JPHiP Radio (19/200 @ 128 kbs)     Now playing: Beat Crusaders - SxExXxIxSxT

Author Topic: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Forty-Six -- Nightmare]  (Read 144601 times)

Offline rndmnwierd

  • Subleader of Tsunku's Army
  • ecchi
  • Member+
  • Posts: 4824
  • What has been seen cannot be unseen.
Yay! Berryz! As long as you don't start writing about Cute.

Offline Rick-e

  • **Gaki Lover**
  • Member+
  • Posts: 816
Wow! momo's got spunk! I like it ^_^

and strict Takahashi as a troupe leader  :heart: :heart:

Quote
She threw her arms around my neck and hugged me so tight that I could almost feel the air being squeezed out of my lungs, and I was lifted slightly off of the ground. It’s not a pleasant feeling, should you ever be unfortunate enough to experience it
if it was me, I wouldn't complain one bit ^_^

overall it's areally fun chapter to read :D keep it up  ;)

Gaki-san 大好き!

Offline FeverInducedMadness

  • Loser87's Fanfic Rival
  • Member+
  • Posts: 181
  • Ai wo kudasai...
Oooo interesting, Risako the liar. XD Tricking Momo into coming to help replace Yurina. Poor Yurina, hurting herself...o_o; Miyabi sounds pretty bitchy here. XD

...I can't help but think of Kaleido Star here for some weird reason. Lol.

Should be interesting to see how practice goes later. :)

Lol. Bad Socko. She should be nicer than that, right? And don't worry about Yurina. She's just a little clumsy. <3 And yeah, that was the intent. XD She's probably not going to be liked during most of this story.

Practice will be... fuuuuuuun. >D

So, Risako, Miya and Yurina are originally the members of this group.

What can I say, Miya is really that evil :3

Hehe, Momo is the one that owns Gag. (well, in this case, the real universe :D)

Now, all I need is Maasa, Yurina and our beloved Maiha XD

Keep up the good work FIM! (trying to not throwing random thing :D )

Yup. ^-^

Yeah, she is. Her laugh scares me sometimes. o_o

Haha, I figured no one would argue with me about that.

Well, two of them will be showing up in this chapter I'm about to post.

XD Thanks for restraining yourself for my sake.

I'm making this short because my internet is evil and I need to call the service later today to complain

HOORAY FOR NEW CHAPTER...FINALLY!
God It's so fun and cute, You need to update faster
There is no scolding for a while as I realized I have a pile of homework to finish and a crappy dsl line to fight with

Until then,
POST NEW CHAPTERS YAH!! *Throws a man at you*

XD I have mixed feelings about your internet being evil. Happy because it means less scolding, but sad because it probably means less comments. ;-;

haha, you know this isn't going to be updated nearly as much as VoA, right?

-screeches at the man- DO NOT WANT! -flails- ;-;

Yay! Berryz! As long as you don't start writing about Cute.

Haha, I wasn't planning on it, but... why not? Would that be bad? X3

Wow! momo's got spunk! I like it ^_^

and strict Takahashi as a troupe leader  :heart: :heart:
if it was me, I wouldn't complain one bit ^_^

overall it's areally fun chapter to read :D keep it up  ;)

Hahah. Indeed. She isn't gonna take Miya's crap.

I figured she could fit the role. <3

And yeah, if I was in Momo's place, and da Socko was hugging ME... <3<3<3

Your wish is my command, for a new chapter is coming as soon as I finish typing this.
-sig is undah construction because it needs to be pimped out-

Offline FeverInducedMadness

  • Loser87's Fanfic Rival
  • Member+
  • Posts: 181
  • Ai wo kudasai...
[Chapter Three -- T Stands for Trouble]

She’s late… like half an hour late…

The girl was standing there behind the garbage cans in the alleyway, hidden from passersby. She was wearing a leather jacket, a pair of ripped up jeans and a baseball cap that was about two sizes too large. She had the collar of her jacket popped up, partially to protect her face and neck from the cold, and partially to obscure her face from view of the people walking by. They thought she was just some punk kid up to no good.

And this was true.

It was exactly what she wanted them to think, because if they did, then they would ignore her and keep walking on by and they would mind their own business.

Damn you, Maiha. If I find out that you were just screwing around again…

“You know, they say that if you brood too much like that you start looking old faster, Maa-chan.”

Finally. The little rat had decided to show up. The girl in the leather jacket resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she turned to her partner in crime and prepared to give her a rather thorough scolding.

“First off, I’ve told you so many times not to call me that that I’ve lost count… Second, where the hell have you been? You can’t waste time talking to girls non-stop. You know Saki can’t take care of Chinami and find time to get food and money. That’s why she needs us.”

