DARKNESS (WMatsui fanfic) - COMPLETED

[screechingsoul]

☆Scroll down for the Last Part...☆

Hellow...  it's been ages since I've posted my fics here, and I'm back with a new fic. 



Darkness

1st. Part

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always been afraid of the dark. Because I imagined that, there were hideous looking creatures that would suddenly popped out in the darkness and abduct me or the worst— eat my flesh. Stupid you say, but that was how I visualized it.

“I wouldn’t go in there… I wouldn’t go in there…” I’d say to myself over and over again.

I really wouldn’t dare go into dark places nor stay alone inside my own bedroom when there were no lights turned on.
Yet, I never thought that, I’d experienced being drawn into the darkness in an immeasurable length of time, without any knowledge of how to escape it.

Today, everything around me was pitch black. The feeling that you already stretched your eyes open, yet still you felt that they were tightly closed because you couldn’t see anything aside from total blackness. Rather than feeling scared, I was feeling very tired, and it was all darkness creeping over the edge of my mind.

All I heard was jumble of noises, someone’s screaming and an increasing sound coming from a siren. I guess.
I felt too much pain in my head and in my back and I thought it’d be best to stay put. Movements increases the pain I felt in my body.

“Jurina! Jurina! Can you hear me?” I heard a familiar voice calling me.

I tried to retort back, but it seems I couldn’t find my voice. After that, I felt completely exhausted, and then my own body started to become numb. The noises and buzzing I heard in my ear or in my head, slowly starts to fade and within a couple of seconds everything became quiet.

————

Two souls were lying together on the grass and staring up at the stars, under the perfectly clear night sky. They were best friends since forever, as what Matsui Jurina would address to “the length of their friendship”. She and Rena lived next door to each other and spent just about every minute of every day together. Sometimes, they would lie together under the stars and even slept together. Jurina didn’t know for how many times. In all that time, she’d never looked at her as anything but a friend; except maybe as a sister.

There was a night of shooting stars forecast and the both of them wanted to witness it tonight. The atmosphere was freezing but they were toughing it, so as not to lose face with each other. Which made it all the colder, and the grass crunched beneath them as they positioned themselves under the protection of a grove of trees.

The first star streaked across the sky and they were both completely blown away. They’d never seen anything like it; anything so beautiful and suddenly the cold was worth it. Both girls were breathless.

“Quick, Rena-chan make a wish!” Jurina cried excitedly.

“I already have.” Rena whispered.

At some point Jurina realized Rena reached out her hand and laced their fingers together. Yet she hadn’t even noticed, as she was too intent with what was going on in the sky over their heads. It went on for ages and by the time it ended, Jurina’s teeth were chattering.
She was surprised to find that Rena was still holding her hand but it didn’t bother her anyway. Nothing Rena did bothered her; they were that close.

Jurina turned her face to look at her friend. Rena’s eyes were brilliant, reflecting the dark sky and glittering stars. Jurina didn’t know what it was; maybe the way Rena was looking at her, but it suddenly struck her that they were beautiful. The thought surprised and puzzled her, but it still didn’t bother her. She remembered wondering why it had never occurred to her before to notice her BFF was beautiful.

For her, Rena was perfect. To be honest, Rena had been changing a lot and Jurina hadn’t noticed it; not until that night.
When they looked at each other, under the stars with their breaths misting between them, the changes Rena had been undergoing hit Jurina like a ton of bricks and she was puzzled about why— why she hadn’t noticed and why, at last, it bothered her.

Rena moved closer and raised herself on one elbow so she could look down at Jurina. She had the strangest look on her face that Jurina noticed for the first time.

“What?” Jurina asked somewhat sharply, because she was disturbed by the way her mind had been working.

“I….”

“What’s wrong? You look….”

“I’ve been….” Rena shivered deeply and took a deep breath. “There’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about for a long time; a really long time.”

“But you can talk to me about anything; any time. At least I thought you could.”

Jurina frowned because there was something Rena couldn’t talk to her about. Did it mean that they were drifting apart? The fear of losing Rena’s friendship was far greater than whatever it might be. That was so bad Rena hadn’t felt able to discuss it with her.

“Don’t, Jurina. Don’t look at me like that, as if I’ve somehow let you down.”

“But I wasn’t. I know you’d never….”

“Jurina, please… Just— just let me speak. If I don’t do it now I never will and it’s been so hard. It hurts so much.” Rena really sounded as if she was in pain and Jurina was alarmed.

“…Rena-chan what’s wrong? What happened?” Jurina was horrified by Rena’s choked voice and the tears in her eyes. Jurina was scared that something really bad had happened.

“Nothing’s happened; at least, nothing new. It’s just… just I can’t keep it inside anymore. It’s been there for such a long time; years. I’ve wanted to tell you so many times, but I’ve been too scared.”

Now Rena started, the words tumbled over themselves and came pouring out. Jurina didn’t think she could have stopped if she had wanted to.
“I didn’t want you to hate me. You’re always so happy and sweet and bubbly and I didn’t want to see that change. I didn’t want you to be cold with me.”

Jurina opened her mouth to speak, to tell Rena that she was being stupid, that she will never be cold to her, but Rena pressed on before Jurina could say a word.

“You’ve no idea what it’s been like, being so close to you for so long. So close but… but not… not….” She took a deep breath, steadying herself.

By now, Jurina was so stunned and shocked. She didn’t know what to think let alone say.

“Then tonight you were lying there; so close. You were excited and bubbly like you always are and the starlight was reflecting in your eyes and they were so beautiful. They are beautiful— and when I held your hand and you didn’t….”

Suddenly, Rena seemed to collapse in on herself. “You’ve absolutely no idea what I’m talking about do you? I thought that when… when you didn’t— but you don’t know do you? Even now, after everything I’ve said, you’ve no idea what I’m talking about.”

Rena was right. Jurina shook her head completely mystified. All Jurina knew was that her best friend was in pain and it seemed to have something to do with her; and that was killing her.

“I’m sorry, Rena-chan. I don’t know what I’ve done, but whatever it is I’m sorry. I’m really sorry if I’ve hurt you.”

“Sorry? You done? Jurina you’re so… ugh. You haven’t done anything; nothing. You’ve always been so… always so…. You’re perfect. You’re bright and funny and sweet but sometimes you’re so… oblivious.”

“Oblivious? To what?” Jurina’s forehead creases.

Rena was glaring at her, and Jurina was starting to feel very uncomfortable. Rena was like a coiled spring and Jurina was scared what would happen when it sprung. Rena sighed and shook her head. Their eyes were locked with each other.

“Do you know what I wished for— on the star?”

Jurina was confused by the sudden changes of direction in their weird conversation and mesmerized by the strange tone in Rena’s voice that was so different to anything she’d ever heard before. Rena moved even closer and Jurina had to resist the temptation to move away.

“You.” Rena whispered and that just made Jurina even more confused.

“Me? But— I don’t understand.”

“God, you can be so stupid sometimes,” Rena spat out in frustration.

“I love you, Jurina. I have always loved you and I will always love you.” Rena was looking at her as if she was expecting the girl to say or do something.

“I know you do.” Jurina said, somewhat uncertainly, half expecting it to be the wrong thing to say.

“No! You don’t know. You don’t know anything. Sometimes you’re just not real.”

The next thing Jurina knew, Rena leaned closer to her then boldly kissed her. To say she was shocked was a huge understatement. Jurina was too shocked to react at all and, after a moment Rena pulled away with a strange cry.

“I’m sorry, Jurina. I’m really sorry. I never meant it to be like this. I’ve tried. God knows I’ve tried but you’re just so beautiful and… I….” She looked devastated, destroyed, but Jurina barely noticed.

“I am?”

“Oh God yes. And you’ve never been more beautiful than you are right now.” Rena looked hopeful then, like a puppy half expecting to be kicked but so, so hoping for a pat.

“I uhm… I… I don’t know what to… to say.”

“I don’t care. I don’t care what you say or what you do. Only… only please don’t hate me. Please don’t hurt me; don’t leave me.”

“What are you talking about You’re my best friend and you always will be. I don’t understand why you would think I’d hate you.” And she didn’t. Jurina really, really didn’t.

Running out of words to say, Jurina shut her mouth and lay flat on her back and stared up at the stars. How did she feel? What was she thinking? She had no idea. So many things were flying through her mind and there was no room for feelings. Jurina felt dizzy.

“What are you thinking?” Rena’s voice was anxious and Jurina couldn’t look at her; she just couldn’t.

“I… don’t know. Shocked, I suppose. I never thought…”

“You don’t hate me do you?”

Jurina turned to look at her and laughed. “Of course I don’t hate you. Why the hell would I hate you? You’re my best friend.”

“Still?” Rena was anxious, even though Jurina thought she’d made herself perfectly clear.

