM THE SMILEYSSS!    I BELIEVE IN YOUUUU!

OMGG FINALLYY Takamina realizes that she has feelings for Aachan!

but i wonder how will she confess it? Her worries are gonna be a huge problem for making this relationship happen

man it would be soo AWESOMEE if Aachan and Takamina did have a mv together

i thought this chapter was great despite your lack of motivation

UPDATE SOOOOON!! (lol i think the emoticon is a bit strange too )

[sorakamiya]

bou-j525, you said it's not long????   yeah it's not really looooong.... and it TBC in the exciting part... aaarrrrgghhhht.... you try to kill me.... but I still like this story... you are greeeaaaaat as usuaaaaal....

i know how it feel when in the lack of inspiration phase... so good luck... I know you can do it...

I'll always support you ....

please update as soon as you can...

[A1]

Just caught up on the whole story so far and I have to say is about damn time Takamina. Hopefully she will go through and confess her feelings.

[kahem]

OMG I love it!!! So hard to contain my smile when reading it lol
Takamina finally realized her feelings yeah!! I wonder if hiroko would help takacchan to get together ^^
I like how miichan can looks mature sometime
If you don't have motivation you can listen 'korogaru ishi ni nare' with the wotagei. Each time I need motivation I listen it xD

[bou-j525]

mangobanana15: LOL Thank for the smileys It didn't help me to have 100% of my motivation back, but at least I look at them and it helped me finishing this chapter
@sorakamiya: Thank for encouraging me! I'm sorry to say it, but I think my chapters will be shorter from now on, sorry -_-' And yeah, I'm trying to kill everyone because everyone is trying to kill me. So I have to protect myself
@A1: You'Re right, it took me a long time to make her realize her feelings But better late than never
@kahem: Thank for the advice! I listened to it and LOL They are so energic I was like O_O all the time, but hey, it helped me! 
@everyone readingThank you 

So yeah, I'm back! It did take a bit less time to post this chapter ^^ I have half of my motivation back so far... and since I have a new job... well I guess I won't have a lot of time to write, sorry about that! I'm really trying guys... but yeah I'm stuck with an idea I can't write T__T

I hope you will enjoy this chapter  I'm sure... you will all hate me after

Sorry for the mistakes!
Chapter 17 (Already?! O____o)

I am living a dream… but I am awake… how can it be possible?

I am laughing… but my heart hurts… how can it be possible?

I am smiling… but I want to cry… how can it be possible?

It’s the same as the fact that…

I am in love with her…but we’re both girls… how can it be possible?


***

Acchan… smiling… carrying her bags… looking exhausted by the trip… and most of all, standing in front of her… It wasn’t a dream. And Takamina was pretty sure the feeling she had in her heart wasn’t one either.

Love.

How could she have not known it was… love? Miichan had told her… and so had Mariko… and probably each member of AKB48 too… Even… Hiroko had warned her about it… She was… really the stupidest person ever.

“Takamina? Is everything fine… you look like you are not happy to see me…” Acchan said with an innocent voice, though still with a sad tone too.

Not happy to see her? How could she not be happy to see her… She had waited so long just to hear her voice this way… She had waited so long just… to be able to see her… just to scent her smell… just to see her smile… just to… be with her. It was… something she didn’t want to feel again. The feeling of her heart crying because she was missing… she didn’t want to feel it ever again. And if she needed to live with her… she would... just so she would never be separated from her. She knew the only thing that could happen from now… was happiness. Because right now… nothing could be sad since she was finally back. And wasn’t it a quote saying that “if one loves until it hurts, then there can be no more hurt, only more love”?

“I… just can’t believe you’re here right now…” Takamina said softly as she wrapped her arms around her friend’s shoulder, hugging her just to make sure… Acchan was really there.

The actress was surprised, but relieved. She had come here as soon as she had said “bye” to her manager at the airport. During all the way in taxi, she had been horribly anxious. She really wanted to see her friend… but she was afraid to death of what her reaction would be. The last time they had seen each other… she had just left Takamina’s house in silence after… she had listened to her desire. And her friend hadn’t come to see her the day of her departure. Acchan had thought she was mad at her… or that she was ignoring her… so when she had talked to her at phone, she had been really happy to hear the same voice she liked so much. But she also knew that talking to someone at phone was way different than in real life. She was afraid Takamina must avoid her when she would come back… so just to feel her body close to hers… was more than what she ever wanted.

“I’m back…” She whispered into Takamina’s ear.

Acchan had the strange feeling that their friendship was not the same since her graduation, two years ago… She had the feeling… each time they met after a long time, they were starting everything from the beginning, like their friendship never resist to so much time, but that they always started a new one after. It looked like… a friendship that had the characteristic of a phoenix. She had the feeling… their friendship was born in a new way this time… because she could hear Takamina’s heart beating faster than ever. She wondered what it meant… but she was glad to know she was so important to her friend. Maybe… kissing her would not destroy their friendship after all.

They stayed like this for a moment. They didn’t need to say anything. The fact that they were so close now talked for them. They had missed being together… a lot.

“I missed you… but I feared this meeting too.” Acchan added, stopping the hug.

Takamina smiled to her friend. Now that she was back, nothing could ever be down in her life. So she could listen to what her friend had to say… then… she would talk too. She would… probably finally tell her friend the truth about her feelings… hoping it wasn’t too late to be honest. Finally… she was being herself.

The singer knew what Acchan wanted to talk about. She already knew what was going to happen… The question she had in mind was more “what will the result be?” and “what consequences will it have on their friendship?” Would Acchan… confess to her before she had the chance to? Would Acchan… even mention it?

“Come inside.” Takamina invited her.

They went in the living room, both glancing everywhere but at the other. It seemed that their happiness had suddenly been replaced by shyness. After six months… they should have a lot of things to talk about… but now, it seemed that talking was useless. There was an awkward silence for a long time until Takamina asked:

“So… Everything was fine during your trip?”

Great. Now, they would just talk about anything else so they could avoid the subject.

“Yeah… I got a lot of new fans, so even my manager was happy. And the food was excellent!” Acchan nodded.

“Food?”

“Yes! I found a nice meal… you should try it too, there’s pork in so I’m sure you would like it! Next time I’m going, come with me!”

Acchan sounded so enthusiast that Takamina couldn’t help wondering if she was “that” happy to go back to Korea someday. Was Acchan… happy to leave her? Would she… kiss her like she did when she would leave? Just for that… Takamina could feel strength to wait for another six months.

“And there was a really good pasta dish… I forgot the name… but it was definitely the best of all!”

Takamina laughed a little, hearing that food was what Acchan remembered the most. Her friend hadn’t changed at all. The ex-captain wondered if her friend’s feelings hadn’t changed too…? After all, after so many months being in Korea, it would be normal if Acchan had… changed her mind. In six months, a lot of things could be different. What if she had forgotten about their kiss? Takamina panicked at this idea, but soon calm herself. Kissing her best friend… wasn’t something easy to forget, right? There was no way Acchan would forget since… she was the one doing it.

“And you? Did something new happen when I was gone?”

“Yeah, of course, I realized that I was actually in love with you.” Takamina thought, answering at the same time:

“Nothing really important… I was thinking a lot about my solo debut…”

“I see… but you don’t have to worry about it. My manager told me about your song. I’ve even listened to it since it is supposed to help me to think about what kind of PV would go with it. I’m sure you’ll have an immediate success! The song’s really nice! Is it… about someone in particular?”

Takamina flinched at Acchan’s question. The lyrics could easily be mistaken. There were a lot of “I love you, BUT…” lines. She hadn’t really thought about it… but now she realized that it would fit perfectly at their current situation, which made her blush a little. Could it be possible that Acchan thought it was… about them? No… right?

“No… I didn’t write the lyrics anyway so…” She explained.

“Ah… Then, you shouldn’t worry too much. It’ll be awesome!”

Strangely, hearing that from her closest friend helped Takamina to stop being nervous. It was like… only Acchan had this power to make her feel better instantly. She smiled at this “revelation”. It could only mean one thing if only Acchan had this power… it could only mean that she was really in love with her. Maybe… she could bring the subject now? But… what if Acchan didn’t want to talk about it? What if she had really forgotten about it? Should they just… ignore it and wait for everything to come back to normal?

“I heard you got new friends too…” Takamina hesitantly started.

Surprisingly, the actress just laughed at it.

“You’re talking about the guy the news were talking about, aren’t you? Don’t worry, my manager told me she would take care of this scandal by herself. It didn’t affect me at all. I found it funny how they were talking about it… you know, I’ve never thought media could talk so much about something so… stupid!”

Acchan seemed really confident about it, like she was already ready to answer this kind of question. It seemed that her answer was prepared and known by heart, which Takamina didn’t like a lot. She didn’t know if Acchan was serious… or if she was just repeating what her manager had told her to. But deeply, Takamina knew Acchan would never lie about… well, like she said, something so stupid and insignificant.

“So… he’s really just a friend? There were so many rumours, you know? I was afraid it might become a nuisance to you or something…”

“Of course he’s just a friend I’ve met during a party. He’s really nice! You should meet him too, you would soon become friends, I’m sure! And he’s really a gentleman, he wouldn’t want me to get involved into a scandal.”

Acchan looked so happy talking about him that Takamina immediately wanted to talk about something else. Whoever the guy was… she was sure of something: she didn’t want to meet him. Seeing her best friend suddenly changed her facial expression, Acchan grinned.

“You look like you are jealous.”

“I’m not.” Takamina growled.

She regretted those words as soon as she finished pronouncing them. If she denied it… then she would never be able to confess to Acchan. But if she told Acchan that… she was jealous… then it could help her to bring the kiss subject in the conversation! And it could eventually help her to confess! From Takamina’s point of view, it seemed to be the perfect scenario. But of course… nothing ever happened like Takamina wanted, so why would it start today?

“Don’t worry about it, Takamina.” Acchan smiled innocently. “I’m never going to love anybody more than you… especially... with what happened.”

Takamina blushed at the mention of… this event. But at least, she was still calm. She knew she couldn’t avoid the subject and she also understood that… her feelings had changed too. She needed to tell her friend about it… even if she’d rather deny everything again. Life was way easier by ignoring and avoiding things… but no one could ever survive this way. She couldn’t help fearing what was going to happen if one of them confessed to the other. What would happen to their relationship, to their strong bond? Would they even just be able to look at the other? What if… everything was broken because of it? Would she ever be able to forgive herself to feel this way?

Takamina shook her head. She needed to know. If she was going to work with Acchan for the following month… she couldn’t let it go… even if she knew she was playing her life right now. Damn… she hated herself so much at the same time… why did she have to feel this way? Why couldn’t she be… normal?! She sighed. She wasn’t abnormal… she was just… in love.

“But you know…” Takamina started shyly before being interrupted by Acchan.

“Takamina, about it… I’m sorry.” The actress apologized.

Takamina immediately forgot about everything she was going to say to Acchan. Why was… she apologizing?

“I know I must have surprised you…” Acchan said, looking at the floor, smiling sadly. “I know… I shouldn’t have done that. I know how you hate it when we’re… too close, so I’m sorry. Even though I was leaving for six months, it was stupid from me to… kiss you.”

Acchan shivered as she thought about how she had felt when Takamina’s lips were on hers… For a moment, it seemed that the actress wanted to add something else. It seemed that she was holding her words, trying at the same time to hold her feelings. But all she did was staring at her friend without adding the most important part: she didn’t regret anything. She didn’t regret it because… it was everything she ever wanted. She… couldn’t regret it. In fact… she would give everything she had just to do it again.

During those six months, each time Takamina was on her mind… she remembered this feeling called love. She remembered the meeting of their lips, wanting it to happen again. But now… in front of her… she was aware that the singer would never love her the way she did. How she felt about Takamina… it was even stronger than love’s definition. It hurt her… but, knowing this, the only thing she could say to Takamina in order to save their friendship was “I’m sorry” and…

“Can we just… forget about it?” She asked, trying to smile, pretending there was nothing to worry about while her heart was bleeding like never before.

Can we just… forget about it?”

Those six words… pierced Takamina’s heart so hard she could barely breathe. Six horrible words… even more painful than the six months she just spent without Acchan by her side. What… had she just said?

“What?” The smaller girl whispered, trying to not faint.

“Just forget about it...” Acchan repeated, avoiding her friend’s glance, still pretending there was nothing to care about. “I shouldn’t have done that. I mean… we’re friends aren’t we? So what I’ve done was really stupid.”

Takamina didn’t react, except a slight nod. The splendid speech she had prepared to confess her feelings… was suddenly vanished. She could say nothing to Acchan… absolutely nothing. The words wouldn’t come out… even if she wanted to scream.

“I’m sorry,” Acchan repeated again, like she had to do it to convince herself too, “I will never do it again.”

“What if I wanted you to do it…”  Takamina thought silently.

What was this feeling… this pain growing in her mind…? Wasn’t it better this way? Wasn’t it better to just agree with what Acchan said? Just to do like… everything never happened? They could just forget about the whole thing and everything would come back like before… They could just… remain friends forever by never doing it again. It was exactly what Acchan was saying, right? Wasn’t it the best solution for them? Takamina… had wanted things to be this way… until she realized how much she liked her best friend. She couldn’t just… erase it. She really wanted to confess, but all the “what if” were coming back to haunt her again. Just by looking at her friend, Takamina could tell… that they needed to forget about it for their friendship’s sake. Acchan seemed… to have made the best choice. So even if it was hard…

“I understand.” Takamina answered, without really knowing where the words were coming from. “I wanted to talk to you about it… but finally, everything is better this way.”

Of course, everything was better this way. Takamina smiled. How could she have only thought that something might happen between them? She felt stupid just thinking about it. Letting hope control her mind, what was wrong with her? Seriously, it wasn’t love she felt! It wasn’t because she wanted to kiss Acchan again that it was necessary love! And there were thousand definitions of love anyway, so it could be another one she felt! Everything was only… a distraction. Being in love with her best friend, what was she thinking about?!

But… why was she feeling she devastated right now?

Who was she trying to convince by thinking that?

