Dream of You
Chapter 3. First Step
To heal a wound you need to stop touching it - Anonymous“Oi MIYAZAWA SAEE !”
I heard someone yelling behind my back and turn my view, just to see my best friend Oshima Yuu ran toward me. When he finally reached where I stand.
“Where have you been?” he’s trying to catch his breath and grabbed my shoulder “I went to your class but you’re not there” *pant pant*
“Ah..” I rubbed my neck though it’s not itchy even a bit and smile at him
“Don’t Ah me you dummy!” He smack at my head “You know what, you don’t have to use that fake smile around me”
“Ouch, I’m sorry, okay? I was dozed off while attend Mr. Akimoto class” I hissed at him and furrowing my brows. There he goes again, yap like what he said. I tend to forgot about take off my fake smile around him, yet he absolutely knew when I did
“W-Wait? Did you say you miss Mr. Akimoto class?” his jaw dropped, if you could see overreacting squirrel in front of me. He’s kind like squirrel because of his dimple and his crooked teeth, but that just his nickname from me; if I said it out loud he’ll probably angry.
“Yes” I simply answer him, just keep walking
?” He emphasized the last word
“Geez how many times do I have to tell you is YES
, I was sleeping aka ditching Mr. Akimoto” I raise my voice, a look of annoyance on my face show.
“It’s miracle Miyazawa Sae missed the Physic Subject, as we know how much do you love about Physic” He smirk at his comment, and we laugh together
“Say, do you know Kashiwagi Yuki?” Naturally I change topic, because I don’t wanna being tease over Physic again, FYI I’m not a nerd I just love Physic because it doesn’t need to memorized something like biology. Opposite of me, the one who standing beside me is way too smart over that subject required memorizing while his weakness is subject with number.
“Kashiwagi Yuki? Let me think, Hmmmm…” closing his eyes and put his right on his chin scratch over it, as if trying to remember something. Then his eyes widen, if this was a manga I could see a light bulb beside his head “Ah! The one who has long black hair, fair skin, her nose a bit big, and the most important she’s emitting black aura around her, that Kashiwagi Yuki?
“Yes, but what is with black Aura things? The way you describing her like she’s witch” I snorted hold on my laughter.
“Yes, Kashiwagi Yuki. 22 years old, from Medical Faculty, Psychology major. She one of hot item of from sophomore students. But because her personality rather Black, she doesn’t have many friends. END~
” Yuu gave satisfied look to me, as if he’s kind of detective.
“Wow- Sasugaaaa Oshima Yuu” I clapped my hand furiously “If I didn’t know that you’re already with Haruna, I’ll probably think that you’re into that Kashiwagi Yuki”
“Ssshhhh don’t so loud!” He closed my mouth with his hand by force and his eyes roaming around the hallway and continue as whispered “I was interested in her, remember WAS
. but she’s not buy any my flirt nor seduction” Now he crossed his arms on his chest, a bit annoyance look on his face
I lost in thought reminisce about how I met that particular girl, there is no sign of that Black
or whatever like Yuu said. Of course when I first met her, she’s somewhat disturbed by me because too much staring at her. It’s normal to get irritated by that, after that I think she’s kind enough to let stranger holding her hand around 4 hours not to mention how bored that was. Kind maybe that was my first impression of her. Until sudden tugging from Yuu pulled me out from my deep thought.
“O~ii, What are you thinking of?” Yuu waving in front of my face
“Nothing” I just smile sheepishly
“Btw, why did you ask about Kashiwagi Yuki?”
“I’m just curious about her, she’s one of my classmate on Mr. Akimoto class. I think she’s not bad as you think”
“Not bad?” Yuu’s look demand an explanation about what I said
“Yeah, you know what. When I was overslept on Mr. Akimoto class, actually she sat beside me. When I woke up I noticed that I held her hand for whole 4 hours, yet she didn’t say anything”
“Wait.. Wait a minute, you what?”
Instead of answering his rhetorical question, because I’m sure he got it what I mean “You know the worst thing is I’m mumbling something when I was sleeping that I shouldn’t do” The voice of mine lingering on the last sentence
He knew exactly what I meant things I shouldn’t do. I did mention earlier that Yuu is one of the people who was there when I’m on my knees. Remembered my mom called Yuu over and he’s rushing from Tokyo to where I am which is in Nagoya. Yuu was live in Nagoya but his father got transferred to Tokyo when we were high school. But we still close as ever, like when I told him about my first girlfriend which is her. Yeah she was my first, from the very first kisses and roses. I remember Yuu were there in my home for two weeks straight, just to make sure I’m okay. Though right now, I still dreaming about her but it’s not as bad as before. In the past, it was full with devastating feeling. I was screaming, mumbling her name countless time, and woke up with dried tears on your face. I grew afraid of sleeping; because like, the more I sleep the more I remember the things I don’t want to remember at all. You know when you’re dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up part is the hardest part. You roll outta bed and down on your knees and for a moment you can hardly breathe. Wondering, "Was she really here? Is she standing in my room?" Then you realized, No she's not, 'cause she's already gone. But looking at the situation back then, Yuu gave suggestion to my parents that i should be transferred into his college leaving Nagoya. My parents gladly complied for my health sake. Luckily that I had above average GPA, beside the dean itself got recommendation from my previous college.
