Chapter 18: Goodbye First Love
-Somewhere on the road-"I'll take you home now. I don't want to see you like this" The man drove as fast as he can to the woman's house.
'I thought all this time, you really want to be with me. Ray, even though you did not say it, it really hurts to know that you're just using me to fulfill Kai's shortcomings' he thought.
The man accompany the Diva towards her room and when he's about to leave, Ray suddenly grabbed his hand and said, "Please stay here. I don't want to be alone Kame"
The man can't resist the pleading look of the Diva so he decided to stay and spend the night with her; a night that might become an intense one.
-Maeda's Residence-"Kai-kun. .... is it really okay for you to be with Anami? I mean. ... does the Diva will not find you for not being in your home?" Mama Maeda asked.
"Don't worry auntie. It's fine and I already mailed her" Kai smiled.
"Okay, if you say so. Then I should leave you now, I want to rest also" Mama Maeda excused herself and leave the midget who is now beside the little girl that is already having a nice sleep.
Kai watched the sleeping little girl while slightly stroking her hair. He smiled when he noticed that Anami is really look like Atsuko with some of his characteristics. 'What if you're our daughter?' Kai thought. 'Oh what am I thinking?! That's impossible! or maybe not? Aaarggh' Kai messed up his hair then he was interrupted when he saw in the corner of his eyes a figure that is standing at the doorway. There he found an angel that is looking and giving him a lovely smile.
"A-A-Acchan. .... Oh don't give me that kind of smile" Kai rolled his eyes then thought, 'It makes me melt'
"I'm sorry It's just I can't help it. You look like a little father" Atsuko giggled.
"Stop teasing me Acchan. ...... By the way, how's the meeting with your manager?"
"It went well. ...... very well" Atsuko smirked then went beside Kai on the bed.
"Kai, can I ask something?"
"Uhnn. ... what is it?" Kai said without looking at her.
"Does the Diva will not get mad because you're here? I mean you're still together right? Then you should stay with her" Atsuko pretended that she didn't know anything as she just wanted to know something about them.
"You're like your mother you know? She also said that to me earlier. Well, like what I said to her, It's fine and I already mailed her that I'm not able to be with her tonight"
'Either her, she's not able to be with you. She has another business' Atsuko thought.
"Can I ask another question?"
"Again? There's an exchange in every answer that you will get" Kai smirked.
"Eh? Nani?" Atsuko confusedly asked.
"A kiss" Kai slowly move his face closer to her. Atsuko can feel the heat up onto her face but she decided to just tease the midget.
"You're being a flirt again midget...... That's so easy to do" Atsuko smirked then move closer even more. Kai just gulped and immediately retort back and hide his shy face.
"You're funny Kai. ..... You tried to tease me then you just quickly retort back. hehe" Atsuko said between her giggles.
"Stop it Acchan. Just tell me your question" Kai said without looking at her.
"Is there any problem between you and her? I just noticed that both of you are so distant with each other and on the day that I came back here, you seem have a problem" She asked in a serious tone.
"Is that really obvious? Well she's different now. ....."
Kai told everything what he experienced on the past months with Ray. Atsuko just gritted her teeth and prevent herself to let out her anger. Then suddenly, an intriguing question popped on her mind.
"I remember something, I can't remember if it's Kuu or Riku who asked you if. ......... There's something happened between you and the Diva. Did you do it or not on the past years?"
"Eh? What's with that question? It's kinda. .......... embarrassing" Kai look on his side then continued "I already answered it before, there's nothing happened to us"
"So you're really still a virgin" Atsuko giggled as she slightly forgot what happened to them before.
"I told you I'm not!"
"Yes you are!" she teased even more then suddenly the midget pushed her down to make her back rested on the bed. The blond's body slightly leaned down on Atsuko and cornered the woman with his arms.
"Do you want me to help you remember that day? To prove to you that I'm not a virgin anymore?" Kai smirked again on her just like he's now in flirting mode.
Atsuko avoided to look on the midget's eyes and blushed. Now she remembered again that night; the night when they made the little girl beside them. Kai traced every part of the woman's face and said,
"Do you know that you look more beautiful now?"
"I already know about it. You don't need to remind me"
"Wowowow. What a strong confidence you have"
"I'm just kidding. You know, there's nothing change in me, I still look like before" finally, Atsuko look to the midget and their eyes met. They stared at each other and again, slowly, Kai's face move closer to catch the woman's lips then suddenly, Atsuko ruined their situation by asking a question.
"Do you really love her or Do you still love her?"
"I. .. I. .. I really ………………… don’t know"
"Then move away your face now, you're not allowed to kiss me until you know the answer on it" Atsuko smirked.
"Eehh??!"
"You two, can you continue that in the other room? The child might saw you and it's a bad example for her!" Mama Maeda interrupted them and they just retort back on their previous position while having a redden face.