“We are… fine the way we are, aren’t we?” Acchan added happily.

Takamina nodded, agreeing with what her friend was saying.

“Fine? What is being fine anyways…If my heart is broken… is it fine?”

Though Acchan had said it with this happy tone, the actress was talking against her will. But it was better this way… to preserve their friendship… so she had no choice. She had to accept the fact that… Takamina would never love her this way. All she did… was because of this fact, right?

“So… I hope you don’t mind too much about it…” Acchan asked, still playing her role.

Being an actress was pretty useful in this situation.

“”Of-Of course, I-I don’t!” Takamina stammered quickly. “Everything is perfectly fine this way! And it helped me to understand a lot of things so it’s fine, really! I mean, it’s not because you suddenly kissed me that everything has to change, right?!”

“Really? What did you understand?” Acchan said, hiding the slight tone of hope.

“That-That true friends can stay friends whatever happens!” Takamina said with conviction, trying to convince herself, hoping her mistake was not being discovered.

“Ah…”

Acchan just stopped talking and an embarrassing silence followed. It remained a long time. Both of them… were lost in their respective thoughts. And they couldn’t say anything. Breaking this silence… would mean forgetting everything. And right now… they were just doing their best to remember this feeling… One thinking she should have confessed her feeling anyway… the other thinking it was better this way. After all…how could two girls be together… especially if they were both famous?

Takamina couldn’t believe what was happening. It took her six months to realize her feelings… and when she finally did, she couldn’t even confess to her?! No… it couldn’t end this way! It couldn’t just… stop right now when she was so far from the beginning! The kiss… couldn’t mean nothing, right?! It ought to be… the start of something! And wasn’t Acchan supposed to love her? If so, there should be no problem… then why had Acchan suggested forgetting everything? It seemed that… everything was already gone. Did Acchan… stop loving her when she was in Korea? It couldn’t be… did Acchan lie to her when she was saying there was nothing between her and that Korean guy? Could she… actually have a relationship with him?!

“I can’t support it…” Takamina thought as she glanced at her friend… who seemed to be in the same state as her. “What’s going on…”

She didn’t want to say it loud… she didn’t want everything to end this way… After all she went through… it couldn’t just mean nothing.

“Acchan…” Takamina started, before being interrupted for the second time.

“Hey, Takamina, did you talk to the AKB members? Is there something new?”

Acchan was obviously trying to avoid the subject. And Takamina knew she was not strong enough to be the only one confessing her feelings… so for this time…

“Yes… they’re fine. AKB48 is still popular… The latest single is still in Oricon’s ranking, which is unbelievable… And I heard Mariko was thinking a lot about graduation… and…”

Without knowing really why… Takamina’s voice was absent, just like her soul. The words were coming out automatically, without really making sense. The singer was talking to Acchan… but she was not really there. Her look was empty, without this usual happy spark.

“It’s great…” Acchan answered with the same voice.

She hadn’t listened to what Takamina was saying at all. How could she just stay by her side when they just… forgot everything? How could she not… cry right now?

“And you?” Takamina suddenly asked. “What are you going to do… after the PV?”

“I don’t know… My manager thought I could come back to Korea because I may shoot a drama soon…”

Was life against them?

“Would you… stay there for a long time if you leave?”

Takamina really wanted to know the answer. If Acchan was going to leave her again… she had to be prepared. And probably… she would confess to her before… so at least her friend would know about it. And maybe… they could be together in the future… when nothing would be in their way.

“Probably… I don’t know… A few months at least. If we’re doing a new drama, it will be longer than just one or two weeks.”

Takamina felt bad just thinking about it, wondering if she should start her solo career in Korea soon… just so she could follow Acchan. But at the same time, she couldn’t just do something stupid that would ruin everything, right? She needed… to think about it first… and to find a way to survive with those hidden feelings.

“Acchan… I missed you, you know…” Takamina said honestly to her. “I don’t want you to leave… just when you came back.”

The actress was surprised to hear it… but she had to admit Takamina was being really more… affective since a while. And she liked it.

“Don’t worry, Takamina!” Acchan smirked. “It’s just for my job, I’m not meeting anybody in secret.”

“It-It’s not what I meant!” Takamina said, trying to hide the tomato’s red color appearing in her cheeks.

Though she couldn’t help thinking she was slightly jealous from a certain Korean random guy.

“Oh? What did you mean?” Acchan laughed.

Takamina paused, wondering if she should take this opportunity to confess to her friend.

“Just that… I don’t like it when you’re never here. It’s… not the same without you.”

Acchan smiled, half serious.

“You’re getting emotional again, Takamina! You’re so cute! But after so long time… don’t you think we should be used to this? Being far and so on… is part of our job.”

“I will never be used to it.” Takamina said seriously, looking straight into Acchan’s eyes.

Somehow… Takamina felt like she should just confess right now and see how everything would go… but at the same time, she could see in Acchan’s eyes… fear.

“Me too…” Acchan answered shyly. “But just pretend you can... so the pain will not be too hard to endure.”

“It’s something I do since a long time already…” Acchan thought at the same time.

There was another silent moment, which was making both of them really uncomfortable. They then started to talk about something else, just to avoid the subject. Both Acchan and Takamina wanted to confess, but both didn’t want to, fearing everything about their close relationship would be gone. They just enjoyed spending time together. After all, even if they didn’t want to say the truth… they could at least enjoy being with the person they loved.

“Acchan!” Takamina said suddenly as the actress was leaving her house.

“What?”

“The kiss… it wasn’t stupid from you. Thank to that… I’ve realized something really important.”

She just felt she could at least say that to her. It wasn’t a confession… it was just something so she could make Acchan understand that what she did wasn’t wrong.

“What?” Her best friend repeated.

“You don’t need to know. I just wanted to say it.”

***

They were shooting for the PV. The concept was really simple, it was the story of two women, one looking for love while the second was avoiding it. Both were friends who hadn’t seen the other for a long time. At their first meeting, the second, who wanted to avoid love forever, fall in love with the first one. The first woman, even though she was looking for love, kept searching elsewhere, unaware of her friend’s feelings. It wasn’t really Takamina’s style to play this kind of yuri scenes, but not only was it perfect with the lyrics… it was also a guarantee the song would sell a lot of copies. Acchan would play the first one, while Takamina’s role was the second.

“You must be kidding me!”  The singer thought as she read the script.

From a certain point of view, there were a lot of similarities between the PV story and their real life. But it was not only what was troubling Takamina. It was more… the last scene.

“You’re going to kiss me!” Acchan exclaimed, trying to hide her happiness. “Takamina is going to kiss me at the end!”

“N-Not exactly…” Takamina answered shyly. “Read carefully.”

Last scene

Takahashi approaches her face, pretending to aim for a kiss with Maeda. The second woman wants to “confess” to the first one by kissing her. At the exact moment where their lips are going to touch, the camera closes and it is the end of the PV.”


“It’s the same!” Acchan said, enjoying teaching her friend.

Takamina didn’t answer. She wanted to kill the creator of the script… but at the same time… she could use this opportunity to kiss her best friend again… right? And… maybe it could lead them… toward another kind of relationship?

“Okay, Takahashi-san, we’re going to record the third scene!” Her manager called her.

Acchan stayed there while Takamina was leaving. If they couldn’t be together as a couple… at least they could pretend it in the PV. She smiled. At the beginning, when she had read the script, it had been horrible. But now, with this last scene coming right from her imagination… she was thankful everyone had accepted her idea. And of course, it meant… she could “practice” with Takamina, right?

“Maeda-san, we’re going to record the only scene where Takahashi-san is not needed, so please, come with us.” Two staff members told her, interrupting her dreamy look.

She walked toward the other studio, still red from the thought of Takamina kissing her.

***

Takamina was exhausted. One of her scene was really simple: she had to run all the way in an empty street after an invisible Acchan. And by “all the way” she meant almost 500 meters. And, oh joy, they had to do it without stopping. Of course, they couldn’t just make her run a little part and then another one, no, she had to run like she was doing a sprint all the way without stopping. Seriously, who was going to watch her run 500 meters anyway?! People had others things to do, right?! And there were things much more interesting to show in a PV than her running all the way alone! Though… since they were fans… maybe people could just stare at her without doing anything and be happy this way…

She drank water, enjoying the short break she had. She couldn’t believe it would take a whole month just to film a PV! Of course, the PV was ten minutes long, but still! Why did she have to have a 10 minutes long PV when it was only her first single! And with Acchan! And with a “possible” kiss at the end! They really wanted her to break record at her first single… But, thinking about it… this month, she would work on two videos… because, there were two PVs… There was the main one, the one she was recording right now and later this week, there was the second one, the B-side PV. Thank God, she was sure there would be no kiss in the B-side PV because… well it was not a love song.

The B-side song was about hope and courage toward life’s problems. Usual subject, but the song was not a ballad or anything really calm. It was more a mix between Iiwake maybe and RIVER style, which sounded really nice. As for the PV… she knew the story, but she had no idea who was going to participate. Though she was sure it would not be Acchan.

She was about to read another time the script of the last scene, just to make sure she was not dreaming about the end, when she heard someone coming from behind. She turned around and saw Acchan’s manager sitting by her side.

Oh right… she had almost forgotten about her. Since they had begun to work on her PV… and since Acchan was playing in it, Hiroko had no choice but to be here with them, right? Strangely, she had not seen her since the beginning except now, when they were just the two of them alone. Okay, she had kind of tried to avoid her each time she was with Acchan, but she had never seen her. So in the end, she had thought she was just not here with the actress… but it seemed that Takamina was wrong.

Hiroko seemed to be really at ease sitting there, staring at Takamina with an arrogant look. Great. What mess was going to happen again? Takamina decided she would just ignore her and do like she was still alone, but Hiroko had not exactly the same idea.

“Hello.” She said with an emotionless voice.

Takamina just nodded at her, trying to look calm. In fact, they were working on HER PV, so why should she be scared of Hiroko anyway?! Here and now… it was Takamina the leader, not Hiroko.

“I hope you like the last scene. You friend created it just for you.” Hiroko continued with an amused voice… though still a bit cold.

Created? Acchan? The last scene?

“What?” Takamina asked. “It was Acchan’s idea?”

“You didn’t know? She was reading the script when she was in Korea and decided to ask if they could add this part. I guess… she wanted to kiss you, who know…” Hiroko said.

The manager didn’t sound angry, just a bit surprised. Maybe she didn’t know how close Takamina and Acchan were right now. Though at the “kiss” part, Hiroko seemed to be a bit annoyed, like she didn’t find it funny at all. It was not really surprising after all… it was Takamina, the girl she once loved… and Acchan, the one she was working with. And to imagine the two being together… wasn’t the ideal scenario in Hiroko’s mind.

“You two are really close, aren’t you?” She asked.

Why had Hiroko accepted to work with Takamina anyway? She guessed… she just wanted to help Acchan a bit. After all, she knew the actress had been sad being far away from her closest friend during six months… and she knew they were probably going back to South Korea soon. So at least, she could give the opportunity to Acchan to spend time with her friend… But if she had known things would go this way… maybe she would have never thought about it. Maybe… her accident had changed her after all… just a little bit. And maybe because she also wanted to see how much Takamina had changed now…

“Yeah…” Takamina hesitated. Why was Hiroko aski- no, why was she even just talking to her?!

The singer felt really uncomfortable just being by her old friend side. It seemed like… everything she was saying was being analyzed deeply.

“Be careful…” Hiroko smirked. “I don’t know which game you two are playing to… but it can become dangerous.”

Takamina couldn’t believe it. Hiroko was… warming her? From what, friendship?

“Um… Thank?” Takamina guessed, without really knowing what to say.

Hadn’t Hiroko wanted to kill her? So why was she warming her?

“I’m serious. And I’m talking in business terms.” She added. “Maeda Atsuko, the most famous actress of all Japan… and you, a future famous singer. Do you really think it will be fine if the two of you… had a special relationship? It could destroy both of you in a second.”

Takamina opened the mouth, but didn’t have time to answer.

“Don’t try to deny it. You two… I don’t know exactly what kind of relationship you have, but I’m sure of one thing. Media are hungry for scandals. Remember the one with that Korean guy? If they talk so much about something like this, can you even imagine what it would be with two girls? I don’t think I need to explain it more.”

The singer didn’t answer. Hiroko was right. They couldn’t ever be together. In the end… everything left would be pain and loneliness.

“Thank for warming me, but I don’t need you to tell me something I already know.” Takamina answered a bit harsh.

It was understandable, after all she just realized that her feelings were nothing but bullshit compared to their careers. She had the right to be angry right now, hadn’t she?!

“And I don’t need this kind of advice.” Takamina answered professionally. “Acchan and I are close, it’s true… but we don’t have this kind of relationship. I don’t know what you are thinking about but-”

“Don’t you remember what I told you?” Hiroko asked, forgetting about the “business conversation” they were supposed to have. “This girl… she loves you.”

Takamina knew she was going to have to answer this statement.

“I don’t think so. We are best friends, that’s all. Acchan never told me anything about love. And even if she did love me… we wouldn’t be together.”

The small girl felt her heart hurt as she pronounced those words, but she had to be realist. Acchan didn’t love her… and she couldn’t love her either. They could not be together… even if they kissed… it meant absolutely nothing.

“Really? I can tell you she wanted to kiss you when she created the last part of the PV. I may only be her manager, I’m still able to see when someone is in love. That’s why I tell you to be careful if you don’t want the same thing to happen like…”

“She’s not in love with me, and I’m not in love with her!” Takamina interrupted, upset about how this conversation was going. “There’s nothing more to say.”

Hiroko was surprised to hear so much conviction in Takamina’s voice. Great… but she didn’t believe her at all. She felt that there was something going on. Not only did she hate it… but she promised herself she would take a good look at everything.

“Don’t forget… you don’t always choose the person you work with.” Hiroko added. “You have the right to love them or hate them, but you can’t show it.”

“Right now, I’m working with a friend.” Takamina said.

She left the place, unaware that there was someone who had heard the whole conversation.

