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Author Topic: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions  (Read 10413 times)

Offline Minami-chan

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Re: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions
« Reply #40 on: June 09, 2016, 12:15:29 AM »
 :shocked :shocked
This last story ...
Yui, no! you are the father of that baby.

Offline Haruko

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Re: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions
« Reply #41 on: June 09, 2016, 02:35:53 AM »
I hope you can do the next part please! :D love your fic
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Offline faanpal

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Re: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions
« Reply #42 on: June 09, 2016, 08:39:08 AM »
It's confirmed. U r my fav YuiParu author! :mon geek:
Just write moar...! I'll b waitin for 'em. :heart:
Jaa... 48 is about skinship

Offline sadrilim

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Re: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions
« Reply #43 on: June 10, 2016, 04:20:05 AM »
Ouch?!

A angst OS of Yuiparu

it hurt to see them suffer. Wish you could continue the OS author san.


Offline hakase309

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Re: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions
« Reply #44 on: August 15, 2016, 04:33:36 AM »
you don't know how I craving for YuiParu these day .....
THANK YOU VERY MUCH
the plots is excellent and the angst pls continue it i'm begging you
 :gyaaah: :gyaaah: :gyaaah: :gyaaah:

Offline chocolatepandastarlight

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Re: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions
« Reply #45 on: August 15, 2016, 05:36:17 AM »
You're just amazing! Please more yuiparu!!
Domo arigato gozaimasuuu author san!! :cow: :cow: :cow:

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Offline DeNight

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Re: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions
« Reply #46 on: August 15, 2016, 04:05:59 PM »
Dear Friends,

It's been almost two months since the last time I post a fic on this thread. I am sorry for that. I was actually thrilled with the number of responses you all gave for "Midnight Rides". I've been thinking to write a continuation--I even promised Sadrilim-san that a long time ago. But then, life turned even more hectic--more than I imagined it could be. I got a promotion at work and it should have been a good thing. But, like Uncle Ben said to Peter Parker in that Spiderman movie: with great power comes great responsibility. So forget writing--I don't even get enough time to sleep lately. But, I really appreciate all of your likes and comments. So, I did try to write in between these crazy schedules of mine.

@junchan: I'll try, okay  :) ?

@Kairi65: Ouch... that's probably why I've been having headaches lately. Stop hitting the poor voodoo doll! *Chuckle* Just kidding. Here's what you've been waiting for :)

@TotyTRC: Hahaha... Your comment literally put a smile on my face. I know it's not soon enough. But, hey... Better late than never, right :) ?

@Minami-chan: Hahaha... No, she's not.  ;)

@Haruko: Thank you! Here's the next part :)

@faanpal: Eee...? Really...? *blush*

@sadrilim: I know it took me a long while to come up with this. But, a promise is a promise. Here's for you :)

@hakase309 & @chocolatepandastarlight: Thank you. Looks like it's your lucky day  ;)

This continuation of "Midnight Rides" comes in parts. Considering my circumstances now, I want to say sorry ahead of time if it takes me a long time to complete it.



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MORNING LIGHT (1)



What is the greatest happiness one can achieve in this world? The answer may be different for different people. For me, it is to be a mother. As cliché as it may seem, that is the only answer I will give for that question.

I made some mistakes in the past. Some of them were so big that I would never be able to amend them. Joining an audition for an idol group before even experiencing a first love might be a mistake. Simply going with the flow when I was told that I was accepted might also be a mistake. Falling in love and starting to date in secret was clearly another mistake. Agreeing on having sex without protection with a man who refused to take any responsibility of his actions... was probably the biggest mistake of all.

But, no matter how I ended up with a child, I will never see my child as a mistake. On the contrary, he was the one that set my life right again. He was the one who saved me. He was the one who brought colors back into my black and white days. He was the morning light that chased the darkness away from my endless nights full of crying.

Hikaru.

Despite what his father, my parents, and my manager said to me, I had never wanted to let him go. But, hiding his bulging presence inside my womb was hard. I couldn’t keep on lying to people around me. I couldn’t keep on lying to my fans. So, when the doctor said that he was strong enough to survive a long travel—as long as I am being really careful—I decided to quit my job and leave the country.

It was hard. It took my parents three whole years to forgive me and the decision I made. But, even then, it was still too early to move back to Japan. I didn’t want my son to be the target of any kind of media circus. So, for ten years, there were only the two of us.

I used up all my savings to keep us alive during the first few years of Hikaru’s life. I knew that we wouldn’t be able to survive like that for long. So, when he was old enough to be enrolled in some government funded daycare, I started to apply for small jobs here and there.

To keep me sane in the middle of harsh reality, I took night classes in a small community college to study fashion design. The lecturers were really nice. They let me took Hikaru with me whenever I attended their classes. Seeing Hikaru making his own abstract drawings and paintings in class became the highlight of my days.

After getting my degree, I got a job offer as a designer in a bridal owned by Miss Itano—one of my lecturers. During my second year working there, she encouraged me to start my own clothing lines. Hikaru had started attending the elementary school that year so I had some extra time to spend alone. Instead of using it to work more at her bridal, Miss Itano said that I should start making my own products and put it up online. She also said that I could use her workshop to do it and she knew some people who might be able to help me starting my own business.

“I am also a Japanese who left the country and started everything from scratch. Our reasons may be different. But, if I can succeed here, I believe that you will, too. You need to struggle and work extra hard. For your own sake and Hikaru’s.”

Her words gave me hope and courage to move forward. I did as she told me to do. It was not easy. But, as the general manager of my idol group used to say: hard work will always be rewarded. And it really was. Three years after starting my own clothing lines, I was able to move back to Japan with Hikaru.

