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Author Topic: Ongaku's Notebook: (110722) PWAMD Update Part 5  (Read 29261 times)

Offline ongakuSOUL

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Ongaku's Notebook: (110722) PWAMD Update Part 5
« on: May 09, 2009, 11:24:19 PM »
Hello everyone, this is my first attempt at a fanfic (well not really, but I wanted to post this one first XD) I'm a complete newbie so please excuse me if my ideas are completely strange :lol: I'm not really all that good at writing so I apologize if some things don't make sense.

Well here's the one of my first fics! Its a KohaJun so some people might not have heard of this pair romantically rather than the pair that argues all the time XD

Mou~!

BokeBoke. Thats what one of their fans called the new comedy pair one day.

"Bokeboke? what on earth does that mean?" Struggling to find out exactly what that meant, she dug deep into her mind for all the japanese words she knew. After a few seconds, she exclaimed a grunt of frustration and walked away from the table she was leaning on. She grabbed her coat and decided to head home. It was nearing the late afternoon and she wanted to go home early. Twirling her jacket around so that she could wear it, the exhausted 21 year old idol made her way out the doors when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

"junjun wanna come out to eat with us?" The girl before her, one of her groupmates, stood no more than a few centimetres shorter than her, about 160cm or so. She had an especially squeaky voice and when excited,  her especially squeaky voice became an especially annoying voice, especially to the 21 year old . Flinching in irritation at koharu's voice, junjun held her ears.

"do you have to be so loud?? geez..." As she was talking, Junjun took out her cellphone to see if it was working. Sounds at high frequencies could be harmful to electronics is what she trained herself to think. She always reminded herself to check her cellphone near the miracle girl. Closing the communication device, she noticed koharu was about to resume speaking.

Before koharu could begin her sentence, junjun covered her ears in prepration, giving her senpai a blank stare. "sorry!! me, gaki-san, michishige-san" one. "and kamei-san were wondering if" two. " you were hungry so we deci-" three. That was all the time junjun could handle listening to koharu's voice, three seconds. A bit shorter than her previous record, only by a second,  but still it was some sort of an improvement.  She tried to keep herself calm, but she just couldn't, the squeakiness of the girl's voice before her had annoyed junjun to the limit until she finally interrupted koharu.

"alright!alright! I got it!... you don't have to be so loud. Mou~, and even when I asked you not to. " Junjun scratched the back of her neck and walked to the exit sighing. "lets go." Although she didn't particularly dislike the miracle girl, she found it really amusing to pick on her. The reactions she would get were hilarious and cute, but she would never admit the 'cute' part out loud. She found a sort of attraction towards the girl. One that was hard to define.

Koharu puffed up her face and frowned. She then followed junjun with her three other fellow members. "why does she have to be so mean! I was just asking a question."

It was a cold day. The winds were strong and was not ideal weather for anyone who had their hair done, or girls with short skirts. It was good weather for the pervvy old man who usually sat on the bench on the sidewalk though. Despite the strong winds, it was a nice day since the sunset provided a calm atmosphere.

Junjun continued to walk ahead of the pack, until she was at such a distance that the other members had to call for her. 'Bokeboke". Those were the words that repeated themselves in her head. She was really curious at about what they meant and completely  absorbed in her thoughts.

"bokeboke... I know I've heard the word 'boke' before. From 'boke and tsukkomi' right? boke is the role that always gets scolded by the person they are with... so if boke is repeated twice I would get- UWAHH!" Junjun, who was completely spaced out, felt someone jump onto her back. "w-who is this? gahh!" she shaked frantically in panic until a certain turtle slid off her jacket slowly, falling to the ground in a sitting postion. After a few moments she laughed wildly pointing at junjun's surprised face.

"Oi eri, get up. You're an idol aren't you? what will happen when people see you like this?"

"ii n janai desu ka? they don't care."

"seeing a twenty year old woman scrambling on the floor laughing, and in a skirt... I'm sure they will. See, I can see your strawberry panties showing. At least wear some shorties underneath!"

"nee gaki-san? why is your nose bleeding?"

"i-its none of your business! shut up sayumi!"

Koharu who was behind the group had resumed pace with them and was now standing beside junjun, looking at her smiling face. She just stood like that staring, it would have seemed weird to other people but she couldn't help it. She marveled at junjun's angelic smile and thought right there to hug her, but frowned at the knowing that the older panda hated her. "we're always fighting, I know she's joking, but sometimes I can't tell the difference...  there is one way to find out though.." Koharu wondered how she could answer such a question. She looked at junjun's hand and decided to hold it unexpectedly. "if she pulls away she hates me, if she stays she doesn't care or maybe... she loves me? WAH! junjun loves me~"

Engrossed with the scene before her, junjun didn't notice that the miracle girl had slipped her hand into hers. Once the group had resumed walking to the restaurant they were going to, she had finally realized an unusual warmth in her hands. Junjun slowly turned her head to see exactly who's hand it was she was linking with. After a few seconds at looking from koharu's face to koharu's hand, she gasped and stared at the girl with her eyes wide, her nose opening to form circles. Koharu, feeling someone's stare burn into her, looked at junjun who was a bit closer than usual. They remained like that for about a minute, until junjun went back to her usual blank stare.

"pervert." she whipped her head back front and smirked.

"eeehhhh? mmmeee??" aha! so she does hate me! wait, is she joking though? maybe she secretly likes it? I'm so confused!

"yes you, the one who held my hand when I wasn't paying attention." junjun raised her eyebrow and revealed a big grin on her face.

"so?? whats wrong with that?"

"why would you hold my hand when I'm not paying attention?? suspicious..." She held her chin and squinted her eyes  while looking at koharu. Junjun didn't particularly think it was weird, she actually rather liked it, but she thought she would have fun picking on koharu. Even though she was tired she was never too tired to mess around with her senpai.

"no it isn't! I did that because I felt like it! its not like I like you or anything!" oh crap! did I just say that!? thats not how its supposed to be!

"r-really... well I wasn't assuming you liked me." A stab. That was all junjun could feel after hearing that. She walked away slowly, unlinking her hands from koharu's "what am I feeling? why do I feel so hurt?" junjun was completely speechless, and in shock, though she didn't know why. She thought of the possibility that she in fact liked the miracle girl, which surprised her even more. It broke all her rules, it crossed the boundary from their usual 'boke and tsukkomi'  relationship (or boke and boke relationship if you prefer), it was impossible. She walked faster even more ahead of the group. Deep down she knew it wasn't impossible but hearing those words 'its not like I like you' hurt her, but why would it hurt her was the panda's question.  Her hand still had that warmth from a while ago. She looked at it, opening and closing her hand, and.... smiled. She smiled, she actually really liked it when koharu held her hand like that. Koharu's grip was firm, and her fingers intertwined with junjun's. "It was like she was holding my hand as if we were dating..."

"I guess maybe I do like her..." junjun said that out loud. Hearing herself, she found no need to cringe or make any faces, she was actually fine with it! seeing the difference in herself, she felt all warm, knowing that was indeed true. She found her answer to her question and all it took was a simple gesture like holding hands.

"junjun!" awoken from her train of thought, junjun was surrounded by her fellow members, who were all panting and out of breath.

" don't walk ahead... of..of u-us,so... so much!!" having only run a few meters, usagi-chan was already pooped, looking nearly ready to almost collapse. She never really was the athletic one. "ahh! we're here anyway! but next time you know junjun don't leave us behind!" sayumi stood upright once more and went towards the door of the restaurant. She opened it and went inside followed by the rest of the group, while junjun stayed outside waiting fora certain someone. After a few moments she saw the miracle girl walk towards the restaurant with her head down. Koharu looked up and was surprised to see that junjun was actually waiting for her.