The one called Maiha grinned. It was a facial expression that annoyed Maasa to no end. That crooked, wolfish, disarming smile that made girls swoon and fall at her feet. Well, girls other than Maasa, anyway. It just made her want to punch the other girl in the face.

“I wasn’t wasting time. I was engaging in a very important conversation with a few of those theater girls, and I found some interesting things in their pockets, I’ll have to say.”

Idiot. Moron. Stupid. I bet you found a few other things to be interesting while you were doing that, too.

Nevertheless, Maiha was holding up a generous wad of cash, which Maasa took and stuffed into a pocket concealed on the inner lining of her jacket. She then took the liberty of giving the other girl a light slap to the side of her head.

“OW! What on earth was that for?!?”

“When people depend on you, you take it seriously, got it?”

“Okay, okay, got it… man… you just suck sometimes, Maa-chan…”

“Don’t care. I’m going to go get this to Saki. You stay out of trouble.”

“Yeah, whatever. I should be saying that to you. Next time you get caught by the cops, they’ll put you in jail.”

But Maasa was already walking away. She still didn’t care. They could put her in a cage but they’d never be able to keep her there. She was like a cat: she did what she wanted, went where she wanted, and hung out with whomever she wanted to. The only reason she tolerated Maiha was because she wasn’t as skilled at stealing things and getting away with it.

As she walked, she was acutely aware of her surroundings. Living on the streets meant that you were ready for anything. Especially in THIS city.

Her eyes were on the theatre, and she was particularly amused to see it’s ace, Natsuyaki, stalking out of it as though she was quite offended. Maybe someone had finally put that girl in her place… Then came the teacher, nose up in the air as always… Boring. She was about to change directions in order to get to the hideout, when she noticed two others exit the building. She recognized Sugaya, but she was not familiar with the shorter female at the performer’s side.

The girl was an outsider, obviously, but even if she hadn’t been wearing different clothing, Maasa would have been able to tell by how uncomfortable the female looked being in the city. She was cute, and perhaps Maasa would have even gone so far as to describe her as being pretty, but the girl was looking in her direction now, and she quickly turned away, darting into another alley for cover.

She mentally berated herself for getting distracted, and started to run to where she was headed, trying to forget about the whole thing.

Maybe it was because the girl seemed so out of place…

But no matter how hard she ran, she couldn’t get that face out of her mind.
« Last Edit: April 12, 2007, 03:18:30 AM by FeverInducedMadness »
-sig is undah construction because it needs to be pimped out-

Offline Estrea

  • ecchi
  • Member+
  • Posts: 2624
  • ひゃっっほーい♪( ´θ`)ノ
Maiha the player! o_o; Lol. XD

Maasa being tough and not taking any crap huh? Is something wrong with Chinami cos Saki has to take care of her? o_o Hmm seems like a tough little city if that's what they're doing to survive. Hmm indeed.

Hmm Momo sure seems to attract a lot of attention. XD

More pwease. :P

永遠に咲き続ける花なんていない、すべてはいずれ枯れて朽ち果てしまう。

Currently writing:
- Lilium-related things. God save my soul.

On Hold:
- Everything Else. Too many to list.

I'm also on AO3!
http://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrea

Offline ziggurat

  • sweetsplash heartbeat
  • Member+
  • Posts: 1957
Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Three -- T Stands for Trouble]
« Reply #25 on: April 12, 2007, 11:10:54 AM »
Quote from: FeverInducedMadness
The one called Maiha grinned. It was a facial expression that annoyed Maasa to no end. That crooked, wolfish, disarming smile that made girls swoon and fall at her feet. Well, girls other than Maasa, anyway. It just made her want to punch the other girl in the face.   

But.. but... I love that smile! (:D) Yeah, actually your description doesn't sound bad all..

Heh, I'm surprised to know that Maasa and Maiha are from the street. Er, Maiha still a girl? (or a boy in this fic) lol..

Interesting... please continue... I still can't make out how they will coss each other paths....
« Last Edit: April 12, 2007, 11:27:05 AM by ziggurat »

Jab <3 marimari <3 ChrNo~ your spirit shall live forever.. T_T || zgy@last.fm

Offline lil_hamz

  • Sapphire and Nouveau... like it should've been
  • ecchi
  • Member+
  • Posts: 2569
  • She makes every summer sweet, every moment happy
Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Three -- T Stands for Trouble]
« Reply #26 on: April 12, 2007, 12:37:23 PM »
Wow Maiha a player? Gotta visualize that  ;D It seems loads of people are noticing Momo now. Who knows, she might become the new ace.

Loser87

  • Guest
Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Three -- T Stands for Trouble]
« Reply #27 on: April 12, 2007, 09:01:51 PM »
Wow, Maiha the player XDXD
Write more you writing slave WRITE!!

