Helloo everyone... I'm so sorry for the long update.. :banghead: The holiday is over, so I need to do many homework now. Being a college student is really take all my time to continue this story. So please forgive me and my long update, I hope the next update will be next month, until then please wait for my fic...
So enjoy this chapter 2 and don't forget to give your comments.. :cow:
Senpai Please Notice Me
Chapter 2
“Otsukaresamadeshita....”
“ Otsukare...”
“Maeda-san Otsukare..”
“Otsukaresamadeshita minna-san” I said bowing to the director and other staff.
“Acchan, otsukare.. Now you can change your cloth and we’ll go to the next photo shoot.” Said my manager reading my daily schedule.
“Hai.. I’ll go get the change then.” I said leaving my manager.
After I close my changing room, I sit on the chair in front off the big mirror. I let out a sigh and start massage my own shoulder. ‘Uhh... I’m tired and there still a photo shoot to do.. Haahh I wonder what time I can go home tonight?’ I thought while start to get up and changing my cloth. As I about to put my stuff in my bag, suddenly my phone start to vibrating, ‘Ahh.... a message from Mariko.’ I wonder what is the message.
“Acchan, how about we going to have lunch together this weekend? The other members already start to miss you... well especially your lovely midget captain. Although she pretend to not to, we all can see how much she miss you. She’s forcing herself to work harder than before, we’re all worried about her health. I think she’s been skipping her sleeping and eating time. She’s even refused my offer to buy her a katsudon.. a KATSUDON!! CAN you imagine that? There’s must be something really wrong about her, after more than six years knowing her, I never saw her to refuse the love of her life which is KATSUDON. We really need to meet and talk about her, before she collapse and things going worst. Well then reply me when you have break.. jaaa nee..”
After read Mariko’s message, I close my phone and slowly sit on the chair in front off the big mirror. Reading Mariko’s message about Minami make me feel nothing but sad and guilt. I can’t believe that Minami will ever refuse katsudon, but I know Mariko won’t trolling over a problem like this especially about Minami. I know that Minami will feel lost after I graduate, but I don’t think that it will effect her this bad. If only I can turn back the time, where I still the ace and standing on the stage with her on my side, I will going back to that time so I can hug and kiss her whenever I want. Truth be told that I enjoy my new life now, but somehow I felt there’s something that missing in my life, there’s a time that I felt so lonely and depressed. At times like that I remember how Minami will hug me or just patting my head, then I will lay my head on her right shoulder and hear nothing but her encouraging words until I feel better or doze off in her warm hug. With my graduation I know that things will never be the same, even Aki-P told me that. That’s why even there’s a time that I really want to go back to the past, or times where I want to go to Minami so I can just hug and have her to comfort me and lulling me to sleep, I hold myself to do that. I’m afraid that I will bother her, especially with her new position as Soukantouku and her debut song. Another reason is I’m afraid that I can’t live my life without her, I’m afraid that I’ll become too depend on her, I’m afraid that I can’t stand on my own feet and face off the world. I need to stop depend on her like I used to, it’s not just for my sake but for Minami too.
“Acchan, come on we need to go to the next photo shoot!” Said my manager breaking my thought.
“Ahh... okay let’s go then.” I said standing up from my seat and following my manager to the next photo shoot.
#Senpai Please Notice Me#
It’s been a month after Atsuko graduation, I try my best to live my life like I used to. I wake up early in the morning, taking a bath and then have my breakfast before I go to theater and start to practice by myself until other members come and we have our usual practice. At this end off the month we will release our new single. This single “Uza” have many difficult steps, many members have been stress about the steps. Yuko and Jurina as the centers practice very hard for this song, other members also try their best to remember the steps.
As the days passed by, I busied myself to practice Uza, I came more early and left more late than usual. It’s not like I don’t remember the steps, I already remember it at our third practice. I just want to make my steps perfect, no.. I need to be perfect for the sake other members. I need to be perfect so I can give an example and help other members. Other members like Mariko, Yuko,Kojiharu, Tomochin, and Miichan already told me to not forcing myself for practice too hard. I really appreciate their concern towards me, but I really need to make my steps perfect so I can help other members ‘and help myself to forget my loneliness without her on my side.’
Today as usual after other members going back to home, I start to practice by myself. I turn on the music and start to move my body following the music. I keep myself to repeat the dance over and over until I feel my body and my t-shirt wet from the sweat and the tiredness taking over my body. As I repeat the dance once again, I feel my knees trembling and my hands going weak like a jelly. I feel my vision start to blurry and then I fall down. ‘Shit... at time like this, why my body get this pain too? I get enough with this pain in my heart, why must I feel both pain at my heart and body?’ I thought as I laying my body looking at nothing but the ceiling. ‘I need to practice again, I can’t let myself drowning in this pain. This pain is nothing, I need to practice again.. I must practice again..’ I thought myself and start to get up.
I start over the music and start to practice again, I still can feel the pain in my knees and body as I dance, but I try to ignore it and endure the pain. I keep move my body, trying hard to finish the dance. At the last step, I need to throw down my body and then pull up my body from the floor in the spilt of seconds. I throw down my body, and the next second when I try to pull up my body from the floor, I feel like all my remaining power left me. Then I feel nothing but pain all over my body as I fall again on the hard floor. I fall really hard as I can hear the sound of my body crush the floor echoing the empty practice room. “Shit... shit..shit... why must I fall at time like this... Shit.... why I’m so weak??” I cry out all my frustration of tiredness, pain, loneliness, and anger as I keep punching my hands at the hard floor.