Feeling that she had done something wrong, Koharu thought to apologize to junjun. Although it would have been normal for junjun to pull away from koharu after a while, it wasn't normal that she would walk away from her at a fast pace. She became worried as soon as she sensed that her choice of words had set off junjun.

"junjun about what I said..."

"stop apologizing, its really annoying you know." Scoffing, Junjun opened the door to the restaurant and made her way in, slamming the door.

After hearing those words being said to her in such a harsh tone, koharu sunk her head even lower, disappointed in herself. With her head hung low she made her way inside the restaurant.

"mou~ can't you hurry up?"

Just as she was about to open the door, junjun came out and grabbed the miracle girl's hand, pulling her in closer. Junjun then kissed her senpai on the cheek and hurriedly turned around. The tall banana loving girl dragged her senpai in whilst trying to keep her chuckles silent, her cheeks revealing a rosy red.

"I hope you understood I was kidding right?" The panda thought to herself smiling.

They both walked through the hallway which lead to the eating area hand in hand. Koharu being a bit confused about what just happened, stopped in her tracks. She firmly squeezed junjun's hand, causing the girl who was currently leading, to stop.

"huh? is something wrong?"

"why?"

"what?" junjun tried to keep a blank expression on, her mouth quivering with laughter. "ahh, I guess she didn't get it, but I have other ways of making her understand."

"why did you do that?"

"nothing."

"nothing?? I thought you hated me!!"

"yeah, I do." and with that junjun continued to walk, her hands still linked with koharu's. "just a few more seconds."

"stop!" now she had enough. Koharu had enough of junjun playing with her. To joke around with her was one thing, but to play with her emotions was another. Koharu liked junjun and she became even more frustrated when she did these kinds of things to her. Countless times has she tried to see if junjun felt the same way about her, and these kinds of tricks made it increasingly difficult for her. Sometimes she just had a difficult time of knowing wether or not the panda was mad at her or not.

"stop?"

"stop playing with me! you're always doing this to me! you keep making me think one minute you're just joking around and then the next you sound like you're sick of me! and now this?! I swear you're so-"

All of a sudden koharu felt a soft pair of lips pressing against her own. Caught off guard by the sudden action, Koharu froze. Her senses were weakened and she couldn't think straight. She didn't believe what was happening and unconciously she began to kiss the girl she liked, back.

Junjun feeling the force koharu put into kissing her, let go. Once she let go, she noticed that the girl before her had draped their arms around her neck. Laughing faintly she turned her head to face koharu. Koharu who was completely spacing out, still had her lips in the "chuu" shape, making junjun laugh even harder.

"well, lets get going." junjun grabbed koharu's hand and resumed walking to the eating area where the rest of the members went ahead and ate without them.

"are? huh?!" Koharu's eyes shot wide open and followed the older panda."she...! she definately does! okay koharu, now is your chance go ahead and ask her!"

"ano... junjun?"

"hai?"

"do you like me?"

"nope."

"WHAT!!!"

"can't you tell it was a joke? of course I like you."

and with that koharu felt an unusual warmth throughout her body. She felt extremely happy to hear that junjun liked her, and now she felt even more happy since this means they would begin dating.

"well... I like you too... a lot."

The two new lovers, hand in hand, made their way to the table where the other members where. Seeing the totally "rabu-rabu" atmosphere between the two, various choking and coughing sounds could be heard from the three.

"kame? KAME!"
« Last Edit: July 22, 2011, 09:42:26 PM by ongakuSOUL »

Offline ShikyoxYaiba

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Re: Ongaku's Notebook (first fic: Mou~! KohaJun oneshot)
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2009, 01:41:27 AM »
I have to agree that I don't see them often as a romantic pair, but I DO love it when these two are together. They say the one you argue with most is the one you love most. (Well something like that.) :D Very cute oneshot. (A word of advice though:  try to capitalize after you open the quotation marks [when appropriate]. I dunno why, but that's the only thing that really bugged me.) I look forward to seeing more from you. :)

Individual comments:

Quote
"junjun wanna come out to eat with us?" The girl before her, one of her groupmates, stood no more than a few centimetres shorter than her, about 160cm or so.

Actually, Koharu's about 164.8cm... They said that on a recent Music Fighter for Naichau Kamo. Junjun's about 168cm. For a second there I got confused cuz Sayu's the one who's about 160cm. XD

Quote
Junjun, who was completely spaced out, felt someone jump onto her back. "w-who is this? gahh!"

Koharu wouldn't... So... ERI! She's the only one random enough to do it!

Quote
she shaked frantically in panic until a certain turtle slid off her jacket slowly, falling to the ground in a sitting postion. After a few moments she laughed wildly pointing at junjun's surprised face.

Shicchan: 1  8)

Quote
*Eri on ground*

"nee gaki-san? why is your nose bleeding?"

"i-its none of your business! shut up sayumi!"

:on lol:

Junjun teasing Koharu was great, too. I always find those relationships adorable. :3 And...

Quote
"kame? KAME!"

Oh no, she's really choking isn't she? XD *prepares for rice to fly out her nose* That WAS Gaki-san screaming that, right?

Offline Hotaru

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Re: Ongaku's Notebook (first fic: Mou~! KohaJun oneshot)
« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2009, 01:44:12 AM »
YOU DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

*runs around like crazy*

YAY! Keep going! :D :D

Offline lil_hamz

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Re: Ongaku's Notebook (first fic: Mou~! KohaJun oneshot)
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2009, 10:40:36 AM »
Ohhh, now I get why someone was yelling Kame. She was choking XD Thank you Shiichan for enlightening me :P

I LOL-ed at Risa's nosebleed at seeing Eri's panties :lol:

I can't really see Koha and Jun as a couple either but nevertheless I enjoyed reading this. Maybe you can change my mind in future with more of such fics :)

Offline strawb3rrykream

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Re: Ongaku's Notebook (first fic: Mou~! KohaJun oneshot)
« Reply #4 on: May 10, 2009, 05:59:29 PM »
Welcome to the fic-writing world! I hope you enjoy your stay~ :lol: Sorry, that was weird.

I love KohaJun~ I agree that it's hard to think of them in a romantic sense but their constant arguing is very amusing. Oi, excited Koha's voice is pretty annoying, isn't it? :lol: Oh yeah, and I nearly died from a nose bleed for the same reason as Gaki.... :P I'm glad they reached a "compromise" of sorts at the end, it was getting a little scary. Scary in the way that they were both starting to feel hurt from misunderstandings, which could have turned out badly. But I'm very happy that it didn't. Poor Eri choking at the end! :lol:

Really good first fic~ Keep up the good work!

Offline ongakuSOUL

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Re: Ongaku's Notebook (first fic: Mou~! KohaJun oneshot)
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2009, 04:19:56 AM »
@shikyoxyaiba: thank you for pointing that out, I'll remember that next time ^_^ I'll try to do that too next time, I would go back and edit but right now I feel too lazy to do that XD and yes that was gaki-san yelling eri's name :lol:

@hotaru: ruru-chi~! you commented! thank you once again for reading it!

@lil_hamz: The fics I'll be writing about will mostly be strange since the pairings aren't really common, especially since they will be composed of mostly jun-oriented fics (there never seem to be enough fics about her...)