It didn’t occur to Jurina then, not until much later. The risk Rena had been taken in telling her like that. It seemed so natural; so unimportant to ‘them’ that it came as a huge shock when Jurina later found out that it didn’t always happen like this, that sometimes even good friends walk away.

Neither of the girls slept that night and Jurina’s parents thought she’d come back because it was so cold and Jurina wasn’t about to disillusion them; not right then.

Jurina lay in bed, warm and tired but unable to sleep. Her mind roved back and forth over the previous years, and she began to slot all sorts of pieces into place. Jurina laughed out loud. Jurina cried almost hysterically. She was scared, uncertain, confused and even angry, but not with Rena. She tossed and turned. She got feverish, almost delirious, but by morning Jurina knew.

The conclusion of her hours of torment came with the dawn and finally brought her peace and rest.
Jurina woke up late and stood in the window, stretching and yawning, soaking up the cold winter sun. Something caught her eye and she noticed Rena in their garden, sitting with her back against the tree, hugging her drawn up knees. She looked so— sad.

Jurina dressed quickly and grabbed a piece of toast before saying she was going out with Rena and ran from the house. She didn’t bother knocking, and went straight inside. Letting herself in at the side gate, and ran around
the back.

Rena looked up when Jurina came striding across the grass. She didn’t know what Rena saw on her face because she looked scared, really scared. But Jurina was on a mission and she wasn’t going to let something like fear get in the way.

When Jurina got to her, she pulled Rena by the arm and yanked her to her feet without a word and towed her by the hand out of their back gate, along the bank of the river, through the hedge and into their special hiding place. They’d been going there ever since they were children. It was their place; the place where no one else came, where no one bothered them or threatened them— where they were safe. But Rena wasn’t feeling safe; Jurina could feel it and she didn’t care.

As soon as they reached there, still without saying a word, Jurina backed Rena against a tree quite roughly; in fact Jurina hadn’t been gentle since the first moment; and demanded.

“Did you mean it?”

“What” Rena looked scared to death.

“Last night; those things you said. Did you mean them?”

“Yes,” Rena whispered, looking away.

“You love me? I mean really love me… like… in love with me?”

“Yes,” She whispered again and Jurina could almost taste the fear in her voice.

Jurina pulled Rena’s already tear-streaked face up and made her friend looked at her.

“And you really think I’m beautiful?” Jurina asked quietly.

At the change in the tone of her friend’s voice, Rena’s eyes widened and her voice was filled with a kind of desperate hope.

“Yes.”

“I love you too, cry baby Rena.” Jurina laughed, and then lovingly kissed her.

Since that day the best friends became officially lovers, nothing much has changed. They still did everything together, went to school hand in hand and eat together like they always did. Except that they were more intimate than before.

———

“Jurina. Can you hear me?”

The voice was calling my name again. Well of course I could hear it. She was right there and I wasn’t deaf. It was just… just… well my hearing was okay but it didn’t seem as if my eyes and voice were doing so well. I tried to focus on her but my eyes seemed to keep sliding away and when I tried to tell her that I could hear her and could she please help me up because it was getting uncomfortable on where I was lying right now, all that came out was a kind of strangled croak.

“It’s alright. Just lie still for a moment. Help is on its way. We’ve called your mom.”

I got a bit scared then; not because of what had happened or the fact that there was definitely pain in my— well all over really— by now. No. It was those dreaded words. ‘We’ve called your mom.’ That was never good. That meant that in one way or another I was in deep trouble and I couldn’t for the life of me work out why. What had I done?
Someone was holding my hand and I was pretty sure who it was.

“R-Rena..?” My voice worked that time but it was very soft and I didn’t think she would have heard, but I hoped she had.

“I’m here. I’m here, Jurina. Oh God. Oh God why did this happen? Oh God, I love you, Jurina. Please, please be okay.

I wondered vaguely whether maybe she shouldn’t be saying those things; here where people would hear, but hey— if she was cool with it then so was I.
I meant to say. ‘I love you too. Don’t worry I’m fine, it’ll be okay.’
But it came out as “Love… love you… okay.”
And I was surprised that it seemed to make Rena even more upset. I squeezed her hand and tried to smile but by then the darkness, which was still no more than an irritation, was coming in fast and the world contracted to Rena’s face and then winked out.

I roused briefly to hear my mother’s voice shouting at someone; clearly very upset and I obviously assumed that she must have been upset with me.
I managed to mumble, “Sorry.” But then the anger turned soft and she leaned closer, trying to smile. I tried to smile back but I was really just raising my head above the surface and almost immediately sank again.
After that there were brief impressions of voices and movement, which was really waking up the pain, before I let myself sink completely into the darkness, which at that time seemed like a friend.
———
The next time I was really aware of anything, I was lying on something hard; curled on my side with cool cotton under my cheek and the smell of plastic. I felt someone was gently stroking my hair. At first, it felt really nice and I just wanted to lie there and float in the sensation of the stroking.
The darkness was still lurking at the corners of my mind, but I really didn’t care. It was soft and I wasn’t afraid of it at all.
Someone was calling me. It seemed like they were a long way away, distorted somehow.

“Jurina. Jurina sweetheart, can you hear me?” I didn’t recognize the voice so I ignored it.

“Come on sweetheart, open your eyes for me.” I sighed and started to slide back towards sleep.
Someone took my hand and a shadow fell across my face.

“Jurina. Please wake up. I’m scared. Please…” That voice, I did recognize although there was a strange note in it that bothered me. Rena was upset. Why was she upset?

With considerable effort I managed to open my eyes to be presented with a world of blurred shapes and colors.

“Jurina; oh God Jurina; I thought you were dead. Are you alright?”

“Easy now.” The first voice said again, gently. “Let’s give her a chance to come round a bit.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just…” It was Rena, her voiced gargled as she was speaking.

“I know honey, I know.”

The hand started stroking my head again very gently.

“There we go,” the voice said softly. “Take it easy now. Just try to take some nice deep breaths until things settle down a bit.”

I tried to do as she said but it was not a pleasant experience. For one thing it sent a stab of pain shooting through my chest and side which was not unbearable but still made me gasp. For another I realized that there was something covering my face and I panicked.
I tried to raise my hand to free myself, but it wasn’t happening. It took enormous effort to raise it a couple of inches. Instead I decided to turn my head to dislodge whatever it was that had made me feel so claustrophobic. I had a bit of a problem with that generally, and in my confused state it was really notching up the panic by the moment.

“Sssh… It’s alright sweetheart. I know it hurts but it’ll be alright. Lie still now.”

“No.”

I whispered and shook my head, my panic making me pant which hurt my chest, blurred my eyes and made me feel even more claustrophobic. I heard the voices speak again, but I didn’t know what they were saying because I was too focused on the panic and the pain. And then suddenly I was free and Rena’s face was right in front of me.

“Steady, Jurina. Chill. Listen to me. Listen.”

Okay, I thought. Seems okay now. No more suffocation, No more… well okay, the pain was still there; in fact the pain was really bad, but I could handle it. I could handle anything if Rena was there. I felt a cool hand on my face, the thumb stroking my cheek. I closed my eyes and smiled, turning my head slightly into the touch.

“Jurina?”

She sounded scared; so scared. I opened my eyes again; I wanted to witness her face right now. It must have been something bad. Was it hurting her? Is that what was hurting me?

“Rena?”

When I looked at her she was smiling and that made me really confused. Was she scared or not? She looked scared still, but she was smiling.

“It’s okay, Jurina. You scared me; that’s all.”

I scared her? What did I do?

“Jurina, you need to listen to me. You’re in hospital now, you’ll be alright.

Well that explains a lot. So maybe I wasn’t in trouble after all.

“You’re going to be alright, but you have some broken ribs.”

And that explains the pain.

“You can’t breathe properly right now because of your ribs. You can’t breathe in all the way because it hurts too much, so you have to have oxygen to help you. I know you don’t like it but you have to wear the mask, okay.”

Hmm. Pretty much everything was explained now, but there are still a few things I needed to get straight.

“No…. Talk….” That was weird.

Speaking whole sentences but having only a few words actually come out was seriously strange. My mouth, I realized was really dry; my tongue practically sticking to the roof and feeling about five times too big. I tried to moisten it but all that happened was that it made me gag.

“Is your mouth dry sweetheart?” The nurse; at least by then I was assuming it was a nurse; said.

“Hold on I’ll just go and get you a sip of water.”

“M… Mom…” I wasn’t going to let a dry mouth hold me back though.
It was practically just a twitch of the lips, but Rena understood. I never realized Rena had mind reading powers until then.

“Don’t worry, Jurina. She’s just worried because you were hurt. At first you were right out of it and we didn’t know… we didn’t know if you were going to be okay.”

“Oh.” I nodded and smiled, relieved.

“She’s fine now we know you’re going to be alright. She’s just gone for a walk. We’ve been here for ages. They’re waiting to take you for some X-rays and scans and then you’ll get a proper bed and you can rest.”