#Senpai Please Notice Me#
“Nee.. Yuihan, see you tomorrow. You sure don’t want to go home with me?” Paruru asked me as she open the changing room’s door.
“Ahh.. see you tomorrow Paruru, well I still want to practice my steps. You know I’m kind a left behind at our practice, and I still can’t remember all the steps.” Answered me as I also exit the changing room.
“Well, other members also can’t remember the steps. You know I fell about three times at todays practice.” Said Paruru with her usual salty face. “What I mean is, don’t force your body too hard, we still can practice tomorrow you know.” Said Paruru again.
“Wakata.. It’s not like I will force my body too hard you know. I’ll just practice 3 or 4 times then going home. Besides it’s already late in the evening.” I convinced Paruru while straighten my blue and red braided bracelet.
“Well.. If that’s what you want, I’ll see you tomorrow then. Jaa nee.” Said Paruru while walking towards the theater’s door.
“Jaa nee, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said waving my hand.
As Paruru left, I walk to the practice room. I remember that the main practice room must be locked by now, so I practice at the smaller practice room where the kenkyuusei usually practice. I turn on the music and then start the practice. I try to remember every steps, in the end I just practice about 4 times. Actually I still want to practice, but I feel very exhausted by now, so I decide to end the practice and going home.
I walk to the changing room while humming Uza, but then suddenly I hear a faintly sound of Uza song being played from the main practice room. I decide to check the room from the slightly open door. There I see Takamina-senpai practice alone in the empty practice room. As usual her moves look so perfect and full of power, but I kind a feel that’s something wrong with her moves. I keep watching her moves until she going to do the last step, then suddenly after she throwing down her body and want to pull up her body back, she ended up with fall to the hard floor with a loud “thump” sound.I was shocked to see her fell down, and want to help her, but then when I see her crying her frustration out, I cancel my plan to help her. It’s not like I don’t want to help her, but I don’t know how to help her at time like this. I never see her crying like this before, so I already know that my help can’t ease her problem now. Then slowly with a sad sigh I close the door and heading my way back to the changing room.
#Senpai Please Notice Me#
“Ahhh... I’m sooo tired, todays practice is straining all my energy. Nee... Nyannyan hug mee.. I need to recharge my energy...” Whined Yuko while runnning and chasing Kojiharu in the changing room.
“Mouu... Yukoo.. yada.. yada... Don’t hugging me with sweat all over your body..” yelled Kojiharu avoiding the pervert squirrel deadly hug.
“Mouu.. Nyannyan give me a hug... it’s skinship you know..” Said Yuko keep chasing Kojiharu.
“Mouuu... Yukoo stop it, or I’m not gonna go home together with you..” Threated Nyannyan still avoiding Yuko hug.
“Noooo... Nyannyan, don’t leave me alone. I want to go home with you.... Nee Takamina watch out, I need to immediately changing my cloth before Nyannyan changes her mind.” Said Yuko pushing Takamina aside from her open locker.
“Awww... not that hard Yukoo..” Said Takamina after being push and nearly fall from it.
“Sorry midget, I really need to hurry.” Said Yuko while open her locker which is next to Takamina’s locker.”Ehh... what’s that card on your locker? And what’s with that heart on it? Is that a love card from your fans?” Said Yuko while trying to take the card that being attach to Takamina’s locker.
“Mouu... Yuko stop trying to take it off from my locker. It’s not what you think it is. You see it’s just a cheer up card from someone.” Said Takamina blocking Yuko from her locker.
“Ehhh... Is that soo? But who is the one that sent it? Is that from one of members here?” Asked Yuko.
“Well, it just said ‘from your secret admirer’. But whoever is the person that sent this, I feel really thanked for her card, energy drink, and this cute rabbit band aid.” Said Takamina. “If that person in this room, I’d like to thanked and hug that person.” Said Takamina again while looking at the sofa which being seated by Kojiharu, Mariko, Tomochin, and Yuihan.’From this card I really feel that my lost energy suddenly fill me and give me a power to face my problem, this person I really need to thanked her.’
Flashback...
After crying my heart out, I regained my power back and decide to end the practice and going home. I opened my locker and found a bottle of energy drink, a cute rabbit band aid and a card. I took the card and read it, then I smile a little after reading the cheer up card. Somehow read the card can ease my problem a little. I took the energy drink,the band aid and the card from my locker and put it into my bag. I closed my locker back and was going to walk to the door when I saw a blue and red braided bracelet under my locker, ‘ehh isn’t that bracelet..’
Flashback end...
A week later, Uza PV shooting finally end. As usual Yuko invite all the members to get a little party together when they get a day off. Takamina, being one of the members that going to the party. At the party as usual Yuko being pervert with touching and molesting Nyannyan breast. Mariko and Miichan then start to cheering and recording them. Actually Takamina, didn’t want to go to this party, she rather took an all day sleep at this day off. But Mariko, and Yuko insisted her to come, and kidnapped her from her house. So here she is at the party with other members, as she try to enjoy the party, suddenly the door open and Takamina feels her heart stop when she saw Atsuko come in.
Yuko, Mariko, and Miichan stop their action when saw Atsuko and then group hug her. Other members then greet her or take a photo with her. Takamina still in her daze, can just looking at how pretty Atsuko with her new long hair and how cute her crinkle nose when she laugh.
“Minami... how are you? You seem off when I entered the room just now. Are you okay?” Asked Atsuko while sitting next to Takamina.
“Ahhh.. I’m fine, just being tired. How’s your job now? I heard you play a new drama this Desember.” Said Takamina trying to regain her focus from her long daze.