@strawb3rrykream: thank you for the welcome! :)

and thank you to everyone who read it, it really encourages me to keep on writing ^_^



Offline JFC

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Re: Ongaku's Notebook (first fic: Mou~! KohaJun oneshot)
« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2009, 09:10:15 PM »
Yeah, I can totally picture KohaJun acting this way to each other (with Koharu being clueless and Junjun just having buttloads of fun at her expense  XD ).


And dare I say, poor Eri? :P

JPH!P :heart:'s kuro808, Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline ongakuSOUL

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Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've been having trouble coming up with newer ideas, but...

Here's my new oneshot! It has two parts so I'm not really sure if it's a oneshot or twoshot. This took me forever to write, it's probably the longest one I've written up 'till now. The idea sounded really interesting to me.

Well anyway, here it is! :D

Because I love you: Part 1

Friday. April, 9th. 3:30 am

I ran through the city streets as fast I could, my feet making loud pattering sounds as it pounded against the ground causing water to splash over to different areas of the pavement. My toes began to freeze from the lack of protection it had since I had left my shoes back at the dance studio. If I continued like this I would think that they would fall off any minute.  My clothes were soaked from head to toe, my white blouse far from being called damp. I breathed hard, my chest going up and down making small wheezing sounds.  The rain was really cold, and running with my back wet didn't help any further. The supposed police sirens I had been hearing in my head had been repeating themselves over and over again. I lay back against the brick wall of the alley I found shelter in, and held my head trying to figure what I had just done. My heart began to beat incredibly fast, allowing me to actually hear the sounds of my heartbeat clearly surging throughout my body.

"They'll find out about this for sure... what I did was... stupid, beyond stupid." I couldn't find a better word than that at the moment, my mind just went completely blank, and my selection of vocabulary became unavailable. Scenes of what happened back at the studio continually replayed themselves in my head. No matter how many times I would try and shake them off, they would reappear, tormenting me, haunting me.

People do crazy things for love, but what I did was far from being called crazy. I can never look Eri or any of the members in the face ever again, or anyone for that matter. What I did was unforgiveable.

With my back still on the brick wall, I collapsed onto the pavement landing on my bottom in a sitting postion, with my knees bent and pointing upwards. The rain continued to wet my body, and I embraced it all, somehow it comforted my nerves and hid the tears I shed.

"Is the weather always like this when someone has passed away?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Monday. April, 6th. 10:37 am

Great, another day where I have to see Gaki and Eri getting all lovey-dovey, they're not even dating but that sure is the aura they give off. I sighed and crossed the street, making my way over to the radio station. Why did I have to get paired up with Eri when Gaki is there? Couldn't it have just been me and Eri? What's so hard about that? Does the manager have a hard time writing "Kamei Eri" WITHOUT putting "Niigaki Risa" as guests for any show? It's like he has some incurable disease called "Gakikameosis" or something.

It's been ages since me and Eri have actually been together for anything, it kind of pisses me off. "Gaki this!" and "Gaki that!" ughh, I'm kind of getting tired hearing about freakin' Gaki. Why can't you ever pay attention to me...

"What the hell Eri, don't say hello to random people you don't even know."

"Ehh~.... YAAAYYY!"

"Don't go 'Yay!' for no reason!"

Those voices! Great just what I needed right before work, someone flirting non-stop with the girl I love. Well, I'll be seeing more of this anyway, no reason to avoid it. I walked up to them and gave them an unenthusiastic 'good morning'. You could practically see the dark clouds forming around me.

"Ohayo..."

"Reina! I called you yesterday to see if you wanted to go to the station together with me and Gaki-san but it seems like you didn't pick up." I knew she was gonna say that, that's why I didn't even bother picking up my phone yesterday.

"Hey are you listening to me? Lately reina its like you've been avoiding me." Really, I was the one avoiding you? Well if you would unlock your damn arms from Gaki's then we'd probably get the chance to talk.

"Reina..."

All of a sudden I felt something being laid upon my shoulder it was Eri's head, and she had her arm around mine. I immediately felt my face heat up and my heart started to beat incredibly fast.

"...Do you.. hate... me?" She looked up at me, pouting with her chin on my shoulder. I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks and my eyebrows twitching in reaction to how cute she was being. If she keeps staring at me like that I'll-

"SO... why didn't you pick up the phone?"

"UWAHH!" I jumped to the side, the sudden motion throwing Eri off balance. Out of nowhere Gaki put her head in between Eri's and mine. Her eyes looked as if they were about to pop out of her head! Hell that scared the crap out of me! Is she trying to...? I get it now. In a moment expect an unwanted sub-leader pulling Eri to her other side so that no contact will be made.

In a few moments as Eri was busy regaining her balance, Gaki yanked her over to her other side,  causing Eri to almost fall on her back. Now she was in the middle of the three of us. Greeaat...

Frowning, I remained silent and distanced myself away from them, my hands in my pockets. I stopped walking, allowing the two to go ahead of me. I wouldn't want to get in the way between them. It's like they say, three is a crowd. As I watched them walk further on, Eri turned her head around and looked at me worriedly. She opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. I smiled back at her to reassure her that I was fine, when in reality I wasn't.

...

Is she still looking?

...

"WHY IS IT ALWAYS LIKE THIS!!" I  kicked an invisible figure in front of me and I flailed my arms around, causing people walking by to give me strange looks. "WHY WON'T YOU EVER PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!" One of the nearby trashcans flew up into the air and landed on a poor unsuspecting victim, allowing all the garbage within the container to scatter into several places. This will definately be in the papers tomorrow.

"HOW COME SHE'S ALWAYS TAKING YOU AWAY?!" After a flurry of wild kicks and punches aimed at nothing, I stopped to catch my breath, making small puffs in the cold air.

"Wh-why, don't I have the guts to do something about it?" I-I'm a wimp. I just realized how wimpy I was being lately. All this time I've been putting up a "strong girl" front, yet when it comes to her. All my strength...

vanishes.

I can't even gather up the strength to tell her how I feel. Reina you're such a loser. I blame Gaki for the distance between me and Eri, but really it's my fault for not even doing anything about it. I'm pathetic...  Starting from today, you're definately gonna try harder.

"Thats it. I'm definately not giving up, one day we'll be together, I swear on it. I'll do whatever it takes. For real this time. It's on." With my newfound resolve, I walked on forward dusting myself off and pretending like nothing happened. I marched on and held my head high.

During the whole segment, Gaki and Eri did most of the talking. I remained quiet forcing myself to put on my best smile so as not to worry Eri. I guess it didn't work though since she kept looking back at me the whole time, a worried expression on her face. I didn't talk all that much and that really is a cause for worry, since I'm known for talking a lot. A moment ago I said I would do my best, but what happened?

As soon as the recording was done I rushed out towards the exit, but I couldn't leave first. I was the last one to leave since one of the hosts were asking me tons of questions about what was wrong with me during the session and on top of that she gave me a lecture about how if my mood seems even the slightest bit off the listeners can point it out. Who did she think she was? She only got the job yesterday, and its her first time working as a host on a radio show, so she shouldn't be lecturing me about stuff I already know. I cut her off in the middle of her lecture with a simple "Yeah, whatever." and hurriedly went to look for Eri. She's not going home with Gaki this time.

I went up and down the hallway outside the recording room, and checked to see if she was in any vacant rooms. I even went into the washroom to look for her. Releasing a heavy sigh, I slumped my shoulders and made my way to the elevator. Guess she went with Gaki huh? Wait! I took out my cellphone and pressed the speed dial number for Eri's phone. I'll just ask where she is and tell her to wait for me! I'm so smart.

...

