Sakanatachi No Love Song
PROLOGUE
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1
The tension in the room seems to duplicate once the countdown timer on the screen reaches the number zero and now is beeping loudly to indicate its success in doing the task.
“Detaching the brain from the main control.”
The square tablet flickered as one of them operating it in a rapid manner.
“It’s finished. The brain is now operating out of main control commands. She should be able to wake up any moment.” The one with long dark hair in ponytail said. Each of her hands is inside her coat side pockets, trying to contain the nervousness.
“Heartbeat rate is stable. The breathing pattern is a bit lower than the average sleeping pattern but still normal.”
They had come a long way to reach this point. She observed the other person who had just finished checking the project condition. She stood not more than 3 steps away from her, she looks calm and collected, with her eyes fixated to observe the project, calmly waiting for it's- no- her movement. Long before the project begins, she had already admired the other woman, who actually is two years younger than her but could stand above her when it comes to maturity in her way of handling a problem.
“Isn’t she taking too long?” Another scientist said. She also had her hair tied in a similar manner with the first one, she doesn’t even try to hide her impatience as she’s tapping her fingers on the monitor table, making a fast-paced tapping sound. She’s acting unlike herself but the fact that their subject is somewhat related to the one that’s dear to her managed to easily cut her patience short.
“Should we check on her? Maybe, there’s a problem.” The youngest of them all said. Her shoulder length hair softly waved as she stepped closer to the glass which separates the five of them from the subject. She looked at the other people behind her, but none of them said anything.
Huffing on slight irritation on how her subordinates did not pay any attention to her suggestion, she decided to take the matters into her own hands and walked to the door that led inside that clean white room where the test subject lay on the bed which looks a lot more like a huge table than a normal bed. But before she could turn the door knob open, another buzzing sound came from one of the several monitors in the room.
She halted.
“07:14 Project Shiraishi Mai is completed.”
AN :
Hi, I’m new here! Yoroshiku onegaishimasu~ I'm actually not a native english speaker which is why I'm going to say sorry for the mistakes.
Also, This is not my first fanfic and I actually have 2 other on-going fics atm, but this is the only one for Nogizaka46 whom I got obsessed with since 2 months ago. Regarding this story, I have finished the first chapter and in the middle of the second, but I'm going to re-check the first one first before posting it (I'm probably going to post it later today or tomorrow). I also haven't built the plot completely which is why the update for this story is going to be slow.
As you can see this is based on Sakanatachi No Love Song mv hence the name. I hope you can enjoy it and please do tell me what do you think of this :)
AN: in honor of Shiraishi Birthday I present a special one shot, this one has SayuMai paring and also Shiraishi Hashimoto platonic friendship. I hope you can enjoy this one
Shiraishi Mai Birthday Special One-Shot
You know that the earth is really messed up when it’s raining heavily on summer season. Even worse when she clearly remember how the weather forecast said that the day will be bright and shiny. While the truth it’s started to rain in like 20 minutes after the morning weather forecast show ended.
She’s not going to complain though, since she herself is pretty much a stayed at home person. In fact, the rain does help her to give a reason for simply cozying up in front of the television, with her legs below the warm kotatsu, laughing loudly at the idol variety show that is airing.
Something that she-Shiraishi Mai considers as enjoying her life.
“Seriously, don’t you want to go out and have fun?” the sound beside her interrupt her laughing fit.
“Where? It’s still raining outside, why do you want to kick me out so much?” She questioned back, frowning at her roommate irritating question.
“I’m not kicking you out. I’m just saying that today is your birthday, yet here you are by your lonesome laughing at some stupid tv show. As your best friend and roommate, I’m worried.”
She looked at the half eaten red velvet cake on the table. The said best friend and her girlfriend had actually baked that by their own, made a little celebration for her straight after she came back from her modeling gig. The girl knows well how she doesn’t actually like a big celebration- and she’s grateful for her consideration to her liking, yet the other girl couldn’t stop talking about how she should celebrate her birthday.
“I’m not alone. I have you and Maimai. It’s enough for me.” She answered, her gaze move to the later who’s laying on the other girl’s lap, from her position she couldn’t see her face clearly because she’s facing the opposite side of her, but for the soft breathing, she could tell that the older girl has fallen asleep.
“Aw, that’s really cute and touching. But think about it, most of the girl in your position would spend their birthday having fun at the club, get some drinks and try to find someone to spend their birthday with. You know, so they will feel less lonely.”
She was tempted to punch that roommate of hers. It was bad enough to feel like a third wheel all the time with her subtle flirting with her girlfriend and now she dares to put Shiraishi Mai single status on the table too. Just for the record, she doesn’t hate Maimai, she’s fond of her and couldn’t help but feel happy that her roommate who’s also her best friend since her childhood days has finally found someone as amazing as the 25 years old.
“Thanks for reminding me of my status. But I’m happy with what I am now and not even interested in one night kind of thing- seriously how insensitive can you be? You know how much I despise one night fling. Say a thing about that again and I’ll be the kind of roommate that walks in every time you’re going to do the sinful deed with your girlfriend. About the drinks, it’s not like I don’t want them but you wouldn’t let me.”
“Yep. No drinking in front of the TV on your birthday night. This is my place too, so I add a rule.” She said with a winning look, knowing that the birthday girl is not going to win on this matter.
“Hmph- Nanamin such a spoilsport.” She pouted cutely while widening her eyes.
“Not going to fall for that look. You’ll thank me later, Shi-chan.” She said, calling her with how people call her back in her preschool days. “Like seriously, you don’t want to get drunk on your birthday and ended up kissing our neighbor thinking that she’s Matsumura-san while the truth is she’s actually that Akimoto girl that you hates so much, don’t you?”
“I love how imaginative you could be when it comes to what ifs. Just so you know, I don’t hate that Akimoto girl, she’s just not the kind I would bother with. I mean, even this late at night she’s still blasting that awful music out-loud.”
Actually, it is not that disturbing, but it’s still audible from her place which is 2 doors away from the source. So it must be pretty loud.
“She’s celebrating her birthday too, stop being so bitter over someone having fun.” Nanamin chuckled. “Why don’t you go there? We actually got invited too.”
“Why would I go inside that creature’s den?”
“Because next door Matsumura-san is probably there too.” She gave her friend a look of disbelief.
Well, it’s true that she’s been having a pretty huge crush on Matsumura- ever since the said girl gave her a baked cheesecake as a ‘Hi Neighbor’ present upon moving in from Osaka. But to tell the truth, she doesn’t actually know the girl that well, apart from being friends on Facebook and following each other on Instagram and her liking almost every selfies the girl posted while refraining herself from commenting and embarrass herself.
Oh- and she does give the girl some presents which she will carefully pick whenever she come back from her parent’s house in Gunma.
Of course, this doesn’t escape her roommate's eyes. It’s really annoying how easy the other girl figure that out while it took her more than 5 months and several secret and not so secret visits to find out that she is in a relationship with someone. She had even believed that Maimai was a friend that’s sleeping over to work on a university project, which is a total lie because Maimai isn’t even in the fine arts department like Nanamin does.
“Stop it, I’m not going to enter that hell just to meet Sayurin.”
“Look who’s finally on a first name basis. Does she allow you to call you that? Or you’re just calling her like how her best pals call her on the social media.”
Something inside her snapped as she grabbed the seating pillow next to her and proceed to attack Nanamin with it. Resulting the girl to fall to the other side and woke Maimai up in progress.
“What happened?” Maimai asked, she looks a little bit drowsy, courtesy of being abruptly awoken from the slumber.
“Your girlfriend is being a shitty roommate. That’s what happened.” She curtly answered while covering the roommate face with the pillow.
“Oi, oi can- not- breathe”
She lifted up the pillow a little letting the girl breathe before proceeding to attack her again. Nanamin started to attack back, she swiftly avoids her attempts and slowly turning the side of the game into the one which she’s in the advantageous position.
“Maimai, you should go to the room first, I’ll be there after this.” She said while sitting on Shiraishi legs, both of her hand pinning the birthday girl to the floor to prevent her from making any moves. If another person sees that they probably would have thought that they’re doing something wrong, but since Maimai already knows their antics she just sighed and give Nanamin a little peck on her left cheek before going to her girlfriend room. She also did give Shiraishi a quick look of apology for not helping her situation.
Knock knock knock.
That’s when they hear a knock on the front door. Both of the girls look at each other with questioning looks. She’s sure that she doesn’t invite anyone to come tonight, even more at this time. But the look on Nanamin face is saying that it’s not her guest either.
Knock knock.
“Wait for sec” she shouted while trying to get away from Nanamin, the other girl is thankfully letting her do so as she nods to the door, a signal for her to be the one who open the door.
She was surprised when she sees none other than Matsumura Sayuri waiting as she opens the door. The neighbor hair is pulled up in a slightly messy bun and she dressed up in a plain gray tee with a white shorts she wore a pretty worn beige cardigan. Even with that kind of clothes, she’s looking cute and beautiful as always.
The birthday girl fingers unconsciously went up to comb her hair, hoping that she looks presentable enough after that messy brawl with her roommate.
“Um… Hi! Um…” The neighbor stammered to continue her sentence, which has successfully increase her adorableness to a whole new level.
“Yes?”
“Do you have any sugar? I’m out of stock and not feeling like going out to buy it with this kind of weather.”
Right- the rain. She nodded and look behind her and found Nanamin there with a really weird smile. Before she could say anything she felt a pretty powerful push on her back resulting her to move forward and almost crash into the neighbor.
“What are you-” the sentence is never finished because the door slammed shut behind her followed with a clicking sound of the lock.
“That one is also sweet enough, Matsumura-san. Have a great night!” The culprit said behind the closed door.
“What are you doing? Open the door.” She shouted, knocking the door harshly.
“I’m just helping you to find some good activity to do on your birthday night. Also- it’s been a while since the last time I have the place for myself.”
“Nanamin, what are you doing?” she could hear the faint sound asking from the inside.
“Just helping my friend to make a progress on her stagnant stalker status.”
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING? Maimai, please hit that girlfriend of yours and open the door.” She could feel the heat rising to her cheeks.
And that’s when she hears a soft laugh coming from the girl beside her. The laugh is a bit awkward something that she had never thought will come from the girl, but also something that suits her the best.
“Sorry, it’s just, I don’t have a roommate and seeing you bickering with yours is quite funny.” The girl apologized the corner of her lips is up to form a sincere smile.
“Don’t be sorry, you’re not at fault here.” She said gulping down at the sight next to her. She averted her gaze to the floor when she realized that she has been staring. Not a day has passed since she has turned 24 years old, yet she already acted like an idiot. She scolded herself for that.
“Oi, let me in. Matsumura-san is here for some sugar and I can’t get it with your childish joke.”
“Matsumura-san? That’s not how you call her name. Isn’t it Sayurin?” came the answer from inside.
