Baby StepsRiho was confused.
Such a state was not particularly rare for any child in a hectic educational environment. Or really, in any kind of environment. Adults grow up to be perpetually confused, not that they would ever admit it. Children, at least, are more honest about their own feelings.
The facts of the matter were clear, really. She had (unintentionally) run away from home, been found by Tanaka-san, and ended up staying over at her place. Waking up to find Mama by her side had been a surprise, though Riho felt a vague sense of betrayal at Tanaka-san for that. Tanaka-san wasn’t
supposed to tell Mama where she was. It broke all the rules of running away! Not that she had been planning to run away. But it was the principle of the thing!
However, it was good to see Mama again, even if the sudden bursting into tears flew against all established convention. Riho prided herself on being practical and in control of her own emotions. To find out that she could be exactly as emotional as Mama came as a shock.
Not that it really mattered. She
was only twelve. She could get away with it. Or so she reassured her ego later, when no one was looking.
But back to the matter of her confusion. As far as she knew, Mama and Tanaka-san had only really met that one time on Mothers' Day when they had all gone out together. Riho hadn't really been paying much attention at the time, but she definitely noticed how familiar Tanaka-san and her normally aloof Mama were acting around each other.
It wasn't anything they said, really, at least not in front of her. In a sudden flash of clarity, Riho noticed how Mama would often glance affectionately at some little thing Tanaka-san said or did, as if she knew precisely it was how Tanaka-san would act.
And then there was the matter of Tanaka-san herself, of course. Riho had very good eyes, so she knew how Tanaka-san looked at other people. Her mentor could be intense and focused at work, or with people who had something to teach her. If someone was unknown or of little interest to her, her gaze would pass over them as if they were completely insignificant. If such people approached her, she would watch with wary indifference, ready to harden to outright suspicion or hostility.
Tanaka-san could also look amused or angry or excited under the right circumstances, and her eyes often softened with exasperated affection even when she was speaking disparagingly of Michishige-san. Riho liked to think that Tanaka-san sometimes looked at her with approval, though that in itself was rare and a moment to be savored when earned. Mostly she was subject to amused looks or exasperated sighs, and was more than once on the receiving end of sharp criticism that she knew was for her own good.
That the fiery and independent Tanaka-san now looked to her Mama for some sort of approval baffled Riho. Tanaka-san was more successful in life than her Mama, even though Riho loved her mother dearly and thought her wonderful at everything. Yet Tanaka-san seemed to subtly defer to her Mama in a way Riho couldn't quite put her finger on.
It just felt odd to her. Like there was something going on that she couldn't quite understand. Adults were strange, she reiterated to herself, not for the first time, and certainly not for the last. She resolved to do better when she grew up.
Practical resolutions aside, Riho had other concerns. It was the day before her birthday, and Mama had inexplicably shipped her off to Tanaka-san for some reason. Well, they had done it really well, and Riho shouldn't have suspected a thing, but she just had to overhear a certain phone conversation which made her more than a little suspicious.
They had been at the office, with Riho practicing her signature for an event and Tanaka-san working on something else. Riho had gone for a break some time in between, and on her way back she had overheard Tanaka-san on the phone.
"Yes yes, it'll all go to plan. Don't worry, I'll take care of her. Quit worrying. Yes I remember. No, really. You better not forget what you promised me. Kay. Yes, yes...fine...I'll be there."Taken on its own the conversation could have meant nothing, but when Tanaka-san asked her oh-so-casually if she wanted to go out after work and maybe have a sleepover at her place later, Riho started connecting the dots. Especially when she phoned Mama for permission and the permission had been given with barely any fuss.
That alone would have been fishy, really. Mama had never been a great liar, though she would have taken Tanaka-san at her word had the other factors not been as obvious.
As it was, Riho's suspicions were already aroused, and the convenient placement of her birthday gave her enough of a clue to the motive for such a deception. She was willing to go along with it though. Even if knowing that there
was going to be a surprise party made it less of a surprise, not knowing
what the surprise was retained enough of an element of mystery to keep her on her toes in pleasant anticipation.
Besides, Tanaka-san was good company. And she bought Riho lots of things, usually clothes. If there was one thing both of them enjoyed, it was shopping. Mama liked it too, but they always had budget restraints. Tanaka-san though, had few such qualms. She was living the single life, raking in big bucks, and spent little enough of what she earned on frivolous things (except clothes, one could never have too many as an idol). She also invested wisely, as she told a boggled Riho once, and had offered to teach Riho how to make her money work for her in the future. Riho was looking forward to that lesson. Mama deserved a better life, and Riho was going to make sure she could give Mama everything she ever wanted once her career got on track.
When Mama arrived earlier to drop off spare clothes and other necessities for a sleepover, Riho had caught a moment of whispering the two adults, something about chocolate. Riho hoped her cake was chocolate. She couldn't wait for her birthday already.