Hey, this song is pretty catchy, guess elevator music isn't all that bad. Engulfed with the current tune, I didn't notice how long I had been waiting for Eri to pick up.

Okay... I've been waiting for a pretty long time, why isn't she picking up? I closed my cellphone  and gave up on trying to call Eri. I sratched my head in an irritated manner and released a loud grunt of annoyance. This is really making me frustrated.

The elevator made a loud "ding!" indicating that I was at my floor, and I stepped out. Huh? Where is everyone? There were tons of people here when I first came in a while ago.

"N-no...S-stop, people will see us here."

Wh-what the heck!! It sounds like someone is doing something dirty! All those heavy breathing sounds and light groans! ick! it makes me sick how some people are so indecent. Even though there seems to be no one in the hallways right now it doesn't mean you can just do whatever you want. Continuing to walk up the hallway, I noticed that the strange sounds continued to grow louder and louder, though I didn't see anyone in front of me, but rather it was to the side? As the volume of the voices increased with each step, so did my recognition of the two voices. Slowly creeping up the hallway to hear where it was coming from I finally stopped. This was the loudest point in which I could hear the voices. My eyes grew bigger and my eyebrows furrowed in shock. Isn't that Eri and Gaki?!

I've failed. I've officially failed and all my chances with Eri are gone. I may as well surrender to Gaki right now.

"Oi."

"Reina! I-its not!"

They broke apart from their kiss, but Gaki was so occupied with their little activity that she barely wanted to turn her head around, while Eri on the other hand responded immediately with a shocked look on her face. Waiting for the other girl to respond, I stood there saying nothing and analyzed their appearances. Eri's shirt was unbuttoned almost halfway down her blouse, and her skirt was lifted up since, well... Gaki's hand was there. Reaction Queen here on the flip side was untouched, her outfit looked fine, except for the few wrinkles her shirt had since... Eri was grabbing onto it. I stared at the both of them disgustingly. I looked at Eri, my eyes practically giving away how hurt I looked, but then I quickly averted them.

Now Risa is just going even further, she's even diving all the way down Eri's neck! What a pervert. I'm not waiting any more. I grabbed their hands and put them on top of each other.

"Here. I give up." And with that I calmly walked towards the exit, my head still held up high. Don't cry now Reina, don't cry now. Thats what I tried to tell myself, but no matter how hard I tried the salty fluid ran down my face anyway. I didn't bother wiping away the tears on my face. I bit my lower lip to contain myself from sobbing loudly. I paused for a few moments once I reached the exit doors, and tried to calm myself down. After that I pushed open the doors open, walking out of the station. When people say that their heart actually hurts, they're not joking, it feels like getting stabbed right there.

Thursday. April, 8th. 10:02 pm

"And a, one, two, three, four! and a, one- No, no Reina your timing is off! Everyone, your concert starts in three days and yet you don't have this dance down yet?!" Our dance instructor became extremely frustrated with us, or should I say me, at this point. We've redone this part over and over again, yet I keep messing up. This doesn't happen a lot. Usually I have all the steps memorized by this time.

"Alright, everyone. Let's take a fifteen minute break and hopefully Reina's memory will jog again. I'm kind of tired as well. We've been here for a while now." She didn't have to pick me out specifically, I'm sure everyone knows it's my fault.

"Reina, can I see you for a minute?" I nodded my head and made my way over. I'm sure she has a lot to say to me.

"What's wrong with you? By now you're fine. Is there anything on your mind?" I could say no, but that would be a lie. There was that incident from Monday. I guess I haven't quite gotten over it, and seeing the two of them together still hurts. I couldn't really dance all that well either since the both of them were right in front of me, and remembering what happened makes me feel awkward.

"No. What would make you think that?" I firmly said my response and walked off. If I didn't leave right there she'd dig even deeper into my response and I don't want that.

"Reina, come on, let's go out to eat together! Hurry up, our break isn't that long!" I heard Sayu's voice down the hallway. I'm really hungry, maybe food will take my mind off of things. I want some meat, meat is always good in times like this. I turned the corner, and while stretching my arms out I yawned.  I didn't get any sleep last night either, which is bad since I'll get eye bags. I scratched my eyes while walking up to Sayu. I opened one eye with my arm all the way up in the air since I was still stretching.

But instead of just Sayu, I saw Eri there as well, hiding behind Sayu fidgeting. I began to feel my heart rate pump up. My brain urged my feet to turn back, yet they wouldn't listen. This is bad really bad, hurry and think of some sort of excuse! Once I got to where Sayu was standing I turned back right away. Walk, keep walking, maybe she won't notice anything and ignore it. Marching back to the dance room, I felt someone grab my shirt and yank me backwards.

"Where are you going? I thought you came up here to go eat with us."

"Umm..." My eyes went back between Eri and Sayu. Eri was still fidgeting and staring down at the floor, while Sayu had her hands on her hips and was puffing up her cheeks while looking at me angrily. I then thought of an excuse, it was pretty lame but worth the try. "I thought I should get more practice, I didn't do a very good job today."

"YOU? more PRACTICE? What happened to all those comments? like 'that old hag. no wonder she can't get a boyfriend, who would want to date a girl who nags you all day long.' You were always the first one to run out the doors during break time. If you go back there she'll be waiting to nag you again."

"A-ahh well she isn't so bad." I turned around and ran back. If I can't stand even being near Eri how am I possibly going to be able to go and eat with her? It's impossible right now, really impossible."

"Reina!" Are you serious?? She's actually chasing me! I thought she hated physical activities of any sort!  There's the door! I turned the knob and ... closed it again. Gaki that musume of a bastard... First Eri and now Ai-chan.

"Reina!!" I grabbed sayu and put my hand over her mouth. "Be quiet for a minute." Sayu began to make muffled sounds under my mouth which only began to grow in volume because she was confused. "Shut up for a minute." I quietly whispered to her, and she shut up. At least she's obedient.

Through the small window the door had, I peeked through and looked at what the both of them were doing. Gaki was sitting on one of the chairs in the room and had Ai-chan on top of her, her legs wrapped around her body. She's actually taking Ai-chan's shirt off!! and then her bra and... WHAT IS SHE DOING NOW?! That two timing bitch. I actually gave Eri up because I thought it was pointless, but here you go playing with other girls! You're not getting away with this. Just wait after dance practice. You're dead.

As the rest of the practice progressed, I executed every move perfectly. I wanted dance practice to be quickly done and for that to happen I needed to do my best. I can't wait to get my hands on her.

"Okay everyone, that's it for today! Amazing work Reina! That was really unexpected."

"Thank you." I did a quick bow and went to fetch my things. I quickly got changed and was thankfully fast enough to avoid Junjun's random ass slaps. That women is a maniac in the dressing room I tell you. I leaned back on the wall outside of the rehearsal room and waited for Gaki, she was always the last one out since she always did some extra practice. In a few moments she came out with a towel around her neck, drinking a bottle of water.

"Tanakacchi, do you need something?"

I took her arm and dragged her all the way back into the rehearsal room. We're gonna have a really long talk and it would be rude for everyone to have to hear my voice pierce through their ears.

"Ouch! You're holding my arm too roughly!" I let go, her arm swinging from side to side once I did.

"I saw you getting pretty comfortable with Ai-chan in the rehearsal studio during break time."

"Huh? what are you talking about? We didn't do anything during break ti-"

In less than a second I closed the distance between me and her, and grabbed the neckline of her green shirt, pulling her face up closer to mine. "Don't play shit with me. I know you're just leading Eri on." I unleashed the best glare my face could possibly create. If I continue to stare at Gaki for this long she'd have holes in her face. She chuckled a little, as if she was mocking me and at the same time congratulating herself for keeping her secret up for this long. She's a sick bastard isn't she.