“Well... It’s kind a hard at the beginning, but I tried to work my best.. Mouu Minami I miss you so much...” Said Atsuko hugging Takamina.
“I...I.. miss you too, Atsuko.” Said Takamina stuttering. “I miss you so much Atsuko, I really do.” Said Takamina hugging Atsuko back, while slowly patting Atsuko head.
The two of them then start to talking about their jobs, day off, and other members and keep their hugging position while they talk, until the other members like Mariko, Nyannyan, Yuko, Miichan, and Tomochin interrupt their moment with engulf them in a group hug.
“Mouuu... guys what’s with the group hug all the time this night? Get up from me!! You all heavy you know..”Said Takamina trying hard to release her body from the deadly and heavy group hug.
“Ck.. Takamina, it’s not just you who miss Acchan you know, besides you still have this all night to being lovey dovey and do other hot things at your Acchan you know..” Said Yuko wriggling her brows in her pervert way.
“That’s right Takamina, you can have your Acchan later this night, why don’t you let us to hug her? Come on spare us some time with her too. Besides she’s my waifu you know.” Said Miichan also wriggling her brows and keep hugging both Atsuko and Takamina.
“Well, I think Takamina is so eager to take Acchan home, so they can lovey dovey all the night..” Said Mariko joining tease the midget captain.
“Ohh my God... Yuko pervertness is start to take out Takamina’s pervertness too, I’ve told you guys this Wmidget is a natural pervert from the start.” Said Tomochin with her disapproving eyes on Takamina.
“Tomochin is right, just then I think that you are different from this pervert squirrel. To be honest I kind a disappointed to you Takamina.” Said Kojiharu while shaking her head disappointedly.
“Hey... Hey...Hey... What’s going on here, why suddenly I’m being the pervert one here. We’re just hugging you know, it’s not like I’m gonna take her home and we’re make out or do other pervert things.” Said Takamina blushing hard from the tease.
“Ehh.. so you don’t want to take me home with you nee.. Minami? Mouu.. Minami hidoi yo..” Said Atsuko pretending to be mad. “Did you guys know? Just now Minami kept hugging me even if I tried to break the hug, but now she’s being all tsundere and mean to me...”Said Atsuko pouting her lips.
“Ehhh... not you too Atsuko, I do really want to take you home, but you know... I don’t mean to do the pervert things they think.”Said Takamina trying hard to explain to Atsuko.
“ You see that guys.. Minami is not just a pervert, now she’s a tsundere too.. poor my waifu.” Said Miichan still tease her captain. “Come on Acchan just leave this midget and going home with me. I’ll tell you a good story about her later.”Said Miichan trying to pull Acchan from the midget captain.
“Miichan is a good husband for you Acchan. Just leave this pervert and tsundere captain here.” Said Mariko joining Miichan.
“Miichan..”
“Acchan..”
Then the two of them start to hugging each other, leave the poor midget captain being all teased. Just when the two want to pretend to kiss, Atsuko’s phone ringing breaking their moment.
“Sorry.. I need to answer this call first.” Said Atsuko breaking her hug. “Moshi Moshi, it’s Maeda here...”Said Atsuko to her phone.
“Ahh... wakata, I’ll go to there now. Jaa nee.” Said Atsuko ending the phone.
“Nee... Minna-san gomen ne, I must go now, I’ve got a job to do.” Said Atsuko after closing her phone and put it back to her pocket.
After saying goodbye to all members including Minami, Atsuko then hurry take her leave. But because being too in rush she left her long coat on the sofa. Takamina then hurry pursuing Atsuko to give her long coat back. After running all the way to the entrance door, she spot Atsuko walking heading to a car. Just as she want to call Atsuko, she spot a man standing near Atsuko. Then when that man greets Atsuko with a hug then holding Atsuko hand tightly as the two start to enter the car, Takamina decide to hurry going back in, so she can’t feel another pang of hurt breaking her heart. Meanwhile there’s another pair of eye watching the same scene that Takamina just seen. That person then decide to go back in following Takamina.
After Atsuko left, the party start to going more crazy, Yuko start to drinking like she never drinking for years then keep blabbering about Nyannyan breast and start to demonstrate how to skinship to other members. This action too being recorded by Mariko and Miichan with their phones. Other members then start being drunk too, Tomochin keep drinking when she’s barely can raise her glass. Takamina who usually being the one who keep sober, drinking her drinks for about 3 or 4 glass, then stop it before she’s being drunk like the others.
At the other side of the room, Yuihan watching Takamina drinking her drinks. Watching her senpai drinking her drinks with those sad empty eyes, make her feeling the pain from it. She knows why her usual sober senpai, now joining to drink her drinks. She know what makes her senpai feel sad, but she doesn’t know what she can do to help her. She feel so useless right now, and she hate to feels this. ‘It’s worst than when I felt sad about knowing she loves someone else, Seeing her sad and down like this and can’t do nothing is making me feel so sad, I feel like I want to cry for her now.’ Yuihan thought while keep drinking her drinks just like it was a water. She keep drinking until the alcohol’s effect takes her body.
When the time shows that it’s already midninght, the members decide to end the party and going home, some members going back together to their home, Takamina then decide to going home with Yuihan because their house is near with each other. After saying goodbye to other members and help the drunk Yuihan to climb her back, she then take Yuihan back home while piggyback her. The way to Yuihan home didn’t take much time. After open the main door, Takamina then take Yuihan to her bedroom. Slowly she puts Yuihan down on the bed and cover her body with a blanket. After Takamina covers Yuihan with a blanket and checking the half-sleep yuihan, she decide to going back home. Just as she want to leave the bed and heading to the door,suddenly she feels Yuihan’s hand grab her right hand.
