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Author Topic: [Atsuko_love's fanfic] The Ultimatum - CHAPTER 27 (multipairing) 31/03/2016  (Read 67102 times)

Offline sakura_drop_

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Re: [Atsuko_love's fanfic] The Ultimatum (CHAPTER 1)(10/2/2015 UPDATE!)
« Reply #20 on: February 09, 2015, 05:37:27 PM »
and you just got yourself a silent reader, but I might pop in here once in a while... well, so far it's great... want more? it's really great... can I say more? Um, no... I ran out of words LOL see you on your next update and on Facebook

 :mon bye:
"人間みんな変態だから" - 古川愛李, SKE48 新高柳チームKII 「シアターの女神」千秋楽公演, 2014.04.18 <"Because all people are perverts." - Furukawa Airi, SKE48 New Takayanagi Team KII [Theater no Megami] Last Stage, 2014.04.18>

My Blog: J-Pop and K-Pop Abode   The list of my fics in JPH!P: My fics   My fics can be found here also: AKBlasphemy48   Let's have fun here: Acchan48   My home and family: United Nations Society of Adorkable Writers



My KamiOshis: Yuuko-sama, Rena-sama  Oshimen: Yuihime Other favorites: Mirukii, Juri-tan, Ripopo

Offline qweakb

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Re: [Atsuko_love's fanfic] The Ultimatum (CHAPTER 1)(10/2/2015 UPDATE!)
« Reply #21 on: February 09, 2015, 06:27:39 PM »
Omg!!!!!  This is so coooooooooooooooooooool!!!!!!!!!
Yuki is human, jurina; a spectre and mayu really is a cyber [emoji106] [emoji106]

I wonder why they are not going to kill takamina, wonder how troublesome she is to jurina and mayu XD
Please update soon [emoji144]
Become AKB fan after watching AKB0048.
Oshimen : Takamina and Mayu
Favorite pair : TakaAstu, Mayukirin, KumiYuria, Wmatsui, JirinaMayu etc.
(After reading the fanfic, my favorite pair just keep increasing :( )

Offline MaYukiIsLife

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Re: [Atsuko_love's fanfic] The Ultimatum (CHAPTER 1)(10/2/2015 UPDATE!)
« Reply #22 on: February 09, 2015, 06:28:16 PM »
 :peace: So Mayu's one of those flying drone things XD And Yuki's a sensei~

Sugoi....


Offline kahineechan

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Re: [Atsuko_love's fanfic] The Ultimatum (CHAPTER 1)(10/2/2015 UPDATE!)
« Reply #23 on: February 10, 2015, 04:51:13 AM »
Okay so um... WOW. Are Mayu and Jurina vigilantes now? Lol Cybers and Spectres working together..   :twothumbs

Quote
“Cool. Now since you’re done with this one, it’s time to move on to the next target.”

“Give me the name and the location.”

“Alright let me check the database for your next target....” Something suddenly caught her off guard. “WHAT!?”

“What’s wrong?” Jurina asked.

“Uhmm..... Maybe we should skip this one?” Mayu sounded.

“Why? You think I’m not capable of taking the target down??” Jurina got a little offended.

“Well, according to the database, your next target is Takahashi Minami.... So, yeah...”

“...” Jurina was speechless from the mention of the name.

“Yup.. Even you are speechless. That’s bad.. So, let’s skip! Off to the next target!”

“Better not be someone troublesome this time.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Why exactly is TKMN troublesome to target?  :? I'll just wait for that.

Yuki senseiiiiii!!! YESSSSSSS.

Also

Quote
Jurina then let out a wide grin, revealing her razor sharp teeth. As soon as she finished grinning, she released a sword from the Judgement and stabbed it right into the man’s face, killing him instantly without giving him a chance to let out his final scream. “I hate backstabbers the most.”

Where did she get the Judgement? O.o

Quote
the security get a glimpse of the killer wearing a Legion cloak


WHERE THE HELL IS JURINA GETTING THIS? lol

9th gen = RUN.TILL.YOU.DROP lol

Thank you for the update hubby!! You made le potato wife happy.

 :deco:
« Last Edit: February 10, 2015, 05:38:02 AM by kahineechan »
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Offline crosteks

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Re: [Atsuko_love's fanfic] The Ultimatum (CHAPTER 1)(10/2/2015 UPDATE!)
« Reply #24 on: February 10, 2015, 11:28:51 AM »
Mayuyu is A Cyber and Jurina is A Spectre??
She will be their next target but their skip so
that means Takamina here is so Strong and Power Full

Offline Kirozoro

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Re: [Atsuko_love's fanfic] The Ultimatum (CHAPTER 1)(10/2/2015 UPDATE!)
« Reply #25 on: February 10, 2015, 01:26:14 PM »
Jurina Mayu are working together!!

It seem like Takamina is quite a hard target

Yuki is so scary~~

update soon

Offline deguchi

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Re: [Atsuko_love's fanfic] The Ultimatum (CHAPTER 1)(10/2/2015 UPDATE!)
« Reply #26 on: February 10, 2015, 03:09:41 PM »
Mayu and Jurina team up cool!!!
Yuki's scary...
So the hooded girl's Mayu?
Takamina, I wonder...
just love to read alot of fiction story

Offline sakura_drop_

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Re: [Atsuko_love's fanfic] The Ultimatum (CHAPTER 1)(10/2/2015 UPDATE!)
« Reply #27 on: February 11, 2015, 01:57:31 PM »
So I read this once again, this time properly. My lecture was boring and so I felt like reading your work while sitting at the very back of auditorium. Now that I gave it a second read, I have something more than my previous comment on my mind. So expect this to be edited once I get back home. I need lappie for my commentary, just phone is not enough. Why, you ask? You'll see ;)


It's gonna be lengthy, so I'll do it point by point ><

  • First things first. Whenever I see the word action in fic's description, I always start a battle within myself if I should give the fic a try. It's not that I don't like action genre fics, they are entertaining and interesting. However, one must consider a very specific thing. Delivery. How the writer will deliver it? What's the plot, the flow, character's development? What about grammar and structure of the story? Does it have a hook for the person to crave for continuation? Is it too cliche or is it too absurd? These and some other minor (not worth to mention here) details are the criteria that helps me decide if the fic is worth my time. It leads to another point.
  • I am a very picky person. VERY PICKY. I consider myself to be different than others on a certain aspect. I used to think of myself as of reader AND a writer at the same time. Now I consider myself writer FIRST, THEN reader. It is because of this fact that I rarely read these days. Main reason for this change is I started looking at the fics not as a reader, who simply enjoys whatever the story that has been tossed at me, but I look for good grammar, not cliche plots and not overused basic pairings (with some exceptions, of course). Thus I don't read KojiYuu, unless, after giving it a try, I see it won't be as cliche as most KojiYuu stories. Yes, I am YuukoRena shipper, AtsuYuu too. However, I like a lot of pairings, and I am known for crack ships too, so I don't mind reading about any pairing really. Although I don't mind, there are still very little fics that I read nowadays, due to me judging them all as a writer and not a reader. So if I have given someone a comment, know it is really out of me being either in love with it or hooked by it to the point I am curious about the continuation.
  • What I like about Kevin is how much he improved since Supernatural Partners fanfic. I'll be honest. I read nearly whole first season, but towards the end I stopped. I got bored and disinterested and Kevin knows that. Like I said, to me action is something that is hard to read if it is not delivered well. SP was not a bad fic, it went for two seasons and is very popular, probably mostly because of the cliche pairings (and we know that some of you out there, maybe 50% or even more, read EVERY fanfic that contains your favorite pairing, despite the grammar, plot, delivery or anything else being not so good). I don't blame them, when it comes to YuukoRena - mind you, YuukoRena only - I will read anything. BUT. It doesn't mean I will like it. I will not say "thank you, that was good and great, keep this up" while thinking it was bad and at the same time thinking that as long as it is my favorite pairing, the writer should continue. I am blunt and honest, but I know people dislike critique, not thinking it might help improve. So I stay quiet about negative things and don't comment at all.

Now that I am done with ranting, lemme start talking about the fic, which HOOKED me. Like seriously. HOOKED is a light word, but well, I bold-ed it, so that should do it.

I really like the way you developed Yukirin's character so far. She seemed to be fragile as a kid, and it is logical, seeing how her family was murdered in front of her very own eyes. It must have been very devastating and traumatizing and we can tell she is still carrying that pain under the mask of 'being tough and third in ranks'. Of course, it is all thanks to Haachan-baba, who made a good decision. Any other might have simply walked away after putting the kid into some other family's hands. She saw the potential - maybe because most of the time deep pain and huge tragedies make us bring out most of our strength forward, as we humans tend to face disasters with anger and huge passion for revenge. She was right to suggest Yukirin this chance of changing her life, of making her memories turn into a reason to fight for instead a reason to sulk and wish to have died with family together. Great job, baba, really.

I find it interesting, that Paru is quite mischievous and joyful from most of other fics where she is portrayed salty and emotionless. I do believe she is like that in real life and i find her portrayal really believable in this one. Having friends that she cannot trust due to two big betrayals that happened in her past. It led to her parents being killed and of course it made her distrust anyone. At least she has friends and can smile. Also, being the best student of Yukirin's, I hope she is one of the main characters. I know a lot would wish for YuiParu in this one, but as far as this fic goes, I think the less pairings it has the more interesting it will be. Especially if she starts trusting Yui and then Yui gets killed which makes Paru turn into another Kashiwagi-Yuki-to-be Reaper. I did not suggest the plot, it's just the idea. Take it or leave it, lol. sure I'll get haters for this suggestion.