"I guess you've found me out. What? You're getting jealous cause' I'm taking away you're precious Eri?" My grip on her shirt loosened and eventually I had let go. She dusted herself off and stared at me, smirking.

I remained silent, my breath coming out of my nose heavily in anger. What she said was true and if I countered that statement it would make me look like a stubborn idiot, well I am, but in this situation I especially don't want a person like Gaki scolding me when I should be the one scolding her by giving her a good ass kicking. She laughed at seeing how she was in fact correct, and I remained silent, but the next words that came out of her mouth was not enough to retain me.

"Don't worry as soon as I'm done with her you can have her. She wasn't that amusing anyway. Tell me, what's so good about her?" My anger began to rise and I clenched my fists trying to retain myself. I don't care if she were to bad mouth me or anyone else, but to bad mouth Eri is a different thing. I clenched my fists harder and harder with each word that she spoke.  "She's just a big idiot that can't do anything right. You have such bad taste in girls. Don't worry you'll get her back once I'm done with her tonight. That's the only thing she's good for anyway. Ai-chan and Eri, they're the same." "That's it!

I dug my fist right into her face creating a red mark on her cheek and a cut on her lower lip. She staggered backwards, and eventually fell to the ground holding her jaw. I wasn't done with her yet though. I picked her back up and jammed my fist into her face once more. I pinned her down and got on top of her, giving her a few more punches repeatedly in the same area. "Don't. Fucking. say. that. about. ERI!!!" Letting go of her shirt, I wiped off some of the sweat forming on my face with my arm. I breathed hard, releasing all the anger within me.

"Y-you had no chance with her to begin with. She fell for me remember? And now I can do with her what I please." She propped herself up with struggle using her right arm and whispered in my ear, a sly smile on her face.

"And right now. I want her in bed... n-a-k-e-d. Naked." I picked her up, and jabbed my clenched hand into her stomach, sending her almost flying towards the mirrors in the studio. The mirrors cracked in response to the force which Gaki's body made when she hit the glass. I walked hurriedly towards her as she was busy regaining her balance, and took her by the head, smashing it against a nearby wall. I turned her around and kicked her back sending her to the ground. I stepped on her face and pushed my foot further so that her head would be squished between the floor and my foot. I had no sense of what I was doing anymore, my rage had controlled me and before I knew it I had punched Gaki in the face so many times, that it was impossible to know it was her. The blood gushed from all parts of her face, and various sizes of cuts could be found on her forehead, cheeks and lips. Her hair was all messed up and her clothes were extremely wrinkled with some of my footprints on it.

Calming down, I looked back at Gaki and felt satisfied, but what I expected next was enough for me to wish that it was me in her place.

After staring at her for a long time, I noticed it didn't seem she was breathing.

"What did I do?" Panicking, I checked her pulse just to make sure I wasn't over reacting. After ten seconds, I recieved no pulse. There's no doubt about it s-she's... dead.

"I-I didn't mean for it to be like this!" Leaning on both my arms hovering over Gaki, I sobbed. "Why?! Why didn't you fight back!?" I wanted to teach you a lesson... t-this, this isn't how I wanted it to end!

"Come back... Come back... DAMN IT RISA!! DON'T GO!"

- - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Friday. April, 9th. 8:05 am

The sun peeked through the shutters and shone on my face causing me to scrunch up my eyebrows. Putting my arm over my eyes so that the sun's rays would be blocked out, I slowly opened my eyes and noticed that I wasn't in the alley where I had fallen asleep anymore. I became alert and prepared to defend myself. In the midst of my preparation, I coughed and brang the snot coming out of my nose back in by breathing in air through my nostrils. My head felt dizzy and my neck felt hot. I breathed heavily although I didn't do any strenous work at all. Did I just get a cold? If I do die of a cold I wouldn't mind it. I remembered what I had done yesterday and thought it wouldn't be so bad if I died right here, either by the kidnapper or by this cold. I did deserve it afterall. Although I think someone has kidnapped me, this place seems extremely familiar. The piles of dirty clothes scattered around the room, the dirty socks hanging from the random places in the ceilings  and the opened drawers and closet doors- I know them all too well, this is-

"Reina! You're awake! Here eat this I made it!"

Eri's house.

- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - --  -
« Last Edit: June 19, 2009, 06:44:16 AM by ongakuSOUL »

Offline strawb3rrykream

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Re: Ongaku's Notebook (Second Fic: Because I love you -TanaKameGaki-)
« Reply #8 on: June 19, 2009, 07:11:42 AM »
Whoa. :shocked That was just whoa. But I fucking loved every second of its angstiness. :lol: I wanted to hug Reina so badly when she was beating herself up about being weak. I know how she feels. I REALLY can't imagine Gaki like that though. I think I would DIE if she was really like that. *is a HUGE Gaki fan* But I liked it, added a good twist. Reina=scary as fuck. I can't believe she killed her. And what's Eri gonna say when she finds out? :shocked:
BTW, Gaki doing naughty things with Eri and Ai-chan was hot. :D
I'm a big fan of your writing now~ :thumbsup

Offline Hotaru

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Re: Ongaku's Notebook (Second Fic: Because I love you -TanaKameGaki-)
« Reply #9 on: June 19, 2009, 08:17:54 AM »
WOW Ongaku-chan, keep going! ^_^

Offline kRisZ

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Re: Ongaku's Notebook (Second Fic: Because I love you -TanaKameGaki-)
« Reply #10 on: June 19, 2009, 01:31:09 PM »
Mou~!


Quote
Sounds at high frequencies could be harmful to electronics is what she trained herself to think.

 :lol: that's mean  and hilarious at the same time XD


Quote
I can see your strawberry panties showing. At least wear some shorties underneath!"

 :mon bleed2:


Quote
"ano... junjun?"

"hai?"

"do you like me?"

"nope."

"WHAT!!!"

 :lol:



Because I love you: Part 1


Quote
"Is the weather always like this when someone has passed away?"

eh?!


Quote
"Gakikameosis

lol



OMG!  that was  :shocked  :mon freeze: :mon scare: :OMG: :pleeease:  Risa's still alive right?  Why did Risa say those words and didn't fight back... I have a hunch... she liked Reina.?.

Offline ongakuSOUL

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Re: Ongaku's Notebook (Second Fic: Because I love you -TanaKameGaki-)
« Reply #11 on: June 20, 2009, 05:13:52 AM »
@ruru: Thanks for all your support this whole time! You're an awesome friend ^_^

@strawb3rrykream: Thanks a lot! :D Please look forward to my future fics ^_^ Don't worry there's a reason why Gaki was acting like such a bitch. I just hope I'm able to convey it well enough in part 2...

@kRisZ: Maybe she's alive and maybe she isn't ... :P I'm still deciding wether I should put her in critical condition in the hospital, or just completely kill her off. Hmm...close guess, but then again not really.

Lately I've been putting Reina as the extremely jealous character. I have to do something about that because I feel all guilty since Reina has other qualities I can write about lol. Bahh~ I'm thinking I should have made this a chapter fic, there's just so much more I want to write about  :(

Offline Hotaru

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Re: Ongaku's Notebook (Second Fic: Because I love you -TanaKameGaki-)
« Reply #12 on: June 20, 2009, 08:02:41 PM »
^No problem Ongaku-chan! ^_^

You're an awesome friend too. :D

Offline lil_hamz

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Re: Ongaku's Notebook (Second Fic: Because I love you -TanaKameGaki-)
« Reply #13 on: June 22, 2009, 09:38:47 AM »
Why haven't you updated???? WHY!!!! *menacingly glare* Kidding Kidding :P

But I'm so hooked on this new fic of yours that I can't wait to read a new chapter! It's that addicting and mysterious. I don't understand why Reina woke up with Eri there. And what's the real reason for Risa acting like the major nincompoo she is?