She feels so embarrassed that she think Nanamin should be grateful that there’s a door to protect her from her wrath. Seriously her jokes are getting unfunny and her hands are itching to strangle her best friend. At least for her. She looked at the girl beside her, but she wasn’t laughing, in fact, she was looking anywhere but her. It was suffocating and awkward.
“Sorry for this. I guess I can’t help you much with the sugar. B- but if you want to go out and buy it. I’m willing to accompany you,” she decide to break the tension, but hearing no response from the girl she quickly added, “only if you feel like doing it, though.”
“It’s okay, it’s just for making popcorn anyway,” she said.
Shiraishi frowned at the answer, not because she had smoothly rejected her offer even though that actually hurts a lot more than it should, but she's kind of confused because she thinks that there are other things that could replace that sugar and most of them will do better for the taste than normal sugar.
“Um.. You see, you can use something else to make popcorn. Like honey, butter and salt.” She said trying not to voice her confusion upon the ingredient that the girl wanted to use.
“Really? I didn’t know that before. Thank you.” Her eyes widened- she’s looking at her as if she had just save her life. “Shiraishi-san, do you want to join me for the popcorn and movie? It looks like your roommate wouldn’t let you in anytime soon.”
“YES,” she was surprised at how loud her voice is, “I mean sure. I would even help you with the popcorn as a thank you.”
Correction. It is more towards a concern that is starting to grow over the neighbor cooking than a simple thank you, but she’s not going to say it out loud. She followed Sayurin into the apartment, gulping down her excitement when she realized that she had never walked past the front door before.
Matsumura Sayuri's place is pretty much different with hers, maybe because it’s a studio type whilst hers is a 2 bedroom apartment. The kitchen is next to the front door facing the bathroom, and after that is a pretty large space that contains everything starting from bed until 2 person dining table. Unlike her who choose to place the television a little bit lower so she could watch it while cozying it up on the kotatsu, Matsumura has a pretty big television hanging on the wall with a proper couch facing it. Besides the television, there are several frames which consist of her family photos and her graduation diplomas also a picture of her with a bunch of other people she doesn’t know standing on a stage with their hands holding a cute tiny anime action figures.
“So how are you doing?” She opened the conversation.
“Tiring, but it means everything is good I guess.” Sayurin laughed,
“What does it like to be a fresh graduate?”
“Stressful, my current job is not related to my degree at all. So it is a bit- you know.” She smiled bitterly remembering her own diploma from Tokyo school of performing arts that is stuffed somewhere back in her drawer.
Sayurin nodded sympathetically while opening the kitchen cupboard taking out a pack of corn along with other ingredients that she had mentioned before.
“Let me help you,” she said when she noticed the other girl struggling to decide which kind of cooking pan she is going to use.
“You really don’t need to,” Sayurin shook her head and place the pan on the stove.
“I insist,” she chuckled before washing her hands in the kitchen sink then started to unwrap the butter, “consider this as my apology for my roommate behavior.”
“If that’s what you want, sure.” Sayurin stepped back letting the guest taking control of the cooking.
“Um.. Shiraishi-san, please do tell me when you get a role, I’ll come to watch your performance.”
She covered the pan with the glass cover then tilted her head a little, “Really? Thank you very much, I’ll make sure to tell you, I’ll try to get you a ticket.”
Now she’s fired up to go into every stage play audition in the city. She give the other girl a big smile just so she understand how much she actually appreciate her interest. “Matsumura-san too, do tell me about your roles, I will definitely watch that.”
Actually, she has gone past her anime lover period, but seeing how the other girl wanting to see her performance has an effect on her.
“I haven’t yet got anything big, just a few supporting characters which appear for a limited time,”she laughs, “Also- you may call me Sayurin, o- only if you want to, though.”
“Then Sayurin, please call me Mai or Maiyan”
“Maiyan,” she said cheerfully, Mai averted her eyes to the cooking pan trying to focus on the popping sound of the popcorn rather than the girl beside her who somehow become even more irresistible in every second.
“So, Maiyan, I was thinking of watching a horror movie. I recently got a supporting role for the dub in its latest series so I want to watch the old one to improve my characterization. If it’s okay with you?”
“Of course, it’s fine. Go ahead.” She says quickly before later starting to scold herself inside.
She’s not good with horror. Not at all. When she was young probably around 8 or 9 years old, there is a story spreads among the students about their school land was used for burying people who died from the war torture.
Then one night little Nanamin managed to drag little Mai who had already dressed up in her pajama to make a quick run from her house to prove the horrifying theory. They met up with a couple of another student in front of their school and decided to pair up, consisting of boy and girl- using the weird logic that the boy will protect the girl in case something happens.
She ended up with a boy which always considered the coolest of them all, after breaking into the building by the window the two of them started their little journey with the boy holding a flashlight that he had brought from home. Well, they actually managed to explore up to the second level of the building which is where suddenly they hear a croaking sound.
Both of them were scared and of course started to run as fast as they can, but unfortunately Mai trousers was a little bit too long, causing her to slipped and fall down and her supposed to be partner wasn’t even looking back when it had happened.
In just a matter of seconds,little Mai is already alone. She crouched down and cried for a time that she couldn’t remember, but it does seem so long until a footsteps came and Nanamin found her.
After that, she has never been able to handle dark places and scary stories, just like how she has never been able to put up with opposite gender.
Back to the present time, she- who had regretted her words a second after saying okay to her beloved neighbor choice of the movie- doesn’t know what to do. Sayurin seems to be so excited throughout the movie, telling her about the character that she’s going to do the voice over and asking her about the opinions of how she should portray her.
The newbie voice actress also commented that the popcorn is really good which she is replied with simple thanks and an offer to have some dinner in her place sometime, of course, she’s the one who will cook for the other girl.
But after a dreadful first quarter of the movie Sayurin had stopped talking and started to focus on the movie while she tried to look anywhere besides the television or the one that sits beside her. Well her eyes did wander to the screen every time her gaze meet the other girl and there are times where the jump scare happened and she accidentally grabbed Sayurin’s arm in reflex. That kind of thing happened a lot and she started to feel guilty because she was genuinely shocked and her response is always to grab the nearest living thing to her. It probably looks like she's doing that on purpose.
“Maiyan, could it be- are you scared?” She asked.
She had her mouth slightly opened while her mind is still deciding whether she should tell the girl the truth or not. She doesn’t like it if people know that she is scared of such things but she also wants to admit that she couldn’t handle watching something gory or scary even more both of them combined.
Before the words could be formed in her mouth the electricity gone out.
“S-sayurin?” She gripped the other girl's hand tightly.
She could feel comforting fingers engulfing hers, “I’m here. I’m going to check the circuit for a moment, okay?”
“No- please don’t leave me,” her grip the other girl hands got even tighter, “I’m… scared”
She had expected the girl to laugh calling out her childish behavior. But she doesn’t. She squeezes her hands back in a comforting and calming way, “Okay. Would you like to check the circuit with me? Or would you rather stay here for a moment?”
Mai had tried to speak she really did, but her mouth just mumbled incoherent words. She tried to remember the last time she has been in this kind of situation and what she did to get over it, but her brain seems to be working so slow.
She could feel the tears started to fall because of her frustration. She always tried to hide it, putting up the cool mask on her face, she hates the fact that she’s actually weak with this kind of simple things and now she’s trying to stop herself from crying.
“Hey, it’s okay Maiyan. I’m here and I won’t leave a cute girl behind.” Sayurin tried to joke when she realized what is possibly happening, she couldn’t see much because the lack of lights, but she tried to guess from how the other girl is keeping her silence and her hands slightly shaking.
With the warmth of Sayurin hold on her hands, she tried to calm herself down, the other girl did not say anything else, just simply letting her took the time.
“You see, today is actually my birthday, yet here I am trying not to cry because my fear of darkness. I’m pathetic, aren’t I? S-sorry for bothering you.” She said after a few minutes of silence.
“I don’t think being scared of something is pathetic, I consider that as a thing that make us humans. I’ve always seen Maiyan as someone perfect, without any flaws, but now I can see that Maiyan is just human- the normal one,” Sayurin chuckled before continuing, “and I like this side of Maiyan.”
“I like you too”
If it hadn’t for the other girl hands holding hers, she would probably had cover her mouth upon realization of what she had blurted out. But the way Sayurin hands are still not moving, is that mean that she’s okay with that?
DING DONG, the sound of the bell echoes inside the dark room.
“I'm the next door Hashimoto, I’m here to get Mai.” She announced.
“We’ll be there in a sec!” Sayurin answered out loud,
“Before you leave, I want to say thank you for putting up with me. Sorry for making you watch that kind of movie,” she continued with a softer tone.
“It’s fine. It’s partly my fault for not stopping you. I hope we can hang out again someday, would you like that?”
“Of course and also there’s another thing-”
Mai had her eyebrows raised when the other girl didn’t fell silent at the end. Then she realized that the other girl is moving closer, and now facing her properly.
That’s when she felt a soft touch on her lips. It was quick, not even 3 seconds long, not enough for Mai to snap out from her confusion and reply to the action. But the sensation lingers a little bit longer.
“Happy birthday Maiyan, I’m sorry for ruining your birthday night.”
“You didn’t ruin it- actually, it’s not even the worst birthday and- and, of course, spending it with you is actually what makes it better. And memorable,” she reasoned her mouth were trying the best to form the sentence without stuttering like an idiot.
She was refraining herself from shouting that the kiss has that effect to boost the day into her most memorable and cherished day.
“I’m glad to hear that,” Sayurin chuckled.
“W-well it’s time for me to go back- Nanamin is already out there waiting and she’s going to tease me senseless if I got her waiting for too long.” She stood up, her fingers are still intertwined with the other girl.
“I’ll walk you to the door,” Sayurin said, standing up and slowly guiding her to the front door, “And also- just for you to know, I like you too.” She said in a soft whisper that is loud enough for only the birthday girl to hear and opened the door.
Just like inside Sayurin’s place the hallway is also dark, it seems like the electricity of the whole building is out. Nanamin was leaning her back against the wall beside the door, playing a game on her phone to help her wait.
“Someone said this happened because Akimoto-san’s party. Seems like one of her guests got too wild and ended up causing a little bit of shorting in the electricity,” Nanamin explained, from her tone Maiyan could sense that she’s quite annoyed with the whole thing.
“I see,” Sayurin replied, “well, let’s hope they’re going to fix it soon.”
“They better be, or I’m going to kill that girl in the morning,” Mai muttered under her breath.
“Maiyan, snapped out of that kuroishi mode, will you? Even though it’s dark and we couldn’t see your expression clearly it’s still terrifying.” Nanamin said.
“hmm.. sure, well so- Sayurin I’m going back to my place, see you later.” She said after getting rid of her anger.
