JPHiP Radio (17/200 @ 128 kbs)     Now playing: Love Psychedelico - Your Song

Author Topic: Gegenschein: The First [22/10 - Tablet IX]  (Read 14311 times)

Offline Estrea

  • ecchi
  • Member+
  • Posts: 2624
  • ひゃっっほーい♪( ´θ`)ノ
Re: Gegenschein: The First [12/10 - Tablet VIII]
« Reply #60 on: October 22, 2010, 07:26:30 AM »
Tablet IX


She hides in the shadows, prowling close.

Her quarry sits on a ledge, legs dangling over a sheer precipice. The mild evening breeze runs invisible fingers through her hair, sending it streaming over one shoulder.

Closer. Time slowed to a crawl as she moves through the shadows, the invisible seam between light and darkness that mortal eyes could not penetrate. It hides her from view, though it does nothing to erase the sense of her presence...at least nothing beyond what she could manage herself.

Close. Within striking distance, to take the head off that slender neck pale in the twilight. She pauses, contemplating the best moment to strike...

Then she hears the low hum of more than one voice, ghosting through the quiet night. It came from the lone figure she stalked, a sorrowful dirge of profound loss. It makes her pause, undecided all of a sudden. Surely a monster would not be capable of such music?

The figure shifts, looking up at the barely visible rim of the moon half hidden by clouds. Tears are visible on that face, with lips parted in silent agony.

The hand half raised to strike is lowered, confusion evident now. What was this? Surely not so mad after all, or more likely, there was a method to the madness, a purpose behind it. Not completely irrational, possibly even salvageable?

"Why will you not kill me?" The voice was sorrowful, and the huntress jolts, startled. Her prey was looking right at her, and not merely in her direction. How had the fiend managed to break her camouflage?

"You wanted to kill me." Now that the disguise was broken, she steps out of the shadows. Her step was wary, ready to fight or flee at a moment's notice. Regardless of what this creature might seem to be, there was no question that it could be very dangerous.

"I do. You are dangerous." Too dangerous to exist in this world. Despite not being of much auspicious origins herself, the huntress knows that the being before her could be a plague on the world.

"That is true. My very existence is forbidden." A rueful smile.

"Then, you are aware of what you are?" That was disturbing. Most others did not know what they were, much less who they were before the change, but this one seemed to retain a great degree of self awareness. That was very rare indeed.

"Bits and pieces. I know what you are, Night Walker, born of the blood of my kind." Those large eyes grew unfocused, distant. "I see things, people...I don't remember them, but I know things..."

"You are mad." The huntress is afraid, but does not show it. There had been stories of the abominations who had taken on the blood memories of the true immortals, and this one was showing all the signs of it.

A light chuckle, and the lithe figure rises sinuously to her feet, balancing precariously on the edge with her arms outstretched. She walks a steady line on the very edge, not even flinching when pebbles crumble from under her feet.

"Oh, I must be. I have to be. Mad! Such a word!" She twirls on the spot, unheeding of the fact that she could plummet to her death with the slightest miscalculation.

"I have been mad." Her voice was low, steady all of a sudden as she came to an abrupt halt. As if imparting a great secret, she continues.

"I went mad when they killed my beloved. I was mad when they killed my unborn child. I must still be mad, because they killed me too, but here I still am."

She bows her head.

"And now I kill them."

The huntress represses a shudder. There was a ring of absolute truth in those words, the stark reality of pain relived over and over in those fathomless eyes. Despair fought with hatred in that husky timbre, even though the very essence of it rang hollow.

This woman was badly broken in more than one way. It would have been a mercy to kill her, to end her misery. But there was something...

"You want me to kill you. Why?"

She is rewarded with a strange look, almost approaching amusement.

"Do I not deserve death? I have killed...many. I only know how to destroy. My existence threatens the world with war, should I be mad enough to spread my disease."

She spreads her hands. "You were created to deal with my kind. This I know, if little else."

"You want to die." The huntress says, suddenly certain. The strange smile on her quarry's face does not fade.

"I have nothing left to live for. Those responsible for my Master's death are dead by my hand. There is no longer any meaning for my existence. I should have died when He did."

The huntress is silent for a moment.

"I cannot kill you."

There is true rage on that eternally young face, warping otherwise beautiful features into a hideous mask. In a blink she holds the huntress -- now the hunted -- by the neck, shaking her like a rag doll.

"Must you let me suffer? Why did you not kill me when you wanted to? Why!"

She chokes in that suffocating grip; it is perhaps fortunate she does not need air anymore.