I knew it. Jurina and Mayu. I think everyone knew it from just reading about the species. I am sure that Mayu is not the highest rank and Jurina definitely is not the highest rank also. I hope for Rena to be Jurina's superior *cough*Gekikara*cough*, maybe even Omega herself. And as for Mayu's superior... I still have no clue. It could be anyone, even Acchan, though one could expect Acchan to be either Omega or the Core. Either will work I think. Or I am wrong and the leaders are someone that no one expects LOL. It's interesting to find out that the two species, who should be striving to outdo each other in order to win over the Earth, are allies and are working on the same goal. I wonder who is their boss? Maybe Mariko/Sado or maybe Yuuko? Jurina must be really good and amazing, seeing how great she was at her mission and that she got her hands on the Reaper's outfit and on the Judgement... Mhm, maybe she has inside help? That could be it. I wonder who is the traitor among Reapers, if I am right that is. Mayu is as I expected. A real rat, too lazy to do the job by her own and having someone else do it for her. "Don't underestimate the fertility of mice" "The whole world is in the palm of my hand." Gahd, it is so like her character from Majisuka. I think she is awesome and you should continue developing that side of hers. Then, at one point she should have an encounter with someone *cough*Yukirin*cough* where she will have no other choice but to show her skills and fight. It would be interesting to see her cursing at Yuki in her head, who made her stop lazying at the computer.

Another interesting thing to think about is Takamina. No matter how I think about it, I think she is human. BUT. In my opinion, she is either first or second in the Reaper ranks, or maybe even is some legendary fighter from Haachan-baba generation, who is in hiding because of some crime or...I am over-thinking this, but that is all I can do, with all this little information that we are given. I can only speculate and guess all the possible plot-lines and expect that at least at some point I am correct. Or maybe Takamina is a human but has connections/alliance with the Core or Omega. well, you know I am thinking of AtsuMina here, right? I said before that the less pairings, the more interesting, HOWEVER, I didn't say no pairings at all. AtsuMina could be a great axis here, where we might see some peace between the species at the end of the whole story due to the heads being in love and reaching an agreement. BUT we have a long way to go till we come to that point, so why am I even saying this? Well, it was just a thought anyways.

Really great delivery, Kevin. Grammar is good, pacing is thoughtful and just right. Development is nice and I want to know what's gonna happen next. Will my guesses prove right? Wrong? Who knows... I shall wait and see. Do your best on the next chapter  :twothumbs
« Last Edit: February 11, 2015, 05:08:58 PM by sakura_drop_ »
"人間みんな変態だから" - 古川愛李, SKE48 新高柳チームKII 「シアターの女神」千秋楽公演, 2014.04.18 <"Because all people are perverts." - Furukawa Airi, SKE48 New Takayanagi Team KII [Theater no Megami] Last Stage, 2014.04.18>

My Blog: J-Pop and K-Pop Abode   The list of my fics in JPH!P: My fics   My fics can be found here also: AKBlasphemy48   Let's have fun here: Acchan48   My home and family: United Nations Society of Adorkable Writers



My KamiOshis: Yuuko-sama, Rena-sama  Oshimen: Yuihime Other favorites: Mirukii, Juri-tan, Ripopo

Offline AshuraX

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Re: [Atsuko_love's fanfic] The Ultimatum (CHAPTER 1)(10/2/2015 UPDATE!)
« Reply #28 on: February 11, 2015, 05:06:24 PM »
^i have no words

Offline kahineechan

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Re: [Atsuko_love's fanfic] The Ultimatum (CHAPTER 1)(10/2/2015 UPDATE!)
« Reply #29 on: February 11, 2015, 05:15:54 PM »
After reading Mama's "short" comment I just had to log in and give her a thank you~
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Offline Kairi65

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Re: [Atsuko_love's fanfic] The Ultimatum (CHAPTER 1)(10/2/2015 UPDATE!)
« Reply #30 on: February 12, 2015, 12:53:50 PM »
this is great! :twothumbs

really liked how Paru is portrayed :yep:

but the best part of it is how Jurina and Mayu react when they know the next target was Takamina :lol:

can't wait to read the next one! :cathappy:

Offline kevinwkl

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Re: [Atsuko_love's fanfic] The Ultimatum (CHAPTER 2)(10/3/2015 UPDATE!)
« Reply #31 on: March 09, 2015, 05:47:27 PM »
Hey there~ I'm back with Chapter 2 of The Ultimatum~
Once again as a reminder, this fic has lots of 48G member's deaths.. So if your oshi so happened to die, please understand..  :P :P
ENJOY~!
  :banana: :pepper: :leek: :taco: :muffin: :strawberry: :lock:


__________________________________________________________________


CHAPTER 2 : Unfortunate Encounter


“Hnnnggg.....” Yuki mumbled a little.

“....?”

“Hnnnnnnngggggg......” Once again, words escaped Yuki’s mouth.

“Yuki?” A voice called out.

“No.... Don’t go....” Yuki started waving her arms as if she was trying to catch onto something. “Come back...... Don’t leave me alone.....”

“....”

“Gaah!!” Yuki shot up awake from her bed and started panting the heaviest of breaths.

“Hey, are you alright?” A head popped out from the top bunker and looked down at Yuki.

“...” Yuki was still breathing hard from her nightmare.

“Had a nightmare?”

Yuki nodded her head in agreement as she wiped the sweat off her face. “A horrible one.. I’ve been having nightmares lately and I’m not sure why.”

“Hmm... Guess you’re just stressed from your daily work.”

“Maybe..”

“You should probably head back to sleep. You have a class to teach tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry about it, Haruka baa-chan. My class is in the afternoon.” Yuki closed her eyes once again.

“Lucky you.. My class is early in the morning. And my name is Katayama Haruka. Not Haruka baa-chan. Would you stop calling me that? You’ve been doing that since the day I brought you into The Legion.” Haruka rolled her eyes in annoyance.

“You’re already over 40 years old. Just be lucky I don’t call you fossil instead, baa-chan. Now go back to sleep.” Yuki said.

“This kid.....” Haruka didn’t want to continue arguing with Yuki and just went to sleep.



An unknown place

The main door slided open and a girl walked right into a room, greeted by the back of another girl working on a machine or some sort on the table. “I’m back.”

A blue eyed girl was seen concentrating on an object on the table with a mechanical monoscope covering her left eye, ignoring Jurina completely. At that time, the tiny drone on Jurina’s shoulder flew towards the blue eyed girl and landed on her hand. Then only did the blue eyed girl realized that Jurina had finally returned. The mechanical monoscope transformed itself back into a blue eye. She smiled at the drone and patted it a little “Good boy..” before turning around, greeting Jurina. “Not bad for your previous mission, Jurina. I’m so proud of you..”

The way she said it made it seem like Jurina was nothing but her assistant or worker. “And I’ll be proud when I get the chance to pierce my blades all over your face, Mayu.”

A smirk then crawled onto Mayu’s face. “Calm down, tiger.. You’ll have to line up if you want to kill me.”

That was when something shiny on the table that caught Jurina’s eye. “What’s that thing on your table?”

“This?” Mayu smiled to herself while appreciating a mechanical looking orb.

“Looks like a bomb.”

“It’s not a bomb, Jurina. It’s an anti-Judgement device. I tried modifying it with some parts I found in the Judgement from the previous Reaper you took out. Once clicked, it will deactivate all Judgements within a radius of 10m for 15 seconds. Works just like an EMP, but only for Judgements.”

“Give me that.” Jurina hastily tried to take the orb from Mayu’s hand but to no avail as she moved her hand away swiftly.

“I don’t think so..” Mayu smirked.

“Why not!?”

“To be honest, I’d be happy to use you as a guinea pig for this but too bad it’s not complete yet. There are still some flaws, so I’m gonna have to fix it up a little. Why do you even need this in the first place? You’re a Beta Spectre. You alone can take on a few Reapers at the same time.”

“This would help me win against Takahashi Minami.” Jurina reasoned out.

Mayu then scoffed. “Takahashi Minami again. Your obsession with her needs to go. You have to learn your place, Jurina. Even with this anti-Judgement device, you know very well that you will still lose to her. She’s on a whole new level. You have to realize you’re nothing but dust to her.”

“Say that again, I dare you!!” Jurina got offended as she pinned Mayu on the wall with her hand choking Mayu’s neck. All six of her blades emerged from behind her back and aimed right at her.

Instead of being terrified, Mayu started laughing. “You’re not going to kill me, Jurina. I know that. You know that too.”

Mayu was right. For some reason, Jurina couldn’t being herself to kill Mayu and tossed her back onto the ground. That was the reason why Mayu loved poking fun of Jurina’s pride as a Beta Spectre.

After adjusting her neck a little, Mayu continued. “Everyone knows how powerful she is. Not many Spectres and Cybers came back alive after facing her. Do you remember what happened that time during that ‘incident’? She could even hold her ground against two Alpha Spectres at the same time. In addition to that, given you and her had some ‘bad history’, I’d convince you to stay away from her.”

