Chapter 16
I woke up an hour and a half later to my alarm clock. I raised my head feeling like I had been dead and was being revived slowly, the knife being pulled out of my gut rather than being pushed in. Aya didn't stir as I hit the snooze button and let my head fall back onto my pillow. Ten minutes later, my clock rang again, and I got up, muttering rude things about the alarm and its maker.
Aya remained dead, rolled on her side and facing away from me. My hands hovered over her ribs for a few seconds as I considered shocking her awake, but I remembered that she hadn't even slept two hours yet. I backed away slowly, grabbed the clothes and things I would need, and left the room, closing the door gently. I got ready quietly in the living room, and then as a second though, I wrote a note saying good morning and reminding her innocently to pick up her clothes from the floor because I certainly wasn't going to do it for her.
I had to go into U-Con early. At lunch break I would come back here to eat quickly and then go to 7-Eleven to do a long afternoon and evening shift. Aya had something to do in the evening, and I might possibly not see her until the next day.
I opened the door to the bedroom quietly and crept in. Aya was still facing away. I studied her carefully. She was absolutely still. Too still. Her torso wasn't moving at all like it should have been if she'd been alive. I was suddenly gripped with an icy fear. Was she even alive? What if something had happened overnight and she'd stopped breathing while in her sleep? Did I have enough time to save her?
Nervously, I put a hand on her back, and my legs weakened in relief when I felt a slow, steady beat.
"Don't scare me like that," I scolded her softly.
She made no effort to reply. Of course not. She was asleep.
I sat there for a few minutes, my hand on her back, watching her still body, waiting for it to move the slightest bit. It didn't, and I shook my head in wonder. Was this what I acted like when I was asleep? Everyone told me I slept like a log. Or at least I was stone still when I wasn't flailing about and having conversations with myself or fighting battles against particles in the air.
I checked my watch and saw that it was time to go. Before that, I reset the alarm clock for nine. That would leave Aya an hour and a half to get ready for her meeting. For a few weeks in a row now we'd sat down on Sunday evening and talked about our schedules just so that we'd know when the other was going to be around. It was a good idea. This way we didn't have to keep asking each other questions like "What time do you have to wake up?" or "Will you be home tonight?"
Placing the alarm clock just out of arm's reach so that she'd be forced to get up to turn it off, I took a last look at the pink pyjama-clad girl and left after I'd committed the scene to memory.
I overslept on the train, waking up just as the doors were closing at my stop. I had to double back, which meant once I got back to the proper station, I had to run all the way to the building so that I would be on time. I rode the elevator up to my floor and walked out calmly to see Tsuyoshi with his head down on his desk. He wasn't moving. Was it Day of the Dead? First Aya. Now Tsuyoshi.
"Guchi!" I snapped at him, approaching the desk.
I heard him emit a low sound of acknowledgement.
"What's the matter with you?" I demanded.
He lifted his head up and looked at me with bloodshot eyes, making me take a step back.
"What in the..."
"I'm dead," he groaned
I peered into his eyes carefully. They were completely red and they swam in his sockets, not focusing on one thing. I looked at his cheeks, and they, too, were the colour of a tomato. His hair looked windblown, and his clothes were dishevelled. I began to form a picture in my mind of what had happened.
"Let me guess," I started, taking off my jacket and sitting in the chair beside him. "You went out partying last night, missed your train home, maybe did some late night karaoke with the rest of your chums, and then spent the last few hours before trains re-opened at a love hotel with some girl whose name you don't know."
He shook his head, swallowed hard, and then gripped my wrist weakly.
"There was no love hotel," he wheezed out.
"Oh," I laughed. "So you guys just did it in a parking lot?"
He tightened his hold on my wrist.
"There was no girl."
I gave him a sceptical look just to annoy him, but I had no reason not to believe him.
"We stayed up drinking until I caught a train home in the morning to change and then rush over here."
"So you're still drunk?" I asked amusedly.
He nodded.
"But I feel sick..."
I removed his hand from my wrist and moved away from him.
"Just warn me if you're about to purge your entire system of all that alcohol. I'll get out of your way."
He went stark white, and I wondered if he felt sick because he was imagining the future I'd predicted for him or because that future had come.
The latter.
He bolted out of his chair and raced to the washroom as I winced. I'd go and check on him in a few minutes. There was nothing I could do for him at the moment.
I settled into my space and then took a trip out to the vending machines in the hallway. I bought a couple of bottles of water and brought them back with me, opening one and drinking a quarter of it. Ten minutes had passed and Tsuyoshi had still not emerged from the washroom. I grabbed one of the bottles and headed over to the men's washroom, knocking loudly.
"Guchi!" I called out. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," came the delayed, weak response. "Dandy."
I rolled my eyes.
"I'm coming in," I announced, waiting for a count of three and then pushing the door open.
Tsuyoshi was sitting and leaning against a wall, his knees pulled up to his chest. He looked up at me when I walked in and tried to get up.
"Don't stand up. Here," I said, handing him the bottle.
He took it with a grateful look and took a sip, almost gagging as he swallowed.
I wanted to lecture him about the idiocy of drinking until five in the morning on a work day, but I was sure it was the last thing he wanted to hear. He could tell he'd made a big mistake.
"What did you drink?" I asked.
"Beer, shochu, wine," he mumbled pathetically.
I clucked my tongue at him, but said nothing about his mistake of mixing his alcohols.
"Will you be okay?"
He nodded.
"I think I got rid of most of it," he said with a grimace.
"Good. Now wash up and come back to the desk. I'm missing out on my Guchi time."
I started to walk out.
"Hey, Miki-chan," he called out.
It had taken a lot of work to get him to start calling me that, but I'd finally prevailed recently.
"Thank you for helping me."
He gave me a happy look that made me groan.
"Don't you start falling in love with me or something," I threatened him, and he grinned shyly.
"Ew, with you? No way."
"What do you mean 'ew'?!" I demanded angrily. "Ew?! Do I inspire 'ew' in people?"
Little boyish (and still slightly drunk) Tsuyoshi giggled.
"No. I was just kidding."
"Good. But I wasn't. Don't you dare get some stupid crush on me."
With that, I turned on my heels and stalked out of the men's washroom while smiling secretly to myself.
Katherine happened to be walking by when I stepped out, and she stopped, looking up at the "men's toilet" sign and then at me, raising an eyebrow and pulling one of her oh-so-Western expressions.
"Umm..." I said.
"I won't ask," she said.
"Tsuyoshi-kun's in there," I told her, which made her other eyebrow go up to join the first one.
"Okay, now I have to ask," she said with a naughty grin.
"Oh, but, no!" I said quickly to destroy any incorrect assumptions in her mind. "He's not feeling well."
"Whatever. A woman following a boy into the men's washroom whether he's sick or not is a sign of something."
"No. I mean, he's really sick. I was just making sure he was alive."
Damnit, Katherine.
"Be careful, sweetie. He's six years younger than you. Just remember that when you're ready for marriage and he's still out partying until all hours of the morning."
"Oh, for heaven's sake!" I cried out. "The guy is like the family puppy. I wouldn't look at him like that in a million years!"
Katherine smirked.
"I know, but I like seeing you get all incensed. It's fun. I'll catch up with you later."
With a jaunty wave, she continued going wherever she was headed.
Aya, Kuniko, Tsuyoshi, Katherine... My "friends" all had at least one thing in common - they all liked to piss me off on purpose. Did I attract that kind of person around me? Or was it just that Tokyo only had either friendly people who liked to bug me or complete jerks like Hasegawa and Ohashi? I went back to my desk pondering this question.
Tsuyoshi joined me a few minutes later, and I kept him distracted with chitchat, asking him nosey questions about his life and his family. At ten-thirty, I received a message on my phone. I thought it was Aya at first, but it turned out to be Katherine.
If you have time, can you come down here for a few minutes?
I made sure Tsuyoshi would be all right by himself, and I skipped down to the dance studio.
"What's up?" I asked, walking into the large practice room Katherine was sitting in.
She was fiddling with a stereo, searching through tracks on a CD. When she saw me, she stopped and picked up a pile of clothes beside her, tossing it to me. I caught it reflexively, confused.
"Change into that and give me twenty minutes of your time."
It was an order. Not a request. I looked around for a change room of some sort, but I saw none.
"Miki, it's just me in here," she pointed out. "Get changed quickly."
I shrugged coolly and got changed in the middle of the room while Katherine continued to search through her CD. She finally settled on a track and a vaguely familiar song started playing as I walked up to her.
"Over there," she said, pointing to the centre of the room.
I followed her instructions. I guess this was my test. Would I fare better than Tsuyoshi? Katherine turned the volume up and I frowned. Why the hell was she playing a Morning Musume song? Out of all the music out there, she had to choose that? She couldn't have known I'd wanted to audition to join the silly group that was now defunct. She also couldn't have known that I knew Aya, someone very much connected to that group.
"Dance," she commanded me.
I stood there awkwardly.
"Um..." I mumbled. "I don't know this dance. Or this song, really."
"You don't?" she asked.
"No," I laughed, gaining confidence. "I might have seen the promo video once five or six years ago."
"For some reason I thought you'd be able to pick up on this one," she said, turning the volume down. "What do you know?"
I shrugged.
"I don't know. Nobody's ever taught me a dance before."
She looked at me in an exasperated way.
"Don't you even know one of those stupid and catchy boyband dances? And please don't tell anyone I called them stupid."
I shrugged again.
"No."
Why was she assuming I had been trained before or that I memorised dances?
She sighed and changed the track to something I couldn't recognise, standing up and coming to stand in front of me.
"Then we've got to get you familiar with something. Follow me."
And so for the next thirty minutes, Katherine taught me a dance. We repeated everything over and over again, and I was grateful that I was wearing different clothes. I began to sweat like a horse. When half an hour was up, Katherine went to sit down, which I assumed meant it was break time. I followed her, but she turned around and pointed to the centre of the room.
"No. You're going to do it on your own now."
I sulked for a second, but turned around obediently and went to the centre of the room while Katherine sat down and started the music. She counted me in, and I did what I had learned to the best of my ability. I messed up a few times, but overall, I got all the steps. I finished the short little excerpt and gave Katherine a look as she stopped the music.
"So?" I asked her, waiting for her evaluation.
"Not bad," she said honestly, standing up. "Your rhythm went a little off in some parts. You tend to rush. Mmm. But in general, you're smooth."
"Better than Tsuyoshi-kun?" I asked.
She laughed.
"Much better than the family puppy."
I smiled in relief. I had passed.
"What would-" I started, but I was interrupted by a holler from the door.
"Fujimoto!" barked my boss. "What are you doing down here?! Tsuyoshi-kun is dying up there alone answering phones."
"I'm on my way, sir!" I cried out, rushing past him and back upstairs, completely forgetting to change my clothes.
Five minutes later, Katherine came upstairs, putting my clothes down on the desk in front of me as I was on the phone. I mouthed an embarrassed "thank you" and changed as soon as the phone call was done.
Tsuyoshi and I kept busy all morning. He went through phases where he felt perfect and then phrases where he felt crummy. When I noticed him getting a little green, I'd distract him with conversation. Lunch time rolled around. Tsuyoshi was on a full day shift, so I said goodbye and told him to call me if he felt sick.
"I'll be working, too, but I'll keep you distracted with my brilliant conversation on the phone."
"Miki-chan," he whined. "Can't you give me, like, one of your friends' numbers? Don't you know anybody you can introduce me to?"
"What, I'm not good enough?" I glared at him.
"I want to date a real girl," he retorted.
My jaw dropped in horror, and I was about to hit him when I realised that doing so would not be very girlish and thus back up his statement. I stuck my nose up in the air.
"See you later, runt."
I walked out, blocking out his protests. Either I had to get a new set of friends or I had to move back to Hokkaido.
The afternoon was a little more low-key. Nothing memorable happened except that I got an e-mail from Aya saying hi and thanks for setting the alarm that morning.
I worked with Shiroshita until four-thirty, and then with Asato, our store's baby at sixteen years old. Her school had allowed her to get a part time job in order to supplement her family's low income. She was a sweet and bright girl who inspired protective feelings in most of us at that store. Working with her was pleasant because she didn't talk back, and she didn't like seeing me get riled up. We didn't have a whole lot in common, but our conversations weren't riddled with awkward pauses.
Asato and I were supposed to finish our shifts at nine-thirty that evening. At a quarter past nine, the first of our replacements arrived. A minute after him, the second of our replacements arrived. It was Kuniko. When she saw me, she waved and then quickly went to get changed in the back. She came back out and walked over to me. I was fixing up some products on a messy shelf.