“Takamina-san... Daisuki...” Said half-sleeping Yuihan while crying her tears out.
Takamina startled by the sudden confession for a while, before she leaning her body down and wiping Yuihan’s tears with her hand. She let out a sigh before whispered to her self,
“I’m sorry Yuihan, I can’t...”
Hi... everyone sorry for the late update, school work keep me busy,
so please forgive me... I`ll update next chapter at the end of December.
until that time please wait for my update.
ps: I`m working on nogizaka46 x fudanjuku fic.. prepare yourself sayumai shipper...
Senpai Please Notice Me
Chapter 3
Like many people out there, Yuihan loves Saturday. It was time where she usually wakes up late in the morning, takes a refreshing bath and has a relax breakfast while watching TV or listening music. Later in the day, she will go shoping or takes a walk to the nearest park. When the weather is bad, she will spending her day off in the house by watching TV or movies, sometimes she’ll baking a cake or trying to cook a new recipe. But clearly this Saturday morning is not one of the day she would love. It was 9 o’clock, and the light of the sun is already radiating her room and forcing her eyes to open. Slowly she opens her eyes and try to adjust it to the light, but as heavy as her eyes to open, her heads start to spinning around. It’s like her head was being banged for countless time and someone put many rocks on top her head. To make it worst she feels her throat so dry that she feels like she can drink a countless gallon of water. ‘Uhhh.. It’s the worst hangover ever. How many glass I’ve been drank last night? Was it 10? 15? Or.. 20? Ahhh... Ittai... I shouldn’t drank that much..’ She thought while trying to get up from her bed.
She search for her phone and, see a message from her manager that tell her she doesn’t have any work for today. She sigh in relieve after reading the message for she feels so dizy and just want to sleep in her bed all day long. She then put her phone back on the table beside her bed when she notice a glass of water and a piece of paper being fold near the glass. She reach for the glass and drink it in all in one big gulp for she feels so thirsty. After drunk all the water she then take the fold paper and read a message that written on it
‘Drink this water after you wake up, I’m pretty sure you’ll need it. I’ll see you on Monday practice. Rest well.’
-Takamina -
[/i]
‘Takamina-san... I wonder she’ll still remember my confession. AHHHH... how should I face her when I see her on Monday practice. Baka.. baka.. baka, why I’m being so careless to confess to her when I’m drunk. She must thought that I wasn’t serious about it. What if she start to avoiding me, because I creep her out with my confession yesterday. Ahhhh... what should I do... I wish I can turn back the time now..’ Thought Yuihan after read the message from Takamina. After being in deep thought for a while about yesterday night confession, she then gets up from her bed and walk towards her bathroom to take a shower.
#Senpai Please Notice Me#
Meanwhile at the same time in one of many streets in Shibuya, a little figure of girl is walking while sometimes she’ll stop for a while to look after at some shops that look interesting for her. She’s already bought her favourites comics from her usual bookstore and was searching a place to eat breakfast when she notice a person that she knows very well from just watching her back. She then decide to just following that certain person and forgetting her breakfast. She follows that person from one shop to another shop, she notice that person take some interest at one item of the each shop she enters. She then take a look at each item that being touch or wear by that person while smiling at it.
She keeps following that person, until her watch showing it’s already 12 o’clock. She then looks at that person who seemed start to hungry as the person seem looking for a place to have a lunch. The short captain then decide to surprise that certain person and planning to invite her to get a lunch together. The short captain then start to walk faster to chase that person while her both hands being full from holding many heavy bags that only God knows what’s in that bags. She keeps walk faster and faster until the distance between her and that person only separate by one people. She saw that person was standing at the side of the road waiting for a taxi or bus. “At – suko.” Called the short captain, however she suddenly stop to calling when she notice the same car from last night being stopped in front of Atsuko, revealing the same man from last night who now was hugging Atsuko and take her to enter the car. Seeing the scene making all the hunger and tiredness leave her body, the short captain then turn her body and walking back home as the car walk away from the road. She feels anything but a lump in her throat and beats of hurt and pain in her heart, she keeps walk away while slowly feeling a drop of tear fall from her eyes.
#Senpai Please Notice Me#
It’s Monday, and as usual the members have a practice at the theater. They were practicing ‘Uza’ song for their first live performance tonight. They keep practice for 3 hours, until Takamina tells them to have a break to get a drink. The other members then hurriedly take a break and drink their water and wipe their sweat. Today practice felt so hard because Takamina add the portion of the practice in order to make their performance perfect. Other members can feel their knee start to tremble and their wet shirt and hair from the sweat. While the others take their break to sit down or even lay down like Miichan and Yuko at the corner of the practice room, Yuihan notice that Takamina didn’t even take a break to drink or wipe her sweat. She keeps watching Takamina who keeps dancing perfectly. She watches Takamina dancing and feel that her heart go doki-doki and her face blushing from the sight, however she then noticing that there are some other people who watch her beloved senpai.
“Kyaaa... Takamina-san so kakkoii ne... look at that serious face and that stern eyes... I think I’m gonna have a nose bleed now.” Said Amina waving both of her hands towards her blushing face.
"She sure is so cool and hot and the same time. I really wish she was a boy, so I can be her girlfriend." Said Mocchi looking at Takamina with a dreamy look.
'Sasuga Takamina-san, everyone respect and like her. It's seem that she'll hardly can notice my presence out of her many fan girls here.' Thought Yuihan looking sadly at her beloved migdet captain.