“Rest?”

What the hell else had I been doing? Yet I nodded anyway. Then I groaned because the pain in my side seemed to be spreading to my stomach.

“Are you in pain?” Rena asked. I felt her hand gently placed on my left shoulder.

That had to be in the running for the stupidest question in the universe. I nodded and she kissed me on the forehead.

“Better now?”

I shook my head and she looked alarmed for a moment, but then she saw my smile and lit up. She kissed me again, on the nose.

“How about now?”

I shook my head again and then she kissed me properly. By this time I was able to raise my hand to stroke her face and hair. She raised her head and looked at me. I was starting to feel a bit strange. My chest was burning and there was a strange, metallic taste in my mouth. I was getting quite hard to breathe, so I figured it was time to put the mask on.

“Hard… to… breathe.” I managed to gasp out and Rena smiled.

“Well, if you hadn’t been so stubborn about wearing the mask in the first place you wouldn’t be suffering for it now would you?”

At first the oxygen helped but it didn’t take away the weird pressure in my stomach and chest. At first it had only been on one side, but by then it was all over and felt like someone was squeezing me from the inside. I was definitely feeling weird and the pressure was getting very uncomfortable. The more difficult it got to breathe; the more my chest heaved and the more the pressure and pain grew.

“Here you are sweetheart.” The pleasant voice said close by. But then the tone suddenly changed.

“Jurina? Are you alright? Jurina?”

“What’s wrong?” Rena asked, sounding alarmed.

“How long has she been like this?”

“Like what?”

“Jurina, are you with us sweetheart?”

I can’t honestly say that I was at that point. I tried to say something, but there was a really weird feeling in my chest and throat and it made me cough. Boy did that hurt. Everything was starting to feel as if it was rushing backwards; the whole world disappearing into the distance.
I heard the nurse calling me but it was far away. I coughed again and was shocked when my mouth filled with water. Where did that come from? Had the nurse given me a drink after all? I didn’t like it; not at all because it made me start to choke and that made me panic.

“No. Jurina don’t. Please don’t. Don’t die. Please Jurina don’t die.”

Was I dying!? It didn’t make sense. Why? How? It’s strange, the thoughts that go through your mind when you’re dying; and I think, now, that at that point I was. It certainly wasn’t the case that my whole life flashed in front of my eyes.

Much later, I heard them talking and found out that what had happened was that one of my broken ribs had actually splintered. It hadn’t shown up on the preliminary X-rays because it had splintered inwards. When I did my panicking freak out I’d managed to drive the rib into my lungs which had proceeded to fill with blood. That’s what caused the pressure in my chest. It was blood I’d coughed up before I passed out.

Apparently, it was quite dramatic when the face mask filled with blood. And then I coughed again and it went all over Rena when she got too close as the nurse took the mask off. I was told she fainted, but she vehemently denies it.
I forgot to mention that the whole situation was made a whole lot worse by the fact that I’d been bleeding into my abdomen the whole time. Yep, I think that at that point I was pretty much dead and the only thing I could think of— was Rena. I think the thoughts must have carried on after I passed out because I had some pretty vivid dreams.

To Be Continued...

[Kairi65]

Please continue soon!!!

[River1721]

Jurina don't die, Rena needs you! 
Update soon please

[Kirozoro]

Jurina don't die!!!

[DC2805]

Hi author-san, is this going to be a long fic? Really hope Jurina won't die as it will be a total tragedy for Wmatsui.

By the way the font size is really small…can adjust for the next update? Thanks!

[screechingsoul]

A/N: Happy New Year To All...!!
Thank you for reading and commenting on the first part.
So here is the 2nd part... (the drama continues...)


Darkness

You and I will be walking hand in hand…
You and I will never going to end.
Just another moment in your eyes.
I’ll see you in another life.
In heaven where we never say goodbye.


2nd Part.

Jurina was in front of Rena's home knocking. Rena's mom who answered the door, immediately smiled when she saw Jurina was standing at their doorstep.

"Ohayou, Auntie!" Jurina's cheerful greeting, and bowed her head to give respect.

"Oh good morning Jurina-chan. Please, come in." Rena's mom widely opened the door and gestured the girl to come inside.

Leaving her shoes on a mat next to the door, Jurina followed Rena's mom towards the kitchen. Then Jurina stood there watching Mrs. Matsui preparing breakfast.

"You're early. I don't think Rena-chan is up yet. Why don't you go in her room and wake her up. Then let's all have breakfast." Rena's mom suggested while preparing the table.

"Hai..." Jurina responded beaming, and bowing her head once again.

In a flash, Jurina was upstairs in front of Rena's bedroom. Since then, she knew that Rena never locked the door of her room. So Jurina opened it and peaked around the door frame.

The sun was only just risen and a dim glow filtered through drawn blinds. Her eyes adjusting to the gloom, Rena's room was neat and tidy as always. Well, mostly neat and tidy. As usual. The desk on which Rena's laptop and accompanying hardware resided was strewn and festooned with all manner of plushies, action figures, stickers and key-chains featuring her favorite anime characters.

Jurina padded into the room a few steps. There Rena was, still sound asleep in bed. Jurina lips quirked up into a smile as she thinks of an idea on how to wake her girlfriend up.

Rena lay on her back, shoulder length black hair spilling around her head. The white colored bedclothes were tangled about her legs. She wore a cute printed PJ which the upper shirt had ridden up to her tummy.

Having slept over several times in the past, Jurina still couldn't help but smile by just looking at her cute sleeping posture.

Jurina stood for several long seconds, eyes wandering up and down Rena's sleeping body. Rolling her lower lip between her teeth nervously, unsure exactly of what was she's going to do.

Tucking her stray hair behind her ear, she moved around the foot of the bed and slowly, cat-like, slid onto the bed.
Jurina moved over Rena's legs on hands and knees. She could feel her own heart hammering and her breathing grew shaky.

Lowering her face, Jurina involuntarily inhaled the faint scent of Rena's skin as she moved up her body.

She immediately drew back when Rena stirred and murmured in her sleep. Pausing, Jurina was amazed she hadn't been awakened yet. After taking a deep, steadying breath, Jurina moved up so that she was almost eye to eye with her.

"Rena-chaaan. Time to wake uh-up." Jurina said loudly.

Rena flinched, and then blinked her big brown eyes.

"Wha... nnmmph... Jurina? W-Why are you here?"

"Waking you up obviously, sleepy head." Naughty cat-like smile formed on her lips.

"Um... Why are you in my bed..." Rena asked, her eyes searching for Jurina’s, and then they met. "...on top of me"

She finished in a hushed tone. Her expression became one of mild embarrassment. She began to blush. Jurina had just realized that Rena's questing hands were finding the covers and pulled it up to her mid-section.

Feeling her own cheeks heating up, Jurina still didn't know why or what was she doing.

"I saw you sleeping and... I... thought I might have to kiss you." Jurina moved ever so slightly closer as she spoke.

"Did you?" Rena whispered.

"Not yet."

"But... I just woke up." Rena told her in a plaintive whisper.

Jurina blinked at Rena's reply then bursted into laughter. When Jurina subsided, she noticed that confusion was visible on Rena's face.

"I'm basically laying on you now, telling you that I am going to kiss you; and your biggest concern is morning breath?" Jurina grinned.

Rena's lips formed into a shy smile, and then Jurina felt Rena's hand moving up to her left cheek and her thumb caressing on her lower lip.

As if her head was pulled down by an unknown gravity, Jurina’s lips automatically pressed on Rena.  After a muffled squeak of surprise, Rena returned the kiss. The two kissed ecstatically for several minutes, their lips forming an air-tight seal and forcing them to breathe each other’s exhalations; they were fairly giddy and light-headed in seconds.

Jurina moaned, vibrations of pleasure spreading throughout her body. While Rena's hand worked around the back of her head, she felt Rena’s fingers running on her hair. The urgency of the kiss soon left them breathless.

When both of them parted, practically panting, Jurina saw tears welling in Rena's eyes. Jurina reached out her hand and wiped desultorily at her eyes. Rena gave her a long, soulful look, then cocked her head to initiate a kiss. It was a painfully gentle, tender, and brief kiss on the lips.

Jurina's hands meanwhile were making themselves busy by sliding over Rena's shoulders and down to around her waist. Then her mouth left Rena's and shifted kisses from her face down to her jaw and into her supple neck.

They were so engrossed in their early morning make out and suddenly both were startled by a knock at the door followed by the voice of Rena's mother.

"Girls, get downstairs now. Your breakfast is getting cold." Then they heard footsteps walking away.

"Oh, shoot! I forgot to tell you that your mom's making breakfast." Jurina slowly climbed off of her.

Finally making it downstairs, the two found Mrs. Matsui in the dining room sitting in front of the table with well prepared breakfast.