Offline stefy

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Re: Ongaku's Notebook (Second Fic: Because I love you -TanaKameGaki-)
« Reply #14 on: June 22, 2009, 07:34:37 PM »
^Gaki died here too! You happy right? ahahahaz. (kiddin)

Gaki being a bastard for once is new, she always gets an all round good 'guy' role. So is there a continuation to the TanaKame(dead)Gaki fic? xD

Offline ShikyoxYaiba

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Re: Ongaku's Notebook (Second Fic: Because I love you -TanaKameGaki-)
« Reply #15 on: June 22, 2009, 11:31:14 PM »
Eek! I didn't comment! (I must have read it on my iTouch and was too lazy...)

Well just to say, I demand part 2! And I'm in shock! How could Risa be like that!? :cry:

Offline JFC

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Re: Ongaku's Notebook (Second Fic: Because I love you -TanaKameGaki-)
« Reply #16 on: June 23, 2009, 06:40:17 AM »
Because I love you: Part 1

Holy...frakkin'...crap...:shocked

JPH!P :heart:'s kuro808, Fushigidane, ChrNo, Jab & marimari. Always.

Offline Sukoshi

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Re: Ongaku's Notebook (Second Fic: Because I love you -TanaKameGaki-)
« Reply #17 on: June 23, 2009, 01:21:42 PM »
woah what just happened?!  :shock:

Did Gaki really die?!  If so why is Eri so normal the next day, happily offering Reina food and all?  Is it because in reality Reina is down with a cold and dreamed it all? 

or did it really happen but Gaki a good person pretending to be evil so Reina would realize her feelings and do something about it?  If so...that was a bad bad plan for Gaki san.  or is it she's just really evil and we'll have to wait and see to know the real reason?

in any case, I must know what happens next!   :farofflook:

Offline ongakuSOUL

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Re: Ongaku's Notebook (Because I love you: PART 2 -TanaKameGaki-))
« Reply #18 on: June 27, 2009, 02:48:32 AM »
At the end of all this please feel free to hit me on the head...

Don't ask why just read.

Because I love you: Part 2


Friday. April, 9th. 8:06 am

"ERI! How did I get here??"

What am I doing in Eri's house?! The last thing I remember was that I was crying back at that alley, and nothing else apart from that. Did I fall asleep there?

"I called you to see if you wanted to walk home with me, but you didn't pick up your cellphone. Then I went to the rehearsal room to check if you were there, but since everyone was crowding around it because someone apparently trashed the place, I couldn't get in. Some people said there could've been a fight there as well since there were a few blood stains on the walls, mirrors and floors... actually there were more on the floors, so much that even the police started to investigate the place."

My eyes shot open and my pupils suddenly became smaller. It won't take long for them to figure out it was me, no time at all, that's why I really have to get out of here! The heavy pounding of my heart once again came back and all I could hear right now was the very sound. If I get caught, life is over for me in a different aspect other than dying. Eri, as well as the members will hate me and never want to see me again, all my fans will abandon me, Hello!Project will go down because of me, and I'll have to spend time in prison. After that where will I go?! Who would want to hire an idol who killed someone?! I didn't even finish highschool! It's impossible.

"Reina is something wrong?" Escape. That was the next thing that conquered my train of thought. I didn't know if it was a good idea or not, but I really didn't care. Fear was what took over me right now and logic seemed to be something unimportant at this point.

Taking the plate from her hands, practically grabbing it off of her, I stuffed the breakfast she made into my mouth as if I had been starving though I wasn't. I quickly thought of a way to get Eri away from me and escape, making up the plan as I continued to eat my breakfast. What do I do? If she were to know I had a cold then- wait... I felt the top of my head and noticed a wet spot that wasn't my skin. It was a cloth soaked in cold water, which apparently stuck to my forehead as I sat up. People put these on their heads to cool down a person's temperature when they have a cold or fever. Then She does know I'm sick! She'll never leave my side if it's like this then! Think, hmm...

"Can you get me something to drink and an extra pillow?"

"Sure!" She smiled brightly and skipped off to get my requested items. She seems so happy... maybe she doesn't know. I never really got how you could easily change topics while talking to her.

Hearing her footsteps fade into the kitchen, I quickly put on my clothes that were lying on the floor and... #&@$#!! Eri changed my clothes for me! Meaning she, she, she...! I checked my underwear to see if I was still wearing the same pair or not. I'm not. My cheeks heated up at the thought that Eri actually saw all of me, and I stared blankly into space.

What am I doing? Hurry up and get out!

After changing back into my clothes extremely fast, which mind you was freshly laundried, I went out of Eri's room with struggle and tip-toed towards the entrance doors. Halfway through the living room I began to sway in my walking and my headache worsened with each step. I held my head and tried my best to walk straight. I really won't get far like this, and since Eri is really fast she'd catch up with me, still I have to try. I opened the doors and put my foot forward to go out, feeling partially relieved since I was almost close to going outside of her house. I felt a hand around my wrist, the sudden action caused me to stand still, shocked. She caught me. This is a stupid idea, I should've just went out through a window or something! I can't think straight, my headache is too strong right now. My cold made my whole body weak causing my legs to give in. I collapsed to the ground, my shoulder rubbing against the door post as I did.

"Where are you going?" I couldn't answer. Telling her my reason for leaving would be too much on her.

"Just let me go."

"You have a cold! and considering that you wandered off last night I'm wondering where you're gonna go off to this time!" She tightened her grip on me, causing me to turn around and look up at her. Her expression showed great concern for me and her eyes became watery. Did I really worry her that much?

"Reina please stay." The tone in her voice became softer and her eyes were downcast. I had never seen Eri worry this much about something, and seeing the distress she felt for me made me worry for her as well. "Please." Although I wanted to stay, I just couldn't. If I stayed here any longer, I'm sure they'll find me. They were already at the studio investigating. They probably found out where I hid Gaki's body as well. I couldn't go too far with it and I didn't have anything big enough to put her body in to take it with me, so I used the back door in the rehearsal room which led to the back of the studio building, and carefully placed her in the huge garbage can there. The back of the building is an extremely narrow alleyway, which has tons of boxes piled on top of each other that blocked anyone from seeing what was in that narrow space, so hopefully no one would've seen me carrying her body away. I made it so that she would be at the abolute bottom, buried under all that garbage. It was a stupid idea I know, but there was no other way to hide what I did other than that. My hiding place was really simple, so I'm sure everyone aside from Eri knows Gaki is dead. That's why I REALLY must leave before they find me. But what will Eri feel if I abandon her right now when she was worried sick about me yesterday?

"Fine." I yanked my arm away from her in defeat. Holding my head in frustration, I got up and made my way back into her room my vision blurred. I really have no idea what I'm thinking. The thought that I made Eri worried was miraculously more important than my own safety right now. I guess my cold really is that bad.

"What happened?" I stopped walking and turned my head around to look at her. If I'm not cautious in how I answer then she will know.

"What do you mean?"

