Milestone: A Reluctant Idol (complete)

[DO Me DO Me]

^ah, there you are. that "pokemon" thing is so cute Glad you liked it.

oh the alternate ending, that was for part 15 not the final chapter. In fact I guess I'll share it. It comes after the part where Miki's tears fell on Aya's face.

"You break my heart." She mumbled as her tears continued to fall. Aya sat up now and looked at her.

"Miki, what are you saying?" She asked.

"It hurts." She cried. "It doesn't matter if I'm with you or not, I always feel this way. I can't take it anymore. If I wait any longer, I might lose you again."

"Lose me? You never did and I never left you. Please, don't be like this. Stop talking nonsense."

"It's not the same." Miki blubbered. "I thought I would be all right just to be friends, even if I couldn't have you, we'd just be friends. But I don't think I can do that anymore. It would always haunt me to see your face everyday. It would be hard for me to just talk to you, knowing that these feelings for you are always there. I just feel like letting you go so I wouldn't have to suffer anymore."

Aya shook her head in disbelief. "How can you say that? What good will that do? Wouldn't I be hurt too? Please, don't say foolish things like that. I thought we already worked things out." Aya grabbed the crying girl and held her close to her. "Miki... Please don't do this. Even if we aren't meant to be, at least always be there for me. Please? I'll always be there for you too. Just...just keep me inside your heart for now."

"I feel like I'm dying. It hurts so much." Miki cried into Aya's shoulder. "I don't deserve to be with you. You're better off without me. Please let me go."

Aya held her tighter. She could feel Miki's body trembling in her arms. "No, I won't. I've hurt you so much for so long. Please forgive me, let me make it up to you. I love you, Miki. I mean it."

"I know. But I don't have your heart." Miki felt Aya's arms loosening but still holding on to her. "I want to be the only one inside your heart. If I can't have it all then I want none of it. You still don't know what you really want, do you, Ayachan?" Miki asked. Aya pulled away and stared at her, completely dumbstrucked. "Even though I said not to give up singing, if you really did love me, you would've said something else than that."

"That's not right! It's like you tricked me into saying that!" Aya snapped.

"Maybe, but the heart doesn't lie, Aya. And I heard yours and there's no room for me in it." She stood up and tried to compose herself, wiping her face with her shirt sleeve. She calmed herself with deep breaths but sniffed every few seconds. She headed towards the door, not looking back.

"If you walk out that door, you'll never see me again." Aya threatened. She bit her lip, she didn't mean to say that but she couldn't think of anything else to say.

Miki paused before the door, not out of hesitation but to give one last remark. "It's ok, you don't have to worry about me getting in your way anymore. It wouldn't have worked out anyway." She reached out for the doorknob but was sudden entrapped by a pair of arms grabbing her from behind.

"Miki, what the hell are you doing? Why are you doing this?" Aya cried, holding on to Miki. Miki tried to free herself but Aya wouldn't let go. They struggled but Aya was determined not to let Miki go. Each time she felt her hands slipping apart she only held on tighter. Miki could feel the soreness in her ribs but she refused to fight back though she knew she could easily overpower Aya. She could also feel Aya's perseverance in her strength, but she couldn't take back what she had said. She finally gave up all her attempts to escape and fell to the floor. It was late and they were both fatigued at this point.

"Please, let me go." Miki said weakly.

Aya continued to hold on to Miki though her arms were tired now. She was determined to keep it up all night if she had to. She leaned her head against Miki's back, listening to her gasping breaths and behind it her heart beating rapidly. She fought hard to keep her eyes from closing. "Never." She whispered.

now I wonder if I had kept that instead of the other one would it change the story? I don't remember why I changed it. I guess either one could've worked but this one is a bit harsher than the other.

[rndmnwierd]

Both versions are good.

[ChrNo]

haha you like pokémon ?
/me is a pokémon fan

It comes after the part where Miki's tears fell on Aya's face.

you mean here ?

"Stop talking now. It's so late. Let's go to bed, ok?" Aya suggested. "You know, you're always welcome to stay in--" She stopped abruptly for something fell on her face. She opened her eyelids and it went into her eye. Her reaction was to blink and it the liquid trickled out of her eye and down her cheek. She wiped her face. It was warm and wet. Tears? She realized and looked up at Miki, whose face was streaked with them. Aya sat up now and looked at her. "Miki? What's wrong?"

well, in the two versions, Aya doesn't let her go...so i guess it wouldn't have changed the end ?
the sentence that i loved to read was

She suddenly felt a pain growing inside her chest. It was from guilt. She realized she had already broken their promise...no secrets. I want to be with you, Miki. That is what I want. She wanted to say all this time but the words never came out.

about the promise

both of the versions are great

...so...now...you...it...it really is the end of the world...:ONpleeease:

[Sukoshi]

*pauses listening to Aruiteru* (a bit too genki for M.A.R.I)

Wow at alternative 15....god I really do love your alternative chapters!  Just the   fact that you took your time to come up with different directions for your story and kept going at it until you were happy with it is just so wonderful!    