"Watching Takamina-san that look so cool like this, remind me her role in Mendol. I swear after watch her role as Kai, I start to think that she really is a boy. I can't take my eyes off from her when I watch the drama, eventhough Miichan and Kojiharu look ikemen too but bad boy Kai is my number one!" Said Mocchi to Amina as they now sit down on the floor still watching Takamina's solo practice.
"Nahh.... I always think that she is a boy until when she doing danso at AKBINGO. I always think her as my number one member that I want to be my boyfriend. I really love her with dark hair than her blonde hair at Mendol that makes her look like a yankee." Said Amina still watching Takamina dancing.
"Well her blonde hair really makes her look like a yankee, but that's what makes her look so mysterious and appealing to us girl you know. I like her danso when she wear a gakuran at AKBINGO too but I like her more when she wear that white shirt and red tie. She looks more cool and make me want to kiss her ears." Said Mocchi grinning while remembering Takamina wearing white shirt and red tie.
"Ahhh... that danso ikemen school episode is my favourite AKBINGO episode. Watching many members doing danso and wearing school uniform is like dream comes true. Mariko-sama, Miichan, Kojiharu, Sasshi, even Tomochin look so ikemen and kakkoii. But Takamina-san is still the most handsome one. She looks so cool even with her dorky answer, Ahhh... to bad we just have 3 episodes on that.” Said Amina to Mocchi then suddenly notice Yuihan presence who still standing behind them.
“Ah.. Yuihan, come here.. come here.. sit down here. Let’s have girls talk together.” Said Amina waving her hand to Yuihan so she can join her and Mocchi.
After Yuihan sits down beside Amina, the two of them continuing to talk about Takamina. They talk about her coolness even her dorkyness. They keep talking until the two of them start to bragging who had the most intimate time with their Captain.
“Well, I’m pretty sure that no one here had ever been taste how soft Takamina’s –san ears. She looks so cute and vulnerable while her face and her ears blush so hard from my kiss. She never get mad when I do that to her, I’m pretty sure that she secretly like my kiss.” Said Mocchi start to bragging.
“Ouwh... That’s not an intimate time Mocchi, that’s a harassment time. She just can’t say no to you but that’s not mean that she likes it. I bet she will shiver everytime you look at her ears, not because she secretly like it but because it creeps her out.” Said Amina while rolling her eyes at Mocchi.
“Whatever you said Amina, I’m still the number one who kiss her ears. So what’s your most intimate time then? I bet it’s not involving physical moment like mine.” Said Mocchi still bragging her moment.
“Well, if your definition for a physical moment is a forcing kiss to someone ears with a deadly hug then I don’t have any moment like that. Not just because I don’t like doing any harassment like that but also because I’m not ears fetish like you.” Said Amina.
“It’s not harassment you know, and like what Yuko always said it’s skinship.Too bad you can’t differ it although you always see it everyday.” Said Mocchi
‘That’s definitely what Yuko-san and other harasser would say, poor Takamina-san and her ears. But I kind a wonder what would Takamina’s-san ears taste. Ohh good... now I sounds like Mocchi and Yuko-san’ Thought Yuihan while blushing at her own thought.
“Well, you guys must be remember when we had Iiwake Maybe PV. At that time eventhough I’m happy for being senbatsu members, but when watching the PV and realise that I can’t barely see myself at that PV I felt so down. Like why even I’m in senbatsu, when no one can’t even notice my presence at the PV. People know I’m in senbatsu from the news about senbatsu members, not from the PV it self. I felt that I’m not good enough to be senbatsu member. That I’m being senbatsu member is just because a mere coincidence. I felt that other members is more loveable and capable than myself, so they have more time at that PV. At that time, I pulled out myself from other senbatsu members. I didn’t feel good enough to be with them. When other members went to eat and had small party together, I made an excuse that I can’t go with them. Everyone seem believe or understand that I don’t want to go. I felt that I didn’t have to go, for I’m just an ordinary member who by coincidence being senbatsu members. But deep down in my heart, I want to go with them too. I want to feel the late party with members, have fun, get drunk and laugh all night with them. As the other members started to go to the party and I started to walk home, suddenly Takamina-san parted herself from the others and then she grab my hand and said that she’ll walk me home. She insisted to walk me home even if I said I can go home by myself, so we both walk to my home and then – “
“Then what? What you two did?” Cut Mocchi impatiently.
“Then as we walk to my home, she took me to the nearest park, then she said those encouraging words – “
Flashback...
Takamina-san took me to a nearest park, we sat on a bench and I waited in silent for what would she told me, before she finally broke the silent between us.
“You have something to say, don’t you? It will just eat you up if you keep it inside, you can’t do that.” Said Takamina-san to me who keep looking down on my lap and held my tears.
“If you don’t put out your feelings out now, you won’t ever feel good! Just cry it out!” She then held my body in a hug and place my head on her chest as I start to cry out. “Let it out Amina, I’m here for you.. I’m here for you..” She said while rubbing my back, and I can’t help to cry louder and start to sobbing uncontrollably.
I cried my heart out, I cried everything that I felt for this past months. All my sadness, all my anger, all my desperation I cried it all to you, to your warm hug, to your soft touch on my back and, to your sweet encouraging words that you kept whisper to me. For the first time in my live, I felt so secured. I never felt so secured, and so easeful like this before. I felt like the time had stoped in this secured and easeful feeling you gave to me. You kept hugging me until finally you broke the hug and wiped my tears.