“Okay, see you later, thanks for everything.” She nodded, reluctantly let go of the other girl hands.
“It's fine, I’m really sorry to bother your night, you need to apologize too, Nanamin” Mai replied before using her hand to force Nanamin to bow her head a little bit.
“Why do I need to apologize? What I did actually make you two closer, isn’t it?” she complained, but because Mai is still forcing her to bow she surrender, “sorry.”
“It's fine, you’re not wrong about the getting closer part.”
“See?”
“Well- see you, Sayurin,” Mai said with a wave of her hands before following Nanamin to their own living quarter, she could feel her mouth is forming a wide smile when her brain recounted what had happened between her and Sayurin.
She realized that she had skipped the wishing part before blowing her birthday candles. She takes it as a good thing because now she knows what is it that she truly wanted.
For that kiss to not be the last.
~fin~
SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR MAIYAN :cow:
To be honest, I don't consider writing light stuff as my forte, that's why it got a bit heavy in the middle, but I'm really trying to keep it as light as possible. I hope it will be up to your guys liking. About the pairing I actually ship SayuMai too, I even consider inserting Sayurin in the on-going story so it could become a love triangle kind of thing but I'm still thinking about that.
This turns out to be longer than I thought- in terms of story length and writing time, that's why I'm going to say sorry because the sakanatachi update is still quite far for complete. It probably going to take me another 3 or 4 days to finish it, because I'm stuck with Uni activities.
replies
ミサキ: sakanatachi is NanaMai pair- but this one shot is SayuMai, I hope you can enjoy it :)
pretend_2besome1: I actually love to challenge a genre that has less to none people that wrote. You're right about Kaz. And about NanaMai- this is really confusing, let's just call the nanasexmaiyan NanaMai, while nanaminxmaimai HashiGawa and the nanaminXmaiyan ShiraHashi (I'm bad with name, I'm sorry :bow:). I assure you there will be a pair, they might face challenges ahead but I'm trying to pair them up.
akbcoupleshipper: which Nanamai are you talking about? hehehehe let's just hope the NanaMai that you want is the same with the one I have in mind. Thank you for reading :cow:
CHAPTER VI.5
The Story Of Hashimoto Nanami
“Hashimoto-san?”
“Yes?” Hashimoto turned her body to the caller and find a middle-aged nurse approaching her hesitantly, “is there anything wrong?”
“Not really. It’s just about one of your patient- Saito Asuka. The young girl had requested to talk personally with you- well just the two of you. If you have any spare time.”
The resident doctor raised her eyebrows because that is the first time she had heard a patient wanting to talk to her instead of her attending doctor. Perhaps it’s because Saito case has been trusted into her hand- even it is still fully supervised.
“Sure. Actually, I still have around 20 minutes left before making another round. So, if it is okay with you, Iwase-senpai?” Hashimoto looks to the woman beside her for her approval.
“It’s fine, go ahead. I’ll see you later.”
“It’s decided then. I’m fine going there by my own, thanks for giving me the message,” Hashimoto told the nurse and get a polite nod as a reply before the woman left the doctor in training on her own devices.
The walk towards the hospital intensive care unit is not supposed to be long and it seems shorter now because Hashimoto fast paced steps. She glanced at the patient board briefly to confirm her memory about the patient room before nodded to no one in particular and proceed to a room on the end of one of the ward corridor.
Hashimoto knocked three times before entering the room, not even waiting for the answer to let her in because she knows the occupant most likely not going to give an answer.
“You came,” came the voice from the one on the bed, she sounds a bit surprised and also disbelieved.
“I came,” Hashimoto said feeling a bit puzzled after saying the word, “is there anything wrong, Saito-san?”
“Other than cancer that’s spreading to my brain?” she answered with bitter laughter.
Hashimoto wanted to say something about her obviously bad taste of humor but decided against it. She remembers an article about different ways of people coping with the deadly disease, perhaps the young girl is actually the type that trying to make herself stronger by joking about it.
“I believe you’re not calling me here just to tell me that joke.”
“Of course not. I’m just trying to melt the tension because you always seems so tense all the time- being a doctor must be hard, especially for someone so young like you. I mean I believe you’re not much older than me.”
“Saito-san, you’re changing the subject. It’s not like I don’t want to talk to you, but I don’t have much time.”
The 17 years old sighed and look down on the blanket on her lap, “it’s about the thing in my brain. I want you to remove it.”
For a moment Hashimoto blinked a few times, trying to get ahold of her senses as well as process the words that came out from the girl’s mouth. Hashimoto sighed and slide a chair next to the bed to sit since she realized that it’s not going to be a short talk.
“You see, there’s a reason why I and doctor Iwase never bring that up. The procedure will be too risky for you, the chance for it to be successful is actually less than 5%.”
The thing about never bringing that up is actually a lie, she had talked about it with the young girl’s parent before and both of them said no. It’s understandable, though, she would have done the same if she’s in their shoes.
“But what difference would it make?” Saito sighed and look at the ceiling above her as if her vision could go through it and see the blue sky above, “I’m not going to live much longer anyway and I’ve got nothing to lose.”
“You don’t know that for sure. Well, I think your parents wants you to try to stay a little bit longer, I can’t promise you anything but I’ve seen people who live much longer than what the doctor expects. Doctors are not God, we didn't decide when human dies.”
“And what would I be then? Something is bothering my brain and I’ve read on the internet that soon it would affect me- not just physically but also mentally. This is something that none of you have ever mentioned before, but I’m not going to be upset or put a blame on someone,” she stopped for a moment trying to calm her racing heart, “but you see, I’ve been diagnosed with cancer from around 10 years ago yet I keep going because I enjoy being me. However, this thing inside my head are going to change me in just a matter of time and I don’t want that to happen, I would rather die than living my already pitiful life as someone who is mentally malfunctioned.”
“We don’t know for sure that you’re going to be uh- mentally malfunctioned…”
“But the chance is high, isn’t it? Even for me having some serious mood swing- that’s actually one of the symptoms, isn’t it? I know that, so please just stop hiding the truth. I know that my parents are not to blame and I’m aware that they love me very much but so do I. The surgery is a make it or break it for me, my only solution to prevent myself to turn into someone else. The risk is high but I’d rather die to be myself than someone else that could be nothing but a complete burden.”
That’s the second time the girl had said the ‘I rather die’ statements. Hashimoto starting to think that maybe the girl needs to have a chat with a psychologist instead of her, but then she doubts that even the best of them could change her stubborn demands for a risky brain surgery.
“I already propose the surgery to your parents, but they declined,” Hashimoto said, “this matter is probably something that needs to be discussed with your parents instead of me.”
“But you know how my parents are… They would not listen. Which is why I need you to be on my side, I’ll explain my reason and you are going to recommend the surgery to them once more,” Saito explained her plan looking straight to Hashimoto's eyes- hoping that she would help her.
“Fine.”
The young girl smiled at her- but this time, it is not the sad bitter smile that she had shown throughout their talks but rather a bright genuine one- this time it looks like not only her lips that’s curling into a smile but also her eyes that seems to sparks beautifully to express her gratefulness.
“Thank you.”
If only she knew that was the first and the last ‘thank you’ that she will ever get from the girl perhaps she would stay a little bit longer, that way maybe she could have realized that something was actually wrong and quickly give her an immediate attention. Maybe if she wasn’t so immersed in writing her paper about the probability of moving human consciousness to an artificial body she would have directed her next break to check the girl condition, that way maybe she will find out that her condition is silently heading for the worst.
But she didn't.
And once they finally aware of the girl condition, nothing can be done anymore.
Well, a wise man said that regret only comes afterward and wisest said that only a truly remorseful person will try to avoid making the same mistakes.
Today marks three years after that, yet Hashimoto still remembers that day as if it’s just yesterday. Sometimes she contemplates about her current life and realizes how much that patient has actually shaped her into what she is right now.
Hashimoto sighed then smiled a little before stepping forward to approach the bell grabbing the rope that attach into it and swing it from side to side a few times to ring the bell. Then she stepped inside the building, feeling a little bit lucky that there’s no other visitor besides her. It’s most likely because it is in the middle of the day which is a time that usually is the busiest for everyone, she made a mental note to choose this kind of time in her next shrine visit.
She performed the rituals- bowing twice, clapping twice, silently says a prayer while clasping her hands together in front of her heart- this time, most of them is directed to Saito Asuka. She is hoping that the girl has finally found peace and happiness while feeling sorry for her negligence on inspecting the young girl condition that leads her to not being able to give her the ‘make it or break it’ surgery that girl wanted.
She stared blankly at the holy building interior for a moment before doing a closing bow as a finishing for the routines.
Upon passing the shrine gate she grabbed her phone in her pocket which she had put in silence because she believes it will be rude if it rings inside the holy shrine. Turns out there’s a new mail that came just a few minutes ago, she tapped the touch screen several times to navigate the device to show the mail.
From: Fukagawa Mai
Shiraishi-san still not showing any change even with the medicine dosage increase. The result of how her body digest the pill has come out and it shows that it’s normal. I’ve attach the document in this email. Takayama-san said don’t forget to bring some souvenirs and Sakurai-san asked how long are you going to be in Hokkaido?
Hashimoto free hand unconsciously rubbed her forehead despite of it not being in pain. She contemplated whether to reply to the email right away or later and decide to do the former. Her hands quickly typed the reply which is basically just a simple sentence about her going back to Tokyo in a few hours, she decided that she will check the attachment later when she’s waiting for her plane in the airport.
“Mentally malfunctioned, huh…” she muttered softly, suddenly remember the term that she heard a few years back.
As she took the stairs down towards the main road she wonder what would the young girl said about her subject, is Shiraishi condition right now would be considered mentally malfunctioned as well?
~To Be Continued~
AN:
I'm baaack :cathappy: So, this time, it's about Hashimoto past and what made her who she is right now. I'm really really sorry for killing Ashu please don't hate me :bow:
Right now I'm already half way into working on the next chapter but because of my studies, it could probably take time. Probably.
Anyway, Nogi's 16 single senbatsu announcement is next week and I can't help but to think about it, aaaaaaaaaa I really hope the staff won't pull another Hori kind of push to the third gen :bleed eyes: It's kind of sad whenever I look at where Hori is right now :cry:
Anyway Shiraishi Mai for the next center yeaaahhhh :rock:
replies:
@C:
It’s sad to see how Maiyan tried to be human despite her “living” now.
The story is supposed to be sad after all :twisted:
About Takayama's bait, we'll see about that and WakaRei is the best couple because they're the gayest :deco:
Regarding WakaNana job we'll see about that ;)
I can see Rarin as a good PR, just not a serious one. Same thing as Reika.