"I was having a hard time waking Rena-chan up." Jurina explains upon approaching.

Rena caught her eye and the girl gave her a look. Which Jurina only flashed a playful wink with a knowing smile.

"I'm pretty sure she was up all night reading visual novels. Rena you should regulate that habit of yours, it's not good for your eyes and most especially to your health." Rena's mom scolded her.

"Yes mom." Rena responded then nudged Jurina with her elbow.

"Come on let's eat." Mrs. Matsui ended their conversation as the two settled and starts their breakfast that morning.

________

The dreams faded and there was only the darkness; but this time it was scary. It seemed to push in on me from every direction and there were flashes of red everywhere. No matter which way I turned there was only darkness and those red flashes which kept coming at me like lightning bolts.

There was nothing I could do to avoid them; nowhere to run, nothing to hide behind; no escape. They came rushing at me; pulsing, blinding, screaming silently into my mind. They hurt me too. In a place where I had nobody they hurt my soul. I was terrified; more scared than I have ever been.

I have no idea how long I cowered in the dark but gradually I became aware of something. There was a light ahead that hadn't been there before. At first it was dim, just a lightening of the darkness which was still not ready to let me go. But now I had a goal; something to work towards.

I can't say that it wasn't tempting to stay where I was. At least I knew I was safe there... kind of. I had no idea what I would find when I reached the light, but I didn't care. I could have stayed there huddled in the darkness. I was too scared to move. I could have waited until the darkness consumed me; and trust me it was trying.

Fortunately, I was too curious and too stubborn. I had to move; had to do something and no matter what I found at the source of the light it couldn't be worse than the darkness.

As I walked towards the light I began to hear sounds far away in the distance. They seemed to be coming from the same direction as the light. That was the first time it occurred to me that I might be dead. Walk into the light?

Seriously?!

I'd walk towards it until I knew what it was, but there was no freakin' way that I was going to go anywhere unless it was back to Rena-chan. No way was I giving up on that; most especially on her.

So I trudged warily through the lightening dark. The red flashes seemed to be fading out. I was leaving them behind in the darkness as it faded into the light. As I grew nearer to the source of the light the sounds got louder. Some of them resolved into voices; strange ones that I didn't recognize, speaking a language I didn't understand. And then; just when I thought I would find out what the light was all about, I fell.

'Oh sh--'

I thought as I plummeted downwards with a body that didn't exist, through space and time that wasn't there. I was pretty sure that I was dead and being sucked... somewhere. If I had had a voice I would have been screaming but it wasn't with fear. I was angry as hell.

And then – a moment of extreme disorientation and the light was there again except that this time it was coming from behind closed eyelids and I had a body again; my body. There were sounds all around me; voices talking in quiet tones, some I recognized, some I didn't; the sounds of footsteps, breathing, crying; strange mechanical clicking, whirring and beeping and over it all a deep rhythmic pulsing that I didn't recognize at all.

As I became aware of the sounds I also became aware of my body again. I was lying on my back with my head raised. I was hurting all over but not too badly. It was mainly a dull ache that made me well aware of its presence, but didn't make me want to scream. This was just as well because I wouldn't have been able to scream if I had wanted to on account of the great lump of plastic in my mouth that I was in danger of chipping my clenched teeth on.

I had a fleeting and somewhat ludicrous daydream that one day that piece of plastic and I were going to have a battle with my teeth as my army, and I was going to chew the thing to bits and spit it out. It wasn't that I particularly hated it, it was just... strange and I couldn't work out what it was and why it was there.

In fact I was generally confused and it took me a while to realize that the chunk of plastic wasn't just in my mouth making my jaw ache and teeth itch; but it went all the way down my throat. For a blinding moment there was complete and utter panic; but I was getting clearer and managed to drag myself away from the edge of the chasm. I knew where I was; I knew what was happening and I knew that if I was going to choke on the plastic I would have done so by now.

I was okay. I kept repeating that and focused on the hiss and click of machinery that synchronized with the rise and fall of my chest. My throat relaxed around the tube and I stopped wanting to cough and choke. I was quite proud of myself when I managed to get calm and reasonably comfortable and I declared a temporary truce with the plastic.

That being resolved, I extended my awareness to other parts of my body. I was fairly comfortable although it was quite hot even thought I was only covered by a thin sheet. I had a flash of embarrassment when I realized that I was naked underneath but that was ridiculous so I pushed it aside.

I felt someone was holding my hand, presumably my mother or Rena. I was slightly startled when my other hand seemed to rise from the bed of its own accord and something pressed against my wrist. Stupid. I was going to have to stop freaking out at everything. It was just a nurse taking my pulse. It would be a lot easier if I could see her.

I paused to take stock. Okay... I was obviously in hospital and just as obviously in deep trouble. I noticed a sound that had been in the background for a while; soft crying and I realized that someone was upset because of me. That decided me that it was probably a good time to let everyone know that I was back. It was then that I made the scariest discovery of all – I couldn't move. Although I could hear and think quite clearly and I could feel ever touch, Still, I couldn't move.

I started to panic in earnest. I was screaming inside and the darkness laughed at me. I heard someone speak, their voice urgent. The words 'in distressed' were the only ones that filtered through. I heard Rena call my name and I tried; I really tried to answer her but I couldn't, goddamit; I couldn't. The strange throbbing intensified and the shocking realization came to me that it was my own heartbeat.

And then the darkness came for me. This time I fought it. The feeling of being terrified at the dark places; the lonely places and the nothing place. It all came back to me now.

Here, at least I had Rena-chan. What if I couldn't come back? What if I had to stay here alone in the stygian blackness? Had all this just been to say goodbye? No way. No way was I going to say goodbye. I was going to get back to Rena no matter what. I was... I was...

It didn't matter how hard I fought; the darkness was relentless. It didn't fight back, it just gently but irresistibly took me away and then I was alone again. I raged and cried and begged, but there was no one there; no one to hear.

Sometimes I heard voices. They seemed to be close; but not close enough to make out what they said. I always ran towards them but they always faded away in the end. Sometimes I felt I was too tired; too demoralized to run but as long as there was a chance they would lead me back to Rena, I always followed.

And then; suddenly the light was there and I embraced it totally, throwing myself at it and falling as before.

This time there was no preliminary getting used to things slowly; I was totally and completely 'there' and the first thing I was aware of someone crying; no sobbing.

Rena-chan?

I wanted to reach out, just touch her hand to let her know that I was okay; to make some contact, in some small way, but she was as distant as the moon. The panic at not being able to move was muted this time; overlaid with frustration.

I felt a sudden exhaustion and when the darkness came again I had no energy to fight it. I remembered that somewhere I had heard someone say that you need to pick your battles. You fight the things that are really important; the battles you need to win. All the rest... just let them go. So I let it go; I let the darkness take me.

After that there were lots of times I found the way back. Sometimes there was a lot of action around me and I felt sick and confused. Sometimes I was drifting and unable to gather any sense; any focus. But sometimes I knew exactly where I was and what was going on around me. I heard my mother and I heard Rena. I even heard the doctors telling them that the longer I stayed asleep the less likely it was that I would wake up.

They started talking about brain damage and organ failure and long term maintenance and the words scared me; but also made me feel angry. What the hell did they know?

Brain damage?

I wouldn't be thinking like this if I had brain damage... would I? Sh--. I was letting them get to me. I was starting to believe their crap myself. This was my life; mine, and I wasn't about to let them talk me out of it.

So I kept coming back; kept trying to move; to speak; to let them know I was here, but it just wasn't happening. I knew I was tiring; starting to get weaker, more exhausted every time and I knew that there was a chance that I wouldn't be able to keep going; to keep fighting. But I was damned if I was going to stop until I absolutely had to.

And then came that day; the terrible day; the last day. I was having one of my more lucid moments, just lying quietly and listening to everything. Now and again a nurse would come in and do what they did and then leave again. They keep turning me over; I don't know why, but it was nice. I liked it best when I was lying on my side facing the door. I knew it was facing the door because that's the way everyone came from. I liked facing it because then I would be facing Rena-chan when she came in.

When I was lying on my side Rena would sit down and bring her face really close to mine when she talked to me. Sometimes, I could feel her breath and sometimes she would even kiss me. Those were the times when I knew for sure that I wasn't in hell.

That day though, I was lying on my back when she came in. I knew it was her because of her scent. Lying there with nothing else to do, not even breathe, my senses got really acute and I could hear; smell and feel things that I otherwise wouldn't, when other things got in the way.

I waited for her to touch me; she always touched me, but that day she didn't. I heard no rustle. No movements from her. I think Rena just stood there. I wished I could see her face; see what she was looking at; what her expression was. I thought that I could feel her sadness, but I didn't know. It was at times like this that I wanted to cry; I wanted to be able to cry. I could feel her pain and knew I was causing it. Sometimes it was almost unbearable; almost.