"Ever since after I found you in that alley, you've been acting weird, so I want to know, what happened to you?" A burn started to appear in my chest. The more Eri questioned me about my whereabouts last night, the more my guilt continued to increase, up until the point my chest started to burn. The scenes of how I killed Gaki played in my head over and over again. It was like a constant reminder from my conscience telling me to confess to the crime I had done.

Lie, just lie. If you even talk about at least one thing related to what happened at the studio, she will know about it. "Nothing! I just wanted to find shelter from the rain somewhere, and since I couldn't find any I figured I should just rest in that alley until the rain stops." I smiled widely, my face looking like a cat's as usual, and pretended to stretch my arms "I was really tired you know, so before I knew it I had fallen asleep haha!" She stared at me in disbelief and then turned her head away from me.

ba-dump ba-dump ba-dump

"Another lie huh? Reina I know I'm stupid, but I'm not that stupid. Tell me the real reason." I couldn't look at her straight in the face anymore. All the questions she was asking made me feel increasingly guilty, more so than I already was. The burn in my chest as a result of my guilt also increased and I felt the sudden urge to get it off my chest. It actually began to hurt this time.

"I told you, that was what happened."

tell the truth, you know it's killing you.

Who's voice was that?! It's right though! I have to tell someone, anyone! If I don't I'll crack! It hurts, it hurts so much! come on, go ahead and tell her what really happened. BE QUIET! I'm not telling her! No way! But if I don't get this off my chest I'll go insane! I began to tap my feet, hoping that it would help me control myself. The feeling of guilt within me shot up like crazy and my conscience began to haunt me. I didn't know what was wrong with me, all I wanted to do was release the pressure that I had been keeping in.

"So you're sticking with that lie? Both you and Gaki-san have been giving me a lot of those lately." She thinks Gaki is still alive? Well then I'll just have to tell her the truth wouldn't I? NO! stop!

"Gak-"

"Forget it, you can go home if you want to." Right there tears started to fall down her cheeks. Sniffling, she held her forearms, and looked down. Seeing her tears caused the guilt that nearly lead me to spill the beans to disappear for a short while. My mind suddenly was filled with thoughts about why Eri was crying. I took her hand and lead her to sit down. I pulled her into a deep hug, caressing her hair and whispered words of comfort into her ear. Why is she crying? I don't think it's about Gaki because right now she seems oblivious to what happened to her.

"Don't worry I'm not going anywhere."

"I just need you by my side right now. I haven't told anyone about this yet..." So she's crying because she wanted me by her side, but she couldn't find me and now that she's found me I want to leave her. I understand why she would feel this way.

"Told anyone what? and why not? Is it something important?"

"I didn't tell anyone because it's something really hard to tell them. I want you." She wants me? No-no way she means it that way. She's just asking me for something right? Yeah, that's it!

"Well, maybe I can do something about it."

She nodded and proceeded to tell me the reason for her sadness.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monday. April, 6th 11:42 am

Plowing through the crowd of people crossing the street, I quickly walked over to the train station, with Risa following close behind me.

"Kame, wait! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!"  I didn't bother turning my head. Risa was really making me angry with what she did, suddenly kissing me and feeling up my legs. I'm thinking a slap wasn't enough to convince her that what she did was beyond stupid. I was so embaressed, and Reina was standing right there and she still didn't stop! I wonder if Reina got the wrong idea about me and Risa. I sure hope not.

"Kame, wait, let me explain!" Risa put one of her hands on my shoulder, using me as support so she could catch her breath. I turned around and brushed her hand away.

"You're an idiot! Yeah, now it's my turn to call YOU the idiot!" I crossed my arms and continued to walk to the other side of the street while shouting at Risa. "You say you love me, but if you really love me you wouldn't be so rash and be so close to practically raping me!"

"What else am I supposed to do?! I've confessed to you like a billion times yet the reply I always get is 'you're kidding right?' and a massive load of laughter!"

"Risa, let me tell you something... You and Ai-chan are DATING. By confessing to me you're CHEATING." She opened her mouth to say something, but after hearing that what I said was right she backed away.

"I know, but I made a huge mistake."

"What?" I couldn't hear what she was saying since she was mumbling, so I just looked at her in confusion.

"My feelings have changed, forgive me because I didn't realize my feelings earlier. I really like you Kame..." How could you say that? You're dating Ai-chan! I remember how much trouble the group went because of you two. All those misunderstandings caused you two to fight so many times, and now you go ahead and say this to me? It's just unfair, to me, everyone and Ai-chan. I remember the other day how she was telling me how happy she was to be with you. I can't do this to her, it's just too much.

"Don't say that, just be quiet! We can't be together and you know it!"

"Why? Is it because of Reina? You like her don't you?" Why is she bringing Reina into all of this? She's right though, but I didn't think anyone really noticed that. She really has a sharp eye. I couldn't respond, I felt so embaressed that I lost the will to speak.

"I knew it. I really can't win against her can I? Even though I spend more time than her with you, you just can't get your mind off her. I guess that's what makes what I did earlier necessary." My jaw dropped and my arms hung loosely by my sides like noodles. Necessary?! Is something wrong with Risa today? Is her brain working properly?

"Apologize. Right now. To me and to Ai-chan."

"No."

slap!slap!

"How can you play with people's feelings so easily?! This is definately not the caring Risa I know. G-get away from me, don't follow me! Unless you come to your senses I never want to see you again!" She held her left cheek which had a red mark on it and remained like that until I could no longer see her anymore. Two slaps around this time really wasn''t enough.

Even if she were to break up with Ai-chan the next day, I still won't accept her confession. No matter what she does, she won't change my mind. Reina is the only person who's confession I will accept, that is if she ever does...

Wednesday. April, 8th. 1:20pm

I woke up, my eyelides snapping open, and stared at the ceiling. I felt like getting up, yet I didn't want to. Does that make sense? Come on Eri up you.. go? Ahh, my body isn't listening to my brain today. But I can't sleep anymore! Whatever, I'll just try and go back to sleep. I turned over on my side and with my pillow over my head, I forcefully made myself go back to sleep.

"It's impossible."

"Wake up Kame!"

"OSHIT!"

I fell out of my bed and landed on the floor, my body facing towards the ground in the position of an "H". Who was that! Rolling over, and then sitting up, I rubbed my head with the sheets still over me which were obstructing my view."Whoever you are! beware! my thighs can kill!"

"Your thighs?"

"Yeah that's right! S-so run away while you still can!"

"EHH??" I know that "EH?" anywhere! that's Risa! "Kame, it's just me so will you relax?"

"What do you want?? I told you I never wanted to see you again unless you came to you-"

"I just came here to apologize."  She lifted the sheets off of my head and chuckled a bit seeing how much I was overreacting right now. Well compared to her my screams were nothing.

"Your mom let me in and she wanted me to wake you up. She was really frustrated on how much you slept in." Mom should be used to it by now I do this all the time and I'll probably do it some more too, hmph. I climbed over to my bed and sat on top of it with my legs crossed.

"Where's mom though?"

"She said she went to go buy some stuff. Anyway, I just wanted to say sorry for umm... violating you."

"And?"

"Playing with people's feelings. Sorry for being a big idiot, I guess this is one of the few times I wasn't thinking before I've said something." I nodded my head in a proud manner and breathed in the air in my room through my nose heavily, only to cough shortly after that. So I guess this is how Risa feels when scolding other people?

"Let me just say this." I stopped nodding and my ears perked up to listen in to what she was about to say. Please don't say something stupid Risa. "Although you think I'm playing around with people and their emotions I'm not. I don't get how you can't see that."

I sighed and looked up at her frowning, my arms still crossed. "This again?"

"Yes, this again! You think it was easy for me to say I like you over and over again?!" she came closer and closer towards me. The look in her eyes scared me, they weren't the smiling eyes of Risa everyone knew. "Kame, I've already thought my decision thoroughly before telling you how I felt, even the first time I told you, and I realized this was the right one. That's why I haven't gaven up on you." Risa pushed me down towards my bed and pulled me into a deep kiss.  What is she doing?! Didn't she just apologize?? what sort of apology is this!  I tried to push her off me, but she pinned me down holding my wrists, her grip being hard. What's going on??

She continued to kiss me and eventually got so caught up in it, that she pushed her tongue through my lips and into my mouth. I let out a muffled cry, yet she didn't listen to me. She caressed my tongue with her's, licking every single area of it. After that, she went further down my body creating a trail of kisses from my cheek to my neck. Both my hands were  being held by her hand, and were pinned up over my head.

"Ri..sa, stop!" She isn't listening to me! My body isn't either, it was as if my defenses became weaker and I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't know what had happened to my strength to fight back.

Once she was done sucking on my neck, she lifted my shirt and went under my bra. She cupped my breasts and moved them in a circular motion, a bit too roughly. "Kame, your nipples are getting hard, are you enjoying this?" I couldn't answer, my will to speak was stolen from me and still, despite that she went on with what she was doing. Risa ripped off my shirt and took off my bra. She licked my nipples a few times and started to suck on them, and while doing that, her other hand accompanied my other breast, squeezing them. I tried once more to push her off of me, but It didn't work, my hand just grabbed onto her shirt lifelessly. I couldn't push her off no matter how many times I would tell my arms to move. My brain knew exactly what to do, but for some reason my body shut off and wasn't listening. My tears started to fall. I couldn't take how she touched me in places I didn't want her to touch and I hated how helpless I felt. I felt scared, why is she doing this to me?

"I know you'll like this. Right kame?" I stared at her in the eyes. They were blank and held no emotion, other than lust.

Out of no where she took off my pyjama pants and underwear in one swift movement, and stuck one of her fingers in my private area. One finger went in and then another. I squirmed at the touch. Thankfully it apparently was just in time to awaken my body. I kicked her off, her head snapped back and she fell off my bed. I grabbed my bedsheets, covering myself up. My eyes didn't dare meet hers, the shame I felt was way to much.

"So this is your way of saying sorry? What a liar you are."

"Kame, I-"

"SHUT.UP. You tell me you love me, but what you did right now was the total opposite of that." She didn't say anything, she remained silent and looked at me, complete shock on her face. It's like real Risa came back after being possesed by something else.

"I wish you would just disappear from my life." I know I thought I would never say that but I felt so angry, how could I not? I kind of think she deserves it too.

"I'm sorry kame! I didn't know what wa-"

"JUST GET OUT!!" I threw a pillow at her, my tears coming down even harder than before. In response to that she hurriedly got up and left.

It's inevitable that I'll see you again, but for sure though, I've lost all respect for you and you've lost all ties with me. Yet even though I now this, the wound that you've given me will scar for sure, and I don't think anyone can make it go away. maybe except that one person.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Friday. April, 9th. 9:03 am

All the things that Eri told me made me feel as if I had failed in protecting her. I wanted to get mad at Gaki, yet there was no more room for me to do so. I already got rid off her, so what more could I do to her now.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier??" Even though I new Gaki was gone, I still couldn't get over what had happened to Eri.

"I wanted to last night but you disappeared remember? I didn't sleep since it took me forever to find you."

"I'm never there for you am I?" I hugged her tightly, grabbing her shirt as I did so. I can't believe how I just left her alone! If I was there then maybe that would've never happened! Now Eri is going to have to live with this for the rest of her life. What can I do now though? I'll end up hurting her even more now because of what I did. All these things happening all at once, this is too much on my heart at the moment!

"You're the only one I trust Reina."

At that moment I felt Eri push her soft pair of lips onto mine. They were moist and tasted like strawberries. All I could do was sit there, completely shocked. Eri, likes me? She likes me?! We broke apart after having stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity to me.

"Eri, this is too sudden. Are you sure you'll be alright?"

"No, but somehow I feel like I can trust you. I've always liked you Reina." Eri don't say that, you can't trust me, I'm the last person you would want to trust. I thought I was strong by beating up people when I got mad, but that's not right, that's not what makes me strong. In truth I'm weak, and I'm not fit to protect you, therefore we can't be together because all I will bring you is pain and suffering.

"I can't protect you Eri-" I looked up to face Eri, and she wasn't there. Wasn't I just talking to her? Turning my head to the side, I saw that she had fallen asleep on my shoulder. She looked so cute, like a little kid. I laid her down on the sofa for a brief moment and went to fetch a pillow and blanket. I put the pillow under her head and the blanket over her body. I lifted her bangs up and kissed her forehead, and after doing so, I stared at her sleeping. Creepy I know, but I couldn't help it. Wouldn't you look at her as well? I smiled, but I felt like something had yet to be explained. Walking over the the vacant sofa seat next to the one Eri was on, I staggered, almost falling down. My body was burning, my headache became even more worse and I wanted to stop thinking and just go to sleep, but something was still disturbing me. I pondered at what it could be, and I finally got to the conlusion.

What I did to Gaki... was it right despite what I just heard? At first my perception was that she was using Eri and Ai-chan as tools for her own pleasure, but if that's not true then why did I go to such an extreme for? I didn't know the fact that she fully violated Eri before, so doesn't that make my reason stupid? Because I was jealous, and angry? I think that shows how much self control I lack. Then really, didn't I kill Gaki for no reason? Arghh.. I'm so confused, and I want to stop thinking about this, but I won't be able to rest if I do.

One thing I don't get though is, why didn't she fight back? She would have been able to stop me if she at least tried then why not?

"I wish you would just disappear from my life."

That could be it, that has to be it. Risa... you wanted to die didn't you? You didn't want to stop me didn't you?! Even though what you did was completely wrong and stupid, I shouldn't have killed you! You're still my friend, the person I've known for many years, I just wish I figured that out before it was too late. Both of us were wrong, and instead of caring for Eri we ended up hurting her instead. Love totally got the best of us.

I got up and went over to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth, washed my face and fixed myself up. I leaned over the sink and looked myself in the mirror. Should I turn myself in? It's probably the best thing to do... it's the fair thing to do right?  That's definately what must be done. I finished fixing myself up and got a jacket to warm myself from the cold. I put on some socks and found my shoes which lay near the entrance.  I wonder if I'll be fine like this, better call a taxi, if I commute by myself I'll faint. After calling the taxi company and asking for a cab, I took a nearby pen and found some paper. I began to write my message to Eri once she wakes up.

Eri, I'm sorry. I can't be with you and I can't protect you. I know that if I leave, you'll end up hurting more, but if I stay with you what will become of us? You'll find out sooner or later what I did, and hate me just like Gaki. I've already caused enough trouble, for you and everyone, so you guys don't need me anymore. Know one thing though, I always did love you. I wish I just had the guts to say that before all this happened.

I looked over her once more and smiled, a painful smile. The tears rolled down my cheeks, and I wiped them off with my sleeve, some of them falling onto Eri's forehead. For the last time I kissed her on the lips, making sure to remember the feeling.

"Goodbye."

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Offline Hotaru

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Re: Ongaku's Notebook (Because I love you: PART 2 -TanaKameGaki-)
« Reply #19 on: June 27, 2009, 04:41:07 AM »
OMG Poor Eri. :(

She likes Reina, not Risa. :D

But Reina has to leave. :(

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