epiclulz fics and OS- Why do you love me? (kojiyuu short OS)

[Megumi]

What the heck`?! How did I miss this?!
A 12 years old kid writing so epic crack fics 

Respect!

ArígatoU!

[epiclulz]

GUESS WHO'S BACK
BACK AGAIN
EPICLULZ'S BACK! TELL A FRIEND
Lol I should wait a few more months before writing SasshiRabu lol. For now I won't tread into writing *ahem* fics. So I write what I'm best at - CRACKSPAZZ!!!

Partly based on my days in school. (BUT OBVIOUSLY NOT THE KISSING AND GHEYNESS AND SHYT)

AKB Primary School
AKB Primary school. The crackiest school run by Akimoto Yasushi. There is only one class, Primary 6A. Most of the students are 15years old and should be in secondnary school already.

Why? Because the students are wild and failed their exams repeatedly.

All of the teachers quit except for Akimoto Yasushi's daughter, Akimoto Sayaka. However, she is only 16 and good at teaching sports. She's very veryyyy fierce during sports lessons but cracky during other lessons.

So one day when a woman called Ohori Megumi went for an interview, she was immediately accepted.

Meetan: FUFUFUFU KEKEKEKE ONE WHOLE CLASS OF LOVELY LOLIS TO HARASS MUAHAHAHAH*walks into class*

*Yuko on top of Haruna on the teacher's table kissing passionately*
*Sae fighting with Sayaka* *Sasshi clinging onto Lovetan* *Mayu having epic otaku cosplay swordfight with Yuki* *Rena fighting with Jurina over melonpan*
*Takamina piggybacking Acchan but fell to the ground* *Kumi pushing Kanon to a wall*

Meetan: HELLO EVERYONE!! FROM NOW ON I'M YOUR TEACHER!!! YOU CAN CALL ME MEGUMI-SENSEI!!! (muahahaha the lolis are experienced no? me gusta)
Everyone: Wtf?
Meetan: Now please take out your Science books! Because that is my favourite subject!
Everyone: What Science books? What books?
Meetan: Oh nvm then. Just bring them tomorrow. Now, continue whatever you're doing!

Meetan's thoughts
I'll just obseve them from here... UFUFUFUFU. They are so ghey... This is loliheaven for me!!! Wahahahaha!! Screw low salary, the girls are so ASDFGHJKL!!!

"Chiyuu?"
Meetan: OMG YOU'RE SO CUUUUUTE!!
Tomomi: Ah, sensei passed out. Tomochin~ Where are you chiyuu?

And so, the girls did whatever they were doing...
------------------------------------------------------------

Crack much? And can you guess why I chose Science? Will update tomorrow. My Science lessons are very pervy. My Science teacher is awesome but very very fierce lol.

Do you want me to add more pairings?

[sakura_drop_]

LOLOL

Yes, add TomoTomo 

[aruka]

My my... such a corrupted class we have here.

*Yuko on top of Haruna on the teacher's table kissing passionately*
*Sae fighting with Sayaka* *Sasshi clinging onto Lovetan* *Mayu having epic otaku cosplay swordfight with Yuki* *Rena fighting with Jurina over melonpan*
*Takamina piggybacking Acchan but fell to the ground* *Kumi pushing Kanon to a wall*

Both Yuko and Haruna are obviously growing too fast. But they're already 15 years old, so I guess it's more tolerable. <hush! what am I thinking>
Btw, Sae and Sayaka fighting? A student fights with her own teacher?

Meanwhile, the fact that Meetan came to teach... getting 100% corrupted is only a matter of time.
What else do you have up your sleeves besides the 'science', sensei?

On another note, how about adding the SKE and/or NMB pairings? In some degree they can be more perverted than the AKBs.

[yukofan]

oh mai gah..haruna and yuko..kids these days..LOL..i'm speechless..

meethan is a loli lover (pedophile)..what a scary teacher..and she's a pervert too..

hahaha..i'll wait for your update..i wonder what will happen to the class.