“Listen to me, stop eat up your own feelings, if you feel sad then cry, if you feel mad then throw it out, if you feel you can’t hold again your frustation or your loneliness then call me. If you don’t talk then how would I know your feelings, how would other members and fans know your sadness? Please open up yourself to us, we all here to help you, I’m here to help you, and stop pressuring yourself!” Said Takamina-san holding my both hands with her warm hands.
“But, I don’t think I’ll ever be perfect like you or Acchan. I’ll always ruin our performance with my mistakes, I wonder why I became senbatsu members, when all I did was just a burden to our group, with or without my presence there’s nothing different, it’s not like someone would ever notice me.” I said lowering my head looking at anything but your eyes.
“Amina, no one is perfect. I’m not as perfect as you thought. Me and Acchan made mistakes too.” Said Takamina lifting up my face so she can see my face.”No one told you to be perfect, all mistakes you made were your lesson to make you knew your own ability, so you can fix it and gave your best next time. No one ever felt that you were a burden. Just be yourself, let people recognize you how you really are. Your presence means everything to your fans who loved and supported you with their heart. Don’t feel like you’re not well-liked.”
Her words of advice, her encouragement words have an amazing magic effect to me. I felt like all my problems and all my worries being thrown away to a far deep sea where I’ll never faced it again. I felt that all the burdens that kept hanging on my shoulders before slowly left me and being replace by a warm feeling whenever I see Takamina-san face.
“Arigatou Takamina-san, I’m sorry for bothering you with my problems and sorry for make your shirt wet.” I said gratefully to her.
“Nah.. it’s okay, your not bothering me. I just wanna help you, that’s what friends do right? It’s getting more late now, let’s go home.” Said Takamina-san standing up from the seat and offering her right hand to me.
“Let’s go home.” I said grabbing her warm hand and holding it tight as we walk side by side.
Flashback end...
“So,that’s the reason why you love Takamina-san?” Asked Yuihan after listening to Amina’s intimate memory with their Captain.
“Well rather then love I would prefer to say that’s the reason I admirer and respect her.” Answered Amina then thought to herself,’Besides I know that her feelings for me is nothing but as a co-member, and a friend. I know that my growing feeling towards her will never be mutual.’
“Woaahh... your story with Takamina-san is just like a story from drama TV. That’s surely romantic, unfortunately there’s lack of fan service like we used to see from a TV drama , where is the kiss scene or any make out scene?.” Said Mocchi disappointly.
“Sorry disappointing you for the lack of fan service, but last time I check, I didn’t have any ears fetish or harassment urge like you or Yuko-san. So I didn’t have any intend to make my most intimate memory with Takamina-san turns to be an adult movie.” Said Amina looking at Mocchi with disapproval look.
“It’s a S-K-I-N-S-H-I-P,SKINSHIP... not a harassment, besides after all the romantic scene there must be a make out scene or at least a kiss. That’s the common scene in a TV drama, right Yuihan?” Said Mocchi while asking for an approval from Yuihan.
“Tha- that’s right.” Stuttered Yuihan while nodding her head. ‘But I’m glad they didn’t do anything, other than hugging and holding hand, if they were really kissing or making out I’m sure I’ve been died now because of my jealousy.’ Thought Yuihan trying her best to hiding her rising jealousy towards Amina.
“Did anyone said skinship? Let me teach you all what is the secret of the beauty, delicate, and artistic way of skinship.” Said Yuko who suddenly joining them.
“No, thanks. I’d like to keep my most romantic and intimate memory with Takamina-san pure from any gross which full of a forceful harassment. “ Rejected Amina.
“Oh.. come on it’s SKINSHIP, wait a minute what’s with the most romantic and intimate memory thing? Care to explain?” Asked Yuko, changing the topic.
After the three, well mostly Amina and Mocchi explain the start of their little quarrel about their lovely Captain, Yuko then start to telling them her own version of most romantic and intimate memory with Takamina.
“Sorry to beat you all guys, but me and Minami is close enough to be called comrade. We usually going playing and eating together. I often slept at her house, and wearing her pajamas or using her towel for bath.” Bragged Yuko to the three.
“Ck..ck..ck.. Yuko, you’re not the only person who do all that things. They called us Wminami for a reason you know. I’m not just doing all the things you did, but I did something that no one here had ever done. I often wear Minami’s panties, and not the ordinary one but the pink and cute one which she likes the most” Said Miichan suddenly comes out from nowhere and joining to brag herself.
“ You two, stop to brag yourself over something like that! I think both your memories don’t have the same meaning that Amina, Mocchi, and Yuihan talk about before. You two make it like some bragging that old man does. Listen to me, I was the only one that Minami ever told her love. Besides I’m the number one person who Minami want to be her wife. So you two, stop bragging that pervert things.” Said Kojiharu stoping Miichan and Yuko quarrel.
“That’s what I mean Kojiharu! The most intimate and romantic memory is some sweet memory that you can proud of, but unfortunately Mocchi, Yuko, and Miichan have other perspective which lead us to some pervert and harassment memory they have.” Said Amina, half glad from Kojiharu answer and at the same time felt half jealous from Kojiharu sweet memory with Takamina.
“Okay, cut it off! First of all it isn’t a harassment it’s purely a skinship, like what I always do to you Nyannyan. And since when you like to be Takamina’s number one list to be her wife? Did that midget start hitting on you? I’ll definitely stop her moves for trying hitting on you.” Said Yuko in annoyance and jealousy as she start to hugging Nyannyan.