Now that you mention it some of the nogis are such a troll that it's hard to see them in a serious setting :tama-piss:
About Maimai being the future mother of HashiGawa child hmmmmm.... Can't promise you anything, though :nervous
I would love to see every yurilicious Nogis MVs, dear staff please keep em coming :wub:
@wakaten
At first, I did write Reika having a ponkotsu moment, then realized with how serious Hashimoto is it will be weird if she's still letting her join after that. So I'm placing the ponkotsu moment away and maybe will put it in if she ever going to have a scene where she's outside of working place :)
And Waka hmm... I can't say whether her job is actually better than Reika or not, perhaps it's better in some ways, I'll explain more in later chapter ;)
I feel like I'm putting Maiyan into hell :mon waterworks: I'm so sorry that I'm not actually sorry
I want more nanamai too :deco: But, sorry this one is more about Hashimoto, NanaMai have to wait for a bit for the story to roll.
if that is gonna happen, then Naa-chan will be center between three of them. someone need to be center anyway..
but well, i love that combination too!! :wub: :wub: btw i love Sukima song with WakaNanaRei as front member.. the lyrics also feels so right
Most likely they will pick Naa-chan as the center , but I'm fine if it's Reika or Wakatsuki. esPECIALLY WAKATSUKI (sorry I have to put that on caps :nervous)
I have never pay attention to Sukima lyrics, but I agree that it's a good song. hmm I'll surf around for that after this.
i can't focus other thing if my previous task left unfinished, well for story.. it will always left unfinished!
I'm actually quick to move on, but about multi-chaptered stories I have never managed to finish the long one before. Let's hope I'll be able to finally do it with this :)
CHAPTER X.5
The Story Of Shiraishi Mai
If Ikuta Erika has piano Shiraishi Mai had softball.
She doesn’t remember what her reason for playing in the first place but ever since she was introduced to the bat, the glove, and the ball, she was hooked.
She was often jealous of her young step-sister who seems to be able to do anything while the only thing that she could proudly say she’s good at is cooking which doesn’t actually have any effects since her father hires a certified chef to cook for them. Thus is why she was really happy when she realized that she is incredibly good in softball, within her short time of joining the school team she had climb up from substitute to the ace pitcher.
They had their share of wins as well as losses but one thing for sure Shiraishi was indeed enjoying every second of her time.
She was only a first-grade middle-high schooler when she managed to bring her team to win the national match. Back then she had stayed up late to wait for her father to come home so she could show him the picture of her holding up the big trophy. That’s something that she always did whenever she won something and just every other day her father would nod while saying “congratulation dear, it’s good to have a hobby but don’t forget about your studies okay?”
Then the teenager would nod proudly as she asks her father to see her next match which will be replied with a simple, “let’s see what I can do.”
He had never come.
However, she has her little sister who had never missed the chance to see every single match she had even though the young girl doesn’t actually have much spare time left from balancing her advanced studies and piano lessons. That’s why Shiraishi herself also tries to support her as much as she can.
In her family, there’s an unwritten rule where the school should always go first, followed by business related events and finally their hobby related activity or as she put it something that’s not academic related. Not only the company, their own family also often held events, be it charity or some high-class dinner with other important figures- they seem to have held them all. Furthermore, if this kind of event ever held outside their school hours it is a must for either Shiraishi or Ikuta to be present.
Ikuta is often in a tough position since usually this kind of thing is held on the evening when 90% of piano competition take place, this is where Shiraishi comes in. She is always present whenever the younger girl couldn’t, even though if someone asks she would not hesitate to say that she actually prefer locking herself inside her own room than spending a mere second in the event.
Nonetheless, her love for the softball turns upside down she tried to bring the second national trophy for her team. It was mostly her fault, she was too fixated on the trophy that she forgot to actually take care of herself. She wasn’t listening when her coach told them to get a rest from 2 days before the match, resulting herself to broke down from exhaustion on the day of the match.
She had to spend a few days in the hospital bed after that and that’s actually the first time she had ever spent the night at the hospital. Her opinion on this matter was that the hospital bed is really uncomfortable, not to mention she’s quite scared of the building atmosphere, so she was pretty much hating every second of her time there.
On the next day her teammates, as well as her coach, had come to visit her. At first, she was really happy to see them because no one tells her anything about the result of their last match but her excitement didn’t last long because unfortunately, they lost the match.
Upon hearing the news Shiraishi apologized for her negligence while in turn, her teammates tried to convince her that their loss wasn’t her fault and they could still try to win the game next year. Her father who was also there successfully worsen the situation by horribly yelled at her coach and accused him responsible for what’s happening to her, he wasn’t even listening when she tried to explain that it was all her own fault.
Shiraishi Mai felt nothing but terrible.
After that accident, she decided quit the softball team and started to distance herself from her former teammates, but she made a lot of new friends whom mostly comes from the same family background as hers and tried to live her life easily like them. It was quite fun. However, at tough times she still found herself back in her backyard and swing her old bat to relax her mind.
Around the first month of her last middle school year, her father had brought her to see a stage play that was directed by his old friend. She originally was someone who thinks that stage play is lame, yet in just a few minutes from when the play start her opinion of it change drastically. She became curious, on how the actors seem to be able to keep their mistakes low, how they need to stick to the script yet make it as natural as it could be, how on the stage they need to be someone else that probably have a totally opposite personality from their selves.
After the play ends she was allowed to go to the backstage and before she knows it she had already asked so many questions straight to the play director. It was probably a little bit too many than normal because the man raised his eyebrows in surprise, totally wasn’t expecting that kind of interest to come from someone who’s not even 15 years old, heir of a big company, no less. Seeing this the man offered her to attend a summer stage acting class, she quickly looked at her father asking for his permission.
“It’s fine as long as you don’t neglect your other duties,” he said and that was enough to make her happy enough to the point of giving her father a shoulder massage once they are back home.
On the stage, Shiraishi Mai found something to be passionate about. Something that she could put both mind and heart into it. She might be one of the high school cliques that will get some of the people clucked their tongue in disagreement whenever they see her but once she stepped into the theater building she had become completely someone else.
This is also what led Shiraishi to start giving more effort on her studies. She might not be Erika who manages to leap several years on school, but she could at least stop skipping her classes and pay more attention to the lessons which successfully helps her grade to climb up and stay among the top 5 on every single exam.
Back then, she realized that being a top scorer does have some perks, like how it becomes much easier for her to flirt with a girl in a study session or how easy she could excuse herself from a family event with exam preparation reason. Not to mention that once she finally gets together with Nishino, the girl sometimes mentions how she adored her strength to balance hard work on studies and stage performances and that pretty much help boosting Shiraishi’s pride.
There’s also another reason for Shiraishi to suddenly considered high grade as something important.
Ever since she was young her father already planned to have her studying at overseas university, preferably in the United States- this is the reason he always tells her to prioritize her studies. Back then she didn’t dare to turn down her father hopes on continuing her studies on the field that could actually benefit her to succeed Nogizaka. However, she also realized that maybe if she’s smart enough she could be enrolled in a prestigious performing arts academy while balancing the business studies and her father would totally have nothing against that.
For a moment she did.
But after several terms passed it started to become a problem for her. In the morning till late afternoon she’d be studying in university. Then she’d quickly move to the academy till a little bit past midnight since they always have a play to practice after class. After that, despite her body screaming in need of rest and her eyes could barely stay opened she still need to do her homework and studies the play script. She basically has no time left to rest.
So after several months contemplating her options, she decided to take a risk and left the university to focus on the performing arts only. Of course, her father was beyond angry, he even stopped giving her financial support. However, Shiraishi wasn’t giving up, she moved to a much smaller apartment and try to earn some money by her own with part time jobs while depending on scholarship for tuition.
Nevertheless, it’s even harder than she thought it would be.
“DAMN IT!” she cursed as she crunches the paper on her hand into a ball. She leans her back on the cold brick wall, slowly slides down until her bottom touches the cold pavement of the city. Her hands reached the phone on her jeans pocket.
There’s several missed calls and also one new message that she could probably guess from who without even needing to open it. However paying attention to them is not her purpose right now, she quickly went to the contact list and scroll through it before without any second thought press the call button.
After her two unsuccessful attempts, her call is finally getting answered.
‘Shiraishi~ what a surprise! For what do I have the honor to receive this call?’
“Stop playing dumb, I’ve seen the cast of our next play.”
‘Ah about that…’ the way the guy voice trailed away at the end managed to hit Shiraishi right on the nerve.
“I did every single thing that you want me to, yet this is what I GOT?” she started to increase her volume, “YOU PROMISE ME THE LEAD, REMEMBER? I DON’T EVEN GET A PROMINENT ROLE.”
‘Ssh~ ssh~ Shiraishi you’re going to kill my eardrum. Look, something happened. We probably need to talk about this in person instead of the phone.’
“I don’t want your bullshit reason,” she fumed before ending the call.
Shiraishi hugs her knees in order to calm herself from frustration. The thing is, she needs to get a lead role or at least the main antagonist in order to have the academy continue her scholarship. She already did every single thing that she could, even to the point of trying to pull some strings from behind.
However, none of them work.
Her phone rings- disrupting her from her thought. She glanced at the screen and contemplates for a moment before decided to answer it.
“I’m giving you 20 seconds to explain,” she muttered.
‘Right. I swear I already nominated your name for the lead role, but it got rejected. I tried to switch you into other roles, but it always got rejected. They say that for some reasons you’re not allowed to get a major part for now. Look, you might need to talk to the head of the program. This is fishy, I think. Because everyone knows that you’ve been getting major roles all this time and from my professional opinion I don’t see any reason why you couldn’t do it this time. I’m really sorry, okay? But they left me with no choice.’
Shiraishi sighed, trying not to think about one particular reason for that to happen.
“Thanks, I’ll be fine,” she said as she hangs up once more.
After several minutes sitting in silence, she decided to stand up and enter the door beside her, stepping into the Japanese restaurant where she works part-time. The clock has gone past 11PM which means that it’s already the time for them to close the business for the day, Shiraishi looked around to make sure that there are no guests left before turning off several lights in the room and turn ‘we’re open’ sign into ‘sorry, we’re close’.
“Shiraishi-san? You’re still here?” came a woman voice from behind her, “I told you that you don’t need to work until so late on weekdays, didn’t I?”
“It’s fine, Shinuichi-san. Nowadays, I need all the extra money that I can get,” she smiled bitterly as she started to close the blind in the room, “and also, if I may, can I get extra work hours? To tell the truth, my savings are not enough to cover school tuition next term.”
Shiraishi looked the older woman who is looking at her with mouth parted open. Shiraishi herself knows that her part-time working hours is already longer than what her academy permits, but she couldn’t help but hope that the restaurant manager could somewhat help her more.
“I can’t give you more work hours. However, I can promote you to the kitchen. I noticed that you cook very well, so maybe that could suit you. It also pays more than being a waitress. What do you think?”