I started to work mainly from home. I worked on some new designs at home while Hikaru was in school, then I sent them to my workshop in Ascot. The samples of the end products would be delivered and displayed in Miss Itano’s boutique in London. The clients would then be able to place pre-order requests there or purchase them online.

Business was booming. I had been talking on the phone with a couple of boutique owners in Milan and Paris who were also interested in selling my products. The trend had even reached Japan. Since the products were not available for purchase here, seeing some people wearing dresses or suits with the word SALT on them always seemed amusing to me. If only they knew that the designer was actually a Japanese living in a modest apartment in Tokyo...

But, I knew that I had to keep a low profile. I had no interest in coming back under the media spotlight. Life was good the way it was. No need to add any unwanted attention and curiosity in it.

“Mom, you’re coming to school with me today, right?” Hikaru said while munching on his breakfast that morning, about a month after we moved to Japan.

“Am I?”

“Moooom..! I’ve told you about it yesterday!” he whined, clearly annoyed by my reaction, “My homeroom teacher wants to see you. She said that she wants to talk about my progress in the new school and there are still some documents you need to turn in or something.”

“I know. I’m just teasing you,” I ruffled his hair, “Hurry up and finish your breakfast then. I’ll take you to school.”

As I drove him to school that morning, Hikaru kept on talking about his homeroom teacher. He said that she was young and really cool. She taught music, she sang really beautifully, she could play some different instruments really well, and so on and so forth. I laughed a little, thinking that the teacher must be really amazing or Hikaru was just having a big crush on her.

I started to look forward to seeing this teacher of his. I wanted to know what she actually looked like. I would probably be able to tease Hikaru about it later.
I was smiling when I knocked the door to the teacher’s office that morning, asking for the homeroom teacher of year 4 class A. I was still smiling when the male teacher who I met at the door asked me to come in and have a seat while he tried to get the music teacher for me. I still had the same smile on my face when she came closer. But, when she was right in front of me and I stood up to greet her, my smile faltered.

 “Good morning. My name is Yokoyama Yui. I am Hikaru’s homeroom teacher,” she bowed.

Was she...? But, how was that possible? The last time I saw her, she was not a teacher...

 “My name is Shimazaki Haruka. I am Hikaru’s mother,” I also bowed, trying to regain my composure.

She asked me to have a seat before she sat on a chair across mine. Then, she started talking about Hikaru’s grades, showing me his test scores. She also talked about how Hikaru’s ability to speak Japanese really helped him in making friends and adjusting to the school. But, she thought, it might still be hard for Hikaru to study some subjects like history and social science with his current level of Japanese. So she suggested that it might be better to provide a supplementary Japanese lesson for him. She then started to mention some language schools that had classes for that and explained the differences in methods and schedules. I could see that she was a really good homeroom teacher. But, during all of her explanation, I couldn’t help but focusing mainly on her face.

She looked slightly different from what I remembered. She looked more mature. Her hair was longer than I remembered and she had a pair of glasses on. Was she really the person I thought she was?

“Shimazaki-san?” she looked up from the papers she had been reading.

“Ah, yes?” I was a bit startled, “I am sorry. What was that?”

“I said, I will leave the decision to you. But, the deadlines for the language school application are mostly next week. So, you may need to decide soon.”

“Ah, all right.”

“And I think you still haven’t turned in the certified Japanese translation of Hikaru’s birth certificate. I think that is the only required documents that you didn’t submit along with the school application form. But, let me check again, just to make sure.”

She started to check the documents in some folders while tidying up the test papers and the notes that were scattered on the table.

“Ano... Yokoyama-sensei,” I decided to try asking.

“Yes?” she responded without looking at me.

“Have you always been an elementary school teacher?”

She stopped turning the pages of the documents she was checking. There was a couple seconds of silence. She was not looking at me when she answered.

“No. It’s still my second year teaching.”

I was torn. I knew that asking further would be impolite. But, I really wanted to know.

“What did you do for a living before becoming a teacher?”

She didn’t stop what she was doing this time when she said, “Is there any particular reason for that question?”

“Oh, no,” I immediately said, “Sorry... I’m just... curious.”

She finished checking the folder in her hand and took another folder before answering.

“I worked as a taxi driver for five years before attending a university to get my teaching qualification.”

Her answer confirmed what I had in mind.

“By any chance... Were you working around Saitama area?”

She was still looking at the documents when she said, “I was.”

My heart was pounding hard.

“It is not the first time we meet.”

She looked up from the documents she was checking, looking at me straight in the eyes. A small smile was forming on her lips.

“No, Ma’am. It’s not.”

I felt my heart skipped a beat.






To be continued...


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« Last Edit: November 17, 2016, 02:38:10 PM by DeNight »

Offline Haruko

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Re: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions
« Reply #47 on: August 16, 2016, 01:43:28 AM »
I couldn't believe that you really did it! THANK YOU!!!! OMG so many things coul happen :D I'm waiting for te next chapter
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Offline chocolatepandastarlight

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Re: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions
« Reply #48 on: August 16, 2016, 06:33:11 AM »
You're soo awesome autthor cheers!  :cow:

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog

Offline TotyTRC

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Re: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions
« Reply #49 on: August 16, 2016, 06:08:48 PM »
My, my, what do we have here? *sips on her cup of coffee*
First of all, thank you for giving us the continuation of this story. I must admit I forgot for a bit xD but I'm really glad you kept on writing about it. Also, congratulations on your promotion!
Now, my ramblings about the story <3 : OMG!!!! This is great! Poor little Haruka, having to raise a child all by herself and in a different country. Nice thing she worked hard for her little family <3 my biggest thanks to Miss Itano. Now, Yui as a teacher... just how lovely that must be? Though I must say, by the expectations on her job she might be a more extrovert character (at least with children) than the taxi driver one. As I can notice, Haruka and Yui aren't the ones they used to be 10 years ago, and that proves that people change. In addition, might it be that Yui had mixed feelings about seeing Haruka again? I was about to faint with the dialogues at the end: "it's not the first time we meet."
and then the final shot: "No, ma'am. It is not."
And I was like: OOOOOOOOMMMMMMGGGGGGG SHE CALLED HER "MA'AM" OMGOMGOMG!!!
So yeah, if you still have any doubts, I enjoyed it very much <3
I'll be patient for the next chapter. Again, thank you!