Jurina then punched the wall out of frustration.

“Calm down. You can let off your steam on your next target.”

“Always me..” Jurina scoffed. “When are you going to do these yourself?”

“It’s too much work for me.” Mayu shrugged as she found her new target in the database. “Ah... Your next target is a member of The Legion.. Cute little lady.. You can have so much fun with this one. Since she’s just an amateur.”

“What’s her name?”

“There you go.” Mayu showed her computer to Jurina.

“Hmmph.. A student at the Legion Academy?” Jurine scoffed. “I’ll settle this at a later time. I’ve to return to my place for now.”

“Meeting up with your little girlfriend?” Mayu said in a tone.

“Go work on your anti-Judgement device.”



Legion HQ

*knock knock*

“You were looking for me?” Yuki greeted her leader with great respect. There she stood tall, facing the scenery outside through her window, the leader of The Legion.

“Take a seat, Yuki.” The tall leader instructed and Yuki sat down opposite her.

“Is there anything wrong?”

“Read this article and tell me what you think about it.” A newspaper cutting of today’s paper was tossed at Yuki as she sat down on her chair.

Yuki took it from the table and started reading the title of the article. “CEO of L Company slain by member of The Legion... Huh? That’s impossible!”

“They had pictures of it, Yuki. Apparently somebody accidentally took a picture of the person walking into the building while taking a vacation photo. Look at it. Does she ring any bell?” The tall leader explained.

“I did encounter a strange person with a Legion cloak yesterday.. Could this be her?” Yuki asked.

“Was she one of us?”

“No. I saw her face. I didn’t recognize her at all..” Yuki shook her head. “She’s definitely not a member of The Legion.”

“...” The leader became silent for a moment before making eye contact with Yuki again. “Did you see her eye color?”

“I’m sorry, Mariko. I didn’t manage to see her eye color. But I think she’s not a human. She runs a little too fast.. But her Judgement skills are quite fascinating.. It was as if she trained a really long time with it.” Yuki explained. Mariko suddenly had a deep thought to herself as she just kept silent. Yuki then asked, “Is everything ok, Mariko?”

“Weird.. Why him? Why the CEO?” The tall leader was thinking hard. “Could it be...” Soon after, Mariko looked up again at Yuki from her seat. “Investigate the Spectres, Yuki. There’s a high possibility that the one wearing the cloak is a Spectre.”

“Spectres?” Yuki wanted to question Mariko but she knew that Mariko was wiser than she is. Usually, anything predicted by Mariko is always right.

“This can’t be an inside job. It just doesn’t seem right.. There’s only one reason why I think it’s the Spectres, Yuki. ‘She’ might still be alive..”

“She? Mariko.... You don’t mean..” Suddenly Yuki remembered something, or rather, someone.

“Yes, Yuki. After that ‘incident’, she disappeared and was never found.. But somehow, I still think that she’s still alive and that the Spectres got hold of her and used her Legion cloak.”

“Do you really think she’s still alive?”

Mariko told. “I can’t be too sure about this. But I have a feeling that something bad is going to happen if you don’t get into this matter soon.”



Spectre Lair

Deep down under the dungeon of the Spectre lair, Jurina walked down the steps into the dark labyrinth.

“Still not listening to us???!!” A voice is heard shouting at the end of the labyrinth as some beating sounds were heard. As Jurina walked nearer and nearer to the end, the sight of a girl being chained onto the wall was seen. She had four chains pinning her onto the wall. Two on the wrists and the other two on the ankles. A Spectre was seen beating the girl that was pinned on the wall. Surprisingly, there was no reaction from her as the Spectre kept on punching her on the face. Surely enough there was a lot of blood from the beatings, but it was as if the punches didn’t faze her at all. The blood dripped from her face like sweat and yet no reaction. This angered the Spectre even more and released four of her blades. “DIE!!”

The Spectre was stopped by someone else before she could hit her again. “Stop, Itano.”

“J-Jurina?” Itano backed off a little.

“She’s had enough..” Jurina glared at Itano.

The sight of the angry Jurina scared Itano for a short moment. “Forgive me..” Looking at Jurina wearing the Legion cloak, Itano questioned. “Going about tainting Legion’s name again?”

“Yes. She’s barely moving.. Seems like she used up all her energy. How long has it been?” Jurina asked as she looked on at the girl on the wall.

“It’s been few days since she lost all her energy.”

“Alright, you can leave now.” Jurina instructed and Itano left the place with a scoff.

“Sorry, I got your cloak a little tainted with dirt.” That time, Jurina unhooked the Legion cloak from her body and hung it at a nail embedded on the wall next to the injured girl. “Did you miss me?”

“....” No replies from the girl as blood continued dripping from her face to the ground as her head was still facing down on the ground. She was definitely still alive as her body was still moving back and forth a little from breathing.

“Just look at yourself. Why must you resist us like this?” Jurina shook her head. “Why don’t you just come to your senses and surrender?”

“...”

“It’s been almost two years since you ended up in here. And yet you’re still resisting us.”

“...”

“I guess you’re not even listening to a single word I’m saying..”

“...”

Jurina knelt down on one knee and tilted the girl’s face up with a finger. Inches away form her face, Jurina smiled at her. “One day, you will realize who you truly are...... Matsui Rena..”



City Center

Four faces pressed against the shop window, looking at the displayed cakes with their eyes glittering in happiness.

“I want the chocolate cake.” Minarun pointed.

“Nah.. Take the Tiramisu one.” Shimada pointed at the cake beside.

“Hey, it’s my birthday so I’m the one choosing, alright!” Minarun placed her hands on her waist.

“Pfft... I don’t care. The Tiramisu one is more delicious.” Shimada pointed at the same cake again.

“Chocolate is more delicious.” Minarun raised her voice.

“Tiramisu is!”

“No! Chocolate is!”

“Why don’t we buy both cakes?” Takeuchi attempted to make the situation better by giving them the option to buy both cakes but to no avail.

“No! Choose one!” Both Minarun and Shimada voiced out loudly at Takeuchi at the same time.

Takeuchi got startled by both of them. “Umm.. I don’t wanna side any of you..”

“Paru, you’re the deciding point in this then. Which one would you prefer? Chocolate or Tiramisu?” Shimada asked.

“Chocolate.” Paru answered right away.

“What?” Minarun was shocked.

“Yes! Let’s get the chocolate cake then.” Shimada rushed into the store without a second thought.

“Hey! It’s my birthday cake! I should be the one choosing!” Minarun said.

“Oh, boy...” All Takeuchi could do was just smile back at both of them.

*HONK HONK*

A honk caught their attention as they noticed a car speeding above the speed limit and heading towards a girl crossing the street. It seemed like the brakes of the car was broken and the driver was trying to warn the girl in front.

“Hey! Watch out for the car!!!” Paru shouted. It was as if these words did not enter the girl’s ear at all as she continued walking.

“She’s gonna get run over by the car! It’s too late!” Takeuchi said.

The car knocked the girl. To their surprise, the whole car came to a complete stop and the whole front bumper got dented right away as it hit the girl. The girl was just standing there silently and glared into the driver’s face. She had blue eyes. “You scratched my armor..”

“A Cyber!?” The four of them said at the same time.

As the driver ran out of the car, the Cyber carried the car with ease and attempted to toss it right at him until Paru called out to her. “Hey! You! Why don’t you take on somebody your own size!!”

“Great.. You just have to call her in.” Shimada rolled her eyes.

The Cyber looked over at Paru with the car above her head and tossed it at them instead.

“Shit!” The four of them leaped away from the impact of the car landing on the ground near them.

“This is our first encounter of a real Cyber in the field, guys. Be on guard at all times.” Paru studied the Cyber from head to toe carefully and answered. “A Cyber with the strength to carry cars. A Terra.”

“Oh? You’re kinda smart for a human.” The Cyber smirked. “I’m Kanon by the way. I have to say you have guts, kid. Do you know what happens to those who mess with Cybers? They die.”

“Told you not to attract her.” Shimada cursed.

“Four kids... Tch- It’s not even satisfying.” Kanon mocked.

“We’re not kids. We’re members of the Legion.” Minarun voiced out with confidence.

“Ah.. You’re Reapers from The Legion...” Kanon smirked.

“Soon-to-be Reapers.” Takeuchi answered.

“I heard Reapers are really smart. But are Reapers smarter than Cybers? Or rather, are you smart enough to dodge my next attack?” Kanon smiled evilly at Paru causing her to be on guard.

Paru got into her fighting pose, getting ready for Kanon’s next attack. All of a sudden, instead of moving straight at Paru, Kanon turned back and leaped towards Shimada who currently had her guard down. Paru was shocked at the scene. “I got tricked! Shimada! Watch out!”

“Crap!” Shimada was too late to react to the situation as it was a completely unpredictable movement. A smart attack. She wasn’t fast enough to even dodge at that time.

“Watch out!” Minarun hopped towards Shimada at that instant and managed to tackle her away as Kanon swung her claw with her full strength at them.

“Thanks for the help, Minarun.” Shimada could hardly catch her breath at that time as it was a close call. “I thought I was dead for sure..”

“Are you okay?” Minarun asked.

“Yeah, I think so..” Shimada felt thankful for her friend’s help.

“G-Good....” Minarun suddenly started wobbling and tumbled onto the ground.