“It will be great. Thank you very much, I’ll do my best,” Shiraishi said while bowing several times to show the older woman her gratefulness.
“No need to do that, Shiraishi-san, you’ve been a great help around here.” The woman shook her off as she intently checked the cashier monitor, “now, let’s get this done so we could go home, shall we?”
At night the restaurant have 3 waiters and 2 other person who only does cleaning and this number doesn’t include the people who work in the kitchen, so when it comes to wrapping it up and closing the place they could do it quickly. In less than 15 minutes Shiraishi had already changed and hung her uniform on the clothes hanger. She didn’t say anything other than a polite ‘see you tomorrow’ to the other coworkers before stepping out from the building.
The walk from her workplace to the small flat that she’s renting takes around 30 minutes, it could be faster if she takes the subway, but it has been around a month since she realized that saving subway cost will do her good.
While walking her eyes sticks to her phone screen, staring at the red sign near her sister skype account picture, she sighed before trying to dial it.
Of course, no answer.
She was considering what she should type in the chat box when a call comes in. She inspects the contact for a moment before sliding her finger on the answer button. It’s not from her sister but also someone else that she needs to talk with.
Her girlfriend, Nishino Nanase.
“I’m still on the way back home, so I can’t do video call right now, will this be okay?” She speaks before the caller could say anything.
‘It’s okay. Well, I went to your house this morning,’ the caller admitted.
“Was Erika there?”
‘She was. We had breakfast together. We didn’t really talk much, she was preparing for a class quiz,’ both of them stay silence for a short moment before the one in Tokyo talked again, ‘have you- talked to her after that?’
“I haven’t- She is not answering my calls nor read the chats that I’ve sent. Did you try to talk to her about what happened?” Shiraishi free hand rubbed her temple, realizing that her problem with her sister is probably also one of the causes of her constant headache.
‘I did… She said for the moment she doesn’t want to think about the competition,’ Shiraishi could tell by her slower pace of speaking that the other is also worried, ‘Maiyan, what is going on?’
Shiraishi stays silence, not knowing how to answer the question.
She basically has promised to come back to Japan for a few days this week. Her family is having their annual business partnership gathering event that her father couldn’t attend because he’s overseeing an urgent project overseas while her sister is having a piano competition on the exact same day, which is why the task of being the host of the dinner lands into her hands. However, with how tight her finance she couldn’t afford a two-way ticket and she realized that there’s a possibility for her father to try stopping her from leaving Japan because even right now she’s sort of hiding from the man in order to keep herself away from being dragged back to her hometown.
So with Ikuta knowing nothing about her current condition she told the girl that she couldn’t go back to Japan for a while. Of course, her sister was startled, she has never canceled her plan that sudden before. Their conversation get even more heated when Ikuta tried to change her mind, that ended up with Shiraishi being mad and basically tell Ikuta to grow up and stop throwing everything she couldn’t do to her hands. Hearing that Ikuta said a curt apology and hang up, despite the really polite words that she was using, it’s not hard to tell the young girl was really upset.
Two days after that Shiraishi finally realized that her sister is supposed to be competing for the national championship which trophy has been inside Ikuta's dreams ever since she was barely 10. That was the first the young prodigy had finally gotten a chance to participate and because of her the girl couldn’t even attend the championship, let alone winning it.
To tell the truth, just like her sister, Nishino doesn’t know anything that’s happening in Shiraishi’s life, not even a thing about how she had quit the university. She had known even from before they were dating that Nishino capability of handling stress is a little bit below average and Shiraishi thinks that her girlfriend has already a lot in her hands since being an animation student means that she’s always in a constant struggle to finish her assignment before the deadline. That’s why she tried to hide everything from her.
‘Maiyan? Are you still there?’ Nishino asked, realizing that she’s been quite for several minutes.
“I- I…” she stammered before regaining herself to continue, “I also owe Nanase an apology. I am sorry I can’t be beside you today. Happy anniversary, even though we can’t be physically together right now, knowing that Nanase is there for me is enough. Thank you for everything. I love you”
‘Happy anniversary. I also need to thank Maiyan for everything too. Thank you for trying to understand me. I love you,’ Nishino said before continuing, ‘but Maiyan seems to be in a trouble lately and I couldn’t help but feel worried. I’m not going to push you to tell me what’s going on, but you should at least tell Erika-chan.’
“Nanase, can we… talk about something else?” She asked as she for a moment looked up at the starless sky.
‘Okay, what do you want to talk about?’
She thinks about it for a moment, her eyes go back to the night sky before finally saying, “I was looking for a star in case you want to make a wish but too bad there’s none tonight.”
‘Maiyan, I don’t think it could work like that,’ her soft chuckles reached Shiraishi’s ear, ‘it also supposed to be a falling star.’
“Then, what do you want to commemorate our 3rd year?”
‘I don’t know… Do you have anything in mind? I want to get something for us too.’
“Mmm… Actually, a few months ago I check out some rings on a jewelry store, I haven’t bought anything since I want to confirm the design with you first. Since our anniversary is coming so I thought maybe right now is the right time to decide. What do you think?”
‘That will be good…’
Shiraishi’s mouth curled into a smile trying to imagine that her girlfriend is probably blushing right now, “I’ll send you some pictures after this, do tell me what you like the most, okay?”
After that, they talk a lot, from what is happening in the anime that Nishino always following to Shiraishi trying to explain the whole plot of Hamlet that will be performed in the next academy stage play. She tried to speak as if everything is normal, trying to consider the conversation a quick and easy gate away from her problems.
When Nishino finally hang up because she needs to get ready for class Shiraishi realized it she’s already a few steps away from the 6 stories square building where she’s living right now. The light before the entrance is blinking every several seconds, a real prove of how stingy her landlord is when it comes to the building expenses. But there’s something that different tonight, since her place it’s quite on the outskirts of the city where most people is having a problem to pay for their everyday life usually there will be no car parked on the road in front of the building, unless some broken old cars that someone bought with a thought that it’ll be easy to fix it personally. However, right on the street in front of the building where she lives she finds a pitch black sedan with the familiar tree pointed star logo.
She frowns when she walked passed it, thinking about how out of place it looks with the surroundings.
Without no particular reason, she started to walk faster and entered the building. Something inside her is saying that something is not right yet she couldn’t point it out. Her steps seem to have gotten heavier as she climbs the creaking wooden stairs to the 4th floor where she lives. She quickly stepped closer to the door at the end of the corridor while her hands are rummaging her bag to find her key.
She halted when failed to turn the key on the door, her heart beating faster upon the realization that the door is already unlocked, she holds her breath as her hand slowly turning the doorknob open.
The lights that she was sure was turned off before she left the place is now on, but she doesn’t have time to wonder about the strange thing because on her small bed sat the man that she doesn’t want to see the most.
Her own father.
“What are you doing here?” Her tone came out harsh and unwelcoming. She frowns at another guy that dressed in black who leaned on the room wall.
“Visiting my missing daughter and see how’s she doing, what else do you think?”
“Okay. I’m fine. See?” she snapped as she put down her bag next to the television table, “I will be much better if my father doesn’t meddle with my life to the point of trying to get me expelled from school.”
“And what exactly are you doing in that school? THIS!?” her father thrown several photographs to the floor in front of him. His voice is so loud that the daughter started to get worried he’ll disturb the neighbors.
Shiraishi Mai kneels down to inspect the photographs. She’s inside every single of it and what makes it a problem is that she wasn’t alone. Shiraishi froze when her hand lays on one photograph that clearly shows a man leading her inside a townhouse that clearly not where she lives.
“A-Are you trying to blackmail me with these?” she stammered.
“Mai, I have never quite understood your way of thinking. From generation to generation, our family has always tried to improve the company, so we could pass it on to our children. Just like me, working as hard as I could to be able to pass it on to you. But you… chose this kind of life?”
“THAT WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED IF YOU JUST LET ME DO WHAT I WANT,” she snapped looking at the man with eyes full of anger before averting her gaze away. She tried to regain herself before continue speaking in lower volume, “I was never having a hard time before and now I am- to the point of me needing to do that.”
“Stop being too naïve, child. This kind of thing is common in the field you’re meddling right now,” the man rubbed the bridge of his nose, “it’s not too late. I talked to the head of the program in the university, they’ll let you enroll again next term.”
“Why can’t you just stop forcing what do you want on me? I am sorry, but I am not Erika who can balance what she love to do while taking care of the company. I also don't want to be you who always working all the time to the point of having no spare time for your daughters. I don’t want to be you who never have time to take care of anything else besides work to the point of having my mother left because she couldn’t take it anymore and Erika’s mother died because you was never there to notice that she was battling a severe illness.”
“ENOUGH!”
“I’m so glad to see you doing well, father. However, it’s already quite late at night and I have no wish to see you anymore, so please leave before I called the police.” She said as she walked to open the door.
“You’ll understand it eventually. You know how to find me once you do,” her father gave her a long sharp look before finally stepped out of the studio type flat, he was definitely stomping his foot in anger as he walked away with the other guy tailing behind him.
After they are finally out of sight, Shiraishi slammed her door shut and locked it. She walked back to where the photograph was scattered around the floor to gather them in her hands. She made sure that she’s already holding every single photo before turning the stove in order to create a fire.
One by one she burns the photograph into ashes. She realized that most likely there are more that her father has, but still her hands are itching to get rid of every single piece that she could find. However, when the last one has finally joined the remains of the other she’s still feeling as horrible as she was the first time she saw the photos.
Shiraishi hates it. She hates that she’s not as smart as her step sister. She hates that she couldn’t be what she want to be. She hates that her father was right- she is too naïve.
She lay down on her bed, hugging the flat pillow as hard as she can before sticking her face on to it and scream as hard as she can. She did over and over again until her throat felt sore but that doesn’t help at all. She’s hurting emotionally and couldn’t find anything that could help to relieve the pain.
Maybe it will be better if she couldn’t feel anything at all. Maybe her life could finally work that way, no remorse nor care about things that she has done. That way maybe she could just do whatever she wants without caring about what other’s think or she could just do whatever those people wants because she herself doesn’t have any passion for something.
As crazy as it sounds somehow she thinks that it will be perfect for her.
~To Be Continued~
AN:
Finally updated. It took almost a month isn't it? I'm so sorry for that :bow: So this chapter tells a backstory of Maiyan and it was totally longer than I had expected, in future chapter I think I'm going to write a backstory Nanase too, but I'm kind of still rearranging several parts of the plot. This chapter is really heavy that I'm afraid it will get boring, but it needs to be told soo... Because it's longer so I probably makes more mistakes than usual, please forgive me :bow:
Thanks for reading and I'm sorry for making some of you worried because the late update :bow:
On the other hand Maiyan is getting a PB next year asdhsakjdksajdksasa :deco:
Replies
wakasama__:
We're going back to the past in this chapter, we'll find out about present time Maiyan in next chapter :D
Naachan confession make me giggling. If there's no person in my side, I'll scream like a crazy people
Please do scream like a crazy people once you're alone :on lol:
Thanks for reading :cathappy:
wakaten:
First of all I'm so sorry for this long update, I hope this one will suffice :bow:
awww naachan, i never expected you to be this romantic...