Offline Haruko

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Re: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions
« Reply #50 on: August 17, 2016, 12:55:03 AM »
My, my, what do we have here? *sips on her cup of coffee*
First of all, thank you for giving us the continuation of this story. I must admit I forgot for a bit xD but I'm really glad you kept on writing about it. Also, congratulations on your promotion!
Now, my ramblings about the story <3 : OMG!!!! This is great! Poor little Haruka, having to raise a child all by herself and in a different country. Nice thing she worked hard for her little family <3 my biggest thanks to Miss Itano. Now, Yui as a teacher... just how lovely that must be? Though I must say, by the expectations on her job she might be a more extrovert character (at least with children) than the taxi driver one. As I can notice, Haruka and Yui aren't the ones they used to be 10 years ago, and that proves that people change. In addition, might it be that Yui had mixed feelings about seeing Haruka again? I was about to faint with the dialogues at the end: "it's not the first time we meet."
and then the final shot: "No, ma'am. It is not."
And I was like: OOOOOOOOMMMMMMGGGGGGG SHE CALLED HER "MA'AM" OMGOMGOMG!!!
So yeah, if you still have any doubts, I enjoyed it very much <3
I'll be patient for the next chapter. Again, thank you!

Totytrc is trying to be polite but in reallity she loves so much your fic that keep blaberring (in a good way) about your fic a lot with me....  XD
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Offline sadrilim

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Re: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions
« Reply #51 on: August 17, 2016, 02:02:35 PM »
Wow, finally you update author san.  :cow:

I miss your story.

psst... i never know that Yui is a girl in this story (MORNING LIGHT (1)).  :lol:

Offline wmxmy

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Re: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions
« Reply #52 on: August 24, 2016, 07:24:01 PM »
 :inlove: thank you thank you and thank you
I'm just so happy ok. .speechless. overjoyed :fap  :lol:
But really, your ff was so so good and it's really worth the wait.

yarazu ni koukai, yatte koukai

Offline DeNight

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Re: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions
« Reply #53 on: November 17, 2016, 03:31:53 PM »
Dear Friends,

It took me about two months to write and post the first part of this story. Then, today, I realized that it took me about three months to write and post this second part. I hope it won't take me four months to write and post the next one... I don't know how long this story will go. I haven't been able to see the ending yet. But, I am determined to write it until the end, especially now that Paruru's graduation is coming closer... I don't know about you, Friends. But, for me, fanfictions will probably be my only resort for more YuiParu in the future... I'm sorry to start this with such a gloomy mood.

Anyway, I am really thrilled over all of your comments. Thank you :) I'm sorry that I didn't reply them immediately. And for all of you, Silent Readers, thank you and please keep on reading :)


@Haruko: You’re very welcome :)  I couldn’t believe it myself. But, I hope you’re still waiting. About TotyTRC,... Really? What was that blabbering about? I want to know more! Hehe... Anyway, I’m glad that the stories could be a topic in your conversations. I believe that good communication maintains and improves relationship—any kind of relationship. Hope you both can get along well for as long as possible :)

@chocolatepandastarlight: Eh? Thank you :oops: Cheers.

@TotyTRC: You’re welcome, thank you, and it’s all right  :P  To be honest, work and life forced me to forget about it for a while as well. But, I’m back and still writing XD  I’m glad that you enjoyed the story so much. I always enjoy your analysis and comment on my fic as well. I hope you’ll enjoy this part, too. :)

@sadrilim: Thank you :) I miss your story, too. You know I read all of them, right? If I didn't leave any comment or like, it just meant that I read them without logging in, so I couldn't leave any. Sorry XD About the story, I guess you were not the only one, Buddy. It was unintentional, but I didn’t really mention Yui’s gender in Midnight Rides. Given her male-dominated field of work, guess it’s easier to imagine her as a he there. But, as much as I enjoy reading GB stories, I don't really write any :)

@wmxmy: You’re welcome, you’re welcome, you’re welcome XD  I’m really glad that you like the fic. I’m sorry that the waiting time is getting longer and longer  :oops:



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



MORNING LIGHT (2)



“This is not right.”

I sighed for the nth time today and erased the sketch I just made on my drawing book. Nothing seemed right lately. Since I met Yokoyama-sensei a couple months ago, I found it hard to concentrate. I kept getting distracted. Whenever my mind strayed away from whatever I was doing, it kept getting back to that day.


“It is not the first time we meet.”

“No, Ma’am. It’s not.”



Her smile... She clearly remembered me. Yet, she did not say anything else other than Hikaru’s progress in school.

What was I hoping anyway? Was I hoping for longer conversation? More personal one? Some words on what happened between us ten years ago?

No.

No, because there was no “us” in the first place. Granted, she was practically my personal secret driver for a month or two. But, we barely had any conversation. I did not even know her name until that meeting a couple months ago.


Yet you thought it was okay to sleep with her.


There it went again. The voice of conscience, some people might say. But, for me, it was just the voice of confusion. It’s going to drive me insane.

Yes, I got intimate with her. Once. It was only once and I did not think it was okay. Truth be told, I did not think at all—although perhaps I should have.
I had never thought of myself as gay. Not in the slightest bit. But, I was sad. I was depressed. I was frustrated. Devastated. And, with her being the only one showing some warmth and kindness...


So, you used her to make you feel better.


No!