"Because..." She gasps. "Because your hunt is not yet over."

The grip loosens fractionally. She takes the opportunity to continue.

"I have seen things. The reasons for which the Immortals are hunted by those they protected...the reason your Master was killed...are you not interested why?"

Confusion. The hand holding her up lowers.

"I...do not understand. How would you know...and why would you care?"

Red eyes flashed in the dark.

"You're not the only one with a vendetta."

~*~*~

On retrospect, perhaps ridding the world of that abomination that night might have been a better choice in the long run.

Summer wondered what whim had made her pause, but it had been too good an opportunity to pass up. On her own, she was forced to run and hide from the presence of hunters, with little thought given to the future.

Meeting her dear Raven had been a revelation. Here was another one of power, disaffected by the reins holding her. Raven could very well have killed her on their first meeting, but she had not. Perhaps it amused the girl to disobey orders, and Summer had never been more grateful for that flight of fancy.

Now she had her fierce hunter by her side, and that made any possible pursuit by the rank and file of those damnable humans laughable in terms of danger posed to their combined forces. Summer recognized that Raven was one of the most gifted of her generation, and the second awakening she had bestowed on her had merely opened her mind to a different world.

Raven could kill the abomination in a straight fight. That was something Summer herself was incapable of. She could only take advantage of a swift, decisive attack from cover, but would be at a vast disadvantage if the damage she made with that first strike was not lethal or incapacitating. Her talent lay in charm and misdirection, not in an all out fight.

Her Raven would be a failsafe, she knew. The abomination could not be trusted. Even now that thing was still only in its infancy, barely aware of the true extent of its powers. It was a gamble she made, counting on the wild card to disrupt things sufficiently so that her target would become visible. Though it would all fall apart if Raven herself fell prey to the influence of the abomination.

Every one of them was different, but there were common characteristics uniting them. Their cursed blood, and their thirst. Other talents manifested according to the individual, and already this one was showing signs of overpowering domination. If allowed to awaken to its true abilities, it would be as dangerous as the ones who had mastered themselves in the first war, maybe even more.

It was almost too untenable a risk to take, but take it she must. Summer clenched her fists. That man had ruined everything, destroyed her gods -- though she hated them for turning her into what she is now, she knew that it was for a good cause. Her fellows had scattered because of the traitor, and she knew that there could not be many of them left.

After all, they had been plucked from a staid existence from along the banks of the Nile, enlisted unwittingly into a struggle greater than themselves. They were not warriors, merely shaped into the mould of one. If Summer had been less resourceful herself, she would have perished early on. They were nothing if not meant to be disposable.

Well, she would show them. She would not disappear without a trace, as both her creator and her enemies wanted. Vengeance was but a petty thing to live for, but it could be a powerful motivator.

She would see justice done, one way or another. And when everything ended...

She would be happy to let it end then, if there ever was one.

=================================================================


I really like skipping around in time. XD

Postponing important plans to next chapter. Woohoo!

永遠に咲き続ける花なんていない、すべてはいずれ枯れて朽ち果てしまう。

Currently writing:
- Lilium-related things. God save my soul.

On Hold:
- Everything Else. Too many to list.

I'm also on AO3!
http://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrea

Offline Sukoshi

  • Member+
  • Posts: 1243
  • Forever in love with the turtle and the hare
Re: Gegenschein: The First [22/10 - Tablet IX]
« Reply #61 on: October 22, 2010, 08:50:00 AM »
*blinks*  A non-gorey, relatively straightforward chapter?!  This must be a trap!   :mon wtf:

Quote
There had been stories of the abominations who had taken on the blood memories of the true immortals, and this one was showing all the signs of it.

Oooo....since Aisha's lover was super old...this must be like getting wise through osmosis...I like that thought! XD

Quote
I was mad when they killed my unborn child.

Kyaaaaaaa!  Not the child!!   :mon scare:  I wonder how they even achieved that...If Ai got turned while pregnant wouldn't her child become immortal too?  If they killed her child before hand...then when did her lover get a chance to turn her?   :mon dunno:

Oh but then does that mean Raven becomes her pyro child?...since she does have magical powers and all?  Hmm...I wonder if that would work...they both seem so young...well Raven seems the same age or older (cause she acts less savage) while Ai chan seems more like a baby vamp right now XD  Well I guess the more straightforward scenario would be that Ai chan turns someone and takes them in later on in the story....but you know me...I've always been curious about the little pyro XD

Since I don't remember any women hunting Ai chan in Gegenschein proper...I wonder if Raven and Ai become friends....seems like they are on their way to understanding each other starting with this chapter.  Either that or I would imagine someone dies..either Raven or Summer....and that's why they aren't mentioned in the present XD

Offline Tundra Wind

  • Member+
  • Posts: 115
Re: Gegenschein: The First [22/10 - Tablet IX]
« Reply #62 on: October 22, 2010, 11:42:10 AM »
*twitch* Still Tuna....   :mon runcry: Oh well.