“So… she only sees me as a friend… I know it hurts but… it’s better this way, isn’t it?” Acchan thought, trying to hold her tears.

A few days later

“I know the PV is not done yet, but we’ll record the last scene today since Maeda-san will not be there for the next week!” Someone shouted as everyone was getting ready.

There was still some part of the PV to film, but Acchan was not needed. So they had to film the “kiss” scene right now. Takamina was ready. She knew she had no choice and that it was all for her work. And Acchan was her friend, it could have been worst… she could have needed to “kiss” a perfect stranger… Eeew… She’d rather not think about it.

The actress was standing a bit away, talking with her manager about what she will need to do after this. Then, she walked toward her friend and asked:

“Ready?”

Takamina smiled and nodded. Of course, she was ready. She would do her best. She needed it, after all it was her first single. She was really glad to share this special moment with her best friend… but she thought Acchan was being distant today. They had arrived at the studio a few hours ago, and yet it was the first time Acchan talked directly to her. Each time she had wanted to talk to her, Acchan had pretended to have something to do. Each time they were the two of them alone, Acchan left her to go somewhere else. At the beginning, she had thought Acchan was just anxious about it… but now she thought she was literally avoiding her.

“Yes… We’ll do our best!” Takamina encouraged her.

The smaller girl couldn’t help remembering the “kiss” scene was actually Acchan’s idea. She didn’t know what to think about it since the problem between them about the real kiss was done… was it just a game? Acchan liked a lot of people. Back in AKB48, she had played with everyone. She had kissed a lot of members just for “fun”. Was it the same right now? Did she… play a game too? Was it a role or something like this?

What Hiroko had told her about Acchan… was it true? What if… Acchan had lied when she had said it was better to forget everything? What if… what she truly wanted… was to confess her love too…

No, it was impossible, right?

“Let’s go!” Acchan said, holding Takamina’s hand.

The singer looked at their hands. It was… impossible, right?

Right, impossible.

But Takamina felt a bit sad about it. Couldn’t… 1% be possible?

They walked went in another part of the studio where staff members helped them to prepare. They just need to be face to face, staring at the other. It looked simple to do… but not when they both knew they would progressively have to approach their lips to the other’s. And not when they both knew how they felt toward the whole situation… but that they didn’t want to tell the other. They were stuck into a world full of lies. And unfortunately, they didn’t know at all how to get out of this horrible place.

They tried to calm as much as possible as the last things were checked.

“Alright, so we’re going to shoot the last part of the PV. Takahashi-san, after ten seconds, you begin to approach your face to Maeda-san’s. And when you’re close enough, close your eyes, just like you would do if you really kissed someone. We’ll cut at the right place when we’ll do the editing.”

Takamina nodded and smiled at Acchan. Everything would be fine… really.

“Excuse me.” Hiroko interrupted at the last second. “Wouldn’t it be better if they really kissed and that you cut this part in the editing? It would look like they are really going to kiss, it would be more… realist.”

The singer immediately wanted to kick Acchan’s manager out of here. It wasn’t Hiroko’s PV, it was hers! There would be no kiss, whatever others were going to say. Like she was mentally stable to kiss someone today… no way! And hadn’t Hiroko warmed her about having a love relationship?! And now she wanted them to kiss? What the hell?!

“We don’t know if it is a great idea.” The director hesitated. “Maeda-san is great actress anyway, so it will be realist, don’t worry about it. Of course, a kiss scene would be the perfection, but we don’t think it is… needed.”

“But, now, they know they aren’t going to kiss. So in fact, even in their eyes there’s this “nothing will happen” look, and it is not supposed to be.” Hiroko argued, having an evil look in her face. “If they really kissed… then there would be this spark of excitation, this hope in Takahashi-san’s eyes-since it is supposed to be a confession-, the fear and anxiety in Maeda-san’s eyes, the… mystery around the whole thing… you know what I mean? There would be more elements that aren’t there right now.”

Takamina was seriously panicking right now, and her fear grew up even more at the director’s words.

“Seeing things like this… maybe it could bring something more…” He said, half thinking about it.

“I don’t think it is necessary…” Takamina said hesitantly.

After all, it was her PV, right? She had something to say about it too! And her answer was clear: no kiss. It would kill her.

“Are you sure, Takahashi-san?” The director asked. “I can clearly see what Maeda-san’s manager is saying right now. She’s right. And since you two are friends, I guess it shouldn’t be a big problem for you to kiss for a job like this. We’ll cut it anyway.”

Everyone was looking at her, waiting for the answer. It was still her PV after all… but now she wished it wasn’t. She couldn’t just answer “no” when so much people were staring at her, the majority of them agreeing with Hiroko’s these. If she answered “no”… they might dislike her decision… she was being a bit egoist right now. But seriously… she couldn’t kiss Acchan right now… it would be too troubling. And why did Hiroko want it?!

“So? Are we doing it or not?” The director repeated.

“Hum… well…” Takamina hesitated. “I’m still not sure…”

Damn, she needed to control herself or else everyone would discover she liked Acchan in “this” way…

“So?” Hiroko asked, looking into Takamina’s eyes. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t want to.” Acchan suddenly declared. “I don’t think we need this. You agree with me, Takamina?”

“Y-Yes…” Takamina answered.

“See? We’ll just do like we were supposed to do at the beginning.” Acchan added as the director gave some orders.

Takamina glanced at her friend, being really thankful. But the actress had just done it because she saw Takamina’s fear in her eyes. She could see her friend really didn’t want to have a real kiss scene. And if Takamina didn’t want… well she guessed whatever others were saying, the scene would not be realist at all. She had said it to save Takamina… but also to save the PV. And she didn’t like Hiroko’s influence at all.

“Well done, Acchan, you saved her… but it was too late.”  Hiroko thought.

If she had made this suggestion… it was only to see Takamina’s reaction. And now she was sure about it. Takahashi Minami clearly loved the famous actress.

“We’re starting right now!” Someone shouted.

Takamina and Acchan looked at each other. They were ready.

“And… action!”

At the moment when Takamina’s eyes met Acchan’s, the singer could not speak anymore. She didn’t know if her friend was already playing her role… but all she could see through her eyes was love… and a bit of fear too, since it was her character. But it wasn’t what stupefies Takamina the most. It was more… the call she was receiving through this intense exchange. Acchan was… asking her to kiss her. She felt her heart racing at 100 miles as she slowly approach her face.

She was pretty sure there was love in her own look too, but it didn’t matter. She wanted Acchan to know that… she was in love with her… She wanted Acchan to realize that… all she wanted was to be with her forever. Without taking care of anything, she held Acchan’s hand and squeezed it like it was the most precious thing in the world. She would never have enough of this moment. She would never… want to be look away, not even for a second.

Their lips were so close to each other… yet so far at the same time. They wanted to stop there and wait… but at the same time, it seemed that they were asking for more. They didn’t just want to see the other’s beautiful face… they wanted to feel it too. They wanted their heart to explode from this wonderful feeling… They could both barely breathe as they realized how they actually wanted to kiss again… and how close they were to do it.

Just a little more…. and they would listen to their desires.
Just a little more… and Acchan’s lips would be on Takamina’s…
Takamina closed her eyes, ready for the next step…

“And… cut!” The director screamed. “Perfect!”

Acchan blinked quickly and moved back, swallowing with difficulty. She bowed and left right after, leaving Takamina alone.

“What… just happened?” The singer thought as her mind was still somewhere far from her body.

Hiroko was still looking at her. So… she was right, Takahashi really loved Maeda. Then what should she do about it? Here was the perfect chance to take revenge… maybe.

***

Takamina was wandering everywhere in the studio, not really knowing what to do. After the last scene of the PV, they had a short break. Acchan would leave soon for an interview, so they would be shooting the scenes where she wasn’t needed.  Next one she would have was just to sing in the front of the camera while looking at sky. Really cliché, but everyone liked this kind of scene, so there should be no problem. But right now… she had something else in mind. The last scene… was… there was no word to describe it. She had just wanted say “let’s do the kiss scene for real” at the end. Why hadn’t she said it? Why hadn’t she listened to her desire? She wanted to kiss Acchan… she wanted to be with her… she just didn’t know how to say it right.

“Tomochin, I don’t know what to do anymore…”

Tomochin? Tomochin was here? Takamina moved back and looked through a slightly opened door. She knew it was Acchan there, talking to Tomochin at phone. She also knew she shouldn’t listen to their private conversation… but Acchan sounded so sad that she just HAD to stay there, spying.

“I know… but you should have seen her today while we were recording, I can’t support it!”

Was… Acchan mad at her? Somehow, thinking about it hurt her heart. She didn’t know what Acchan couldn’t support, but once she’ll know it, she would do her best to change! Anyway, if she ever confessed to her, it would be better if Acchan could support her, right?

“I know I should tell her but… with everything that happened, I thought it was better if I told her to forget everything…”

Takamina immediately thought it sounded familiar… forget everything? Like… exactly what Acchan had told her when they had talked about the kiss, right?

“She… agreed with me. She said I was right… You know, she’s not the type of person that would… talk about something like this…”

Takamina frowned. What? Talk about what? What had she done this time to make Acchan feeling this way? It took a long time for Acchan to answer, since Tomochin seemed to talk a lot.

“You’re right!” The actress’s voice said. “It’s exactly this situation… and we were shooting the PV just before and… I don’t know… I couldn’t support it. I mean… it’s painful to stay by her side now. Even if I told you I was alright last time… now it’s not that easy.”

Takamina was trying to understand something from what Acchan said… but she didn’t get anything. She was a bad friend to the point of making it painful for Acchan to be by her side?! She didn’t know yet what she had done, but she wanted to kill herself to free Acchan from her pain. Seriously… making the person she loved hating her wasn’t the best idea she had had. But… how could Acchan hate her… when… Takamina loved her so much? Maybe… she should have never talk to Acchan now. Maybe… she should just disappear from her life. It would help her to stop loving her… and it would help Acchan too.

“I know, but it’s too late now. I heard her, she said we’re friends… I don’t think nothing will ever change her mind.”

Did Acchan sound… sad? Because they were friends? But they had been friend for such a long time… why would Acchan be sad now? Takamina shook her head. Did Acchan… want them to stop being friend?

“I can’t tell her! In the PV… we almost kissed… I’ve never felt this way before, not for a guy or even another girl. I’ve never felt so much happiness… yet so much pain in my heart. Just one centimetre, Tomochin, that was the distance that separated us… I could have made this distance disappear if I wanted… but I didn’t because I knew she wouldn’t like things to be like that!”

Takamina sighed. She knew… the kiss scene would be a problem.

Wait…

Disappear? Then… that meant they would have kissed for real, right? What?!

“I wanted to!” Acchan sobbed. “I really wanted to… when she closed her eyes, I don’t know how I managed to stay immobile… And at the same time… I’ve realized that… we would never be together… Tomochin… What should I do?”

Takamina couldn’t say anything. Hearing her friend sobbing because of her… she would do anything to bring her happiness. But the end troubled her. What did Acchan mean by “being together”? Didn’t she just say… that it was painful to be with her?

“I can’t… You should have heard her before… she really sees us as best friends. It won’t ever change… but I don’t think I will be able to hide it now… it’s too hard… Tomochin, why do people absolutely need to fall in love?”

Fall in love… Takamina was speechless. Acchan loved someone… and it was her fault if things were impossible? That was why she hated her? Acchan… loved someone… She could feel the tears coming.

“I love her, Tomochin… and I hate myself for that… I want to be with her… but she doesn’t feel the same…”

Takamina then realized how fool she was. Hiroko had been damn right when she had told her Acchan loved her… because right now, she was hearing the same thing… from Acchan herself. The actress… didn’t want to forget the kiss at all… because she loved her.

“Takahashi-san!” A staff member screamed, making the singer flinched.

She ran away toward somewhere else in the studio, not taking care of the random guy. At the same time, Acchan closed her phone quickly, opening the door.

“Takamina… was there?”

***

Acchan was gone to her interview. Takamina had no idea when she would come back, but she knew one thing: the confrontation would begin as soon as she would see her. She had been shooting for the last two hours and was dead tired. They had finished for the day. She was waiting in the studio though, because she knew Acchan would come back sooner or later. She had forgotten her handbag. And when she would arrive… Takamina would sure talk to her. She was sick of everything. If Acchan loved her… she would know it tonight. And… she would confess at the same time, whatever her friend’s answer would be. She couldn’t keep it in her heart anymore.

She hoped Acchan would not take too much time, because it was also tonight that she was going to have a meeting for the B-side PV. They would talk about the concept and she would meet the actors she was going to work with. She glanced at the clock. It was already 10pm. She heard steps in the hallway and even before the door opened, she was standing in the middle of the room, ready to the confrontation that would change her life. She was anxious like never before, even more that during the live performance of her solo during Shibuya AX 2011. She couldn’t believe she was the one who would take the initiative… but at the same time, it didn’t surprise her. After all, everything was already crazy, so a bit more wouldn’t kill her… she hoped.

The door opened and Acchan walked in, stopping when she saw Takamina.

“You’re still here?” The actress asked, taking her bag.

Takamina nodded silently. Now… she could do it… She only needed Acchan to look at her. But as soon as Acchan had her bag, she waved her hand and prepared to leave the place.

“Wait!” Takamina stopped her as her best friend was turning around.

“What?” Acchan asked, not moving, not looking at her even once.

The actress had thought about it. If being with Takamina was becoming too painful… then she would just avoid her until she stopped loving her. She would just stay by herself and wait for this feeling to disappear. She knew it would take a long time, but fortunately, she knew she was going back to Korea sooner or later, so it would be the perfect opportunity to forget about her… the only thing she had not thought about… was that Takamina might have something to say about it.

“You love me, don’t you?” Takamina asked suddenly, going straight to the point, knowing Acchan could leave anytime.

Her friend looked at her in the eyes, not believing what she was hearing. She didn’t answer though.

“Do you?” Takamina repeated, trying to stay calm.

What she was doing now was really embarrassing, but she knew the problem would never find a solution if she didn’t talk about it first. Since Acchan was convinced she didn’t love her… well she would prove her the opposite.

