Index:1.
This Thing Called Love / KojiYuu: See below
2.
Drowning / Atsumina:
here3.
The First Time / KojiYuu:
here4.
She's All Mine! / KojiYuu, SashiYuu:
here5.
1,300 Years / KojiYuu:
here~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I have lurking here for awhile and after reading so many stories here, I decided to post this one-parter KojiYuu which I have written...
This Thing Called Love
Love is about sacrifice…
“Good night, Sae-chan!”
Oshima Yuko walked into the dark hotel room and closed the door softly.
The moment she walked into the room, the smile disappeared from her face. She put her bag down on the floor, and walked over to the windows. She pulled back the curtains and lay down on the bed.
The room was dark; the only light illuminating the room was from the streets outside.
She turned her head towards the windows.
A lone tear rolled down her cheek.
Today was day 92 without Haruna.
“We have to talk.”
Yuko looked at Haruna in concern. “Are you okay? Is something wrong?”
“I’m sorry, Yuko. I don’t think this is working anymore.”
“This?” Yuko paused. “You mean us?”
Haruna avoided Yuko’s glance, and nodded her head once.
Yuko let out a shaky breath. “It’s okay. I understand.”She had promised Haruna that whenever Haruna wanted to end their relationship, Yuko would let her go without a fight. Haruna’s happiness and wishes was the most important thing to her.
Even if it was it was at her expense.
But with each passing day, it was getting harder and harder to act like she was fine with the decision. Especially since Haruna had just recently gotten together with Mariko.
When they were walking to their rooms a few minutes ago, Mariko and Haruna were walking side by side and Haruna was laughing at whatever story Mariko was telling her. Yuko wished that it was her who was besides Haruna and that it was her who was making Haruna laugh.
Instead, she teased Sae about her new haircut and made fun of Minami’s latest failure.
Yuko turned away from the window and looked around the quiet room.
Each member had their room this time, which was unlike their last tour, when Yuko got to share a room with Haruna. She remembered waking up early in the morning, and watched as Haruna slept in the bed next to her. The sunlight shone onto Haruna’s sleeping face and Yuko felt as if she could watch Haruna forever. Then Haruna stirred and opened her eyes. With her eyes barely opened, Haruna gave Yuko a sleepy smile, making her heart melt.
Yuko closed her eyes, and let her memories took her back to a happier time…
Back to Haruna…
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Love is selfish…
Kojima Haruna sat down on the edge of the stage, and tried to catch her breath.
“That was some practice!” Shinoda Mariko complained as she sat down next to Haruna.
Haruna nodded. “I’m so tired.”
Mariko stood up. “I better go to the washroom now before break is over.”
“Okay. I’ll just wait right here.”
Haruna smiled as she watched Mariko walked out of the arena. She looked around her, and noticed that most of the other members were also using their precious break time to rest. Tomochin and Tomomi were chatting quietly as they sat on one of the steps on the stage. Close to them, Sae was laying down on the stage, while Mayu and Yuki were sitting against the wall. Minami and Atsuko were nowhere to be seen.
The only one member who was still practicing was Yuko. She had a serious and determined look on her face. Her hair was dampen by the sweat on her face, but she kept working on the choreography as if to perfect it.
This Yuko was different than the one who would often joke, play or tease the other members.
A wave of longing washed over Haruna.
She wished she could turn back time.
If only…
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Love is about waiting…
Mariko walked back into the arena. She smiled when she saw Haruna still sitting at the same spot as she said she would. Mariko looked in the direction that Haruna was looking in to find her starring at Yuko.
Mariko’s smile froze.
She didn’t know if Haruna realized this, but this was not the first she had caught Haruna starring at Yuko since they had gotten together.
The look that was on Haruna’s face made Mariko’s heart ached.
Haruna had never looked at her like the way she looked at Yuko.
Maybe it was too soon.
Maybe she just needed to give Haruna more time.
Just maybe…
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Love is about pretending…
Yuko bounced into the dressing room.
“Look what I found in the vending machine! They have released a new flavour of juice!” She announced excitedly.
