O HAI.
Yes, I'm still alive. I've had a lot going on.
You all have no idea how much my life has changed since I started writing this monster.
It took me TWENTY DAMN MINUTES to post this chap on my blog and get to here. Dial-up =
Quite frankly, I'm scared to open the [more] emoticons menu, so I'm limited in my usage here
But JFC, don't let that stop you from your epic comments! I'll open the page and go for a walk or something
Anyway, I won't blab on and tease you for longer! I have other outlets for my slightly sadistic teasing nature now
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PART 32
AYA - SEPTEMBER 21ST
I had made it all the way to the street when it started to rain. Hard.
And I needed to pee.
Badly.
I groaned and spun on my heel, turning around and heading back inside. Her door was still unlocked.
"Maki?" I glanced around the empty apartment. I quietly shut the door behind me and cautiously began walking inside. Ah! There she was, on the balcony.
I started to call out to her, but a gut feeling inside stopped me. Silently, I walked towards the sliding glass door.
She stood there silently, a cigarette dangling between her fingers as she gazed out into the night. Her eyes searching the dark cityscape for answers as she slowly took a long drag.
She exhaled. The smoke drifted up into the night, mixing with the falling rain. It was then that I noticed the tears falling unheeded down her face.
I hesitated, my hand hovering over the handle of the door. She looked over and met my eye and turned to gaze back into the rain.
I opened the door, stepping out into the cool night. The sound of the falling rain was all around me. I walked up to her and gently laid my hand upon hers as it rest upon the railing.
"You came back," she said quietly, stubbing her cigarette out.
"Maki..."
"Did you need something?" she asked casually, pulling her hand out of my grasp to roughly brush the tears away.
"What's wrong?" My eyes searched hers for answers, but she turned her face away from me.
"Nothing." I reached out and grabbed her chin, turning her to face me. I struggled not to flinch at the raw pain in her eyes.
"Don't lie to me," I said quietly.
"I can't tell you," she sighed.
"I thought we were close... well, lately at least... and - "
"And that's why you are the one person I don't want to know."
We both fell silent and I released my grasp on her face. I looked out into the rain.
"I would like it if you felt you could tell me anything, but... I understand if you don't trust me like that, I mean - "
"I trust you," Maki interrupted me. "It's not about that... I just..."
"We've been in similar situations, you and I... Our lives are barely our own and, well... I just feel as though you understand me and maybe I understand you... I know you're a good person and - "
"I'm not," she practically spat out. "I'm not a good person. I make myself sick sometimes."
"What...?"
"I can't stop thinking about it lately. It's over and done, but I can't understand why I did what I've done... I just..." she turned her back to me and looked up at the balcony above hers. Without saying a word, without even quite knowing what I was doing, I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. She leaned back into me and started to cry again.
I somehow managed to get her inside and onto the couch with me before she completely collapsed. It was strange how she cried... she wasn't sobbing... she just seemed broken, tired, uncaring of the tears streaming down her face... She sat there, leaning against me like she had no strength left, letting me hold her, comfort her.
And then she began to speak. The words flowed from her lips like they couldn't escape fast enough, like they had been aching to get out.
She told me everything... their beginning... their end... ...and what really happened that night... the night that almost destroyed my best friend's entire world... Everything she'd been keeping inside all of those years, all of those burdens she'd been shouldering alone...
I struggled with myself, trying not to express my shock, my disbelief, my pity for her... I knew that wasn't what she needed at that moment... So, I did all I could do. I held her, rubbed her back, rested my cheek against her shoulder, comforting her as best I could.
Finally the words just ran out, and she fell silent. Slowly, she got up from the couch, pulling herself out of my embrace.
"..I'm s-"
"Don't say it," I cut her off, standing up to face her. She stared at me, her eyes, still so red from crying, but not revealing a thing. "After everything you've done for me... it's the least I can do..."
"I..." she trailed off, sighing heavily.
"Thank you."
"For what?" she looked bewildered.
"For trusting me this much... I... I wish I could help... Say something, anything to make it a bit better... But... I don't know how to help when you're in love - "
"I'm not in love with her anymore," she interrupted quietly.
"...you're not?"
"No."
"Then... since when?" I asked. She turned away from me to look at the clock.
"It's late. You need your rest for work tomorrow."
"But!" I protested as she led me over to the front door.
"I'll be fine. Really." Maki gently pushed my hair out of my eyes. She smiled a little and looked into my eyes. "Thank you." Before I quite knew what was happening, she had cupped my face in her hands and gently kissed my lips.
As I was still trying to grasp what was going on, she pulled away and opened the front door. Confused and disoriented, I walked out into the hallway.
"Good night," she said softly, closing the door behind me. I blinked several times and started down the stairs to the street.
It wasn't until I reached the rain soaked pavement that I realized I had completely forgotten to use her bathroom.
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Oh and don't give me a hard time about Maki smoking - there were pics published of her doing it
Topic: [END] memoir III: memory (I SLAYED THE BEAST!) (Read 157010 times)