Hmm I do wonder what is up with Chinami that she has to be taken care of
Anyways, I COMMAND YOU WRITE FASTER YOU IMAGINATION PERSON THING!! O_O
*throws sushi at you*
Hurry up or NO FOOD FOR YOU!! >_>

Offline FeverInducedMadness

  • Loser87's Fanfic Rival
  • Member+
  • Posts: 181
  • Ai wo kudasai...
Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Three -- T Stands for Trouble]
« Reply #28 on: April 13, 2007, 02:49:37 AM »
Maiha the player! o_o; Lol. XD

Maasa being tough and not taking any crap huh? Is something wrong with Chinami cos Saki has to take care of her? o_o Hmm seems like a tough little city if that's what they're doing to survive. Hmm indeed.

Hmm Momo sure seems to attract a lot of attention. XD

More pwease. :P

XD She always gets the rough end of the deal in all the other fics she's featured in, so I decided to give her a break... and the girls. hahaha

Yeah, something's wrong with the kid. But you'll have to wait and see as to what it is.

XD She's a little out of place.

In a few minutes, I'll be happy to oblige. <3

But.. but... I love that smile! (:D) Yeah, actually your description doesn't sound bad all..

Heh, I'm surprised to know that Maasa and Maiha are from the street. Er, Maiha still a girl? (or a boy in this fic) lol..

Interesting... please continue... I still can't make out how they will coss each other paths....

Me too... me too. <3

Yes, Maiha's still a girl. XD

New chapter should be up as soon as I finish editing it.

Wow Maiha a player? Gotta visualize that  ;D It seems loads of people are noticing Momo now. Who knows, she might become the new ace.

She's gotta get through Miyabi first...

Wow, Maiha the player XDXD
Write more you writing slave WRITE!!

Hmm I do wonder what is up with Chinami that she has to be taken care of
Anyways, I COMMAND YOU WRITE FASTER YOU IMAGINATION PERSON THING!! O_O
*throws sushi at you*
Hurry up or NO FOOD FOR YOU!! >_>

Writing, master, writing. ;-;

-nibbles on sushi- :3
-sig is undah construction because it needs to be pimped out-

Offline FeverInducedMadness

  • Loser87's Fanfic Rival
  • Member+
  • Posts: 181
  • Ai wo kudasai...
Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Three -- T Stands for Trouble]
« Reply #29 on: April 13, 2007, 03:32:26 AM »
I'm not so sure about how I ended this chapter. Seems kind of sloppy to me.
XD
Oh well. Enjoy, since I've been neglecting this poor thing.

[Chapter Four -- Decided]

“So where are we going now?”

“Well, I thought since we had some time to kill… and since I’ve had the chance to shower and no longer smell like dancing… that we could go and visit Kumai-chan at her house.”

“Who’s that again?”

“Yurina. The girl you’re replacing, remember?”

Might be replacing. Maybe. I still hadn’t said yes to her yet. It all depended on that night’s rehearsal… and whether or not I had the willpower to pull it off.

Risako and I had left the theater not long after Natsuyaki and Takahashi-san in order to head over to her house so that I could drop off my things and so that she could ‘freshen up a bit’. Whenever I heard those words, I knew that I would be waiting a few hours before she got out of the shower. But it’s okay… I’m good at waiting. I can find things to focus on to keep me from getting bored.

Like when I had been waiting for my cousin to call a taxi, I started to people-watch in order to entertain myself, and I spotted this shady-looking girl across the street. I think she had been looking at us, but as soon as she made eye contact with me, she disappeared from my sight.

I’d been getting a lot of reactions like that ever since I made it into the city, so I didn’t really think much of it.

Oh, and by the way, riding in that taxi sucked. The leather was hot and kind of sticky and it burned basically every little bit of bare flesh that I had the misfortune of letting it touch. My arms still hurt every time I think about it.
So anyway, once Risako was done getting all pretty again—which I thought was pointless—she had decided to take me back outside for a walk, and soon after our little conversation ended, we stopped at this small, somewhat dilapidated house. I was beginning to wonder if the whole city was broken and sad like this… from what I had seen so far, the only nice places to be were the theatre, the train station, and Risako’s house…

It was really somewhat depressing.

As we walked up to the front door, I could hear a piano being played inside. Risako paused to listen to it for a moment, a grin on her face. I was confused.

“What?”

“Her admirer must have stopped by again today. She never gets into the music like this unless that person comes to hear her. Not that she isn’t amazing all of the time, but there’s something different about it after she gets visited by that stranger…”

I nodded while wearing my still-blank expression, and my cousin knocked on the door, receiving a shout “Come in!” from the inside. Apparently people in this city didn’t lock their doors, either. I suppose if you didn’t have much to lose, it didn’t really matter.