“Maybe I’m not big enough Yuu, I still remember her”
This time Yuu become somewhat tense after heard what I am saying.
“You know what, you actually doing well than year before” He patted my shoulder and continue “You know you always have me,” I just nodded and beam my genuine smile at him. That is what I love from Yuu, when the others said cliché things like time will heal anything, just be strong or I know how you feel and gave sappy comments about your matter. He’s not like that, he always said that he’ll always be around if I need help. I don’t know about other, if it’s me hearing someone blabbering/lecturing over something he/she didn’t even know the whole story is fu*k annoying. Not forget to mention that we as an outsider always can give comments or criticize about other problem, but when you are in THAT
problem, it’s not as easy as you thought, you know.
“Hey is it time for your weekly therapy?” Finally Yuu broke the silent between us.
I took a glance at my wrist its near 4 PM, I got appointment with Dr. Katayama Haruka a psychiatrist for weekly check-up. I’m getting medical treatment about my condition. It was based on Yuu’s recommendation, because he’s from medical field. He think that if I received from professional doctor it will help me recover faster. At first I’m against this idea, because honestly as normal people I used to be believe that everyone who goes to psychiatrist is rather crazy or had mental illness. I clearly remember how he laughed his ass off about my silly thought. It’s not my fault, I’m a normal citizen and don’t know anything about doctor things. I hate to say that like he said, I’m getting better and better because of it.
“Un, Do you want to come along?”
“I’m sorry Sae, but Haruna asked me to go to movies”
“That’s okay Yuu, if someone saw us always together...” then I slowly approach his face heading to his right ear and whisper “they’ll thought that we are GAY
Soon I received smack at my head and hissed “Hiiiiii don’t do that again, Sae! It’s creepy” Hi rubbed his ear furiously and we laughed together
Then we said goodbye, I’m heading to the clinic where is Dr. Katayama located. Thank God it was not pack as usual, I took a seat on waiting hallway after done with the registration. for 15 minutes later its finally my turn
“Good Afternoon, Doc”
“Hello Miyazawa-san, how are you? Please take a seat”
In front of my eyes here she is, my psychiatrist. She is somewhat had this look older than her real age. I remember called her obaa-san, that was when I know that she’s just 5 years older than me I bowed my head. Her appearance is somewhat old but she’s nice.
“Shall we begin our treatment?”
She motions me to lie down on examination bed. I obey her and making myself comfortable, because it always she said before we started. Then I could see glimpse of her shadow toward me, she lit aromatherapy candle to boost relaxing feelings. I heard see took a seat beside the bed, begin to ask me
“Just close your eyes and your mind at ease”
I begin to closing my eyes, inhales lavender fragrances gave soothing effect on me. She begin to ask me some questions, I have no problem to answer it. Then she use hypnosis method in order to probe something unconsciously I hid from her. Soon I lost in other dream again.
I open my eyes, notice it the familiar ceiling. Then my eyes roaming around the room, same desk, same closet, it is my room back in Nagoya. I felt something heavy on my right arm, it was same figures. I turn my body facing hers; I tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, just want to see her face completely. Then my hand began to stroking her cheeks, went to her almond-eyes shape, down to nose and finally her pink lips. Soon I felt the body of the latter moving, she finally open her eyes. a pair of calmness stared back at me, smile drew on her face before leaning forward to capture my lips.
“Good Morning, Sae” She spoke in a husky voice, it’s still early in the morning.
I gave her my usual smile, and pulled her closer. Soon the smells of her strawberry came into my senses, it amazing how her body fit into my embrace. She chuckled but returns my embrace, snaked her arms on my waist, and kiss the shoulder of mine. It was her habit when we were cuddling before nuzzled on my chest.
“What is with sudden hug?”
“Hm-mm” I shook my head slowly “At least in my dream I want to have you all by myself”
She pulled away from embrace “I’m already yours, baby” She cupped my cheek and tilted her head in confusion
I wrapped her hand which is cupped my cheek with mine and brush her fingers “You are no longer mine, Rena. Probably you were never been”
Soon the room itself becomes blurry again as I feel something nudged at my body.
“Welcome back, Miyazawa-san” dr. Katayama said to me, she is busy write a couple of note
“How was it, doc?”
“It’s good actually, it improve from last week. I noticed you are no longer crying in your sleep and you woke up fast not like on other time”
I put my hand on my cheek, yes there’s no longer trace of dried tears on mine. I noticed that it just for 30 minutes since I began the therapy. Like she said it was the first time, I woke up fast. It usually around for 1-2 hours, not to mention she always wake me by force if I screaming and begin uncomfortable.
“Did something happen?” She still writing in my medical records without looking at me
“I was sleeping in my class today and without realizing held someone’s hand” I noticed she finally stop writing and look at me “but I feel comfortable around her. I sleep for around 4 hours while held her hand, and I don’t feel any migraine at all.”
“Oh I see..” She smiled and continue writing again
I don’t understand why she’s smiling, when I raised from the bed and want to excuse myself. before I completely out of the room, I heard the doctor called me
“How about finding new love, Miyazawa-san?”
“I mean the girl you talk about seems nice”
“Yes, she is” I smile at her, this time is pure smile from me.