It seemed as if Rena had been waiting because she stood there for a while, until the nurse came and greeted her. Then I felt Rena went and then sat down. I gave a metaphorical sigh of relief and pleasure. It didn't last long.

Rena took my hand and held it really tight. That's when I knew that there was something wrong. She didn't usually hold it that tight and her hand was shaking. I sensed that she leaned over and stroked my forehead with her other hand.

"You're so beautiful, Jurina." I heard she said.

There was something strange in the tone of her voice; something that made me really nervous.

"You've always been beautiful but, I don't know, since we got together you've been getting more and more beautiful every day."

Soft pads of her fingers traced my face, gently brushing my forehead; eyelids; nose; cheeks. If I could have I would have sighed. It felt so good.

"Oh Jurina; why did this have to happen? We were happy. I have never been so happy. You have always been the best thing in my life, even before we got together. You're so much better than me. You pull me up. I'm so sorry that I didn't realize that meant that I would pull you down."

You what?

"This is all my fault. If I hadn't texted you and called you that night… If I hadn’t lose my patience and just wait for you to arrive. We could have had the whole summer together and free to be wherever we wanted to be. But no; I had to rush it: I had to spoil it. It was just...” I heard her sigh heavily.

Do you remember that night? When we were watching the stars? You were so... pure. I loved you so much it physically hurt me. And then you were so... you. I couldn't help myself. I didn't know. I didn't know I was dooming you. I can't bear it, Jurina. I'm sorry but I can't. You were always the strong one; always. Maybe it seemed that it was me but it wasn't. Inside, where it really matters, you were the strong one; the one who always knew what to do; who could always find a way. That's one of the reasons I love you; your strength. But I haven't got that strength; that inner calm. I can't do this, Jurina. I can't do it on my own. With you by my side I can do anything but without you I'm nothing. I can't cope with this Jurina; I never could but... When it first happened I thought I could will you through it; that my love was so strong it would find you wherever you were and bring you back. But I couldn't."

Yes you could; you did. You don't know it Rena; not yet but you did. You made me fight the darkness, Rena.

"I've always sat here and watched you sleep and I've prayed. I've prayed to everyone I could think of but no one answered."

I did. I answered. It was silently, but I answered.

"I've watched every flicker, every movement. I've watched the numbers on the machines and listened to what everyone's said and I don't have hope anymore. I know that there are people who have done this for years; sat beside the one they love and waited; kept hope alive in their hearts, but I can't. Maybe I'm weak and a fool. I know it hasn't been long; not that long but... I've heard what they say. No one expects you to wake up, Jurina; no one. They are talking about moving you to a long term rehabilitation unit. Rehabilitation... that's where they put people to fade away when there's no hope; no chance."

The bleakness in her voice was chilling. It's as if all emotion had leaked out of her. Although she was still touching me; stroking me, I could feel that she'd completely withdrawn and there was nothing but a shell left. Was that how she saw me? I wasn't thinking about what she said; about the plans they had for me, all I cared about was her.

"I couldn't do that, Jurina. I couldn't go to that place every day and sit by your side waiting for you to die. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry but I just can't. I know I promised I would never leave you but I can't stay. I just can't stay; not without you."

What? She was leaving? She was leaving me? She was going away and leave me? No. My heart thudded in my chest; twisting painfully. If I could have I would have shouted at her.

'No, don't go.'

But I couldn't. I couldn't even cry. The monitor gave a strange little beep to register the change in the speed of my heartbeat. I'd worked out most of the sounds now and how they related to what was happening to my body.

For an instant I felt Rena tensed but then she sighed again.

"I would have been worried about that, Jurina; I would have wondered what it meant; whether you were getting better; worse. I would have told you to hold on... to please, please hold on but..."
She stroked my hair and I knew she was looking into my face. I so wanted to open my eyes right now, and look into her.

"They say that even if you do wake up now you probably won't be you anymore. I couldn't stand that. I don't know if you are going to wake up or not Jurina and to be completely honest at this point, I really hope you don't."

Wait. What? She wanted me to die now?

"I want to be with you again. I want to hold you and see your smile and look into your eyes, but I've lost any hope that I will ever see them again in this life. They keep saying that a miracle could happen and that we shouldn't give up just yet but I have, Jurina; I have given up. This should never have happened; never. You are too good for this. You are too good and pure and beautiful for it all to end like this and I can't sit here and watch it happen. It's only been a few weeks but I've watched you slip away a little more every day. No I haven't. How much longer before I watch you disappear altogether? I can't do that."

What did that mean? 'can't sit here and watch it happen...' Where was she going to go? What was she going to do?

"I love you so much; too much maybe. I can't live without you, Jurina. And I really, really don't think you are going to come back to me. I know that you are strong and that if you do come back you will understand and forgive me. I want to be with you again. I know that isn't going to happen; not here so... if you can't come to me then I will have to come to you."

She sounded more positive; her voice firmer but... Woah. SH--. Surely she couldn't mean what I thought she meant. She couldn't be thinking of—
That's when I started to fight. Okay, I had been giving it a bit of a go but nothing like this. I was scared; more scared than I can ever remember being in my life.

If I didn't get this stupid body working RIGHT NOW! My beautiful, beautiful Rena was going to do something really, really bad. I felt her warm and soft lips mildly pressed on my forehead. Rena kissed me.

"Goodbye, Jurina. Maybe I'm a coward. Maybe I'm a fool but I know that if you could have come back you would have come back. You have no idea what it's been like; sitting here and watching the crap they've been doing to you. When the breathing tube gets blocked they have to suck it out and it makes you choked and your heart goes crazy because you can't breathe while they're doing it. And they have to feed you through a feeding tube. You have tubes and needles in you everywhere and they inject drugs into you twenty times a day. That's all that's keeping you alive and what's the point in that? How can you ever come back to me from this? The worst thing of all is when they move you around. Even when they just lift your hand it's so... lifeless. I have never seen you anything but full of... no bursting with life. Even when you were asleep you were always moving. I can't bear this; I just can't. Please understand. I can't live without you and I can't live with you like this."

I was going crazy by then. I knew what she was talking about; I KNEW it and I had to just lie here and let it happen? I had to let the one I love walk out of that room and walk out of life? LIKE HELL I WOULD.

My body was like a lump of lead but my heart and soul were writhing; screaming; fighting. I was literally screaming at my useless body to move: just a bit; just enough. There was nothing on the outside to show the huge struggle that was going on inside. I was screaming and sobbing; begging God; the universe; anyone.

'Please, please don't let her die. Please let me stop her before it's too late. How could I ever live with myself if I let her go now? I can't do it. I can't let her go. I can't let her die. I can't... I can't...'

"Goodbye, Jurina. I love you more than anything. I have always loved you. We'll be together soon."

NO.

No, no, no, no, no. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. I had to... I had to... My stupid, useless body was actually beginning to fight now; struggling to surface. Even the monitors were sounding the fight because my heart was speeding up. I didn't need that freakin' beep to tell me that. I could feel it hammering in my chest as if it was trying to get out.

Rena kissed me once more and I could sense her withdrawing from me, but paused for a moment.

"Jurina... I don't know what's happening with you right now. You're struggling with something."

Yes, you fool. Make the connection. Wake up. You're as unconscious as I am. You're blind. You IDIOT Rena.

"Yesterday I would have been worried about that but it doesn't matter now. Just try and hold on for a few hours. Just a few hours, Jurina and I'll be there for you. I'll be waiting and I'll catch you when you fall."

No, God. No. I was not going to let her do this. I was not. I was not. Her hand started to slip through mine and I put everything I had into holding on. It was slipping, slipping. My fingers twitched. Great. It was a start but not enough; not nearly enough. She had already let go and I knew she was walking out the door.

"Nooooo."

Of course it wasn't a word, how could it have been, but it was a sound. It was definitely a sound.

"Jurina?"

Come back. Oh please come back; please, please, please Rena. Please come back. I could feel the hot tears scoring down my cheeks but what good would they do if she couldn't see them? I tried to call her name and made another sound. Had she heard? Would she come back? Please, Rena. Please.

"Jurina... are you crying? Jurina? Can you hear me? Did you hear me?"

Yeah... like I was in any condition to answer. So what else could I do? A respite? She came back but would she stay? I knew that the nurses would be there in a minute; swarming all over me because the machines were going crazy. They would push her out and I would never see her again. Hold my hand Rena. Oh please hold my hand.

When I felt the cold fingers slip into mine I concentrated so hard; threw everything I had into holding on to them and suddenly it was as if I had broken through a seal and Rena yelped as I crushed her fingers. Let her yell. After what she just did to me she deserved a few broken fingers.

"Jurina. Oh my God Jurina. You... you..."

Yeah; no thanks to you.