The inside of the house was basically the same as the outside, worn out and shabby, and in the corner of the room near the window was positioned an old piano. The girl was sitting at this piano, playing as if she were just an extension of the instrument. I swear, I had never heard anything so beautiful in all of my life, and I probably will never hear anything better.

She was tall, and had long, slender legs and arms that were better described as graceful rather than awkward. Which was why I wondered how on earth she had managed to get that bulky cast on her leg. Maybe she was a lot clumsier than she looked… I knew one thing for sure: she could really play the piano. Risako and I stood there for a moment quietly, as to not disturb her and let her finish playing the song and I found my eyes wandering to the girl’s hands.

They moved effortlessly across the keys, gliding along their ivory surfaces like a skater on ice. It was almost dizzying to watch, because she was playing a difficult piece that required her hands to move quickly and without error. The song quickly built into a crescendo, and as it ended I felt myself slightly out of breath.

Mother used to tell me that people didn’t just listen to music. You sort of invest a little bit of yourself in a song emotionally, which makes it more of an experience, rather than just a performance.

“Did you write that yourself? It was so beautiful…”

Yurina grinned at me shyly, nodding her head a bit. I could tell that I would probably get along with her a lot better than I had with Natsuyaki. Risako introduced us to each other, and then she pulled a couple of chairs over to the piano bench so that Yurina wouldn’t have to move much. In fact, she looked as though she was having trouble just turning around to face us.

So I was curious…

“Um, if you don’t mind me asking… how exactly did you manage to injure your leg?”

The tall girl seemed to be uncomfortable answering my question. “Well… we were rehearsing, a-and I…” Risako cut in at this point, and her eyes were filled with a bitter sort of fury that I had never seen her display before.

“It wasn’t an accident. Takahashi-san didn’t see it, so she didn’t believe me when I told her, but… Miyabi definitely tripped her when we were going through the routine. I know she did it on purpose, too, because I saw her watching Kumai-chan when we started to dance, and she never took her eyes off of her. It was like she was waiting for the perfect moment so that she could be sure she’d really hurt Yurina, and now our center’s got a broken leg…”

I couldn’t help but be so incredibly angry at Natsuyaki at this point. I didn’t even really know the poor girl sitting across from me, but… this wasn’t right at all. And the one who took her out was getting away with it, and was probably going to benefit from what she had done, too.

The injustice of it made me really mad. So mad, that I wasn’t really thinking through what I was about to say next.

“Well, don’t worry, Kumai-san… I’ll make sure that she regrets what she’s done…”

Risako blinked at me. So did Yurina.

“Does that mean… you’re gonna do it? Are you going to replace her?”

My eyes shifted over to the injured girl, who was regarding me curiously. She didn’t seem angry… more like… relieved.

“Yes… I mean, if that’s alright with you, Kumai-san… I don’t want you to feel like I’m taking your place forever. This is all a bit rushed for me, really…”

“No, it’s okay… To be honest, I only really perform so that I can have enough money to support myself… It’s just a job for me.”

“…You don’t like it?”

“Not really. I’d rather just play my piano all day, but that would never be enough to feed me or get me clothes and stuff.”

The city revolved around the charisma of the theatre. Unfortunately… musicians weren’t nearly as popular as the girls that sang and danced. They were lucky enough if people would stop and listen to them on the street. That’s what Risako told me once. It hadn’t always been like this, but for now, there wasn’t much hope for change. My cousin tried to lighten the mood by changing the subject.

“So, did she stop by here today again?”

A faint blush was crossing Yurina’s cheeks. “Y-yes… I still couldn’t make out what she looked like, though. She didn’t get close enough to the window. I think she actually climbed up into that tree out there just so she could listen…”

They were talking about that mystery person again.

“Does this happen often, or something?”

“Well… a few days a week… someone always comes and sits outside my window to listen to me while I practice. At first I was frightened, because I thought someone was trying to break in, but they left as soon as I was done. Then after the first week or so, I learned that it was a girl, because she spoke to me for the first time. She’s got a very quiet voice, and it’s kind of scratchy and rough, the way she speaks, but I think it’s kind of nice… different, you know? She told me she liked my music because it was very soothing and it helped her to relax… The only other things I know are what I can guess… She always sounds so tired… like she just wants to sleep… I think her heart’s really worn and broken, like something really bad made it that way. So whenever she shows up to listen, I put my all into my playing, because I like to think that maybe I can do a little bit to brighten up her life somewhat.”

Risako let out a little ‘aww” sort of noise, which made Yurina begin to blush even more furiously, and I watched as the tall girl fidgeted with her hands. It really was cute… even if maybe the idea of a stranger always hanging around would have personally freaked me out.

At least she wasn’t going to be bored while she took a break from dancing.

I was beginning to wonder, though… about all of this.