Whenever I see Nanase mousou I got this vibe that she's actually a romantic :wub: even more than Maiyan :nervous
some of them worried about naachan (this is purely only Waka RIGHT)
Yep, that's Waka being Waka XD
Thanks for reading :)
amachan48:
and then, the next problem. It seems since Mai "wake up from her dead" she has never actually meet with Erika, right??
I guess there will be a dramatic scene when Mai and Erika finally meet each other >...< it's just, we know Erika used to really love her onee-chan so much.
but then again, even before the accident Mai and Erika was already in the not talking to each other terms. i think these two miss each other so much >...<
Yep she's never actually meets Ikuchan, since Iku never goes past the observation room. In this chapter you'll see what happened between Erika and Mai, please do tell me about what do you think :nervous. They'll be reunited eventually, but I can't say when XD
Thank you for reading :)
C:
I have no words for her except I wanna scream “Maiyan, you lucky bastard!”
Ugh, the situation is getting worse. Government, just stay away!
Did I mention how I love that WakaRei are like parents to Naachan?
Maiyan is indeed a lucky bastard :glasses:
the government are not staying away because just like every one else they want Maiyan :mon noprob:
That's what I'm trying to write, tho... Because I'm all up for wakarei family with naachan as their child :deco:
There really should be a sub-unit with WakaNanaRei. Preferably with PV like Mukuchi na Lion too
Let's get them petitions ready :lol: XD
Thanks for reading :cathappy:
CHAPTER XIV.5
- The Beginning -
You know there are moments in your life when you’re just so sleepy that nothing could help to prevent your eyes from glued shut. Nishino Nanase is currently struggling with it, most of the times whenever this kind of situation is happening she would just give up and let the land of dream take over her, however, today is different. To be precise, tonight is different.
Her school is known for their festival, unlike most of another school who will hold it once a year, hers does it twice a year. As if once is not already troublesome enough. However, this is her first senior high school festival so Nishino is more excited than usual, especially because almost every single student in her class decided to have a sleepover in the school instead of going home.
However there she was still awake past midnight, trying to finish painting on a big board that would later get exhibited in her class. A part of her regretted her decision to accept her classmates request, she should have disagreed with them when they suddenly came up with the idea of changing their class into a hipster café with graffiti across the walls.
Nishino sighed and took a step back from the huge board, her arms started to hug herself in instinct to keep herself warm from the chilly night wind. She frowned when she realizes that it doesn’t look as good as she had in mind. Well, to be honest almost everything that she makes always feels like nowhere near what she has in mind.
She sits on the ground, her eyes drifted to several papers beside her. Leaning her body back to where the wall is she holds up one of the paper and intently observe her initial design, trying to come up with an idea to improve the supposed to be finished work with something that still within her skill range.
However slowly her pace decreased leaving her surrendering to her heavy eyelids.
She felt like a minute barely even passed once she opens her eyes once more. Scrubbing her eyes with the back of her hands she halted when she notices the velvet coat on her lap. It’s definitely not hers since she only brought her hoodie which has never left her body ever since she left her house yesterday morning. She pulls the coat up with her hands so she could inspect it better, the material is really soft and warm, it also sparks a sweet fragrance. From the brand alone she could tell that this coat doesn’t belong to either of her best friends and most likely not her classmate either because surely a coat as captivating as this wouldn’t escape her eyes.
Tearing off her focus from the garment she could hear a soft sound of footsteps coming from the other side of the place. She couldn’t see the person because the huge boards that she’s using to paint basically circling her, making a small room for her to be able to work without prying eyes. Nishino stands up, stretching her body a bit before started to approach the sound.
Standing across of her with the moonlight shone over her school uniform is Shiraishi Mai. Before today she already knew how beautiful the older girl is, but not before this time Nishino stand frozen upon seeing the girl. She would never forget the way the moon seems to work in her favor, shooting its mesmerizing light exactly in the right way as the girl spun under it, her eyes glued to the paper on her hands, while her mouth moved yet inaudible most likely reciting the lines written.
The wind blow harshly, causing the girl chestnut hair to wave wildly and distract her view, the girl let out a soft laugh as she wiped the silly strands away, tucking it behind her ears. She folded the paper in her hands and look straight to where Nishino is.
“Look who’s awake,” her voice broke Nishino off her trance.
Awkwardly the younger girl approaches her, unconsciously holding the coat closer to her body in an attempt to protect herself from the cold wind, “umm… Is this yours, senpai?”
“If I hadn’t come back then, you’d be freezing by now, kouhai,” she replied without an actual answer of the question and smirked, “you’re so careless to fell asleep on the roof, the snow time may have passed but it’s still winter. I’m pretty sure they have said something about using the roof in the night is forbidden, that was for your own good, you know?”
Nishino clenched her teeth, a part of her should have realized that it was a bit foolish for her to show up. The last thing she needs is getting reprimanded for breaking the school rules. However, she looked at the upperclassman with a slight frown, “but you’re also not supposed to be here.”
“Well I believe in the saying, ‘rules are meant to be broken’. Nevertheless, unlike me, you look like someone who would try to avoid getting in a trouble,” she actually was not expecting the younger girl to call her out. “You know what? Let’s make a deal where I will act like this has never happened and in exchange, you will help me rehearsing a script.”
She was tempted to point out the fact that the older girl is also breaking the rule so it should be even if both of them should just keep this a secret, however by the girl sentence she has a feeling that she wouldn’t be bothered if the school finds out that she’s disobeying them.
“Okay, but I am warning you that I’m bad with acting,” Nishino said as she held out the coat for the girl to take it back, however, the older girl shook her head.
“You should wear it, for now, you need it more than me,” she rejected as she hands her one of the script on her hand. Nishino looks at the other girl attire for a moment, even though Shiraishi is wearing a cardigan is still thin and the scarf around her neck isn’t exactly going to help her to keep her body warm.
“It’s fine, senpai. This is yours,” Nishino said. “My hoodie is enough to keep me warm.”
Shiraishi raised her eyebrows and finally took the coat from the underclassman's hands, wearing it swiftly and started to loosen her scarf afterward. Nishino was too fascinated by how the coat seems to look even more perfect on Shiraishi as if that was specially designed for the girl.
She was too immersed in observing the other girl movement that she was one step behind from realizing the girl intention, she can feel her heat increasing as the older girl lay her dark blue scarf around Nishino, “fine, but at least take this. It’s going to be bad if you caught a cold.”
Nishino was too dazed to say anything and ended up nodding stiffly as Shiraishi smiled widely upon noticing her embarrassment, “now, can you please help me to recite the line on the 3rd page. You just have to read the Kazuma part, don’t need to worry about intonation or anything. I will be reading the Viina part.”
“O-okay,” Nishino replied as she nervously turns the page into the correct one. The older girl patiently waited until she finally settled before starting to read her line.
Albeit Nishino stammered so many times, Shiraishi has never shown her disapproval or disappointment she would patiently wait until the junior finished the sentence before swiftly moving into action as if Nishino did everything perfectly. Nishino thinks that it must have looked weird, how she just stiffly read the line while sitting down on the bench while Shiraishi will respond will all her might.
She doesn’t know what gotten into her but she suddenly stood up, facing Shiraishi and try to say the line just as the script point out. Seeing this Shiraishi broke the character for a moment to smiled a little as an approval.
So there they were, reciting line by line, taking step by step to circle each other. Even though Nishino’s nervousness still apparent it doesn’t bother the girl anymore. Well, to be exact, she doesn’t have time to be nervous anymore since the more she read the lines the more she got lured into the storyline.
The story isn’t exactly one that she has heard before, it’s about a young spirit who serves as a Goddess familiar, which sometime later he began to fall for her as the Goddess is not only beautiful but kind and free-spirited. However, her kindness prone to be her downfall and he tried to save her from it to the point of betraying her.
At the last scene, he who had been banished for his treason got reunited with the Goddess again. And as he said his apology to her the Goddess embrace him and them-
WAIT
Nishino halted as she realizes the scene that they’re doing right now, mentally scolding herself for getting too immersed in the story and not preparing herself beforehand. However, there she was, kneeling in front of Shiraishi. She didn’t realize it before but Shiraishi surely fit the role a lot as she has a certain elegance and composure that could be a bit terrifying for a normal person.
Nishino held out her right hand towards her, gulping down her nervousness before speaking the line, “if I may, I would like to serve you again as I have no greater wish than to be by your side once more.”
Shiraishi took her hand with hers, her skin feels so soft albeit cold. She was gentle as if Nishino hands would break upon a touch. Shiraishi bows down until their view are on the same level, her free hand making its way up to embrace Nishino’s cheek.
“There’s no greater joy for me than having you beside me as the time we have spent are ones that I cherished the most. Thank you.”
The senior is looking at her with high intensity that Nishino feeling even warmer than before, she averted her eyes to the script, hoping it would conceal the feelings that have started to grow. Luckily it doesn’t take Shiraishi long to snap out from her daze and take a step back from the younger girl.
“Thank you so much for your help um-” she seems to be thinking for a moment before sheepishly asked, “we haven’t exactly introduced ourselves, didn’t we?”
Nishino took a deep breath to calm down her racing heart before saying, “no. I- I am Nishino Nanase from 10-B.”
“I’m Shiraishi Mai from 11-C. It’s nice to meet you, Nishino-chan,” she let out a wide smile upon finishing her sentence then moved to grab a silver thermos from the bench, she pour the drink it’s cup and gave it to Nishino who was still fumbling with her words and could only let out incoherent thanks as a reply.
Nishino coughed in surprised when the warm liquid taste reaches her tongue. It was bitter, more bitter than the normal coffee that she tried once from Wakatsuki. Shiraishi raised her eyebrows, “Are you okay?”
She nodded in response before bracing herself to gulp the dark liquid down. Trying not to show her amazement when seeing Shiraishi gulped down the coffee straight from the thermos lid without looking disgusted.
“You should have said no if you can’t stand coffee, Nishino-chan.”
“but you didn’t even tell me that it was coffee,” she frowned a little. For a moment Shiraishi stopped her movement before she burst out in laughter.
“Fair enough,” Shiraishi shrugged before giving Nishino a signal to sit beside her on the bench. She straightened her legs before finally ask, “so what do you think about the play?”
Nishino catches her eyes and took a moment to sort out her words before saying, “story-wise it is really good. It’s not something that I have heard before and the theme is unique. The writer did a really amazing job, it’s a bit unbelievable that high school students came out with the story because it looks professionally written.”