Well... Yes. I used her. But, it did not make me feel any better. I felt horrible. I felt even more horrible each time I thought about it so I tried not to think about it at all.


That was why you dumped her right after you used her.


“Okay, stop! Just...stop!”

With my eyes closed, I put my forehead on the desk and tried to picture a stop sign in my mind—something my therapist taught me to do, years ago when I was deep in my depression. I needed this mean superego to stop for a minute. I had to think about the here and now, about what I could and wanted to do about my situation—and I would not be able to do that with it kept on criticizing my past decisions and actions.

I thought that I had conquered this long ago. I thought that I had succeeded in getting rid of that self-blaming side of me which dragged me down into the pitch black darkness once. But, no. Turned out that it was just diminished and locked up in a dark corner of my mind, like an evil genie trapped in a glass bottle—and, even if it was unintentional, that woman had unleashed it when she re-appeared in my life.

I tried to take a deep breath a few times until I felt a bit calmer. Then, I decided to move away from my desk. There was no point in forcing myself to continue working at times like this. She would come in less than an hour anyway.

Yes. A few days ago, Hikaru had said something about Yokoyama-sensei’s visits to the students’ houses. She would talk to each parent about the progress of their children in school and ask about their condition at home. She was scheduled to visit ours today. About forty-three minutes from now. Perhaps that was why I felt even more agitated than usual.

I tried to dismiss that thought and walked to the kitchen area—wiping the top of the counter for the fourth time today on my way. I grabbed the remote and turned the TV on as I drank a glass of water to calm my nerves. Then, I walked to the couch, making sure that everything on the coffee table was neat and tidy, before I leaned back and closed my eyes. I decided to stay like that until she came. The low noise from the TV in the background helped drowned any unnecessary comments in my mind.

But, it turned out that nothing could really prepare me for seeing her up close again.

Shitsureisimasu,” she said as she entered the apartment.

We did not really exchange any word as she took her shoes off so I just stood there in the hallway like a statue. I offered her something to drink as she took a seat on the couch, preparing the assignment papers of Hikaru she needed to show me later. After I brought her a glass of water, I sat on the adjacent seat. Then, just like a couple months ago, she started talking, but I could not really concentrate in anything she said. All I could think about was how the time had treated her well.

“So that was all the progress we have seen so far. Hikaru has been doing really well. I believe that he also makes more friends lately. With the improvement in his Japanese and his circle of friends, I am guessing that he also feel more and more at ease with the school life lately?”

“Yes.”

“Is he at the language school this afternoon?”

“Yes.”

“I see. I am glad that you decided to enroll him in that language school, Shimazaki-san. Did his teacher at the language school say anything about his progress?”

This time, I tried to answer with more than just a “Yes.” As I told her about Hikaru’s progress in the language school, I could feel some warmth spreading within me. I could feel my mood improved and my lips stretched up to form a smile. I did not know whether every mother feel this way about their child or not. But, talking about Hikaru always made me feel better. I guessed it was written all over my face because I could see that Yokoyama-sensei had started to smile as well.

But, happiness did not stay for long. It never did around me. Not even today.

Right when I was talking eagerly about Hikaru’s thought on the language school, a new CM was on. A familiar voice from the TV stopped me in my track and forced me to look its way. My eyes were glued on the screen as the smiling face of a man I knew all too well was shown.

That man.

I knew that he was still in the industry. I had heard that he was less popular after he graduated from his idol group, but he still got some jobs every now and then—some small roles here and there. I managed to avoid seeing him by not watching any drama or movie he was starring and immediately changed the channel every time a CM was on. But, I was too distracted today, I did not even turned the TV off when Yokoyama-sensei came.

“Shimazaki-san?”

Her question brought me back to earth.

“Ah, I am sorry. Just a second,” I said as I tried to change the channel.

But, it seemed like the universe was in the mood for a bad joke. The next channel had the same CM on. The next channel after that had his old drama on re-run.

“Shimazaki-san?”

I kept on changing the channel, trying to look for one that was not showing his new CM or his old CM or his drama or a trailer of a movie he was starring...

“Shimazaki-san.”

Yokoyama-sensei’s hands on mine stopped me from continuing to click the remote for another channel.

“It’s all right,” she said as she took the remote from my hand and pushed the power button to turn the TV off.

I did not realize that my hand had been shaking until she took that remote with her right hand. Her left hand was still holding mine. The right hand soon joined it. She held both of my hands and looked at me in the eyes.

“It is all right,” she repeated softly.

She then released them and tidied up the papers on the table, putting them back in a folder, then in her bag.

“I’m...I’m sorry,” I heard myself said.

She stopped what she was doing and gave me a small smile.

“There’s nothing to apologize for, Shimazaki-san. I can see that it may not be a convenient time for you. Thank you for your patience. We can continue this conversation some other time. I think another home visit has been scheduled to take place after the term’s final exams. If you have any question before that, please feel free to contact me at school. I’ll be happy to answer your question,” she said.

I did not know what to say. I did not mean to make her feel uncomfortable or thought that it was time for her to leave. I did not want her to leave... But, all I could do was sitting there in silence, looking down on my shaking hands.

She sat there for another minute before she sighed and said, “It’s never going to be easy, is it?”

I raised my head and saw her sad smile.

“That expression on your face,” she continued, “Even after all this time, it’s never easy for me to see that.”

Then, as if a déjà vu, she took a handkerchief out of her pocket and held it in front of me. Slowly, I took the handkerchief from her hand. I did not even realize that a drop of tear had trailed down my cheek until it dropped down on the handkerchief.

“To be honest,” she said, “I didn’t come only for the home visit.”

She took something from her bag and held it against her chest.

“Maybe this is not a convenient time for you. But, it is also inconvenient for me to hold onto this any longer.”