Shouldn’t I have been more careful…?

If I got too attached…

What if I didn’t want to leave after my two weeks were up?
-sig is undah construction because it needs to be pimped out-

Offline Estrea

  • ecchi
  • Member+
  • Posts: 2624
  • ひゃっっほーい♪( ´θ`)ノ
Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Four -- Decided]
« Reply #30 on: April 13, 2007, 04:01:33 AM »
O_o Miyabi the bitch. Tripping Yurina! Gah!

That girl who's been listening in on Yurina is Chinami, isn't it? Cos if something is wrong with Chinami, I gather that she's ill or something like that, so it kinda matches up.

Momo's definitely getting attached to the place, whether she likes it or not. Heh.

Can't wait to see how the rehearsal goes. I'm sure Miya will try to make life in the theater hell for Momo. XD

永遠に咲き続ける花なんていない、すべてはいずれ枯れて朽ち果てしまう。

Currently writing:
- Lilium-related things. God save my soul.

On Hold:
- Everything Else. Too many to list.

I'm also on AO3!
http://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrea

Loser87

  • Guest
Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Four -- Decided]
« Reply #31 on: April 13, 2007, 04:28:52 AM »
Wow Miyabi is...quite..how do I say this..Deviously evil?
I bet it was Chinami, my entire 78% of me says its Chinami who is the secret admirer =D
Ah, Berryz fics are so entertaining >w<

But that's so sweet >w<
About Yurina and Chinami *squeel* X3
Okay so i think I figured it out, but i think i got some of them wrong..
I put it in white just in case I do get some right and some people don't want it to be ruined and stuff..

Starts here:
Chinami is the broken one..
Momo the outsider...
Yurina is the Muscian
Maiha is the Flirt
Miyabi is the Prodigy
Maasa is the Rebel
Saki is the dancer
and Risako is the one that started it all


Anyway I <33 you my slave for updating quickly! I say Encore!! XD
Who said you can eat the sushi I fling at you!? I THREW THE SUSHI SO THEY'D HIT YOU!
<_< Note to self : Don't throw food at FIM she'll just eat it..
ahem..Now, MUSH AND TYPE FASTER YOU MONKEY!!
YAH YAH!!
*Throws a katamari at you!* o_o....I <33 Katamari
Now my slave MUSH! YAH!!!
« Last Edit: April 13, 2007, 05:51:44 AM by Loser87 »

Offline FeverInducedMadness

  • Loser87's Fanfic Rival
  • Member+
  • Posts: 181
  • Ai wo kudasai...
Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Four -- Decided]
« Reply #32 on: April 13, 2007, 04:36:49 AM »
O_o Miyabi the bitch. Tripping Yurina! Gah!

That girl who's been listening in on Yurina is Chinami, isn't it? Cos if something is wrong with Chinami, I gather that she's ill or something like that, so it kinda matches up.

Momo's definitely getting attached to the place, whether she likes it or not. Heh.

Can't wait to see how the rehearsal goes. I'm sure Miya will try to make life in the theater hell for Momo. XD

Yeah, it's Chinami. XD

She's going to have a hard time leaving... should she decide to... hm...

Oh, you know it. XD That's like, a given.

Wow Miyabi is...quite..how do I say this..Deviously evil?
I bet it was Chinami, my entire 78% of me says its Chinami who is the secret admirer =D
Ah, Berryz fics are so entertaining >w<

But that's so sweet >w<
About Yurina and Chinami *squeel* X3
Okay so i think I figured it out, but i think i got some of them wrong..
I put it in white just in case I do get some right and some people don't want it to be ruined and stuff..

Starts here:
Chinami is the broken one..
Momo the outsider...
Yurina is the Muscian
Maiha is the Flirt
Miyabi is the Prodigy
Maasa is the Rebel
Saki is the dancer
and Risako is the one that started it all


Anyway I <33 you my slave for updating quickly! I say Encore!! XD
Who said you can eat the sushi I fling at you!? I THREW THE SUSHI SO THEY'D HIT YOU!
<_< Note to self : Don't throw food at FIM she'll just eat it..
ahem..Now, MUSH AND TYPER FASTER YOU MONKEY!!
YAH YAH!!
*Throws a katamari at you!* o_o....I <33 Katamari
Now my slave MUSH! YAH!!!

^-^ I think that's being almost TOO nice to Miyabi. XD
That 78% is right.