“I didn’t say anything about it being written by a high school student, did I?”
“IT’S NOT???” Nishino eyes widened.
“Yeah, it’s not exactly for school festival play,” Shiraishi chuckled, “it’s an outside of school theatre club project that I’m a part of.”
She had never thought that Shiraishi will be the kind of person that is active in that kind of group outside of school. If anything, she originally thought that the people from Shiraishi class are the one who voted for the girl to do the part because of her popularity and good looks.
Nishino Nanase realizes there’s more of Shiraisi Mai in addition of her captivating beauty.
“That’s really amazing, senpai,” she couldn’t hide her astonishment.
“You should put the brochure on the news wall, I’m pretty sure a lot of students in the school will be keen to come to see it.”
“No,” Shiraishi shook her head before looking up to the sky, “I don’t want people to solely come to see me. I want people to genuinely come to see the play. It doesn’t make any no sense to you, isn’t it?”
Nishino hummed trying to make a sense of it for a moment, “I think I can understand.”
“Well, I actually have been thinking of inviting someone to come and see me, but I’m still unsure whether it is a good idea or not.”
“Senpai, I’m sure the person would enjoy the performance,” the younger encouraged her. “Well, unless this person is really not into a stage play.”
“No, that’s not really the problem,” Shiraishi laughs, however, it sounds a bit different than the playful chuckle that she did before, this one sounds more deep and short, resembling a scoff more than a laugh, “I wish it’s something that simple, though.”
They went silent for a moment, with Nishino trying hard to come up with something to reply.
“Senpai, you… If you need to talk about that, I’m willing to listen.”
Shiraishi raised her eyebrows, “Thanks, Nishino-chan, but I don’t really know you that much so I don’t think I should talk to you about it. Well, to be honest, I don’t think I should talk to anyone about this because this is- hm… personal matters.”
Nishino eyes widened, “I didn’t mean to intrude, I’m so sorry for being insensitive.”
“It’s fine, you’re not being insensitive. If anything, during this short period that I have known you I think you’re far from insensitive,” Shiraishi averted her eyes towards the other girl. “I wonder, Nishino-chan, do you have a boyfriend?”
“N- no.”
“Girlfriend then?”
“Wha- No, I don’t.” Nishino realizes how it’s not that strange for a girl to be in a relationship with another girl, especially when it comes to their school, but still, she was taken aback from the upperclassman sudden interrogation.
“Hm… what about a crush? Do you have any?”
It took Nishino a moment before gulping down her nervousness and reply softly, “I don’t think so.”
Shiraishi lifted her eyebrows, feeling suspicious of the other girl answer, “well, let me tell you something. Hm… Have you ever heard about me before? Like I mean before we met tonight, maybe from your classmate or something.”
“Yeah,” Nishino admitted. It would be impossible not to hear about the other girl before, Shiraishi Mai is amazingly popular, everyone in the school now her beauty, albeit their opinion on her varies greatly, even Takayama- Nishino friends that go to another school knows about the older girl.
The fact that Shiraishi is the first heir of one of the biggest biomedical technology and robotics add to her popularity advantages. One could say that she has everything you want from a partner.
“Do you know that most people are either like me or hates me?” Shiraishi smiled bitterly.
Nishino feels bad because it seems like the other girl is hurting to admit that, “they have their reasons.”
“Well, of course. But do you know that I also have a reason to be like that?” Shiraishi averted her gaze back to the sky, seemingly lost in her train of thought for a moment before started to speak. “From the early years of my life, people that should have been there and care about me abandoned me in different ways. That’s why I never was able to reject someone affection towards me, even if I don’t know the person that well to like them back, even if I actually in a relationship with someone else, I couldn’t help but be greedy. It’s more like because I have lost so much, I will take every tiny piece of love that people could offer.”
The sun has started to appear, replacing the moon that has gone from their view, the yellowish rays seem to give the sky much more bright colors. Nishino eyes carefully observed the older girl, her eyes seem a bit sad albeit the smile that still doesn’t leave her lips.
“Furthermore, after everything that I have done because I just want people’s love, I am still afraid. What if they decided that I’m not good enough? Will they leave me just like the others did? So I always tried to be the one that breaks it,” Shiraishi continued, finally lifted her gaze from the peeking sun to face Nishino once more. “I am not like you, Nishino-chan. I am not afraid of people getting hurt because of me, I would rather have myself to be the one not-hurting.”
“Unlike me?” Nishino is confused, her brain failed to process the similarity of their situation.
“I think you know the answer more than I do, after all, I just met you a few hours ago,” her answer came as she stood up and turn her back towards the sun. “It was nice to talk to you, Nishino-chan. I believe you should leave this place before someone come and caught you here. It’s only a matter of time before your classmate started to look for you, too.”
For a moment, they were looking at each other without saying or doing anything. Nishino broke their moment by nodding and standing up to properly face Shiraishi, “I believe you’d be amazing on stage, senpai. I wish you the best of luck.”
“I don’t want to hear that now. Decide whether it’s good or not after you personally watch it. There will be a performance on Friday two weeks from now at the city town hall theater. I will reserve a seat for you, just come and give the information staff your name and say that you’re my guest,” Shiraishi explained briefly. “Your art is amazing, Nishino-chan. Take care of yourself, it’d be a waste if we lost someone with that skill.”
“T-thank you,” Nishino feel her face reddened so she bowed a little to hide it. “I will definitely come to watch the play.”
“Great, see you later, then,” she gave her a smile before turning her body towards the opposite side.
Nishino muttered a simple parting reply, before finally managing to drag her foot towards the door, a part of her still doesn’t want to leave yet she realizes that she really needs to go if she doesn’t want both of them to get caught breaking the school rules.
However, before closing the door, she stole a look towards the girl once more and find her looking up to the sky. She couldn’t really see her face because she was facing the opposite side. Then she realizes that the girl looks lonely.
She couldn’t help but wonder what had happened.
Snapping out from her useless wondering, Nishino closed the door and head downstairs. Once she got back from her class, several of her classmates ask about where she was, which she answered with one word “toilet” that thankfully manages to lift her out of their suspicion.
However, once she’s not the main attention of the whole classmate, Wakatsuki Yumi approaches her, with an unreadable look and say, “I wonder where did you get that scarf.”
Nishino eyes widened as she realizes that she forgot to give it back to Shiraishi, she stammered aimlessly to answer her best-friend before the latter shrugged.
“It’s totally fine, you don’t need to explain. It looks good on you."
For several minutes, they both stood looking at each other in silence. Nishino was one second away from walking away when Wakatsuki started to speak.
“Over the past month, things went downhill for the three of us, I really hope that someday we can go back to be friends just like before,” Wakatsuki said. “I know that I’m not in the position to demand so much, but at least I can hope for that.”
Nishino looks down for a moment. Somehow, she remembered what Shiraishi has said to her about taking every piece of love that she could find. Nishino sighed and finally said, “I’m… I’m glad that you did that. We are best friend, right? It was foolish of me to think that we should change that. I really hope we could stay best friends forever.”
“So am I.”
AN
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MAIYAN. MAY SHE FOREVER BE MY GODDESS :farofflook:
Okay you might notice but this wasn't actually intended to be Maiyan birthday special fanfic. You see the thing is I once thought to scrap this chapter from the plot as it seems so long just to answer few questions and even add some more. To tell the truth, most of the important points in this chapter will be explained later in future chapters, but probably it's going to take us a few more chapter before we got to that. This chapter originally going to be told still a bit later, however, I put it forward because it was already half done and I am currently too busy to come up with something else for maiyan birthday (yet I really want to put something) :)
In case you were too swayed by the Nanamai goodness to notice, here's 2 things that you ought to know after reading this chapter:
=> This chapter is the first time Maiyan and Nanase truly meet, which means this happens before that one backstory where Wakatsuki hit Maiyan.
=> This chapter also explains the reason why Maiyan did get a wrong impression upon Wakatsuki and Nanase living together. Well, this doesn't actually tell you that she knows about Waka but however you can see from the last Waka and Naachan convo that something did happen between the three bestfriend.
I realize that I've been writing this story for more than a year. During this period a lot of things has happened to Shiraishi Mai (irl) some might be something that I used to find it hard to accept however I'm still glad to be able to follow Maiyan journey till this far. :deco:
I also need to thank you all for reading this story, I'm glad I'm able to share my wild imagination about Maiyan here and to see that people likes it :heart:
So here's for more to come, both the story, Shiraishi Mai, and all of us :k-wink:
Reply:
@Janix123
After reading this chapter... I get more interested....LIKE VERY!!
I'm kinda looking forward for more flashbacks where Maiyan was yet to become an android... like their relationship with Naachan.
Or how she was with Wakarei and Kazumin...
I never expected Maiyan to meet her mother... It surprised me a lot. Hahahaha Waka's patience made me laugh...JK...made me scared too.
Thanks for update author-san
Here's more flashback, I hope it's good enough :cathappy: Well I might forgot to mention this but Kazumin, Reika and Maiyan is more of a stranger to begin with. Like they knows each other exist but doesn't really interact. However Wakatsuki is another story, she played a bigger part in Maiyan past ;).
Hahahaha her mother is a missing link that is really fun to write. And Waka could be scary since she is clearly not fond of Maiyan :nervous
Thank you for reading and commenting :)
Trigger warning: this chapter mentions suicide, self-harm, and abuse. Please read wisely.
CHAPTER XIX.5
-The Story of Nishino Nanase-
Have you ever think that maybe you should have been dead? Like maybe, you have cheated fate far too long that now the fate is coming to get you?
Nishino Nanase used to think about that a lot.
Until Shiraishi Mai came into her life.
To explain why she had thought that way, she'd need to walk down the memory lane. From the beginning, long before the two girls met each other, at the time when Nishino was just a little girl.
She was born from a supposed to be average family, however, most of their money had gone to her mother, who had suffered from Leukemia. Back then, Nishino doesn't know how deadly the illness is, all she knows is that her mother is ill.
The day where she was supposed to celebrate her 3rd birthday. That day turns out to be one of the main turning points in her life. Instead of coming home with the white box she has known so well to be the one that came from the bakery where her family always bought their cakes, her father had come with dusty cardboard. The smile that usually presents on his face was gone, replaced with a gloomy one that she couldn't comprehend.
Her father has lost his job.
She was too young to understand what was going on, but she can see the change in her family routines. It only took her days to finally dared to ask her father what was going on.
"I have to find a job so that we can celebrate your birthday with cakes in the next year." That's how the man tries to explain the situation.
Hearing the words cakes, little Nishino smiled happily, she was too young to know that the cake isn't as important as continuing the treatment for her mother.
However, days went by and her father hadn't even managed to score a decent job. All he can get is a part-time job at the local convenience store and another one in construction.