I did not understand what she meant. I could only look at her with a question in my eyes. Perhaps, she understood my confusion because she then put the thing on the table.

“This is yours. I don’t need it. I don’t want it. I can’t take it.”

She kept the smile on her face, but I could see that it was not a pleasant one. I turned my gaze to the table and immediately recognized the thick brown envelope. Right at that moment, memories from that night, ten years ago, came back to haunt me.

I felt terrible. I felt horrible. Fear, frustration, guilt, shame, anger, sadness, and a million other negative emotions washed over me. I did not know when or how I completely broke down and cry. All I could remember was that I kept saying sorry over and over again.


But, no matter how many times I said it, sorry could never change a thing.








To be continued...



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End Note:
I have some ideas for the continuation, but I'm also open to suggestion. So, feel free to let me know whatever you have in mind or want to read in the next parts of this story, Friends :)

Offline ミサキ

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Re: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions
« Reply #54 on: November 17, 2016, 04:04:21 PM »
e-eh? so paru dumped yui back then? ...cruel :smhid

and welcome back author-san... thank you for effort to update it :thumbsup
just a simple otaku and silent reader

Offline TotyTRC

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Re: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions
« Reply #55 on: November 24, 2016, 05:26:11 AM »
Aaaaaaaaand my heart broke 💔
Okay, I liked it. I actually loved it. It was... marvelous. I was prepared for the worst scenario and to be it not a dramatic but passive one is what made it even more delightful. So simple yet full of emotions. I just love this.
I'm amazed of how you wrote Haruka's feelings towards seeing Yui one more time and having to deal with it from now on. She still has that guilty conscience in which tries to excuse herself by the mess she was then but still knows she did wrong. She can't bring herself to move on from what she did to Yui. And THE guy. Ugh, even I felt sorry about her having the tv as a constant reminder of her mistakes in the past.
But Yui. OMG Yui. She always breaks my heart (actually the fanfics I've been reading always tend to make her suffer so I find this both depressing and cool because who doesn't want to take part in a feels trip with their oshi? XD). Lil' baby got stuck on what happened ten years ago and is recently trying to move on... I just can't imagine how hard must it be for her trying to get rid of that heavy burden in her chest. And I absolutely LOVE it how she still acts so cool and calm <3
Anyways, now that you are receiving advices/opinions of what to do next, I hope you could write the next chapter under Yui's point of view so we can all see how has she been dealing with what happened recently. Either way, I bet you'll bring us a good chapter like the ones you have made us get used to <3
Thanks for writing!

P.S.: Do not believe Haruko... OKAY :v maybe a little bit. We both tend to discuss the fanfics we like and talk about the characters and story as if those were real things. It's so fun~

Offline DeNight

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Re: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions
« Reply #56 on: December 16, 2016, 12:40:09 PM »
Dear Friends,

Thank you for waiting. Despite the hectic schedule, I somehow managed to finish and post this part just one month after I posted the previous one. So, I guess... it's a good thing :) ?

Thank you for the kind comments. Another thanks for those who hit the thank you button. And, no, I haven't forget you, Dear Silent Readers. Thanks to you, too :)

 @ミサキ: You're welcome and thank you for welcoming me back XD  Yeah... she kinda did. But, was she really cruel? Hm... Guess you need to read on to find out about that :)

@Tupi: Why? これは愛ですね。。。 Hehehe. But, yeah... Yuihan was my oshimen even before I found Paruru and became a YuiParu shipper. So, there may be some biases... That's why Yuihan seems like such an angel here... XD

@TotyTRC: Sorry to break your heart. But, I enjoyed reading your comment (like always :) ). Yeah, having a superstar as a lover (or an ex) doesn't really seem awesome if we think about it, isn't it? I still don't know what to do about "that guy" part in this story. But, oh well... Guess it will come to me eventually. In the mean time, I still need to stick with Paruru's PoV for this part. But, I'll try to use Yui's PoV for the next part. Something that only she can reveal is coming up next. So... stay tuned? (I will believe Haruko's words. Just a little bit  :P )



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MORNING LIGHT (3)



 “I’m hooooooome.”


Hikaru came in a really bad time. I was in the middle of my breakdown with Yokoyama-sensei right beside me, trying to calm me down. I should not have given him his own key to the apartment because, in between my tears, I could see that his face suddenly turned pale in shock to see the scene. He immediately rushed to my side.


“Mom!? Mom, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

I could not give him any answer. What answer was there to give anyway?

“Sensei! What happened? What did you do to my mom!?”

The accusation in his voice was evident.

“I-I didn’t... It’s...”


It must have not been easy for Yokoyama-sensei to respond to the questions. After all, she did not know anything either. The reason of my breakdown, she had never known anything about it.


“What did you do to my mom!?”

“I..”

I reached for Hikaru. I wanted to tell him that he got it wrong. Yokoyama-sensei did not do anything. But, it was as if I had lost my ability to speak.

“Forget it. Sensei, please leave us alone.”

Hikaru’s voice turned cold. Hikaru was never cold.

“But...”

“Please leave!”

There was a moment of silent. The only sound left was my sobs.

“I understand,” Yokoyama-sensei finally said quietly.

She moved back to the adjacent couch to collect her bag.

“Thank you for your time, Shimazaki-san. I am very sorry if I made you upset.”

She then bowed and took her leave.


I was still sobbing when I heard the door was opened and then closed. I was still sobbing when Hikaru held me and said that everything will be okay. I was still sobbing when he slowly guided me to my bedroom and lay down with me on the bed.

I did not know when I fell asleep. When I opened my eyes, I could see the light of dawn sneaking in through the gap in between the curtains. I had stopped sobbing. But, my head was throbbing and I did not feel like talking at all. I did not even want to leave my bed. So, I just curled up in a fetal position and pulled the blanket to cover myself all the way to my head. I stayed that way for a couple days.

In those couple days, Hikaru stayed with me and tried to take care of everything for the both of us. He took showers regularly without my having to tell him. He took some changes that I usually left in a glass jar on the kitchen counter and went to the convenient store downstairs to get us something to eat twice a day. He tried to clean as much as he could. He prepared change of clothes for me although he knew that I still did not want to move from the bed. He even read me some bedtime stories from his book collection. He acted like everything was okay—like he did not have a mom who was so deeply troubled; she could not even function at all.

With everything he did, once again, he saved me. He brought back the light into the pitch black corner where I tried to just curl up and die.

In the third morning, I finally dragged myself out of the bed and took a shower. Relief and happiness was clearly shown in Hikaru’s eyes. He was practically beaming when he put a couple slices of bread in the toaster in his attempt to prepare some breakfast for us. He was even humming some cheerful children song while he put some chocolate spread on his toast and started chewing.


“Hikaru,” I said as I spread some butter on mine.

“Yes?” he looked at me with a wide smile on his face—so happy that I was finally talking again.

“You need to go to school today.”

His smile faltered.

“You can’t keep on skipping your classes, Sweetheart,” I ruffled his hair and tried to form a smile, “I am okay now.”

He looked down, seeming unhappy, but still mumbled an, “All right.”

I sighed before adding, “And you need to apologize to Yokoyama-sensei.”

He looked up to me. His eyebrows were forming a squint.

“What happened to me... It was not her fault,” I said before he could protest.

He looked back down and stayed silent for a while before muttering, “I know.”

“You know?” the squint was in between my eyebrows now.

“I know,” he repeated, “It was not the first time. It happened before.”

Yes. It did happen a few times before. But, I did not think that he knew out about it. I thought that I hid it well.

“I may be a child, but I have ears,” he said, “I heard everything. I knew Uncle Jay was not just a friend. He was your doctor. I knew that each time Miss Itano or the Granny next door asked me to spend some nights at their places, it was because things like this happened and you could not take care of me. I know, Mom.”

He looked straight into my eyes. Pain was all over his eyes. I was speechless.

“But, I also know that it had been a long time since the last time it happened. You were getting better. You were all right. You were happy... You were... Until Yokoyama-sensei came for the home-visit!”

“Hikaru...”

“She may not be the one giving you this problem. But, you were getting better, Mom... and she ruined it!”

He was clearly upset. So, I moved away from my chair and went to give him a hug—letting him to cry in my arms.

“I’m sorry, Sweetheart. I’m really sorry. I didn’t want you to feel troubled by all this,” I said as I moved my hand up and down his back.

Hikaru shook his head.

“I’d rather know...,” he mumbled in between his sobs, “I love you, Mom... I want to help... I want to protect you...”

I gave him a kiss on his forehead, “I love you, too, Sweetheart. Thank you.”

I broke our hug and wiped away his tears.

“I only have you, Mom... If anything happens to you... I’m scared... I don’t want to be alone...”

I smiled. I only had him, too.

“You won’t be alone. I promise. I will try my best to get even better. So, don’t worry too much, okay?”

He nodded although some fresh tears were still trying to escape from the corner of his eyes.

“And you still need to apologize to Yokoyama-sensei.”

He was trying to object, but I put my hands on the sides of his face and lowered myself until my eyes and his were on the same level.

“She didn’t do anything bad. Something happened. It made me feel really upset. But, it was not her. She didn’t know anything. She was confused and was just trying to help when you came in and saw us. All right?”

He looked into my eyes for a second before he lowered his eyes and mumbled, “So she didn’t hurt you?”

“No, she didn’t.”

“She didn’t make you feel upset?”

“No.”

“She tried to help?”

“Yes.”

He stayed silent again.

“Do you feel bad now?” I asked.

He slowly nodded.

“So, do you understand why you need to apologize to her?”

He nodded again.

“And you’re going to go to school today so you can see her and say sorry?”

Another nod.

“All right. Then get ready, Sweetheart. I’m going to get ready, too. I was the one who got her in trouble. So, I’ll take you to school and apologize to her as well.”


It was already 7.30 in the morning. So we rushed to make sure that we would be able to get to the school before the first bell rang. I was hoping that I could find Yokoyama-sensei and apologize before the class started—thinking that it might make it easier for Hikaru and her to interact with each other again later on. So, I tried to drive as fast as I could without breaking the speed limit. I had a lot to explain to her after all.

However, although we were able to arrive ten minutes before the bell rang, Yokoyama-sensei was nowhere to be found.


“Yokoyama-sensei?” Oshima-sensei, Hikaru’s gym teacher, responded to my question, “I don’t think she’s here today. Hmm... come to think of it, I don’t think I saw her here yesterday either.”

Since she did not seem to know where Yokoyama-sensei was, I was about to thank her and took my leave. But, then the school nurse walked by and Oshima-sensei called her out.

“Ah, Watanabe-sensei! Have you seen Yokoyama-sensei today?”

Watanabe-sensei stopped and turned our way.

“No. I don’t think that she’ll be here today. She called in sick the day before yesterday. She hasn’t come to the school since then,” she answered.

“Hmm... it may be quite serious if she needs to take a few days off. She usually still comes to school even when she’s not feeling well. I don’t think she ever took a sick leave before.”

I started feeling uneasy upon hearing Oshima-sensei’s words.

“Well, about that, I think she did take a week off last year. Right around this time of the year, not long before the end of term exams. But, you’re right. She never took any leave other than that.”

Watanabe-sensei left after that—continuing to walk to where she was heading before. I was supposed to take my leave as well. But, I was still rooted on my spot in front of the teacher’s office.



The day before yesterday... Does that mean something happened right after she left our apartment?



“Shimazaki-san?”

Oshima-sensei stopped my mind from wandering further.