[epiclulz]

Thank you everyone for the comments and 1000+ reads!
And yes, I'll add more pairings and characters.

Students:
16yo - Akimoto Sayaka
15yo - Oshima Yuko, Kojima Haruna, Sashihara Rino, Miyazawa Sae, Takahashi Minami, Maeda Atsuko, Itano Tomomi, Kasai
          Tomomi, Yamamoto Sayaka, Watanabe Miyuki, Matsui Rena, Furukawa Airi, Yagami Kumi, Kashiwagi Yuki, Yokoyama
          Yui
14yo - Watanabe Mayu, Oota Aika, Nakagawa Haruka, Hirajima Natsumi
13yo - Matsui Jurina, Kimoto Kanon, Momoka Kinoshita
12yo - Miyawaki Sakura, Oku Manami

Teachers:
134yo - Ohori Megumi
16yo - Akimoto Sayaka(PE)

Chapter 1
Meetan:Ufufu. More students came today. That girl called Yamamoto Sayaka has huuuuge boobs!!! I want to touch them.   
            Ooh, there's a cute Italian girl. Let me impress her with my Italian skillz.
Meetan: Perché è una ragazza carina come te a scuola?(Why is such a cute girl like you doing in school? GOOGLE TRANSLATE)
Manami: Ah questo è imbarazzante>. <Grazie Sensei. (Ah this is embarrassing. Thank you sensei!GOOGLE TRANSLATE USED)
*Aika, Nacchan, Mayu and Harugon running around corridor like mad*
Sayaka:OI! LESSONS STARTED ALREADY!

*everyone present in class, Science lesson starts.*
Meetan: BLAHBLAHBLAHNYAHHNYAH and YES THIS IS THE MOST INTERESTING CHAPTER!! SEXUAL REPRODUCTION IN
            ANIMALS!!!
Yuko, Jurina, Momoka, perverts etc: Fufufufu. Sensei, you don't need to teach us this chapter.
Meetan: But for the benefits of the innocent ones, I shall teach this chapter.
Everyone:...
Meetan: And this part of the body is called the ****** and for exams please do not use slang terms like **** or **** etc. 
            &#%@&*@*%#@^(@$******(Content of lesson censored)

*riiiing(recess bell)*
Almost everyone runs out of classroom, Meetan goes to staff office.
Only Yuko and Haruna left in classroom.

Yuko: LOL THAT WAS AN EPIC LESSON!!!!!
Haruna:...
Yuko: I didn't know our class had so many students, especially the huge boobed girl!!!
Haruna: *jealous* I'm not good enough for you eh? *leaves*
Yuko: Wait Nyannyan! *grabs onto arm and pushes Haruna against wall* You're perfect!!! I love you the most!!
Haruna:*smirks* Prove it then.
*making out*
------------------------
Aika: Stop clinging onto me, Sasshi. I'm trying to race along the corridor with them.
Sasshi No, Ai-chan! You have been ignoring me for the past few days!! I'm so lonely...
*Aika kisses Sasshi on the cheek*
Aika: There there. Now let me play ok?
Sasshi: YES!!! I LOVE YOU AI-CHAN!!!
------------------------
Sayaka wrestling with Sae in the basketball court, Acchan riding on Takamina. Sakura, Kanon and Tomo~mi is confused about the lesson and decides to ask Momoka, Airi.
Momoka and Airi: Oh you really want to know what the lesson was about?
Innocent ones: Yes!
Momoka and Airi: Ufufufu. Let us commence the lesson.
*kyaaaaaaa! Random screams*
----------------------
Kuumin helping Tomochin to paint nails, Rena giving Jurina super spicy melonpan mouth to mouth, Yukirin staring at Mayu. Yui being a weird stalker while Manami is studying somewhere.