He had worked day and night yet it still not enough to cover their living cost, let along her mother fat bills of cancer treatment. Until one day, when they came home from one of their mother meetings with the doctor they decided that they had enough.
So they tuck their little girl to the bed and before goes to sleep they gave her a 5 amount of pill.
"But I'm not sick," little Nishino has protested. She always detests medicines, so of course, she will reject it when her parents gave her something while she is feeling completely healthy.
"Sweetheart, this is vitamins. You don't need to be sick to take this," her mother tried to assure her, her voice shakes.
"I want my strawberry vitamins. This one looks bitter," She whines.
"Let's just make it like this, I promise you after you take this, we'll get you something." Her father persuades her. She could see how her mother frowns at the words.
To their delight, their daughter nodded, shutting her eyes as she put the pill in her mouth. They gave her a water to drink it down. However, due to the amount of the pills, not everything managed to be swallowed in the gulp and little Nishino was smart enough to hide that from them.
"We love you very much sweetheart, we promise we're all going to be in a better place soon," her mother suddenly burst into tears as she gave her a kiss on the forehead and hug her, the man followed the hug soon after. Nishino Nanase didn't say anything, she is a bit confused that her parents are more emotional than usual but afraid their parents are going to find out that she doesn't take every single of the "vitamins" if she opens her mouth to ask.
After that her parents turn off the lights in her room and departed into theirs.
Little Nishino spews out the leftover pills in her mouth as soon as she's sure they won't find out. Her mouth tastes bitter, something that she hates so much and drinking down the remaining water on the glass sadly doesn't help to relieve that.
She stares at the ceiling, feeling that her head spinning uncontrollably. She tried to close her eyes, yet the sensation still lingers. Feeling like not being able to take it anymore she went to her parents' bedroom, finding them on the bed, not moving an inch when she tried to shake them awake.
They must have been so tired. That's what she had thought.
So little Nishino Nanase crawled onto the bed, laying down on the tiny space between them. She gave them a little kiss before she shut her eyes.
"Good night, Mama, Papa."
Never did young Nishino Nanase thought that the night is going to be the last that she spent with her parents. That night is etched in her memory and often replayed itself in her dreams, haunting her with the bittersweet moments.
And the day where Shiraishi Mai had learnt her secret was no exclusion for the regular dream to visit her.
Nishino Nanase jolted up, her breath racing as if she had just run a marathon, a painful sting coming from her back, followed by some noises of stuff falling down.
That was just a bad dream, it's already over. That was just her dreadful past that kept on haunting her.
She kept on repeating those sentences inside of her brain. Trying to calm herself down as she slowly pulled herself to the current time.
"Hey, hey, Nanase-chan, it's okay," she can hear a familiar voice and a warm hand touching the skin on her shoulder. Nishino eyes widened, turning her body from facing down position she was into a normal one and inspect the current situation.
She's inside the most luxurious room she has ever been in her life. She had thought Wakatsuki is rich enough, but the modern looking room will make the wooden room of her best friend look pale in comparison. Shiraishi Mai sits next to her on the bed, face mixed of worries and concerned, a new expression that she has never seen on her before. Another person is sitting on the other side of the bed, a young woman who is probably just older than them by a few years, her red knit sweater rolled up halfway, eyes inspecting her thoroughly behind her full framed glasses.
That's when Nishino realizes that she is only wearing the tank top that she was wearing beneath her high school uniform. Her eyes widened as she instinctively grabbed the smooth blanket and pull it up. Ironically, she's not shaken because the two other women are seeing her in the underdressed state, but rather because of the striking bandages around her body.
Her eyes meet Shiraishi's horrified one in total horror.
"You passed out," the upperclassman muttered softly, "Nanase-chan, I think you should have checked yourself into the hospital. Because whatever it is that's happening to you- you- you could have-"
Died.
Nishino knows that is exactly the one word that the older girl is trying to say.
"Senpai, I appreciate your concern and everything that you're trying to do to help me. But this is my own problem and it's a really personal one. So please just let me be and consider none of this has ever happened."
"No. I can't do that." Shiraishi shook her head. "There are two possibilities of how this is going to go. First, you will let Kotoko-san here to patch you up and then we will talk. I will expect you to tell me the truth. Or the second one where I will just call the ambulance right here and sure as hell the whole city will be talking about you for a month considering you're currently inside my house. Your choice."
Nishino gulped down, knowing that there's no way Shiraishi will let the matter go. "Fine."
Shiraishi gave the other person in the room a knowing nod and the woman sighed, she looks totally troubled with the whole situation. "Nishino-chan, isn't it? I'm Sasaki Kotoko, a doctor. Shiraishi-san called me to help you and that's why I'm here right now. I'm sorry to say this, but I haven't gotten a good look on your wounds so if you don't mind please take off your top so I can peel the bandages and see if that's what causing your fever. I can also help you to make the wounds heal faster."
Nishino nodded, but her hands freeze as she realizes that Shiraishi is there, watching. Thankfully, the older girl understands what's happening and stand up. "I'm going to get you a sleeping gown."
"Thank you," Nishino muttered, earning a sad smile from Shiraishi before she left the room.
Albeit hesitant, Nishino took off her top, leaving the bandages around her body clear for the young doctor to see.
"I'll need to take off the bandages, no need to worry I'll patch you up back again once we put some healing cream on the wounds." The doctor let her know before started to gently peel the messy bandages. "Did you bandage all of this yourself?"
"A- yeah."
"I figures. How about the wounds?"
"What about it?" her tone changed into a defensive one.
"I mean, what did you use to treat it?"
Nishino exhaled, feeling thankful that the woman isn't trying to probe about where did they come from. Slowly she started to recount everything that she did to heal it. The doctor listens silently, her eyes fixed on peeling the bandages until there's nothing left that covers her body. Every once in a while she'd flinched, probably because some of her skin accidentally got peeled off with the bandages.
Nishino tried to look anywhere but the doctor, she knows that she won't be able to stand to see the look on people face upon seeing her condition.
A soft sound of the door being opened made Nishino jumped a little, causing the wound that was being gently traced by the doctor made a rough contact with the fingers. Nishino cringed in pain.
Shiraishi who was the one who opened the door halted, her expression gradually changes. Worry, sadness, anger. Nishino feels like there's a bit of each of that. But rather than saying anything about the wounds, Shiraishi give a little nod, closing the door gently.
"Here is the stuff that you need, Kotoko-san." She said as she put a plastic bag on the bedside table. She looks at Nishino for several seconds before finally holding out a pile of clothing that she was carrying. "I think this should do."
Nishino muttered a silent thank you, her hands reaching for the smooth fabric. Shiraishi ended up bringing short pants along with the robe, which Nishino is thankful for cause sitting there with her black tight to cover her bottom is a bit embarrassing.
While Sasaki was observing the medicines that Shiraishi had bring, Nishino uses the little time, to slide the short pants up, the robe sadly will need to wait until the doctor finish patching her up. Still, Nishino hold it close to cover the parts that is not currently being observed.
"I think it's better if I put some cream on the front part first and after that, you can lie down on the bed with the back facing up so I can continue on those," Sasaki explained before started to gently apply the cream on bruises on Nishino's front and right side.
There were not many words being said, just a simple instruction that Nishino will follow, occasional whimpers of pain here and there. Shiraishi herself hadn't said anything, just watching her getting treated from the side with a pained expression. Nishino noticed how the older girl would flinch from time to time as if the doctor were working on her too.
Once it's finally over, Sasaki left the room, leaving the two high school students for the private conversation that Shiraishi has demanded before.
"What happened?" the older one started, staring at her in uncertainty.
Knowing there's not much Nishino can do to have Shiraishi shut her mouth about the matter, Nishino tells her the truth. Hoping that at least with that, Shiraishi will understand her reason.
So she told her about what happened to her parents, how they committed suicide, how confused she was when she had woken up in the morning, finding their skin pale and cold. How after that, her uncle which is the only family that she has left was the one who gets to be her guardian, raising her from the young age to where she is now.
"He had cared for me, raised me as if I'm his own child. But even my uncle has his limit. About two years ago, his business failed. Causing him with a lot of debts that he almost couldn't cover and after that, he basically has no money left for creating a new business nor that the bank trusts him again after what had happened. He- has problems, he's not suited to work under someone else, I guess. Well, this makes him really frustrated. Every day he would come home drunk and eventually his habits caught up with his job too, causing him to lose it again and again.
He thinks that it's my fault. Because I am a bad luck." Nishino smiled bitterly, trying to hide the emotional pain that it caused just from saying the words.
"What did he do to you?"
"It differs from his mood. Sometimes, he just beat me up. Saying how ungrateful I am for having him raising me despite the bad luck that comes with it. Other times he-" Nishino sighed, "he pinched me with his cigarettes, he thinks that could be the way to erase my bad luck."
"Why are you letting this happening to you!? You know how easy it is to call up the police and let him be in the place where he belongs. He is torturing you!"
"I- can't... Senpai, not every single wound on my body comes from him. In fact, I-" Nishino look to her shaky hands, not being able to face the upperclassman. "I was the first one who created those wounds."
Shiraishi goes into silence, Nishino let her have her moment for several seconds before admitting it to her. "I don't think that I should be alive. That's why I don't want other people to know because I'm not sure I'll be able to handle them."
Nishino observed the silent girl whose body was trembling a bit. After a while, her head finally goes back up to meet Nishino's.
"Fine, I won't say anything about this and I will make sure that Kotoko-san doesn't too. However, I don't ever want you to fell ill just because of a mere infection. So, I'm asking you to please let Kotoko-san help you whenever your body needs it." Shiraishi sighed.
"Thank you, senpai."
Shiraishi nodded, looking straight into her eyes with a gentle expression. "I won't judge any of your life choices. However, I feel like I need to let you know that you don't deserve any of that. Nanase-chan, you should stop punishing yourself for something that is not even your fault. Bad luck? That's a nonsense. Nanase-chan, now that I already know everything, please don't hesitate to tell me if you're facing a problem, okay? I promise I won't judge. It's just I need you to feel better. Because for me, you are a wonderful person. I really wish you can see that too. "
Sadly, Nishino has never been able to clearly understand the reason for Shiraishi Mai to think that she's wonderful. However, from that day, just knowing that Shiraishi thinks so has started to be one of a few reasons for Nishino to keep going.
~ To Be Continued ~
AN:
HI ALL! First of all I want to say sorry for breaking Nanase so bad. Like hmm this is the main storyline that I have planned from the beginning that I wrote this series but as the time goes I have started to wonder if that will be good or not. Anyways, I was considering whether to change it into a lighter one but I realise that with the plot that has basically been built since the beginning backing down will ruin everything. So I really hope this will be good enough :bow:
Please do let me know about what you think, I'm really really nervous about this chapter. Because well from the beginning this story its dark but now it has gone fifty shades darker (in a gruesome ways) lol
Till next time :panic: