@RenshuChan: i'm not sure if sakiko really meant it the positive way though.. we'll see
@wmatsui fanfic.: haha i didn't know my reader's a saddist but yeah you'll have it more
@yuuri14: i heard about matsui sakiko's graduation and as a pianist myself, i really do admire her talent. i'm looking forward to see her as a world class pianist someday
@Raizel: sugoi~ you paid attention to the details about mayu's hospital job! though i won't be naming the patient here... but i'm really impressed! tehee~
@blackcold: rena's mom is about to appear again soon
@kuro_black29: yeah, the drama is soon to be here.. i spent few chapters for the characters' development first.. i waited so long
@sastio13: same here, i was shocked to hear the news about rena's graduation. but she do has talent in acting, i remember how she nailed her role as gekikara in majisuka gakuen, and i'll definitely continue to support her on her new journey as an actress
The Forbidden DanceChapter 12I opened my eyes. The room went brighter. Ah, it's morning already. I sat up on my bed and noticed that Jurina-san's things which she used yesterday were placed on her bed. I didn't expect that she'll be back so early. But where is she? I wanted to see her already but she's not here in our room.
I immediately fixed myself before I came down the hotel. And then I proceed to our group's dance rehearsal venue. I saw Jurina-san there already warming up on her own. Akane-san & Airi-san arrived after me.
"Jurina-chan! Ohayou~" Akane-san greeted her. "You're early!"
Jurina-san turned around.
"Minna... Ohayou." She greeted us with a smile on her face.
"So much energy this morning, ne? I bet you've been fully recharged last night. Tehee~" Akane-san teased.
I observed her reaction and it was just normal. She actually looked like she didn't have enough sleep last night. She saw me looking at her. I faced away and tried not to think of things.
"Just started to warm up myself for today." She stretched her arms. "This is our last practice so I have to give all my best."
She's not telling anything about her meeting with Mayu-san. Was she trying to avoid the topic?
"By the way, Juritan. If you're here early then you might have noticed Sensei around?" Airi-san asked. "I was knocking her room earlier but no one's answering."
"No, I haven't seen her yet. I've been all alone since I came here." Jurina-san answered.
Airi-san faced me and I knew she was about to ask me next, but she stopped herself. But even if she asks me, I also don't know where Oneesama went.
"Well, I guess we should start our final practice now even without her." She decided.
We spent the whole day practicing our dance finale. Everyone seems so focused especially Jurina-san. Her dance moves are flawless as usual. She's so serious about it that she can't even manage to waste time. I didn't see her rest herself a single second.
As for me, I can say that I was finally able to catch up with them. My dance moves were slowly polished as I went through a series of trainings with the group. They never made me feel that I'm neglected. They've always been there to support me and treated me as one of them. I won't ever regret joining this wonderful group. I enjoy every second I spend with them.
Everyone is aiming to perfect our dance to win tomorrow's championship. I can't help but think that Jurina-san's exerting her best effort all because of Mayu-san. And so I asked myself, to whom do I do this for?
"That's all for today." Airi-san said as we finished our last dance step.
"Eh~ Enough already?" Jurina-san complained gasping for air. "Let's practice some more, Airin."
"We also need to rest, Juritan." Airi-san told her. "We all have to be in good condition for tomorrow."
"Maybe she only wanted to make sure that she won't mess up infront of her precious senpai tomorrow. Right, Jurina-chan?" Akane-san teased her again.
It took a long silence before Jurina-san responded.
"She's not coming." She answered.
All of us were surprised of what we just heard.
"Not coming? What do you mean she's not coming?" Akane-san's voice went high.
"Airin, you're right. Maybe we should already take some rest." Jurina-san calmly said before she started to walk away.
"So, what now? You mean, we came all the way here for nothing?" Akane-san shouted at her.
"Churi, stop." Airi-san grabbed her arm. "Just let her. I already sensed that something is odd with her today."
I only watched Jurina-san's back as she leaves the place. I think I now understand. She intended to focus herself practicing only to keep her mind occupied.
"Rena-chan, what's going on? Did they have a fight or something?" Akane-san immediately asked me.
"She and Mayu-san seems in good terms last night before I left them." I answered honestly.
Then, Akane-san hurriedly grabbed her things with her.
"Churi! Where do you think you're going?" Airi-san stopped her.
"If no one will give me answers then I'll go directly to Watanabe-san and ask her myself." She said irritatedly.
"Are you insane? You're not going anywhere. That's their own problem!" Airi-san yelled at her. "And besides, you haven't finished studying all your lessons yet."
"Who are you?? My mother?! Arrrghhh... Whatever!!!" Akane-san ranaway pissed.
Airi-san and I were the only ones left in the place.
"So, you don't have an idea on what really happened between them?" Airi-san spoke to me. "I was actually about to congratulate you for a job well done, you know?"
"But I didn't do anythi-..."
"I know." She cuts me off. "I was only teasing you. And don't worry about Churi. I know her, she always listens to me. She's just mad because she's concern about Juritan."