There isn't enough YuriChina love out there... <3

Oh, and your list.. you're right. All of it. But a heads-up, if anyone's using the black forum skin (like me), they can see that anyway. XDDD

But... I like sushi. <3
I do NOT like katamari. Or... at least. I think I probably don't.
XD
-going to bed now-
-sig is undah construction because it needs to be pimped out-

Offline ziggurat

  • sweetsplash heartbeat
  • Member+
  • Posts: 1957
Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Four -- Decided]
« Reply #33 on: April 13, 2007, 04:37:59 AM »
This a beautiful chapter I must say. Because it's made of Yurina beautiful piece, her beauty self and your style of writing.. :heart:

Quote from: FeverInducedMadness
Whenever I heard those words, I knew that I would be waiting a few hours before she got out of the shower. But it’s okay… I’m good at waiting. I can find things to focus on to keep me from getting bored.

Heh, that's Risako for you.

This shady character sure interesting.. I bet she's Maiha :3 (heh, just read your comment and found I'm wrong  :depressed: , I suck with guessing)

Your description about Yurina really fits her. Love it so much!

Oh my, so the devil tripped Yurina ? This evilness is another level than previous chapters.. My view about this Miyabi has changed..  :scolding:

Can't tell if you have enough sweetness already or you're going to be overdose unconsciously by it.. To describe this chapter.  :heart:
« Last Edit: April 13, 2007, 04:40:42 AM by ziggurat »

Jab <3 marimari <3 ChrNo~ your spirit shall live forever.. T_T || zgy@last.fm

Offline lil_hamz

  • Sapphire and Nouveau... like it should've been
  • ecchi
  • Member+
  • Posts: 2569
  • She makes every summer sweet, every moment happy
Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Four -- Decided]
« Reply #34 on: April 13, 2007, 09:48:02 AM »
Wow weeeeee so glad I checked. There's a new chapter. Wow I can't believe Loser87 got all right. I messed up 2 of them. I love Momo so I wish she would stay but poor Yurina. Unless maybe, she's gonna get to play the piano for good somehow  :-\

Offline FeverInducedMadness

  • Loser87's Fanfic Rival
  • Member+
  • Posts: 181
  • Ai wo kudasai...
Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Four -- Decided]
« Reply #35 on: April 13, 2007, 03:32:42 PM »
This a beautiful chapter I must say. Because it's made of Yurina beautiful piece, her beauty self and your style of writing.. :heart:

Heh, that's Risako for you.

Oh my, so the devil tripped Yurina ? This evilness is another level than previous chapters.. My view about this Miyabi has changed..  :scolding:

Can't tell if you have enough sweetness already or you're going to be overdose unconsciously by it.. To describe this chapter.  :heart:

Aww, thank you so much. ^_^

lol That drives me crazy about some people that I know. I can be ready in like, five minutes, and other people will take at least an hour. And I'm a girl, so they can't really use that as an excuse. XD

And it will probably continue to change as the story progresses, I bet. lol Like, when I get around to writing Chapter Six up...

Well, I don't know about OD'ing on sweetness, but I'll see what I can do. <3 The story will have it's angst, but I want it to be more fluffy than sad. :3

Wow weeeeee so glad I checked. There's a new chapter. Wow I can't believe Loser87 got all right. I messed up 2 of them. I love Momo so I wish she would stay but poor Yurina. Unless maybe, she's gonna get to play the piano for good somehow  :-\

Lol. I kind of made it easy to guess them all by trial-and-error at this point, even though I'm not sure that I really meant to. Oh well. XD

Well, we'll see how things all turn out for these girls, won't we... :D
-sig is undah construction because it needs to be pimped out-

Offline FeverInducedMadness

  • Loser87's Fanfic Rival
  • Member+
  • Posts: 181
  • Ai wo kudasai...
Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Four -- Decided]
« Reply #36 on: April 13, 2007, 03:35:14 PM »
Ya'll will probably be getting a double-update on this story today, because once again I'm stuck on VoA. D:

[Chapter Five -- This Place is Crazy]

“It’s so cold up here… I don’t understand how the two of you live here…”

Maasa was standing up in “The Loft”, which was the name that had been given to the hideout that served as a home to Saki and Chinami. There really was no better word to describe it, actually, because what it was was just that: the attic of a decrepit, abandoned building that the two of them had taken over.

Maasa didn’t really like it at all.

For one thing, she was pretty sure that the house had sustained major fire damage in it’s earlier years, and was standing on its last legs. One entire wall was missing, and it gave a person a rather good view of the city. The roof had holes in it everywhere, and the floor wasn’t much better. Only Saki and Chinami knew where to walk in order to keep from killing themselves. Maasa had fallen through to the dining room the first time she had visited, and would never again go much farther than the doorway.

She was much smarter than that.

Another thing she didn’t like was that the two girls basically only had rags and old coats to sleep on, assuming that they actually slept. Saki always looked tired, even if she was able to put up a very convincing cheerful front, and Chinami… well, she just doubted it.

“It’s not so bad, Maa-chan. You just float around so much that you’ve forgotten how it gets in this city.”

“Maybe so… Anyways, I brought you some stuff. Courtesy of the rat known as Maiha herself.”