A more linear timeline. Hmmmm, was that it?  :mon huh2: I'd still just say that

:monk gboy: I did good? :mon squee: That's surprising since at least half of the comment was just random brain barf.

I have a feeling that Raven is still alive during the main Gegenschein but Summer is dead.Hhhhhmmm, would Summer be one of the Sources too? :huhuh Wait, Reina was a 4th generation Noble.... 3, 2, 1.... Assuming that Raven is Reina's sire, Summer is not a Source but she's in the same generation as Ai? Now I question who Ai's fledgling is. Will her fledgling even make an appearance or will she only appear in the main Gegenschein?

Ggaaahhh, my eyes just gave me signs that I should sleep so I'll actually continue commenting tomorrow.


Quote
"Then, you are aware of what you are?" That was disturbing. Most others did not know what they were, much less who they were before the change, but this one seemed to retain a great degree of self awareness. That was very rare indeed.
Will we get an example of one of these "monsters" that aren't aware of what they are?

Quote
"Bits and pieces. I know what you are, Night Walker, born of the blood of my kind." Those large eyes grew unfocused, distant. "I see things, people...I don't remember them, but I know things..."
Night Walker and Day Walker together? It's like each vampire lineage has its own little specialities.  :P So what does Ai remember then and what does she see?

Quote
"Oh, I must be. I have to be. Mad! Such a word!" She twirls on the spot, unheeding of the fact that she could plummet to her death with the slightest miscalculation.

"I have been mad." Her voice was low, steady all of a sudden as she came to an abrupt halt. As if imparting a great secret, she continues.
  :cry: Damn, I love her.

Quote
"I have nothing left to live for. Those responsible for my Master's death are dead by my hand. There is no longer any meaning for my existence. I should have died when He did."
Wait... When did she get revenge? Did I forget something again?

Quote
She chokes in that suffocating grip; it is perhaps fortunate she does not need air anymore.

"Because..." She gasps. "Because your hunt is not yet over."
Random question: Why gasp when you don't have to breathe? Human habit?

Quote
"I have seen things. The reasons for which the Immortals are hunted by those they protected...the reason your Master was killed...are you not interested why?"
Lately, my brain seems to be slacking off at making connections. :P Certain parts of the story are popping into my head again. If I remember correctly, Raven was part of the tribe/group/whatever that Baram was in. So you did already write about Ai getting revenge? She killed off the village that took her in after her clan was killed.

Quote
Now she had her fierce hunter by her side, and that made any possible pursuit by the rank and file of those damnable humans laughable in terms of danger posed to their combined forces. Summer recognized that Raven was one of the most gifted of her generation, and the second awakening she had bestowed on her had merely opened her mind to a different world.
Darn, I was kinda hoping that Ai was Raven's sire. Wait, was Raven already turned before Ai killed off that group? If yes, then when did Summer show up?... *tries to reach into memory pool*.... Nope. Not working.

Quote
It was almost too untenable a risk to take, but take it she must. Summer clenched her fists. That man had ruined everything, destroyed her gods -- though she hated them for turning her into what she is now, she knew that it was for a good cause. Her fellows had scattered because of the traitor, and she knew that there could not be many of them left.
Hhhhmmm, Summer wants revenge for something? I almost want to say that Summer is the little girl from the mine that got marked but then you mentioned a staid existence and the Nile. Thinking... Thinking... Gah, I can't remember if you've written anything that might be the answer to my question.


Mmmmmm, I like being confused.  :mon inluv: This story is like solving a jigsaw puzzle. It better not be one of those puzzles that piss me off because I find out a piece is missing in the end.  Questions, questions, so many questions. :mon rush:
« Last Edit: October 24, 2010, 09:59:38 AM by Tundra Wind »

Offline oddball

  • ecchi
  • Member+
  • Posts: 781
  • Off in the woods........
Re: Gegenschein: The First [22/10 - Tablet IX]
« Reply #63 on: October 22, 2010, 01:51:19 PM »
Hmm definatly an intresting insight into a bit of tyhe background between Raven and Summer.