“Is there anything important you need to discuss with Yokoyama-sensei? If there’s any, I can take a message and give it to her later...”

“No,” I immediately answered, “No... It’s all right, Oshima-sensei. Thank you.”


I bowed down and was ready to leave. Oshima-sensei tilted her head a bit. I could feel that she was still looking at me even as I started walking away.


“Shimazaki-san!”


I stopped when she called my name and ran toward me. When she stopped right next to me, she showed me a wide grin and started scribbling on her clipboard. I could only give her a questioning look when she tore the end of the paper and gave it to me.

“Just in case you would like to visit her. But, don’t tell her that you get that from me, okay? Yui-chan may get mad at me if she knows.”



She ended that explanation with a conspiratorial wink.







To be continued...



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Offline KyouyaAnis

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Re: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions
« Reply #57 on: December 17, 2016, 10:36:09 AM »
MYGOD UPDATE!!!!! WHAT HAPPEN NEXT! PLEASE UPDATE SOON AUTHOR-SAN  :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow:

Offline DeNight

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Re: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions
« Reply #58 on: December 21, 2016, 12:11:36 PM »
Dear Friends,

I tried to update as fast as I could. But, got some technical problems posting on the thread before. (I had tried to post three times, but the page always reload even before I finished my post... Perhaps it's a problem with my connection). Anyway, thank you for reading the previous chapter. Another thanks for those who clicked on the thanks button. Another extra thanks for those who have left some comments :)


@KyouyaAnis: It's always nice to see a new comment, especially an excited one. Thank you :)

@Tupi: You're welcome! Here's the next update :)


I have to apologize, though. Although I've said that this part will be written from Yuihan's PoV, I went ahead and wrote it from a third-person PoV. But, no worries, the third-person PoV follows Yuihan. All things considered, I think, this may be a more suitable PoV for this part. So, please don't hate me XD


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MORNING LIGHT (4)



Onee-chan, I’m scared...

Don’t worry, I got you. I won’t let him hurt you.

But,... But, he got a knife...

But, he doesn’t know where we are now, so if we stay quiet, he won’t find us.

But, Onee-chan...

It’s all right, I’ll be here. I’ll protect you, okay?

...Okay.

Good. Now, sleep Yui. Sleep. The police will be here soon. We’ll be safe. For now, just sleep...



Yokoyama Yui was startled. She did not mean to take a nap. But, no matter how hard she tried to stay awake, sleep would sneak past her and everything would replayed itself in her mind. It was so vivid as if everything really did happen again for real—repeating itself over and over again. But, no matter how many times it repeated itself over the years, Yui could never do anything—let alone to change anything.

It was tiring. But, there was nothing Yui could do. The flashbacks were not something she could deliberately summon or cast away—not that she did not want to do just that. She wished she could do something about it. But, whoever was up there never seemed to grant her wishes.

Ten years ago, she decided to start taking some pills to help her sleep at night. When she was able to form a better routine without the pills, she thought that she would never have to worry about insomnia anymore. However, when that particular time of the year came around, she would start losing her night sleep again. She would stay awake for days until her body could not stand it any longer and started to shut itself down for multiple short naps during the day. But, each nap was always packed with its own terror.

Yokoyama Yui tried to turn to her right side, but she could not. Her body was stiff and aching all over. She also felt nauseous like she was having a massive hang over. When was the last time she got anything to eat? She could not remember. She did not even know what day it was or how long she had stayed in her room. She did not really care anyway. She would stay there for as long as it takes for the hurricane in her mind to pass.


“Ah, Yui-chan, you’re awake!”


Yui looked to her left side and found Kitahara Rie, who used to live with Sashihara Rino on the second floor, walking toward her with a bucket of water.


“Rie-san?” she knitted her brows.

Haiiii,” the woman answered in affirmative while taking a lukewarm damp towel off Yui’s forehead.

“What are you doing here?” Yui’s voice sounded hoarse.

“What do you mean what I’m doing here? I’m taking care of you, of course!”

“But... You’ve moved to Niigata for work last year...”

“Yes. But, I am allowed to take a few days off and visit an old friend, aren’t I?”

“But... How did you get in?”


Rie, who was squeezing the towel after soaking it in the bucket, stopped her movement and looked at Yui with a bored expression.


“Really, Yui? We’ve been friends and neighbors for years and you think I didn’t know where you hide your spare key?” she said while folding the damp towel and put it back on Yui’s forehead, “You should really change the hiding place from time to time, you know. Otherwise, some bad people may find out and break into your place.”

“Well... There’s nothing worth robbing here,” Yui said while looking at the ceiling.

“Probably. But, you are here and anything can happen, you know,” Rie said, looking worried.


Yui did not say anything in response. She just kept on looking at the ceiling, feeling the cold damp towel on her forehead. Did she have a fever? Was that why she felt nauseous? She could not even keep track on the current state of her body.


“Yui-chan...”

Rie’s voice broke her quiet musing.

“You know that Sasshi and I care about you, right?”

Instead of answering the question, Yui asked, “How’s Sashihara-san?”

“She’s all right. Long distance relationship turns out to be harder and more complicated than we initially thought. But, we can still manage. She has a really good career in Hakata. Being able to work with idols seemed like a dream comes true for a big fan like her after all. But, even with all her busy schedule managing the group, she never forgets people who are close to her. In fact, she was the one who called me last night, saying that we may need to check on you, considering that your health problems usually come up around this time of the year.”


Once again Yui did not say anything in response. Seeing her like that, Rie just sighed and patted her head.


“I was going to make some lunch and prepare some dinner for later. But, there’s nothing in the fridge. So, I’m going out for a bit, okay? I’ll just grab some things from the grocery store nearby. I’ll be right back.”


Yui looked at her retreating back for a while.


“Rie-san,” she finally said.

“Yes?” the woman turned around.

Arigatou...

“No need to say thanks,” she smiled widely, “For now, just get some rest, okay? Sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”


Sleep was actually the last thing Yui wanted to do. She would rather stay awake for as long as possible. So she just stared at the ceiling.

She did not know how long she had been staring. But, it did not seem that long until she could hear the sound of the flat door being opened.


“Rie-san?” she called out.


No answer. But, she could hear a pair of shoes being taken off before the sound of footsteps came closer.


“It sure was fast...,” Yui said absent-mindedly.


But, still, there was no answer. It felt odd. Kitahara Rie was always the attentive type who would respond to anything others said, no matter how trivial. So, when the footsteps sound came even closer, Yui turned her head to the side, trying to take a look at her.



To her horror, the person who looked back at her was not Kitahara Rie.



It was a masked man with a bloody knife in his hand. He loomed above Yui, ready to swing his knife anytime. In shock, Yokoyama Yui felt as if she was petrified.


No... No... You’re dead! You can’t hurt me! You’re not real!


The man smiled. Although half of his face was hidden beneath the mask, somehow, Yui could just tell that his lips were slowly stretched into an evil grin. Then, he raised his knife, holding it with both hands above Yui, ready to strike.


Run, Yui! Run!


She could hear her sister’s voice in her head. She really wanted to run far far away—as far as possible from the masked man. But, her body would not move no matter how hard she tried. So, she tried to close her eyes as tight as she could and prepared herself for whatever would happen next.


Yes, that’s it Yui. Just close your eyes. Go to sleep. The police will be here soon. I’ll be here when you wake up. Just sleep for now.


But, when Yui opened her eyes again, no one was there. Not even the masked man. But, she could hear the sound of a siren in the distance and she saw some blinking red lights.


It’s over, Child. It’s already over.


She could hear someone said.


You are safe now. You will be okay.


So they said. But, as they were saying that, Yui could see some people in white uniforms wheeling two bodies on the stretchers. One was smaller than the other, but both were fully covered with white bloody sheets. When she saw a small hand with a pink floral bracelet came out from under one of the sheets, she immediately knew.


No, no, no! Don’t take my sister away! You can’t take my sister away! Onee-chan...!


She could feel her body being held back. The harder she tried, the stronger they were in dragging her away from that place. She could not do anything but wailing. She kept on calling her sister while deep inside blaming herself for letting everything to happen. It was supposed to be her on the stretcher, not her sister...


“Yokoyama-sensei?”


Yokoyama Yui was startled awake. Again. She did not know how many times it had happened over the last few days. The terror would keep on repeating itself in every twisted version possible. Then, Yui would no longer be able to tell dream from reality apart. She would be so involved in whatever scenario her mind was playing at the time, then she would be awaken so abruptly with her body in cold sweat. This time, her hands were also shaking.


“Are you all right?”


The voice filled with concern was not Kitahara Rie’s. So, Yui rubbed her eyes and squinted, trying to have a better look at the person sitting right beside her bed. The face she found there made her wonder whether she was still sleeping and it was just another twisted version of her flashbacks—the continuation of the previous one.


“...Shimazaki-san?” she said, not sure if she was right.

The woman in question averted her eyes by looking at the floor and confirmed it with a rather awkward, “H-hai...”


Yui closed her eyes tightly, not believing that it was happening. She did not know how Shimazaki Haruka could end up in her flat. She did not really want to know. Not now. She got a lot in her mind. It felt like her head was going to explode anytime. She could not deal with anything else right now.


“I’m sorry to come without any prior notice,” she heard Shimazaki Haruka said, “I came to the school earlier... to apologize for everything that happened a few days ago... But, I heard that you haven’t been coming to school, so...”

“Shimazaki-san,” Yui interrupted.

“...Yes?”

“How did you get in?” she asked.

“...Kitahara-san let me in...”

“Where is she now?”

“...She’s outside, answering a phone call...”

“All right, then... This really is not a good time for me. So, I need to ask you to leave.”


There was silence. Yui knew that she was being awfully rude. But, she could not have Shimazaki Haruka there while she was trying to get through all these recounts of a horrific past—not when the woman was also a reminder of another past she had been trying to move on from for years.


“Aah, Yui-chan! You’re already awake. Good. I was just done making some soup a few minutes ago before Sasshi called to ask how you’re doing,” Kitahara Rie chimed as she walked back in.


She might not be able to read the mood in front of her. But, Yui immediately made it more obvious for her.


“Rie-san, please see Shimazaki-san to the door.”

Her request stopped Rie on her track.

“Eh?”

“Shimazaki-san is done here. I may still have some trouble walking around. So, would you please see her to the door?”


Confusion was written all over Kitahara Rie’s face. She looked at Yui to make sure that she heard it right. Yui might be a loner. But, in all the years they had known each other, she never saw or heard her being that harsh. Since she went through all the trouble to go and visit her, she thought, wasn’t the woman also Yui’s friend?

Kitahara Rie was about to question what happened. But, before she was able to voice what was on her mind, Shimazaki Haruka abruptly got up from her seat.


“I’m sorry to disturb you. I’ll take my leave now.”


She bowed a little to Yui, then rushed to the door. Yui did not say anything in response. But, she was fully aware of some wet spots her guest had left on the floor.









To be continued...



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« Last Edit: December 21, 2016, 12:23:20 PM by DeNight »

Offline KyouyaAnis

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Re: DeNight's YuiParu Delusions
« Reply #59 on: December 22, 2016, 11:49:54 AM »
Ahhhhh an update  :on drink:


So, Yui had some dark childhood  :on freeze:


Ahhh I hope Haruka will help her forget about the masked man. DARN YOU MASKED MAN  :angry1:


I'll wait for the next update  :byebye:


Hope you'll update soon  :nya:

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