She handed the smaller female a grocery sack filled with food, and Saki seemed to have to swallow a bit of her pride in order to take it. She liked to be responsible for herself, but Chinami was getting worse lately, and it was really hard to keep an eye on her and take care of the necessities at the same time. Thankfully, there were others looking out for them.

“I really appreciate this, Maa-chan, but… I don’t like that the two of you steal in order to help us out… The police may think Maihacchi’s a joke, so I’m not really worried about her, but they think you’re dangerous and-”

“Whatever, I get it already. What’s with everybody being on my case about that today?”

“I’m just saying… you and I and Chii-chan and Maihacchi all know that you’re innocent, but the police don’t, and they’ve still got it out for you around here. So just… be careful.”

Maasa snorted, stuffing her hands into her pockets as she turned to look out at the city. She really didn’t want to talk about this right now. Saki sighed, taking the bag and wandering over to the back corner of the upper room, where Chinami lay curled up beneath a pile of coats. Saki had managed to find her wandering around in the city, and had only just brought her back to the loft a few minutes before Maasa arrived.

She didn’t really know where it was that Chinami disappeared to all the time, but the other girl was careful to keep Saki from following her, and thankfully, she would always eventually turn up. The girl always seemed to be feeling a bit better after she got away, and for that at least, Saki was grateful.

She crouched down beside the tan girl’s prone form, and shivered a bit as Chinami’s blank eyes stared out at her. Saki knew that she wasn’t really looking in her direction, because when the other girl got like that, she wasn’t all there…

“Are you hungry, Chii-chan? Maasa brought us some food.”

“Not really, Captain.”

Chinami was the only one who called Saki by the name “Captain”. She never called her by her real name, and so Saki sometimes wondered if the other girl might have forgotten it. She didn’t ever correct the other, however, because for one it was useless, and for the other she didn’t have the heart to do such a thing.

Anyways, the girl was calm at the moment, and Saki merely nodded, deciding to leave her alone. Perhaps she would get some rest for once.

She set the bag down and walked back over to Maasa, staring quietly out at the city as well, before the other girl broke the silence to speak.

“Life might be easier for you if you went back to dancing, you know.”

“Aren’t you tired of trying to discuss this with me? We always arrive at the same end whenever we talk about it.”

“I’m just saying. That theater always paid you well enough so that the two of you could get by. And if you’re so worried about me and Maiha getting in trouble…”

“I can’t. It was easier earlier on because it wasn’t as bad, but now… I don’t even have enough time to really keep my skills up anymore because I have to keep an eye on her…”

“Then maybe give Chinami some space? Maybe she’d start feeling better if she felt that she had a bit more freedom…”

“She tried to jump off of the building yesterday, Maa-chan. If I hadn’t shown up when I did, she might have succeeded. And maybe it would be different if we lived somewhere else, but in this city… I don’t know… she can be fine one minute and the next something’s triggered an episode and she loses it.”

“She should be in a hospital…”

“She doesn’t want to be in a hospital. And even if she was willing, neither of us have the money to afford her stay. I’d love to even just get her some medicine if I could, but it’s so expensive…”

Maasa was silent for a moment, resisting the urge to kick what was left of the wooden frame beside her. It just wasn’t fair.

“What about performing on the street like how you let her do magic? You could probably get some nice change out of doing that…”

“No.”

“…Is this still about that girl?”

“…No.”

“That’s a lie, and you know it. Y’know, if this girl really liked you, or loved you, or whatever it is that you want it to be that she feels for you, then she wouldn’t care about where you’ve ended up.”

“She doesn’t know and I intend to keep it that way. She was so mad and hurt when she found out that I was just dropping out of the troupe without any reason at all, that I just… well… you didn’t see that face… she was so disappointed in me. I don’t think she even knows that I’m still in this city and that’s fine. I’d rather she forget about me.”

Silence from Maasa again. Saki had finished what she was saying so firmly, that the taller girl didn’t really want to press the matter much further. Instead, she decided to change the subject… Well, a little bit anyway.

“I saw some other girl with Sugaya today…”

“Huh, who?”

“She was short, kind of like your height… I don’t think she’s from around here.”

“Oh… that’s her cousin, Tsugunaga Momoko.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because I met her this morning by some strange twist of fate, I guess. She said she was visiting or something…”

Now, THAT was interesting. Nobody just visited this kind of place. Maasa couldn’t help but be curious.

“What’s she like?”

“She was nice, I guess. Well, she was kind of stiff when I was talking to her, like she’s not used to the city yet, so I just kind of overlooked that. She didn’t really seem all that comfortable around people, either, so my guess is that she lives somewhere where a person’s got a lot of elbow room.”

“Huh…”

“Why do you ask?”