After that incident, both of them just slept beside the little girl. Their hands intertwined like they did not want to let each other go. As the sun starts to shine while the birds are chirping and the roosters nearby also starts to make sound to wake them up, Atsuko quickly stood up and went downstairs to prepare their breakfast while the midget and the other midget are still in the dreamland. After half an hour, Kai went down with a sleepy little girl on his back and exactly, their food is done.
"Ohayou sleepy heads. ..." Atsuko greeted.
"Ohayou mom. .."
"Ohayou Acchan. ... Wow did you prepare all of that?"
"Of course yes. Come on, let's eat"
After they sat down, the two midget took a bite on the food and said,
"Woah! Oishii~!"
"As expected. Mom's food is really delicious" Anami added.
"Before I get addicted into this food, can we switch on the tv? I want to watch some news. These days I really don't know what's happening in our country" Kai laugh a little and scratch the back of his head.
Atsuko quickly grab the remote and switch on the tv. After half a second, they can now hear the newscaster's voice. The blond who’s busy eating, suddenly stopped when he heard something that really caught his attention.
"The Number one and top selling Diva in Japan was caught entering in a hotel with another man! Does the issue between her and Kai of Persona really true? Did they break up? Is it because of the famous actor Kyohei or the another famous in acting, Maeda Atsuko? Soon we'll figure out what's the truth but for now, here are the pictures that were sent by a mysterious sender. Douzo!"Atsuko widened her eyes; she didn’t expect that the scene that she saw last night will be in the news today. She thought that maybe the paparazzi will not notice it, and then she remembered the pictures that she received last time. ‘Could it be …………. That person?’ she thought. Atsuko looked at the midget who’s eyes are also widened as he shake his head in disbelief. Kai immediately stood up and said,
“No … That’s not true. Maybe the paparazzi misunderstood that girl. Maybe she really looks like Ray but ………………….. No, Ray can’t do such things like that” Kai took his coat at the back of the chair and ready to leave.
“Acchan, I need to go. Thanks for the food” Kai dashed out and hurriedly leave them.
‘I really can’t understand you Kai’ Atsuko thought and frowned but the little girl patted her hand and said,
“Mom, I think Kai-kun will be fine. Don’t worry”
“I hope so Anami-chan ….”
Kai rode in a taxi towards to their house and while he’s inside, he can’t help himself to not panic as his hands were shaking badly. He can still remember the pictures that he saw earlier. He tried not to believe on it but his mind doesn’t agree on what he thinks. When he arrived in front of their house, he wrinkled his forehead and wondered who’s the owner of the luxury car that is parked beside. Kai set aside his wonders and entered inside. The door was not locked so he continued on walking towards to the way where their room is located. Its door was slightly open so he peeped if the Diva is in there. His eyes widened when the moment that he saw two bodies that is obviously half naked as both of them were covered by a blanket. Without any second thoughts, Kai dashed inside with an angry aura. His fists are closed as if it was aiming to punch. The two person was startled by the heavy footsteps. The Diva looked so shocked and didn’t know what to do while when the man beside her was about to stand up, his face was quickly punched by an angry fist that made him to sprawl on the ground.
Kai looked at the man on the ground with his eyebrows meeting each other and yelled, “What the f*** are you doing here?! Don’t you know that this woman already have a partner?! Huh?!! We’re in the same industry, it’s impossible if you didn’t know about it!!”
“That’s the reason why I’m here! I’m here because I know behind her smiles when she’s with you, there’s sadness on it!! I just want to comfort her!!”
“What the hell are you talking about?! Just leave us bastard!” Kai growled and punched him with all his might on the corner of the lips. Kyohei was startled by the unexpected behavior of the midget; he didn’t expect that he can do those things to him. He just took all of his stuffs and leave immediately.
When Kai heard the dashing off sound of the car’s engine, he glance at the Diva who’s still on the bed with a ‘let me explain’ expression. Ray can see on the midget’s eyes the hatred and the same time being hurt. When she was about to touch Kai’s hand when he walked towards her, the midget avoided it and said,
“At first I really don’t want to believe the pictures that I saw earlier on the news because I know that you will never do that to me but now ……….. I realized, I was wrong”
“What? Pictures? News? What do you mean?” Ray confusedly said.
“A paparazzi took a picture of you and that bastard!! And it’s all over the Japan news now!”
“Whaaaaaat??!! My god, what I’ve done ………….. I’ll settle that issue later, for now, I want to settle our situation now. Kai let me explain” Ray pleaded.
“Explain? Do I need your explanation? I already saw what I need to see. There’s no need for explanation”
“Please Kai. Believe me, I didn’t mean to do that. I love you Kai” Ray tried to kiss the midget but she failed when Kai avoided it again.
“Stop it Ray! Believe you? I believe and I trusted you for the past years! And yet you still do that stupid thing on me?! I can’t believe you actually betrayed me! I should have trusted my instincts before, when I saw you with that guy on your house! The day that we had our …….. first date!”
Ray remembered that day; the day when Kyohei visited her but it’s just a friendly visit. She doesn’t have any idea that their relationship will be more than just a friend.