Then Mama had hugged her, and in the wake of her departure, Riho started pondering how she was going to be able to sleep tonight without clinging on to something. Her cat naps didn't count; she could fall asleep anywhere, anytime during those naps. But when she bedded down for the night, she usually had to sleep curled around something and clinging tightly on to them...usually Mama. Well, she was going to be
officially twelve tomorrow, so she had better get started on this whole sleep independence thing. Maybe that's why Mama shipped her off to Tanaka-san. To get used to sleeping alone.
But then why not Konno-san? Aunt Konno was a friend of Mama's for a lot longer, and it would make sense for Konno-san to babysit Riho -- she had done so before, and hilarity ensued. Perhaps that was why she didn't get the job often. Riho still remembered how red Mama went when a little Riho asked her innocently about a vagina, after Konno-san's attempt to teach her about the female reproductive system with a chart. She hadn't seen Konno-san for about a week after that, and the bruises hadn't
quite faded when she showed up at their house again.
Alright, so maybe Konno-san was off that list. Niigaki-san then? "Gaki-san's reliable", Mama had always said so. But she seemed like the busy sort, so maybe it would be inconvenient? Riho wasn't sure. The few times that she had ended up under Niigaki-san's care, they usually went to Disneyland (not really her idea, but not such a bad place to visit) or stayed in watching, what else, Disney movies. Riho had a feeling Niigaki-san was quite aggrieved with her about those movies though. Maybe it was Mama's influence, but for some reason or other Riho usually ended up pointing out logical loopholes in the movies and over-rationalizing things in general. After a particularly interesting session while watching Beauty and the Beast, Riho was sure Niigaki-san had words with Mama. Very loud, indignant words about how Mama was ruining her childhood. Riho wasn't sure what she meant by that. Surely an interest in the original version over Disney's adaptation couldn't be that much of a sin. Besides, Riho didn't like Gaston. He was the bad guy and meant to be disliked, yes, but did he have to be so annoying?
So that ruled out Niigaki-san. Sort of. Riho couldn't think of anyone else Mama would trust enough to drop her off with. And that, Riho suddenly realized, was what really bothered her. Mama trusted Tanaka-san enough to leave her only daughter with her. Even when Riho had had school field trips, Mama still made her call her daily to report back on her safety. Riho still did so out of habit, if only to spare Mama from worrying herself sick over her. But Mama didn't say a word whenever Riho said that she was out with Tanaka-san, except to ask where they were going or what they were doing, and what time to expect her back home.
Riho couldn't figure out what would make her worrywart of a Mama trust a semi-stranger so implicitly. Surely it couldn't be that Mama was so blinded by her fandom as to hand her own daughter over without protest. Riho had noticed that Mama didn't seem particularly awed by Tanaka-san's presence. Or even Michishige-san's, for that matter. She had been wary though, if Riho's memory was accurate. That in itself was odd. It wasn't like those two celebrities were going to bite her head off. They
were rather nice people, even if Michishige-san gave her the heebie-jeebies sometimes. Riho didn't particularly appreciate being made to feel even smaller than she already was, which Michishige-san did on a regular basis with surprise bear hugs whenever they met. Riho had had to keep planning escape routes, to Tanaka-san's amusement. At least her cat-like mentor was not so cruel as to abandon her to her predatory cousin. Riho needed every advantage she had to stay ahead of the game.
At the very least, she was definitely ahead in this particular game. Riho had to try very hard to not smirk when Tanaka-san threw down her cards for the umpteenth time with a scowl. It seemed like her mentor was a sore loser, and Riho was gracious enough in victory to not rub it in. Not gracious enough to stop winning, but well. She hated losing even more, and Mama certainly didn't raise her to be a loser.
Tanaka-san was really adorable when she was sulking. Riho hid a smile at the pout on her mentor's face. Even better, the friendly cat called King was firmly planted in her lap. After a few attempts to coax her disloyal pet back to her, Tanaka-san gave up and called him "a damn traitor". King only opened one eye, gave his erstwhile mistress a dismissive glance, and continued purring as Riho stroked him. Riho found that absolutely hilarious, though she had sense enough to not laugh aloud.
Despite her show of injured pride, Tanaka-san seemed to get over it quickly enough, and Riho found herself breaking her decorum to first giggle, then laugh her head off, at the stories Tanaka-san told of her school days. Her descriptions of a teenage Michishige-san was sufficient to send Riho into a fit of hysterical laughter.
"And did you know, she used to stalk Ai all the time and was like the president of her fanclub back in school?" Tanaka-san snorted again, but Riho just stared at her with wide eyes. The older idol paused, realizing what she just said.
"You knew Mama back when you were in school?" Riho asked slowly, unable to believe her ears. Tanaka-san looked like she was going to facepalm any moment now.
~*~*~
"Uh...yes, well, she was our senpai." Reina looked at Riho with a growing dread. She had let her guard down too easily around the damn kid. She wasn't usually so trusting, for god's sake! What a stupid slip of the tongue.