I kinda noticing a similarity here between Raven and the abomonation they are chasing, Raven seems to have her fellings much more under control now, I suspect mainly thanks to Summer? However it seems as though summer fears what Raven may become if she ever realizes her ture power, it seems as though Summer has a mixture of respect, freindship and fear for Raven!

Also Kind of got the feeling that you were hinting that Summer was also like Raven once herself, a turned abomination, brought back to fight abominations themeslves.....

Offline rndmnwierd

  • Subleader of Tsunku's Army
  • ecchi
  • Member+
  • Posts: 4824
  • What has been seen cannot be unseen.
Re: Gegenschein: The First [22/10 - Tablet IX]
« Reply #64 on: October 22, 2010, 03:49:30 PM »
So Summer's hunting for the traitor who started the whole thing? :huhuh What was the thing that was started? :?

What I do know for certain is that she's intrigued Ai enough to join her and Raven!! :D And I'm so looking forward to some more Ai Raven interaction. I'm beginning to get the feeling that Raven is related to Reina in some way. Again, though, Summer is the question. Better behind the scenes and in the shadows, pulling strings to get her way. Mayhaps things will not end well for her.

Offline kawaii beam

  • ecchi
  • Member+
  • Posts: 2142
  • Taka+Gaki=EPIC X3
Re: Gegenschein: The First [22/10 - Tablet IX]
« Reply #65 on: October 23, 2010, 12:14:14 AM »
lol so creppy's still there...ok XD and i will be glad to find out why she is so bad ^^; eh, mistery's good when it comes to u ^^

ok so let me get this straight...ai talked to summer and now she's with her and raven?? *gasps* oh my god! XD i cant wait to see  what's gonna happen next X3 and i feel so bad for her whenever she talkes about the baby D:*goes to cry in a corner*
please visit kawaii-chan's avie's and siggies!

Offline Beecubed

  • Charmy Follower 4 Life. <3
  • ecchi
  • Member+
  • Posts: 682
  • I am of IshiYoshi faith.
Re: Gegenschein: The First [22/10 - Tablet IX]
« Reply #66 on: November 16, 2010, 05:39:20 PM »
So, I decided to regrow a brain and the first thing I was drawn to was this thread...  :lol:

YAY for major catch up!
 :onioncheer:

Are you having some kind of writer's block again, Essy?  :P
You haven't updated in a while, but no matter. You just take your time and write when it suits you... forced writing can be messy and ineffective, and we certainly don't want to be any more confused as it is...

At least I don't want to be, I can see some of the other readers already beginning to piece things together...  XD

Am I that slow? Unobservant?
I mean, I did do the dreaded Literature as a subject in Yr 12 and passed with flying colours after all, I shouldn't be having such trouble with a mere fanfic  :sweatdrop:
I want to be getting things like that *clicks fingers*, you know? But you're not allowing me that satisfaction with all your time travelling and skipping about! *shakes fists*

Lol, it's okay, Essy. It's actually a good kind of frustrating. Hopefully by the end of this, I'll be enlightened in some way and not just left with a shamble of passing thoughts and events. ^___^

And by the way, as I was reading through the last few chapters, I was wondering if you had all this stuff planned ages ago, while you were writing the main Gegenschein? Or had you only begun to develop a context afterwards? Just curious! :)


Onwards!


Tablet V


Backstory to Ai's master?

So... he was just born like that? Inhuman? A vampire? Are we even talking vampires here?  :lol:
'Coz this Almighty dude who turned Ai, I'm not even sure what exactly he was now. So he was never turned and was simply born a powerful, godly vampire? Again, are we even talking vampires?

LOL....

Wow, hungry and primitive Ai-chan (now this has got to be Ai-chan, right?) described very well. The contrast from these raw images to the Seirei we now know is jaw dropping. Gives you such a staggering sense of how much time has passed, how much our Lady Vamp has been through.  :shocked

Those ending thoughts... when your existence brings only hatred and destruction... what to live for?
Ai-chan... how very lonely.  :cry:


Tablet VI


Great chapter! Contained awesome description. Please up the gore level (do any of you other guys mind?  :P), that would really make the readings even more delicious to savour  :grin:


Quote
It was also then that she realized she had found something to do for the rest of her life, long as it would probably be, whether she liked it or not.

Raven finds her purpose in Ai? Is it like some kind of quiet war raging between these two? Fuelled by some competitive streak? At least, for Raven it seems like that could be the case.

[THE NEXT SCENE WHEN AI-CHAN LETS LOOSE]

I like, I like! Imagining a little beauty like Ai-chan completely wreaking havoc on a bunch of fully armed men... go go, girl! Even if it was the wrong group she got...

