I'll just say this..
For me, and in my experience, its always been best to just keep it about the music and the women. Getting wrapped up in the fandom and reading articles and reactions... it's just a bad look. The amount of zealotry and anxiety when it comes to kpop is really just too much for me... too much passion if that makes any sense. If I had any one message for the fans of kpop at large it would probably be something like, "take a step back, take a deep breath, and calm the fuck down."
Every single event, every mistake, every little... thing is put under the microscope and magnified to the extreme. It's exhausting, really. It's just "controversy" after "controversy" and then it's off to the comment boards and youtube channels and this and that to pick up the battle standards for more he said/she said bullshit and, frankly, it's embarrassing.
Kpop is NOT serious business. It's not. Now don't misunderstand me, I love it. I love T-ara and I love kpop. But when I hear about people 'rallying' to get a .gif down from fiddle's website I can't understand that. When I hear about fan entitlement because they did x,y, and z for them and now want special treatment I can't understand that. When something like music pits man against man, I'll never understand that.