The way how Akane-san reacted only shows that she is a real friend. She'll hate me someday. That's what I thought.
"Where's your Oneesama?" Airi-san finally asked me. "The last time I saw her was when the two of you went back the hotel together last night."
"I'm already expecting you to ask me that. But honestly, I don't know where she is." I answered straight.
"She didn't even say goodbye to her little sister? I see. You seem not so close to each other as I imagined."
"What do you mean?"
"I asked the receptionists earlier about her and they confirmed that she already checked out the hotel. I think she's not planning to come back anymore."
Oneesama already left? But why? Wasn't she going to watch us tomorrow on our championship event? Something is not right here.
I caught Airi-san staring at me. Maybe she noticed that I'm worrying.
"Rena-san..." She called my name. "It's hard to keep everything to yourself, isn't it?"
I looked back at her and our eyes met once again.
"I was just saying that everything has a limit." She then said to me.
Sometimes, it's really hard to understand what Airi-san is trying to say. It's like she's telling me to read between the lines.
"So, what are you still doing here?" She suddenly asked.
"Eh?"
"Go after Juritan." She continued. "I know she badly needs someone now. And if there's one person who'd make her feel better again, it has to be you."
I don't know what I should feel upon hearing those words from Airi-san. Why does she entrust her friend to someone like me? She trusts me more than I trust myself. And I'm not sure if I deserve it.
-
I went back to our hotel room and opened the door. Jurina-san was there, sitting on her bed, staring blankly on the floor. I entered inside and quietly sat next to her.
"Mayu-chan said we're nothing alike." She spoke. "She can't even imagine how I had a princess-like sister."
Jurina-san laughed. She's obviously trying to show that she's fine.
"I broke up with her."
I instantly looked at her in surprise. What did she just say?
"I realized it's the best thing for us after we talked last night."
I can't understand. How can she easily say it out like it was nothing to her? I'm speechless. I don't know what I should say.
"She wanted to become a doctor." She speaks again.
"She met a patient in the hospital where she works part-time who she became so close with. Then one day, she painfully watched that patient slowly dying infront of her. She felt so desperate and helpless that she couldn't do anything to save her life."
Jurina-san took a deep breathe and then went on talking.
"That incident changed the way how she see life. And from that moment, she already knew what she really wanted."
I didn't utter a single word. I only stare at her while listening to what she's saying.
"Mayu-chan showed me an invitation letter from a medical university. I read what's written on it. And it said that she passed their entrance exam." Jurina-san then said smiling. "I'm proud of her! She's really a smart person, isn't she? There's no suprising about that."
She kept on showing me that painful smile on her face. I hate how Jurina-san fake her smile infront of me.
"Mayu-chan apologized to me. She said she's been trying to tell me about it, but she doesn't know how and when without hurting my feelings." Jurina-san continued. "She then later told me I shouldn't depend my own life decisions on her."
Jurina-san's voice becoming shaky. I'm worried, I don't want to hear her like this.
"I don't know what I should feel when Mayu-chan said that. I was being eaten up with mixed emotions. I feel happy for her, but at the same time, I also feel like my world is slowly falling apart."
Little by little, Jurina-san started to open up her feelings by describing me how she really felt.
"I don't hate her. I never did and I never will. Mayu-chan is right. Maybe it's time that I should stop following her around like a lost puppy. I've been blind with my own selfishness. I realized it was only me who build our so-called dream. I never asked her what she truly wanted."
She paused.
"And how can I possibly hate her when her eyes clearIy shows that she already found what will make her happy? I saw her determination and how she badly wanted it for herself. Who am I to hold her back?"
I have a feeling that Jurina-san's about to break anytime now. I kept quiet observing her.
"I told her I'm setting her free. Mayu-chan never intended to end our relationship, it's me who insisted. I said things are better off that way. Tell me, I only did the right thing, right?"
Was she really asking me or she's just trying to convince herself? How can I possibly know the answer?
"Mayu-chan has been my only direction in life. I'm scared, I can't see my future anymore. I wonder what I shall do from now on....."
After those words, heavy teardrops started to flow down from Jurina-san's eyes.
"Hahaha, I'm sorry... it's not stopping..." She laughed hard.
This the first time I saw her cry and hurt like this. I knew Jurina-san's suffering from pain but she's trying to be strong by holding back her tears.
"Ah, stupid tears..." She's smiling and kept on rubbing her eyes to wipe them off.
I can't believe that there is more painful than I previously felt. I thought I already knew how it feels like to see someone I love cry infront of me. But this is different from Okaasama's struggles. Words aren't enough to explain this pain I'm feeling for Jurina-san now. It hurts so bad that it felt like it would tear me apart.
"Mayu-chan's right, I'm such a crybaby..." She laughed again.
Please... Enough saying her name already! Forgive me, Jurina-san. I cannot control myself anymore. For this moment, I want you to share me your pain. Only for this moment, let me love you.