“No reason.”

“That’s a lie, and you know it.”

“Okay, but saying that to me doesn’t have the same effect as when I say it to you. Of course I know it’s a lie, but I’m not going to let you in on what I’m thinking.” Maasa was already climbing down the ladder that led up to the loft, and Saki couldn’t really do much other than watch her leave.

“Sometimes I wonder about you…”

“I don’t know why you waste your time. Not even you’ll be able to figure me out. Nobody can.”

“I hope one day somebody comes along and proves you wrong.”

“That’ll be the day that I stop wearing pants and start dressing up like a girl.”

“Well, I hope I can find a camera soon, then.”

“Whatever.”

Saki merely grinned as she watched Maasa retreat out of sight, and she sat down at the edge of the floor, letting her legs dangle outside. The sun was starting to drop lower in the sky, and she knew that about now, Takahashi would be drilling her students with some difficult routine. She sighed, and leaned back on her hands, closing her eyes. She just couldn’t help it. That aching feeling was back to gnaw at her heart again.

I wonder… do you ever miss me… the way that I miss you?
« Last Edit: April 13, 2007, 11:11:58 PM by FeverInducedMadness »
-sig is undah construction because it needs to be pimped out-

Offline ziggurat

  • sweetsplash heartbeat
  • Member+
  • Posts: 1957
Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Five -- This Place is Crazy]
« Reply #37 on: April 13, 2007, 03:55:16 PM »
Quote from: FeverInducedMadness
Maasa had fallen through to the dining room the first time she had visited, and would never again go much farther than the doorway.

Lol Maasa.

Whoa, Chinami really has a weird sickness.. And look like only Yurina's music piece can reduce her pain or sickness..

Captain has a mysterious history... I wonder with whom she's in love... :3 Risako?

Double chapter always nice.. :D Thanks for the kindness :heart:

Jab <3 marimari <3 ChrNo~ your spirit shall live forever.. T_T || zgy@last.fm

Offline Yuuyami

  • Hardhat? ( ¯ロ¯ );;
  • Global Moderator
  • Member+
  • *
  • Posts: 1609
  • Prance. Do it. Now. N.O.W.
Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Five -- This Place is Crazy]
« Reply #38 on: April 13, 2007, 05:49:08 PM »
"The Loft" reminds me of Aladdin's home xD And I personally think who Saki's thinking about is none other than the bitchy Miyabi xD Those two have great chemistry in a way xD

Though I look forward to this dance routine that Momoko's suddenly a part of. I can't help but think of Munasawagi Scarlet because the center's on Miyabi and Momoko xD I wonder what Momo'll think once she finds out that in 'the fishy move' (You know what I'm talking about xD The head swishing and going down the other's leg), her partner for that move is Miyabi xD. I'd imagine Miyabi won't be too thrilled at that either, roffle xD

I like the characterization you put into Momoko. Inevitably, I can see that by the end of this story, she'll be a nicer person and more happy than emo xD

Ai as the instructor makes me giggle for some reason xD I can't really imagine her as a strict teacher, she's more of a nicer teacher in my image of her xD.

Makes me wonder how many more H!P cameos you intend to make :]

Keep up the good work! -gives you the obligatory and famous hardhat to protect yourself from Writer's Block-

Loser87

  • Guest
Re: ::Heartbeat Tempo:: [Chapter Five -- This Place is Crazy]
« Reply #39 on: April 13, 2007, 11:03:12 PM »
gosh, they all pretty much live in crappy houses o_o

haha, I just realized the list you wrote out descended according to age order from oldest to youngest
Anyways, Chinami has episodes huh, now what happened that was so horrible that she'll have episodes like vietnam veteran hm..

I feel an obvious, SakiXMiyabi vibe going on >_>
But I want to bring my hopes up that high in case I'm wrong
But what I can do is squeel like a little girl because this story's romance vibe is just so damn adorable >w<

Quote
Maasa had fallen through to the dining room the first time she had visited, and would never again go much farther than the doorway.
Haha, I laughed so very hard here XDXDXD

Quote
“I’m just saying… you and I and Chii-chan and Maihacchi all know that you’re innocent, but the police don’t, and they’ve still got it out for you around here. So just… be careful.”

What is the reason for the police going after Maasa..
I'm guessing that she was obviously framed for a crime she didn't comitt..

Quote
I wonder… do you ever miss me… the way that I miss you?
*clinging onto life...Refusing to die from cute overload...*

Now, my slave Post faster!
MUSH YOU...You...you...*throws a water bottle at you* I have run out of clever or silly name callings for you!
POST!!TYPE!!BE THE FIC!! o_o....dude, scratch that last part <_<

JPHiP Radio (19/200 @ 128 kbs)     Now playing: Beat Crusaders - SxExXxIxSxT