“Really?” Sae exclaimed. “I’ve got to get one as well!”
“Come, I’ll show you!”
Yuko and Sae left the room together excitedly.
Minami watched the door closed and shook her head. “She is such a child.”
Atsuko laughed. “That’s Yuko.”
“Don’t you think it’s just an act?” A voice interrupted softly.
Haruna, Minami and Atsuko looked up to see Mii-chan glancing at them with an unreadable expression on her face.
“Since Haruna had broken up with her, she had been trying too hard. It’s almost like she was happy all the time.”
The three girls remained quiet.
Minami and Atsuko looked uncertainly at Haruna. Haruna avoided their glances and looked down at the table.
Just then, a staff member walked into the room to announce the start of rehearsal. The girls gathered their belongings and walked out.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Love is confusing…
Haruna sat alone on the couch of the dressing room and looked out the window at the blue sky. There were no clouds in the sky. It was a peaceful, sunny day which was a contrast to her current emotions.
So many thoughts were running through in her head. She felt so lost, so alone.
Suddenly, the door opened and Minami walked into the room
Minami sat down next to Haruna. “Hey.”
Haruna did not answer, just nodded her once in acknowledgement.
“Are you okay?” Minami asked.
Haruna nodded softly and looked down at the ground.
“Why did you break up with Yuko?” Minami asked gently.
Haruna looked up, startled by Minami’s sudden question.
“It’s okay; you don’t have to tell me the reason.” Minami smiled. “But have you ever shared your feelings with Yuko?”
Haruna looked away from Minami and shook her head.
“Whether you want to admit it or not, you still care a lot about Yuko. I have seen you watching her. When she walked into the room, your eyes would follow her unintentionally.”
Haruna remained quiet as Minami continued.
“You are not only hurting yourself, but Mariko and Yuko too. Be honest with yourself, Haruna. Listen to your heart.”
Haruna looked lost in thought as she thought about Minami’s words.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Love is about forgiving…
“Mariko, I’m so sorry.”
Haruna bowed her head deeply. She knew that it would not be easy, but she never imagined it would be this difficult.
“I thought if I give you more time, you would forget about her.” Mariko looked at Haruna sadly. “I thought I could replace her, but I can see now that is impossible. Nobody could ever replace Yuko in your heart.”
“Mariko…”
“It’s okay. I’ve seen the way you look at her. You still love her.” Mariko shook her head. “No, you never stopped loving her.”
Haruna remained silent.
“It will take some time, but I will get over this. You are still my friend, Haruna. And even though it feels weird for me to say this right now, I hope that you will be happy with Yuko.”
“Thank you, Mariko.”
Haruna hugged Mariko tightly. She felt relieved that despite everything, Mariko still considered her as a friend.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Love is about taking a chance…
Haruna didn’t know what she had done in her past life to deserve this fate. AKB48 was flying to Hawaii for a special photo shoot and she was sitting between Mariko and Yuko in a very tight space on a 7-hour flight.
It had been 2 weeks since she had broken up with Mariko and their friendship was slowly getting back to the way it was before they started going out.
It was a completely different story with Yuko, however.
Haruna still could not find the courage to talk to Yuko yet. She knew that she was stalling, but she just didn’t know how to approach the topic with Yuko.
Haruna sighed and looked over at Yuko who was sleeping next to her.
“Have you talked to Yuko yet?” Mariko spoke up softly.
Haruna turned to face Mariko and shook her head. “I… I don’t know what to say. I don’t know if Yuko will forgive me for hurting her.”
Mariko reached for Haruna’s hand and gave it a soft squeeze. “Just be honest and say what’s in your heart. Yuko loves you. She will forgive you.”
“Thanks, Mariko.”
“Both of you are my good friends. I want you to be happy.”
“Mariko, I’m glad to have you as my friend.”
Mariko laughed softly. “Just talk to Yuko, okay?”
Haruna looked at the sleeping Yuko and nodded.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Love is about courage…
After dropping off her bags in her hotel room, Haruna quickly left her room again and went over to the room that Yuko was sharing with Sae. Haruna took a deep breath, and knocked softly on the door. After a moment, the door opened and Haruna came face to face with Sae.