“Mou... stop hugging me so tight Yuko, and stop snuggling your head to my breast... You pervert.. Baka!” Said Kojiharu while pushing and hitting Yuko’s head.
“Mouu... Nyannyan skinship... give me skinship. I need to check if your body is alright or not, who knows your oppai gets bigger or your oshiri gets-“ Said Yuko but being cut by a slap to her head from Nyannyan.
“YUKO... Stop it you pervert, or I wont going home with you and going home with Mariko instead.” Said Kojiharu while slapping Yuko.
“NOOO... Nyannyan NOOO... Okay..Okay, I’ll stop it. But promise me don’t going home with Mariko, pleasee...” Said Yuko begging for forgiveness.
“I’ll consider it, well back to the topic. Yuihan what about you, don’t you have any intimate or romantic memory with Takamina?” Asked Kojiharu to Yuihan who suddenly turns red.
“Well.. urm.. about romantic memory with Takamina-san.. I-“ Stuttered Yuihan. ‘Romantic memory with Takamina-san... I wonder if there is any from all my memory I have with her’ Thought Yuihan while she start to being immersed in her own memory with Takamina and start to have a flashback.
Flashback start...
It was our first days for being a kenkyushei, we all start to having a hard time to catch up with the hard practice and some of us start to having a thought to give up. At that time, I start to losing my confidence, I start to doubting my decision to joining AKB48. But out of nowhere, there’s someone who suddenly sit next to me at the corner of practice room. That person not only sit next to me, she gives me some drink too. After I take a gulp of the drink she said some encouraging words to me,
“Nee.. Your name is Yuihan, right? You know Yuihan, it’s okay for being tired from the practice and having thought to quit, but I think it’ll be such a waste for you to quit before you start to standing on that stage. The battle is just started now, so don’t stop here now, don’t stop before you can give all your best. Who knows you’ll win this battle soon, right?” Said Takamina-san patting my shoulder, then after that she left me alone with her gifted drink.
Little did I know, that was the first time I start to have this crush for her.
After I have been shock for being a member in team K, there was another unexpected thing that awaits me...
"Team K Yokoyama Yui transfered to NMB48 team N" Said the MC.
'What... but why... I was just being team A member. Why I being transfered now? I've just trying to get along with the group, but now I must go to another team?' I thougt in frustation and start to crying when suddenly I was wrap in a tight hug from someone.
"Shh...Shh..Shh.. It's okay Yuihan... Everything is gonna be fine. You'll be okay, I promise you it'll be alright. Because if it's you, I know it's gonna be fine. Stop crying please, I’m here with you” Said Takamina-san hugging me tight while whispering some encouraging words to me.
Her hugs, her hands that keep patting my back, and her words at that time, make me cry my heart out louder then before. I start sobbing and hiccuping uncontrollably when I realise with my transference, it’ll lessen my time to meet her, I can’t she her as much as I do now.
Little did I know, that was the first time I realise that my crush for her turn into some deeper feeling.
“I’m really sorry Takamina-san, it’s all my fault. I’m really sorry..” I said bowing my head.
“It’s okay Yuihan, it’s not your fault, you just stumble over and I just try to help you. It’s just an accident so don’t blame yourself okay?” She said patting my right shoulder.
“But, it’s my fault to be so clumsy and stumble over my own foot” I said still feel guilty.
“Eh? Is that so? I think your clumsiness is cute...
‘Eh? Did Takamina-senpai just said that I’m cute?’ I thought doubting my hearing.
“.... Your clumsiness is cute, and I think that’s what make me falling for you...
‘Eh.. what did Takamina-senpai just said? Falling for... me?’ I thought as I feel my heart start to doki-doki and start to blushing again.
“.... And I think that’s what make me falling for you... Atsuko” Takamina finally said and patting my head.
Little did I know, that was the first time I want Takamina-san to notice me.
I walk to the changing room while humming Uza, but then suddenly I hear a faintly sound of Uza song being played from the main practice room. I decide to check the room from the slightly open door. There I see Takamina-senpai practice alone in the empty practice room. As usual her moves look so perfect and full of power, but I kind a feel that’s something wrong with her moves. I keep watching her moves until she going to do the last step, then suddenly after she throwing down her body and want to pull up her body back, she ended up with fall to the hard floor with a loud “thump” sound.I was shocked to see her fell down, and want to help her, but then when I see her crying her frustration out, I cancel my plan to help her. It’s not like I don’t want to help her, but I don’t know how to help her at time like this. I never see her crying like this before, so I already know that my help can’t ease her problem now. Then slowly with a sad sigh I close the door and heading my way back to the changing room.
Little did I know, that was the first time I feel so useless, for I can’t do anything to help her.
“Takamina-san... Daisuki...” I Said half-sleeping while crying my tears out.
Takamina-san startled by my sudden confession for a while, before she leaning her body down and wiping my tears away with her hand. She let out a sigh before whispered to herself,
“I’m sorry Yuihan, I can’t...”
Little did I know, that was the first time I feel heartbreak for loving her, and I realise there might be another heartbreak for loving Takamina-san.
Flashback end...
“ – Han.. Yuihan.. Yuihan.. Hey, are you alright?” Said Miichan waving her hand in front of my eyes, that bring me back from my flashback about Takamina-san.
“Ah.. I’m okay, it just that I was thinking about Takamina-san kindness towards me.” I said to her ‘and all her kindness towards me that make it so hard for me to not fall for her’ I thought to myself.
“Well, Takamina is really kind right? She always help us when we have any problems, She really care to all of us here, She cry and smile with us, and the most important thing is she love all of us so dearly. I never meet people like her before.” Said Kojiharu watching Takamina drinks her water.