“What’s wrong, Min-” Shimada was silenced by a red liquid smearing both her hands and her shirt. Both her hands started to tremble. “W-What is this...?”

“No...” Takeuchi covered her mouth in shock as she looked at Minarun’s right part of her stomach ripped off completely.

“Minarun!” Paru shouted at her friend who tumbled onto the ground covered in blood. Both her hands clenched into a fist as she ran towards Kanon. “YOU MONSTER!!!”

“I....I......I don’t wanna die...” Tears welled up in Minarun’s eyes as she coughed out more blood from her mouth.

“Nononono... You’re not gonna die.” Shimada hugged Minarun tightly.

“Nobody is going to die, Minarun. We’re going to celebrate you birthday today”

“I’m cold... I-I’m very cold...” Minarun started shivering.

“I’ll warm you up, please don’t die!” Shimada cried loudly as she tightened her hug. Takeuchi went over and hugged her as well.

Minarun started panting heavily and quickly, freaking out as she tried to catch her breath again and again, “W-Where are you.. I can’t see.... I can’t see.....” fidgeting her arms around, trying to grab onto something.

Both Shimada and Takeuchi held her hand tightly. “We’re here, Minarun. We’re here.”

Panting heavily again and again, Minarun attempted to say few more words. “I...wan-wanna live.... I-It’s my birthday.. I wanna-” Before MInarun could finish, she breathe her last breath in Shimada’s arm. Her neck finally relaxed and lost its control, like a marionette having its strings cut. Minarun’s eyes were still open at that time, signifying that she had passed on to the next life unwillingly.

“No...” Shimada pressed herself onto Minarun’s body tightly as the blood continued smearing all over her.

Kanon rushed towards Paru and laughed at her. “Get ready to die, human!”

“A Terra is charging towards me.. What do I do.. Come on, Paru.. Think..” Paru talked to herself as she remembered teachings from Yuki’s classes.

“Most Terras have great amount of strength but they can’t move fast. All you have to do is dodge their attack and they’ll be vulnerable for at least 1 second. Remember, when you’re fighting a Terra, always aim for their head because that’s the only part of their body not covered in armor. But of course that doesn’t mean that they will get hurt if you attack them on the head. It’s still made of metal alloy. Just without the extra armor.”

“Got it.” Paru kept on reminding herself to dodge as Kanon flew towards her. “Dodge. Dodge. Dodge. Dodge.” When Kanon raised her fist and swung it at Paru, she swayed her body to the side and managed to land both her legs at the back of Kanon’s head as hard as possible. Sure thing her head was hard, but that did a little damage to Kanon as she tumbled front a little.

Feeling her pride crushed by a young girl, Kanon glared back at Paru and shouted. “I’m gonna kill you!!” Metal spikes suddenly emerged from her fist as she swung her fist around, hitting Paru’s arm directly, causing her to crash onto a wall.

“Gah-!” Paru could feel the bones in her arm cracking from the immense force of the punch. She groaned in pain as she held her broken arm. “If only I had a Judgement..”

“Die!!!!!” Kanon laughed hysterically as she leaped towards Paru with her spiked fist.

“Paru, no!!” Takeuchi screamed at the scene of Kanon attempting the final and fatal strike on Paru.

“No... I’m not gonna die here! Not today!!” Paru forcefully stood up and rushed towards Kanon as well. She raised her fist up, and screamed at the top of her lungs. “Not until I kill every single one of you!!!!”

All of a sudden, a bright red light was seen from behind Kanon moving at a fast speed towards them. Paru noticed it froom far and managed to jump away to evade it but it was too late for Kanon. It hit her directly as it slowly vaporizes her body into ashes within few seconds of contact with the huge red laser beam. Only screams of agony and pain were heard in the last few moments of her life. The direction of the laser beam came from the rooftop of a building. Paru grabbed onto her wounded shoulder and squinted her eyes at the source. All she could see was a black shadow of a girl on top of the building, holding a Judgement with smoke coming out from it. That indicates that the large laser beam was shot from that Judgement. The black shadow then hooked back the Judgement onto her utility belt and just stood there watching the scene. Paru looked back at her friends crying over Minarun’s death silently.

“Wake up, Minarun! Please don’t do this! Please...” Shimada held her friend’s lifeless body tightly and cried out loud. “We’ll go get the cake now, Minarun. I’ll let you choose the chocolate cake.. Wake up..”

“It was her birthday...” Takeuchi fell on her knees in disbelief as tears started spilling from her eyes.

Shimada who was the Minarun’s closest friend bawled. “You promised us that you’ll graduate from Legion at the same time with us, Minarun!”

Paru teared up as well looking at the scene of Minarun’s lifeless body. “She didn’t want to die.....”

“Nobody wants to die, kid.. This is just the world we’re living in right now. It’s the survival of the fittest.” The girl looked down at the scene as she stood at the top of the building, answering to Paru’s question to herself.

“Woof! Woof!” A barking noise was heard from beside her.

She looked beside her and patted softly at her pet Husky who seemed to be pouting sadly at her right now. She then knelt down and ruffled the smooth yet silky fur. “Yes, Romeo. The girl died.. That Cyber killed her. Like I always told you, Romeo.. All Cybers and Spectres are bad. And I will be the one who will kill them all..”

“Woof! Woof!” Romeo barked once again at the girl.

“She? She’s different than the others, Romeo. I won’t hurt her..”

Soon after, the Husky became cheerful once again as he wagged his tail excitedly. “Woof! Woof!”

The girl stood up. “I’m glad you understand.” The both of them had developed a bond so close that she actually could understand the dog’s bark and gestures. She squinted her eyes at her pet dog and placed her hand on his head. “Have you grown taller again?”

“Woof!” Romeo barked and wagged his tail.

“What do you mean I’m short? You’re already an adult now.. You should be tall. Time really flies, huh?” The girl then took out a locket and opened it to reveal a picture of a tall and short girl along with a Husky. “Soon... I will come for you....Atsuko.”

“Woof! Woof!” Romeo barked and wagged its tail.

She closed her locket once again and kept if back in her pocket. “Let’s go home, Romeo.”


Chapter 2 : Unfortunate Encounter
END

Offline deguchi

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Re: [Atsuko_love's fanfic] The Ultimatum (CHAPTER 2)(10/3/2015 UPDATE!)
« Reply #32 on: March 10, 2015, 01:14:04 PM »
TAKAMINA!! Wow...she's so cool  :heart:
Let's meet your wife soon  8)
I wonder, is Takamina going solo? Lead of a group or what?
Ah Rena in bad situation, juju let rena go or at least treat her wound
So you killed 2 members here, whats going to happen next?
just love to read alot of fiction story

Offline sakura_drop_

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Re: [Atsuko_love's fanfic] The Ultimatum (CHAPTER 2)(10/3/2015 UPDATE!)
« Reply #33 on: March 10, 2015, 02:09:07 PM »
This is my first comment... Gahd, so many thoughts running in my head... Once I sort them out, expect a second comment...

Good job  :bow:
"人間みんな変態だから" - 古川愛李, SKE48 新高柳チームKII 「シアターの女神」千秋楽公演, 2014.04.18 <"Because all people are perverts." - Furukawa Airi, SKE48 New Takayanagi Team KII [Theater no Megami] Last Stage, 2014.04.18>

My Blog: J-Pop and K-Pop Abode   The list of my fics in JPH!P: My fics   My fics can be found here also: AKBlasphemy48   Let's have fun here: Acchan48   My home and family: United Nations Society of Adorkable Writers



My KamiOshis: Yuuko-sama, Rena-sama  Oshimen: Yuihime Other favorites: Mirukii, Juri-tan, Ripopo

Offline sakura_drop_

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Re: [Atsuko_love's fanfic] The Ultimatum (CHAPTER 2)(10/3/2015 UPDATE!)
« Reply #34 on: March 10, 2015, 08:49:51 PM »
First, lemme just say that this is the second time I am typing this comment, because first time my lappie crashed cuz ....reasons ><

Anyways, I am not editing first comment and leaving like it is, because I want you to know how strongly I feel about this fanfic, Kevin. Honestly, the feels were so strong I just had to make another comment.

You know, you updated this when I was sleeping.. HOW COULD YOU?!!! And after I woke up, I didn't check JPH!P because I had lectures... So in one of those lectures I check my phone, cuz bored duh... And what do you know?! KEVIN HAS UPDATED. THE fanfic. I am like hyperventilating, spazzing, about to faint, but I put myself together and try to not look like an alien because my friend next to me gives me THE LOOK ("yo, idiot, what are you doing"). So I try to concentrate on the lecture, but you have no idea how much I was craving an update from you. Remember when you told me on Facebook that you are typing it? Oh god, I know I didn't show it as much but dang it, I couldn't handle the feels, I clutched the pillow and screamed silently, just cuz of you working on this.

So of course I was like 'screw this shit, I am gonna at least skim-read this' and I block everything around me, opening Tapatalk and going to skim-read this. And what do you know.... Once sentence in and my friend pokes me. Apparently, professor is asking me a question. And I am in my head all like 'what the hell, why do you have to disturb me in your lecture when I am trying to read this magnificent update, just leave me alone, for Judas sake' yes I said Judas in my head, but yeah...