Although, maybe it was thanks to her. If she hadn't said what she said I wouldn't have fought so hard and who knows what might have happened. The tears were flowing freely now. A feeling of intense relief was making me begin to drift again. But I couldn't do that. I couldn't be sure that if I did that Rena would be there when I woke up.

To Be Continued...

[sophcaro]

That was... intense! Can't wait for the next part 

[Kairi65]

That was... intense! Can't wait for the next part 

Can't agree more!!!

This is just....Woah.... 

Please update soon!!!

[Minami-chan]

T.T
Jurina!!!

[DC2805]

Like part 2 very much….very detailed descriptions of Jurina's struggling in the darkness - filled with frustrations, anxiety and pain. was actually moved by Jurina's courage.

slowly understood why Rena is giving up, can't blame her as it is too hurtful to see Jurina in this state.

Hope that there will be good ending…can't bear to see the poor couple suffering!

[Kirozoro]

Please continue ASAP

Jurina fighting!!!

Rena don't gve up!!!

[gek geki]

Part 3 fighting

[sastio13]

wow.
your descriptions...
hope you continue it soon

[wmatsui fanfic.]

Please update soon I love it

[gek geki]

Yes please

[screechingsoul]

Yes it's the last part...
it's been so long since I posted something here.. (sorry)
thanks for visiting and reading
hope this part will not disappoint you.. *bows*



.
.

So lay now.

You can count on me tonight.

When you close your eyes,

I'll be right by your side.

No need to worry.

It's all right, I'll be just by your side.

I'll never leave you till you sleep tonight.

Cover you with my arms and hold you tight.

I'll keep watching you.

I promise, I'll never leave...


Last  Part.


"I know Rena-chan will definitely like this..."

Jurina whispered to herself, and a smile worked its way across her face, as she watched in fascination while examining the pair of silver necklace on the palm of her right hand.

The light coming from the jewelry store hit them as she tilted her palm from left to right and watch the shimmering light projected at the silver pendants.

One month prior, Jurina went to this store, to bring her own layout for the design that she wanted to be done with the necklaces.

She lifted the two entwined necklaces and allow it to dangle from her hand. The exquisitely unique accessories, showcases a magnetic interlocking heart design pendants. Which formed an infinity symbol when joined. (Symbolizing everlasting love and devotion.)

The half of the heart shape pendant, accented with black cubic zirconia (black diamond) has Jurina's name neatly engraved in its outline. And Rena's name on the other diamond accent half.

With a smile of contentment painted on her face, Jurina immediately prompted the shop attendant to enclosed it in a nice package.

It's been a year, since Rena confessed that night under the sky sprinkled with stars. And Jurina will be reliving those moments together with the item that she was holding in her hands wrapped in a small pink box tied with baby blue ribbon as a sign of their unending love and friendship.

Jurina held out her phone inside her black rider's jacket, and started reading Rena's message.

____June/18/2014____

From: Matsui Rena

I'm heading at the train station now...(^_^)

See you in a bit.

Received: 4:46 pm
_________________


Rena knew nothing about the gift. All she knew was, the both of them were only going to watch the concert of her favorite rock band— the B.O.C as the band will be holding a concert at Nippon Gaishi Hall at exactly 7 in the evening. Jurina saw how happy and excited Rena was, when the both of them brought the tickets in advance.

And about the necklace, Jurina kept it as a secret as possible and she was planning to give it to Rena later after they met at the station. Jurina laugh to herself thinking, of how this gimmick seemed to be "too old fashioned".

Her attentions returned back to the phone, Jurina scrolled down some more and view Rena's latest messages.

By this moment, Jurina knew that Rena was getting antsy. Since the time she entered the store, Rena keeps on sending messages to her, obviously asking of what took her so long. Yet, she just told the latter to wait for a moment and she was on her way to the train station.


____June/18/2014____
From: Matsui Rena

What time will you get here? I'm already at the train station...

Received: 5:16 pm



_____June/18/2014_____
From: Matsui Rena

Jurina, where the heck are you!? I've been waiting here for almost 30 minutes... and it's getting dark.

Received: 5:47 pm
_________________



Jurina couldn't suppress a smile as she was picturing out, how Rena's face looks funny when she sulks.

She was at the Sakae area and the ride from the train station to Kasadera station was about 10-30 minutes. From there, it's a three minute walk before they reach to Nippon Gaishi Hall.

Sliding the mobile phone back to her pocket, Jurina went out of the store. It couldn't have been happier to walk at the side street to the train station where Rena has been waiting.

She heard a familiar ringing tone and recognizes that it was coming from her mobile phone, and then got it out of her pocket again. Rena's name and avatar flashes into the screen.

"Rena-chan, I'll be right there in a minute okay? Don't be mad please..." Jurina start off, before the girl could initiate her lengthy speech through the phone.

"It's nearly 6 o'clock Jurina, could you please hurry up? Co'z we will surely missed the concert. " Rena being irritated was audible at the tone of her voice on the other end.

Jurina chuckled then walks faster than her usual pace. Rena couldn't afford to missed that concert. It was her ultimate dream, to attend and see her fave band in live concert. That was written on their "checklist" —of the things they wanted to do, while spending their summer break together.

Jurina was well aware that Rena was getting a bit displeased now. So she increased her pace, while holding the mobile phone up to her ear.

"Just wait for—" Jurina stopped to look on her side.

Almost immediately she was confronted by the deafening sounds of screeching tires, added by the blinding lights came pass through her. That was the last thing Jurina heard and witnessed before her body flew through the air. Her visions wheeling to the darkening sky, to the ground and back the sky.

Then the pain registered as her head and body slammed into the hard unforgiving asphalt.

After that, there was nothing, nothing but darkness.

Jurina's consciousness grappled with the unending unmarked darkness, trying but finding nothing to hold onto. Her mind whirled through the empty nothingness. The blackness went on forever, an eon of floating, spinning and swimming through not a thing.

After what seemed like a lifetime, Jurina vaguely sensed something besides utter dark. She latched on to it, so thankful for anything tangible in the perfect nothing.

It was pain. Buzzing and smothering pain. Everywhere, in everything. It burned, it tortured and it killed. It eclipsed even in the unending blackness. Jurina tried to twitch, tried to escape the flames of hurt, but her body didn't respond to her commands.

She was helplessly tumbling through nothingness. It hurt so much. It hurt and it wouldn't stop. She thought it would be best to stay put, to stay motionless.

What the hell had happened anyways? Jurina tried to focus her mind on why she was here, wherever it was...

Slowly, like listening with your head underwater, Jurina became aware of voices. Voices over her, or maybe under her. Several different voices, fading in and out in a confusing whirl of sound. Direction was confusing in this nothingness.

...what happened to her?!

...ambulance.

They'll be here soon...

License plate of that car...

But somewhere, along with the mixture of unknown and unfamiliar voices, Jurina heard a voice that she recognized all her life... and tried to find that voice.

Oh my god...

Jurina!?

...god please Jurina

...she's not breathing

...CPR??

...can you hear me?

...don't move her

...please Jurina don't leave me, oh God Jurina, don't go....

Don't go, stay here....

Jurina wondered if she should answer that distressed voice crying her name. It seemed important somehow. But the darkness still beckoned, and Jurina knew if she turned, floated, swam back to that voice, the pain would return full force.

But that voice. The voice was familiar, as familiar as her own, and it needed answering so badly. Jurina couldn't let that voice cry and scream; she had to respond.

Rena. It's Rena...

As if naming the voice was tantamount to making a choice, the dakness slightly faded away, leaving Jurina once again tumbling through absolute nothing but never ending pain.

Jurina struggled, frustrated with the loss of whatever progress she had made, flailing violently with all her might to find anything at all, anything besides pain.

"Rena..."

Jurina let out in a soft and raspy voice. Eventhough she did not expect that Rena would hear it.

"I'm here. I'm here Jurina. I love you.. please be okay..."

Wracked sobbing screams and cries for help. Why was it raining? Jurina became aware of externals, knowing that the pain she was feeling was coming from her body. Her broken body. Jurina reeled away from that body, not wanting to feel the awful pain associated with it. But that was the only way to hear Rena.

The voice...the voice was all that was important. Pain would pass, could be gotten used to... but the voice was everything.

Jurina focused with all her strength on Rena's voice, aching to hold her and tell her that she wasn't going anywhere, but would she PLEASE stop the pain?

But she couldn't move. As if a heavy blanket lay over her entire body, holding her down with a stone weight. Yet her mind wasn't held down. She tried to voiced out her thoughts to Rena, comforting her.

Jurina wanted to say, 'I love you too. Don't worry I'm fine, it'll be okay.'

But it came out as, "Love... love you... okay...."

If she hadn't went to the store to fetch the gift for Rena...

If she hadn't been on this street...

If she'd walked faster or slower...

If she hadn't answered the phone call...

if...

if...

IF...