“That’s right Nyannyan, she’s so kind. That’s why I want her to be more selfish. I want her to do what she really wants, I want her do something not because she must do that thing but because she wants do that thing. I want her to enjoy herself more, do things she likes, be more free, and open up her feelings towards us.” Said Yuko seriously watching Takamina take her rest.
“Yuko is right, I hope Takamina will meet someone who can cherish her,someone who loving her as much as she does, someone who will always at her side and ease her problems, and someone she can rely on.” Said Miichan patting Yuihan’s back
“Yeahh.. I hope so.” Said Yuihan nodding her head. ‘I hope I can be that person for Takamina-san, No.. No.. I want to be that person for Takamina-san. I must tell Takamina-san my true feeling for her.’ Thought Yuihan, finally knowing what she should do.
#Senpai Please Notice Me#
After practice hard, all members prepare themself to get ready for the performance. They change their clothes to ‘Uza’ costume, which they wear it for the first time after their PV shooting. Everyone looks cool in their costume, especially Takamina. The costume fit her so well, showing her body’s curve. Mocchi, Amina, and other kouhai start to fangirling over her who looks so cool and bad ass at the same time. They keep saying how cool Takamina in her costume. Yuihan who staring at Takamina-san, starting to secretly fangirling over Takamina. Her heart start to beating fast from the nervousness of their performance and from staring at how hot Takamina in her costume. Yuihan was trying her best to control her heart beat, when suddenly Takamina standing in front of her looking at her with concern eyes.
“Nee... Yuihan, daijoubu?” Asked Takamina.
“Dai... Daijoubu desu. It’s just I feel nervous for our performance.” Said Yuihan startle by Takamina sudden appearance.
“Souka? Yuihan, it’s okay for being nervous, even I feel it too now. It’s our first performance and the dance steps is quite hard too, that must be what you thought right? But for now, I want you to stop think like that. I want you to enjoy the performance, and show the fans all your best. If it’s Yuihan, I think it’s gonna be just fine” Said Takamina while patting Yuihan’s head.
“A.. Arigatou Takamina-san, sorry for make you worry.” Said Yuihan lowering her head, not daring to look at Takamina.
“Nahh.. It’s okay, just tell me when you feeling troubled okay. I’ll try my best to help you out.” Said Takamina patting Yuihan’s back. ”Well, then if you excuse me, I need to find Togasaki-san. “ Said Takamina start to leaving Yuihan.
“Ahh.. sure – “Said Yuihan looking at Takamina who slowly walk away. “Ta.. Takamina-san, you look so cool in that costume.” Yelled Yuihan with her blushing face.
Takamina who hearing it stop her step, turning her body around. “ Arigatou Yuihan, you look good as well.” Said Takamina smiling then give Yuihan a wink.
‘Yabai... I feel my heart want to explode from this heart beating. Kami-sama what should I do?’ Thought Yuihan, touching her red cheeks.
After a while, the performance finally start. Yuihan try to showing her best dance, while she fell immerse in Uza song. The lyrics from the song give her a courage to once again tell Takamina her true feeling.
‘After this show, I’ll tell her once again my true feeling for her. I’ll tell her properly because I don’t want her to think that I’m not seriously loving her’ Thought Yuihan.
#Senpai Please Notice Me#
After the performance ended, all of them gather to have dinner together. When they finally feel full, they then decide to go home. As Yuihan and Takamina walk together to their home, they talk about members, their practice and their latest performance. Actually their house is near each other house, it just being separate by a few houses. As Takamina talking to her, yuihan can’t take her eyes off from her face. She keep encouraging herself to confess her feeling for Takamina. As they arrive at Yuihan’s house, they stop in front of the gate and facing each other.
“Nee.. Takamina-san, arigatou for walk me home” Said Yuihan bowing her head
“Nahh.. It’s okay Yuihan, our house is close you know. That’s why you don’t have to thank me.” Said Takamina.
“Souka... Hmm.. then Takamina-san, arigatou for taking me home the other day when I’m drunk. You must be trouble because of that.” Said Yuihan.
“Ahhh.. That’s fine.. That’s fine.. That’s what senpai and friends for, right? Next time don’t get too drunk okay, it’s bad for your health.” Said Takamina
“Hai.. Anoo Takamina-san, the other day when I drunk, did I say something to you?” Asked Yuihan.
“Ahh.. well you did say something, but I think it’s just because you drunk right?” Said Takamina.
“Hmm.. I don’t think so.. Ne, Takamina-san what if I really mean my words that night?” Said Yuihan walking closer to Takamina.
“Ehh.. What does that mean?” Asked Takamina.
“I... I – “ Grab Takamina and kiss her. “I.. I love you since so long Takamina-san. Please go out with me.” Said Yuihan after breaking the kiss, she keeps her head down not daring to look Takamina eyes. Readying herself for a rejection.
“Ehh...” Said Takamina, still dumbfounded from the kiss. She still shock for a while but then remember the other day at the party, and what happening at Saturday morning. Takamina close her eyes for a while before open it and grabbing Yuihan shoulder. She reach for Yuihan’s chin, so Yuihan can facing her face.
“Arigatou Yuihan, for telling me your feeling. I’m not good when it’s come to something like this, but if that’s okay with you, then let’s try going out together nee Yuihan.” Said Takamina, patting Yuihan’s head.
Takamina-san... even if I already prepare my heart for your rejection, but why my heart keep beating so hard from your answer?
Nee.. Takamina-san please tell me how to stop this crazy heart beating for you...