"Hi," she said.
"Hi. Late night shift, huh?" I asked, wondering if our conversation was really going to be as awkward as it was shaping up to be.
"Only until one-thirty. Koda-kun's coming to replace me."
"I see."
With business taken care of, there was nothing to do but either talk about something else or say goodbye. Kuniko made no sign of moving off, so I took a deep breath.
"Can we just forget yesterday ever happened?" I asked.
"Why should we? I mean, it was just an accident. And hey, now I know. You're spared the work of having to tell me."
It was perhaps the most mature thing she'd ever said to me. I looked up at the ceiling and let out a few quiet laughs.
"Do you still want to come over?"
"Sure. As long as you two aren't all icky and stuff. I can't stand people like that."
I let out a jubilant cheer.
"Finally! Something we agree on!"
Asato looked over at us, wondering what we were talking about. Kuniko opened her big mouth to quell the young girl's curiosity.
"She's just excited because she totally scored last night with this cool foreign guy who-"
I grabbed Kuniko and covered her mouth my hand.
"And she's just a big liar!" I called out to Asato, who gave us a worried look and quickly bent her head down to study the counter.
I let go of Kuniko.
"You're such a brat," I sneered at her.
"Anyway, when can I come over?" she asked, ignoring my insults.
I sighed.
Kuniko will always be Kuniko. There's nothing about me that could make her not act this way around me.
"I'll let you know when Aya-chan's free. Now do you understand why I kept saying she's really busy?"
Kuniko nodded heartily.
"Yeah, sorry about that before. I thought you were exaggerating. But I know that idols have it rough. I had a friend whose sister's cousin went out with a guy who knew Koda Kumi's sister."
As if that had anything to do with understanding an idol's life!
"Kuni-chan, that has nothing to do with-"
"And then I looked the word 'gullible' up in the dictionary and I saw a picture of you beside it."
I pushed her away from me and started to walk to the back room. Aya was going to be home late and I was hungry. I would cook something and then save her the leftovers. If she'd had a bad day, at least that would cheer her up.
"Since you're here, take over for me. I'm leaving a few minutes early," I announced.
"Oh, why? Your precious Aya-chan's waiting for you?" Kuniko teased me.
"As a matter of fact, she's not," I huffed out.
"Then I'm sure you're going to go and cook a wonderful meal for her when she gets home all exhausted."
My shoulders stiffened and I refused to look back.
"No," I lied. "I'm not."
"Whatever you say. Have a nice night."
I could hear her voice dripping with suggestion. I wanted to yell at her some more, but Asato was around, and I didn't want to give her the impression that I was a scary person. I went to the back, changed out of my shirt, and grabbed my things. Asato looked at me and then at her watch when she saw me leaving.
"Kuni-chan here offered to give me five minutes of time absolutely free," I said, winking at Kuniko.
"I didn't. And don't you dare follow Fujimocchan's example. She's a delinquent. You're a good kid, Asato-chan," Kuniko butted in.
"Bye-bye, girls!" I said, not paying attention to her words and waving.
Asato returned the wave shakily, wondering who to side with. Kuniko harrumphed and crossed her arms, but there was a certain softness in her eyes that assured me that she was enjoying herself. I didn't know how she'd managed to transform her behaviour from shocked silence to brazen teasing over the course of twenty-four hours. I walked out of the store telling myself that it was only a matter of time until Asato started treating me the way all my friends did.
I went to Aya's, cooked, ate, bathed, and tried to stay up as long as possible. It was midnight and she hadn't come back yet, so I gave up waiting and went to bed, falling asleep quite quickly.
I woke up in the pitch black of the night and felt warm. Something besides a blanket was wrapped around me. Arms. I turned my head and saw Aya sleeping right up against me. I looked over at the clock. Three in the morning. I smiled and didn't wake her up to ask her if she'd eaten the dinner I'd made. I let her rest.
Even if we couldn't see each other during the day, it was good enough to have those one or two hours when we could be together even in sleep. We worked hard to earn moments like that. I felt like she was working hard for me. A part of me, too, was working hard for her. Even when apart, we were still together in our minds.
Kuniko would kill me if she could hear my mushy thoughts. I shook my mind free of such things, snuggled my head into the pillow, and closed my eyes with a satisfied sigh, feeling warm, feeling protected, feeling happy.