Thank you so much for posting that!  It was really touching

Now that Aya's never letting go *unpauses Aruiteru and imagines Ayaya and Miki  laughing happily hand in hand in the PV*

[ChrNo]

Now, i saved M.A.R.I forever.

[DO Me DO Me]

^That is too cute

More references

Part 11- well, most of it is fiction except the fact that Miki really does gesture and burst out talking in her sleep according to what Aya said about her once on a show. And the "Whatever! Just follow the instructions!" part that Miki burst out was actually something that happened to me. I was sleeping and my sister tried to wake me up and that's what I ended up saying. I didn't even remember saying that when I woke up. hehe

Part 12 - I had to ask a friend what Miki's radio show was like so thanks to her. Of course, I didn't go with the exact lineup of her show. The part about Miki not really having guests on her show is true. But the thing is that a few months after I wrote this part Miki finally had a guest on her show, and you know who it was? Yossi I'm pretty sure it was about Gatas or maybe I'm just dreaming hehehe.

Part 13 - I guess no one watches K-dramas but the drama Nacchi was referring to was Winter Sonata, because I Yonsama but then I made it too vague so I guess no one figured it out. hehe In fics, Tsunku's office is the equivalent to the Principal's office, nothing good can come out of it.

Part 14 - Miki's suicide dream in the bathroom was inspired by Pinch Runner as ChrNo pointed out. That VTR announcement Tsunku made to the girls reminded me of the one he did back in the 1st 7th gen auditions when he said NO ONE got picked and all the girls were like !!! And of course, the climax of the story, Mari's resignation from MM which was the whole underlying point of the story, hence the title "Milestone..." which that incident was a milestone in her life. Plus it's sneaky acronym M.A.R.I. which many of you figured out. Plus, if I remember the announcement of her resignation was on the 14th of April and this chapter happens to be Part 14.

Part 15 - not much references here, except the mentioning of the Friday magazine with Mari. I really wanted to write about the part where Miki's tears fell into Aya's eyes and she "cried" them out. It just sounds really sad and um...I can't find a word to describe it but it's just so I just tried to make this as dramatic/mushy/emotional as I could.

Part 16 - The part where Aya says she hates umbrellas is true. On her radio show some time ago she mentioned that she didn't like umbrellas because she was blown away in a typhoon once and got injured. As Sukoshi mentioned, members borrowing stuff from each other and forgetting to return them made me write that pants part which everyone seems to love. hehe And then the tour Aya mentions is her Hello Pro Part 2005 Matsuura Aya Captain Kouen concert with Melon Kinenbi and W (best concert IMO). And I had to mention about her performance with Melon of "Nikutai wa Shoujiki na EROS" Hawtest performance EVAR!

Part 17 - well it speaks for itself. The last few paragraphs (esp. the italicized words) are soo cheesy but it had to end happily huh? It's actually taken from translations of 3 different songs: GAM's "Thanks", Aya's "Ki ga Tsukeba Anata" and of course "Zutto Suki de Ii Desu ka?" As I've replied to Sukoshi's comment, I wanted to keep that "be my secret" line in the story just because it's so *gushy* hehe

and you know what's weird? I finished my story back in August and GAM's 2nd PV came out in October but...

Miki woke up from what seemed like the longest and best sleep she's ever had. So great that she never wanted to wake up. She squinted her eyes open and the silhouette of an angel greeted her. The sunlight haloed around her, outlining her wavy hair. The angel smiled at her and Miki made her lips smile back at her.

"Hi." The angel said sweetly.

With all the awkwardness completely gone now, Miki scooted closer to her. She lightly ran her finger down her spine and then followed it again with her lips. Aya squirmed from her touch but continued about her business.

(I know, it's the opposite but it's the same idea)

It's kinda weird how it coincides with each other, esp. because Aya's the one doing everything and her hair is exactly how I imagined it in the video. I'm not psychic!

Well I'm updating this all in the first post so if you ever want to read it again you don't have to dig around to find them.

[rndmnwierd]

Maybe Tsunku read your story.....Or had someone translate it for him.

[DO Me DO Me]

Yeah, I'm sure he steals many ideas from the forums, but he should've taken the good ones.

[rndmnwierd]

GAM lesbianism isn't a good idea?

[DO Me DO Me]

that was already there, Tsunku didn't have to think that up.

[Mikan]

*claps* yay! and I got to read it all finally.

I laughed out loud at the "Im hungry"
"Again? You tire me out" remark, that was just too funny. ahhhh, awesome.

Well done and I hope to see more of your work

Sorry Im not writing my usual 1000 word replies but Im getting slack and it seems a few other readers have learnt from my habit (good or bad I havent decided)

[kazitakato]

aaaa.....another fine Ayamiki piece......Aya-chan<3....and the way u used sum of her songs lyrics as part of her monologue...that was beautiful.....all i can say is "Encore....Encore"