And then I had another chance/opportunity to skim-read this fic, while on the bus home. I opened it, hands shaking (real fact, dude) and heart beating fast (another real fact, mate), eager to skim-read, because you know like duh, it's gonna be epic. Then again, I think to myself, one minute into skim-reading, that it is not okay. From just this glimpse I feel like just skim-reading is not gonna give it the credit, and even if I am gonna read it properly later, I will already know things from skim-reading it and it won't leave the impact I think it will if I just properly read it. So I sigh and put my phone away, determined to read it once at home.

So finalLY (you know what I am intending with this pun, Kevin XD ), I am back home and I rush to my laptop and read it. It is quite peaceful at home, so I have all the time I need and I indulge myself into this world of Cybers and Spectres, Reapers and Judgment weapons. NGH, the feels are so strong, like... you have no idea... I might even cry one day when I see the next update, this is how strongly I ADORE, LOVE, WORSHIP this fanfic. Honestly, this is your best work, like, not gonna lie, even if I loved MA, this is just.... Mhm, like when you have this delicious cake and it is missing some special ingredient, like a strawberry or cream. This is not only a cake with the strawberry AND cream, but also has sprinkles on and some ice cream to eat afterwards.

Now I can start talking about Chapter 2, right?

Okay, so I just wanna say this, mhm, how you call it, intricate thought that has appeared in my head. So Yukirin has these dreams that haunt her, right? Being chased by them she wakes up and I am sure she has no recollection of what happened in them. Now my question is... Is that Mayu in her dreams? I might be wrong and like I said, this is only an intricate thought that popped in my head but for some reason it doesn't leave, refuses to leave the drawer in my brain... I am glad baachan...I mean Haachan is there to take away Yuki's thoughts from nightmares that visit her. I guess it is a good thing they share a bunk bed, right?..

CAN I JUST SAY THIS ONE THING? JURINA IS THE COOLEST CHARACTER IN THIS STORY SO FAR, like... EMERGHERD~~~ Just...my feels are so strong... The way she carries herself, the way she just NGH I cannot even find words to express myself... I mean my inner JuriMayu shipper was all like "KIIIIIIISSSSSSSSS, KIIIIIIISSSSSSSSS" when Jurina pushed her against the wall. But yes, I know this is a fanfic with barely a few couples and it is probably a wMatsui in the end anyway (OH PLEASE, DUN CRUSH MY HOPES, but about this a little bit later) but you know, I couldn't help but squeal. Of course, Mayu is too awesome to lose her poise even in this situation and she just had to smirk. Yeah, I am really waiting for her to lose all that poise when she has no one to do work for her and has to fight on her own. I also am wondering who is this cute girl, next Jurina's target. Actually, at this point I was thinking that it's Paru and still am thinking now, since it hasn't been revealed yet. I was like: "dun tell me this is the death he was talking about" but boy was I glad it wasn't.

I am totally not surprised that it is Mariko-sama, the leader of the Legion. Like, it is so expected, she possesses the qualities to be one. I have a feeling she knows more, like, way more than she lets Yuki know and I am wondering, does Yuki want to know that much of an information, like, is it something that would crush Yuki or is it something that would make her more fired up to wipe all Spectres and Cybers out. Dunno, and also, curious about who is this girl they are talking about. It could be any girl, really, cuz we haven't met many of the characters yet, it is only Chapter 2 after all.

now lemme say this... ITANO, I SO EXPECTED THIS FROM YOU. This is like Shibuya, this personality of hers and boy am I glad she is scared of Jurina and not the other way around. but..... RENA-SAMA.... Here forgive me for a bit different commenting style, but I just have to do this...

 :luvluv1: :luvluv1: :luvluv1: :luvluv1: :luvluv1: :luvluv1: :luvluv1: :luvluv1: :luvluv1:

now that I let out all those feels about my current KamiOshi appearing in this fic (we all know Yuuko-sama is more than just a KamiOshi, she is on the GODDESS level), lemme say something to Tomochin. You do not hurt mah Rena-sama like this... You will feel the wrath of me...um....wait, you cannot feel it even one bit, can you... oTL but if Jurina wants to 'hurt' Rena (IYKWIM *wiggle eyebrows*) I am all for it. I am sure this will change anyways and hopefully it will develop into a nice wMatsui relationship, I mean, DUN CRUSH MY DREAMS PLEASE. And....GAHD, MY KAMIOSHI is awesome, she is so strong and just to think she was tortured for two years and still is resisting.... Now you know one of the reasons I love her so much.

Now lemme just say this, Kevin... I hate you...just a little bit, don't worry... And I don't hate you as a person, for god's sake, no, you're like one of the most awesome people I have ever known. BUT. As a writer you have lost a bit of my love cuz... HOW CAN YOU KILL A PERSON ON THEIR BIRTHDAY WITHOUT THEM EVEN HAVING A CHANCE TO EAT THE CAKE OR BLOW THE CANDLE, LIKE......

 :mon worklate: :mon worklate: :mon worklate: :mon worklate: :mon worklate: :mon worklate: :mon worklate:

Sakura is not impressed. Then again, this is so angsty I cannot help but love it at the same time. Paru shows how cool she is in this fic and all I can do is be all like "WAI YOU DO DIS TO MEEEEEE PARU, WAI YOU BREAK MAH KOKORO BY SLAYIN ME WITH YOUR AWESOMENESS?!!!!" Poor Minarun, to die like that but afterwards Kanon is slayed by the ever epic Bakamina so I guess all is well(?)

Which leads me to just leaving a quote here

Another interesting thing to think about is Takamina. No matter how I think about it, I think she is human. BUT. In my opinion, she is either first or second in the Reaper ranks, or maybe even is some legendary fighter from Haachan-baba generation, who is in hiding because of some crime or...I am over-thinking this, but that is all I can do, with all this little information that we are given. I can only speculate and guess all the possible plot-lines and expect that at least at some point I am correct. Or maybe Takamina is a human but has connections/alliance with the Core or Omega. well, you know I am thinking of AtsuMina here, right? I said before that the less pairings, the more interesting, HOWEVER, I didn't say no pairings at all. AtsuMina could be a great axis here, where we might see some peace between the species at the end of the whole story due to the heads being in love and reaching an agreement. BUT we have a long way to go till we come to that point, so why am I even saying this? Well, it was just a thought anyways.

like, am I not awesome with my prediction? I am not saying everything I guessed is correct but you have to give me credit for being right at some point. So you should be like: "50 points to Ravenclaw" (cuz I am forever a Ravenclaw, duh) no but really, Takamina is amazing and I just cannot help it but expect some nice AtsuMina moments later in the future. Seeing how she is seeked after by so many people, I cannot help but think she is quite brave to just show up in open like that and save Paru's cute round oshiri.... Sorry, sidetracked ><

Neways, that was an awesome read and now I shall patiently wait for the next chapter, right? :on comhere:
« Last Edit: March 10, 2015, 08:58:58 PM by sakura_drop_ »
"人間みんな変態だから" - 古川愛李, SKE48 新高柳チームKII 「シアターの女神」千秋楽公演, 2014.04.18 <"Because all people are perverts." - Furukawa Airi, SKE48 New Takayanagi Team KII [Theater no Megami] Last Stage, 2014.04.18>

My Blog: J-Pop and K-Pop Abode   The list of my fics in JPH!P: My fics   My fics can be found here also: AKBlasphemy48   Let's have fun here: Acchan48   My home and family: United Nations Society of Adorkable Writers



My KamiOshis: Yuuko-sama, Rena-sama  Oshimen: Yuihime Other favorites: Mirukii, Juri-tan, Ripopo

Offline kahineechan

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Re: [Atsuko_love's fanfic] The Ultimatum (CHAPTER 2)(10/3/2015 UPDATE!)
« Reply #35 on: March 11, 2015, 06:56:03 AM »
I am at a loss for word right now.....

(30 minutes later)...

Okay, so I have thought this through.... and I thought that I was ready for the deaths that were coming because this is just dksjfvblzsdgfvisdbgvkb, I don't know entirely what to say cause I'm still high from seeing Taka in action, (that is taka right?) oh and I really didn't expect Rena's capture "How the hell did you get capturedddddd."  So that's how they got the legion coat and Judgement.. I see.

Minarun died... I was pretty sure that 1 one of the 9th gens there are gonna die, cept for Paru.... well now that I think about it I think I'm half and half with paru dying....

Romeo the dog tho..

Thank you for the update Keviniee I am so happu <3
Ships that make me weabo


Offline kevinwkl

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Re: [Atsuko_love's fanfic] The Ultimatum (CHAPTER 2)(10/3/2015 UPDATE!)
« Reply #36 on: March 11, 2015, 02:45:12 PM »
@deguchi : Yup.. Takamina really is cool.. I made her cool..  XD XD XD Whether Takamina is going solo or not, it will be revealed next time.. So be patient.. And I can't tell you if Jurina will ever have the intention of releasing Rena from her shackles anytime soon XD Maybe yes, maybe no, maybe someone will come and save her? Stay tuned for more and thanks so much for reading and supporting my fanfic  :kneelbow: :kneelbow: :kneelbow: :kneelbow: :kneelbow:


@sakura_drop_ : Firstly, I wanna say ARE YOU SERIOUS? That's a long comment you wrote there and I really really REALLY appreciate it.. And you can stop spazzing and shaking over my update lolz Alright on to the reply... I can tell you one thing.. The nightmare in the beginning really meant something. What does it mean, I'm not gonna say.. You only have to know that it's not a random dream. So you got half right for that.