And neat idea, with the ability to gain memories and impressions from tasting the blood...  :w00t:

I'm... I'm starting to see things? Lol... okay, so here's another attempt to make some connections:

Ai-chan killed Raven's group (with the Barak dude) because that's the group that she's been looking for all this time. They're the ones who killed her master? But why? Did they seek to destroy Him, or Ai? Or the child in Ai? Was she an abomination even before being turned?  :?

As for who slaughtered Raven's tribe, that is still up in the air for questioning, right? The murderers, somehow connected to Ai-chan as well?


Tablet VII


Summer...

A new appearance xD

Summer and Raven are an interesting duo to read. Raven the supposed 'fledgeling', yet Summer seems to be quite wary of her. It's kind of cute, what's going on here.  :love:

Well, Raven really does remind me of Reina, especially while reading this chapter. It's in her petulance, her edge, her willingness 'to spit destiny in the face and then stomp all over it' as you so nicely put it.

Raven might be Reina's master?


Quote
That thing was dangerous. The ones she had seen before were all half-mad, horribly deformed in mind and body. It had been a mercy to end their lives for them, brought back incompletely as they were. As it were, they had been a plague on mankind.

Ai-chan, the Wild One as it seems, brings some kind of plague with her? How so?

What makes her such an abomination? But why is she such a pretty little thing at the same time?  :lol:


Quote
Summer wondered just how mad she really was, even as she deliberately led Raven astray

How so? ...

...


Quote
She went expecting a monster. She left behind her a woman in mourning.


Hah?

Because of all the skipping around in time, I'm kind of confused by this now... I have thoughts, but I'll keep them to myself for now. I might sound like an idiot if I blabber any more than I should...  :nervous


Tablet VIII


Another chapter I really enjoyed!  :wub:

Aisha... awwwww. Cute name... hehee. The beginning description of her connection to the landscape around her was  :heart:

Ai // Raven confrontation!  :shocked:

I really do love it when you give us action; your details are great. ^__^


Quote
"You are...different."

They finally realise Ai-chan is more than some deformed abomination? And have to pay her more respect henceforth?

Is Ai-chan really even one? Or is everybody just mistaken? A have a feeling she might just be misunderstood or something..  :nervous


Quote
Off in the distance, Summer watches, her face twisting into an unflattering mask. Raven was hers, not someone else's. She would not share her fledgling with anyone, much less someone like that.

Uh oh.  XD

Raven is probably going to get attached to Ai, and Summer's going to suffer jealousy-induced fits until she snaps and attempts to finish off Ai, and thus meets her demise... lol...


Tablet IX


...

Okay, so what is Ai again? xD

Lol, so many hints and suggestions, but nothing explicitly put out in the open yet. Her existence is forbidden... she is an abomination, a plague to the world.
Why again?
How has Ai gained herself such an infamous/despicable rep?


Quote
"You're not the only one with a vendetta."


Yay for this imminent combination of forces.

Summer doesn't really appreciate Ai's presence does she? Not when Raven is that interested in her. Probably sees Ai as useful for the time being (for her revenge?), or is hoping for Raven to turn on her one day when Ai least expects it or something.

There is going to be some kind of betrayal though, right? You mentioned that somewhere in one of the previous chapters, I have no idea...

There's still a lot to piece together, but I'm kind of getting a clearer picture. I hope. xD
Thanks for the brain stimulating reads, I needed that.  :thumbsup

... and just wanted to say, all these chapters were written so beautifully  :heart:

You really have a way with words, Essy. Great stuff.  :on GJ:


You promise by the end of this, you will provide us with an author's commentary for each chapter?  :lol:
LOL. I think that would be very insightful. At the very least, it would give us a little peek into how your brain works.  XD

THANK YOU FOR THE UPDATES AND LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEXT ONE!~  :heart:

Offline kRisZ

  • ecchi
  • Member+
  • Posts: 1325
  • ...shiawasekai...
Re: Gegenschein: The First [22/10 - Tablet IX]
« Reply #67 on: November 20, 2010, 03:05:21 PM »
Ai had an unborn baby?!  :shocked  which reminds me... there's something that's been bothering me for months... was there an Ai Jr. in the new book or was it just my imagination? I still can remember I said to myself 'Oh she has a child' when I read one of the chapters but I could be wrong :grin:

JPHiP Radio (17/200 @ 128 kbs)     Now playing: Love Psychedelico - Your Song