“Hey, Kojiharu.”
“Sae-chan,” Haruna said nervously. “Is… Yuko here?”
Sae shook his head. “Yuko went for a walk.”
“Oh.” Haruna could not hide the disappointment in her voice, and looked down at the floor.
“If you are looking for her, I think she went to the beach.”
Haruna looked up at Sae in surprise. “Um, thanks, Sae-chan.”
Haruna turned around and walked back towards the elevator when she heard Sae calling her name.
“Kojiharu!”
Sae smiled and gave Haruna the thumbs up. “Good luck.”
Haruna nodded and walked quickly towards the elevator. She got to the lobby and walked towards the path that would lead to the beach. She stood on the platform that overlooked the beach and scanned the surroundings. After a moment, she saw Yuko standing in the distance, looking out at the ocean.
Yuko had her hands in the pocket of the sweater that she was wearing, looking deep in thought. With her hair waving in the wind, she looked mesmerizing. It took Haruna’s breath away.
Haruna smiled as she looked at Yuko. She knew what she wanted now.
She walked down the stairs and approached Yuko slowly.
“Yuko.”
“Haruna.” Yuko turned around and was surprised to see Haruna standing there.
“Hey.”
“You came out for a walk?”
Haruna shook his head. “I was looking for you. I want to talk to you.”
“What’s wrong?” Yuko started to ask but then realized it reminded her of another conversation she had with Haruna a few months ago. “Oh wow, that sounds very familiar.”
Yuko chuckled nervously.
“I’m sorry. I never gave you a reason for breaking up with you.”
“You don’t have to say sorry.” Yuko shook her head. “I told you when we began that anytime you want to break it off, you can just tell me.”
“Why Yuko? You didn’t even ask me for a reason.”
“Because your happiness matters most to me.”
“What about your happiness?”
Yuko took a deep breath. “I can’t force you to love me, Nyan Nyan. And if you really don’t feel anything for me, you shouldn’t push yourself to.”
Yuko turned to look back at the ocean again. Suddenly, Haruna wrapped her arms around Yuko from behind.
“You’re wrong.” Haruna whispered into Yuko’s ear. “It’s not that I don’t love you enough, it’s that I love you too much. And it scared me.”
Yuko felt it was hard to think straight when Haruna was in such close proximity. It had been awhile since she was this close to Haruna.
“What are you talking about?”
“You were always so open with your affections, and I didn’t know how to respond.”
“I was asking too much of you.” Yuko whispered. “You felt like I was pressuring you.”
“NO! That’s not it at all.”
Haruna closed her eyes and tried to sort out her thoughts. “The feelings that I have for you were so real and so intense that I got scared. So, I pretended that I didn’t love you and that I didn’t care. And I thought that if I was with Mariko, then I could forget about you. But Takamina was right. I was only fooling myself. No matter what I did, I could not forget you.”
Tears were rolling down Haruna’s face but she made no effort to wipe them away. “I hurt you, and I ended up hurting Mariko too in the process.”
Haruna released her hands as Yuko turned around.
“I’ve already talked to Mariko to break things off with her. We are just friends now.” Haruna took a deep breath before continuing. “Yuko, can you forgive me?”
“Haruna, I’m not as strong as I look. I don’t know if my heart can handle it if you leave me again.”
Haruna wiped the tears away from Yuko’s cheek. “Please Yuko, if you give me another chance, I will love you the way you deserved to be loved.”
Haruna waited for a reply from Yuko, but Yuko remained silent. Haruna could tell that Yuko was struggling with her emotions, but she was not going to push Yuko. Haruna was going give Yuko the time to decide.
After what seemed like an eternity to Haruna, Yuko drew Haruna into her arms and embraced her tightly.
“Nyan Nyan, let’s give this another shot.”
Haruna nodded and closed her eyes, feeling thankful for getting the second chance she didn’t think that she deserved.
The two of them stood on the beach and held on to each like there’s no tomorrow.
Love is about forgetting and starting over again…
End