Jurina's consciousness faded out again to the nothing, but as her mind faded to black there was one single last image of Rena appeared in her mind. Recalling her warm, bright smile and those pretty brown eyes, that looks like they were pleading.



_________________

The darkness was tugging at me now, but for the first time I managed to ignore it; thrust it aside. This was just too important.

Oh yeah... I knew what to do. I knew what to do to keep Rena with me. It took a lot of effort though; A LOT of effort. Yet before I achieved it, the expected battery of medical staff arrived to poke and prod me, trying to work out what was happening.

But they couldn't make Rena leave because I was holding on too tight. They tried to pry her hand away from mine, but there was no way I was going to let go; no way at all.

I managed to force my eyes open; just a tiny bit, but slammed shut again at the stabbing pain of the light of the outside world. I tried to open my eyes again, blinking at the light that was harsh after the darkness. The blinking helped and the blurred, flickering images resolved and I was looking at Rena. She was pale; so pale and I could see that she had been crying... a lot.

I barely noticed that there was anyone else in the room but I couldn't shut them out completely, they were too obtrusive. They seemed to swarm and they were everywhere; nurses, doctors, whoever.

They were talking to me. I knew it; asking me questions, wanting things of me; to stretched my eyes flashing some light and; to squeeze their hands— but my eyes were busy and the only hand I wanted to squeeze was the one already in mine.

Whatever they did to me I ignored. My eyes were locked with Rena's; willing her to understand; willing her to stay; begging her not to go; not to leave me. She looked stunned, shocked and... scared.

After a while; far too short a while, the darkness started to fight back in earnest. I struggled with it but it kept seeping in, and in the end it was sweeping through me in waves and I knew it was going to take me. I was terrified. I didn't want to go to sleep because I was afraid of what I would find, or not find when I woke up.

My grip on Rena's hand was weakening and I fought to hold on; to stop her being taken away. My eyes begged and pleaded with her even as they began to lose focus and slide away from her. She looked... empty, drained and unsure.

Mustering one last burst of energy, I squeezed her hand and at last she smiled and nodded slightly. The relief sweeping through me, pried my fingers away from the edge of the cliff and I fell.

_________________

I woke up and I knew instantly that something was different. I was more aware of what was happening around me and, when I tried, I find that I could move my hand quite easily.

"Jurina?"

I turned my head towards the sound of the voice and opened my eyes. My mother smiled through her tears and brushed the hair out of my face.

"Oh dear." Was all she said. It was all she could say.

I smiled at her.

Wait.

I smiled?

I opened and closed my mouth a few times and licked my lips. My mouth was dry as dust but it seemed I had finally won the battle with that chunk of plastic.

"Are you thirsty sweetheart?"

After my mother asked, she reached out for the glass and filled it with water from the glass pitcher at the table beside my bed. As I slowly lifted my head from the pillow, she approached quickly and put her hand behind my head to help me into a more seated position. Then placed the rim of the glass to my lips and assisted me to drink.

Was I in hell?

That first sip of water tasted like nectar from heaven; even though it did highlight the fact that I had a really, really sore throat. I lay back with a sigh and relaxed onto the soft white pillows as my mother stroked my hair. Even though my body was assailed by numerous aches and pains; some small, some not so small; I was content...

Until the memory hit me! I sat bolt upright, although I couldn't sustain it and fell back instantly, gasping with pain. But I was not about to let pain get in my way.

"Rena." I gasped through a throat so constricted it could barely let the sound through.

"Rena." I had to know. I had to know that she was alright.

"Sssh, now, sssh. She'll be here soon. She's not gone far. She's never far away." Mom's left hand was gently pressing my shoulder to prevent any movements coming from me.

"But..."

"Sssh, Jurina. You're not strong enough yet. Just relax now. Rena will be here soon."

"No." She didn't understand. She could be... she might be...

"Rena." I insisted and my mother looked alarmed.

The monitors were showing my panic again and a nurse appeared as if by magic. She tried to soothe me but I was resolute.

"Rena."

"You need to relax now. If you don't, I'm going to have to sedate you again. You don't want that do you?" It was the nurse telling me.

"Smug witch."

Oh hell. After so long being able to think but not speak it was too easy to let thoughts slip out of my mouth. I widened my eyes and swallowed but she just smiled and nodded.

"I can see you are feeling better. But you still need to rest; to relax."

"Rena." I said stubbornly.

"It's alright, sweetheart." My mother said quickly. "I'll go and find her. You take it easy and I'll bring her back."

I looked at her anxiously. Bring her back. What if she couldn't? What if...?

"Calm down, Jurina. What are you getting so wound up about? Why is it so important for you to see Rena?"

"I came back... for her." I could see my mother's face and it looked sad, disappointed. "And you," I added hastily, "but..." She smiled and touched my face.

"I know sweetheart. I know. You loved her and she's the most important thing in your life right now. I understand."

"No." She didn't understand. She couldn't but I couldn't tell her. It wasn't my secret to tell.

"I need to..." Damn it was hard to talk. My throat was incredibly sore. "I need to talk..."

"You're not going to be doing much talking for a while." It was the nurse again.

Screw you. Butt out witch. What did this have to do with her? Fortunately, that time I didn't say it out loud. I think she saw it in my eyes because she smiled and patted me. Patted me? Sh--, the person I love might be killing herself... right now; and she's patting me!

"Rena." I insisted. "I need..."

"Alright; alright." She threw her hands up in the air. "I don't know what's so goddamn important that you have to talk about it right now... but I will go also and get Rena. Try to rest until I get back."

For God's sake does no one appreciate urgency when they see it? I closed my eyes and ground my teeth. The nurse fussed around me and I had a sudden, terrifying thought. She wasn't... Thankfully she wasn't. She was just fiddling with equipment, checking things and generally hanging around. She must have seen my face because she grinned at me.

"Don't worry; I may be a smug witch but as long as you take care of yourself, I'm happy. No more freaking out. No more threats of needles in the ass. Do we have an understanding?"

"Would you really? Stick a needle in my ass?" My voice was coming back although it was still thick and croaky and hard to force out of my sore throat.

"I might. A girl has to have some fun." Girl? She must be at least 60... well okay, maybe 45.

"I'll try."

"Good girl." She patted me again, smiling and I wondered guiltily if I had spoken the last thought out loud again.

Despite the fear; the frustration; the urgency my eyes started to get heavy. I widened them and glared accusingly at the nurse.

"What have I done now?" She asked, smiling.

"Sleepy," I mumbled, angry with myself that I was so weak.

"Of course you are. You're lucky you're awake at all. You've been unconscious for a long time and the darkness doesn't let go that easily."

My eyes snapped open and I literally gawped at her.

"You know?"

"About the darkness?" She smiled and nodded her head.

"I've been a nurse for more years than you have been alive. I've had many patients come and go and I've spoken to them about their experiences. Sometimes they have desperately needed to tell someone who would understand and gradually I came to understand." She sat down on the bench at the side of the bed and stroked my hand.

"The darkness is a very scary thing, but it only has a holdover on you when you're lost in it. You're not lost any more, Jurina. The minute you broke through you weren't lost in it any more. Sleep is just sleep for you now and you need a lot of it. I know that you don't want to hear it but if you overtax your body you could make yourself very ill; you could bring the darkness back again. Do you understand? Do you appreciate why we can't let that happen: why, if you keep on pushing yourself we are going to have to sedate you, to keep you calm as your body comes back to life as your mind has?"

"Yes, but..."

"Jurina, sleep."

The look on her face was sympathetic but stern. Though she knew what I was feeling; what I was doing; what was going on behind my eyes, but she had no idea. I didn't give a crap for the darkness right then. It could have come to me then and there for all I cared; just as long as I could speak to Rena first; to know that she was safe; that she would be there with me. I knew that I could overcome anything; if I could overcome her pain.

"You don't understand."

"I understand that you're frightened and stubborn and..."

"No, really; you don't understand. I need to speak to Rena."

She gave me a long, strange look. "You heard something didn't you? You heard her say something to you that's worried you and you won't be able to rest until you've spoken to her and reassured yourself."

I stared at her, my heart thudding again. How did she knew...?

"How do I know? Twenty years as a nurse has taught me a lot. I'll make you a deal. If I give you five minutes alone with her do you promise that you will rest properly afterwards?" She gently stroked the hair out of my eyes and the pleasure of her touch almost sent me to sleep right there and then. I sighed and nodded. "Then rest and I promise I will wake you when she gets here."

For a moment, I let her voice and touched, lulled me then I slipped towards slumber. But then I remembered. What if she couldn't wake me when she got here? What if she never got here? I jerked back to awareness but before I could say anything the door opened.

The relief that washed over me to see Rena there; standing in the doorway, was almost painful. She looked tired and stressed but she was there; she was alive.