As for JuriMayu kissing, uh....no. Probably never will.. Seeing how both their characters are, yeah.. Never. But of course, you can fantasize all you want. lulz. Oh, and I never said anything about this being Wmatsui in the end either.. Those are your speculations. Both may not end up together. Who knows? They may even end up dead as well lul. And yes, for Mayu, that's the character I gave to her. The one that never loses her shit at anything, even when Jurina was choking her except for when it comes to desperation of something. Then you'll start to see that even the great nezumi can fall victim to anger.. She'll definitely lose her poise in the future. Stay tuned and you'll find out lulz. Next chapter you'll know who their target is..  :P

I thought it was already obvious in this chapter that the girl Yui and Mariko was talking about was Rena lulz.. The cloak does belong to Rena.  :) :)

As for Itano, you guessed it.. I grabbed her personality from Shibuya. The 'princessy' character who always loses her shit and start flipping tables when she's not satisfied with something.*psst*(usuallypeoplewiththischaracterwillnotlivelong)*cough cough* And yes, Itano is afraid of Jurina. She's a Beta Spectre for a reason. And I knew you would spazz over the appearance of Rena. Which is why I'm wondering how you would react if I were to introduce Yuko as a badass character here. (which I'm almost there) Yup, Rena had been resisting the Spectre's torture for almost two years and she's still not fazed by it. How she ended up there and also a little of her background will be revealed next time. For now, please enjoy the scenic view of a bloodied up Rena in shackles. For when she is released in the future, terrifying shits will sure to happen..(a hint)

Wow, didn't know I was capable of angst that well.. I was thinking to myself 'wouldn't it be sad if you died on your birthday?' and i was like 'wait, that's a great idea for someone to die in my next chapter!' and then I thought some more 'wouldn't it be sadder if she died before she could even blow the candles off her birthday cake?' and I was like 'YIZ LEZ DO DIZ.' and again I thought 'wouldn't it be even sadder if 1 of the cheerful characters i introduced in chapter 1 was the one to die?' and i was like 'YIZ YIZ YIZ KEVZ U A GENIUS' and poof... magic.

So, yea.. pretty much the first angst in like another thousand more that will appear in this fic lulz.. Pretty tragic and angsty, I agree. But I find death interesting in this fiction because death will always force someone to : 1) Be a great person 2) Defect
See where I'm going? It's interesting for the plot coz there are so many directions to go. So, expect more deaths in the future lulz

Paru was Yuki's best student. Eventhough she had no weapons with her yet, she still did pretty well in her first encounter with a real Cyber.

Not bad guessing Taka's character. 69 points for Ravenclaw *winks* Oh, and I never said that she was seeked after by a lot of people. But 1 thing I can say is that there are actually people seeking for her for example as I shown in chapter 2, Jurina wanted to seek for Taka to take her out once and for all because of an 'incident'. But of course those who were seeking for Taka weren't all bad. So, yeah.. Expect more of Taka's badassery in the near future. Oh, and of course Paru's badassery as well when she finally get her first Judgement on graduation day.(which will be coming soon)

That's all for your reply, saku. Thanks for reading and supporting my fic and leaving this super awesome and long comment. Really appreciate it. Thanks.  :) :)


@kahineechan : Kahi, the only thing you can get high from is by devouring a potato. Yes, that is Taka. I gave her the badass character in this fic. Rena's capture will be revealed in the future. But I can assure you that Rena was a really powerful Reaper and something went wrong when she was on her mission. So she ended up in the Spectre dungeon. Yes, that is where Jurina got her Legion cloak and Judgement.

Well, you did good guessing one of them was going to die because it did happen lulz. Make things interesting and angsty, no? And don't be surprised if Paru dies in the future too XD Anything might happen in my fic. I'm not really a fluffy guy in this fic. Heck, I'm starting to feel that death is far more interesting lol.

Yiz, Romeo the husky. If you guessed from the photo in the locket in the end, Romeo belonged to both Taka and Atsuko. What's Atsuko's origin? You'll find out soon. Stay tuned.

Thank you so much for reading and supporting this story, kahi. I'll try to update as soon as possible. Stay tuned~

Offline chiqinna

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Re: [Atsuko_love's fanfic] The Ultimatum (CHAPTER 2)(10/3/2015 UPDATE!)
« Reply #37 on: March 23, 2015, 05:37:57 AM »
SO, I already read it ONCE. okay. ONCE. after  all the mind map and all.   :bigdeal:
okay.  :glasses:
and Brada, I will read it again and again until I understand the whole shit. okay.  :on lol:
this is. just. worth. to. read~ LUL
I won't comment much since, I still figuring some things that I'm not sure of. hehe
but wew... Mayu is Cyber and Jurina is Spectre~ interesting~  :hehehe:

a lot of deaths is fine~ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA  :hiakhiakhiak:
KILL 'EM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  :scolding: :on cigar: :on voodoo: :on voodoo: :on voodoo: :on voodoo: :onionwhip: :onionwhip: :onionwhip: :onionwhip: :onionwhip: :onionwhip: :onionwhip: :onionwhip: :onionwhip: :onionwhip: :onionwhip: :onionwhip: :wigglypanda: :wigglypanda: :wigglypanda: :wigglypanda: :wigglypanda: :wigglypanda: :wigglypanda: :wigglypanda: :wigglypanda: :knee: :knee: :knee: :knee: :knee: :mikilaugh: :mikilaugh: :mikilaugh: :mon zoom: :mon zoom: :mon zoom: :mon zoom: :mon zoom: :mon mad: :mon mad: :mon mad: :mon mad: :mon mad: :mon kissy: :yuki: :sashiko:

Offline kevinwkl

  • Honmayan!~
  • ecchi
  • Member+
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  • Acchan 4eva~ <3
Re: [Atsuko_love's fanfic] The Ultimatum (CHAPTER 2)(10/3/2015 UPDATE!)
« Reply #38 on: April 07, 2015, 04:29:30 PM »
I'm back for yet another update on The Ultimatum~
Finally the midget has shown herself!!
ENJOY~!
:banana: :pepper: :leek: :taco: :muffin: :strawberry: :lock:


______________________________________________________________________________


Chapter 3 : 'Tiny' Trouble



Paru tiptoed slowly into the room and locked the door, and looked around while still in the dark. Anybody could tell that Paru is sneaking into the room like a thief. Well, that’s if they knew about it. Paru was always known for her talents in the quick and silent approach. She could literally sneak into everywhere without being noticed. As Paru was closing in to an object on the table, the lights switched on all of a suddden, surprising her.

“You switched off the CCTV without anyone noticing. Not bad.” A voice suddenly echoed across the department and that shocked Paru so much that she gasped and turned around towards the direction of the voice. “Somehow I knew you would be sneaking around in here after what happened.”

“Yuki sensei...”

“So, mind telling me what are you doing sneaking into the Judgement manufacturing department, Paru?”

“I’m gonna get myself a Judgement.” Paru answered straight away as if what she did now was the right thing to do.

“Get yourself a Judgement and then what? Get yourself killed?”

“I’m going to avenge for Minarun!”

Yuki snickered. “Avenge? No, you’re not. What you’re doing right now is not called avenging. It’s called stupidity. You’re my best student in the class, Paru. You should know better. You’re not eligible to hold a Judgement yet.”

“I am ready to hold one! I know all the mechanics of the Judgement!”

“No, you’re not! So what if you know the mechanics of it? You think this is a game?”

“I never thought this was a game!”

“It’s only fair that you get your Judgement when you graduate from the academy. Before that? Forget it. You’re not ready to hold one.”

“Fair? What about Minarun, huh!? What about her!? How is it fair for her to die on her birthday, huh!? Tell me!”

“Life is never fair, Paru. You, not realizing it and accepting it shows how naive you still are. Still thinking you can walk around killing Spectres and Cybers when you have no knowledge of how a Judgement works in the field. You’re just a wiz in class, not in the field. Who do you think you are? Minarun just had her burial this morning and now you want to join her!?”

Paru got a little hurt from Yuki looking down on her and glared right into her eyes. “Maybe you shouldn’t judge the book by it’s cover. I could even be better than you.”

Without another word, Yuki walked towards a machine and plucked out a newly made Judgement and tossed it at Paru. Paru caught it with her right arm and blinked her eyes at Yuki, confused. Yuki unclipped a Judgement from her utility belt and transformed it into a scythe. “If you’re better than me, I’ll give you as many Judgements as you want.” As soon as Paru activated a sword from her Judgement and got ready to attack, Yuki already had the scythe on Paru’s neck. “Otherwise, be patient and accept your comrade’s death as a determination for you to get stronger in the future and graduate from this academy.”

Paru knocked Yuki’s scythe off her neck with her sword and swung it at Yuki’s direction. And of course Yuki was fast enough to defend against her attack with her scythe. “That’s enough, Paru!”

“No!” Paru used more strength and deflected Yuki’s scythe away.

“I said that’s enough!” Yuki immediately choked Paru’s neck and slammed her onto the ground hard. So hard that the Judgement flew out of Paru’s grip upon contact to the ground. “You have to stop behaving like that, Paru.. Please.”