Without thinking twice, I reached for her and immediately locked my arms around her. I gently put her head near my chest and tightly hugged her without saying any word.
"R-Rena-chan!!!" She finally breaks out.
The cheerful Jurina-san was gone. She grabbed my shirt and started to cry harder.
"I love her!!! I really do that it hurts way too much..."
She finally cried out the pain she's been keeping inside. I can feel and hear her breathing becoming heavier and heavier. I looked up and suddenly felt warm tears flow my cheeks.
My own tears.
I don't want Jurina-san see me crying for her. I don't want her to know that it's me who's hurting more.
We stayed like that for I don't know how long. She never heard me speak. But I hope my feelings reached her, for I failed to find the words to make her feel better.
-
It took long before she finally calms down. We laid next to each other flatly on her bed, both of us facing upwards.
"Do you think Churi's still mad at me?" Jurina-san asked staring the room ceiling.
Her voice went a bit husky. But I can tell that she's somehow okay now.
"Akane-san was only concern about you. That's what Airi-san told me." I answered.
"Churi's probably the one most disappointed. Right from the start, she'd given me her support on my relationship with Mayu-chan."
"I know Akane-san will understand. You're important to her. She even once told me that she's been your fan."
"I know!" Jurina-san giggled. "That's why she's been treasuring that old newspaper with an article written about me."
"Oh, which reminds me..." I said out thinking.
"Hmm?"
"Was the newspaper Akane-san showed me before also the one Mayu-san mentioned about you helping a pretty senpai?"
"Ah, you figured it out." She answered. "It's true, I was a freshman back then. That senpai was really a beauty. I heard she went to Paris to become a model. But why do you ask?"
"I'm only curious..." I hesitantly said. "Was that mean that you prefer girls?"
"Haha~ I'm not sure!" She laughed. "You see, Mayu-chan was the only person I ever loved. She just happened to be a girl. Who knows what will be my next preference."
"Boys, you mean?" I faced her side asking.
"Possible... or maybe... a family member will do..."
She also turned herself to my direction and stared at me.
"Rena-chan is beautiful, smart, and kind. It's not hard for people to fall for you." She went closer and whispered. "And maybe... if we're not real sisters... I'd probably be one of them."
I immediately faced away. I thought my heart skipped a beat. I hope she can't hear the loud sound of my chest pounding.
"Hahaha~ I'm just teasing you!" She laughed. "Say, Rena-chan... If you like someone... let me know, okay? So, that I can immediately take a deep background check on that person. I can't afford to just let someone hurt my sister!"
I softly laughed. She has no idea that she already did and that she's actually talking about herself.
"Eh? Why are you laughing?" She pouted. "I'm serious!"
"Nothing." I giggled. "I didn't know you could be a little over-protective..."
The tears were then turned into laughter. The atmosphere now is a lot better than earlier. We spent the rest of the night talking only about good things. We almost didn't notice how much time has passed.
"Rena-chan, what time is it?" Jurina-san asked.
"It's past 12 in the midnight." I answered looking at the clock.
I realized that we haven't eat anything yet since lunch. But I don't feel hungry at all. Maybe, it's because my stomach is full of butterflies right now.
"Only few hours to go before the championship begins." She said. "Let's do our best!"
I smiled and nodded.
"Rena-chan..." She called me again.
"Hmm?"
"Thank you."
"For what?" I looked at her.
"For being there for me." She looked back.
Her eyes were so sincere, by gazing at them I felt like I was about to melt.
"Can you promise me one thing?" She asked.
"What is it?"
"That no matter what happens, we will never leave each other's side." She raised her smallest finger. "Pinky swear?"
I reached for her little finger and hooked it with mine.
"Pinky swear." I sealed with a smile.
After that, we both fell asleep together with our little fingers entwined to each other.
-
*Phone vibrating*
I was then awaken by a phone call. Someone's calling my number. I carefully reached for my phone without disturbing Jurina-san beside me. Without a sound, I stood up and left her bed to answer the call.
"Rena..." A familiar voice has spoken.
Oneesama?
"Someone wants to talk to you." She said right after.
Before I could say a word, she immediately transferred the call to another person.
"Otsukare... Rena." Another familiar voice called my name.
"O-Okaasama!" I was surprised. I didn't expect to hear from her.
"Your mission is now done." She continued.
What does she mean?
"B-But I haven't..." I tried to protest.
"Listen to me carefully, Rena." She cuts me off. "I want you to do exactly as I tell you."
My mind went blank and my body shivers as they both reject every word trying to penetrate me. Things suddenly flashed back, like the reason why I'm here and who I really am. I hang up the phone after my mother gave me her instructions.
I went back beside Jurina-san and quietly watch her peacefully sleeping.
This is my punishment.
If we're not born this way, things might have been different for us. But everything is too late now. Nothing can be changed.
つづくthis will be rena's last pov for now
ch 13 is next! the first half of the story is about to end
thanks for reading!