The kid looked fascinated by the idea. Clearly, Ai had not told her daughter anything from those days. Reina watched carefully as a look of realization dawned on the kid's face. What had the brat figured out now? Damnit, was the kid just too smart or what? Reina was sure Ai was a lot more dense in comparison. If the woman's claims were true though, Riho must have gotten the quick wittedness from her. Talk about being done in by her own cleverness.
"So that's why Mama seemed familiar with you! You must have been friends, yes?" Riho seemed happy, like she had finally figured out something that was bothering her. Reina couldn't help the smirk that touched her lips at that. She had been friends and a lot more with Ai. Not that she could tell the kid. Things were awkward enough as they were, without any added complications.
"Well yes, we were. Sort of." Reina cast her thoughts back to the beginning. They certainly hadn't hit it off immediately, or met in quite a normal way. Not that she would tell Riho that she met Ai while she was out doing compensated dating on the streets, and that a drunk Ai had latched on to her in a fit of moral superiority and tried to get her to give up working the streets. No, definitely not a story to tell anyone, much less someone who was possibly their kid.
"She got on my nerves at first, so I wouldn't say we hit it off immediately." Reina said carefully, with a hint of a smile at the memories that flooded her. Riho looked fascinated by the topic, so Reina gave her the barest sketch of their school days, leaving out the more incriminating details.
"Was Mama really that popular?" Riho asked, her eyes wide. Reina grinned.
"Popular? Maybe not in the way you're thinking. But everyone knew who she was, though they didn't crowd around her. She was, well, intimidating to approach." Reina flopped back on the couch, idly scratching at one leg. "Your Mama was amazingly talented. If she hadn't disappeared entirely, she would be as successful as I am, maybe even more."
"But I happened." Riho said quietly. The kid looked guilty about it, her hands kneading her knees as she bowed her head. King meowed questioningly, and Riho rubbed his ears absently as she continued. "Mama gave up everything for me."
"Yes." Reina said bluntly, but her eyes softened kindly as she reached out to lay one hand on Riho's shoulder. "It's not your fault though. You didn't choose to be born. Ai chose you over her dreams. That shows how important you are to her."
She chose you over me, and ran away to raise you. Reina thought with just a hint of bitterness.
If anything, I'm jealous."That's why I want to stand on the stage Mama couldn't." Riho's eyes glittered with determination. "I'll live my own dreams and let Mama live her dreams through me too. I'll make her proud."
Reina smiled wistfully, ruffling Riho's hair affectionately. "You're a good kid." Riho flushed in embarrassment, covering her face to hide it. Reina grinned.
"I'm sure she already is proud of you."
"Really?" Reina nodded.
"She loves you, kid. Don't worry so much. She's never been good at expressing her affection in words. She'll show you in action instead." Reina smiled wistfully.
"You're damn lucky she's your mother."
Riho smiled back proudly. "I know. Mama is the best." She looked closely at Reina.
"You really seem to know Mama very well. You two must have been close." Riho concluded, smiling radiantly at Reina, who flushed at the remark, though she added nothing save for a quiet cough.
Their conversation became general after that, and Riho soon showed signs of exhaustion. As before, Reina directed the kid to her bed, fully prepared to either take the couch or just lay out a futon for herself. She wondered at the irony of that. No one else had been in her bed before, and she didn't even let anyone sit on it normally. But here she was letting some kid get in for the second time within a week. That had to be a record of some sort.
"Any birthday wishes from the birthday girl?" Reina asked as she tucked the little girl in. It was nearly midnight, and Riho's eyes were drooping.
"Can't say, it won't come true otherwise..." Riho mumbled, clinging on to the extra pillow Reina gave her. "But since you asked...I want my Papa to come back." She dropped off between one word and the next, and Reina was left staring at the kid.
"Silly girl, I'm already here." Reina whispered impulsively, planting a soft kiss on her kid's forehead and smoothing away the stray strands. She still had her doubts about Ai's tale, but Reina couldn't deny the growing sense of kinship with the kid. Perhaps the effect was psychological from everything Ai kept telling her, but Reina trusted her instincts. She could not help but feel the growing sense of protectiveness over the little kitten curled in her bed, and wondered if that wasn't Ai's real motive for letting Riho spend increasing amounts of time with her.
Not that Reina minded in particular. It meant that she got to see more of Ai in general, though there was still a small awkwardness between them. The habit of suspicion ran deep, and Reina was more paranoid than most. She couldn't help it. Ai had left her once before. It was difficult to build that same level of trust again overnight.
Time for all things, and patience in them, she supposed. Reina tried to remove her arm, but found it stuck in Riho's death grip in sleep. After a few unsucessful attempts with muttered curses, Reina gave in and crawled into bed next to the little tyrant.
It was strange sleeping next to anyone. Reina felt herself curl protectively around the brat in her arms. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted King, who seemed to be sporting a knowing sort of gleam in his eye. Reina decided to not think about it.
Let the events of tomorrow be resolved as they come.
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My disclaimer here is that I wrote without really thinking about it, so I apologize for the long digressions and random spiralling-off in my thought processes.
More to come. This story isn't quite over yet.