Tears flowed down from Paru’s eyes slowly as she bit the bottom of her lip. “I can’t stand losing anyone anymore.....you get me?”

The way Paru said it was completely heartbreaking. Paru was already trying her best not to cry. Yuki pulled Paru in for a hug and slowly stroked her hair. “I know, Paru.. I know. I’ve been through it before. I know how you feel.”

Paru returned the hug. “I just hope that I could be stronger than I am right now..”

Yuki gripped Paru’s arm. “You will be, Paru. But not now. Some things can’t be rushed..”

“....” Paru remained silent for a short moment. “I...want to take a walk outside..alone.”

“Sure. You can come back when you’re feeling better.” Yuki smiled.

Paru sighed to herself as she randomly walked all over the place, reminiscing those times she has with her friends. As Paru walked into the alley, her path was blocked by a lady. Paru did not bother to even look up to see her face. She moved to the side instead. When Paru moved to the side, the lady did too, blocking her way. Paru then moved to the other side, only to be blocked again. Not wanting to vent her frustration over a stranger, Paru decided to ask the lady nicely. “Excuse me..”

“She’s the one, Jurina.” A drone whispered into the lady’s ears.

“Shimazaki Haruka..” The words that came out of the lady’s mouth literally sent a little chill up Paru’s spine.

As soon as the lady mentioned her name, she knew something was wrong. Really wrong. Confused, Paru questioned her. “Who are you? And how do you know my name??”

“That’s because you’re my target.” All of a sudden, a Judgement was activated from under her cloak and was thrusted right at Paru’s face. Paru was able to tilt her whole body backwards fast enough to dodge against the sword thrust directed to her head. All thanks to herself for paying good attention in Yuki’s combat classes.

Paru then leaped back few feet and finally met eye to eye with Jurina. She was shocked to see such a strange sight. “Red eyes.. She’s a Spectre. That thing on her shoulder. That’s a drone that belongs to a Cyber... The sword.. It’s a Judgement. And the cape.. It’s from The Legion.. How can it be?”

“Ho... She’s pretty good, Jurina. Better than my expectations. That’s a lot of potential I see there..” Mayu showed some interest in Paru and voiced over from the drone.

“You told me she was an amateur.”

“Well, she has yet to graduate from the Legion Academy so I assumed her to be an amateur. You’re not finding difficulties facing her, are you Jurina?”

“Stop mocking me. This is nothing more than a mere insect.”

“Insect?” Paru was a little angered by Jurina’s word. “What’s a Spectre doing, working with a Cyber anyway?”

“Always the same question from everyone...”

“Why are you targeting me!?”

“It’s part of the ‘cleansing’ plan, kid. Unfortunately, you’re in the list..” Mayu smirked.

“Cleansing plan?” Paru frowned.

Mayu laughed. “Just kill her already, Jurina.”

“You don’t have to tell me. I already made an agreement. All targets must be destroyed.” Jurina shot a wicked smile at Paru.

“Why does this always have to happen before I get my Judgement!?”

Without a moment of hesitation, Jurina started slashing at Paru’s direction again and again while the latter dodged them carefully.

“How is it possible that a Spectre is able to fight with a Judgement so efficiently??” Paru thought to herself while dodging Jurina’s barrage of attacks. “I’m at a disadvantage here. I have to run.”

Paru somersault back a few feet and started running away in the other direction. Jurina then leaped from wall to wall and eventually caught up to Paru and slashed her sword another time, and this time at her neck. Luckily Paru was fast enough to tilt her head back as the sword passed through fer face, cutting only a small part of her hair. Any slower, she would have been decapitated. Little did Paru notice there was a pipe right at her foot and she tripped over as she was dodging the attack.

Paru fell to the ground, trying to get back up again as Jurina closed in with her sword, getting ready to kill her. As Jurina raised her sword, all of a sudden, a sudden surge of uneasiness rushed into Jurina’s blood. She was frozen. Footsteps were then heard louder and louder from behind Paru. Even Jurina herself couldn’t explain the feeling she’s going through right now. “Just....what was that?”

As the bright light shined into the alley, Jurina couldn’t make up the person walking towards them until she started opening her mouth.

“Well well well... What do we have here..” A voice was then heard from behind Paru. She looked behind and saw a short lady walking past her, facing Jurina this time.

Even Mayu was shocked with what she saw through her drone camera. “No way...”

“So what’s a Beta Spectre like you be bullying an innocent girl for...Jurina?” The short lady shot a smirk at Jurina.

“Takamina....” Jurina did not expect to see her worst enemy of all appearing right in front of her face.

“What’s the matter? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” Takamina tilted her head a little and somehow it managed to give Jurina a little chill. Just a tiny one.

“This is bad, Jurina. This is REALLY bad. This isn’t going as planned. You need to get out of there.” Mayu called out to Jurina from the drone, desperate for her to make the escape.

Noticing a tiny drone on Jurina’s shoulder, Takamina shifted her eyes back towards Jurina. “It seems like Mayu’s watching the show too.”

“Leave now, Jurina! I’m telling you, don’t you dare fight!” Mayu screamed over the drone. “You’ll die!”

Jurina looked on at Takamina as both her hands clenched into fists.

“It’s been almost two years, Jurina.” Looking at the Legion cloak Jurina was wearing and the Judgement she’s holding, Takamina asked. “Whose are those? Atsuko’s? Or Rena’s?” Takamina with a blank face.

“It’s mine now..”

“Where are they?” Takamina asked in an emotionless manner.

“You want to know? Come at me.” Jurina challenged. The uneasy atmosphere became thicker and thicker.

“You’re my priceless possession, you heard me!? I can’t let you commit suicide like this!” Mayu told Jurina over the drone.

Without cutting eye contact with Takamina, Jurina suddenly grabbed the drone with her palm and removed it off her shoulder.

“Don’t you dare!” Mayu warned.

With a single fist, Jurina crushed the drone completely, cutting her communication with Mayu completely.

“Damn it!” Mayu slammed the table with both her fist and it immediately got smashed into pieces. “Jurina how dare you!!” For the first time in forever, Mayu lost her cool. “No... Jurina is my one and only valuable collection.. I can’t let her die!” Mayu then bust out of the hideout and into the open air to rescue her priceless ‘possession’.

“You should have run by the time you saw me.” Takamina said.

“I do not run from humans.....” Sweeping the residue of the drone off her palm, Jurina continued. “Even though they’re comparable to monsters.”

“I like your confidence..” Takamina smirked.

Jurina clenched her fist once again. “I will end you once and for all.. You’re the only one standing in between Rena and I.. Once you’re gone, I will have no more worries.”

“The weak always barks the loudest..” Takamina mocked.

Jurina initiated the battle by leaping towards Takamina to attempt a slash out of anger. In an instant, Jurina’s sword was parried away by Takamina’s scythe. Takamina’s strike was so heavy as if Jurina’s sword was struck by a large hammer instead. The Judgement literally flew out of her palm and towards Takamina. She then caught the Judgement and clipped it to her utility belt. “I’ll be taking this back.”

Seeing that she couldn’t fight with the Judgement any longer, Jurina decided to use her real Spectre powers by arching her back releasing all six of her blades.

Paru was shocked by the number of blades behind Jurina’s back. “Six blades... That’s a Beta!”

“Finally..” Takamina smiled.

Jurina started by extending her blades and smashed them towards Takamina but to no avail as the shorter girl managed to deflect every single one of the attacks with her scythe. They deflected each other’s attacks successfully and somehow that made Takamina a little happy that Jurina forced her to fight properly. For a few minutes, they were exchanging blows to one another while dodging attacks at the same time.

Jurina then shot a fire projectile from one of her blades and it exploded at Takamina’s direction. She then panted quite heavily from being exhausted while fighting Takamina.

“That Spectre is a fire attribute..” Paru thought to herself.

To Jurina’s surprise, Takamina leaped out of the smoke, wielding her Judgement shield and knocked Jurina away. As Jurina was shaking her head from the slight concussion caused by the shield being in contact with her head, it was too late as Takamina appeared right in front of her face in the blink of an eye.

“Too slow.” Takamina managed to grab hold of Jurina’s face and slammed her hard onto the ground. Creating a mini crater around Jurina’s head. Immediately, Takamina pierced her sword straight through Jurina’s shoulder and into the ground, pinning her down and inflicting a lot of damage as it was part of her joint. Jurina groaned. “Gah!”

“A Beta Spectre is supposed to equal five elite Reapers.. And she managed to pin a Beta Spectre down within a few minutes.. She’s even more powerful than Yuki sensei.. She’s not only powerful... She’s a monster..” Paru expressed her shock at Takamina’s overwhelming fighting capability.

“You’ve improved. You barely stood up ten seconds against me two years ago.” Takamina then looked at her watch. “Seven minutes. Not bad, Jurina.”

“Amazing...” Paru was still in awe with Takamina’s power.

“Now I need you to answer me this.” Takamina asked while she placed her palm on the Judgement piercing through Jurina’s shoulder. “Where is Atsuko and Rena?”

“DEAD!” Jurina shouted right back despite her severe injury.

“Wrong answer!” Takamina pressed the Judgement deeper into Jurina’s shoulder, causing extra damage.