*riiiiiing*
*everyone goes back to class*
Meetan: NOW ITS SCIENCE LESSONS AGAIN!!!
Everyone: Sweatdrop...
Meetan: What adaptations do animals have to attract mates?
Yuko: HUUUGE BOOBS JUST LIKE SAYANEE'S!!!!
Meetan: You're correct!!! Just kidding. Can't you see that animals' boobs are non-existent? Boobs are only for humans. They have special mating calls blahblah blah nyah nyah. Then once the animals are together they will start having sex. LOL just kidding, please don't write that down in your worksheets if not Akimoto Yasushi-san will come after me.
Annnd so they had Science for the whole day...



CRACK IS CRACK LOLS. DIDNT REREAD AT ALL BUT I GOT A FEELING ITS PURE CRACKKKK

[yukofan]

hahaha..
haruna and yuko made out in the class..LOL..really? what if teacher or other student know what they are doing..
sashirabu is so cute..

can't wait for the next update..

[bunny_rabbit]

what a pervy class we got here...

and what the heck with meetan's age

Teachers:
134yo - Ohori Megumi
16yo - Akimoto Sayaka(PE)

[yuukimoko]

HEeeeh~ this is really interesting! Just hope it has more Mayuki.....!!!! But its still very interesting and I loved the Kojiyuu part~

update soon~!

[sakura_drop_]

I thought I'd leave a proper comment this time, coz you deserve it 

Students:
16yo - Akimoto Sayaka
Teachers:
16yo - Akimoto Sayaka(PE)

So she's the teacher and at the same time a student, huh? Awesome. GJ, Sayaka 

Teachers:
134yo - Ohori Megumi

This cracked me up doesn't it have to be 34yo? 

Meetan: Perché è una ragazza carina come te a scuola?(Why is such a cute girl like you doing in school? GOOGLE TRANSLATE)
Manami: Ah questo è imbarazzante>. <Grazie Sensei. (Ah this is embarrassing. Thank you sensei!GOOGLE TRANSLATE USED)

Already hitting on Okutama, huh? 

Meetan: BLAHBLAHBLAHNYAHHNYAH and YES THIS IS THE MOST INTERESTING CHAPTER!! SEXUAL REPRODUCTION IN
            ANIMALS!!!
Yuko, Jurina, Momoka, perverts etc: Fufufufu. Sensei, you don't need to teach us this chapter.
Meetan: But for the benefits of the innocent ones, I shall teach this chapter.
Everyone:...
Meetan: And this part of the body is called the ****** and for exams please do not use slang terms like **** or **** etc. 
            &#%@&*@*%#@^(@$******(Content of lesson censored)

Of course, you perverts you  But yeah, I love the censored lesson *imagination running wild* 

Yuko: LOL THAT WAS AN EPIC LESSON!!!!!
Haruna:...
Yuko: I didn't know our class had so many students, especially the huge boobed girl!!!
Haruna: *jealous* I'm not good enough for you eh? *leaves*
Yuko: Wait Nyannyan! *grabs onto arm and pushes Haruna against wall* You're perfect!!! I love you the most!!
Haruna:*smirks* Prove it then.
*making out*

UWAH, HOT KojiYuu 

Aika: Stop clinging onto me, Sasshi. I'm trying to race along the corridor with them.
Sasshi No, Ai-chan! You have been ignoring me for the past few days!! I'm so lonely...
*Aika kisses Sasshi on the cheek*
Aika: There there. Now let me play ok?
Sasshi: YES!!! I LOVE YOU AI-CHAN!!!

so sweet  The kiss made Sasshi happy extra ultra super happy 

Sayaka wrestling with Sae in the basketball court, Acchan riding on Takamina. Sakura, Kanon and Tomo~mi is confused about the lesson and decides to ask Momoka, Airi.
Momoka and Airi: Oh you really want to know what the lesson was about?
Innocent ones: Yes!
Momoka and Airi: Ufufufu. Let us commence the lesson.
*kyaaaaaaa! Random screams*

Ah, AtsuMina quirky as always, and poor girls, suffering from those perverts 

Kuumin helping Tomochin to paint nails, Rena giving Jurina super spicy melonpan mouth to mouth, Yukirin staring at Mayu. Yui being a weird stalker while Manami is studying somewhere.

I imagine what you described here, and I'm now grinning like crazy 

Meetan: What adaptations do animals have to attract mates?
Yuko: HUUUGE BOOBS JUST LIKE SAYANEE'S!!!!

Yuko-sama!  She never fails to amuse me, god, look at your Haruna, and please forget Sayanee. You belong with your NyanNyan and with Rena-sama in my dreams and fics

Annnd so they had Science for the whole day...

Oh boy, poor kids 

CRACK IS CRACK LOLS. DIDNT REREAD AT ALL BUT I GOT A FEELING ITS PURE CRACKKKK

But this crack, being PURE CRACK, is actually a win, PURE WIN 

Update soon, PLZ Take your time and update when you can 

Thank you for this crack 

[turratar]

Lol this is some of the best crack fiction I have read
P.S Epic censorship

[epiclulz]

@yukofan I'll bet Yuko will be like,"Wanna join us?" LOL in the prolouge they were already making out LOL
@bunny_rabbit Pedobaba takes the virginity of lolis uses her pervyness to stay alive.
@yuukimoko This chapter will have Mayuki!!! YAYYYY(I'm so excited about the crack I write)
@sakura_drop_ Maybe I should write a YukoRena fic for you then? But my idea will make Kojiyuu shippers(including me) raaage. Considering it.
@turratar I specialise in crack... Most of the ideas for jokes are taken from my class. (BUT NOT THE MAKING OUT AND HORNINESS My class is pervy.)
BTW anyone noticed the Watarirouka Hashiritai pun that I made?(Corridor running team)
---------------------------------------------
Chapter 2

Everyone: Sensei is late today...
-meanwhile-
Yasushi: WTF IS THIS?!! WHY ARE THERE X-RATED DRAWING AND ANSWERS ON THESE WORKSHEETS?!!!
Meetan: I dunno lol, they are more experienced than me. *walks off*
---------------------------------------------
Meetan: Today we'll have math lessons!
Pervs: ...Shit. I don't think there will be any pervyness to make fun of.
Meetan: BLAHADBADGHAEIGNAIBGQW3E Can anyone tell me what is pattern no. 70?
Yuko: MOUTHWASH!!! (A/N very pervy joke related to 69)
Pervs: HAHAHAHAHAHAH
Innocent ones: ???????
Haruna: Yuko, stop it! *smacks Yuko's head*
---------------------------------------------
Meetan: Now let's learn algebra!
Yuko: LOLOLOL ALGAE BRA
Pervs: LOLOLOLOLOLOL
Innocent ones: sweatdrop...
Meetan: OSHIMA YUKO YOU ARE TO STAY BACK AFTER SCHOOL.
Pervs: HARUNA Y U SO TSUNDERE NOW YUKO'S GONNA GET RAPED BY PEDOBABA
Meetan: No... She's too corrupted to be a loli and I only like lolis...
--------------------------------------------
*break time*
Sasshi: Sensei, do you like french kiss?
Meetan: Ohohohoho! Of course I do!*trollface on*
Sasshi: Really, sensei? I've been practising it with Ai-chan everyday!
Meetan: Ohohohohoho really? Care for a demonstration?
Sasshi and Aika: Sure! *starts doing wotagei to Kakkowarui I love you*
Meetan: sweatdrop...
--------------------------------------------
Yuki: Mayu, where are you dragging me off to?
Mayu: I want to try something I read in a manga.
Yuki: Eh? Why are you drawing a circle?
Mayu: This is a magic circle! If I kiss you in it I'll be able to transfer my magic power to you!(A/N Mahou Sensei Negima)
Yuki: So childish...
Mayu: You don't want to do it? *puppy eyes*
Yuki: No, I jus-
Mayu: *kissing Yuki* The deeper the kiss, the stronger the contract... *slips tongue into Yuki's mouth*
Yuki: *blush///*
--------------------------------------------
*Takamina carrying Acchan while Acchan reads a book, both fall to the ground*
Acchan: Minami, can you stop falling down? I can't concentrate on my book.
Takamina: Why do you need me to carry you...
Acchan: I'm trying to make you grow taller.
Takamina: What type of logic is that...
Acchan: I'll make it up to you later, okay?
Takamina: *immediately stands up*
--------------------------------------------
Sae: I demand a rematch! You won me last week because I wasn't paying attention!
Sayaka: Fine with me! Let's see who's the one better at sports!
*plugs in wii controllers*
--------------------------------------------
Airi and Yui: Sakura-channnnnnnn! Can you call us oneechan?(A/N Referring to HapiHori where Airi was pedospazzing over Furuhata Nao)
Sakura(lolicuteness overload): Oneechan~
Airi and Yui: *nosebleeds and faints*
Sakura: ??????? Senpai is so weird...
--------------------------------------------
Kanon: Eh? K-kumi senpai, a-are you sure about this? I-I mean what if someone catches us?
Kumi: Shhh... There will only be me and you here... *pushes Kanon to wall and kisses her*
Yasushi: Ohohohoho! I've filmed it down. Time to put this in a music video!
--------------------------------------------
Miyuki: Sayanee, why are you boobs so big?
Sayanee: It's because Momoka has been groping them everyday... *dangerous glare*
Momoka(creeping behind Sayanee): SHIT! She noticed me. Time to run!
--------------------------------------------
Harugon and Nacchan: Manami... Be careful of sensei.
Manami: Eh? Why?
Harugon and Nacchan: Avoid her at all costs... she's hitting on you.
--------------------------------------------
Tomo~mi: Tomochin, do you want me to paint your nails chiyuu?
Tomochin: Ah, Kumi has already done that for me.
Tomo~mi: Tomo is jealous chiyuu...
Tomochin: *kisses Tomo~mi* I want to do other things with you...
*making out*
--------------------------------------------
Rena: Jurina! I've found a way to make you like spicy food! Spicy Melonpan!
Jurina: You already gave me that last week...
Rena: *puts melonpan in mouth*
Jurina: Eh? Why are you eati-
Rena:*kisses Jurina*
Kuchi Utsushi no Melonpan?!!!
-------------------------------------------
-break ends-
Meetan: Now we'll have language lessons. Can anyone compose and haiku for me?
Sayaka: *Hyakunin Isshu*
Meetan: Very good but that's not a haiku(5-7-5)
Yuko: Me!! Me I have one!
         NyanNyan is perfect
         Big boobs, nice ass and cute face
         My hot sexy wife
Everyone: sweatdrop...
Haruna: *blush///*
------------------------------------------
Meetan: SCREW LANGUAGE!! LET'S GO ONTO HEALTH EDUCATION NOW!! Anyone aspiring to become a nurse/doctor?
Acchan: *raises hand*
Meetan:

LOL..be a medical student and harass you patient..trust me..LOL..i'm a medical student who practicing in hospital now. just say "sir/miss,could you take off your shirt/trousers/skirt? i need to examine your xxxxx" and they will do what you say..LOL..LOL..LOL..

Acchan: Really? I thought only Minami will listen to me.
Takamina: *blush///*
-----------------------------------------
Meetan: During puberty, girls with feel attraction towards the opposite gender.
Everyone: We don't get it.
Meetan: Your chest will start to develop...
Sasshi: I don't get it.           
Sayanee: I get it.
Meetan: And you will start to feel horny and make out everywhere...
Everyone: *blush///* WTF? HOW DID SHE KNOW?
-----------------------------------------
-after school-
Meetan: Yuko...
Yuko: *nervous* Yes, sensei?
Meetan: PLEASE JOIN ME IN HARASSING ALL THE LOLIS! I NEED YOUR HELP.
Yuko: I'LL HELP! BUT DON'T HARASS HARUNA!
Meetan: DEAL!
----------------------------------------

CRACKKKKK

[bunny_rabbit]

hohoho...yuko and pedobaba joinforces harassing the lolis

nice one kiddo

[sakura_drop_]

Do not force yourself but please write YukoRena, me wants 

*saves spot for commenting later*

[kahem]

Hahaha crazy! They are all crazy in that school!

[yuukimoko]

cute Mayuki!!!


mou~~this fic is really good~

[yukofan]

Wait, Meetan quoted my words? LOL..LOL..LOL..
SasshiRabu..LOL..i thought they will do the real FreKiss..
Yuko..her pervyness is so awesome. And she’ll help meetan to harass lolis..hahaha..
OMG, Meetan..i don’t know what to say about this awesome teacher..She’s EPIC..

[YuuMitsuaki]

~LOL~I love it, man!!!!
Soooooooooo perverted!!! 
and i love the last one  poor lolis
Meetan and Yuko  => nowhere to run     


Please keep writing  i love you!!!

[epiclulz]

@bunny_rabbit LOL I'M NOT A KIDDO. I'M A FULL-FLEDGED PERVERT!! But you can still call me kiddo .
@sakura_drop_ I also kinda ship GekiYuko too LOL I hope in MajiGaku3 got kissing scenes LOL. Paruru is the main char. Moaaar pairings to ship!!!
@kahem YES. CRAZY. MUST. INFLUENCE THE WHOLE OF JPHIP TO BE CRAZYYYY (lol we already are)
@yuukimoko Uwahh I recieved praise for such a crack fic *acts all shy*
@yukofan Please. Come to Singapore together with Yuko and Meetan. Teach my class forensics, Science, Psychology and whatever. LOL and you really are a 
                         perv aren't you, thinking that they would do the actual french kiss? Jailbait Lovetan!!! LOL
@YuuMitsuaki Uwahhh I received a confession I love you too~ JUST KIDDING LOL I'M ON CRACK

I think I can only update on weekends and Wednesdays    I have school...

This is a short Mayuki oneshot(non-crack LOL) for reaching over 1000 views!!!!! Based on the song Akihabalove by perfume!! This song is so old and they were so young last time! (LOLICON MODE ON) This song is so apt lol, with Mayu being an otaku and Akihabara and all that LOL


Akihabalove
I am an otaku.

I am a wota of Morning Musume.

She has long hair but works at a danso cafe.

I am told that I look like a bishounen.

I came to like you. I always asked for you whenever I came to the danso cafe.

You always asked for me and ordered the same thing.

I would always ask you to chat with me.

You would always talk about anime. I had no idea what you were talking about so I just looked at your cute face.

"Ah, it seems that someone else is asking for me," you would always say. Was that just an excuse?

I wanted to spend more time with you. But duty calls. Am I falling in love with you?

I come to the cafe more often. I even started to watch less and less anime. Am I falling in love with you?

We exhanged phone numbers. We were soon going out with each other.

Someone who accepts me. A crazed otaku.

Someone who accepts me. A crazy wota.

We both went for the AKB48 auditions.

I was so happy we both passed.

We are hardly competent girls, you know.

I was chosen to be the captain of the new team.

We were very popular.

The so called "mother and daughter" relationship we had made us popular.

We had this no dating rule.

We called our kisses and touches "fanservice".

Only we knew what we did.

After a few months of dating, we finally did "that".

You were always there for me.

You were always there for me.

I started to get very pouplar and busy.

We hardly had time for each other. But its okay. She always made it up to me.

When I was feeling stressed, she consoled me.
 
Do you have a love? Spare me your love.

Do you have a love? Please give it to me.

I need your love.

You and me were able to meet in Akihabara, the danso cafe, this earth.

I want to keep taking care of you forever.

I love you.

I love you too.

Thank you for everything, I was able to spend my life with you.

END

Cheesyyyyy and short but mehhhh mehhhhhh I managed to make it non-crack

[Playgirlz]

Please more Mayuki, it a little bit short I want more <3

It'd be great if you write a long fic