I barely noticed the nurse leave, ushering my complaining mother with her. All I saw; all I cared about, was Rena. Almost hesitantly she walked across the room and sat on the bench. With a great deal of difficulty I managed to turn onto my side so I could see her better. She kept looking at me, not saying anything and I sure as hell didn't know what to say. How can you just come out and say to the woman who you loved dearly...

'I know you were going to kill yourself and I really, really need you to tell me that you're not anymore.’

Well, actually it seems simple now but it wasn't something I could have coped with then.

All the time I was struggling she didn't make a move to help me; didn't say a word. I felt a little aggrieved. I didn't realize how shocked she was; how frightened.

"Thanks for the help." I smiled at her.

"What?" Rena seemed to be coming out of a dream.

"Nothing; it's alright." I nestled my head into the pillow. It felt cool and I had to close my eyes, almost drifting again. No. I couldn't do that. Five minutes she'd said. Five minutes wasn't long and I had already wasted half of them.

I stopped trying to think of what to say and just let myself speak. My voice was harsh and kept disappearing, but I pressed on: the risks of allowing myself to stop were too great not to.

"I liked it when they put me on my side, especially when I was facing the door because that's the way you came in. I could smell your scent before you were even close. I liked the way you'd put your face on the pillow next to mine and I could feel your breath on my face."

Rena's eyes went wide. "You knew? You knew I was here?"

"Of course I did."

"Why didn't you...?"

"I couldn't. In the beginning it was like... It was all so far away. And I found my way back, but it was like I was looking in from the outside. I could hear things sometimes and sometimes I could even feel things... your breath; your touch... but I couldn't move. I tried hard... really hard but..."

"I know," Rena said in a strange voice. "At the time I didn't, but looking back... All those times when the nurses said you were getting distressed; when they were worried about your heart racing... that was when you were trying to reach us wasn't it?"

"I don't know. Probably."

"But you couldn't."

"I never stopped trying. Sometimes... sometimes it was hard. It would have been easier to curl up in the darkness and let it all go away. I almost did... sometimes." It was getting hard to focus and I knew I was sliding. I couldn't let that happen. Before I could go to sleep, I had to...

"You knew when I was here; when I was with you?"

"Yes."

"And you heard me? You heard me talking to you?"

"Yes, sometimes... all of you."

"And you were trying to get back to me?"

"All the time."

Rena paused, turning her head away. "Did you... did you hear... what...? Did you know what...?"

"What do you think made me push through in the end? I was tired. Every time I came close, I tried to get all the way through but I was getting more and more tired and I think that in the end it would have got too hard. But... I heard you Rena; I heard you and I knew what you were going to do and I couldn't let you."

Both of us were crying and suddenly Rena threw her arms around me and pressed her face into my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Jurina. I'm so sorry but I truly thought you weren't going to come back. I couldn't live without you and I..."

"Hey... it's okay. I understand; I really do. That's why I had to come back; right then... because I couldn't live without you. When I woke up and you weren't here... I was so scared. I... I thought..."

I was fading fast but I still didn't know. I still didn't know.

"Rena…"

I whispered with the last of my fading strength. She raised her head and looked into face.

"Tired Rena. Need... need... but..."

Gently, Rena smiled and touched my cheek.

"Sssh then. You need to sleep now. You need to rest to get your strength back."

"I need... I... need..."

"Ssh, Jurina. It's alright; it's going to be alright now."

Sh--; I was the one who was supposed to be confused and losing the plot. I ground my teeth wondering if everyone around me was stupid... or was I?

"Rena...no; no I..."

Dammit. My voice was fading as fast as I was. I knew full well that I only had seconds before I fell asleep and before I did I had to know. I HAD to know for sure. She wasn't listening. She was trying to shush me like everyone else but my stubbornness won through again.

"Rena! Stop."

My voice was stronger but it took almost all the energy I had. She frowned at me.

"What... you...s...said. I... I need... need to..."

I saw the light go on in her eyes. First she looked stricken and then she smiled and stroked my face. She was crying but smiling at the same time.

"It's alright, Jurina. I was a fool; a goddamned stupid fool. If I had known you were there... If I had even known that there was a chance you would be..."

"Were you really...?"

"Yes, I was really... I had it all prepared; all set out. I came to say goodbye and I was going to..."

"But..."

I was panicking again and tried to sit up but it sent me to the edge and I barely heard her... but I heard enough to let me release my hold on consciousness willingly and sink softly rather than being dragged down.

"I'm not going to leave you, Jurina. I am never going to leave you. Go to sleep and I promise I will be here when you wake up."

Although I was falling into darkness again it wasn't the darkness and I went willingly, knowing that soon I would rise again and when I did she would be waiting.

_________________

"Jurina... Jurina, Can you hear me?"

"Hey are you listening?"

Jurina turned her face to the right and saw Rena's forehead creased, as she was staring back at her.

"Oh that one's Orion, the hunter," Rena looked back upwards the resumed from telling Jurina about the stars, stories of constellations and the planets.

"And if you look up there," she said, pointing to the brightest star in view, "that one's Venus."

"I thought Venus was a planet?" Jurina questioned.

After a couple of months that she had been discharged from the hospital, Rena and Jurina went back to their usual favorite spot. Observing the stars while lying on a blanket covered grass next to each other. And Jurina couldn't imagine a single moment in her whole life where she'd been more calm or relaxed.

"Yes, it's the only planet visible from earth, on a night like this, you can see her in her full glory." Rena replied her gaze never left the sky.

Jurina rolled onto her side, and moved her arm, trying to get into a more comfortable position.

Rena turned away from her beloved stars for a second to smile at Jurina, then quickly gazing back skywards, and then lay flat next to her. Jurina returned it just as warmly, lingering on her features for a few moments.

Jurina misses everything about Rena. Her long passed the shoulder blades dark hair spilling around her back, her round expressive brown eyes, her sweet smile and her milky white skin. Rena looked perfect. God-like in fact.

"What are you thinking?" Rena turned to her, half whispering up towards her face, as she noticed Jurina was again lost on thought.

"I was thinking of how long we've been together, and why we haven't had sex yet..." Jurina responded in a coquettish manner.

The soft ray of the moon illuminated the perfect feature of Rena's beautiful face and Jurina could clearly make out the crimson blush gathered to her cheeks. Yet, Rena tried to conceal it by turning over onto her stomach, and pretended to be interested in a certain blade of grass.

While Jurina watched her twisting it in her fingers, she tantalized and gently stroking the small of Rena's back. Tentatively tracing letters, words, over Rena's back between her bra strap and the top of her waist line. Not realizing what Jurina was doing.

Rena missed the first couple of letters, but still got the gist of what Jurina was trying to spell out.

Two almost intersecting lines connected right above her waist. The letter V. Four gentle lines, three traced to her side making Rena shiver when they reached the edge, and a final one straight down making her leg twitch slightly. The letter E. Three more lines, then a circle, then a final curve. YOU.

Jurina's magic fingers left Rena feeling slightly drowsy amongst other things as she re-traced her sentence.

'I love you.'

Rolling over, Rena gazed right into Jurina's beautiful eyes, just inches away from her own.

"I thought, we would never had a chance to be with each other again." Jurina's face was leveled with Rena. Nose to nose and foreheads touching.

Rena leaned upwards and her lips resolutely pressed against her. Savoring the soft texture and the sweet taste of Jurina's lips.

Lingering there and enjoying the tickling sensation it brought to the both of them. Rena then pulled away slightly, and moved her leg more over Jurina, who was almost laid on top of her with Rena's bottom half with Jurina's arm still around her shoulders.

Suddenly, Rena withdrew, rolling over onto her other side, moving away from Jurina, who felt her start to shake slightly.

So Jurina gently placed her other arm over Rena, sliding her fingertips under the other girls' rib cage, and slowly rolled her back over.

"Why are you crying?" Jurina whispered softly.

"I'm so glad you stayed with me.." Rena said. There was a solitary tear rolling down her face.

"Thanks to you. You called me back. It was your voice that I clung to, that kept me tethered here. I couldn't leave it behind".

Being a cry baby as she was, Rena's tears flows like a river as the memories invaded back again.

"It already came to pass. Where together now." Jurina leaned forward to kissed Rena in the nose, while her thumbs softly caressing Rena's cheek and cleared her tears.

"I've ruined everything haven't I?" Rena chuckled through her tears.

"Still, I love my cry baby Rena." Jurina finished, and leaned over, placing her leg over Rena, entwining her slim fingers in Rena's smooth dark hair, and pulled her face upwards slightly until their lips met once more.

[DC2805]

Thanks for the happy ending!!!

[gek geki]

Thank you so much for this gift

[Megumi]

It's updated! 
This fic is so beautiful and my heart was silently crying.

Thank you for your update!
Arígatou!

[kuro_black29]

I......AM...........SPEECHLESS

'wipe my runny nose

author san...thankyou a lot....