“Grrr!!” Jurina was literally in pain as she groaned loudly. Given Jurina’s high pride, she would rather die than to scream in pain. She would at most groan at the worst pain. “Just kill me!”

“Kill you?” Takamina activated another Judgement sword and immediately stabbed Jurina’s other shoulder without a moment of hesitation.

“Gah!” A small voice escaped from Jurina’s mouth while two blades pierced through each of her shoulders.

“That’ll be way too easy on you, Jurina.” Not an ounce of mercy could be detected from Takamina. Her face looked blank and really cold. “And I don’t like people taking the easy way out.”

“Yah!!!” Paru suddenly rushed in and raised a sharp rock at the downed Jurina. Before Paru could stab Jurina’s face, Takamina managed to grab hold of her wrist, preventing her from moving any further.

“What do you think you’re trying to do, kid?” Takamina asked Paru with her eyes widened in anger.

“I’m trying to end a Spectre’s life! Why are you stopping me!?” Paru shouted and increased her strength but to no avail as Takamina’s grip was way too strong for Paru to even budge.

“I need her alive.” Takamina used her strength to push Paru away. Paru literally got pushed few feet back from Takamina’s inhuman strength. “Stay there!”

Jurina suddenly double kicked Takamina away as the latter adverted her attention away from her. Takamina was caught off guard and got kicked away. Jurina immediately forced both the Judgements out of her shoulder with her bare hands even if it meant hurting herself even more. As Takamina was still getting herself up, Jurina managed to release herself and started running away from Takamina. Noticing this, Takamina unclipped yet another Judgement from her utility belt. At that time, Jurina raised one of her blade and shot a fireball on the ground, creating an explosion and a smokescreen, allowing her to run flee successfully. By the time the smoke settled, Jurina was already gone from the scene.

“Thanks to you, the Spectre has gone away!” Paru scolded Takamina.

Immediately, Takamina lifted Paru up on her collar with one hand and slammed her hard on the tree nearby, earning a groan of pain. “If I knew you would be a drag for me, I should have just left you to die earlier!”

“You have a Judgement, so I’ll be assuming that you’re a Reaper from The Legion! You should know better than to let Spectres or Cybers live!” Paru exclaimed while still pinned on the tree.

“Assume what you want. I haven’t asked you, kid. What’s your name? Who sent you!?” Takamina tightened her grip on Paru’s collar. “Did Mariko send you to interfere with me!?”

“W-Wha? Nobody sent me! I’m P-Paru. And how did you know I was from the Legion??” Paru got surprised.

“I was there when you and your friends took on a Cyber the other day. I was the one who killed it.” Takamina explained.

“It was you.... Why didn’t you kill it sooner!!” Paru started punching Takamina’s chest again and again. “If you did, Minarun wouldn’t have died!”

Upon hearing this, Takamina got angered and tossed Paru to the side. “Still on it with a dead person?”

“How can I be calm after my friend died!?”

“She died because she’s weak!” Takamina scolded and that enraged Paru like mad.

“Don’t you dare mock Minarun!” Paru got angered as tears were seen in her eyes and punched Takamina on the face.

Takamina barely felt the punch at all and replied with a punch of her own. The punch caused Paru to tumble back few steps before Takamina strike another punch on Paru’s stomach. Paru fell onto the ground groaning in pain and Takamina stood over her. Takamina then stepped on Paru’s face hard. “You’re only looking back at your friend’s death when you could look forward and be stronger. People who weep and complain over deaths are the weakest. Saying that you will kill every single Spectres and Cybers in the world and yet you still have time to cry like a baby for someone who is already dead. I despise people like you the most...”

Takamina slowly removed her feet off Paru’s face only to be greeted by Paru’s weeping face. “Do whatever you want with your miserable life.” She slowly turned around and started walking away from the scene.

Still weeping on the ground, Paru clenched her fist hard, cursing herself for being so weak. Today had not been a good day for Paru as she was mocked as being weak three times. First by Yuki, then by Jurina and lastly by Takamina. Paru had decided that from this day on, she will not be regarded as a weakling.

“Please.... Teach me..” Paru suddenly got on her knee and begged Takamina. “I want to be stronger.”

“Teach you? Are you mad? You’re just gonna trust someone whom you just met to teach you?”

“No I don’t.. I don’t trust you. I don’t trust my friends. I don’t trust even myself. But it’s because I do not trust my own capability as a fighter yet, I am forced to put my trust on someone else so that I can be stronger. Please..”

Without a moment of hesitation, Takamina rejected Paru’s offer. “No. I have no intention of teaching a weakling like you.”

“I am not a weakling..” Paru growled a little.

“Mere words will get you nowhere-” Takamina turned around and told Paru until she saw an unexpected scene.

“I....” Paru suddenly took a sharp rock and stabbed her own chest hard, shocking Takamina. “*cough cough* am not a weakling!!”

“....” Takamina was completely speechless.

“I am not as weak as you said I am..” Paru said softly as blood continued flowing from her wound.

“...”

“I..... I......” Paru’s vision started fading away slowly and eventually she collapsed from the too much blood loss.

“Ugh-...” Paru groaned as she placed her hand over her wounded chest that had been bandaged.

“So you’re finally awake..”

“W-Where am I?” Paru rubbed her eyes and looked around to find out that she was leaning against a tree with a husky sniffing her face. “A dog?”

“Romeo.” Takamina answered.

“That’s a nice name..” Paru smiled and patted Romeo lightly. He seemed to like Paru a lot as he tucked his head towards Paru, letting her stroke his fur. “I always wanted a dog..”

“For what?”

“As a loyal companion and friend.”

Takamina looked on at Paru silently, reminiscing those times when she was still her age and how much Takamina and Paru were alike. “Paru, was it?”

Paru nodded her head softly.

“Here.” Takamina tossed a Judgement at Paru’s direction as she caught it.

Paru looked confused with the sudden Judgement gift right when she woke up.

“This Judgement is yours from now on. Keep it with you at all times. I got it back from Jurina, so you could use it.”

“Jurina was the Spectre’s name? Wait... Why does she even have a Judgement?” Paru asked.

“It belongs to Rena.. My former team member.”

“What happened to her?”

“Long story. I could have gotten the info of her whereabouts from Jurina until you came in and messed up my whole plan.”

“S-Sorry..” Now the guilt started to hit her hard. Only now did she understand the reason why Jurina was kept alive by Takamina.

“That’s the least of your problems from today on. Your main concern now is to take good care of your Judgement.”

“B-But what if my sensei found out that I have a Judgement before my graduation day?”

“Who said that she has to find out? Your training starts after you’re fully healed.”

Paru smiled and saluted. “Yes master!”


Chapter 3 : 'Tiny' Trouble
END

Offline chiqinna

  • Member+
  • Posts: 344
Re: [Atsuko_love's fanfic] The Ultimatum (CHAPTER 3)(7/4/2015 UPDATE!)
« Reply #39 on: April 08, 2015, 06:52:37 AM »
Owkay~ huh...
actually I ended up reading noona's long comments LOL and I kind of agree with her~
aaand......
finalLY!!!!
THE KAKKOINESS!!!
THEB BADDASS!!!
THE MIDGET!!!!
THE LEGEND!!!!!!
HAS APPEARED!!!!
KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
 :banana: :pepper: :leek: :taco: :muffin: :strawberry: :lock: :bounce:
 :ptam-shy: :ptam-shy: :ptam-shy: :ptam-shy: :ptam-shy: :ptam-shy: :ptam-shy:
 :onioncheer: :onioncheer: :onioncheer: :onioncheer: :onioncheer: :onioncheer: :onioncheer:
 :on BDay: :on BDay: :on BDay: :on BDay: :on BDay: :on BDay: :on BDay: :on BDay:
 :farofflook: :farofflook: :farofflook: :farofflook: :farofflook: :farofflook: :farofflook: :farofflook: :farofflook:
 :luvluv1: :luvluv1: :luvluv1: :luvluv1: :luvluv1: :luvluv1: :luvluv1: :luvluv1:
 :shy2: :shy2: :shy2: :shy2: :shy2: :shy2: :shy2: :shy2: :shy2: :shy2: :shy2:
 :tama-apeshit: :tama-apeshit: :tama-apeshit: :tama-apeshit: :tama-apeshit: :tama-apeshit:
 :mon inluv: :mon inluv: :mon inluv: :mon inluv: :mon inluv: :mon inluv: :mon inluv: :mon inluv:
 :mon duh: :mon duh: :mon duh: :mon duh: :mon duh: :mon duh: :mon duh: :mon duh:
 :pig red: :pig red: :pig red: :pig red: :pig red: :pig red: :pig red: :pig red: :pig red:
HAH...


OKAY~ so...hmmm..
So I know where's Rena... but Atsuko?
Takamina also mention Atsuko..is she also where Rena's at?
(or did I miss anything again? lol)
So baddass Takamina.. pft... stepping on Paru's face~
okay I got it~ YOU ARE KAKKOI AND FIERCE AND MIDGET!  :mon inluv:
AND I LOVE YOUR CHARACTER~
(and I hope the author didn't kill you early hahahaha  :mon whimper:)
so now, Paru is going on training with Takamina? sweet~
should I stop now? do I have anything else to say?  :mon speechless:
I think no... unless someone comments and I think the same I'll probably quote it lelz
kay~
chiaoz~  :mon wtfmm:

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