“So you saw that …….. Kai, please believe me. At that time, we’re just friends. I never expected that we’ll end up like this. It’s just ………… I did it because ………….. I need some affection from you. I need you being a man Kai!”
“Does the love that I gave to you ……. Not enough? What else do you need from me?! You said that you want my manliness but what did you do?! Look at yourself! You did it with another man! Do you know how it hurts to see your partner with another man on YOUR OWN BED?! AND HALF NAKED?! If you want my body I can give it to you! You don’t need to ask it in some other guy! Maybe this is the reason why your acting so cold to me! Doing some nasty things with another man!” Kai yelled at her with angriness in his tone but after he said those words to the Diva, Ray gave him a sudden slap.
“You don’t understand me Kai! It’s not only your body that I want! I also want your love! All of your love! The whole love that I never get these years! Even if you didn’t say it, I can see and I can feel that you still love Maeda! I really wonder why you chose me before and I don’t know if …………… you really love me” Somehow, Ray’s words strike directly to his heart. Does he really still love Atsuko? If yes, then why he chose Ray before? Is this what his friends always say to him? That he made a wrong decision before? But he really felt love towards Ray before, how come that he’s wrong on choosing her?
“Ray, you know, on the past years, I felt really in love with you, I felt so much happiness when I’m with you. I thought I gave my whole love to you but I’m wrong. I didn’t notice that all these time, I’m showing to you whom I really love. I didn’t mean it; I didn’t mean to hurt you Ray. Forgive me” Kai said calmly as he looked down on the floor.
“It’s okay Kai, you don’t need to apologize. I’m the one who should ask apology on you. Kai forgive me if I did that. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want you to leave me. Please Kai, let’s start a new relationship again. A better relationship. I really love you Kai” Ray cupped the midget’s cheeks and lifts his face to be able to look at her.
“I’m really thankful for the love that you gave to me but I really don’t get it …….. if you truly love me, then why did you betray me? ………. Maybe there’s a reason why this things happen. It made us to realize something. Ray, I’m really sorry I if I hurt you unintentionally but I don’t think we can start a new relationship again. Like what you said, you can see and you can feel who I really love. It’s also the same thing that my friends always say to me. I don’t want to hurt you again; I do not deserve to accept your love. I know there’s someone that is really meant for you and it’s definitely not me. Ray, thank you for loving me for the past years. I really appreciate it but I think we should stop this” Kai said while removing Ray’s hands on his cheeks.
“No Kai! I know we can still make it! I don’t want to lose you! I want you to stay with me! Please Kai, don’t say those words!” Ray’s tears started to flow continuously on her cheeks.
“If we will continue this, we’ll just end up hurting each other and that kind of relationship won’t work. Ray, I know someday you’ll meet your special person. The person who will love you and you will love truly” Kai smiled at her while wiping her tears but by hearing those words from him, it just made the Diva to cry even more then hugged him.
“No one will take place on you in my heart. I love you so much Kai”
The midget can feel something that is not right to feel when the Diva hugged him so after a couple of minutes, he quickly remove himself and stood up to leave. “You should rest now and prepare yourself for the press that will surely interview you about those pictures” Kai said and was about to go but he was stopped when the Diva grabbed his hand.
“Before you leave me and go to Maeda’s place. Can I request something?”
“Eh? What is it?”
“Can I feel your manliness for the first and last time?” Ray said seductively as she stand up and move forward while holding the blanket which is the only thing that covers her body.
“EEEHHHHH????!!!” Kai felt stunned as he can’t move his feet from the ground. He can feel the heat rose up on his face and it made him to look as red as a tomato.
Ray continued on walking closer to him and said seductively, “I want you Kai …..”
“I .. I .. I told you to have a r-r-rest n-n-now ……………. D-d-don’t come closer to me, I .. I .. I can’t do your request” Kai closed his eyes but after it, he just heard a sad giggle from the Diva.
“I’m just teasing you ……….. Ugh, you show me again that you really love Maeda. Go ahead now” Ray turned back and was about to go to bed again when Kai called her.
“Ray ……..” She turned to look then suddenly she felt soft lips pressed on her. Her tears flow again when she answered the midget’s kiss. She tried to deepen their kiss but Kai broke it and said,
“I … I …. Need to go now before something else happen. Take care”
Ray can feel her heart gradually tearing apart while the midget’s figure was slowly fading out of her sight. It’s the last time that she felt those lips and also the last time that she can feel the presence of her first love. The Diva cried again when she saw some of their pictures together on the wall and on the table. She will surely miss those moments. She flipped her phone and looked at her wallpaper and thought, ‘First love never dies. I need to accept that you’re really not for me. Thank you for being with me in the past four years. Now it’s time for you to be with someone you really love’. Ray’s thoughts were interrupted when she received a message from someone. After she read it, she smiled and said, “I’ll try to be happy for you. Be a good Papa, Kai”.
I don't know if it's right to put that 'trying to seduce' scene after a serious conversation.
Gomen, I just want to add it
Thanks for reading