“What… are you talking about so suddenly…” Acchan whispered, not knowing what to answer, surprised by the way Takamina was taking control of… this subject.

“I… heard you… when you talked to Tomochin…” Takamina said shyly. “I didn’t mean to… but I heard what you said.”

Acchan didn’t answer.

“I want you to tell me… was it really what you wanted us to do? To forget everything? I mean… you know about the kiss…”

Takamina’s assurance was definitely gone.

“There’s nothing to add… if you really heard.” Acchan said.

“Was it true? What you feel toward me… is it… love?”

Acchan opened her mouth but the door opened suddenly, interrupting them. Takamina moved back as two guys walked in. The first one was an assistant of the director. The second one… made Takamina forgetting about the whole conversation she just had with Acchan.

“You…” She whispered, recognizing him.

TBC

End note 1:
There’s a lot of things to consider in this chapter… First, Takamina is sure Acchan loves her since she heard her. Second, Takamina and Acchan both don’t want to confess but know it will happen someday. Third: Hiroko knows Takamina loves Acchan. And finally… who is “you”?

...
DON’T KILL ME PLEASE, IT’S MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!!!  It's true btw  

[mangobanana15]

OMGGGGG SO CLOSE AND YET SO FAR AWAYYYY!!!


lol you're lucky its your birthday tomorrow. i will spare your life for now!

DAMN WHO IS "YOU"? IS IT THAT KOREAN SCANDAL DUDE??!?! I'M GONNA KISS HIS A** FOR INTERRUPTING THE SCENE

mann throughout this whole chapter i was just wishing that they would just confess but you just won't make it that easy will you?

GOSH I'M JUST FEELING SO FURSTRATED AND CONFUSED SO MUCH EMOTIONNN

man sad to hear that you won't by updating too often but as long as you keep the fanfic going it alright!

UPDATE SOON! (oh and HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAYYY!!! )

[hott3stson3]

NOOOOOO!!!!!!

How could you do this to me  after all we've been through, lol 
They were this close...THIS CLOSE to confessing...how could you 
Before i (AHEM Kill Someone) I would like to say
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! LOL
Ahhhh  Please update soon...if u do
i'll love you forever and ever and ever...and forever and ever
lol 
Ah...Takamina and Acchan   
Please...UPDATE!!!

[sorakamiya]

  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
why you do this to meeeeeee..... for all the moment that we have spend together... *Okay stop overreacting*

bou-chan you are definatly try to kill me slowly.... from the beginning I start to read this chapter my heart already beat so fast and when it come to the end...

and about this "YOU" person.... I guess I know who he is... and I guess I could predict what gonna happen but I wont tell it coz if it real I will...

I HATE YOUUUU!!!! but cant help I still LOVE YOU!!!!  

pleaaaseeeeeeee....pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee.... update soon....

Oh yeah and.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess..... I'll gonna update my fanfict before tomorrow since tomorrow is your b'day... wait n see.... 

[dee1711]

BOU-SAN...

I HATE YOU!!!

no...I love you..      but still hate you..no, not hate..    uurrgggg...

Leave all of that aside, HAPPY BDAY!!! and let's celebrate your Bday by a chapter that those 2 get together.. Can you, pleaseeee?????     

I know that you think you're not good at happy ending..but..    at least let them together/ confess to each other/ know about each other feeling..     

Thank you so much!! I'll keep waiting for your update   

[Keichan ^_^]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! 

There is your dose of birthday smileys! Good to see chapters up for me to read! But yet again you leave us with a cliff hanger!!

Anywho! Despite the highs and lows of the chapter it was good! Shall wait patiently for the next one!

[kahem]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm glad the song helped you a bit ^^ We are the team K!!!!!
You want to kill us?! I was like 'yeah they will do it! They will do it!' with a huge smile and several seconds after I was like 'no they didn't do it' pouting. Imagine a personn do that several time on the tramway. People must think 'what happen with this person?' Lol
This chapter made me frustred so much but continued your fic is awesome

[Japanime1]

Happy Birthday bou, but expect me to pop out of the giant cake I'm sending to your house with a knife.

I love you.
OMGAAHHHH THE TENSION! DAMMIT ATSUMINAAAAAAA

[yourstruly]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY =)

HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY.

and I guess...I'll give you a present.....how does an update sound?

[alexiel17]

Whaaaaaa!!! You're getting older again    Sorry, just want my comment to be a little different    (but still have the same meaning :] ) 

Umm... but really, I need to apologize 'cuz I haven't read this yet since chapter 15 or 14?  I'm sorry... T.T 

Anyway,happy b-day!!! :] (I'm trying to be a bit kind bec. I know that you will all kill me later because of Keichan san  ...  ) Pls. don't kill me!!!  I still haven't post my story here :] (Yup! I'm creating story/ies but I think I will not post it for now... hehehe :])

Happy B-day again :] 

[bou-j525]

mangobanana15: LOL who said I was going to make it easy  Seriously, why would I just write something like...
Taka: I love you!
Acchan: Me too!
Taka: Let's live together forever!
Acchan: Yay!
...Know what I mean  But I'm glad I'm making you angry And about the guy... you'll find out in this chapter ^^
hott3stson3: Well... I'm sorry I wasn't able to update soon  Just had a crazy week at school and couldn't write at all this week. I thought I would be able to update last week end, but finally I couldn't. So I guess you won't love me forever 
sorakamiya: YOU!!!! IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU I'M UPDATING TONIGHT EVEN IF I'M SUPPOSED TO WORK  But hey, I guess I have no choice since you have updated when it was my birthday... so at least I'll do the same for you! Happy birthday  And... I did something else for you! You'll find out while you will read ^^ By the way... I'm not trying to kill anyone... yet. LoL love your long comments full of monkeys
dee1711: Well... I don't want to make it too easier, you know? So... cliffhangers are my best friends! I know I know, you hate me -.-' No, you love me ^^ No in fact... I don't know, so it would be great if you could decide Just kidding
Keichan ^_^: Thank you ^^ I lol'ed at the smileys When will you update your fic?! 
kahem I know, I am cruel...  Don't worry for the tramway... The same thing happened to me... A LOT. I'm not the same calm person in the subway since I got my new Ipod 
Japanime1: Sooo... if I follow your logic, you think we kill people that we love? Since you want to kill me, but that you said you love me, this is how I understand the situation. Then... Should I create a new fanfic where Taka would kill Acchan or vice versa? 
yourstruly: Thank for having updating for my birthday! You just tell me when is yours and I'll probably do the same... as long as you don't tell me a lie to have the next chapter faster >.>
alexiel17: Thank! Yeah, I'm getting older... Soon I will not be able to move and not be able to continue this fanfic as well... How life can be cruel By the way, I love you sig! xD Maaan you should continue read it But hey I'll understand if you don't want to! I mean, I know you're a huge KojiYuu fan, so maybe this fic doesn't interest you 
Everyone reading: Thank you!!!!

Goooooood I finally managed to answer. LOL it should be my birthday more often so I'll get a lot of comments each time But seriously. thank to everyone for the "happy birthday"  Love you all guys! Thank you 

I'm sorry, I wasn't able to update this week because of school... and I don't know when I will be able to. I'm supposed to be working now -.-' the only reason why I'm updating is...

Happy Birthday Sorakamiya!!!!! Since you updated when it was my birthday, I'll do the same for you! I managed to finish this chapter... and you'll see what I did for you ^^ And everyone else will sure be happy to see what I did for you too
Also, thank to yourstruly for having updating "LIES" 

Well, anyways, like I said, sorry for not being able to update... and still now, it's kinda late. Well, I don't know where you guys live, but right now it's 9:37 pm here so I call it "late"

I'm sure you guys know who is the "you" Since I'm really cruel with Takamina for interrupting her confession... why not be crueller? You will soon discover what I mean ^^
There's a lot going on here guys! Pay attention to the "you", to Hiroko... and of course to Takamina and Acchan!
Enough talking, here's the chapter!
Sorry for the mistakes.

Chapter 18

She would never forget those eyes…

Flash Back

“Hey everyone, Takahashi’s father is dead!” Two little girls screamed as they walked in the classroom.

“What? How do you know?!” A group of five eight-years-old children asked.

Two boys and three girls, they were the group everyone listened to in the class. The most popular children of them. Even if they were young, there was already this kind of “democracy” in the classroom. Everyone respected them… and if somebody didn’t, there were horrible consequences. They were the one who decided who was cool… and who wasn’t. And since they played all innocents roles in front of the teacher, nobody would ever think there was such a big problem between them.

“We followed her yesterday and we heard her mother!” One of the two girls announced proudly.

The two boys exchanged glances. They were the leaders of the group of five, and so they were even more powerful than the three others. They were the ones who had decided Takahashi was not welcome here. They were the one responsible of ijime.

“Everyone heard that?” The taller guy asked, looking evilly at them. “Takahashi has no father anymore! You all know what that’s mean… she is useless for the society. She was useless, but now it’s even worst, she’s nothing, and so is her family!”

The others cheered.

“What we always thought was confirmed.” The other boy confirmed. “People coming from somewhere else than Tokyo don’t belong to here. They are nothing.”

God only knew why those kids were so cruel. Was it because of their parent’s influence? Was it because they couldn’t find another way to talk to Takahashi? Was it because… they felt like they were better than her? Was it because of the world where they grew up?

Takahashi came in the classroom in the middle of the cheering. Everyone continued to clap in their hands, smiling ironically at her.

“Well, look who has the courage to come back at school!” The taller of the two leader boys said. “I was sure you would be too scared… after all, after the spiders, the snakes, the words written on the board, the pins on your chair… what do you think will follow? Oh, by the way, it’s useless to look for your precious books, we’ve already thrown them away.”

“So… will you finally understand that we don’t want you here or do you want us to continue? We still have plenty of time before the bell ring, you know?  What about you just bow and apologize for being so useless?” The other of the duo laughed.

“Or maybe you could just give us more money, since you don’t need it. I tell you, nobody will ever accept to sell you something. You’re so mean!” One of the girls said.

Takahashi went sitting behind her desk and ignored them. She was used to it. Each morning… it was the same. She carefully looked around her desk to see if there was any prank, but there wasn’t for today. She then opened a book and began to read.

“Hey, listen to us!” Someone shouted as he grabbed the book.

The guy who had just spoken was a tall black haired child. He was never serious and was a bit like the joker of the group. He was usually nice and joyful, liking to teach the others. He was quite popular, but still not enough to be part of the “five”. Everyone liked him… but he had one major weak point: he was a follower. He was not the leader type. He was more “I am nice and funny, but I don’t like to take too much initiative… so I do what others tell me to”.

Takamina glanced at him and looked away right after. This guy… was the first person who had talked to her when she had first came at this school. At first, he had been really friendly with her, acting like they’ve known each other for a long time. He was doing her best to make her feel good in this new environment. They were closed enough to be called “friends”. But… as soon as the others had begun to bully her, he had done the same. He had been really nice… but now… he was not even better than the others. He was even worst… just to impress the others… and also because he didn’t want to become a loser like she was.

“Well said! Listen to us, Taka-baka!” A random girl screamed.

“Nice nickname…” The taller leader said. “You should have said it sooner, Hiyori! Hey, Taka-baka, why are here? Aren’t you supposed to be crying for your father?”

Takahashi flinched at the mention of her father. How did they know that… he died yesterday…

“You’re trying to be less useless by going to school? Or maybe you’re trying to feel less guilty? After all, I wouldn’t even be surprised if it was your fault that he died!”

Takahashi glared at the guy who once was nice with her. Now… he was even crueller than the others. Accusing her of causing her father’s death… what could be worst?

“He must have hated her!” Someone said, ignoring the fact that Takahashi was there, listening against her will. “He wanted to leave her, that’s why he died! Who would support living with someone like her!”

Takahashi frowned and held her tears. She must not cry… she must not cry… she must be strong… for her, for her father and for Hiroko who was encouraging her everyday.

“You better die, Takahashi.” A girl said. “Anyway, I’m sure it’s all you deserve now. Nobody will want you.”

Suddenly, two guys went by Takahashi’s side with a dirty broom and shook it right on her head, making dust fell on her beautiful hair.

“Look, she’s looking much better this way!” They said at the same time, doing a high five.

Everyone laughed, without exception. Takahashi was looking at the floor. It was nothing compared to some others days… but still… it was a daily hell. She tried to leave the classroom, hating to be the center of attention, especially in this situation, but someone blocked her way.

“Well done…” One of the two main leaders said. “I thought we would have a problem with you too since you were acting friendly with her at the beginning of the year, but it seemed that you understand perfectly what we have to do to eliminate the trash of society.”

The dark haired guy smiled at the “leader” and didn’t move from Takahashi’s way, smirking at the same time.

“You heard him.” He said to her, looking at her in the eyes. “I’m doing a great job now. I helped others to eliminate those we don’t need. You should be the first one thanking me for doing such a disgusting job. Even your father realized it. He left you and your mother, knowing it was useless to stay with crap. Maybe he was more intelligent then I thought after all…”

Takahashi began to cry slightly as she heard everyone laughing. This pretention she had seen in those eyes… Her father… wasn’t this way. He did not die… because of her. He did not die… because of…

“You killed your father!” Someone laughed loudly.

A plastic bottle and many trashes were being thrown on her while she left the classroom, running. She would never come back here, no matter what her mother would say. She would never go back there… no matter what was going to happen after. As she was finally outside, she heard someone shouting her name. She turned around and saw the “supposedly” nice guy. She didn’t even stop walking. She didn’t want to hear him or talk to him. He was like the others. He didn’t even hesitate before beginning to bully her like the others. Even though he was friendly before, now he was just like everyone… and she hated him.

“Hey, Takahashi!” He screamed.

The little girl didn’t stop. She wanted to see Hiroko… she wanted to have a bit of support in this world… or else she wouldn’t survive any longer. Where was her best friend? Where was she? Where was the only person she could rely on… She hated this life… if she didn’t have her… she didn’t know what she would do. Would she kill herself? No… because she wanted to prove to the others children she wasn’t useless. She wanted to prove them she was as strong as them, even more. There was no way she would ever gave them the pleasure of going to her funeral.

“Wait!” He repeated.

Takahashi stopped walking and turned around, tears falling down her cheeks. Him… the only person she had thought was different… was just like the others.

“Will you come back here?” He asked shyly.

Where was his pretention now that the others were gone? Where was this smirk he had on his face all the time? Where was this spark of joy he had when he insulted her? He was… just like the first day they had met, an innocent little boy who wanted to be nice. But now, Takahashi knew it was just a false identity. She knew now… that the boy was way different than what he looked like.

“I will never come back here.” Takahashi answered angrily. “When I will see you again, it will be to take revenge!”

Hatred in her heart, she began to walk toward the street, heading to Hiroko’s house.

“Wait! The others… they wanted me to chase after you and bring you back. If I can’t do this… they will do the same with me! I don’t want to be a victim… Can you-”

“I would like to come back just to see you being a victim… but I will never come back. You better be prepared…” Takahashi growled.

What the hell was this guy thinking about? There was no way she would ever come back… now all she wanted was to cry alone in Hiroko’s arms…

“It’s not my fault, you know…” He pretended.

Takahashi stared at him. Tall, dark hair, dark eyes… a spark of pretention inside them. Those eyes… she engraved them in her memory. She would never forget them. It wasn’t the leaders she disliked the most… it was him… because he had lied to her all the time, pretending to be her friend while in fact he was just waiting for the right time to bully her. And now, he was begging her using the “it’s not my fault” excuse. Takahashi was still young and moved by her father’s death, but she could still think like anybody else. She didn’t answer and turned back. She would show him, sooner or later, what “not one’s fault” meant…

The next was the last one she was going to this school. Everyone had laughed at her as usual. They had even created a coffin where she could lie in, which she was forced to do. She had tried to resist as much as possible… but then the leader had asked “him” to help them… and that’s how they had closed the coffin… with her on the inside.

“Don’t worry, Taka-baka, it’s just a practice for when it will really happen!” The leader had said, making everyone laughed at her.

“Just kidding, we won’t even come to your funeral… well in fact I guess nobody will.” HE had said.

The week after, she was transferred. He had tried to talk to her… but Takahashi had not listened to him. He had been nice… at the beginning. Now… the only memory she would have about him was that… he humiliated her… like the others did.

End of Flash Back

Acchan was still immobile. She couldn’t believe Takamina had talked about… this. She couldn’t believe… Takamina knew it… A bit more and… she would have confessed to her. A bit more and… she would have told her everything… and maybe they would have started a new relationship… as lovers. They had been so close to this… it frustrated her. Now that Takamina knew her feelings… she knew that… whatever happened, Takamina would never leave her. She knew that… from now on… she couldn’t fear anything. The only things she wondered was… did Takamina love her too? Who dared interrupted them at such a moment! She would kill him!

“Excuse me…” The assistant of the director said. “I hope you weren’t busy…”

NOT BUSY??? What did “busy” mean to them? Being on the floor making out and doing dirty things or what?! Acchan wanted to kill him right now. Takamina and she were talking about something really important and he had just interrupted them at the crucial part! How was she supposed to take it? “No problem” wasn’t exactly what she wanted to tell him. She wanted him to die… right now. She was finally about to confess anything and… and what?! She stared at Takamina, who was still speechless. Did… Takamina know the guy who was standing there Acchan flinched as she realized that… in fact, she herself knew who it was.

“Kenji-san…” The actress said. 

Takamina fixed her best friend. Acchan knew… who he was? Now that she looked closely at him… he reminded her someone else.

“Ah, right, you know him, Maeda-san! You’ve worked with him in the past, right? When you were in South Korea, right?” The assistant said. “Well, Takahashi-san, this is Takeo Kenji. He will be the actor for the B-side PV. I have others important things to do… so do you mind… introducing yourself?”

Kenji nodded and the assistant left them alone. Suddenly, Acchan hugged him, which was surprising since… well… Japanese people didn’t hugged unknown people. Was Acchan… so close to that guy? Takamina sighed as she recognized… him. The Korean guy… from the scandal… He was actually… Japanese? A Japanese working in South Korea… right… and most of all… it was HIM.

“Takamina,” Acchan said happily. “This is the guy that helped me when I was in South Korea. He played in one of my drama!”

Takamina couldn’t say anything. Acchan’s friend…? There were millions people living in Japan and South Korea… and it had to be him?! Acchan’s friend… was the guy from the scandal and… the guy she hated for so much time? Why was she so… unlucky?! For God sake, it couldn’t just be “the Korean guy”, no, it just HAD to be Acchan’s friend too! Oh and of course, it just HAD to be the person she hated the most before… and still now.

“Takahashi-san… nice to see you again” He said politely. “Maeda talked a lot about you. I just came back from South Korea. I’ve been there for almost four years.”

Acchan seemed surprised.

“You know each other?” She asked. “Well, Takamina, don’t worry, he’s really nice, I’m sure everything will be fine for your PV. He helped me a lot when I didn’t know what to do. You’ll see, there’s no problem when you’re with him. I don’t know how, but he seemed to have a miracle solution each time I needed help.”

Somehow… the singer didn’t like how Acchan seemed to be a real fangirl of him. And the fact that there was no problem was totally wrong… From all she could remember, problems were always there when she was with him.

“I can’t wait to work with you.” Kenji confirmed. “I’ve heard a lot about you being in AKB48 and about your sudden graduation. You were probably the most respected member, right? I’m really glad I am the one chosen to work with you. I hope… you will accept me in your team.”

Takamina flinched as she recognized the voice she had hated so much time. He was Acchan’s friend, right? So she couldn’t scream at him now, right? Damn… how was she ever going to explain to Acchan that… she hated this guy? How was she going to tell her that… her friend was actually a jerk? And how would she ever be able to accept him in her team… she’d rather die! She’d rather… damn, she’d rather never confess to Acchan just so in exchange he could get off of her life!

“Of course, she will accept you.” Acchan smiled. “Right, Takamina? I was the one who asked the director to give him a chance. I’m sure he will be perfect!”

The small girl frowned. Was Acchan in love with him or what?! How come she was the one who had asked the director about it?! How could her best friend ask the director to accept the guy she hated the most right now?! What the hell was this situation?! Perfect? Him? Takamina was sure of one thing, the only thing he would do would be to mess with her life!

“You… asked the director?” Takamina said.

“Yeah…” Acchan nodded grabbing Takamina’s arm. “I hope you don’t mind. I was afraid you might work with a stupid and brainless guy… so I thought I could suggest someone…”

It seemed that even Acchan had already forgotten about their recent interrupted conversation since she seemed to be really at ease. She had already forgotten about… the whole previous situation, or at least that was what Takamina believed. Acchan was just… smiling like nothing bad was happening. She was looking happily at both Takamina and Kenji, probably hoping two of her friends could become friends too…

“Why should I accept him?” Takamina asked harshly, surprising Acchan.

“Ah, excuse her!” Acchan said to Kenji. “She’s tired from the work, that’s why she’s so harsh now.”

The actress didn’t know what the problem was, but she really hoped it wouldn’t be the start of something bad. She wanted them to be friends, but it seemed that Takamina was rejecting this idea. It was surprising, since Takamina was not the kind of girl that would hate someone easily. She would always take time to know the person before judging… but now it seemed that she didn’t even want to look at him. Could Takamina be… jealous? It would be too funny for Acchan, yet impossible. Why would Takamina be jealous for something like that? Was it because of the hug? There was no problem about it, it was just a friend! Was it because she’d rather think about it before accepting him? Acchan had no idea, but she really hoped it wasn’t too important. She wanted to help her friend, not to make her upset… She wanted them to be happy… not to begin a “I hate you” relationship. What if… she had done the wrong thing? She really hoped Takamina would forgive her for whatever the problem was.

“Don’t worry, Atsuko-san.” Kenji said. “I don’t mind. I’m sure we will have time to talk a lot later.”

He smiled at Takamina who frowned. Acting like nothing never happened, right? Well, she would not give him the opportunity of playing this game too long. As soon as they would be alone, she would kill him… almost. She knew Acchan wanted to be nice… but seriously, she couldn’t pretend anything with him by her side.

“Don’t worry, Takamina.” Acchan added. “I’m sure everything will be fine. Kenji is a great actor. He told me he moved to Hiroshima when he was ten years old because of his father’s job. But he knows Tokyo very well since he lived there before and often come back for vacations.”

Takamina sighed. From Acchan’s point of view… he was perfect. But from her own point of view, she wouldn’t let him do anything. Ten years old… it meant two years after the ijime thing, right? Even if she knew she shouldn’t, she hoped he was bullied a lot during two years… just like a short revenge for everything she had endured.

“Takamina…” Acchan pouted. “Aren’t you happy? I helped you, right?”

All the shyness from their “love” conversation was gone too. Acchan was back to be her best friend, the one who always knew when there was a problem. And right now, the problem was huge since it was something alive… and a friend of Acchan too…

“Excuse me, Kenji-san,” Takamina asked, trying to look as polite as possible, “would you mind leaving us alone? There’s something I want to say to Acchan… in private.”

The guy smiled.

“I’ll go then.” He answered, looking into Takamina’s eyes.

Takamina froze. Those eyes… Still the same… minus the pretention. She waited for him to be far-far far far- away from them and closed the door. Acchan frowned. She hoped that Takamina didn’t want to talk about what they were talking about before Kenji arrived. Though at the same time… she wouldn’t mind talking about love. But it wasn’t exactly what her friend had in mind.

“It’s your friend?” Takamina asked.

“Yes…” Acchan hesitated. “Is that a problem?”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t want him to be in my PV.” Takamina declared. “I will find someone better.”

Acchan flinched.

“What? What do you mean? It was really hard to get him accepted by the director! Even my manager helped me!” She said quickly.

Takamina didn’t answer for awhile before she said, trying to keep her emotion inside her heart:

“I’ve met him before… and let’s just say I got a bad experience.” She whispered. “I don’t want him in the PV… and you know what? You should stop being friend with him.”

Acchan looked her friend left the room. She stared at the closed door, wondering what had just happened. First… she was only supposed to be there to take her bag. But then, suddenly Takamina had started talking about their relationship… after her Japanese actor friend had came… and now Takamina was telling her to leave him alone? But… he was really a nice guy, wasn’t he? Why would she let him down? She didn’t understand Takamina, especially since they kissed. It seemed that… nothing was the same. She couldn’t understand her like she used to… she couldn’t be with her without feeling pain… she was wondering what was going to happen to their relationship every two seconds… she wanted to know about Kenji relationship with Takamina… and now… she wondered if the love topic would come back soon…

***

Takamina was drinking tea by herself at home. It had been a week since she had met him again. She had not talked to Acchan yet. She wasn’t avoiding her, but she knew the actress was busy with her own job. She didn’t want to bother her. She was thinking about everything… first Hiroko had come back in her life… and now him. A bit more and each person she had known when she was young would soon appear soon. She hated this situation…. Why was he Acchan’s friend?! Why did it have to be him?! Did God hate her THAT much?! And even if fate was against her… He could at least give her a break! Hiroko… love  problems… him… what was next? With everything… she was ready for the end of the world. 

She went outside to a nice restaurant she liked. All she wanted now… was to eat katsudon. In this kind of situation… she would usually go and talk to Acchan, but right now… she couldn’t because Acchan was busy… and since the guy she hated was her friend, she couldn’t talk about it for now. She didn’t want Acchan to be sad because of her. So the only thing that could bring her smile back was eating katsudon.

As she was sitting, waiting for her katsudon to arrive, she read the script of the B-side PV. This guy… would play a great friend of her. How was she going to survive just by looking at him?! He was so… so… she couldn’t even find a word to describe him! How was she just going to be able to record a scene with him! She hated him so much that… she was sure her single would not sell a single copy just because of his face in the B-side PV! He was going to ruin her career after ruining her life years ago. She was going to die because of him!

No… not “years” ago… in fact, he had ruined her life just a week ago… when he had interrupted her conversation with Acchan. She was thinking about it when her katsudon arrived. For the first time of her life… she didn’t touch it right away. It was the second time katsudon didn’t interest her. The first time was when Acchan had come to her house awhile ago… and now… still because of the actress that had stole her heart. She was really… the only person that could make her forget about her favourite food. In fact… she was the only person Takamina would care about for the rest of her life. Sure, there was still her others friends from AKB48… but with Acchan, everything was different. Her life was magic with her by her side.

The only thing she was scared about right now… was that this magic disappear. And she knew that… with everything that was happening right now, with all the problems she had to take care of… with her single released soon… with her solo career that would begin for real… she knew their friendship was slowly becoming an “endangered specie”. She knew their relationship was more fragile than ever before… and she was seriously thinking everything might be gone if she talked about the guy to Acchan. So the only thing she could do, as usual, was to hide her pain. 

“You love me, don’t you?”

Takamina couldn’t believe she had really said something like that. It wasn’t her to do this kind of thing. She would usually just wait… so if she had done that… was it because she couldn’t wait anymore? Yes… it was surely because she couldn’t hold anything. And she would probably have talked about it with Acchan already if this guy had not suddenly pop out in her life. Sure, she was ready to confess! She was ready to face reality! But… not when he was in her life right now. Not when… so many bad memories were coming back. If only… they could have finished this conversation before he appeared. If only… Acchan had answered to her question.

“There’s nothing to add… if you really heard.”

Did that mean that… everything was actually true? That she really loved her? That she wasn’t lying at the phone? And then… if she had answered yes… what would Takamina have answered? The singer wasn’t ready to have a serious relationship, she knew it. She knew she wanted Acchan to know about her feelings… but she knew she couldn’t date her right now. And still then, Takamina was dying on the inside to know what Acchan thought about this situation! She wanted Acchan to tell her directly about her feelings, without having someone to tell her or without spying on her when she was talking at the phone to someone else! She wanted Acchan to tell her, not through a phone or anything else… she wanted to see Acchan’s lips forming the sentence “I love you”. And she would do the same right after… or just before, who knows?

She was scared. She knew their next conversation would be THE one… if ever nobody had the stupidity to interrupt them at the crucial part like it had happened. During their latest conversation, she had clearly seen that Acchan was trying to avoid her. If she hadn’t been so direct, then Acchan would have left the room right away. So next time… she would have to be even more direct with her best friend. But… how could she do that? She was already shy… she couldn’t kiss her without saying anything, right? And she couldn’t suddenly confess to her, right? She would have a heart attack while talking…

Why was love so complicated? No… It was the question Takamina had to ask. The best question was more… “Why did she have to fall for her?” It seemed that the world didn’t want them to be together. Sure, theoretically, they couldn’t be together since… well it was not something appropriate if they wanted to have a famous career. Why… her?

She was almost done eating her katsudon when her phone rang while she was still thinking about the whole thing. It was an unknown number. She sighed, thinking she would have loved receiving a call from Acchan. But it seemed that even her own phone was against her.

“Yes?” She answered.

“Takahashi?”

She frowned as she recognized the voice that was talking. How could she have her phone number? And most of all… why was she calling her?!

“What do you want?” Takamina asked, trying to sound fine.

“I have something I want to ask you… can we meet?”

Sine she really wanted to think about her relationship with Acchan, Takamina wanted to answer “no”, but decided to accept. After all, if Hiroko wanted to see her… then the most important thing on earth must have happened.

“Sure…” Takamina said, thinking she had just done a mistake.

Their latest conversation had been somehow… troubled. But what helped Takamina to decided was the fact that… she wanted to ask something to Hiroko too.

***

The singer was waiting for Hiroko to arrive. It didn’t take a long time before the manager came, running in the street. Takamina frowned. She would not lose to whatever Hiroko was going to tell her. She would stay strong and keep in mind that whatever happen, she would confess for real next time she would see Acchan.

“Sorry for calling you so suddenly.” Hiroko apologized.

Acchan’s manager seemed to be fine. She didn’t seem to be angry or sad. It looked like she was saying the truth when she had said she just wanted to talk. At least, Takamina knew Hiroko had stopped with her murderous intentions. She still hated her, sure, but not as much as before. Takamina could be sure of it just by knowing that Hiroko actually wanted to meet with her. And anyway, sometimes, we all have to forget about something sad that happened. She knew Hiroko would not kill her… but she knew they would probably talk about Acchan… again.

“I called you because I wanted to talk about something concerning Atsuko. You know… as her manager, I want to be sure nothing scandalous is going to happen.”

Hiroko’s voice was professional, like she knew exactly what she had to say. It also seemed that there was a boundary between her eyes and the real world, which kind of hide any sign that would show her feelings about it to Takamina. And anyway… why would she show her feelings to her old friend… she didn’t want to. Right now… Hiroko was really nervous standing in front of Takamina. She couldn’t believe she wanted to see her.

“I don’t see what you are talking about.” Takamina answered, knowing pretty much the only thing she could do was to deny everything.

“I don’t think I need to remind you it is useless to lie to me. Even if it’s been a long time, I can still understand you when you don’t say anything. This part of you hasn’t changed at all.” Hiroko said, glancing at her old friend. “Seriously, don’t you think that if I’m talking about that to you today, it’s because I know more than you think.”

“I don’t know what you can be thinking about since there is absolutely nothing.” Takamina kept on denying.

“Nothing? Have you already forgotten about what I told you?” Hiroko insisted, determined to hear the truth from Takamina. “This is dangerous. She-”

“She’s not.” Takamina interrupted, knowing what Hiroko was going to say.

Acchan’s manager knew Takamina was going to deny it. When she had wanted to meet with her ex friend, she knew the confrontation was going to be hard. But knowing that… she was ready to everything Takamina was going to say. It wasn’t that she REALLY wanted to talk about it to Takamina. Of course, she’d rather avoid the subject too since she had kind of been in the same situation when they were friends before… but it was about the person she had to take care of. She couldn’t let it go… even if she had to talk with someone she didn’t really like.

“I was there too.”

Takamina frowned.

“Where?”

“When you were listening to Atsuko’s conversation with someone else. I saw you and I heard what you heard too.”

Takamina froze. Hiroko had seen her spying on Acchan’s conversation? That meant…

“Stop lying to me when I’m only warning you.” Hiroko said. “I know you heard Atsuko saying she loves you.”

The singer didn’t know what to answer. She didn’t know Hiroko had been there. She couldn’t believe what was happening. Was Acchan’s manager really trying to warn her about what could happen? Hiroko was acting like… a friend.

“Okay…” Takamina answered harshly. “You were right about this point, happy now? Just let me deal with it. I don’t see how it concerns you.”

“It concerns me because I am Atsuko’s manager! I can’t just look at her ruin her career because of an impossible and stupid love story!”

The ex captain of AKB48 was clearly becoming upset. First, it wasn’t Hiroko’s  problem at all. Second, it wasn’t something someone could easily talk about and find a solution in a second. And third… it wasn’t an impossible and stupid love story… right?

RIGHT?   

“I was right since the beginning.” Hiroko said. “She loves you. So now I want you to tell me what you are going to do so I can at least protect her from a gay scandal.”

“You’re too extreme.” Takamina sighed. “A gay scandal? Nothing like that will happen! I’m not going to do anything… anyway, what do you want me to do in this case…”

“I can see exactly what you are going to do. Seriously… you did graduate from AKB48, right? Why?”

Takamina didn’t answer, surprised by the question.

“You graduated because of her, didn’t you? You’re so… attracted by her that you even give up your beloved group! I heard fans talking about it. They’re upset. They were sure you wouldn’t leave soon… but guess what? You left like you had to in order to survive.”

Was it really the impression she had given the others? It couldn’t be… She had not only graduated because of… well, okay, maybe she had.

“Let’s just say that Acchan… played a role in my decision.” Takamina muttered.

“So… when will you confess to her? When will you guys ruin your career together, like big kids?”

“I’m not going to confess to her. And even if it had to happen, it won’t ruin Acchan’s career. I won’t let her ruin her career just for this.”

Okay… the confession part was a lie. But who cared?

“So you love her but will not confess just so you can supposedly protect her?” Hiroko growled. “I didn’t think you care so much for her… though let me think about it… Oh, yes, I did know you care so much. So… be honest and tell me, when are you guys going to officially date?”

“I’m not-”

“You do love her.” Hiroko said, anticipating Takamina’s answer. “At least, don’t lie about this point… I know it since you two recorded the last scene of your PV.”

Takamina didn’t know what to say. She didn’t expect Hiroko to know it too. Was it really so… evident? Of course… she knew Hiroko would never insist so much if she didn’t have a nice reason. And that reason was that Acchan’s manager knew everything. She knew Takamina loved Acchan and vice versa. It wasn’t surprising… Even after so many time, Hiroko was still able to guess her feelings really well. Hiroko had always known Takamina very well… She knew the confession was inevitable… the only thing she wanted to know was “when?” and “what will happen after”. Unfortunately, even Takamina didn’t know the answer to these questions. She didn’t even know when she was going to talk to Acchan. So what? Hiroko knew she loved Acchan… and now what? Was Hiroko angry at her? Was she… jealous? Takamina quickly forget about the second idea. After so long time, she knew Hiroko was not the kind of person to keep thinking about it. And plus, they weren’t supposed to be talking together now.

“Right… I won’t lie to you then.” Takamina said. “It’s true… I love her. It doesn’t matter what you think about it. But it doesn’t mean I will take the risk to ruin her career by confessing to her. When it will happen… I will be sure nothing will happen to her career… because I don’t want her to be hurt. What I am going to do about it is none of your business. Even if it was of your business, there’s no way I would talk to you about it. Unlike you-”

“Unlike me, what?!” Hiroko snarled, seriously pissed off by this conversation. “Unlike me, you can’t face your feelings. You can’t be honest with anyone, even not with Atsuko. Unlike me, you’re not strong enough to confess because you fear everything. Seriously, when I confessed to you before, I was aware of what was going to happen, but I said it anyway because it was something I couldn’t deny. I thought you would understand me and surpass everything so it could go back to normal. But of course, no, you had to throw our friendship away in a second, like you were the one deciding on everything. Unlike me, you don’t know at all what you are going to do because you’re weaker than me! Unlike me, you keep on denying everything thinking it will solve your problems, but seeing that it doesn’t, you just decided you will do nothing. And by doing this, you don’t just hurt you, you hurt Atsuko too.”

Takamina was speechless. It was like Hiroko’s barrier was breaking in thousand pieces.

“Why do you think I want to talk about that subject to you?!” Hiroko continued, seeing Takamina couldn’t say anything. “Why do you think I am standing in front of you right now even if the only thing I can think about by doing this is what happened between us when we were young? Why do you think I force myself to talk with you about something you don’t want to tell me?! Listen, I want to say I don’t care about it, but I can’t. It concerns Atsuko, and as her manager, I need to make sure everything will be fine. The reason why I care so much about it is exactly because it’s YOU. If it was someone else, I wouldn’t care at all.”

“What difference does it make if it’s me or not.” Takamina murmured, still shocked.

“It makes a lot of differences. First, you are a girl. Second, you will probably be famous. Third, Atsuko is already famous, so if you two decide to date, it will create a huge scandal… I don’t think I’m telling you anything new. And finally… it’s because you’re so weak about love that I can’t trust you. If you were sure of yourself instead of having doubts all the time, maybe I wouldn’t care so much about it. But I’m sure as soon as you will have confessed, you will have doubts again and break up with her. By doing this, it will kill her joy and so she won’t be able to work properly. If you keep on playing together, you two will have no future. Currently, I’m trying to save Atsuko from your stupidity. Seriously, you two dating? You’re think I’m what exactly? I’m not a bad manager who will just let Atsuko do whatever it is that she wants to do. I’ve made mistake with her, but now I will make sure she will reach the top. You and your stupid questions… even if you dated, you would break up with her because of them!”

Takamina didn’t answer, thinking Hiroko was the one hitting Acchan just a year ago.

“So, what are you going to do? Why would you confess to her if it’s to break her heart later? Why would you start dating her if you’re sure it’s impossible to have a love relationship with her? Don’t think about confession if you’re sure it will lead to nothing.”

Still no answer. Takamina knew Hiroko was right. She was so unsure even though she knew her feelings were real. She knew it would eventually lead to a painful separation… so why would she care about confessing? Why would she make Acchan suffer even more than now?

“Say something.” Hiroko said. “What will you do? I’m right and you know it.”

“You hate me, right?” Takamina asked sadly. “I know it too. I know what you are saying right now… is just because you want me to suffer too. About this love topic… when I’ll do something, you will know it too. If I’m so unsure, it’s because I don’t want to do something that would ruin Acchan’s life. Once I will have talked to her… I’ll prove you that you’re wrong about everything. What is between Acchan and I… is even more precious than what was between you and I. I don’t want to loose anything this time.”

“You should say it to her instead of me. You didn’t see her recently. She can barely concentrate on her work. Even the director of the CM she recorded told me she was really bad compared to some others times. You should say it to her… so she will be able to work.” Hiroko answered, trying to hide the pain she had from hearing Takamina saying their old relationship was not important anymore for her.

“Stop telling me what I have to do.” Takamina answered. “Seriously, how can you be sure of what you are saying? This is way different than… our situation.”

“I know it is different. Acchan will probably not reject you heartlessly like you did with me.” Hiroko answered, enjoying the fact that she was bringing back bad memories to Takamina.

The singer flinched at Hiroko’s argument, but remained calm. It was the perfect time to ask Hiroko about what she actually wanted to know.

“You know Takeo Kenji, right?”

“Takeo Kenji?” Hiroko frowned. “Yes, I know him… Atsuko actually told me she wanted him to be in your PV, so I helped her to convince the director to take him.

Takamina smirked. She was right after all. Hiroko had helped him to be accepted too.

“ Acchan… I can understand she didn’t know it… but you… Is it because you hate me so much that you decided to bring him back in my life?” She asked, trying to control her sudden envy of killing someone.

“What?” Hiroko said, not understanding what Takamina meant by this.

“Is this your way to take revenge?” Takamina asked, really wanting to know the truth.

The meeting was quickly becoming a personal affair. It was more like a battle opposing two old friends, both upset about different things.

“Revenge? What are you talking about?” Hiroko said. “I’m not talking about revenge, I’m talking about your relationship with Atsuko!”

“I want you to answer my question, that’s all.”

“Why would I bring an unknown guy to take revenge? If I wanted to take revenge, I would have done it way sooner.” Hiroko just said.

And unknown guy? Hiroko didn’t know him? And it hit Takamina hard. Takamina… had never told Hiroko about the identity of her aggressor. Hiroko could not know who he was since… Takamina had never told her the name of the person she hated. She had never talked about the person she hated at school… the only thing she had done was to cry and look for comfort into Hiroko’s arms.

“Ah… you don’t know… who he is?” Takamina whispered, feeling guilty to have accused her so quickly.

“Am I supposed to know him? The only thing I am sure about is that he is Atsuko’s friend. Seriously… he should be Atsuko’s new boyfriend so there won’t be scandal with you or anything else… At least it’s a boy, it’s still the best thing to start.” Hiroko sighed, thinking this conversation was becoming really stupid.

“Sorry…” Takamina said against her will. “I thought… it was another of your ideas.”

“Thank for telling me I’m cruel and heartless and supposed to take revenge on you by sending you a guy I don’t even know.”

Takamina bowed to her ex friend. They had just had a fight about love… but Takamina knew that she had to apologize. She couldn’t just accuse Hiroko to have done something she didn’t.

“You’re apologizing about that but you never apologize for what you did before… I can hardly believe it.” Hiroko mumbled.

“Sorry…” Takamina repeated. “I thought you wanted him to… bully me again.”

“What?” Hiroko asked, suddenly getting everything. “It is… him?”

Their conflict was suddenly gone. All that mattered now… was the fact that Takamina was finally, after so many years, telling Hiroko who was responsible for all the pain she had been through when she was young. And, God… it was about time.

“Not only him… But he is responsible for a lot…” Takamina answered, thinking about how he had betrayed her by following the others students of her class. “I’m sorry. I thought you wanted him to be in my PV just so you could see me… being sad or anything like that…”

After so many years, Hiroko couldn’t believe she finally knew who the guy she wanted to kill when she was young was. So many times… she had wished his death so her best friend could smile… and now, knowing he was back… was kind of waking her. So… it was actually Takeo Kenji’s fault if Takamina had been so sad before? If only she could have known it before… like when they were still friends…

“It’s really him? The one who made you so sad…? The one who ruin your childhood?” Hiroko insisted.

“Yes… so? Why do you care?” Takamina asked with an angry voice. “All that matters for you now is for Acchan to stay on top of Japan. Well… Let me tell you one thing. I will prove you that… we can actually be together without risking our careers. Acchan and I… are not like you and I were.”

Takamina left Hiroko alone. At least, she knew Acchan’s manager had nothing to do with the fact that Takeo Kenji was back… At least… she knew Hiroko was not thinking about taking revenge… and now… she was ready to call Acchan.

“It’s not because we are not friends anymore that I can’t help you with that.” Hiroko whispered to the empty street. “Remember… I was the one supporting you when you were crying because of them… I was the one knowing everything you endured… nobody else did. You never told me who those assholes were… Now that I know who it was… I will at least help you like I should have done before.”

Hiroko couldn’t help feeling guilty for what had happened. She was the only person who knew how much Takamina had suffered when she was young because of some others classmates. Knowing that one of them was back now… was frustrating. At least… she wanted to help Takamina to definitely forget about her sad past… it was all she could do now. She didn’t want to help her too much… but somehow, remembering Takamina’s crying face broke her heart.

***

Takamina was watching her cell phone since about thirty minutes. She had called Acchan, asking her to call her back when she will be free. She had mentioned that it will be long, so that Acchan would not call her and hang up after five minutes. She was still a bit upset about her latest meeting with Hiroko. She wanted to prove her she was not unsure or afraid or whatever else. She wasn’t going to confess just for that reason… She was going to confess because she was sure it was what she wanted: to date Acchan. Even though they were girls… even though a scandal could happen whenever… even though it was dangerous… she was sure it was what she truly wanted.

And this time, she had been really careful. She had chosen a moment when she was sure nobody would disturb them. She would DIE if ever they were disturbed by anyone. Last time was wrong. Last time… this guy had interrupted her. Now, she was at home, waiting for Acchan to call back. Nothing could happen. When she would meet with Acchan, she would make sure it was impossible to interrupt them. Seriously… now… was her last chance. She smirked. Back to two years ago, at Acchan’s graduation… if someone had told her she was ever going to confess to her best friend, she would have not believed that person. She would have thought it was impossible… But still, here she was, nervous like hell.

“Hello?” Takamina answered as soon as her phone rang. “Where are you, I need to talk to you!”

“Oh… this impatient tone… Were you waiting for Acchan to call? Sorry, it’s just me.” Miichan’s happy voice said.

Takamina sighed. Of course she was waiting for Acchan… not that she wasn’t happy to talk with Miichan… it was just that… she’d rather talk to Acchan.

“Ah… Miichan? What do you want?”

“Hey, what’s with that sudden depressed tone! It’s so different from how you answered!” Miichan exclaimed. “I just wanted to know how you were doing. There are so many publicities for your first single! We can’t wait to hear it! All AKB48 members wish you the best!”

“Thank…” Takamina smiled, realizing how much time had passed since their last conversation. “I’m doing my best for the PVs right now…”

“I heard you were recording with Acchan! Is it why you were waiting for her to call?”

“Hum… yeah!” Takamina answered, hiding the fact that she was disappointed it was “only” Miichan talking to her.

“You could at least pretend you are happy to talk with me!” Miichan pouted. “Aren’t you?”

“Of course, I am really ha- WAIT, I HAVE ANOTHER CALL!” Takamina suddenly screamed as she clicked on another button to see who the other person was.

“Takamina?” Yuko’s joyful voice said. “How are you today! We have a free day so I thought I could talk to you a bit!”

Takamina sighed. Now… it was Yuko… What was Acchan doing, for God’s sake?! She kept talking with Miichan, altering at the same time with Yuko. She was glad to hear from them but could barely concentrate about what they were saying since she was always thinking about Acchan, wondering if her best friend was trying to call her while she was talking with the two others.

“So yeah… I will soon begin to record for the B-side PV and…”

Takamina was still talking to Yuko after half an hour. Miichan had had to leave a minute ago. The squirrel was talking… and talking… and talking… and most of the time, it was about AKB48… and her precious Nyan Nyan. Hearing Yuko being so happy with her lover kinda made Takamina jealous. She wished she could have the same happiness in her life right now… which was kinda impossible since Acchan was obviously not calling her at all.

“Are you listening to me?” Yuko asked after a moment of silence. “Or are you thinking about Acchan?”

“I’m not thinking about…”

She was interrupted by the doorbell. Still talking to Yuko at the phone, she went to open the door, wondering who it was.

“Like I said,” Takamina continued as she opened the door, “I am listen- AH SORRY, BYE.”

She quickly hanged up as she saw Acchan standing in front of her house.

“Acchan?!” She asked, surprised.

The actress smiled at her best friend.

“You wanted to see me?” She asked innocently. “I thought it would be a best idea if I came directly here instead of calling you.”

They both still had in mind their latest conversation. They both remembered very well what they were talking about last time. They also knew that if it wasn’t for this sudden interruption… something might have happened.

“You don’t have anything to do… do you?” Takamina asked, wanting to make sure they would have time to talk… about everything she wanted to talk about.

Acchan shook her head and walked in. The actress was a bit nervous about the sudden invitation, wondering what Takamina wanted to talk about… even though she knew it. They went in Takamina’s room and sat on the bed together. They didn’t say anything for awhile, acting like the silence was something to preserve if they didn’t want to die right away. They were nervously glancing everywhere, opening their mouth without saying anything, playing with their fingers or their hair… in fact they were doing everything but talking.

“It-It’s… about what happened last time.” Takamina stammered nervously.

Acchan smiled, trying to help her nervous friend… but failed as she realized she was as nervous as Takamina was. She could felt her heart racing in her chest like never before. She wanted to hear Takamina… but at the same time she wanted to repeat the “forget it” sentence. But deep in herself, she knew she couldn’t avoid it… anyway, if she avoided it today, then the subject would come back someday. And… she had found an answer to Takamina’s question. All she had to do now… was to say it.

“I… want to hear your answer…” Takamina said, taking a deep breathe.

“Which answer?” Acchan asked, pretending she didn’t know what Takamina was talking about.

In fact… she perfectly knew what the singer was saying. She had thought about it day and night without stop since this day. She had also thought about the fact that Takamina could be mad at her because of Takeo Kenji… but it seemed that it wasn’t too important now. She had been so worried that Takamina might never talk to her again because of her mistake… that right now she couldn’t answer anything. She had been so afraid she might have hurt Takamina by choosing the wrong actor… that she was afraid Takamina might never trust her again. And loosing Takamina’s trust… was worst than loosing everything else. She didn’t understand why her friend hated Kenji though since he was really nice… but whatever the answer was, she would help her.

“About the kiss… Do you really want to forget everything?” Takamina asked softly, looking at her friend in the eyes.

Acchan didn’t answer. She was just staring at Takamina’s eyes, lost. She knew what she had to say… she knew what she wanted to answer… but just by looking at her friend right now… was enough to make the words stuck in her throat.

“I-” She began before being interrupted by Takamina herself.

“Because… me… I don’t want to forget it.” The smaller girl said shyly. “I want to remember this moment forever…”

Acchan thought Takamina was so cute talking this way that she would surely take thousand pictures if it wasn’t for the fact that she couldn’t move anymore.

“Why?” The actress asked, fearing the answer.

Takamina smiled. Surprisingly, the speech she had prepared was not needed anymore. All she had to do… was to speak with her heart. She didn’t need explanations or excuses or whatever about the situation. All she needed… was to be honest.

“Because… I love you.”

She stared at Acchan with love, hope and fear in her eyes, waiting for her to answer. And what she heard… was like a cannonball straight in her heart.

“But… we can’t be together.” The actress answered, swallowing with difficulty.

TBC

END NOTE:Cliff hanger returns BWAHAHAHA

I know I'm cruel




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Don't kill me please....











Like I said before, it’s SORA’s birthday, and I did something special for this special occasion…. I first wanted to cut the chapter HERE. But this time, I’m not ending this chapter on a (too big) cliff hanger! Enjoy guys

Chapter 18... the end

“Because… I love you”

Acchan had waited to hear those words since so much time… but still, now she couldn’t answer anything. Was it real? Was Takamina really confessing to her? Was she going to wake up and realize everything was just a dream? She didn’t want to wake up. She didn’t want anything to happen. She wanted to stop time right now. she wanted… to hear those three words over and over again… just so she can be sure she was not becoming crazy. She wanted… to live in this dream, forgetting about everything else. If ever she had to die in the following second… she would have the biggest smile in her face.

But, once again, reality hit her hard. What was happening now… wasn’t supposed to be happening at all. The wonderful dream… would soon become her worst bad dream if she didn’t do something. Because… in their world… in the “famous” world… they just couldn’t have this kind of relationship.

“But… we can’t be together.” Acchan answered, her heart racing 100 miles/hour as she heard herself pronouncing those heartbreaking words.

Somehow… Takamina had the feeling her best friend was going to say something like this. What else could she answer to her confession… Takamina would just be stupid to think that everything was really simple when all was only about how to make thing clearer. Thinking about it… her confession should have had happened way sooner, right? Unfortunately, since fate was against them, she had never had the chance to… how to say… be done with this situation. But… for the first time of her life, she had been prepared for Acchan’s answer. She knew what her friend was going to say and… she was ready to answer… that… they could be together.

“Why?” Takamina asked, knowing already what the answer was going to be.

Each trace of nervousness had disappeared from her mind. The singer knew… it was probably the last chance given to her. She must take it… or it would really be over.

“You know why… You know… that it is impossible for us to be together.” Acchan whispered.

“I know… but I want to hear you saying it.” Takamina said.

They were looking at each other. Takamina could see tears appearing into Acchan’s eyes.

“It’s impossible because… I still haven’t told you how I feel toward you.” The actress said with difficulty. “And also because…”

“Then tell me.” Takamina cut. “Tell me… how you feel about it. Because… until you tell me that… then it’s impossible for us to talk about the others reasons.”

Acchan didn’t answer. Whatever she was going to say, the actress thought the result would be the same: they couldn’t date. So… in order to preserve what was left from their friendship… she had to lie. Sure, she was always the one talking about love and being really… opened about it before… but now was different. Now… she was not exactly the same person… and Takamina wasn’t either.

“I told myself…” Takamina began, seeing Acchan was not sure about what to say. “that I would stop lying to myself. I told myself that everything I was doing was only making things harder, so I needed to stop it. I knew… even though I was always denying it… that it was useless to lie to the both of us. Everything disappeared from my mind… all the negatives things and impossible thoughts are gone from my mind. Right now… I am able to stand in front of you… and to tell you the truth.”

Acchan was listening closely to what Takamina was saying. It was becoming almost normal that Takamina talked to her about her feelings. She still wasn’t used to this since Takamina had always been a shy girl even with her, but she felt really happy thinking it wasn’t like this anymore. She felt better thinking that… Takamina trusted her enough to tell her about how she felt, about her thoughts, worries, dreams… everything. She felt… in a really special way thinking that Takamina might actually say those things to her and not anyone else. She liked…. being special to Takamina.

“I was stupid, you know, thinking everything would disappear if I just stopped thinking about it… I thought it would just be… you know, something I could surpass easily and move on right after, but… it wasn’t. I’ve been thinking this way the whole time… even though deep in my heart, this feeling never disappears. Thinking about forgetting is… not a solution anymore to me.”

Takamina wasn’t talking to Acchan… she was also talking to herself, telling herself the truth for the first time since a long time. In fact, she was talking… only to herself.

“You know what, Acchan? I think… I just don’t want you to make the same mistake as mine.” Takamina said. “Even though I’m saying all those things to you… I’m still not sure if I would be fine having this kind of relationship… But I just don’t want you to… feel what I felt during those reflections times. I’m still unsure… and that’s why I need to do something to find out if I would be fine… this way. That’s why… I’m talking to you today. That’s the reason why… I’m asking you about it, because if you don’t mind… we could give a try.”

Seeing that all she wanted to say was said, Takamina sighed from relief. She wasn’t dead, it was a great beginning. Now she just hoped her heart would survive until and after Acchan’s answer. But staring at her best friend who was just looking away, the ex captain sighed and asked:

“Are you even listening to me?”

There was no answer.

“Acchan?” Takamina mumbled. “I am talking to you… you should listen, it’s important!”

She had just said her perfect speech! Acchan couldn’t not have listening, right? But her best friend turned to her, hiding very well her feelings.

“Of course I’m listening to you! Who do you think I am?!” She laughed.

“Someone having a “I don’t care” look even when I’m talking seriously?” Takamina tried.

Acchan rolled her eyes, not finding the joke really funny. It was during AKB48 she had this look… Now… couldn’t Takamina see she had listening to each word, fearing she would wake up at the end of the sentence? Couldn’t Takamina hear her heart racing like hell? Couldn’t… Takamina feel that there was something new in the air, something… obvious? Oh, right… Takamina couldn’t guess “obvious” things since she was too… Takamina-self.

“See?” Takamina sighed as she saw Acchan’s eyes. “You’re doing this face again!”

“Which face?” Acchan smiled cutely.

“You look like you’re not taking care of what I’m saying.” Takamina joked. “Like I’m being annoyed or something.”

“But-”

“Don’t say I am!” Takamina replied, knowing her best friend loved to tease her anytime.

“It’s okay… I actually like being with annoying persons.” Acchan smirked.

Takamina smiled embarrassingly, not knowing what to answer. Was it Acchan’s way to answer her question? If so… couldn’t the actress be clearer? It would help her… like A LOT. Wait, she wasn’t annoying, was she?! Seriously… where did Acchan’s power to shut her up just by saying one thing come from? Well… thinking about it… she didn’t want to know the answer to this question.

“Don’t tell me you’re dying of shyness just because of what I said?” Acchan asked, thinking it was really funny to tease her friend… and that Takamina was also extremely cute being shy this way.

“Shut up…” Takamina whispered, pouting at the same time.

Acchan was totally controlling the situation, even with all Takamina had just said minutes ago. Even with Takamina’s touching words… the actress had taken the lead… after all, shy Takamina would always come back at the wrong time. And right now… well…

“You’re cute when you’re blushing…” Acchan smiled.

“R-R-Really?” Takamina stammered, still not knowing what to do.

How in the world could Acchan take all the control just with one sentence! She was the one supposed to ask Acchan and to see if they could… try to be together… She wasn’t supposed to be so shy at this moment! But of course, life was not that easy with her.

“So…” Acchan said seriously, coming back to the main subject, forgetting a little about joking with her friend. “About what you said… About forgetting… About trying…”

Acchan was hardly trying to remember how to speak as she finally realized how tensed was the situation. She knew Takamina had heard her talking to the phone with Tomochin back after the shooting of her PV. She didn’t know exactly what Takamina had heard… but judging by their old conversation, she could tell her best friend had heard the most important part. So… why was Takamina actually asking her about it… if she had heard everything, if she knew that… she loved her too? And that kiss they shared before she left… she sure didn’t want to forget about it… but at the same time…

“Why are you asking me, if you heard what I said on the phone before?” Acchan asked, not sure about the reason why she was saying this.

The singer was surprised to get such a strange question, especially when it wasn’t what she was waiting for her friend to say AT ALL. At first sight, she couldn’t find a proper answer. Exactly… why did she ask this question? Acchan was right, she had actually heard what she wanted to hear… but still, she wanted to hear it directly, not via spying or whatever else. They both knew the answer to their common question. They both knew what was going to happen later, and what problems they would have later. They both knew they could never have a normal relationship, whatever “normal” meant. But anyway, the singer just wanted… to see Acchan pronouncing those awaiting words she wanted to hear so badly.

“It will be long if you don’t answer to my question.” Acchan smirked.

Seriously… who in the world knew which game they were playing to right now? No one. No one knew… since they didn’t know it themselves. It looked like… they were just turning around the main subject, finding many ways to avoid it, while at the same time they were both impatient to… say what needed to be said.

“I told you, at the beginning, the reason why I didn’t want to forget anything.” Takamina said. “   And… I asked you a question. I was the first one asking you something, so why would I answer your question before?

“Well, technically, you haven’t asked me clearly a question.” Acchan smirked.

“You know me enough to guess what my question is.” Takamina replied.

They were staring at the other, smiling, both trying to make the other lose this… “game”.

“I want to know why you want me to answer, even though you know… about it.” Acchan said.

“And I want you to answer my question first.” Takamina declared.

“Don’t we look stupid?” Acchan asked after a minute of silence.

“It’s okay…” Takamina said. “I actually like being with stupid persons.”

Acchan rolled her eyes at the lame joke her best friend was doing to her. Even though they were acting this way, nervousness was growing at ten times per second. And soon, they both knew they couldn’t just avoid the subject by doing lame jokes and laughing at their situation. It was too serious, too important for them to be acting this way.

“Then… how about I stay stupid forever?” Acchan asked. “So that you will always like being with me and never want to leave me alone…”

Takamina laughed at Acchan’s statement. Where was this supposed serious conversation heading to?

“It’s useless. I already want to be with you.” She said.

“But you don’t know… maybe in ten years, you’d have forgotten about me.” Acchan said, trying to sound like she didn’t care too much. “Maybe in ten years… you’ll be tired of me. Like… you’ll find a new friend someday and dump me. You know… it’s kinda impossible to not be tired of someone once when you stay with the same person all the time.”

“So… that means you will be tired of me someday?” Takamina asked innocently.

“I’m the exception.” Acchan laughed before being serious again. “I’m just saying this because… I’m scared.”

The conversation was slowly coming back to its initial state.

“I’ll never be tired of you.” Takamina assured.

“Why?”

Takamina didn’t answer. She knew Acchan knew the answer too. She had said it at the beginning… and it seemed that repeating it would drain all her strength.

“You… you know it.” She answered shyly. “I-I told you.”

“I want you to repeat it.” Acchan whispered, slowly reaching for Takamina’s hand.

“And I want you to finally answer my question… About forgetting… and taking a chance… about the reasons why… you don’t think we can… you know.”

Because she was tired of waiting, tired of drama, tired of trying to ignore her feelings, Takamina was taking the lead. If… she didn’t get an answer soon, she would just throw everything away and forget about it. She liked turning around the subject with Acchan, knowing it was only a game, but right now… wasn’t the best time. And feeling her friend’s hand into hers… was pure magic into her heart. She felt like she didn’t need an answer anymore, like she already had it. So… she felt like she was going to cry when this warm contact broke.

“I told you already.” Acchan said, releasing her hand. “I’m… not sure…”

Takamina just couldn’t believe it. Acchan wasn’t sure? Acchan… was scared? Usually… it was the opposite, right? To the singer, who knew the actress so much, it was surprising. She knew her best friend could not be as strong as she was trying to look like, but hearing her saying this… was painful, because it was her fault. If Acchan couldn’t feel good with her… what would it be later? Was the beginning of a relationship supposed to be so hard? Hearing Acchan saying she was so unsure, so scared… was so unlike her! She had been one of the less shy girls in AKB48. Hearing her now was like… seeing Yuko stop being a pervert, it just didn’t work.

“And I told you already…” Takamina said softly, knowing it was the last chance she had to make her change her mind. “I love you. To me… just being friends isn’t enough anymore.”

She could feel the tears coming. She could feel she had just pronounced those words again… because she didn’t know what else she could do. She had heard Acchan talking to Tomochin, she knew she felt the same toward her. She had gone through this hard mix of feelings… so she was the best one to know that if Acchan’s fear was bigger than her love toward her… then there was nothing she could do. She knew well that… fear was not easy to fight…

Acchan didn’t answer. She was repeating her best friend’s words over and over again in her mind, like she couldn’t live without them. She was depending on them to survive right now. She was trying to convince herself there was nothing wrong about it… that her love for her friend was all she ever needed to be happy… but truly… truly… Takamina’s confession was the last thing she had ever thought about.

Yeah… that’s right… Takamina’s confession was the last thing on earth she had ever hoped to hear someday. She had sure fallen for the small singer, but she had always thought it was only a one-side love. She had lived with the thought that… Takamina would never love her the way she did. So, she had never thought of what would happen if ever they dated. She had never thought about all the others problems except for the fact that they were two girls. She had never thought of what she could answer if ever Takamina were going to confess to her or if ever something were going to happen to them. At the beginning, she had learned to live with this feeling, hiding it from her. It was at her graduation that everything had started to degenerate. To hide her feelings was one thing… but to not be able to be with Takamina was something else. After her graduation to join the “actress life style”… she had found it really hard to work with a hopeless love feeling in her heart. And her departure had only increase her thoughts about the fact that Takamina would never love her anyway, so why would she care thinking too much about all the “what if” that existed around their relationship?

And when suddenly, she had seen something change into Takamina’s way of acting… that was when she had begun to worry a little, just a bit. She had started wondering a little about the possibility that they could be together… before forgetting about it… since to her it was impossible. Still impossible… forever impossible… So when they had kissed… everything, every theory, each little barrier she had built around her heart had broken. And that was when… hope came back. But… she had never thought confession would happen so fast. So… she was definitely not ready to answer anything.

Looking into Takamina’s eyes… she could see that her friend wasn’t lying about her feelings. She could feel through her glance that… there was no reason to fear anything. If they were together… then it was fine.

“Just being friends… but we’re not just friends, aren’t we? We have… a special relationship, that’s what everyone from AKB was saying…” Acchan started slowly.

“Even if you say that… I want to make this relationship even more special from now on.”

The actress could tell Takamina was talking to her with her deepest feelings from her heart and she was thankful to that. It helped her… to realize they had nothing to lose.

“This is… what I want to do.” Takamina whispered as she stepped forward, just enough so her lips could touch Acchan’s.

The small girl shivered at this contact, the one she had literally been dreaming for. Trying to control her body, her first reflex was to pull away from Acchan, thinking she had done something that just ruined everything. So she was really surprised… when she felt her friend’s hand caressing her face as she answered to the sudden kiss, making it more passionate. She could feel air missing as she slightly opened her mouth, answering Acchan’s silent call, letting their tongues dancing together while her senses were driving her crazy. Her mind was already on top of the world as she realized that… what she tasted right now… was even better than the first time.

Acchan actually felt like she was doing parachuting… without parachute to stop her to fall. It was pure ecstasy. Her breathe rhythm was increasing a hundred times per second while her heart was ready to make her chest explode. It was like she couldn’t control her body anymore. She was letting her hands moving on Takamina’s body, pressing it against hers and enjoying each contact they made as she forgot everything but love… and strong desires she had. She took a second to catch her breathe, making a short eyes contact, before kissing the singer again, completely forgetting about fear that once controlled her soul. All that matters now… was that she wasn’t holding herself anymore. She didn’t know where her limits were, and it didn’t matter. She felt her heart racing faster as Takamina let out a slight moan, which excited her even more.

The actress slowed down a little, still not moving her lips apart from her friend’s, still breathing the same air as hers. She couldn’t think about anything. Her hands slowly held Takamina’s waist as she pulled her under her own body, suddenly realizing that they were still on the singer’s bed.

“A-Acchan…” Takamina moaned, trying to separate their lips, even though she herself didn’t want to break this contact.

It seemed to bring the both of them back to reality as they finally moved apart, though Acchan was still in this position… on top of Takamina’s body.

She had been parachuting… without parachute to stop her fall… and now… she was wondering what was going to happen… once she’d be on earth again.

TBC

END NOTE:Happy birthday Sora!  I hope you'll be satisfied with this, coz this is the only thing I can do for you now. I can't write more, sorry! But at least... I didn't end where I FIRST WANTED TO END =D
END NOTE 2: So... who has guessed for the guy's identity? And what will happen with Hiroko? And of course...
WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO OUR FAVOURITE DUO?! Only time will tell you coz... the next chapter won't happen next week, sorry!
EDIT:
No, Takamina's problems aren't solve... AT ALL 
And by the way I'm not really into writing love and kiss and whatever scene... soooo I don't know if I will be able to write more about this

[yourstruly]

AHHH great chapter once again.....
If you stopped where you wanted to stop in the beginning, I would have wanted to KILL YOU....
BUT you didn't so no immediate death for you

Btw, my birthday is in June which is still a long way away.....
I thought about lying about my birthday to you but....I'm a good person at heart....I think....Maybe.......

Anyways, update soon

[panickofpain]

FINALLY! TakaMina confessed!

I was irritated at the guy who just barged in when they were having the same conversation at Chapter 17. xD

Thanks for this! I was first devastated that I missed another two chapters since the last time I read and now, I'm so happy!

[Japanime1]

Japanime1: Sooo... if I follow your logic, you think we kill people that we love? Since you want to kill me, but that you said you love me, this is how I understand the situation. Then... Should I create a new fanfic where Taka would kill Acchan or vice versa? 

Yes! And NO! I am not a fan of suicidal/tragic lovers fics. Well, sometimes I am and it'd be a breath of fresh air but I'd be depressed for the rest of the year since it'd be about AtsuMina. lmao.

@Ch.18:
I don't care if they're little kids, I will go back in time in this story and abuse them for bullying my little Minami!! D:
Especially HIM. This time, using the logic above, killing won't be out of "love"...malice. Pure malice.

Eheh.

... ...

And Hiroko. I'm such a tsundere towards her. One minute I want her to step off, but then I have to remind myself that she's sort of urging Takamina on in a way. It's for the best. Plus, now that's she realized who hurt Takamina back then...bring it down on HIM, Hiroko!

It was nice to hear from Miichan. Yuko got cut off.

And THANK GOD it's Sora's birthday, or I would've slapped you silly for ending it that way before the special continuation.

“I love you. To me… just being friends isn’t enough anymore.”

HELL YEAH! GO GO GO!!!

“This is… what I want to do.” Takamina whispered as she stepped forward, just enough so her lips could touch Acchan’s.

YESSSSSSSSSSS!!! ATSUMINAAAA!!!!
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Good job, bou. <-- I'm only putting this emote because I find amusement out of it.

You have dutifully made up for your lack of absence. :

Shiittt I need to work more on mine now...because I cut off where I first wanted to end...but maybe I'll rethink and add a bit more...

PS: @Sorakamiya...if you're reading this...
I will go read and express my greetings on your latest work now.

PPS: @bou: You know...it's funny...your fic is still labeled as "Don't forget to remember me" in my bookmarks. Too lazy to change it.

[mangobanana15]

UPDATEEE! OMG you just made me feel a whirlwind of emotions with this chapter that i haven't felt in a long timee!! 

THE FLASHBACK WAS SOO PAINFUL how could they do that to Takamina?? its so sad seeing her get accused of killing her father

THEY WERE LUCKY I WASN'T THERE OR ELSE I WOULD BE ATTACKING THEM WITH NO MERCY!!

ESPECIALLY THAT GUY WHICH IS WORST THEN THE REST PRETENDING TO BE HER FRIEND THEN BULLYING HER HE BETTER GET SOME GREAT KARMA FOR THE SH*T HE'S DONE

i hope that Hiroko does help with this situation!

and now its time for TAKAACHANNNNNN OMG I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS SINCE THE BEGINNGING THEY FINALLY CONFESSED
AND THEY KISSED LIKE OMGGGGGGGGGGGG

and all the little joking and teasing was killing me from the suspense!

but with you as the author i feel like this happy beginning is just the start of a hard journey for them

I was so depressed seeing the chapter ending but you make me so happy with the extra on the bottom!!

Update soon!!!!